1605
                                  DON QUIXOTE
                             by Miguel de Cervantes
                           Translated by John Ormsby

THE AUTHOR'S PREFACE

  IDLE READER: thou mayest believe me without any oath that I would
this book, as it is the child of my brain, were the fairest, gayest,
and cleverest that could be imagined. But I could not counteract
Nature's law that everything shall beget its like; and what, then,
could this sterile, illtilled wit of mine beget but the story of a
dry, shrivelled, whimsical offspring, full of thoughts of all sorts
and such as never came into any other imagination- just what might
be begotten in a prison, where every misery is lodged and every
doleful sound makes its dwelling? Tranquillity, a cheerful retreat,
pleasant fields, bright skies, murmuring brooks, peace of mind,
these are the things that go far to make even the most barren muses
fertile, and bring into the world births that fill it with wonder
and delight. Sometimes when a father has an ugly, loutish son, the
love he bears him so blindfolds his eyes that he does not see his
defects, or, rather, takes them for gifts and charms of mind and body,
and talks of them to his friends as wit and grace. I, however- for
though I pass for the father, I am but the stepfather to "Don
Quixote"- have no desire to go with the current of custom, or to
implore thee, dearest reader, almost with tears in my eyes, as
others do, to pardon or excuse the defects thou wilt perceive in
this child of mine. Thou art neither its kinsman nor its friend, thy
soul is thine own and thy will as free as any man's, whate'er he be,
thou art in thine own house and master of it as much as the king of
his taxes and thou knowest the common saying, "Under my cloak I kill
the king;" all which exempts and frees thee from every consideration
and obligation, and thou canst say what thou wilt of the story without
fear of being abused for any ill or rewarded for any good thou
mayest say of it.
  My wish would be simply to present it to thee plain and unadorned,
without any embellishment of preface or uncountable muster of
customary sonnets, epigrams, and eulogies, such as are commonly put at
the beginning of books. For I can tell thee, though composing it
cost me some labour, I found none greater than the making of this
Preface thou art now reading. Many times did I take up my pen to write
it, and many did I lay it down again, not knowing what to write. One
of these times, as I was pondering with the paper before me, a pen
in my ear, my elbow on the desk, and my cheek in my hand, thinking
of what I should say, there came in unexpectedly a certain lively,
clever friend of mine, who, seeing me so deep in thought, asked the
reason; to which I, making no mystery of it, answered that I was
thinking of the Preface I had to make for the story of "Don
Quixote," which so troubled me that I had a mind not to make any at
all, nor even publish the achievements of so noble a knight.
  "For, how could you expect me not to feel uneasy about what that
ancient lawgiver they call the Public will say when it sees me,
after slumbering so many years in the silence of oblivion, coming
out now with all my years upon my back, and with a book as dry as a
rush, devoid of invention, meagre in style, poor in thoughts, wholly
wanting in learning and wisdom, without quotations in the margin or
annotations at the end, after the fashion of other books I see, which,
though all fables and profanity, are so full of maxims from Aristotle,
and Plato, and the whole herd of philosophers, that they fill the
readers with amazement and convince them that the authors are men of
learning, erudition, and eloquence. And then, when they quote the Holy
Scriptures!- anyone would say they are St. Thomases or other doctors
of the Church, observing as they do a decorum so ingenious that in one
sentence they describe a distracted lover and in the next deliver a
devout little sermon that it is a pleasure and a treat to hear and
read. Of all this there will be nothing in my book, for I have nothing
to quote in the margin or to note at the end, and still less do I know
what authors I follow in it, to place them at the beginning, as all
do, under the letters A, B, C, beginning with Aristotle and ending
with Xenophon, or Zoilus, or Zeuxis, though one was a slanderer and
the other a painter. Also my book must do without sonnets at the
beginning, at least sonnets whose authors are dukes, marquises,
counts, bishops, ladies, or famous poets. Though if I were to ask
two or three obliging friends, I know they would give me them, and
such as the productions of those that have the highest reputation in
our Spain could not equal.
  "In short, my friend," I continued, "I am determined that Senor
Don Quixote shall remain buried in the archives of his own La Mancha
until Heaven provide some one to garnish him with all those things
he stands in need of; because I find myself, through my shallowness
and want of learning, unequal to supplying them, and because I am by
nature shy and careless about hunting for authors to say what I myself
can say without them. Hence the cogitation and abstraction you found
me in, and reason enough, what you have heard from me."
  Hearing this, my friend, giving himself a slap on the forehead and
breaking into a hearty laugh, exclaimed, "Before God, Brother, now
am I disabused of an error in which I have been living all this long
time I have known you, all through which I have taken you to be shrewd
and sensible in all you do; but now I see you are as far from that
as the heaven is from the earth. It is possible that things of so
little moment and so easy to set right can occupy and perplex a ripe
wit like yours, fit to break through and crush far greater
obstacles? By my faith, this comes, not of any want of ability, but of
too much indolence and too little knowledge of life. Do you want to
know if I am telling the truth? Well, then, attend to me, and you will
see how, in the opening and shutting of an eye, I sweep away all
your difficulties, and supply all those deficiencies which you say
check and discourage you from bringing before the world the story of
your famous Don Quixote, the light and mirror of all knight-errantry."
  "Say on," said I, listening to his talk; "how do you propose to make
up for my diffidence, and reduce to order this chaos of perplexity I
am in?"
  To which he made answer, "Your first difficulty about the sonnets,
epigrams, or complimentary verses which you want for the beginning,
and which ought to be by persons of importance and rank, can be
removed if you yourself take a little trouble to make them; you can
afterwards baptise them, and put any name you like to them,
fathering them on Prester John of the Indies or the Emperor of
Trebizond, who, to my knowledge, were said to have been famous
poets: and even if they were not, and any pedants or bachelors
should attack you and question the fact, never care two maravedis
for that, for even if they prove a lie against you they cannot cut off
the hand you wrote it with.
  "As to references in the margin to the books and authors from whom
you take the aphorisms and sayings you put into your story, it is only
contriving to fit in nicely any sentences or scraps of Latin you may
happen to have by heart, or at any rate that will not give you much
trouble to look up; so as, when you speak of freedom and captivity, to
insert

     Non bene pro toto libertas venditur auro;

and then refer in the margin to Horace, or whoever said it; or, if you
allude to the power of death, to come in with-

     Pallida mors Aequo pulsat pede pauperum tabernas,
         Regumque turres.

If it be friendship and the love God bids us bear to our enemy, go
at once to the Holy Scriptures, which you can do with a very small
amount of research, and quote no less than the words of God himself:
Ego autem dico vobis: diligite inimicos vestros. If you speak of
evil thoughts, turn to the Gospel: De corde exeunt cogitationes malae.
If of the fickleness of friends, there is Cato, who will give you
his distich:

     Donec eris felix multos numerabis amicos,
         Tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris.

With these and such like bits of Latin they will take you for a
grammarian at all events, and that now-a-days is no small honour and
profit.
  "With regard to adding annotations at the end of the book, you may
safely do it in this way. If you mention any giant in your book
contrive that it shall be the giant Goliath, and with this alone,
which will cost you almost nothing, you have a grand note, for you can
put- The giant Golias or Goliath was a Philistine whom the shepherd
David slew by a mighty stone-cast in the Terebinth valley, as is
related in the Book of Kings- in the chapter where you find it
written.
  "Next, to prove yourself a man of erudition in polite literature and
cosmography, manage that the river Tagus shall be named in your story,
and there you are at once with another famous annotation, setting
forth- The river Tagus was so called after a King of Spain: it has its
source in such and such a place and falls into the ocean, kissing
the walls of the famous city of Lisbon, and it is a common belief that
it has golden sands, &c. If you should have anything to do with
robbers, I will give you the story of Cacus, for I have it by heart;
if with loose women, there is the Bishop of Mondonedo, who will give
you the loan of Lamia, Laida, and Flora, any reference to whom will
bring you great credit; if with hard-hearted ones, Ovid will furnish
you with Medea; if with witches or enchantresses, Homer has Calypso,
and Virgil Circe; if with valiant captains, Julius Caesar himself will
lend you himself in his own 'Commentaries,' and Plutarch will give you
a thousand Alexanders. If you should deal with love, with two ounces
you may know of Tuscan you can go to Leon the Hebrew, who will
supply you to your heart's content; or if you should not care to go to
foreign countries you have at home Fonseca's 'Of the Love of God,'
in which is condensed all that you or the most imaginative mind can
want on the subject. In short, all you have to do is to manage to
quote these names, or refer to these stories I have mentioned, and
leave it to me to insert the annotations and quotations, and I swear
by all that's good to fill your margins and use up four sheets at
the end of the book.
  "Now let us come to those references to authors which other books
have, and you want for yours. The remedy for this is very simple:
You have only to look out for some book that quotes them all, from A
to Z as you say yourself, and then insert the very same alphabet in
your book, and though the imposition may be plain to see, because
you have so little need to borrow from them, that is no matter;
there will probably be some simple enough to believe that you have
made use of them all in this plain, artless story of yours. At any
rate, if it answers no other purpose, this long catalogue of authors
will serve to give a surprising look of authority to your book.
Besides, no one will trouble himself to verify whether you have
followed them or whether you have not, being no way concerned in it;
especially as, if I mistake not, this book of yours has no need of any
one of those things you say it wants, for it is, from beginning to
end, an attack upon the books of chivalry, of which Aristotle never
dreamt, nor St. Basil said a word, nor Cicero had any knowledge; nor
do the niceties of truth nor the observations of astrology come within
the range of its fanciful vagaries; nor have geometrical
measurements or refutations of the arguments used in rhetoric anything
to do with it; nor does it mean to preach to anybody, mixing up things
human and divine, a sort of motley in which no Christian understanding
should dress itself. It has only to avail itself of truth to nature in
its composition, and the more perfect the imitation the better the
work will be. And as this piece of yours aims at nothing more than
to destroy the authority and influence which books of chivalry have in
the world and with the public, there is no need for you to go
a-begging for aphorisms from philosophers, precepts from Holy
Scripture, fables from poets, speeches from orators, or miracles
from saints; but merely to take care that your style and diction run
musically, pleasantly, and plainly, with clear, proper, and
well-placed words, setting forth your purpose to the best of your
power, and putting your ideas intelligibly, without confusion or
obscurity. Strive, too, that in reading your story the melancholy
may be moved to laughter, and the merry made merrier still; that the
simple shall not be wearied, that the judicious shall admire the
invention, that the grave shall not despise it, nor the wise fail to
praise it. Finally, keep your aim fixed on the destruction of that
ill-founded edifice of the books of chivalry, hated by some and
praised by many more; for if you succeed in this you will have
achieved no small success."
  In profound silence I listened to what my friend said, and his
observations made such an impression on me that, without attempting to
question them, I admitted their soundness, and out of them I
determined to make this Preface; wherein, gentle reader, thou wilt
perceive my friend's good sense, my good fortune in finding such an
adviser in such a time of need, and what thou hast gained in
receiving, without addition or alteration, the story of the famous Don
Quixote of La Mancha, who is held by all the inhabitants of the
district of the Campo de Montiel to have been the chastest lover and
the bravest knight that has for many years been seen in that
neighbourhood. I have no desire to magnify the service I render thee
in making thee acquainted with so renowned and honoured a knight,
but I do desire thy thanks for the acquaintance thou wilt make with
the famous Sancho Panza, his squire, in whom, to my thinking, I have
given thee condensed all the squirely drolleries that are scattered
through the swarm of the vain books of chivalry. And so- may God
give thee health, and not forget me. Vale.
  DEDICATION OF PART I

  TO THE DUKE OF BEJAR, MARQUIS OF GIBRALEON, COUNT OF BENALCAZAR
AND BANARES, VICECOUNT OF THE PUEBLA DE ALCOCER, MASTER OF THE TOWNS
OF CAPILLA, CURIEL AND BURGUILLOS

  IN belief of the good reception and honours that Your Excellency
bestows on all sort of books, as prince so inclined to favor good
arts, chiefly those who by their nobleness do not submit to the
service and bribery of the vulgar, I have determined bringing to light
The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of la Mancha, in shelter of Your
Excellency's glamorous name, to whom, with the obeisance I owe to such
grandeur, I pray to receive it agreeably under his protection, so that
in this shadow, though deprived of that precious ornament of
elegance and erudition that clothe the works composed in the houses of
those who know, it dares appear with assurance in the judgment of some
who, trespassing the bounds of their own ignorance, use to condemn
with more rigour and less justice the writings of others. It is my
earnest hope that Your Excellency's good counsel in regard to my
honourable purpose, will not disdain the littleness of so humble a
service.
                                       Miguel de Cervantes
  CHAPTER I
  WHICH TREATS OF THE CHARACTER AND PURSUITS OF THE FAMOUS GENTLEMAN
DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA

  IN a village of La Mancha, the name of which I have no desire to
call to mind, there lived not long since one of those gentlemen that
keep a lance in the lance-rack, an old buckler, a lean hack, and a
greyhound for coursing. An olla of rather more beef than mutton, a
salad on most nights, scraps on Saturdays, lentils on Fridays, and a
pigeon or so extra on Sundays, made away with three-quarters of his
income. The rest of it went in a doublet of fine cloth and velvet
breeches and shoes to match for holidays, while on week-days he made a
brave figure in his best homespun. He had in his house a housekeeper
past forty, a niece under twenty, and a lad for the field and
market-place, who used to saddle the hack as well as handle the
bill-hook. The age of this gentleman of ours was bordering on fifty;
he was of a hardy habit, spare, gaunt-featured, a very early riser and
a great sportsman. They will have it his surname was Quixada or
Quesada (for here there is some difference of opinion among the
authors who write on the subject), although from reasonable
conjectures it seems plain that he was called Quexana. This,
however, is of but little importance to our tale; it will be enough
not to stray a hair's breadth from the truth in the telling of it.
  You must know, then, that the above-named gentleman whenever he
was at leisure (which was mostly all the year round) gave himself up
to reading books of chivalry with such ardour and avidity that he
almost entirely neglected the pursuit of his field-sports, and even
the management of his property; and to such a pitch did his
eagerness and infatuation go that he sold many an acre of
tillageland to buy books of chivalry to read, and brought home as many
of them as he could get. But of all there were none he liked so well
as those of the famous Feliciano de Silva's composition, for their
lucidity of style and complicated conceits were as pearls in his
sight, particularly when in his reading he came upon courtships and
cartels, where he often found passages like "the reason of the
unreason with which my reason is afflicted so weakens my reason that
with reason I murmur at your beauty;" or again, "the high heavens,
that of your divinity divinely fortify you with the stars, render
you deserving of the desert your greatness deserves." Over conceits of
this sort the poor gentleman lost his wits, and used to lie awake
striving to understand them and worm the meaning out of them; what
Aristotle himself could not have made out or extracted had he come
to life again for that special purpose. He was not at all easy about
the wounds which Don Belianis gave and took, because it seemed to
him that, great as were the surgeons who had cured him, he must have
had his face and body covered all over with seams and scars. He
commended, however, the author's way of ending his book with the
promise of that interminable adventure, and many a time was he tempted
to take up his pen and finish it properly as is there proposed,
which no doubt he would have done, and made a successful piece of work
of it too, had not greater and more absorbing thoughts prevented him.
  Many an argument did he have with the curate of his village (a
learned man, and a graduate of Siguenza) as to which had been the
better knight, Palmerin of England or Amadis of Gaul. Master Nicholas,
the village barber, however, used to say that neither of them came
up to the Knight of Phoebus, and that if there was any that could
compare with him it was Don Galaor, the brother of Amadis of Gaul,
because he had a spirit that was equal to every occasion, and was no
finikin knight, nor lachrymose like his brother, while in the matter
of valour he was not a whit behind him. In short, he became so
absorbed in his books that he spent his nights from sunset to sunrise,
and his days from dawn to dark, poring over them; and what with little
sleep and much reading his brains got so dry that he lost his wits.
His fancy grew full of what he used to read about in his books,
enchantments, quarrels, battles, challenges, wounds, wooings, loves,
agonies, and all sorts of impossible nonsense; and it so possessed his
mind that the whole fabric of invention and fancy he read of was true,
that to him no history in the world had more reality in it. He used to
say the Cid Ruy Diaz was a very good knight, but that he was not to be
compared with the Knight of the Burning Sword who with one back-stroke
cut in half two fierce and monstrous giants. He thought more of
Bernardo del Carpio because at Roncesvalles he slew Roland in spite of
enchantments, availing himself of the artifice of Hercules when he
strangled Antaeus the son of Terra in his arms. He approved highly
of the giant Morgante, because, although of the giant breed which is
always arrogant and ill-conditioned, he alone was affable and
well-bred. But above all he admired Reinaldos of Montalban, especially
when he saw him sallying forth from his castle and robbing everyone he
met, and when beyond the seas he stole that image of Mahomet which, as
his history says, was entirely of gold. To have a bout of kicking at
that traitor of a Ganelon he would have given his housekeeper, and his
niece into the bargain.
  In short, his wits being quite gone, he hit upon the strangest
notion that ever madman in this world hit upon, and that was that he
fancied it was right and requisite, as well for the support of his own
honour as for the service of his country, that he should make a
knight-errant of himself, roaming the world over in full armour and on
horseback in quest of adventures, and putting in practice himself
all that he had read of as being the usual practices of
knights-errant; righting every kind of wrong, and exposing himself
to peril and danger from which, in the issue, he was to reap eternal
renown and fame. Already the poor man saw himself crowned by the might
of his arm Emperor of Trebizond at least; and so, led away by the
intense enjoyment he found in these pleasant fancies, he set himself
forthwith to put his scheme into execution.
  The first thing he did was to clean up some armour that had belonged
to his great-grandfather, and had been for ages lying forgotten in a
corner eaten with rust and covered with mildew. He scoured and
polished it as best he could, but he perceived one great defect in it,
that it had no closed helmet, nothing but a simple morion. This
deficiency, however, his ingenuity supplied, for he contrived a kind
of half-helmet of pasteboard which, fitted on to the morion, looked
like a whole one. It is true that, in order to see if it was strong
and fit to stand a cut, he drew his sword and gave it a couple of
slashes, the first of which undid in an instant what had taken him a
week to do. The ease with which he had knocked it to pieces
disconcerted him somewhat, and to guard against that danger he set
to work again, fixing bars of iron on the inside until he was
satisfied with its strength; and then, not caring to try any more
experiments with it, he passed it and adopted it as a helmet of the
most perfect construction.
  He next proceeded to inspect his hack, which, with more quartos than
a real and more blemishes than the steed of Gonela, that "tantum
pellis et ossa fuit," surpassed in his eyes the Bucephalus of
Alexander or the Babieca of the Cid. Four days were spent in
thinking what name to give him, because (as he said to himself) it was
not right that a horse belonging to a knight so famous, and one with
such merits of his own, should be without some distinctive name, and
he strove to adapt it so as to indicate what he had been before
belonging to a knight-errant, and what he then was; for it was only
reasonable that, his master taking a new character, he should take a
new name, and that it should be a distinguished and full-sounding one,
befitting the new order and calling he was about to follow. And so,
after having composed, struck out, rejected, added to, unmade, and
remade a multitude of names out of his memory and fancy, he decided
upon calling him Rocinante, a name, to his thinking, lofty,
sonorous, and significant of his condition as a hack before he
became what he now was, the first and foremost of all the hacks in the
world.
  Having got a name for his horse so much to his taste, he was anxious
to get one for himself, and he was eight days more pondering over this
point, till at last he made up his mind to call himself "Don Quixote,"
whence, as has been already said, the authors of this veracious
history have inferred that his name must have been beyond a doubt
Quixada, and not Quesada as others would have it. Recollecting,
however, that the valiant Amadis was not content to call himself
curtly Amadis and nothing more, but added the name of his kingdom
and country to make it famous, and called himself Amadis of Gaul,
he, like a good knight, resolved to add on the name of his, and to
style himself Don Quixote of La Mancha, whereby, he considered, he
described accurately his origin and country, and did honour to it in
taking his surname from it.
  So then, his armour being furbished, his morion turned into a
helmet, his hack christened, and he himself confirmed, he came to
the conclusion that nothing more was needed now but to look out for
a lady to be in love with; for a knight-errant without love was like a
tree without leaves or fruit, or a body without a soul. As he said
to himself, "If, for my sins, or by my good fortune, I come across
some giant hereabouts, a common occurrence with knights-errant, and
overthrow him in one onslaught, or cleave him asunder to the waist,
or, in short, vanquish and subdue him, will it not be well to have
some one I may send him to as a present, that he may come in and
fall on his knees before my sweet lady, and in a humble, submissive
voice say, 'I am the giant Caraculiambro, lord of the island of
Malindrania, vanquished in single combat by the never sufficiently
extolled knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, who has commanded me to
present myself before your Grace, that your Highness dispose of me
at your pleasure'?" Oh, how our good gentleman enjoyed the delivery of
this speech, especially when he had thought of some one to call his
Lady! There was, so the story goes, in a village near his own a very
good-looking farm-girl with whom he had been at one time in love,
though, so far as is known, she never knew it nor gave a thought to
the matter. Her name was Aldonza Lorenzo, and upon her he thought
fit to confer the title of Lady of his Thoughts; and after some search
for a name which should not be out of harmony with her own, and should
suggest and indicate that of a princess and great lady, he decided
upon calling her Dulcinea del Toboso -she being of El Toboso- a
name, to his mind, musical, uncommon, and significant, like all
those he had already bestowed upon himself and the things belonging to
him.
  CHAPTER II
  WHICH TREATS OF THE FIRST SALLY THE INGENIOUS DON QUIXOTE MADE
FROM HOME

  THESE preliminaries settled, he did not care to put off any longer
the execution of his design, urged on to it by the thought of all
the world was losing by his delay, seeing what wrongs he intended to
right, grievances to redress, injustices to repair, abuses to
remove, and duties to discharge. So, without giving notice of his
intention to anyone, and without anybody seeing him, one morning
before the dawning of the day (which was one of the hottest of the
month of July) he donned his suit of armour, mounted Rocinante with
his patched-up helmet on, braced his buckler, took his lance, and by
the back door of the yard sallied forth upon the plain in the
highest contentment and satisfaction at seeing with what ease he had
made a beginning with his grand purpose. But scarcely did he find
himself upon the open plain, when a terrible thought struck him, one
all but enough to make him abandon the enterprise at the very
outset. It occurred to him that he had not been dubbed a knight, and
that according to the law of chivalry he neither could nor ought to
bear arms against any knight; and that even if he had been, still he
ought, as a novice knight, to wear white armour, without a device upon
the shield until by his prowess he had earned one. These reflections
made him waver in his purpose, but his craze being stronger than any
reasoning, he made up his mind to have himself dubbed a knight by
the first one he came across, following the example of others in the
same case, as he had read in the books that brought him to this
pass. As for white armour, he resolved, on the first opportunity, to
scour his until it was whiter than an ermine; and so comforting
himself he pursued his way, taking that which his horse chose, for
in this he believed lay the essence of adventures.
  Thus setting out, our new-fledged adventurer paced along, talking to
himself and saying, "Who knows but that in time to come, when the
veracious history of my famous deeds is made known, the sage who
writes it, when he has to set forth my first sally in the early
morning, will do it after this fashion? 'Scarce had the rubicund
Apollo spread o'er the face of the broad spacious earth the golden
threads of his bright hair, scarce had the little birds of painted
plumage attuned their notes to hail with dulcet and mellifluous
harmony the coming of the rosy Dawn, that, deserting the soft couch of
her jealous spouse, was appearing to mortals at the gates and
balconies of the Manchegan horizon, when the renowned knight Don
Quixote of La Mancha, quitting the lazy down, mounted his celebrated
steed Rocinante and began to traverse the ancient and famous Campo
de Montiel;'" which in fact he was actually traversing. "Happy the
age, happy the time," he continued, "in which shall be made known my
deeds of fame, worthy to be moulded in brass, carved in marble, limned
in pictures, for a memorial for ever. And thou, O sage magician,
whoever thou art, to whom it shall fall to be the chronicler of this
wondrous history, forget not, I entreat thee, my good Rocinante, the
constant companion of my ways and wanderings." Presently he broke
out again, as if he were love-stricken in earnest, "O Princess
Dulcinea, lady of this captive heart, a grievous wrong hast thou
done me to drive me forth with scorn, and with inexorable obduracy
banish me from the presence of thy beauty. O lady, deign to hold in
remembrance this heart, thy vassal, that thus in anguish pines for
love of thee."
  So he went on stringing together these and other absurdities, all in
the style of those his books had taught him, imitating their
language as well as he could; and all the while he rode so slowly
and the sun mounted so rapidly and with such fervour that it was
enough to melt his brains if he had any. Nearly all day he travelled
without anything remarkable happening to him, at which he was in
despair, for he was anxious to encounter some one at once upon whom to
try the might of his strong arm.
  Writers there are who say the first adventure he met with was that
of Puerto Lapice; others say it was that of the windmills; but what
I have ascertained on this point, and what I have found written in the
annals of La Mancha, is that he was on the road all day, and towards
nightfall his hack and he found themselves dead tired and hungry,
when, looking all around to see if he could discover any castle or
shepherd's shanty where he might refresh himself and relieve his
sore wants, he perceived not far out of his road an inn, which was
as welcome as a star guiding him to the portals, if not the palaces,
of his redemption; and quickening his pace he reached it just as night
was setting in. At the door were standing two young women, girls of
the district as they call them, on their way to Seville with some
carriers who had chanced to halt that night at the inn; and as, happen
what might to our adventurer, everything he saw or imaged seemed to
him to be and to happen after the fashion of what he read of, the
moment he saw the inn he pictured it to himself as a castle with its
four turrets and pinnacles of shining silver, not forgetting the
drawbridge and moat and all the belongings usually ascribed to castles
of the sort. To this inn, which to him seemed a castle, he advanced,
and at a short distance from it he checked Rocinante, hoping that some
dwarf would show himself upon the battlements, and by sound of trumpet
give notice that a knight was approaching the castle. But seeing
that they were slow about it, and that Rocinante was in a hurry to
reach the stable, he made for the inn door, and perceived the two
gay damsels who were standing there, and who seemed to him to be two
fair maidens or lovely ladies taking their ease at the castle gate.
  At this moment it so happened that a swineherd who was going through
the stubbles collecting a drove of pigs (for, without any apology,
that is what they are called) gave a blast of his horn to bring them
together, and forthwith it seemed to Don Quixote to be what he was
expecting, the signal of some dwarf announcing his arrival; and so
with prodigious satisfaction he rode up to the inn and to the
ladies, who, seeing a man of this sort approaching in full armour
and with lance and buckler, were turning in dismay into the inn,
when Don Quixote, guessing their fear by their flight, raising his
pasteboard visor, disclosed his dry dusty visage, and with courteous
bearing and gentle voice addressed them, "Your ladyships need not
fly or fear any rudeness, for that it belongs not to the order of
knighthood which I profess to offer to anyone, much less to highborn
maidens as your appearance proclaims you to be." The girls were
looking at him and straining their eyes to make out the features which
the clumsy visor obscured, but when they heard themselves called
maidens, a thing so much out of their line, they could not restrain
their laughter, which made Don Quixote wax indignant, and say,
"Modesty becomes the fair, and moreover laughter that has little cause
is great silliness; this, however, I say not to pain or anger you, for
my desire is none other than to serve you."
  The incomprehensible language and the unpromising looks of our
cavalier only increased the ladies' laughter, and that increased his
irritation, and matters might have gone farther if at that moment
the landlord had not come out, who, being a very fat man, was a very
peaceful one. He, seeing this grotesque figure clad in armour that did
not match any more than his saddle, bridle, lance, buckler, or
corselet, was not at all indisposed to join the damsels in their
manifestations of amusement; but, in truth, standing in awe of such
a complicated armament, he thought it best to speak him fairly, so
he said, "Senor Caballero, if your worship wants lodging, bating the
bed (for there is not one in the inn) there is plenty of everything
else here." Don Quixote, observing the respectful bearing of the
Alcaide of the fortress (for so innkeeper and inn seemed in his eyes),
made answer, "Sir Castellan, for me anything will suffice, for

              'My armour is my only wear,
                My only rest the fray.'"

The host fancied he called him Castellan because he took him for a
"worthy of Castile," though he was in fact an Andalusian, and one from
the strand of San Lucar, as crafty a thief as Cacus and as full of
tricks as a student or a page. "In that case," said he,

            "'Your bed is on the flinty rock,
              Your sleep to watch alway;'

and if so, you may dismount and safely reckon upon any quantity of
sleeplessness under this roof for a twelvemonth, not to say for a
single night." So saying, he advanced to hold the stirrup for Don
Quixote, who got down with great difficulty and exertion (for he had
not broken his fast all day), and then charged the host to take
great care of his horse, as he was the best bit of flesh that ever ate
bread in this world. The landlord eyed him over but did not find him
as good as Don Quixote said, nor even half as good; and putting him up
in the stable, he returned to see what might be wanted by his guest,
whom the damsels, who had by this time made their peace with him, were
now relieving of his armour. They had taken off his breastplate and
backpiece, but they neither knew nor saw how to open his gorget or
remove his make-shift helmet, for he had fastened it with green
ribbons, which, as there was no untying the knots, required to be cut.
This, however, he would not by any means consent to, so he remained
all the evening with his helmet on, the drollest and oddest figure
that can be imagined; and while they were removing his armour,
taking the baggages who were about it for ladies of high degree
belonging to the castle, he said to them with great sprightliness:

         "Oh, never, surely, was there knight
           So served by hand of dame,
         As served was he, Don Quixote hight,
           When from his town he came;
         With maidens waiting on himself,
           Princesses on his hack-

-or Rocinante, for that, ladies mine, is my horse's name, and Don
Quixote of La Mancha is my own; for though I had no intention of
declaring myself until my achievements in your service and honour
had made me known, the necessity of adapting that old ballad of
Lancelot to the present occasion has given you the knowledge of my
name altogether prematurely. A time, however, will come for your
ladyships to command and me to obey, and then the might of my arm will
show my desire to serve you."
  The girls, who were not used to hearing rhetoric of this sort, had
nothing to say in reply; they only asked him if he wanted anything
to eat. "I would gladly eat a bit of something," said Don Quixote,
"for I feel it would come very seasonably." The day happened to be a
Friday, and in the whole inn there was nothing but some pieces of
the fish they call in Castile "abadejo," in Andalusia "bacallao,"
and in some places "curadillo," and in others "troutlet;" so they
asked him if he thought he could eat troutlet, for there was no
other fish to give him. "If there be troutlets enough," said Don
Quixote, "they will be the same thing as a trout; for it is all one to
me whether I am given eight reals in small change or a piece of eight;
moreover, it may be that these troutlets are like veal, which is
better than beef, or kid, which is better than goat. But whatever it
be let it come quickly, for the burden and pressure of arms cannot
be borne without support to the inside." They laid a table for him
at the door of the inn for the sake of the air, and the host brought
him a portion of ill-soaked and worse cooked stockfish, and a piece of
bread as black and mouldy as his own armour; but a laughable sight
it was to see him eating, for having his helmet on and the beaver
up, he could not with his own hands put anything into his mouth unless
some one else placed it there, and this service one of the ladies
rendered him. But to give him anything to drink was impossible, or
would have been so had not the landlord bored a reed, and putting
one end in his mouth poured the wine into him through the other; all
which he bore with patience rather than sever the ribbons of his
helmet.
  While this was going on there came up to the inn a sowgelder, who,
as he approached, sounded his reed pipe four or five times, and
thereby completely convinced Don Quixote that he was in some famous
castle, and that they were regaling him with music, and that the
stockfish was trout, the bread the whitest, the wenches ladies, and
the landlord the castellan of the castle; and consequently he held
that his enterprise and sally had been to some purpose. But still it
distressed him to think he had not been dubbed a knight, for it was
plain to him he could not lawfully engage in any adventure without
receiving the order of knighthood.
  CHAPTER III
  WHEREIN IS RELATED THE DROLL WAY IN WHICH DON QUIXOTE HAD HIMSELF
DUBBED A KNIGHT

  HARASSED by this reflection, he made haste with his scanty
pothouse supper, and having finished it called the landlord, and
shutting himself into the stable with him, fell on his knees before
him, saying, "From this spot I rise not, valiant knight, until your
courtesy grants me the boon I seek, one that will redound to your
praise and the benefit of the human race." The landlord, seeing his
guest at his feet and hearing a speech of this kind, stood staring
at him in bewilderment, not knowing what to do or say, and
entreating him to rise, but all to no purpose until he had agreed to
grant the boon demanded of him. "I looked for no less, my lord, from
your High Magnificence," replied Don Quixote, "and I have to tell
you that the boon I have asked and your liberality has granted is that
you shall dub me knight to-morrow morning, and that to-night I shall
watch my arms in the chapel of this your castle; thus tomorrow, as I
have said, will be accomplished what I so much desire, enabling me
lawfully to roam through all the four quarters of the world seeking
adventures on behalf of those in distress, as is the duty of
chivalry and of knights-errant like myself, whose ambition is directed
to such deeds."
  The landlord, who, as has been mentioned, was something of a wag,
and had already some suspicion of his guest's want of wits, was
quite convinced of it on hearing talk of this kind from him, and to
make sport for the night he determined to fall in with his humour.
So he told him he was quite right in pursuing the object he had in
view, and that such a motive was natural and becoming in cavaliers
as distinguished as he seemed and his gallant bearing showed him to
be; and that he himself in his younger days had followed the same
honourable calling, roaming in quest of adventures in various parts of
the world, among others the Curing-grounds of Malaga, the Isles of
Riaran, the Precinct of Seville, the Little Market of Segovia, the
Olivera of Valencia, the Rondilla of Granada, the Strand of San Lucar,
the Colt of Cordova, the Taverns of Toledo, and divers other quarters,
where he had proved the nimbleness of his feet and the lightness of
his fingers, doing many wrongs, cheating many widows, ruining maids
and swindling minors, and, in short, bringing himself under the notice
of almost every tribunal and court of justice in Spain; until at
last he had retired to this castle of his, where he was living upon
his property and upon that of others; and where he received all
knights-errant of whatever rank or condition they might be, all for
the great love he bore them and that they might share their
substance with him in return for his benevolence. He told him,
moreover, that in this castle of his there was no chapel in which he
could watch his armour, as it had been pulled down in order to be
rebuilt, but that in a case of necessity it might, he knew, be watched
anywhere, and he might watch it that night in a courtyard of the
castle, and in the morning, God willing, the requisite ceremonies
might be performed so as to have him dubbed a knight, and so
thoroughly dubbed that nobody could be more so. He asked if he had any
money with him, to which Don Quixote replied that he had not a
farthing, as in the histories of knights-errant he had never read of
any of them carrying any. On this point the landlord told him he was
mistaken; for, though not recorded in the histories, because in the
author's opinion there was no need to mention anything so obvious
and necessary as money and clean shirts, it was not to be supposed
therefore that they did not carry them, and he might regard it as
certain and established that all knights-errant (about whom there were
so many full and unimpeachable books) carried well-furnished purses in
case of emergency, and likewise carried shirts and a little box of
ointment to cure the wounds they received. For in those plains and
deserts where they engaged in combat and came out wounded, it was
not always that there was some one to cure them, unless indeed they
had for a friend some sage magician to succour them at once by
fetching through the air upon a cloud some damsel or dwarf with a vial
of water of such virtue that by tasting one drop of it they were cured
of their hurts and wounds in an instant and left as sound as if they
had not received any damage whatever. But in case this should not
occur, the knights of old took care to see that their squires were
provided with money and other requisites, such as lint and ointments
for healing purposes; and when it happened that knights had no squires
(which was rarely and seldom the case) they themselves carried
everything in cunning saddle-bags that were hardly seen on the horse's
croup, as if it were something else of more importance, because,
unless for some such reason, carrying saddle-bags was not very
favourably regarded among knights-errant. He therefore advised him
(and, as his godson so soon to be, he might even command him) never
from that time forth to travel without money and the usual
requirements, and he would find the advantage of them when he least
expected it.
  Don Quixote promised to follow his advice scrupulously, and it was
arranged forthwith that he should watch his armour in a large yard
at one side of the inn; so, collecting it all together, Don Quixote
placed it on a trough that stood by the side of a well, and bracing
his buckler on his arm he grasped his lance and began with a stately
air to march up and down in front of the trough, and as he began his
march night began to fall.
  The landlord told all the people who were in the inn about the craze
of his guest, the watching of the armour, and the dubbing ceremony
he contemplated. Full of wonder at so strange a form of madness,
they flocked to see it from a distance, and observed with what
composure he sometimes paced up and down, or sometimes, leaning on his
lance, gazed on his armour without taking his eyes off it for ever
so long; and as the night closed in with a light from the moon so
brilliant that it might vie with his that lent it, everything the
novice knight did was plainly seen by all.
  Meanwhile one of the carriers who were in the inn thought fit to
water his team, and it was necessary to remove Don Quixote's armour as
it lay on the trough; but he seeing the other approach hailed him in a
loud voice, "O thou, whoever thou art, rash knight that comest to
lay hands on the armour of the most valorous errant that ever girt
on sword, have a care what thou dost; touch it not unless thou wouldst
lay down thy life as the penalty of thy rashness." The carrier gave no
heed to these words (and he would have done better to heed them if
he had been heedful of his health), but seizing it by the straps flung
the armour some distance from him. Seeing this, Don Quixote raised his
eyes to heaven, and fixing his thoughts, apparently, upon his lady
Dulcinea, exclaimed, "Aid me, lady mine, in this the first encounter
that presents itself to this breast which thou holdest in subjection;
let not thy favour and protection fail me in this first jeopardy;"
and, with these words and others to the same purpose, dropping his
buckler he lifted his lance with both hands and with it smote such a
blow on the carrier's head that he stretched him on the ground, so
stunned that had he followed it up with a second there would have been
no need of a surgeon to cure him. This done, he picked up his armour
and returned to his beat with the same serenity as before.
  Shortly after this, another, not knowing what had happened (for
the carrier still lay senseless), came with the same object of
giving water to his mules, and was proceeding to remove the armour
in order to clear the trough, when Don Quixote, without uttering a
word or imploring aid from anyone, once more dropped his buckler and
once more lifted his lance, and without actually breaking the second
carrier's head into pieces, made more than three of it, for he laid it
open in four. At the noise all the people of the inn ran to the
spot, and among them the landlord. Seeing this, Don Quixote braced his
buckler on his arm, and with his hand on his sword exclaimed, "O
Lady of Beauty, strength and support of my faint heart, it is time for
thee to turn the eyes of thy greatness on this thy captive knight on
the brink of so mighty an adventure." By this he felt himself so
inspired that he would not have flinched if all the carriers in the
world had assailed him. The comrades of the wounded perceiving the
plight they were in began from a distance to shower stones on Don
Quixote, who screened himself as best he could with his buckler, not
daring to quit the trough and leave his armour unprotected. The
landlord shouted to them to leave him alone, for he had already told
them that he was mad, and as a madman he would not be accountable even
if he killed them all. Still louder shouted Don Quixote, calling
them knaves and traitors, and the lord of the castle, who allowed
knights-errant to be treated in this fashion, a villain and a low-born
knight whom, had he received the order of knighthood, he would call to
account for his treachery. "But of you," he cried, "base and vile
rabble, I make no account; fling, strike, come on, do all ye can
against me, ye shall see what the reward of your folly and insolence
will be." This he uttered with so much spirit and boldness that he
filled his assailants with a terrible fear, and as much for this
reason as at the persuasion of the landlord they left off stoning him,
and he allowed them to carry off the wounded, and with the same
calmness and composure as before resumed the watch over his armour.
  But these freaks of his guest were not much to the liking of the
landlord, so he determined to cut matters short and confer upon him at
once the unlucky order of knighthood before any further misadventure
could occur; so, going up to him, he apologised for the rudeness
which, without his knowledge, had been offered to him by these low
people, who, however, had been well punished for their audacity. As he
had already told him, he said, there was no chapel in the castle,
nor was it needed for what remained to be done, for, as he
understood the ceremonial of the order, the whole point of being
dubbed a knight lay in the accolade and in the slap on the shoulder,
and that could be administered in the middle of a field; and that he
had now done all that was needful as to watching the armour, for all
requirements were satisfied by a watch of two hours only, while he had
been more than four about it. Don Quixote believed it all, and told
him he stood there ready to obey him, and to make an end of it with as
much despatch as possible; for, if he were again attacked, and felt
himself to be dubbed knight, he would not, he thought, leave a soul
alive in the castle, except such as out of respect he might spare at
his bidding.
  Thus warned and menaced, the castellan forthwith brought out a
book in which he used to enter the straw and barley he served out to
the carriers, and, with a lad carrying a candle-end, and the two
damsels already mentioned, he returned to where Don Quixote stood, and
bade him kneel down. Then, reading from his account-book as if he were
repeating some devout prayer, in the middle of his delivery he
raised his hand and gave him a sturdy blow on the neck, and then, with
his own sword, a smart slap on the shoulder, all the while muttering
between his teeth as if he was saying his prayers. Having done this,
he directed one of the ladies to gird on his sword, which she did with
great self-possession and gravity, and not a little was required to
prevent a burst of laughter at each stage of the ceremony; but what
they had already seen of the novice knight's prowess kept their
laughter within bounds. On girding him with the sword the worthy
lady said to him, "May God make your worship a very fortunate
knight, and grant you success in battle." Don Quixote asked her name
in order that he might from that time forward know to whom he was
beholden for the favour he had received, as he meant to confer upon
her some portion of the honour he acquired by the might of his arm.
She answered with great humility that she was called La Tolosa, and
that she was the daughter of a cobbler of Toledo who lived in the
stalls of Sanchobienaya, and that wherever she might be she would
serve and esteem him as her lord. Don Quixote said in reply that she
would do him a favour if thenceforward she assumed the "Don" and
called herself Dona Tolosa. She promised she would, and then the other
buckled on his spur, and with her followed almost the same
conversation as with the lady of the sword. He asked her name, and she
said it was La Molinera, and that she was the daughter of a
respectable miller of Antequera; and of her likewise Don Quixote
requested that she would adopt the "Don" and call herself Dona
Molinera, making offers to her further services and favours.
  Having thus, with hot haste and speed, brought to a conclusion these
never-till-now-seen ceremonies, Don Quixote was on thorns until he saw
himself on horseback sallying forth in quest of adventures; and
saddling Rocinante at once he mounted, and embracing his host, as he
returned thanks for his kindness in knighting him, he addressed him in
language so extraordinary that it is impossible to convey an idea of
it or report it. The landlord, to get him out of the inn, replied with
no less rhetoric though with shorter words, and without calling upon
him to pay the reckoning let him go with a Godspeed.
  CHAPTER IV
  OF WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR KNIGHT WHEN HE LEFT THE INN

  DAY was dawning when Don Quixote quitted the inn, so happy, so
gay, so exhilarated at finding himself now dubbed a knight, that his
joy was like to burst his horse-girths. However, recalling the
advice of his host as to the requisites he ought to carry with him,
especially that referring to money and shirts, he determined to go
home and provide himself with all, and also with a squire, for he
reckoned upon securing a farm-labourer, a neighbour of his, a poor man
with a family, but very well qualified for the office of squire to a
knight. With this object he turned his horse's head towards his
village, and Rocinante, thus reminded of his old quarters, stepped out
so briskly that he hardly seemed to tread the earth.
  He had not gone far, when out of a thicket on his right there seemed
to come feeble cries as of some one in distress, and the instant he
heard them he exclaimed, "Thanks be to heaven for the favour it
accords me, that it so soon offers me an opportunity of fulfilling the
obligation I have undertaken, and gathering the fruit of my
ambition. These cries, no doubt, come from some man or woman in want
of help, and needing my aid and protection;" and wheeling, he turned
Rocinante in the direction whence the cries seemed to proceed. He
had gone but a few paces into the wood, when he saw a mare tied to
an oak, and tied to another, and stripped from the waist upwards, a
youth of about fifteen years of age, from whom the cries came. Nor
were they without cause, for a lusty farmer was flogging him with a
belt and following up every blow with scoldings and commands,
repeating, "Your mouth shut and your eyes open!" while the youth
made answer, "I won't do it again, master mine; by God's passion I
won't do it again, and I'll take more care of the flock another time."
  Seeing what was going on, Don Quixote said in an angry voice,
"Discourteous knight, it ill becomes you to assail one who cannot
defend himself; mount your steed and take your lance" (for there was a
lance leaning against the oak to which the mare was tied), "and I will
make you know that you are behaving as a coward." The farmer, seeing
before him this figure in full armour brandishing a lance over his
head, gave himself up for dead, and made answer meekly, "Sir Knight,
this youth that I am chastising is my servant, employed by me to watch
a flock of sheep that I have hard by, and he is so careless that I
lose one every day, and when I punish him for his carelessness and
knavery he says I do it out of niggardliness, to escape paying him the
wages I owe him, and before God, and on my soul, he lies."
  "Lies before me, base clown!" said Don Quixote. "By the sun that
shines on us I have a mind to run you through with this lance. Pay him
at once without another word; if not, by the God that rules us I
will make an end of you, and annihilate you on the spot; release him
instantly."
  The farmer hung his head, and without a word untied his servant,
of whom Don Quixote asked how much his master owed him.
  He replied, nine months at seven reals a month. Don Quixote added it
up, found that it came to sixty-three reals, and told the farmer to
pay it down immediately, if he did not want to die for it.
  The trembling clown replied that as he lived and by the oath he
had sworn (though he had not sworn any) it was not so much; for
there were to be taken into account and deducted three pairs of
shoes he had given him, and a real for two blood-lettings when he
was sick.
  "All that is very well," said Don Quixote; "but let the shoes and
the blood-lettings stand as a setoff against the blows you have
given him without any cause; for if he spoiled the leather of the
shoes you paid for, you have damaged that of his body, and if the
barber took blood from him when he was sick, you have drawn it when he
was sound; so on that score he owes you nothing."
  "The difficulty is, Sir Knight, that I have no money here; let
Andres come home with me, and I will pay him all, real by real."
  "I go with him!" said the youth. "Nay, God forbid! No, senor, not
for the world; for once alone with me, he would ray me like a Saint
Bartholomew."
  "He will do nothing of the kind," said Don Quixote; "I have only
to command, and he will obey me; and as he has sworn to me by the
order of knighthood which he has received, I leave him free, and I
guarantee the payment."
  "Consider what you are saying, senor," said the youth; "this
master of mine is not a knight, nor has he received any order of
knighthood; for he is Juan Haldudo the Rich, of Quintanar."
  "That matters little," replied Don Quixote; "there may be Haldudos
knights; moreover, everyone is the son of his works."
  "That is true," said Andres; "but this master of mine- of what works
is he the son, when he refuses me the wages of my sweat and labour?"
  "I do not refuse, brother Andres," said the farmer, "be good
enough to come along with me, and I swear by all the orders of
knighthood there are in the world to pay you as I have agreed, real by
real, and perfumed."
  "For the perfumery I excuse you," said Don Quixote; "give it to
him in reals, and I shall be satisfied; and see that you do as you
have sworn; if not, by the same oath I swear to come back and hunt you
out and punish you; and I shall find you though you should lie
closer than a lizard. And if you desire to know who it is lays this
command upon you, that you be more firmly bound to obey it, know
that I am the valorous Don Quixote of La Mancha, the undoer of
wrongs and injustices; and so, God be with you, and keep in mind
what you have promised and sworn under those penalties that have
been already declared to you."
  So saying, he gave Rocinante the spur and was soon out of reach. The
farmer followed him with his eyes, and when he saw that he had cleared
the wood and was no longer in sight, he turned to his boy Andres,
and said, "Come here, my son, I want to pay you what I owe you, as
that undoer of wrongs has commanded me."
  "My oath on it," said Andres, "your worship will be well advised
to obey the command of that good knight- may he live a thousand years-
for, as he is a valiant and just judge, by Roque, if you do not pay
me, he will come back and do as he said."
  "My oath on it, too," said the farmer; "but as I have a strong
affection for you, I want to add to the debt in order to add to the
payment;" and seizing him by the arm, he tied him up again, and gave
him such a flogging that he left him for dead.
  "Now, Master Andres," said the farmer, "call on the undoer of
wrongs; you will find he won't undo that, though I am not sure that
I have quite done with you, for I have a good mind to flay you alive."
But at last he untied him, and gave him leave to go look for his judge
in order to put the sentence pronounced into execution.
  Andres went off rather down in the mouth, swearing he would go to
look for the valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha and tell him exactly
what had happened, and that all would have to be repaid him sevenfold;
but for all that, he went off weeping, while his master stood
laughing.
  Thus did the valiant Don Quixote right that wrong, and, thoroughly
satisfied with what had taken place, as he considered he had made a
very happy and noble beginning with his knighthood, he took the road
towards his village in perfect self-content, saying in a low voice,
"Well mayest thou this day call thyself fortunate above all on
earth, O Dulcinea del Toboso, fairest of the fair! since it has fallen
to thy lot to hold subject and submissive to thy full will and
pleasure a knight so renowned as is and will be Don Quixote of La
Mancha, who, as all the world knows, yesterday received the order of
knighthood, and hath to-day righted the greatest wrong and grievance
that ever injustice conceived and cruelty perpetrated: who hath to-day
plucked the rod from the hand of yonder ruthless oppressor so wantonly
lashing that tender child."
  He now came to a road branching in four directions, and
immediately he was reminded of those cross-roads where
knights-errant used to stop to consider which road they should take.
In imitation of them he halted for a while, and after having deeply
considered it, he gave Rocinante his head, submitting his own will
to that of his hack, who followed out his first intention, which was
to make straight for his own stable. After he had gone about two miles
Don Quixote perceived a large party of people, who, as afterwards
appeared, were some Toledo traders, on their way to buy silk at
Murcia. There were six of them coming along under their sunshades,
with four servants mounted, and three muleteers on foot. Scarcely
had Don Quixote descried them when the fancy possessed him that this
must be some new adventure; and to help him to imitate as far as he
could those passages he had read of in his books, here seemed to
come one made on purpose, which he resolved to attempt. So with a
lofty bearing and determination he fixed himself firmly in his
stirrups, got his lance ready, brought his buckler before his
breast, and planting himself in the middle of the road, stood
waiting the approach of these knights-errant, for such he now
considered and held them to be; and when they had come near enough
to see and hear, he exclaimed with a haughty gesture, "All the world
stand, unless all the world confess that in all the world there is
no maiden fairer than the Empress of La Mancha, the peerless
Dulcinea del Toboso."
  The traders halted at the sound of this language and the sight of
the strange figure that uttered it, and from both figure and
language at once guessed the craze of their owner; they wished,
however, to learn quietly what was the object of this confession
that was demanded of them, and one of them, who was rather fond of a
joke and was very sharp-witted, said to him, "Sir Knight, we do not
know who this good lady is that you speak of; show her to us, for,
if she be of such beauty as you suggest, with all our hearts and
without any pressure we will confess the truth that is on your part
required of us."
  "If I were to show her to you," replied Don Quixote, "what merit
would you have in confessing a truth so manifest? The essential
point is that without seeing her you must believe, confess, affirm,
swear, and defend it; else ye have to do with me in battle,
ill-conditioned, arrogant rabble that ye are; and come ye on, one by
one as the order of knighthood requires, or all together as is the
custom and vile usage of your breed, here do I bide and await you
relying on the justice of the cause I maintain."
  "Sir Knight," replied the trader, "I entreat your worship in the
name of this present company of princes, that, to save us from
charging our consciences with the confession of a thing we have
never seen or heard of, and one moreover so much to the prejudice of
the Empresses and Queens of the Alcarria and Estremadura, your worship
will be pleased to show us some portrait of this lady, though it be no
bigger than a grain of wheat; for by the thread one gets at the
ball, and in this way we shall be satisfied and easy, and you will
be content and pleased; nay, I believe we are already so far agreed
with you that even though her portrait should show her blind of one
eye, and distilling vermilion and sulphur from the other, we would
nevertheless, to gratify your worship, say all in her favour that
you desire."
  "She distils nothing of the kind, vile rabble," said Don Quixote,
burning with rage, "nothing of the kind, I say, only ambergris and
civet in cotton; nor is she one-eyed or humpbacked, but straighter
than a Guadarrama spindle: but ye must pay for the blasphemy ye have
uttered against beauty like that of my lady."
  And so saying, he charged with levelled lance against the one who
had spoken, with such fury and fierceness that, if luck had not
contrived that Rocinante should stumble midway and come down, it would
have gone hard with the rash trader. Down went Rocinante, and over
went his master, rolling along the ground for some distance; and
when he tried to rise he was unable, so encumbered was he with
lance, buckler, spurs, helmet, and the weight of his old armour; and
all the while he was struggling to get up he kept saying, "Fly not,
cowards and caitiffs! stay, for not by my fault, but my horse's, am
I stretched here."
  One of the muleteers in attendance, who could not have had much good
nature in him, hearing the poor prostrate man blustering in this
style, was unable to refrain from giving him an answer on his ribs;
and coming up to him he seized his lance, and having broken it in
pieces, with one of them he began so to belabour our Don Quixote that,
notwithstanding and in spite of his armour, he milled him like a
measure of wheat. His masters called out not to lay on so hard and
to leave him alone, but the muleteers blood was up, and he did not
care to drop the game until he had vented the rest of his wrath, and
gathering up the remaining fragments of the lance he finished with a
discharge upon the unhappy victim, who all through the storm of sticks
that rained on him never ceased threatening heaven, and earth, and the
brigands, for such they seemed to him. At last the muleteer was tired,
and the traders continued their journey, taking with them matter for
talk about the poor fellow who had been cudgelled. He when he found
himself alone made another effort to rise; but if he was unable when
whole and sound, how was he to rise after having been thrashed and
well-nigh knocked to pieces? And yet he esteemed himself fortunate, as
it seemed to him that this was a regular knight-errant's mishap, and
entirely, he considered, the fault of his horse. However, battered
in body as he was, to rise was beyond his power.
  CHAPTER V
  IN WHICH THE NARRATIVE OF OUR KNIGHT'S MISHAP IS CONTINUED

  FINDING, then, that, in fact he could not move, he thought himself
of having recourse to his usual remedy, which was to think of some
passage in his books, and his craze brought to his mind that about
Baldwin and the Marquis of Mantua, when Carloto left him wounded on
the mountain side, a story known by heart by the children, not
forgotten by the young men, and lauded and even believed by the old
folk; and for all that not a whit truer than the miracles of
Mahomet. This seemed to him to fit exactly the case in which he
found himself, so, making a show of severe suffering, he began to roll
on the ground and with feeble breath repeat the very words which the
wounded knight of the wood is said to have uttered:

          Where art thou, lady mine, that thou
            My sorrow dost not rue?
          Thou canst not know it, lady mine,
            Or else thou art untrue.

And so he went on with the ballad as far as the lines:

          O noble Marquis of Mantua,
            My Uncle and liege lord!

  As chance would have it, when he had got to this line there happened
to come by a peasant from his own village, a neighbour of his, who had
been with a load of wheat to the mill, and he, seeing the man
stretched there, came up to him and asked him who he was and what
was the matter with him that he complained so dolefully.
  Don Quixote was firmly persuaded that this was the Marquis of
Mantua, his uncle, so the only answer he made was to go on with his
ballad, in which he told the tale of his misfortune, and of the
loves of the Emperor's son and his wife all exactly as the ballad
sings it.
  The peasant stood amazed at hearing such nonsense, and relieving him
of the visor, already battered to pieces by blows, he wiped his
face, which was covered with dust, and as soon as he had done so he
recognised him and said, "Senor Quixada" (for so he appears to have
been called when he was in his senses and had not yet changed from a
quiet country gentleman into a knight-errant), "who has brought your
worship to this pass?" But to all questions the other only went on
with his ballad.
  Seeing this, the good man removed as well as he could his
breastplate and backpiece to see if he had any wound, but he could
perceive no blood nor any mark whatever. He then contrived to raise
him from the ground, and with no little difficulty hoisted him upon
his ass, which seemed to him to be the easiest mount for him; and
collecting the arms, even to the splinters of the lance, he tied
them on Rocinante, and leading him by the bridle and the ass by the
halter he took the road for the village, very sad to hear what
absurd stuff Don Quixote was talking. Nor was Don Quixote less so, for
what with blows and bruises he could not sit upright on the ass, and
from time to time he sent up sighs to heaven, so that once more he
drove the peasant to ask what ailed him. And it could have been only
the devil himself that put into his head tales to match his own
adventures, for now, forgetting Baldwin, he bethought himself of the
Moor Abindarraez, when the Alcaide of Antequera, Rodrigo de Narvaez,
took him prisoner and carried him away to his castle; so that when the
peasant again asked him how he was and what ailed him, he gave him for
reply the same words and phrases that the captive Abindarraez gave
to Rodrigo de Narvaez, just as he had read the story in the "Diana" of
Jorge de Montemayor where it is written, applying it to his own case
so aptly that the peasant went along cursing his fate that he had to
listen to such a lot of nonsense; from which, however, he came to
the conclusion that his neighbour was mad, and so made all haste to
reach the village to escape the wearisomeness of this harangue of
Don Quixote's; who, at the end of it, said, "Senor Don Rodrigo de
Narvaez, your worship must know that this fair Xarifa I have mentioned
is now the lovely Dulcinea del Toboso, for whom I have done, am doing,
and will do the most famous deeds of chivalry that in this world
have been seen, are to be seen, or ever shall be seen."
  To this the peasant answered, "Senor- sinner that I am!- cannot your
worship see that I am not Don Rodrigo de Narvaez nor the Marquis of
Mantua, but Pedro Alonso your neighbour, and that your worship is
neither Baldwin nor Abindarraez, but the worthy gentleman Senor
Quixada?"
  "I know who I am," replied Don Quixote, "and I know that I may be
not only those I have named, but all the Twelve Peers of France and
even all the Nine Worthies, since my achievements surpass all that
they have done all together and each of them on his own account."
  With this talk and more of the same kind they reached the village
just as night was beginning to fall, but the peasant waited until it
was a little later that the belaboured gentleman might not be seen
riding in such a miserable trim. When it was what seemed to him the
proper time he entered the village and went to Don Quixote's house,
which he found all in confusion, and there were the curate and the
village barber, who were great friends of Don Quixote, and his
housekeeper was saying to them in a loud voice, "What does your
worship think can have befallen my master, Senor Licentiate Pero
Perez?" for so the curate was called; "it is three days now since
anything has been seen of him, or the hack, or the buckler, lance,
or armour. Miserable me! I am certain of it, and it is as true as that
I was born to die, that these accursed books of chivalry he has, and
has got into the way of reading so constantly, have upset his
reason; for now I remember having often heard him saying to himself
that he would turn knight-errant and go all over the world in quest of
adventures. To the devil and Barabbas with such books, that have
brought to ruin in this way the finest understanding there was in
all La Mancha!"
  The niece said the same, and, more: "You must know, Master
Nicholas"- for that was the name of the barber- "it was often my
uncle's way to stay two days and nights together poring over these
unholy books of misventures, after which he would fling the book
away and snatch up his sword and fall to slashing the walls; and
when he was tired out he would say he had killed four giants like four
towers; and the sweat that flowed from him when he was weary he said
was the blood of the wounds he had received in battle; and then he
would drink a great jug of cold water and become calm and quiet,
saying that this water was a most precious potion which the sage
Esquife, a great magician and friend of his, had brought him. But I
take all the blame upon myself for never having told your worships
of my uncle's vagaries, that you might put a stop to them before
things had come to this pass, and burn all these accursed books- for
he has a great number- that richly deserve to be burned like
heretics."
  "So say I too," said the curate, "and by my faith to-morrow shall
not pass without public judgment upon them, and may they be
condemned to the flames lest they lead those that read to behave as my
good friend seems to have behaved."
  All this the peasant heard, and from it he understood at last what
was the matter with his neighbour, so he began calling aloud, "Open,
your worships, to Senor Baldwin and to Senor the Marquis of Mantua,
who comes badly wounded, and to Senor Abindarraez, the Moor, whom
the valiant Rodrigo de Narvaez, the Alcaide of Antequera, brings
captive."
  At these words they all hurried out, and when they recognised
their friend, master, and uncle, who had not yet dismounted from the
ass because he could not, they ran to embrace him.
  "Hold!" said he, "for I am badly wounded through my horse's fault;
carry me to bed, and if possible send for the wise Urganda to cure and
see to my wounds."
  "See there! plague on it!" cried the housekeeper at this: "did not
my heart tell the truth as to which foot my master went lame of? To
bed with your worship at once, and we will contrive to cure you here
without fetching that Hurgada. A curse I say once more, and a
hundred times more, on those books of chivalry that have brought
your worship to such a pass."
  They carried him to bed at once, and after searching for his
wounds could find none, but he said they were all bruises from
having had a severe fall with his horse Rocinante when in combat
with ten giants, the biggest and the boldest to be found on earth.
  "So, so!" said the curate, "are there giants in the dance? By the
sign of the Cross I will burn them to-morrow before the day over."
  They put a host of questions to Don Quixote, but his only answer
to all was- give him something to eat, and leave him to sleep, for
that was what he needed most. They did so, and the curate questioned
the peasant at great length as to how he had found Don Quixote. He
told him, and the nonsense he had talked when found and on the way
home, all which made the licentiate the more eager to do what he did
the next day, which was to summon his friend the barber, Master
Nicholas, and go with him to Don Quixote's house.
  CHAPTER VI
  OF THE DIVERTING AND IMPORTANT SCRUTINY WHICH THE CURATE AND THE
BARBER MADE IN THE LIBRARY OF OUR INGENIOUS GENTLEMAN

  HE WAS still sleeping; so the curate asked the niece for the keys of
the room where the books, the authors of all the mischief, were, and
right willingly she gave them. They all went in, the housekeeper
with them, and found more than a hundred volumes of big books very
well bound, and some other small ones. The moment the housekeeper
saw them she turned about and ran out of the room, and came back
immediately with a saucer of holy water and a sprinkler, saying,
"Here, your worship, senor licentiate, sprinkle this room; don't leave
any magician of the many there are in these books to bewitch us in
revenge for our design of banishing them from the world."
  The simplicity of the housekeeper made the licentiate laugh, and
he directed the barber to give him the books one by one to see what
they were about, as there might be some to be found among them that
did not deserve the penalty of fire.
  "No," said the niece, "there is no reason for showing mercy to any
of them; they have every one of them done mischief; better fling
them out of the window into the court and make a pile of them and
set fire to them; or else carry them into the yard, and there a
bonfire can be made without the smoke giving any annoyance." The
housekeeper said the same, so eager were they both for the slaughter
of those innocents, but the curate would not agree to it without first
reading at any rate the titles.
  The first that Master Nicholas put into his hand was "The four books
of Amadis of Gaul." "This seems a mysterious thing," said the
curate, "for, as I have heard say, this was the first book of chivalry
printed in Spain, and from this all the others derive their birth
and origin; so it seems to me that we ought inexorably to condemn it
to the flames as the founder of so vile a sect."
  "Nay, sir," said the barber, "I too, have heard say that this is the
best of all the books of this kind that have been written, and so,
as something singular in its line, it ought to be pardoned."
  "True," said the curate; "and for that reason let its life be spared
for the present. Let us see that other which is next to it."
  "It is," said the barber, "the 'Sergas de Esplandian,' the lawful
son of Amadis of Gaul."
  "Then verily," said the curate, "the merit of the father must not be
put down to the account of the son. Take it, mistress housekeeper;
open the window and fling it into the yard and lay the foundation of
the pile for the bonfire we are to make."
  The housekeeper obeyed with great satisfaction, and the worthy
"Esplandian" went flying into the yard to await with all patience
the fire that was in store for him.
  "Proceed," said the curate.
  "This that comes next," said the barber, "is 'Amadis of Greece,'
and, indeed, I believe all those on this side are of the same Amadis
lineage."
  "Then to the yard with the whole of them," said the curate; "for
to have the burning of Queen Pintiquiniestra, and the shepherd Darinel
and his eclogues, and the bedevilled and involved discourses of his
author, I would burn with them the father who begot me if he were
going about in the guise of a knight-errant."
  "I am of the same mind," said the barber.
  "And so am I," added the niece.
  "In that case," said the housekeeper, "here, into the yard with
them!"
  They were handed to her, and as there were many of them, she
spared herself the staircase, and flung them down out of the window.
  "Who is that tub there?" said the curate.
  "This," said the barber, "is 'Don Olivante de Laura.'"
  "The author of that book," said the curate, "was the same that wrote
'The Garden of Flowers,' and truly there is no deciding which of the
two books is the more truthful, or, to put it better, the less
lying; all I can say is, send this one into the yard for a
swaggering fool."
  "This that follows is 'Florismarte of Hircania,'" said the barber.
  "Senor Florismarte here?" said the curate; "then by my faith he must
take up his quarters in the yard, in spite of his marvellous birth and
visionary adventures, for the stiffness and dryness of his style
deserve nothing else; into the yard with him and the other, mistress
housekeeper."
  "With all my heart, senor," said she, and executed the order with
great delight.
  "This," said the barber, "is The Knight Platir.'"
  "An old book that," said the curate, "but I find no reason for
clemency in it; send it after the others without appeal;" which was
done.
  Another book was opened, and they saw it was entitled, "The Knight
of the Cross."
  "For the sake of the holy name this book has," said the curate, "its
ignorance might be excused; but then, they say, 'behind the cross
there's the devil; to the fire with it."
  Taking down another book, the barber said, "This is 'The Mirror of
Chivalry.'"
  "I know his worship," said the curate; "that is where Senor
Reinaldos of Montalvan figures with his friends and comrades,
greater thieves than Cacus, and the Twelve Peers of France with the
veracious historian Turpin; however, I am not for condemning them to
more than perpetual banishment, because, at any rate, they have some
share in the invention of the famous Matteo Boiardo, whence too the
Christian poet Ludovico Ariosto wove his web, to whom, if I find him
here, and speaking any language but his own, I shall show no respect
whatever; but if he speaks his own tongue I will put him upon my
head."
  "Well, I have him in Italian," said the barber, "but I do not
understand him."
  "Nor would it be well that you should understand him," said the
curate, "and on that score we might have excused the Captain if he had
not brought him into Spain and turned him into Castilian. He robbed
him of a great deal of his natural force, and so do all those who
try to turn books written in verse into another language, for, with
all the pains they take and all the cleverness they show, they never
can reach the level of the originals as they were first produced. In
short, I say that this book, and all that may be found treating of
those French affairs, should be thrown into or deposited in some dry
well, until after more consideration it is settled what is to be
done with them; excepting always one 'Bernardo del Carpio' that is
going about, and another called 'Roncesvalles;' for these, if they
come into my hands, shall pass at once into those of the
housekeeper, and from hers into the fire without any reprieve."
  To all this the barber gave his assent, and looked upon it as
right and proper, being persuaded that the curate was so staunch to
the Faith and loyal to the Truth that he would not for the world say
anything opposed to them. Opening another book he saw it was "Palmerin
de Oliva," and beside it was another called "Palmerin of England,"
seeing which the licentiate said, "Let the Olive be made firewood of
at once and burned until no ashes even are left; and let that Palm
of England be kept and preserved as a thing that stands alone, and let
such another case be made for it as that which Alexander found among
the spoils of Darius and set aside for the safe keeping of the works
of the poet Homer. This book, gossip, is of authority for two reasons,
first because it is very good, and secondly because it is said to have
been written by a wise and witty king of Portugal. All the
adventures at the Castle of Miraguarda are excellent and of
admirable contrivance, and the language is polished and clear,
studying and observing the style befitting the speaker with
propriety and judgment. So then, provided it seems good to you, Master
Nicholas, I say let this and 'Amadis of Gaul' be remitted the
penalty of fire, and as for all the rest, let them perish without
further question or query."
  "Nay, gossip," said the barber, "for this that I have here is the
famous 'Don Belianis.'"
  "Well," said the curate, "that and the second, third, and fourth
parts all stand in need of a little rhubarb to purge their excess of
bile, and they must be cleared of all that stuff about the Castle of
Fame and other greater affectations, to which end let them be
allowed the over-seas term, and, according as they mend, so shall
mercy or justice be meted out to them; and in the mean time, gossip,
do you keep them in your house and let no one read them."
  "With all my heart," said the barber; and not caring to tire himself
with reading more books of chivalry, he told the housekeeper to take
all the big ones and throw them into the yard. It was not said to
one dull or deaf, but to one who enjoyed burning them more than
weaving the broadest and finest web that could be; and seizing about
eight at a time, she flung them out of the window.
  In carrying so many together she let one fall at the feet of the
barber, who took it up, curious to know whose it was, and found it
said, "History of the Famous Knight, Tirante el Blanco."
  "God bless me!" said the curate with a shout, "'Tirante el Blanco'
here! Hand it over, gossip, for in it I reckon I have found a treasury
of enjoyment and a mine of recreation. Here is Don Kyrieleison of
Montalvan, a valiant knight, and his brother Thomas of Montalvan,
and the knight Fonseca, with the battle the bold Tirante fought with
the mastiff, and the witticisms of the damsel Placerdemivida, and
the loves and wiles of the widow Reposada, and the empress in love
with the squire Hipolito- in truth, gossip, by right of its style it
is the best book in the world. Here knights eat and sleep, and die
in their beds, and make their wills before dying, and a great deal
more of which there is nothing in all the other books. Nevertheless, I
say he who wrote it, for deliberately composing such fooleries,
deserves to be sent to the galleys for life. Take it home with you and
read it, and you will see that what I have said is true."
  "As you will," said the barber; "but what are we to do with these
little books that are left?"
  "These must be, not chivalry, but poetry," said the curate; and
opening one he saw it was the "Diana" of Jorge de Montemayor, and,
supposing all the others to be of the same sort, "these," he said, "do
not deserve to be burned like the others, for they neither do nor
can do the mischief the books of chivalry have done, being books of
entertainment that can hurt no one."
  "Ah, senor!" said the niece, "your worship had better order these to
be burned as well as the others; for it would be no wonder if, after
being cured of his chivalry disorder, my uncle, by reading these, took
a fancy to turn shepherd and range the woods and fields singing and
piping; or, what would be still worse, to turn poet, which they say is
an incurable and infectious malady."
  "The damsel is right," said the curate, "and it will be well to
put this stumbling-block and temptation out of our friend's way. To
begin, then, with the 'Diana' of Montemayor. I am of opinion it should
not be burned, but that it should be cleared of all that about the
sage Felicia and the magic water, and of almost all the longer
pieces of verse: let it keep, and welcome, its prose and the honour of
being the first of books of the kind."
  "This that comes next," said the barber, "is the 'Diana,' entitled
the 'Second Part, by the Salamancan,' and this other has the same
title, and its author is Gil Polo."
  "As for that of the Salamancan," replied the curate, "let it go to
swell the number of the condemned in the yard, and let Gil Polo's be
preserved as if it came from Apollo himself: but get on, gossip, and
make haste, for it is growing late."
  "This book," said the barber, opening another, "is the ten books
of the 'Fortune of Love,' written by Antonio de Lofraso, a Sardinian
poet."
  "By the orders I have received," said the curate, "since Apollo
has been Apollo, and the Muses have been Muses, and poets have been
poets, so droll and absurd a book as this has never been written,
and in its way it is the best and the most singular of all of this
species that have as yet appeared, and he who has not read it may be
sure he has never read what is delightful. Give it here, gossip, for I
make more account of having found it than if they had given me a
cassock of Florence stuff."
  He put it aside with extreme satisfaction, and the barber went on,
"These that come next are 'The Shepherd of Iberia,' 'Nymphs of
Henares,' and 'The Enlightenment of Jealousy.'"
  "Then all we have to do," said the curate, "is to hand them over
to the secular arm of the housekeeper, and ask me not why, or we shall
never have done."
  "This next is the 'Pastor de Filida.'"
  "No Pastor that," said the curate, "but a highly polished
courtier; let it be preserved as a precious jewel."
  "This large one here," said the barber, "is called 'The Treasury
of various Poems.'"
  "If there were not so many of them," said the curate, "they would be
more relished: this book must be weeded and cleansed of certain
vulgarities which it has with its excellences; let it be preserved
because the author is a friend of mine, and out of respect for other
more heroic and loftier works that he has written."
  "This," continued the barber, "is the 'Cancionero' of Lopez de
Maldonado."
  "The author of that book, too," said the curate, "is a great
friend of mine, and his verses from his own mouth are the admiration
of all who hear them, for such is the sweetness of his voice that he
enchants when he chants them: it gives rather too much of its
eclogues, but what is good was never yet plentiful: let it be kept
with those that have been set apart. But what book is that next it?"
  "The 'Galatea' of Miguel de Cervantes," said the barber.
  "That Cervantes has been for many years a great friend of mine,
and to my knowledge he has had more experience in reverses than in
verses. His book has some good invention in it, it presents us with
something but brings nothing to a conclusion: we must wait for the
Second Part it promises: perhaps with amendment it may succeed in
winning the full measure of grace that is now denied it; and in the
mean time do you, senor gossip, keep it shut up in your own quarters."
  "Very good," said the barber; "and here come three together, the
'Araucana' of Don Alonso de Ercilla, the 'Austriada' of Juan Rufo,
Justice of Cordova, and the 'Montserrate' of Christobal de Virues, the
Valencian poet."
  "These three books," said the curate, "are the best that have been
written in Castilian in heroic verse, and they may compare with the
most famous of Italy; let them be preserved as the richest treasures
of poetry that Spain possesses."
  The curate was tired and would not look into any more books, and
so he decided that, "contents uncertified," all the rest should be
burned; but just then the barber held open one, called "The Tears of
Angelica."
  "I should have shed tears myself," said the curate when he heard the
title, "had I ordered that book to be burned, for its author was one
of the famous poets of the world, not to say of Spain, and was very
happy in the translation of some of Ovid's fables."
  CHAPTER VII
  OF THE SECOND SALLY OF OUR WORTHY KNIGHT DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA

   AT this instant Don Quixote began shouting out, "Here, here,
valiant knights! here is need for you to put forth the might of your
strong arms, for they of the Court are gaining the mastery in the
tourney!" Called away by this noise and outcry, they proceeded no
farther with the scrutiny of the remaining books, and so it is thought
that "The Carolea," "The Lion of Spain," and "The Deeds of the
Emperor," written by Don Luis de Avila, went to the fire unseen and
unheard; for no doubt they were among those that remained, and perhaps
if the curate had seen them they would not have undergone so severe
a sentence.
  When they reached Don Quixote he was already out of bed, and was
still shouting and raving, and slashing and cutting all round, as wide
awake as if he had never slept.
  They closed with him and by force got him back to bed, and when he
had become a little calm, addressing the curate, he said to him, "Of a
truth, Senor Archbishop Turpin, it is a great disgrace for us who call
ourselves the Twelve Peers, so carelessly to allow the knights of
the Court to gain the victory in this tourney, we the adventurers
having carried off the honour on the three former days."
  "Hush, gossip," said the curate; "please God, the luck may turn, and
what is lost to-day may be won to-morrow; for the present let your
worship have a care of your health, for it seems to me that you are
over-fatigued, if not badly wounded."
  "Wounded no," said Don Quixote, "but bruised and battered no
doubt, for that bastard Don Roland has cudgelled me with the trunk
of an oak tree, and all for envy, because he sees that I alone rival
him in his achievements. But I should not call myself Reinaldos of
Montalvan did he not pay me for it in spite of all his enchantments as
soon as I rise from this bed. For the present let them bring me
something to eat, for that, I feel, is what will be more to my
purpose, and leave it to me to avenge myself."
  They did as he wished; they gave him something to eat, and once more
he fell asleep, leaving them marvelling at his madness.
  That night the housekeeper burned to ashes all the books that were
in the yard and in the whole house; and some must have been consumed
that deserved preservation in everlasting archives, but their fate and
the laziness of the examiner did not permit it, and so in them was
verified the proverb that the innocent suffer for the guilty.
  One of the remedies which the curate and the barber immediately
applied to their friend's disorder was to wall up and plaster the room
where the books were, so that when he got up he should not find them
(possibly the cause being removed the effect might cease), and they
might say that a magician had carried them off, room and all; and this
was done with all despatch. Two days later Don Quixote got up, and the
first thing he did was to go and look at his books, and not finding
the room where he had left it, he wandered from side to side looking
for it. He came to the place where the door used to be, and tried it
with his hands, and turned and twisted his eyes in every direction
without saying a word; but after a good while he asked his housekeeper
whereabouts was the room that held his books.
  The housekeeper, who had been already well instructed in what she
was to answer, said, "What room or what nothing is it that your
worship is looking for? There are neither room nor books in this house
now, for the devil himself has carried all away."
  "It was not the devil," said the niece, "but a magician who came
on a cloud one night after the day your worship left this, and
dismounting from a serpent that he rode he entered the room, and
what he did there I know not, but after a little while he made off,
flying through the roof, and left the house full of smoke; and when we
went to see what he had done we saw neither book nor room: but we
remember very well, the housekeeper and I, that on leaving, the old
villain said in a loud voice that, for a private grudge he owed the
owner of the books and the room, he had done mischief in that house
that would be discovered by-and-by: he said too that his name was
the Sage Munaton."
  "He must have said Friston," said Don Quixote.
  "I don't know whether he called himself Friston or Friton," said the
housekeeper, "I only know that his name ended with 'ton.'"
  "So it does," said Don Quixote, "and he is a sage magician, a
great enemy of mine, who has a spite against me because he knows by
his arts and lore that in process of time I am to engage in single
combat with a knight whom he befriends and that I am to conquer, and
he will be unable to prevent it; and for this reason he endeavours
to do me all the ill turns that he can; but I promise him it will be
hard for him to oppose or avoid what is decreed by Heaven."
  "Who doubts that?" said the niece; "but, uncle, who mixes you up
in these quarrels? Would it not be better to remain at peace in your
own house instead of roaming the world looking for better bread than
ever came of wheat, never reflecting that many go for wool and come
back shorn?"
  "Oh, niece of mine," replied Don Quixote, "how much astray art
thou in thy reckoning: ere they shear me I shall have plucked away and
stripped off the beards of all who dare to touch only the tip of a
hair of mine."
  The two were unwilling to make any further answer, as they saw
that his anger was kindling.
  In short, then, he remained at home fifteen days very quietly
without showing any signs of a desire to take up with his former
delusions, and during this time he held lively discussions with his
two gossips, the curate and the barber, on the point he maintained,
that knights-errant were what the world stood most in need of, and
that in him was to be accomplished the revival of knight-errantry. The
curate sometimes contradicted him, sometimes agreed with him, for if
he had not observed this precaution he would have been unable to bring
him to reason.
  Meanwhile Don Quixote worked upon a farm labourer, a neighbour of
his, an honest man (if indeed that title can be given to him who is
poor), but with very little wit in his pate. In a word, he so talked
him over, and with such persuasions and promises, that the poor
clown made up his mind to sally forth with him and serve him as
esquire. Don Quixote, among other things, told him he ought to be
ready to go with him gladly, because any moment an adventure might
occur that might win an island in the twinkling of an eye and leave
him governor of it. On these and the like promises Sancho Panza (for
so the labourer was called) left wife and children, and engaged
himself as esquire to his neighbour. Don Quixote next set about
getting some money; and selling one thing and pawning another, and
making a bad bargain in every case, he got together a fair sum. He
provided himself with a buckler, which he begged as a loan from a
friend, and, restoring his battered helmet as best he could, he warned
his squire Sancho of the day and hour he meant to set out, that he
might provide himself with what he thought most needful. Above all, he
charged him to take alforjas with him. The other said he would, and
that he meant to take also a very good ass he had, as he was not
much given to going on foot. About the ass, Don Quixote hesitated a
little, trying whether he could call to mind any knight-errant
taking with him an esquire mounted on ass-back, but no instance
occurred to his memory. For all that, however, he determined to take
him, intending to furnish him with a more honourable mount when a
chance of it presented itself, by appropriating the horse of the first
discourteous knight he encountered. Himself he provided with shirts
and such other things as he could, according to the advice the host
had given him; all which being done, without taking leave, Sancho
Panza of his wife and children, or Don Quixote of his housekeeper
and niece, they sallied forth unseen by anybody from the village one
night, and made such good way in the course of it that by daylight
they held themselves safe from discovery, even should search be made
for them.
  Sancho rode on his ass like a patriarch, with his alforjas and bota,
and longing to see himself soon governor of the island his master
had promised him. Don Quixote decided upon taking the same route and
road he had taken on his first journey, that over the Campo de
Montiel, which he travelled with less discomfort than on the last
occasion, for, as it was early morning and the rays of the sun fell on
them obliquely, the heat did not distress them.
  And now said Sancho Panza to his master, "Your worship will take
care, Senor Knight-errant, not to forget about the island you have
promised me, for be it ever so big I'll be equal to governing it."
  To which Don Quixote replied, "Thou must know, friend Sancho
Panza, that it was a practice very much in vogue with the
knights-errant of old to make their squires governors of the islands
or kingdoms they won, and I am determined that there shall be no
failure on my part in so liberal a custom; on the contrary, I mean
to improve upon it, for they sometimes, and perhaps most frequently,
waited until their squires were old, and then when they had had enough
of service and hard days and worse nights, they gave them some title
or other, of count, or at the most marquis, of some valley or province
more or less; but if thou livest and I live, it may well be that
before six days are over, I may have won some kingdom that has
others dependent upon it, which will be just the thing to enable
thee to be crowned king of one of them. Nor needst thou count this
wonderful, for things and chances fall to the lot of such knights in
ways so unexampled and unexpected that I might easily give thee even
more than I promise thee."
  "In that case," said Sancho Panza, "if I should become a king by one
of those miracles your worship speaks of, even Juana Gutierrez, my old
woman, would come to be queen and my children infantes."
  "Well, who doubts it?" said Don Quixote.
  "I doubt it," replied Sancho Panza, "because for my part I am
persuaded that though God should shower down kingdoms upon earth,
not one of them would fit the head of Mari Gutierrez. Let me tell you,
senor, she is not worth two maravedis for a queen; countess will fit
her better, and that only with God's help."
  "Leave it to God, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "for he will give
her what suits her best; but do not undervalue thyself so much as to
come to be content with anything less than being governor of a
province."
  "I will not, senor," answered Sancho, "specially as I have a man
of such quality for a master in your worship, who will know how to
give me all that will be suitable for me and that I can bear."
  CHAPTER VIII
  OF THE GOOD FORTUNE WHICH THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE HAD IN THE
TERRIBLE AND UNDREAMT-OF ADVENTURE OF THE WINDMILLS, WITH OTHER
OCCURRENCES WORTHY TO BE FITLY RECORDED

  AT THIS point they came in sight of thirty forty windmills that
there are on plain, and as soon as Don Quixote saw them he said to his
squire, "Fortune is arranging matters for us better than we could have
shaped our desires ourselves, for look there, friend Sancho Panza,
where thirty or more monstrous giants present themselves, all of
whom I mean to engage in battle and slay, and with whose spoils we
shall begin to make our fortunes; for this is righteous warfare, and
it is God's good service to sweep so evil a breed from off the face of
the earth."
  "What giants?" said Sancho Panza.
  "Those thou seest there," answered his master, "with the long
arms, and some have them nearly two leagues long."
  "Look, your worship," said Sancho; "what we see there are not giants
but windmills, and what seem to be their arms are the sails that
turned by the wind make the millstone go."
  "It is easy to see," replied Don Quixote, "that thou art not used to
this business of adventures; those are giants; and if thou art afraid,
away with thee out of this and betake thyself to prayer while I engage
them in fierce and unequal combat."
  So saying, he gave the spur to his steed Rocinante, heedless of
the cries his squire Sancho sent after him, warning him that most
certainly they were windmills and not giants he was going to attack.
He, however, was so positive they were giants that he neither heard
the cries of Sancho, nor perceived, near as he was, what they were,
but made at them shouting, "Fly not, cowards and vile beings, for a
single knight attacks you."
  A slight breeze at this moment sprang up, and the great sails
began to move, seeing which Don Quixote exclaimed, "Though ye flourish
more arms than the giant Briareus, ye have to reckon with me."
  So saying, and commending himself with all his heart to his lady
Dulcinea, imploring her to support him in such a peril, with lance
in rest and covered by his buckler, he charged at Rocinante's
fullest gallop and fell upon the first mill that stood in front of
him; but as he drove his lance-point into the sail the wind whirled it
round with such force that it shivered the lance to pieces, sweeping
with it horse and rider, who went rolling over on the plain, in a
sorry condition. Sancho hastened to his assistance as fast as his
ass could go, and when he came up found him unable to move, with
such a shock had Rocinante fallen with him.
  "God bless me!" said Sancho, "did I not tell your worship to mind
what you were about, for they were only windmills? and no one could
have made any mistake about it but one who had something of the same
kind in his head."
  "Hush, friend Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "the fortunes of war
more than any other are liable to frequent fluctuations; and
moreover I think, and it is the truth, that that same sage Friston who
carried off my study and books, has turned these giants into mills
in order to rob me of the glory of vanquishing them, such is the
enmity he bears me; but in the end his wicked arts will avail but
little against my good sword."
  "God order it as he may," said Sancho Panza, and helping him to rise
got him up again on Rocinante, whose shoulder was half out; and
then, discussing the late adventure, they followed the road to
Puerto Lapice, for there, said Don Quixote, they could not fail to
find adventures in abundance and variety, as it was a great
thoroughfare. For all that, he was much grieved at the loss of his
lance, and saying so to his squire, he added, "I remember having
read how a Spanish knight, Diego Perez de Vargas by name, having
broken his sword in battle, tore from an oak a ponderous bough or
branch, and with it did such things that day, and pounded so many
Moors, that he got the surname of Machuca, and he and his
descendants from that day forth were called Vargas y Machuca. I
mention this because from the first oak I see I mean to rend such
another branch, large and stout like that, with which I am
determined and resolved to do such deeds that thou mayest deem thyself
very fortunate in being found worthy to come and see them, and be an
eyewitness of things that will with difficulty be believed."
  "Be that as God will," said Sancho, "I believe it all as your
worship says it; but straighten yourself a little, for you seem all on
one side, may be from the shaking of the fall."
  "That is the truth," said Don Quixote, "and if I make no complaint
of the pain it is because knights-errant are not permitted to complain
of any wound, even though their bowels be coming out through it."
  "If so," said Sancho, "I have nothing to say; but God knows I
would rather your worship complained when anything ailed you. For my
part, I confess I must complain however small the ache may be;
unless this rule about not complaining extends to the squires of
knights-errant also."
  Don Quixote could not help laughing at his squire's simplicity,
and he assured him he might complain whenever and however he chose,
just as he liked, for, so far, he had never read of anything to the
contrary in the order of knighthood.
  Sancho bade him remember it was dinner-time, to which his master
answered that he wanted nothing himself just then, but that he might
eat when he had a mind. With this permission Sancho settled himself as
comfortably as he could on his beast, and taking out of the alforjas
what he had stowed away in them, he jogged along behind his master
munching deliberately, and from time to time taking a pull at the bota
with a relish that the thirstiest tapster in Malaga might have envied;
and while he went on in this way, gulping down draught after
draught, he never gave a thought to any of the promises his master had
made him, nor did he rate it as hardship but rather as recreation
going in quest of adventures, however dangerous they might be. Finally
they passed the night among some trees, from one of which Don
Quixote plucked a dry branch to serve him after a fashion as a
lance, and fixed on it the head he had removed from the broken one.
All that night Don Quixote lay awake thinking of his lady Dulcinea, in
order to conform to what he had read in his books, how many a night in
the forests and deserts knights used to lie sleepless supported by the
memory of their mistresses. Not so did Sancho Panza spend it, for
having his stomach full of something stronger than chicory water he
made but one sleep of it, and, if his master had not called him,
neither the rays of the sun beating on his face nor all the cheery
notes of the birds welcoming the approach of day would have had
power to waken him. On getting up he tried the bota and found it
somewhat less full than the night before, which grieved his heart
because they did not seem to be on the way to remedy the deficiency
readily. Don Quixote did not care to break his fast, for, as has
been already said, he confined himself to savoury recollections for
nourishment.
  They returned to the road they had set out with, leading to Puerto
Lapice, and at three in the afternoon they came in sight of it. "Here,
brother Sancho Panza," said Don Quixote when he saw it, "we may plunge
our hands up to the elbows in what they call adventures; but
observe, even shouldst thou see me in the greatest danger in the
world, thou must not put a hand to thy sword in my defence, unless
indeed thou perceivest that those who assail me are rabble or base
folk; for in that case thou mayest very properly aid me; but if they
be knights it is on no account permitted or allowed thee by the laws
of knighthood to help me until thou hast been dubbed a knight."
  "Most certainly, senor," replied Sancho, "your worship shall be
fully obeyed in this matter; all the more as of myself I am peaceful
and no friend to mixing in strife and quarrels: it is true that as
regards the defence of my own person I shall not give much heed to
those laws, for laws human and divine allow each one to defend himself
against any assailant whatever."
  "That I grant," said Don Quixote, "but in this matter of aiding me
against knights thou must put a restraint upon thy natural
impetuosity."
  "I will do so, I promise you," answered Sancho, "and will keep
this precept as carefully as Sunday."
  While they were thus talking there appeared on the road two friars
of the order of St. Benedict, mounted on two dromedaries, for not less
tall were the two mules they rode on. They wore travelling
spectacles and carried sunshades; and behind them came a coach
attended by four or five persons on horseback and two muleteers on
foot. In the coach there was, as afterwards appeared, a Biscay lady on
her way to Seville, where her husband was about to take passage for
the Indies with an appointment of high honour. The friars, though
going the same road, were not in her company; but the moment Don
Quixote perceived them he said to his squire, "Either I am mistaken,
or this is going to be the most famous adventure that has ever been
seen, for those black bodies we see there must be, and doubtless
are, magicians who are carrying off some stolen princess in that
coach, and with all my might I must undo this wrong."
  "This will be worse than the windmills," said Sancho. "Look,
senor; those are friars of St. Benedict, and the coach plainly belongs
to some travellers: I tell you to mind well what you are about and
don't let the devil mislead you."
  "I have told thee already, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "that on
the subject of adventures thou knowest little. What I say is the
truth, as thou shalt see presently."
  So saying, he advanced and posted himself in the middle of the
road along which the friars were coming, and as soon as he thought
they had come near enough to hear what he said, he cried aloud,
"Devilish and unnatural beings, release instantly the highborn
princesses whom you are carrying off by force in this coach, else
prepare to meet a speedy death as the just punishment of your evil
deeds."
  The friars drew rein and stood wondering at the appearance of Don
Quixote as well as at his words, to which they replied, "Senor
Caballero, we are not devilish or unnatural, but two brothers of St.
Benedict following our road, nor do we know whether or not there are
any captive princesses coming in this coach."
  "No soft words with me, for I know you, lying rabble," said Don
Quixote, and without waiting for a reply he spurred Rocinante and with
levelled lance charged the first friar with such fury and
determination, that, if the friar had not flung himself off the
mule, he would have brought him to the ground against his will, and
sore wounded, if not killed outright. The second brother, seeing how
his comrade was treated, drove his heels into his castle of a mule and
made off across the country faster than the wind.
  Sancho Panza, when he saw the friar on the ground, dismounting
briskly from his ass, rushed towards him and began to strip off his
gown. At that instant the friars muleteers came up and asked what he
was stripping him for. Sancho answered them that this fell to him
lawfully as spoil of the battle which his lord Don Quixote had won.
The muleteers, who had no idea of a joke and did not understand all
this about battles and spoils, seeing that Don Quixote was some
distance off talking to the travellers in the coach, fell upon Sancho,
knocked him down, and leaving hardly a hair in his beard, belaboured
him with kicks and left him stretched breathless and senseless on
the ground; and without any more delay helped the friar to mount, who,
trembling, terrified, and pale, as soon as he found himself in the
saddle, spurred after his companion, who was standing at a distance
looking on, watching the result of the onslaught; then, not caring
to wait for the end of the affair just begun, they pursued their
journey making more crosses than if they had the devil after them.
  Don Quixote was, as has been said, speaking to the lady in the
coach: "Your beauty, lady mine," said he, "may now dispose of your
person as may be most in accordance with your pleasure, for the
pride of your ravishers lies prostrate on the ground through this
strong arm of mine; and lest you should be pining to know the name
of your deliverer, know that I am called Don Quixote of La Mancha,
knight-errant and adventurer, and captive to the peerless and
beautiful lady Dulcinea del Toboso: and in return for the service
you have received of me I ask no more than that you should return to
El Toboso, and on my behalf present yourself before that lady and tell
her what I have done to set you free."
  One of the squires in attendance upon the coach, a Biscayan, was
listening to all Don Quixote was saying, and, perceiving that he would
not allow the coach to go on, but was saying it must return at once to
El Toboso, he made at him, and seizing his lance addressed him in
bad Castilian and worse Biscayan after his fashion, "Begone,
caballero, and ill go with thee; by the God that made me, unless
thou quittest coach, slayest thee as art here a Biscayan."
  Don Quixote understood him quite well, and answered him very
quietly, "If thou wert a knight, as thou art none, I should have
already chastised thy folly and rashness, miserable creature." To
which the Biscayan returned, "I no gentleman! -I swear to God thou
liest as I am Christian: if thou droppest lance and drawest sword,
soon shalt thou see thou art carrying water to the cat: Biscayan on
land, hidalgo at sea, hidalgo at the devil, and look, if thou sayest
otherwise thou liest."
  "'"You will see presently," said Agrajes,'" replied Don Quixote; and
throwing his lance on the ground he drew his sword, braced his buckler
on his arm, and attacked the Biscayan, bent upon taking his life.
  The Biscayan, when he saw him coming on, though he wished to
dismount from his mule, in which, being one of those sorry ones let
out for hire, he had no confidence, had no choice but to draw his
sword; it was lucky for him, however, that he was near the coach, from
which he was able to snatch a cushion that served him for a shield;
and they went at one another as if they had been two mortal enemies.
The others strove to make peace between them, but could not, for the
Biscayan declared in his disjointed phrase that if they did not let
him finish his battle he would kill his mistress and everyone that
strove to prevent him. The lady in the coach, amazed and terrified
at what she saw, ordered the coachman to draw aside a little, and
set herself to watch this severe struggle, in the course of which
the Biscayan smote Don Quixote a mighty stroke on the shoulder over
the top of his buckler, which, given to one without armour, would have
cleft him to the waist. Don Quixote, feeling the weight of this
prodigious blow, cried aloud, saying, "O lady of my soul, Dulcinea,
flower of beauty, come to the aid of this your knight, who, in
fulfilling his obligations to your beauty, finds himself in this
extreme peril." To say this, to lift his sword, to shelter himself
well behind his buckler, and to assail the Biscayan was the work of an
instant, determined as he was to venture all upon a single blow. The
Biscayan, seeing him come on in this way, was convinced of his courage
by his spirited bearing, and resolved to follow his example, so he
waited for him keeping well under cover of his cushion, being unable
to execute any sort of manoeuvre with his mule, which, dead tired
and never meant for this kind of game, could not stir a step.
  On, then, as aforesaid, came Don Quixote against the wary
Biscayan, with uplifted sword and a firm intention of splitting him in
half, while on his side the Biscayan waited for him sword in hand, and
under the protection of his cushion; and all present stood
trembling, waiting in suspense the result of blows such as
threatened to fall, and the lady in the coach and the rest of her
following were making a thousand vows and offerings to all the
images and shrines of Spain, that God might deliver her squire and all
of them from this great peril in which they found themselves. But it
spoils all, that at this point and crisis the author of the history
leaves this battle impending, giving as excuse that he could find
nothing more written about these achievements of Don Quixote than what
has been already set forth. It is true the second author of this
work was unwilling to believe that a history so curious could have
been allowed to fall under the sentence of oblivion, or that the
wits of La Mancha could have been so undiscerning as not to preserve
in their archives or registries some documents referring to this
famous knight; and this being his persuasion, he did not despair of
finding the conclusion of this pleasant history, which, heaven
favouring him, he did find in a way that shall be related in the
Second Part.
  CHAPTER IX
  IN WHICH IS CONCLUDED AND FINISHED THE TERRIFIC BATTLE BETWEEN THE
GALLANT BISCAYAN AND THE VALIANT MANCHEGAN

  IN THE First Part of this history we left the valiant Biscayan and
the renowned Don Quixote with drawn swords uplifted, ready to
deliver two such furious slashing blows that if they had fallen full
and fair they would at least have split and cleft them asunder from
top to toe and laid them open like a pomegranate; and at this so
critical point the delightful history came to a stop and stood cut
short without any intimation from the author where what was missing
was to be found.
  This distressed me greatly, because the pleasure derived from having
read such a small portion turned to vexation at the thought of the
poor chance that presented itself of finding the large part that, so
it seemed to me, was missing of such an interesting tale. It
appeared to me to be a thing impossible and contrary to all
precedent that so good a knight should have been without some sage
to undertake the task of writing his marvellous achievements; a
thing that was never wanting to any of those knights-errant who,
they say, went after adventures; for every one of them had one or
two sages as if made on purpose, who not only recorded their deeds but
described their most trifling thoughts and follies, however secret
they might be; and such a good knight could not have been so
unfortunate as not to have what Platir and others like him had in
abundance. And so I could not bring myself to believe that such a
gallant tale had been left maimed and mutilated, and I laid the
blame on Time, the devourer and destroyer of all things, that had
either concealed or consumed it.
  On the other hand, it struck me that, inasmuch as among his books
there had been found such modern ones as "The Enlightenment of
Jealousy" and the "Nymphs and Shepherds of Henares," his story must
likewise be modern, and that though it might not be written, it
might exist in the memory of the people of his village and of those in
the neighbourhood. This reflection kept me perplexed and longing to
know really and truly the whole life and wondrous deeds of our
famous Spaniard, Don Quixote of La Mancha, light and mirror of
Manchegan chivalry, and the first that in our age and in these so evil
days devoted himself to the labour and exercise of the arms of
knight-errantry, righting wrongs, succouring widows, and protecting
damsels of that sort that used to ride about, whip in hand, on their
palfreys, with all their virginity about them, from mountain to
mountain and valley to valley- for, if it were not for some ruffian,
or boor with a hood and hatchet, or monstrous giant, that forced them,
there were in days of yore damsels that at the end of eighty years, in
all which time they had never slept a day under a roof, went to
their graves as much maids as the mothers that bore them. I say, then,
that in these and other respects our gallant Don Quixote is worthy
of everlasting and notable praise, nor should it be withheld even from
me for the labour and pains spent in searching for the conclusion of
this delightful history; though I know well that if Heaven, chance and
good fortune had not helped me, the world would have remained deprived
of an entertainment and pleasure that for a couple of hours or so
may well occupy him who shall read it attentively. The discovery of it
occurred in this way.
  One day, as I was in the Alcana of Toledo, a boy came up to sell
some pamphlets and old papers to a silk mercer, and, as I am fond of
reading even the very scraps of paper in the streets, led by this
natural bent of mine I took up one of the pamphlets the boy had for
sale, and saw that it was in characters which I recognised as
Arabic, and as I was unable to read them though I could recognise
them, I looked about to see if there were any Spanish-speaking Morisco
at hand to read them for me; nor was there any great difficulty in
finding such an interpreter, for even had I sought one for an older
and better language I should have found him. In short, chance provided
me with one, who when I told him what I wanted and put the book into
his hands, opened it in the middle and after reading a little in it
began to laugh. I asked him what he was laughing at, and he replied
that it was at something the book had written in the margin by way
of a note. I bade him tell it to me; and he still laughing said, "In
the margin, as I told you, this is written: 'This Dulcinea del
Toboso so often mentioned in this history, had, they say, the best
hand of any woman in all La Mancha for salting pigs.'"
  When I heard Dulcinea del Toboso named, I was struck with surprise
and amazement, for it occurred to me at once that these pamphlets
contained the history of Don Quixote. With this idea I pressed him
to read the beginning, and doing so, turning the Arabic offhand into
Castilian, he told me it meant, "History of Don Quixote of La
Mancha, written by Cide Hamete Benengeli, an Arab historian." It
required great caution to hide the joy I felt when the title of the
book reached my ears, and snatching it from the silk mercer, I
bought all the papers and pamphlets from the boy for half a real;
and if he had had his wits about him and had known how eager I was for
them, he might have safely calculated on making more than six reals by
the bargain. I withdrew at once with the Morisco into the cloister
of the cathedral, and begged him to turn all these pamphlets that
related to Don Quixote into the Castilian tongue, without omitting
or adding anything to them, offering him whatever payment he
pleased. He was satisfied with two arrobas of raisins and two
bushels of wheat, and promised to translate them faithfully and with
all despatch; but to make the matter easier, and not to let such a
precious find out of my hands, I took him to my house, where in little
more than a month and a half he translated the whole just as it is set
down here.
  In the first pamphlet the battle between Don Quixote and the
Biscayan was drawn to the very life, they planted in the same attitude
as the history describes, their swords raised, and the one protected
by his buckler, the other by his cushion, and the Biscayan's mule so
true to nature that it could be seen to be a hired one a bowshot
off. The Biscayan had an inscription under his feet which said, "Don
Sancho de Azpeitia," which no doubt must have been his name; and at
the feet of Rocinante was another that said, "Don Quixote."
Rocinante was marvellously portrayed, so long and thin, so lank and
lean, with so much backbone and so far gone in consumption, that he
showed plainly with what judgment and propriety the name of
Rocinante had been bestowed upon him. Near him was Sancho Panza
holding the halter of his ass, at whose feet was another label that
said, "Sancho Zancas," and according to the picture, he must have
had a big belly, a short body, and long shanks, for which reason, no
doubt, the names of Panza and Zancas were given him, for by these
two surnames the history several times calls him. Some other
trifling particulars might be mentioned, but they are all of slight
importance and have nothing to do with the true relation of the
history; and no history can be bad so long as it is true.
  If against the present one any objection be raised on the score of
its truth, it can only be that its author was an Arab, as lying is a
very common propensity with those of that nation; though, as they
are such enemies of ours, it is conceivable that there were
omissions rather than additions made in the course of it. And this
is my own opinion; for, where he could and should give freedom to
his pen in praise of so worthy a knight, he seems to me deliberately
to pass it over in silence; which is ill done and worse contrived, for
it is the business and duty of historians to be exact, truthful, and
wholly free from passion, and neither interest nor fear, hatred nor
love, should make them swerve from the path of truth, whose mother
is history, rival of time, storehouse of deeds, witness for the
past, example and counsel for the present, and warning for the future.
In this I know will be found all that can be desired in the
pleasantest, and if it be wanting in any good quality, I maintain it
is the fault of its hound of an author and not the fault of the
subject. To be brief, its Second Part, according to the translation,
began in this way:
  With trenchant swords upraised and poised on high, it seemed as
though the two valiant and wrathful combatants stood threatening
heaven, and earth, and hell, with such resolution and determination
did they bear themselves. The fiery Biscayan was the first to strike a
blow, which was delivered with such force and fury that had not the
sword turned in its course, that single stroke would have sufficed
to put an end to the bitter struggle and to all the adventures of
our knight; but that good fortune which reserved him for greater
things, turned aside the sword of his adversary, so that although it
smote him upon the left shoulder, it did him no more harm than to
strip all that side of its armour, carrying away a great part of his
helmet with half of his ear, all which with fearful ruin fell to the
ground, leaving him in a sorry plight.
  Good God! Who is there that could properly describe the rage that
filled the heart of our Manchegan when he saw himself dealt with in
this fashion? All that can be said is, it was such that he again
raised himself in his stirrups, and, grasping his sword more firmly
with both hands, he came down on the Biscayan with such fury,
smiting him full over the cushion and over the head, that- even so
good a shield proving useless- as if a mountain had fallen on him,
he began to bleed from nose, mouth, and ears, reeling as if about to
fall backwards from his mule, as no doubt he would have done had he
not flung his arms about its neck; at the same time, however, he
slipped his feet out of the stirrups and then unclasped his arms,
and the mule, taking fright at the terrible blow, made off across
the plain, and with a few plunges flung its master to the ground.
Don Quixote stood looking on very calmly, and, when he saw him fall,
leaped from his horse and with great briskness ran to him, and,
presenting the point of his sword to his eyes, bade him surrender,
or he would cut his head off. The Biscayan was so bewildered that he
was unable to answer a word, and it would have gone hard with him,
so blind was Don Quixote, had not the ladies in the coach, who had
hitherto been watching the combat in great terror, hastened to where
he stood and implored him with earnest entreaties to grant them the
great grace and favour of sparing their squire's life; to which Don
Quixote replied with much gravity and dignity, "In truth, fair ladies,
I am well content to do what ye ask of me; but it must be on one
condition and understanding, which is that this knight promise me to
go to the village of El Toboso, and on my behalf present himself
before the peerless lady Dulcinea, that she deal with him as shall
be most pleasing to her."
  The terrified and disconsolate ladies, without discussing Don
Quixote's demand or asking who Dulcinea might be, promised that
their squire should do all that had been commanded.
  "Then, on the faith of that promise," said Don Quixote, "I shall
do him no further harm, though he well deserves it of me."
  CHAPTER X
  OF THE PLEASANT DISCOURSE THAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND HIS
SQUIRE SANCHO PANZA

  NOW by this time Sancho had risen, rather the worse for the handling
of the friars' muleteers, and stood watching the battle of his master,
Don Quixote, and praying to God in his heart that it might be his will
to grant him the victory, and that he might thereby win some island to
make him governor of, as he had promised. Seeing, therefore, that
the struggle was now over, and that his master was returning to
mount Rocinante, he approached to hold the stirrup for him, and,
before he could mount, he went on his knees before him, and taking his
hand, kissed it saying, "May it please your worship, Senor Don
Quixote, to give me the government of that island which has been won
in this hard fight, for be it ever so big I feel myself in
sufficient force to be able to govern it as much and as well as anyone
in the world who has ever governed islands."
  To which Don Quixote replied, "Thou must take notice, brother
Sancho, that this adventure and those like it are not adventures of
islands, but of cross-roads, in which nothing is got except a broken
head or an ear the less: have patience, for adventures will present
themselves from which I may make you, not only a governor, but
something more."
  Sancho gave him many thanks, and again kissing his hand and the
skirt of his hauberk, helped him to mount Rocinante, and mounting
his ass himself, proceeded to follow his master, who at a brisk
pace, without taking leave, or saying anything further to the ladies
belonging to the coach, turned into a wood that was hard by. Sancho
followed him at his ass's best trot, but Rocinante stepped out so
that, seeing himself left behind, he was forced to call to his
master to wait for him. Don Quixote did so, reining in Rocinante until
his weary squire came up, who on reaching him said, "It seems to me,
senor, it would be prudent in us to go and take refuge in some church,
for, seeing how mauled he with whom you fought has been left, it
will be no wonder if they give information of the affair to the Holy
Brotherhood and arrest us, and, faith, if they do, before we come
out of gaol we shall have to sweat for it."
  "Peace," said Don Quixote; "where hast thou ever seen or heard
that a knight-errant has been arraigned before a court of justice,
however many homicides he may have committed?"
  "I know nothing about omecils," answered Sancho, "nor in my life
have had anything to do with one; I only know that the Holy
Brotherhood looks after those who fight in the fields, and in that
other matter I do not meddle."
  "Then thou needst have no uneasiness, my friend," said Don
Quixote, "for I will deliver thee out of the hands of the Chaldeans,
much more out of those of the Brotherhood. But tell me, as thou
livest, hast thou seen a more valiant knight than I in all the known
world; hast thou read in history of any who has or had higher mettle
in attack, more spirit in maintaining it, more dexterity in wounding
or skill in overthrowing?"
  "The truth is," answered Sancho, "that I have never read any
history, for I can neither read nor write, but what I will venture
to bet is that a more daring master than your worship I have never
served in all the days of my life, and God grant that this daring be
not paid for where I have said; what I beg of your worship is to dress
your wound, for a great deal of blood flows from that ear, and I
have here some lint and a little white ointment in the alforjas."
  "All that might be well dispensed with," said Don Quixote, "if I had
remembered to make a vial of the balsam of Fierabras, for time and
medicine are saved by one single drop."
  "What vial and what balsam is that?" said Sancho Panza.
  "It is a balsam," answered Don Quixote, "the receipt of which I have
in my memory, with which one need have no fear of death, or dread
dying of any wound; and so when I make it and give it to thee thou
hast nothing to do when in some battle thou seest they have cut me
in half through the middle of the body- as is wont to happen
frequently,- but neatly and with great nicety, ere the blood
congeal, to place that portion of the body which shall have fallen
to the ground upon the other half which remains in the saddle,
taking care to fit it on evenly and exactly. Then thou shalt give me
to drink but two drops of the balsam I have mentioned, and thou
shalt see me become sounder than an apple."
  "If that be so," said Panza, "I renounce henceforth the government
of the promised island, and desire nothing more in payment of my
many and faithful services than that your worship give me the
receipt of this supreme liquor, for I am persuaded it will be worth
more than two reals an ounce anywhere, and I want no more to pass
the rest of my life in ease and honour; but it remains to be told if
it costs much to make it."
  "With less than three reals, six quarts of it may be made," said Don
Quixote.
  "Sinner that I am!" said Sancho, "then why does your worship put off
making it and teaching it to me?"
  "Peace, friend," answered Don Quixote; "greater secrets I mean to
teach thee and greater favours to bestow upon thee; and for the
present let us see to the dressing, for my ear pains me more than I
could wish."
  Sancho took out some lint and ointment from the alforjas; but when
Don Quixote came to see his helmet shattered, he was like to lose
his senses, and clapping his hand upon his sword and raising his
eyes to heaven, be said, "I swear by the Creator of all things and the
four Gospels in their fullest extent, to do as the great Marquis of
Mantua did when he swore to avenge the death of his nephew Baldwin
(and that was not to eat bread from a table-cloth, nor embrace his
wife, and other points which, though I cannot now call them to mind, I
here grant as expressed) until I take complete vengeance upon him
who has committed such an offence against me."
  Hearing this, Sancho said to him, "Your worship should bear in mind,
Senor Don Quixote, that if the knight has done what was commanded
him in going to present himself before my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, he
will have done all that he was bound to do, and does not deserve
further punishment unless he commits some new offence."
  "Thou hast said well and hit the point," answered Don Quixote; and
so I recall the oath in so far as relates to taking fresh vengeance on
him, but I make and confirm it anew to lead the life I have said until
such time as I take by force from some knight another helmet such as
this and as good; and think not, Sancho, that I am raising smoke
with straw in doing so, for I have one to imitate in the matter, since
the very same thing to a hair happened in the case of Mambrino's
helmet, which cost Sacripante so dear."
  "Senor," replied Sancho, "let your worship send all such oaths to
the devil, for they are very pernicious to salvation and prejudicial
to the conscience; just tell me now, if for several days to come we
fall in with no man armed with a helmet, what are we to do? Is the
oath to be observed in spite of all the inconvenience and discomfort
it will be to sleep in your clothes, and not to sleep in a house,
and a thousand other mortifications contained in the oath of that
old fool the Marquis of Mantua, which your worship is now wanting to
revive? Let your worship observe that there are no men in armour
travelling on any of these roads, nothing but carriers and carters,
who not only do not wear helmets, but perhaps never heard tell of them
all their lives."
  "Thou art wrong there," said Don Quixote, "for we shall not have
been above two hours among these cross-roads before we see more men in
armour than came to Albraca to win the fair Angelica."
  "Enough," said Sancho; "so be it then, and God grant us success, and
that the time for winning that island which is costing me so dear
may soon come, and then let me die."
  "I have already told thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "not to give
thyself any uneasiness on that score; for if an island should fail,
there is the kingdom of Denmark, or of Sobradisa, which will fit
thee as a ring fits the finger, and all the more that, being on
terra firma, thou wilt all the better enjoy thyself. But let us
leave that to its own time; see if thou hast anything for us to eat in
those alforjas, because we must presently go in quest of some castle
where we may lodge to-night and make the balsam I told thee of, for
I swear to thee by God, this ear is giving me great pain."
  "I have here an onion and a little cheese and a few scraps of
bread," said Sancho, "but they are not victuals fit for a valiant
knight like your worship."
  "How little thou knowest about it," answered Don Quixote; "I would
have thee to know, Sancho, that it is the glory of knights-errant to
go without eating for a month, and even when they do eat, that it
should be of what comes first to hand; and this would have been
clear to thee hadst thou read as many histories as I have, for, though
they are very many, among them all I have found no mention made of
knights-errant eating, unless by accident or at some sumptuous
banquets prepared for them, and the rest of the time they passed in
dalliance. And though it is plain they could not do without eating and
performing all the other natural functions, because, in fact, they
were men like ourselves, it is plain too that, wandering as they did
the most part of their lives through woods and wilds and without a
cook, their most usual fare would be rustic viands such as those
thou now offer me; so that, friend Sancho, let not that distress
thee which pleases me, and do not seek to make a new world or
pervert knight-errantry."
  "Pardon me, your worship," said Sancho, "for, as I cannot read or
write, as I said just now, I neither know nor comprehend the rules
of the profession of chivalry: henceforward I will stock the
alforjas with every kind of dry fruit for your worship, as you are a
knight; and for myself, as I am not one, I will furnish them with
poultry and other things more substantial."
  "I do not say, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "that it is
imperative on knights-errant not to eat anything else but the fruits
thou speakest of; only that their more usual diet must be those, and
certain herbs they found in the fields which they knew and I know
too."
  "A good thing it is," answered Sancho, "to know those herbs, for
to my thinking it will be needful some day to put that knowledge
into practice."
  And here taking out what he said he had brought, the pair made their
repast peaceably and sociably. But anxious to find quarters for the
night, they with all despatch made an end of their poor dry fare,
mounted at once, and made haste to reach some habitation before
night set in; but daylight and the hope of succeeding in their
object failed them close by the huts of some goatherds, so they
determined to pass the night there, and it was as much to Sancho's
discontent not to have reached a house, as it was to his master's
satisfaction to sleep under the open heaven, for he fancied that
each time this happened to him he performed an act of ownership that
helped to prove his chivalry.
  CHAPTER XI
  OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE WITH CERTAIN GOATHERDS

  HE WAS cordially welcomed by the goatherds, and Sancho, having as
best he could put up Rocinante and the ass, drew towards the fragrance
that came from some pieces of salted goat simmering in a pot on the
fire; and though he would have liked at once to try if they were ready
to be transferred from the pot to the stomach, he refrained from doing
so as the goatherds removed them from the fire, and laying
sheepskins on the ground, quickly spread their rude table, and with
signs of hearty good-will invited them both to share what they had.
Round the skins six of the men belonging to the fold seated
themselves, having first with rough politeness pressed Don Quixote
to take a seat upon a trough which they placed for him upside down.
Don Quixote seated himself, and Sancho remained standing to serve
the cup, which was made of horn. Seeing him standing, his master
said to him:
  "That thou mayest see, Sancho, the good that knight-errantry
contains in itself, and how those who fill any office in it are on the
high road to be speedily honoured and esteemed by the world, I
desire that thou seat thyself here at my side and in the company of
these worthy people, and that thou be one with me who am thy master
and natural lord, and that thou eat from my plate and drink from
whatever I drink from; for the same may be said of knight-errantry
as of love, that it levels all."
  "Great thanks," said Sancho, "but I may tell your worship that
provided I have enough to eat, I can eat it as well, or better,
standing, and by myself, than seated alongside of an emperor. And
indeed, if the truth is to be told, what I eat in my corner without
form or fuss has much more relish for me, even though it be bread
and onions, than the turkeys of those other tables where I am forced
to chew slowly, drink little, wipe my mouth every minute, and cannot
sneeze or cough if I want or do other things that are the privileges
of liberty and solitude. So, senor, as for these honours which your
worship would put upon me as a servant and follower of
knight-errantry, exchange them for other things which may be of more
use and advantage to me; for these, though I fully acknowledge them as
received, I renounce from this moment to the end of the world."
  "For all that," said Don Quixote, "thou must seat thyself, because
him who humbleth himself God exalteth;" and seizing him by the arm
he forced him to sit down beside himself.
  The goatherds did not understand this jargon about squires and
knights-errant, and all they did was to eat in silence and stare at
their guests, who with great elegance and appetite were stowing away
pieces as big as one's fist. The course of meat finished, they
spread upon the sheepskins a great heap of parched acorns, and with
them they put down a half cheese harder than if it had been made of
mortar. All this while the horn was not idle, for it went round so
constantly, now full, now empty, like the bucket of a water-wheel,
that it soon drained one of the two wine-skins that were in sight.
When Don Quixote had quite appeased his appetite he took up a
handful of the acorns, and contemplating them attentively delivered
himself somewhat in this fashion:
  "Happy the age, happy the time, to which the ancients gave the
name of golden, not because in that fortunate age the gold so
coveted in this our iron one was gained without toil, but because they
that lived in it knew not the two words "mine" and "thine"! In that
blessed age all things were in common; to win the daily food no labour
was required of any save to stretch forth his hand and gather it
from the sturdy oaks that stood generously inviting him with their
sweet ripe fruit. The clear streams and running brooks yielded their
savoury limpid waters in noble abundance. The busy and sagacious
bees fixed their republic in the clefts of the rocks and hollows of
the trees, offering without usance the plenteous produce of their
fragrant toil to every hand. The mighty cork trees, unenforced save of
their own courtesy, shed the broad light bark that served at first
to roof the houses supported by rude stakes, a protection against
the inclemency of heaven alone. Then all was peace, all friendship,
all concord; as yet the dull share of the crooked plough had not dared
to rend and pierce the tender bowels of our first mother that
without compulsion yielded from every portion of her broad fertile
bosom all that could satisfy, sustain, and delight the children that
then possessed her. Then was it that the innocent and fair young
shepherdess roamed from vale to vale and hill to hill, with flowing
locks, and no more garments than were needful modestly to cover what
modesty seeks and ever sought to hide. Nor were their ornaments like
those in use to-day, set off by Tyrian purple, and silk tortured in
endless fashions, but the wreathed leaves of the green dock and ivy,
wherewith they went as bravely and becomingly decked as our Court
dames with all the rare and far-fetched artifices that idle
curiosity has taught them. Then the love-thoughts of the heart clothed
themselves simply and naturally as the heart conceived them, nor
sought to commend themselves by forced and rambling verbiage. Fraud,
deceit, or malice had then not yet mingled with truth and sincerity.
Justice held her ground, undisturbed and unassailed by the efforts
of favour and of interest, that now so much impair, pervert, and beset
her. Arbitrary law had not yet established itself in the mind of the
judge, for then there was no cause to judge and no one to be judged.
Maidens and modesty, as I have said, wandered at will alone and
unattended, without fear of insult from lawlessness or libertine
assault, and if they were undone it was of their own will and
pleasure. But now in this hateful age of ours not one is safe, not
though some new labyrinth like that of Crete conceal and surround her;
even there the pestilence of gallantry will make its way to them
through chinks or on the air by the zeal of its accursed
importunity, and, despite of all seclusion, lead them to ruin. In
defence of these, as time advanced and wickedness increased, the order
of knights-errant was instituted, to defend maidens, to protect widows
and to succour the orphans and the needy. To this order I belong,
brother goatherds, to whom I return thanks for the hospitality and
kindly welcome ye offer me and my squire; for though by natural law
all living are bound to show favour to knights-errant, yet, seeing
that without knowing this obligation ye have welcomed and feasted
me, it is right that with all the good-will in my power I should thank
you for yours."
  All this long harangue (which might very well have been spared)
our knight delivered because the acorns they gave him reminded him
of the golden age; and the whim seized him to address all this
unnecessary argument to the goatherds, who listened to him gaping in
amazement without saying a word in reply. Sancho likewise held his
peace and ate acorns, and paid repeated visits to the second
wine-skin, which they had hung up on a cork tree to keep the wine
cool.
  Don Quixote was longer in talking than the supper in finishing, at
the end of which one of the goatherds said, "That your worship,
senor knight-errant, may say with more truth that we show you
hospitality with ready good-will, we will give you amusement and
pleasure by making one of our comrades sing: he will be here before
long, and he is a very intelligent youth and deep in love, and what is
more he can read and write and play on the rebeck to perfection."
  The goatherd had hardly done speaking, when the notes of the
rebeck reached their ears; and shortly after, the player came up, a
very good-looking young man of about two-and-twenty. His comrades
asked him if he had supped, and on his replying that he had, he who
had already made the offer said to him:
  "In that case, Antonio, thou mayest as well do us the pleasure of
singing a little, that the gentleman, our guest, may see that even
in the mountains and woods there are musicians: we have told him of
thy accomplishments, and we want thee to show them and prove that we
say true; so, as thou livest, pray sit down and sing that ballad about
thy love that thy uncle the prebendary made thee, and that was so much
liked in the town."
  "With all my heart," said the young man, and without waiting for
more pressing he seated himself on the trunk of a felled oak, and
tuning his rebeck, presently began to sing to these words.

                ANTONIO'S BALLAD

       Thou dost love me well, Olalla;
         Well I know it, even though
       Love's mute tongues, thine eyes, have never
         By their glances told me so.

       For I know my love thou knowest,
         Therefore thine to claim I dare:
       Once it ceases to be secret,
         Love need never feel despair.

       True it is, Olalla, sometimes
         Thou hast all too plainly shown
       That thy heart is brass in hardness,
         And thy snowy bosom stone.

       Yet for all that, in thy coyness,
         And thy fickle fits between,
       Hope is there- at least the border
         Of her garment may be seen.

       Lures to faith are they, those glimpses,
         And to faith in thee I hold;
       Kindness cannot make it stronger,
         Coldness cannot make it cold.

       If it be that love is gentle,
         In thy gentleness I see
       Something holding out assurance
         To the hope of winning thee.

       If it be that in devotion
         Lies a power hearts to move,
       That which every day I show thee,
         Helpful to my suit should prove.

       Many a time thou must have noticed-
         If to notice thou dost care-
       How I go about on Monday
         Dressed in all my Sunday wear.

       Love's eyes love to look on brightness;
         Love loves what is gaily drest;
       Sunday, Monday, all I care is
         Thou shouldst see me in my best.

       No account I make of dances,
         Or of strains that pleased thee so,
       Keeping thee awake from midnight
         Till the cocks began to crow;

       Or of how I roundly swore it
         That there's none so fair as thou;
       True it is, but as I said it,
         By the girls I'm hated now.

       For Teresa of the hillside
         At my praise of thee was sore;
       Said, "You think you love an angel;
         It's a monkey you adore;

       "Caught by all her glittering trinkets,
         And her borrowed braids of hair,
       And a host of made-up beauties
         That would Love himself ensnare."

       'T was a lie, and so I told her,
         And her cousin at the word
       Gave me his defiance for it;
         And what followed thou hast heard.

       Mine is no high-flown affection,
         Mine no passion par amours-
       As they call it- what I offer
         Is an honest love, and pure.

       Cunning cords the holy Church has,
         Cords of softest silk they be;
       Put thy neck beneath the yoke, dear;
         Mine will follow, thou wilt see.

       Else- and once for all I swear it
         By the saint of most renown-
       If I ever quit the mountains,
         'T will be in a friar's gown.

  Here the goatherd brought his song to an end, and though Don Quixote
entreated him to sing more, Sancho had no mind that way, being more
inclined for sleep than for listening to songs; so said he to his
master, "Your worship will do well to settle at once where you mean to
pass the night, for the labour these good men are at all day does
not allow them to spend the night in singing."
  "I understand thee, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "I perceive
clearly that those visits to the wine-skin demand compensation in
sleep rather than in music."
  "It's sweet to us all, blessed be God," said Sancho.
  "I do not deny it," replied Don Quixote; "but settle thyself where
thou wilt; those of my calling are more becomingly employed in
watching than in sleeping; still it would be as well if thou wert to
dress this ear for me again, for it is giving me more pain than it
need."
  Sancho did as he bade him, but one of the goatherds, seeing the
wound, told him not to be uneasy, as he would apply a remedy with
which it would be soon healed; and gathering some leaves of
rosemary, of which there was a great quantity there, he chewed them
and mixed them with a little salt, and applying them to the ear he
secured them firmly with a bandage, assuring him that no other
treatment would be required, and so it proved.
  CHAPTER XII
  OF WHAT A GOATHERD RELATED TO THOSE WITH DON QUIXOTE

  JUST then another young man, one of those who fetched their
provisions from the village, came up and said, "Do you know what is
going on in the village, comrades?"
  "How could we know it?" replied one of them.
  "Well, then, you must know," continued the young man, "this
morning that famous student-shepherd called Chrysostom died, and it is
rumoured that he died of love for that devil of a village girl the
daughter of Guillermo the Rich, she that wanders about the wolds
here in the dress of a shepherdess."
  "You mean Marcela?" said one.
  "Her I mean," answered the goatherd; "and the best of it is, he
has directed in his will that he is to be buried in the fields like
a Moor, and at the foot of the rock where the Cork-tree spring is,
because, as the story goes (and they say he himself said so), that was
the place where he first saw her. And he has also left other
directions which the clergy of the village say should not and must not
be obeyed because they savour of paganism. To all which his great
friend Ambrosio the student, he who, like him, also went dressed as
a shepherd, replies that everything must be done without any
omission according to the directions left by Chrysostom, and about
this the village is all in commotion; however, report says that, after
all, what Ambrosio and all the shepherds his friends desire will be
done, and to-morrow they are coming to bury him with great ceremony
where I said. I am sure it will be something worth seeing; at least
I will not fail to go and see it even if I knew I should not return to
the village tomorrow."
  "We will do the same," answered the goatherds, "and cast lots to see
who must stay to mind the goats of all."
  "Thou sayest well, Pedro," said one, "though there will be no need
of taking that trouble, for I will stay behind for all; and don't
suppose it is virtue or want of curiosity in me; it is that the
splinter that ran into my foot the other day will not let me walk."
  "For all that, we thank thee," answered Pedro.
  Don Quixote asked Pedro to tell him who the dead man was and who the
shepherdess, to which Pedro replied that all he knew was that the dead
man was a wealthy gentleman belonging to a village in those mountains,
who had been a student at Salamanca for many years, at the end of
which he returned to his village with the reputation of being very
learned and deeply read. "Above all, they said, he was learned in
the science of the stars and of what went on yonder in the heavens and
the sun and the moon, for he told us of the cris of the sun and moon
to exact time."
  "Eclipse it is called, friend, not cris, the darkening of those
two luminaries," said Don Quixote; but Pedro, not troubling himself
with trifles, went on with his story, saying, "Also he foretold when
the year was going to be one of abundance or estility."
  "Sterility, you mean," said Don Quixote.
  "Sterility or estility," answered Pedro, "it is all the same in
the end. And I can tell you that by this his father and friends who
believed him grew very rich because they did as he advised them,
bidding them 'sow barley this year, not wheat; this year you may sow
pulse and not barley; the next there will be a full oil crop, and
the three following not a drop will be got.'"
  "That science is called astrology," said Don Quixote.
  "I do not know what it is called," replied Pedro, "but I know that
he knew all this and more besides. But, to make an end, not many
months had passed after he returned from Salamanca, when one day he
appeared dressed as a shepherd with his crook and sheepskin, having
put off the long gown he wore as a scholar; and at the same time his
great friend, Ambrosio by name, who had been his companion in his
studies, took to the shepherd's dress with him. I forgot to say that
Chrysostom, who is dead, was a great man for writing verses, so much
so that he made carols for Christmas Eve, and plays for Corpus
Christi, which the young men of our village acted, and all said they
were excellent. When the villagers saw the two scholars so
unexpectedly appearing in shepherd's dress, they were lost in
wonder, and could not guess what had led them to make so extraordinary
a change. About this time the father of our Chrysostom died, and he
was left heir to a large amount of property in chattels as well as
in land, no small number of cattle and sheep, and a large sum of
money, of all of which the young man was left dissolute owner, and
indeed he was deserving of it all, for he was a very good comrade, and
kind-hearted, and a friend of worthy folk, and had a countenance
like a benediction. Presently it came to be known that he had
changed his dress with no other object than to wander about these
wastes after that shepherdess Marcela our lad mentioned a while ago,
with whom the deceased Chrysostom had fallen in love. And I must
tell you now, for it is well you should know it, who this girl is;
perhaps, and even without any perhaps, you will not have heard
anything like it all the days of your life, though you should live
more years than sarna."
  "Say Sarra," said Don Quixote, unable to endure the goatherd's
confusion of words.
  "The sarna lives long enough," answered Pedro; "and if, senor, you
must go finding fault with words at every step, we shall not make an
end of it this twelvemonth."
  "Pardon me, friend," said Don Quixote; "but, as there is such a
difference between sarna and Sarra, I told you of it; however, you
have answered very rightly, for sarna lives longer than Sarra: so
continue your story, and I will not object any more to anything."
  "I say then, my dear sir," said the goatherd, "that in our village
there was a farmer even richer than the father of Chrysostom, who
was named Guillermo, and upon whom God bestowed, over and above
great wealth, a daughter at whose birth her mother died, the most
respected woman there was in this neighbourhood; I fancy I can see her
now with that countenance which had the sun on one side and the moon
on the other; and moreover active, and kind to the poor, for which I
trust that at the present moment her soul is in bliss with God in
the other world. Her husband Guillermo died of grief at the death of
so good a wife, leaving his daughter Marcela, a child and rich, to the
care of an uncle of hers, a priest and prebendary in our village.
The girl grew up with such beauty that it reminded us of her mother's,
which was very great, and yet it was thought that the daughter's would
exceed it; and so when she reached the age of fourteen to fifteen
years nobody beheld her but blessed God that had made her so
beautiful, and the greater number were in love with her past
redemption. Her uncle kept her in great seclusion and retirement,
but for all that the fame of her great beauty spread so that, as
well for it as for her great wealth, her uncle was asked, solicited,
and importuned, to give her in marriage not only by those of our
town but of those many leagues round, and by the persons of highest
quality in them. But he, being a good Christian man, though he desired
to give her in marriage at once, seeing her to be old enough, was
unwilling to do so without her consent, not that he had any eye to the
gain and profit which the custody of the girl's property brought him
while he put off her marriage; and, faith, this was said in praise
of the good priest in more than one set in the town. For I would
have you know, Sir Errant, that in these little villages everything is
talked about and everything is carped at, and rest assured, as I am,
that the priest must be over and above good who forces his
parishioners to speak well of him, especially in villages."
  "That is the truth," said Don Quixote; "but go on, for the story
is very good, and you, good Pedro, tell it with very good grace."
  "May that of the Lord not be wanting to me," said Pedro; "that is
the one to have. To proceed; you must know that though the uncle put
before his niece and described to her the qualities of each one in
particular of the many who had asked her in marriage, begging her to
marry and make a choice according to her own taste, she never gave any
other answer than that she had no desire to marry just yet, and that
being so young she did not think herself fit to bear the burden of
matrimony. At these, to all appearance, reasonable excuses that she
made, her uncle ceased to urge her, and waited till she was somewhat
more advanced in age and could mate herself to her own liking. For,
said he- and he said quite right- parents are not to settle children
in life against their will. But when one least looked for it, lo and
behold! one day the demure Marcela makes her appearance turned
shepherdess; and, in spite of her uncle and all those of the town that
strove to dissuade her, took to going a-field with the other
shepherd-lasses of the village, and tending her own flock. And so,
since she appeared in public, and her beauty came to be seen openly, I
could not well tell you how many rich youths, gentlemen and
peasants, have adopted the costume of Chrysostom, and go about these
fields making love to her. One of these, as has been already said, was
our deceased friend, of whom they say that he did not love but adore
her. But you must not suppose, because Marcela chose a life of such
liberty and independence, and of so little or rather no retirement,
that she has given any occasion, or even the semblance of one, for
disparagement of her purity and modesty; on the contrary, such and
so great is the vigilance with which she watches over her honour, that
of all those that court and woo her not one has boasted, or can with
truth boast, that she has given him any hope however small of
obtaining his desire. For although she does not avoid or shun the
society and conversation of the shepherds, and treats them courteously
and kindly, should any one of them come to declare his intention to
her, though it be one as proper and holy as that of matrimony, she
flings him from her like a catapult. And with this kind of disposition
she does more harm in this country than if the plague had got into it,
for her affability and her beauty draw on the hearts of those that
associate with her to love her and to court her, but her scorn and her
frankness bring them to the brink of despair; and so they know not
what to say save to proclaim her aloud cruel and hard-hearted, and
other names of the same sort which well describe the nature of her
character; and if you should remain here any time, senor, you would
hear these hills and valleys resounding with the laments of the
rejected ones who pursue her. Not far from this there is a spot
where there are a couple of dozen of tall beeches, and there is not
one of them but has carved and written on its smooth bark the name
of Marcela, and above some a crown carved on the same tree as though
her lover would say more plainly that Marcela wore and deserved that
of all human beauty. Here one shepherd is sighing, there another is
lamenting; there love songs are heard, here despairing elegies. One
will pass all the hours of the night seated at the foot of some oak or
rock, and there, without having closed his weeping eyes, the sun finds
him in the morning bemused and bereft of sense; and another without
relief or respite to his sighs, stretched on the burning sand in the
full heat of the sultry summer noontide, makes his appeal to the
compassionate heavens, and over one and the other, over these and all,
the beautiful Marcela triumphs free and careless. And all of us that
know her are waiting to see what her pride will come to, and who is to
be the happy man that will succeed in taming a nature so formidable
and gaining possession of a beauty so supreme. All that I have told
you being such well-established truth, I am persuaded that what they
say of the cause of Chrysostom's death, as our lad told us, is the
same. And so I advise you, senor, fail not to be present to-morrow
at his burial, which will be well worth seeing, for Chrysostom had
many friends, and it is not half a league from this place to where
he directed he should be buried."
  "I will make a point of it," said Don Quixote, "and I thank you
for the pleasure you have given me by relating so interesting a tale."
  "Oh," said the goatherd, "I do not know even the half of what has
happened to the lovers of Marcela, but perhaps to-morrow we may fall
in with some shepherd on the road who can tell us; and now it will
be well for you to go and sleep under cover, for the night air may
hurt your wound, though with the remedy I have applied to you there is
no fear of an untoward result."
  Sancho Panza, who was wishing the goatherd's loquacity at the devil,
on his part begged his master to go into Pedro's hut to sleep. He
did so, and passed all the rest of the night in thinking of his lady
Dulcinea, in imitation of the lovers of Marcela. Sancho Panza
settled himself between Rocinante and his ass, and slept, not like a
lover who had been discarded, but like a man who had been soundly
kicked.
  CHAPTER XIII
  IN WHICH IS ENDED THE STORY OF THE SHEPHERDESS MARCELA, WITH OTHER
INCIDENTS

  BUT hardly had day begun to show itself through the balconies of the
east, when five of the six goatherds came to rouse Don Quixote and
tell him that if he was still of a mind to go and see the famous
burial of Chrysostom they would bear him company. Don Quixote, who
desired nothing better, rose and ordered Sancho to saddle and pannel
at once, which he did with all despatch, and with the same they all
set out forthwith. They had not gone a quarter of a league when at the
meeting of two paths they saw coming towards them some six shepherds
dressed in black sheepskins and with their heads crowned with garlands
of cypress and bitter oleander. Each of them carried a stout holly
staff in his hand, and along with them there came two men of quality
on horseback in handsome travelling dress, with three servants on foot
accompanying them. Courteous salutations were exchanged on meeting,
and inquiring one of the other which way each party was going, they
learned that all were bound for the scene of the burial, so they
went on all together.
  One of those on horseback addressing his companion said to him,
"It seems to me, Senor Vivaldo, that we may reckon as well spent the
delay we shall incur in seeing this remarkable funeral, for remarkable
it cannot but be judging by the strange things these shepherds have
told us, of both the dead shepherd and homicide shepherdess."
  "So I think too," replied Vivaldo, "and I would delay not to say a
day, but four, for the sake of seeing it."
  Don Quixote asked them what it was they had heard of Marcela and
Chrysostom. The traveller answered that the same morning they had
met these shepherds, and seeing them dressed in this mournful
fashion they had asked them the reason of their appearing in such a
guise; which one of them gave, describing the strange behaviour and
beauty of a shepherdess called Marcela, and the loves of many who
courted her, together with the death of that Chrysostom to whose
burial they were going. In short, he repeated all that Pedro had
related to Don Quixote.
  This conversation dropped, and another was commenced by him who
was called Vivaldo asking Don Quixote what was the reason that led him
to go armed in that fashion in a country so peaceful. To which Don
Quixote replied, "The pursuit of my calling does not allow or permit
me to go in any other fashion; easy life, enjoyment, and repose were
invented for soft courtiers, but toil, unrest, and arms were
invented and made for those alone whom the world calls knights-errant,
of whom I, though unworthy, am the least of all."
  The instant they heard this all set him down as mad, and the
better to settle the point and discover what kind of madness his
was, Vivaldo proceeded to ask him what knights-errant meant.
  "Have not your worships," replied Don Quixote, "read the annals
and histories of England, in which are recorded the famous deeds of
King Arthur, whom we in our popular Castilian invariably call King
Artus, with regard to whom it is an ancient tradition, and commonly
received all over that kingdom of Great Britain, that this king did
not die, but was changed by magic art into a raven, and that in
process of time he is to return to reign and recover his kingdom and
sceptre; for which reason it cannot be proved that from that time to
this any Englishman ever killed a raven? Well, then, in the time of
this good king that famous order of chivalry of the Knights of the
Round Table was instituted, and the amour of Don Lancelot of the
Lake with the Queen Guinevere occurred, precisely as is there related,
the go-between and confidante therein being the highly honourable dame
Quintanona, whence came that ballad so well known and widely spread in
our Spain-

       O never surely was there knight
         So served by hand of dame,
       As served was he Sir Lancelot hight
         When he from Britain came-

with all the sweet and delectable course of his achievements in love
and war. Handed down from that time, then, this order of chivalry went
on extending and spreading itself over many and various parts of the
world; and in it, famous and renowned for their deeds, were the mighty
Amadis of Gaul with all his sons and descendants to the fifth
generation, and the valiant Felixmarte of Hircania, and the never
sufficiently praised Tirante el Blanco, and in our own days almost
we have seen and heard and talked with the invincible knight Don
Belianis of Greece. This, then, sirs, is to be a knight-errant, and
what I have spoken of is the order of his chivalry, of which, as I
have already said, I, though a sinner, have made profession, and
what the aforesaid knights professed that same do I profess, and so
I go through these solitudes and wilds seeking adventures, resolved in
soul to oppose my arm and person to the most perilous that fortune may
offer me in aid of the weak and needy."
  By these words of his the travellers were able to satisfy themselves
of Don Quixote's being out of his senses and of the form of madness
that overmastered him, at which they felt the same astonishment that
all felt on first becoming acquainted with it; and Vivaldo, who was
a person of great shrewdness and of a lively temperament, in order
to beguile the short journey which they said was required to reach the
mountain, the scene of the burial, sought to give him an opportunity
of going on with his absurdities. So he said to him, "It seems to
me, Senor Knight-errant, that your worship has made choice of one of
the most austere professions in the world, and I imagine even that
of the Carthusian monks is not so austere."
  "As austere it may perhaps be," replied our Don Quixote, "but so
necessary for the world I am very much inclined to doubt. For, if
the truth is to be told, the soldier who executes what his captain
orders does no less than the captain himself who gives the order. My
meaning, is, that churchmen in peace and quiet pray to Heaven for
the welfare of the world, but we soldiers and knights carry into
effect what they pray for, defending it with the might of our arms and
the edge of our swords, not under shelter but in the open air, a
target for the intolerable rays of the sun in summer and the
piercing frosts of winter. Thus are we God's ministers on earth and
the arms by which his justice is done therein. And as the business
of war and all that relates and belongs to it cannot be conducted
without exceeding great sweat, toil, and exertion, it follows that
those who make it their profession have undoubtedly more labour than
those who in tranquil peace and quiet are engaged in praying to God to
help the weak. I do not mean to say, nor does it enter into my
thoughts, that the knight-errant's calling is as good as that of the
monk in his cell; I would merely infer from what I endure myself
that it is beyond a doubt a more laborious and a more belaboured
one, a hungrier and thirstier, a wretcheder, raggeder, and lousier;
for there is no reason to doubt that the knights-errant of yore
endured much hardship in the course of their lives. And if some of
them by the might of their arms did rise to be emperors, in faith it
cost them dear in the matter of blood and sweat; and if those who
attained to that rank had not had magicians and sages to help them
they would have been completely baulked in their ambition and
disappointed in their hopes."
  "That is my own opinion," replied the traveller; "but one thing
among many others seems to me very wrong in knights-errant, and that
is that when they find themselves about to engage in some mighty and
perilous adventure in which there is manifest danger of losing their
lives, they never at the moment of engaging in it think of
commending themselves to God, as is the duty of every good Christian
in like peril; instead of which they commend themselves to their
ladies with as much devotion as if these were their gods, a thing
which seems to me to savour somewhat of heathenism."
  "Sir," answered Don Quixote, "that cannot be on any account omitted,
and the knight-errant would be disgraced who acted otherwise: for it
is usual and customary in knight-errantry that the knight-errant,
who on engaging in any great feat of arms has his lady before him,
should turn his eyes towards her softly and lovingly, as though with
them entreating her to favour and protect him in the hazardous venture
he is about to undertake, and even though no one hear him, he is bound
to say certain words between his teeth, commending himself to her with
all his heart, and of this we have innumerable instances in the
histories. Nor is it to be supposed from this that they are to omit
commending themselves to God, for there will be time and opportunity
for doing so while they are engaged in their task."
  "For all that," answered the traveller, "I feel some doubt still,
because often I have read how words will arise between two
knights-errant, and from one thing to another it comes about that
their anger kindles and they wheel their horses round and take a
good stretch of field, and then without any more ado at the top of
their speed they come to the charge, and in mid-career they are wont
to commend themselves to their ladies; and what commonly comes of
the encounter is that one falls over the haunches of his horse pierced
through and through by his antagonist's lance, and as for the other,
it is only by holding on to the mane of his horse that he can help
falling to the ground; but I know not how the dead man had time to
commend himself to God in the course of such rapid work as this; it
would have been better if those words which he spent in commending
himself to his lady in the midst of his career had been devoted to his
duty and obligation as a Christian. Moreover, it is my belief that all
knights-errant have not ladies to commend themselves to, for they
are not all in love."
  "That is impossible," said Don Quixote: "I say it is impossible that
there could be a knight-errant without a lady, because to such it is
as natural and proper to be in love as to the heavens to have stars:
most certainly no history has been seen in which there is to be
found a knight-errant without an amour, and for the simple reason that
without one he would be held no legitimate knight but a bastard, and
one who had gained entrance into the stronghold of the said
knighthood, not by the door, but over the wall like a thief and a
robber."
  "Nevertheless," said the traveller, "if I remember rightly, I
think I have read that Don Galaor, the brother of the valiant Amadis
of Gaul, never had any special lady to whom he might commend
himself, and yet he was not the less esteemed, and was a very stout
and famous knight."
  To which our Don Quixote made answer, "Sir, one solitary swallow
does not make summer; moreover, I know that knight was in secret
very deeply in love; besides which, that way of falling in love with
all that took his fancy was a natural propensity which he could not
control. But, in short, it is very manifest that he had one alone whom
he made mistress of his will, to whom he commended himself very
frequently and very secretly, for he prided himself on being a
reticent knight."
  "Then if it be essential that every knight-errant should be in
love," said the traveller, "it may be fairly supposed that your
worship is so, as you are of the order; and if you do not pride
yourself on being as reticent as Don Galaor, I entreat you as
earnestly as I can, in the name of all this company and in my own,
to inform us of the name, country, rank, and beauty of your lady,
for she will esteem herself fortunate if all the world knows that
she is loved and served by such a knight as your worship seems to be."
  At this Don Quixote heaved a deep sigh and said, "I cannot say
positively whether my sweet enemy is pleased or not that the world
should know I serve her; I can only say in answer to what has been
so courteously asked of me, that her name is Dulcinea, her country
El Toboso, a village of La Mancha, her rank must be at least that of a
princess, since she is my queen and lady, and her beauty superhuman,
since all the impossible and fanciful attributes of beauty which the
poets apply to their ladies are verified in her; for her hairs are
gold, her forehead Elysian fields, her eyebrows rainbows, her eyes
suns, her cheeks roses, her lips coral, her teeth pearls, her neck
alabaster, her bosom marble, her hands ivory, her fairness snow, and
what modesty conceals from sight such, I think and imagine, as
rational reflection can only extol, not compare."
  "We should like to know her lineage, race, and ancestry," said
Vivaldo.
  To which Don Quixote replied, "She is not of the ancient Roman
Curtii, Caii, or Scipios, nor of the modern Colonnas or Orsini, nor of
the Moncadas or Requesenes of Catalonia, nor yet of the Rebellas or
Villanovas of Valencia; Palafoxes, Nuzas, Rocabertis, Corellas, Lunas,
Alagones, Urreas, Foces, or Gurreas of Aragon; Cerdas, Manriques,
Mendozas, or Guzmans of Castile; Alencastros, Pallas, or Meneses of
Portugal; but she is of those of El Toboso of La Mancha, a lineage
that though modern, may furnish a source of gentle blood for the
most illustrious families of the ages that are to come, and this let
none dispute with me save on the condition that Zerbino placed at
the foot of the trophy of Orlando's arms, saying,

      'These let none move
      Who dareth not his might with Roland prove.'"

  "Although mine is of the Cachopins of Laredo," said the traveller,
"I will not venture to compare it with that of El Toboso of La Mancha,
though, to tell the truth, no such surname has until now ever
reached my ears."
  "What!" said Don Quixote, "has that never reached them?"
  The rest of the party went along listening with great attention to
the conversation of the pair, and even the very goatherds and
shepherds perceived how exceedingly out of his wits our Don Quixote
was. Sancho Panza alone thought that what his master said was the
truth, knowing who he was and having known him from his birth; and all
that he felt any difficulty in believing was that about the fair
Dulcinea del Toboso, because neither any such name nor any such
princess had ever come to his knowledge though he lived so close to El
Toboso. They were going along conversing in this way, when they saw
descending a gap between two high mountains some twenty shepherds, all
clad in sheepskins of black wool, and crowned with garlands which,
as afterwards appeared, were, some of them of yew, some of cypress.
Six of the number were carrying a bier covered with a great variety of
flowers and branches, on seeing which one of the goatherds said,
"Those who come there are the bearers of Chrysostom's body, and the
foot of that mountain is the place where he ordered them to bury him."
They therefore made haste to reach the spot, and did so by the time
those who came had laid the bier upon the ground, and four of them
with sharp pickaxes were digging a grave by the side of a hard rock.
They greeted each other courteously, and then Don Quixote and those
who accompanied him turned to examine the bier, and on it, covered
with flowers, they saw a dead body in the dress of a shepherd, to
all appearance of one thirty years of age, and showing even in death
that in life he had been of comely features and gallant bearing.
Around him on the bier itself were laid some books, and several papers
open and folded; and those who were looking on as well as those who
were opening the grave and all the others who were there preserved a
strange silence, until one of those who had borne the body said to
another, "Observe carefully, Ambrosia if this is the place
Chrysostom spoke of, since you are anxious that what he directed in
his will should be so strictly complied with."
  "This is the place," answered Ambrosia "for in it many a time did my
poor friend tell me the story of his hard fortune. Here it was, he
told me, that he saw for the first time that mortal enemy of the human
race, and here, too, for the first time he declared to her his
passion, as honourable as it was devoted, and here it was that at last
Marcela ended by scorning and rejecting him so as to bring the tragedy
of his wretched life to a close; here, in memory of misfortunes so
great, he desired to be laid in the bowels of eternal oblivion."
Then turning to Don Quixote and the travellers he went on to say,
"That body, sirs, on which you are looking with compassionate eyes,
was the abode of a soul on which Heaven bestowed a vast share of its
riches. That is the body of Chrysostom, who was unrivalled in wit,
unequalled in courtesy, unapproached in gentle bearing, a phoenix in
friendship, generous without limit, grave without arrogance, gay
without vulgarity, and, in short, first in all that constitutes
goodness and second to none in all that makes up misfortune. He
loved deeply, he was hated; he adored, he was scorned; he wooed a wild
beast, he pleaded with marble, he pursued the wind, he cried to the
wilderness, he served ingratitude, and for reward was made the prey of
death in the mid-course of life, cut short by a shepherdess whom he
sought to immortalise in the memory of man, as these papers which
you see could fully prove, had he not commanded me to consign them
to the fire after having consigned his body to the earth."
  "You would deal with them more harshly and cruelly than their
owner himself," said Vivaldo, "for it is neither right nor proper to
do the will of one who enjoins what is wholly unreasonable; it would
not have been reasonable in Augustus Caesar had he permitted the
directions left by the divine Mantuan in his will to be carried into
effect. So that, Senor Ambrosia while you consign your friend's body
to the earth, you should not consign his writings to oblivion, for
if he gave the order in bitterness of heart, it is not right that
you should irrationally obey it. On the contrary, by granting life
to those papers, let the cruelty of Marcela live for ever, to serve as
a warning in ages to come to all men to shun and avoid falling into
like danger; or I and all of us who have come here know already the
story of this your love-stricken and heart-broken friend, and we know,
too, your friendship, and the cause of his death, and the directions
he gave at the close of his life; from which sad story may be gathered
how great was the cruelty of Marcela, the love of Chrysostom, and
the loyalty of your friendship, together with the end awaiting those
who pursue rashly the path that insane passion opens to their eyes.
Last night we learned the death of Chrysostom and that he was to be
buried here, and out of curiosity and pity we left our direct road and
resolved to come and see with our eyes that which when heard of had so
moved our compassion, and in consideration of that compassion and
our desire to prove it if we might by condolence, we beg of you,
excellent Ambrosia, or at least I on my own account entreat you,
that instead of burning those papers you allow me to carry away some
of them."
  And without waiting for the shepherd's answer, he stretched out
his hand and took up some of those that were nearest to him; seeing
which Ambrosio said, "Out of courtesy, senor, I will grant your
request as to those you have taken, but it is idle to expect me to
abstain from burning the remainder."
  Vivaldo, who was eager to see what the papers contained, opened
one of them at once, and saw that its title was "Lay of Despair."
  Ambrosio hearing it said, "That is the last paper the unhappy man
wrote; and that you may see, senor, to what an end his misfortunes
brought him, read it so that you may be heard, for you will have
time enough for that while we are waiting for the grave to be dug."
  "I will do so very willingly," said Vivaldo; and as all the
bystanders were equally eager they gathered round him, and he, reading
in a loud voice, found that it ran as follows.
  CHAPTER XIV
  WHEREIN ARE INSERTED THE DESPAIRING VERSES OF THE DEAD SHEPHERD,
TOGETHER WITH OTHER INCIDENTS NOT LOOKED FOR

             THE LAY OF CHRYSOSTOM

    Since thou dost in thy cruelty desire
  The ruthless rigour of thy tyranny
  From tongue to tongue, from land to land proclaimed,
  The very Hell will I constrain to lend
  This stricken breast of mine deep notes of woe
  To serve my need of fitting utterance.
  And as I strive to body forth the tale
  Of all I suffer, all that thou hast done,
  Forth shall the dread voice roll, and bear along
  Shreds from my vitals torn for greater pain.
  Then listen, not to dulcet harmony,
  But to a discord wrung by mad despair
  Out of this bosom's depths of bitterness,
  To ease my heart and plant a sting in thine.

    The lion's roar, the fierce wolf's savage howl,
  The horrid hissing of the scaly snake,
  The awesome cries of monsters yet unnamed,
  The crow's ill-boding croak, the hollow moan
  Of wild winds wrestling with the restless sea,
  The wrathful bellow of the vanquished bull,
  The plaintive sobbing of the widowed dove,
  The envied owl's sad note, the wail of woe
  That rises from the dreary choir of Hell,
  Commingled in one sound, confusing sense,
  Let all these come to aid my soul's complaint,
  For pain like mine demands new modes of song.

    No echoes of that discord shall be heard
  Where Father Tagus rolls, or on the banks
  Of olive-bordered Betis; to the rocks
  Or in deep caverns shall my plaint be told,
  And by a lifeless tongue in living words;
  Or in dark valleys or on lonely shores,
  Where neither foot of man nor sunbeam falls;
  Or in among the poison-breathing swarms
  Of monsters nourished by the sluggish Nile.
  For, though it be to solitudes remote
  The hoarse vague echoes of my sorrows sound
  Thy matchless cruelty, my dismal fate
  Shall carry them to all the spacious world.

    Disdain hath power to kill, and patience dies
  Slain by suspicion, be it false or true;
  And deadly is the force of jealousy;
  Long absence makes of life a dreary void;
  No hope of happiness can give repose
  To him that ever fears to be forgot;
  And death, inevitable, waits in hall.
  But I, by some strange miracle, live on
  A prey to absence, jealousy, disdain;
  Racked by suspicion as by certainty;
  Forgotten, left to feed my flame alone.
  And while I suffer thus, there comes no ray
  Of hope to gladden me athwart the gloom;
  Nor do I look for it in my despair;
  But rather clinging to a cureless woe,
  All hope do I abjure for evermore.

    Can there be hope where fear is? Were it well,
  When far more certain are the grounds of fear?
  Ought I to shut mine eyes to jealousy,
  If through a thousand heart-wounds it appears?
  Who would not give free access to distrust,
  Seeing disdain unveiled, and- bitter change!-
  All his suspicions turned to certainties,
  And the fair truth transformed into a lie?
  Oh, thou fierce tyrant of the realms of love,
  Oh, Jealousy! put chains upon these hands,
  And bind me with thy strongest cord, Disdain.
  But, woe is me! triumphant over all,
  My sufferings drown the memory of you.

    And now I die, and since there is no hope
  Of happiness for me in life or death,
  Still to my fantasy I'll fondly cling.
  I'll say that he is wise who loveth well,
  And that the soul most free is that most bound
  In thraldom to the ancient tyrant Love.
  I'll say that she who is mine enemy
  In that fair body hath as fair a mind,
  And that her coldness is but my desert,
  And that by virtue of the pain be sends
  Love rules his kingdom with a gentle sway.
  Thus, self-deluding, and in bondage sore,
  And wearing out the wretched shred of life
  To which I am reduced by her disdain,
  I'll give this soul and body to the winds,
  All hopeless of a crown of bliss in store.

    Thou whose injustice hath supplied the cause
  That makes me quit the weary life I loathe,
  As by this wounded bosom thou canst see
  How willingly thy victim I become,
  Let not my death, if haply worth a tear,
  Cloud the clear heaven that dwells in thy bright eyes;
  I would not have thee expiate in aught
  The crime of having made my heart thy prey;
  But rather let thy laughter gaily ring
  And prove my death to be thy festival.
  Fool that I am to bid thee! well I know
  Thy glory gains by my untimely end.

    And now it is the time; from Hell's abyss
  Come thirsting Tantalus, come Sisyphus
  Heaving the cruel stone, come Tityus
  With vulture, and with wheel Ixion come,
  And come the sisters of the ceaseless toil;
  And all into this breast transfer their pains,
  And (if such tribute to despair be due)
  Chant in their deepest tones a doleful dirge
  Over a corse unworthy of a shroud.
  Let the three-headed guardian of the gate,
  And all the monstrous progeny of hell,
  The doleful concert join: a lover dead
  Methinks can have no fitter obsequies.

    Lay of despair, grieve not when thou art gone
  Forth from this sorrowing heart: my misery
  Brings fortune to the cause that gave thee birth;
  Then banish sadness even in the tomb.

  The "Lay of Chrysostom" met with the approbation of the listeners,
though the reader said it did not seem to him to agree with what he
had heard of Marcela's reserve and propriety, for Chrysostom
complained in it of jealousy, suspicion, and absence, all to the
prejudice of the good name and fame of Marcela; to which Ambrosio
replied as one who knew well his friend's most secret thoughts,
"Senor, to remove that doubt I should tell you that when the unhappy
man wrote this lay he was away from Marcela, from whom be had
voluntarily separated himself, to try if absence would act with him as
it is wont; and as everything distresses and every fear haunts the
banished lover, so imaginary jealousies and suspicions, dreaded as
if they were true, tormented Chrysostom; and thus the truth of what
report declares of the virtue of Marcela remains unshaken, and with
her envy itself should not and cannot find any fault save that of
being cruel, somewhat haughty, and very scornful."
  "That is true," said Vivaldo; and as he was about to read another
paper of those he had preserved from the fire, he was stopped by a
marvellous vision (for such it seemed) that unexpectedly presented
itself to their eyes; for on the summit of the rock where they were
digging the grave there appeared the shepherdess Marcela, so beautiful
that her beauty exceeded its reputation. Those who had never till then
beheld her gazed upon her in wonder and silence, and those who were
accustomed to see her were not less amazed than those who had never
seen her before. But the instant Ambrosio saw her he addressed her,
with manifest indignation:
  "Art thou come, by chance, cruel basilisk of these mountains, to see
if in thy presence blood will flow from the wounds of this wretched
being thy cruelty has robbed of life; or is it to exult over the cruel
work of thy humours that thou art come; or like another pitiless
Nero to look down from that height upon the ruin of his Rome in
embers; or in thy arrogance to trample on this ill-fated corpse, as
the ungrateful daughter trampled on her father Tarquin's? Tell us
quickly for what thou art come, or what it is thou wouldst have,
for, as I know the thoughts of Chrysostom never failed to obey thee in
life, I will make all these who call themselves his friends obey thee,
though he be dead."
  "I come not, Ambrosia for any of the purposes thou hast named,"
replied Marcela, "but to defend myself and to prove how unreasonable
are all those who blame me for their sorrow and for Chrysostom's
death; and therefore I ask all of you that are here to give me your
attention, for will not take much time or many words to bring the
truth home to persons of sense. Heaven has made me, so you say,
beautiful, and so much so that in spite of yourselves my beauty
leads you to love me; and for the love you show me you say, and even
urge, that I am bound to love you. By that natural understanding which
God has given me I know that everything beautiful attracts love, but I
cannot see how, by reason of being loved, that which is loved for
its beauty is bound to love that which loves it; besides, it may
happen that the lover of that which is beautiful may be ugly, and
ugliness being detestable, it is very absurd to say, "I love thee
because thou art beautiful, thou must love me though I be ugly." But
supposing the beauty equal on both sides, it does not follow that
the inclinations must be therefore alike, for it is not every beauty
that excites love, some but pleasing the eye without winning the
affection; and if every sort of beauty excited love and won the heart,
the will would wander vaguely to and fro unable to make choice of any;
for as there is an infinity of beautiful objects there must be an
infinity of inclinations, and true love, I have heard it said, is
indivisible, and must be voluntary and not compelled. If this be so,
as I believe it to be, why do you desire me to bend my will by
force, for no other reason but that you say you love me? Nay- tell me-
had Heaven made me ugly, as it has made me beautiful, could I with
justice complain of you for not loving me? Moreover, you must remember
that the beauty I possess was no choice of mine, for, be it what it
may, Heaven of its bounty gave it me without my asking or choosing it;
and as the viper, though it kills with it, does not deserve to be
blamed for the poison it carries, as it is a gift of nature, neither
do I deserve reproach for being beautiful; for beauty in a modest
woman is like fire at a distance or a sharp sword; the one does not
burn, the other does not cut, those who do not come too near. Honour
and virtue are the ornaments of the mind, without which the body,
though it be so, has no right to pass for beautiful; but if modesty is
one of the virtues that specially lend a grace and charm to mind and
body, why should she who is loved for her beauty part with it to
gratify one who for his pleasure alone strives with all his might
and energy to rob her of it? I was born free, and that I might live in
freedom I chose the solitude of the fields; in the trees of the
mountains I find society, the clear waters of the brooks are my
mirrors, and to the trees and waters I make known my thoughts and
charms. I am a fire afar off, a sword laid aside. Those whom I have
inspired with love by letting them see me, I have by words undeceived,
and if their longings live on hope- and I have given none to
Chrysostom or to any other- it cannot justly be said that the death of
any is my doing, for it was rather his own obstinacy than my cruelty
that killed him; and if it be made a charge against me that his wishes
were honourable, and that therefore I was bound to yield to them, I
answer that when on this very spot where now his grave is made he
declared to me his purity of purpose, I told him that mine was to live
in perpetual solitude, and that the earth alone should enjoy the
fruits of my retirement and the spoils of my beauty; and if, after
this open avowal, he chose to persist against hope and steer against
the wind, what wonder is it that he should sink in the depths of his
infatuation? If I had encouraged him, I should be false; if I had
gratified him, I should have acted against my own better resolution
and purpose. He was persistent in spite of warning, he despaired
without being hated. Bethink you now if it be reasonable that his
suffering should be laid to my charge. Let him who has been deceived
complain, let him give way to despair whose encouraged hopes have
proved vain, let him flatter himself whom I shall entice, let him
boast whom I shall receive; but let not him call me cruel or
homicide to whom I make no promise, upon whom I practise no deception,
whom I neither entice nor receive. It has not been so far the will
of Heaven that I should love by fate, and to expect me to love by
choice is idle. Let this general declaration serve for each of my
suitors on his own account, and let it be understood from this time
forth that if anyone dies for me it is not of jealousy or misery he
dies, for she who loves no one can give no cause for jealousy to
any, and candour is not to be confounded with scorn. Let him who calls
me wild beast and basilisk, leave me alone as something noxious and
evil; let him who calls me ungrateful, withhold his service; who calls
me wayward, seek not my acquaintance; who calls me cruel, pursue me
not; for this wild beast, this basilisk, this ungrateful, cruel,
wayward being has no kind of desire to seek, serve, know, or follow
them. If Chrysostom's impatience and violent passion killed him, why
should my modest behaviour and circumspection be blamed? If I preserve
my purity in the society of the trees, why should he who would have me
preserve it among men, seek to rob me of it? I have, as you know,
wealth of my own, and I covet not that of others; my taste is for
freedom, and I have no relish for constraint; I neither love nor
hate anyone; I do not deceive this one or court that, or trifle with
one or play with another. The modest converse of the shepherd girls of
these hamlets and the care of my goats are my recreations; my
desires are bounded by these mountains, and if they ever wander
hence it is to contemplate the beauty of the heavens, steps by which
the soul travels to its primeval abode."
  With these words, and not waiting to hear a reply, she turned and
passed into the thickest part of a wood that was hard by, leaving
all who were there lost in admiration as much of her good sense as
of her beauty. Some- those wounded by the irresistible shafts launched
by her bright eyes- made as though they would follow her, heedless
of the frank declaration they had heard; seeing which, and deeming
this a fitting occasion for the exercise of his chivalry in aid of
distressed damsels, Don Quixote, laying his hand on the hilt of his
sword, exclaimed in a loud and distinct voice:
  "Let no one, whatever his rank or condition, dare to follow the
beautiful Marcela, under pain of incurring my fierce indignation.
She has shown by clear and satisfactory arguments that little or no
fault is to be found with her for the death of Chrysostom, and also
how far she is from yielding to the wishes of any of her lovers, for
which reason, instead of being followed and persecuted, she should
in justice be honoured and esteemed by all the good people of the
world, for she shows that she is the only woman in it that holds to
such a virtuous resolution."
  Whether it was because of the threats of Don Quixote, or because
Ambrosio told them to fulfil their duty to their good friend, none
of the shepherds moved or stirred from the spot until, having finished
the grave and burned Chrysostom's papers, they laid his body in it,
not without many tears from those who stood by. They closed the
grave with a heavy stone until a slab was ready which Ambrosio said he
meant to have prepared, with an epitaph which was to be to this
effect:

         Beneath the stone before your eyes
         The body of a lover lies;
         In life he was a shepherd swain,
         In death a victim to disdain.
         Ungrateful, cruel, coy, and fair,
         Was she that drove him to despair,
         And Love hath made her his ally
         For spreading wide his tyranny.

They then strewed upon the grave a profusion of flowers and
branches, and all expressing their condolence with his friend
ambrosio, took their Vivaldo and his companion did the same; and Don
Quixote bade farewell to his hosts and to the travellers, who
pressed him to come with them to Seville, as being such a convenient
place for finding adventures, for they presented themselves in every
street and round every corner oftener than anywhere else. Don
Quixote thanked them for their advice and for the disposition they
showed to do him a favour, and said that for the present he would not,
and must not go to Seville until he had cleared all these mountains of
highwaymen and robbers, of whom report said they were full. Seeing his
good intention, the travellers were unwilling to press him further,
and once more bidding him farewell, they left him and pursued their
journey, in the course of which they did not fail to discuss the story
of Marcela and Chrysostom as well as the madness of Don Quixote. He,
on his part, resolved to go in quest of the shepherdess Marcela, and
make offer to her of all the service he could render her; but things
did not fall out with him as he expected, according to what is related
in the course of this veracious history, of which the Second Part ends
here.
  CHAPTER XV
  IN WHICH IS RELATED THE UNFORTUNATE ADVENTURE THAT DON QUIXOTE
FELL IN WITH WHEN HE FELL OUT WITH CERTAIN HEARTLESS YANGUESANS

  THE sage Cide Hamete Benengeli relates that as soon as Don Quixote
took leave of his hosts and all who had been present at the burial
of Chrysostom, he and his squire passed into the same wood which
they had seen the shepherdess Marcela enter, and after having wandered
for more than two hours in all directions in search of her without
finding her, they came to a halt in a glade covered with tender grass,
beside which ran a pleasant cool stream that invited and compelled
them to pass there the hours of the noontide heat, which by this
time was beginning to come on oppressively. Don Quixote and Sancho
dismounted, and turning Rocinante and the ass loose to feed on the
grass that was there in abundance, they ransacked the alforjas, and
without any ceremony very peacefully and sociably master and man
made their repast on what they found in them. Sancho had not thought
it worth while to hobble Rocinante, feeling sure, from what he knew of
his staidness and freedom from incontinence, that all the mares in the
Cordova pastures would not lead him into an impropriety. Chance,
however, and the devil, who is not always asleep, so ordained it
that feeding in this valley there was a drove of Galician ponies
belonging to certain Yanguesan carriers, whose way it is to take their
midday rest with their teams in places and spots where grass and water
abound; and that where Don Quixote chanced to be suited the
Yanguesans' purpose very well. It so happened, then, that Rocinante
took a fancy to disport himself with their ladyships the ponies, and
abandoning his usual gait and demeanour as he scented them, he,
without asking leave of his master, got up a briskish little trot
and hastened to make known his wishes to them; they, however, it
seemed, preferred their pasture to him, and received him with their
heels and teeth to such effect that they soon broke his girths and
left him naked without a saddle to cover him; but what must have
been worse to him was that the carriers, seeing the violence he was
offering to their mares, came running up armed with stakes, and so
belaboured him that they brought him sorely battered to the ground.
  By this time Don Quixote and Sancho, who had witnessed the
drubbing of Rocinante, came up panting, and said Don Quixote to
Sancho:
  "So far as I can see, friend Sancho, these are not knights but
base folk of low birth: I mention it because thou canst lawfully aid
me in taking due vengeance for the insult offered to Rocinante
before our eyes."
  "What the devil vengeance can we take," answered Sancho, "if they
are more than twenty, and we no more than two, or, indeed, perhaps not
more than one and a half?"
  "I count for a hundred," replied Don Quixote, and without more words
he drew his sword and attacked the Yanguesans and excited and impelled
by the example of his master, Sancho did the same; and to begin
with, Don Quixote delivered a slash at one of them that laid open
the leather jerkin he wore, together with a great portion of his
shoulder. The Yanguesans, seeing themselves assaulted by only two
men while they were so many, betook themselves to their stakes, and
driving the two into the middle they began to lay on with great zeal
and energy; in fact, at the second blow they brought Sancho to the
ground, and Don Quixote fared the same way, all his skill and high
mettle availing him nothing, and fate willed it that he should fall at
the feet of Rocinante, who had not yet risen; whereby it may be seen
how furiously stakes can pound in angry boorish hands. Then, seeing
the mischief they had done, the Yanguesans with all the haste they
could loaded their team and pursued their journey, leaving the two
adventurers a sorry sight and in sorrier mood.
  Sancho was the first to come to, and finding himself close to his
master he called to him in a weak and doleful voice, "Senor Don
Quixote, ah, Senor Don Quixote!"
  "What wouldst thou, brother Sancho?" answered Don Quixote in the
same feeble suffering tone as Sancho.
  "I would like, if it were possible," answered Sancho Panza, "your
worship to give me a couple of sups of that potion of the fiery
Blas, if it be that you have any to hand there; perhaps it will
serve for broken bones as well as for wounds."
  "If I only had it here, wretch that I am, what more should we want?"
said Don Quixote; "but I swear to thee, Sancho Panza, on the faith
of a knight-errant, ere two days are over, unless fortune orders
otherwise, I mean to have it in my possession, or my hand will have
lost its cunning."
  "But in how many does your worship think we shall have the use of
our feet?" answered Sancho Panza.
  "For myself I must say I cannot guess how many," said the battered
knight Don Quixote; "but I take all the blame upon myself, for I had
no business to put hand to sword against men who where not dubbed
knights like myself, and so I believe that in punishment for having
transgressed the laws of chivalry the God of battles has permitted
this chastisement to be administered to me; for which reason,
brother Sancho, it is well thou shouldst receive a hint on the
matter which I am now about to mention to thee, for it is of much
importance to the welfare of both of us. It is at when thou shalt
see rabble of this sort offering us insult thou art not to wait till I
draw sword against them, for I shall not do so at all; but do thou
draw sword and chastise them to thy heart's content, and if any
knights come to their aid and defence I will take care to defend
thee and assail them with all my might; and thou hast already seen
by a thousand signs and proofs what the might of this strong arm of
mine is equal to"- so uplifted had the poor gentleman become through
the victory over the stout Biscayan.
  But Sancho did not so fully approve of his master's admonition as to
let it pass without saying in reply, "Senor, I am a man of peace, meek
and quiet, and I can put up with any affront because I have a wife and
children to support and bring up; so let it be likewise a hint to your
worship, as it cannot be a mandate, that on no account will I draw
sword either against clown or against knight, and that here before God
I forgive the insults that have been offered me, whether they have
been, are, or shall be offered me by high or low, rich or poor,
noble or commoner, not excepting any rank or condition whatsoever."
  To all which his master said in reply, "I wish I had breath enough
to speak somewhat easily, and that the pain I feel on this side
would abate so as to let me explain to thee, Panza, the mistake thou
makest. Come now, sinner, suppose the wind of fortune, hitherto so
adverse, should turn in our favour, filling the sails of our desires
so that safely and without impediment we put into port in some one
of those islands I have promised thee, how would it be with thee if on
winning it I made thee lord of it? Why, thou wilt make it well-nigh
impossible through not being a knight nor having any desire to be one,
nor possessing the courage nor the will to avenge insults or defend
thy lordship; for thou must know that in newly conquered kingdoms
and provinces the minds of the inhabitants are never so quiet nor so
well disposed to the new lord that there is no fear of their making
some move to change matters once more, and try, as they say, what
chance may do for them; so it is essential that the new possessor
should have good sense to enable him to govern, and valour to attack
and defend himself, whatever may befall him."
  "In what has now befallen us," answered Sancho, "I'd have been
well pleased to have that good sense and that valour your worship
speaks of, but I swear on the faith of a poor man I am more fit for
plasters than for arguments. See if your worship can get up, and let
us help Rocinante, though he does not deserve it, for he was the
main cause of all this thrashing. I never thought it of Rocinante, for
I took him to be a virtuous person and as quiet as myself. After
all, they say right that it takes a long time to come to know
people, and that there is nothing sure in this life. Who would have
said that, after such mighty slashes as your worship gave that unlucky
knight-errant, there was coming, travelling post and at the very heels
of them, such a great storm of sticks as has fallen upon our
shoulders?"
  "And yet thine, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "ought to be used to
such squalls; but mine, reared in soft cloth and fine linen, it is
plain they must feel more keenly the pain of this mishap, and if it
were not that I imagine- why do I say imagine?- know of a certainty
that all these annoyances are very necessary accompaniments of the
calling of arms, I would lay me down here to die of pure vexation."
  To this the squire replied, "Senor, as these mishaps are what one
reaps of chivalry, tell me if they happen very often, or if they
have their own fixed times for coming to pass; because it seems to
me that after two harvests we shall be no good for the third, unless
God in his infinite mercy helps us."
  "Know, friend Sancho," answered Don Quixote, "that the life of
knights-errant is subject to a thousand dangers and reverses, and
neither more nor less is it within immediate possibility for
knights-errant to become kings and emperors, as experience has shown
in the case of many different knights with whose histories I am
thoroughly acquainted; and I could tell thee now, if the pain would
let me, of some who simply by might of arm have risen to the high
stations I have mentioned; and those same, both before and after,
experienced divers misfortunes and miseries; for the valiant Amadis of
Gaul found himself in the power of his mortal enemy Arcalaus the
magician, who, it is positively asserted, holding him captive, gave
him more than two hundred lashes with the reins of his horse while
tied to one of the pillars of a court; and moreover there is a certain
recondite author of no small authority who says that the Knight of
Phoebus, being caught in a certain pitfall, which opened under his
feet in a certain castle, on falling found himself bound hand and foot
in a deep pit underground, where they administered to him one of those
things they call clysters, of sand and snow-water, that well-nigh
finished him; and if he had not been succoured in that sore
extremity by a sage, a great friend of his, it would have gone very
hard with the poor knight; so I may well suffer in company with such
worthy folk, for greater were the indignities which they had to suffer
than those which we suffer. For I would have thee know, Sancho, that
wounds caused by any instruments which happen by chance to be in
hand inflict no indignity, and this is laid down in the law of the
duel in express words: if, for instance, the cobbler strikes another
with the last which he has in his hand, though it be in fact a piece
of wood, it cannot be said for that reason that he whom he struck with
it has been cudgelled. I say this lest thou shouldst imagine that
because we have been drubbed in this affray we have therefore suffered
any indignity; for the arms those men carried, with which they pounded
us, were nothing more than their stakes, and not one of them, so far
as I remember, carried rapier, sword, or dagger."
  "They gave me no time to see that much," answered Sancho, "for
hardly had I laid hand on my tizona when they signed the cross on my
shoulders with their sticks in such style that they took the sight out
of my eyes and the strength out of my feet, stretching me where I
now lie, and where thinking of whether all those stake-strokes were an
indignity or not gives me no uneasiness, which the pain of the blows
does, for they will remain as deeply impressed on my memory as on my
shoulders."
  "For all that let me tell thee, brother Panza," said Don Quixote,
"that there is no recollection which time does not put an end to,
and no pain which death does not remove."
  "And what greater misfortune can there be," replied Panza, "than the
one that waits for time to put an end to it and death to remove it? If
our mishap were one of those that are cured with a couple of plasters,
it would not be so bad; but I am beginning to think that all the
plasters in a hospital almost won't be enough to put us right."
  "No more of that: pluck strength out of weakness, Sancho, as I
mean to do," returned Don Quixote, "and let us see how Rocinante is,
for it seems to me that not the least share of this mishap has
fallen to the lot of the poor beast."
  "There is nothing wonderful in that," replied Sancho, "since he is a
knight-errant too; what I wonder at is that my beast should have
come off scot-free where we come out scotched."
  "Fortune always leaves a door open in adversity in order to bring
relief to it," said Don Quixote; "I say so because this little beast
may now supply the want of Rocinante, carrying me hence to some castle
where I may be cured of my wounds. And moreover I shall not hold it
any dishonour to be so mounted, for I remember having read how the
good old Silenus, the tutor and instructor of the gay god of laughter,
when he entered the city of the hundred gates, went very contentedly
mounted on a handsome ass."
  "It may be true that he went mounted as your worship says," answered
Sancho, "but there is a great difference between going mounted and
going slung like a sack of manure."
  To which Don Quixote replied, "Wounds received in battle confer
honour instead of taking it away; and so, friend Panza, say no more,
but, as I told thee before, get up as well as thou canst and put me on
top of thy beast in whatever fashion pleases thee best, and let us
go hence ere night come on and surprise us in these wilds."
  "And yet I have heard your worship say," observed Panza, "that it is
very meet for knights-errant to sleep in wastes and deserts, and
that they esteem it very good fortune."
  "That is," said Don Quixote, "when they cannot help it, or when they
are in love; and so true is this that there have been knights who have
remained two years on rocks, in sunshine and shade and all the
inclemencies of heaven, without their ladies knowing anything of it;
and one of these was Amadis, when, under the name of Beltenebros, he
took up his abode on the Pena Pobre for -I know not if it was eight
years or eight months, for I am not very sure of the reckoning; at any
rate he stayed there doing penance for I know not what pique the
Princess Oriana had against him; but no more of this now, Sancho,
and make haste before a mishap like Rocinante's befalls the ass."
  "The very devil would be in it in that case," said Sancho; and
letting off thirty "ohs," and sixty sighs, and a hundred and twenty
maledictions and execrations on whomsoever it was that had brought him
there, he raised himself, stopping half-way bent like a Turkish bow
without power to bring himself upright, but with all his pains he
saddled his ass, who too had gone astray somewhat, yielding to the
excessive licence of the day; he next raised up Rocinante, and as
for him, had he possessed a tongue to complain with, most assuredly
neither Sancho nor his master would have been behind him. To be brief,
Sancho fixed Don Quixote on the ass and secured Rocinante with a
leading rein, and taking the ass by the halter, he proceeded more or
less in the direction in which it seemed to him the high road might
be; and, as chance was conducting their affairs for them from good
to better, he had not gone a short league when the road came in sight,
and on it he perceived an inn, which to his annoyance and to the
delight of Don Quixote must needs be a castle. Sancho insisted that it
was an inn, and his master that it was not one, but a castle, and
the dispute lasted so long that before the point was settled they
had time to reach it, and into it Sancho entered with all his team
without any further controversy.
  CHAPTER XVI
  OF WHAT HAPPENED TO THE INGENIOUS GENTLEMAN IN THE INN WHICH HE TOOK
TO BE A CASTLE

  THE innkeeper, seeing Don Quixote slung across the ass, asked Sancho
what was amiss with him. Sancho answered that it was nothing, only
that he had fallen down from a rock and had his ribs a little bruised.
The innkeeper had a wife whose disposition was not such as those of
her calling commonly have, for she was by nature kind-hearted and felt
for the sufferings of her neighbours, so she at once set about tending
Don Quixote, and made her young daughter, a very comely girl, help her
in taking care of her guest. There was besides in the inn, as servant,
an Asturian lass with a broad face, flat poll, and snub nose, blind of
one eye and not very sound in the other. The elegance of her shape, to
be sure, made up for all her defects; she did not measure seven
palms from head to foot, and her shoulders, which overweighted her
somewhat, made her contemplate the ground more than she liked. This
graceful lass, then, helped the young girl, and the two made up a very
bad bed for Don Quixote in a garret that showed evident signs of
having formerly served for many years as a straw-loft, in which
there was also quartered a carrier whose bed was placed a little
beyond our Don Quixote's, and, though only made of the pack-saddles
and cloths of his mules, had much the advantage of it, as Don
Quixote's consisted simply of four rough boards on two not very even
trestles, a mattress, that for thinness might have passed for a quilt,
full of pellets which, were they not seen through the rents to be
wool, would to the touch have seemed pebbles in hardness, two sheets
made of buckler leather, and a coverlet the threads of which anyone
that chose might have counted without missing one in the reckoning.
  On this accursed bed Don Quixote stretched himself, and the
hostess and her daughter soon covered him with plasters from top to
toe, while Maritornes- for that was the name of the Asturian- held the
light for them, and while plastering him, the hostess, observing how
full of wheals Don Quixote was in some places, remarked that this
had more the look of blows than of a fall.
  It was not blows, Sancho said, but that the rock had many points and
projections, and that each of them had left its mark. "Pray,
senora," he added, "manage to save some tow, as there will be no
want of some one to use it, for my loins too are rather sore."
  "Then you must have fallen too," said the hostess.
  "I did not fall," said Sancho Panza, "but from the shock I got at
seeing my master fall, my body aches so that I feel as if I had had
a thousand thwacks."
  "That may well be," said the young girl, "for it has many a time
happened to me to dream that I was falling down from a tower and never
coming to the ground, and when I awoke from the dream to find myself
as weak and shaken as if I had really fallen."
  "There is the point, senora," replied Sancho Panza, "that I
without dreaming at all, but being more awake than I am now, find
myself with scarcely less wheals than my master, Don Quixote."
  "How is the gentleman called?" asked Maritornes the Asturian.
  "Don Quixote of La Mancha," answered Sancho Panza, "and he is a
knight-adventurer, and one of the best and stoutest that have been
seen in the world this long time past."
  "What is a knight-adventurer?" said the lass.
  "Are you so new in the world as not to know?" answered Sancho Panza.
"Well, then, you must know, sister, that a knight-adventurer is a
thing that in two words is seen drubbed and emperor, that is to-day
the most miserable and needy being in the world, and to-morrow will
have two or three crowns of kingdoms to give his squire."
  "Then how is it," said the hostess, "that belonging to so good a
master as this, you have not, to judge by appearances, even so much as
a county?"
  "It is too soon yet," answered Sancho, "for we have only been a
month going in quest of adventures, and so far we have met with
nothing that can be called one, for it will happen that when one thing
is looked for another thing is found; however, if my master Don
Quixote gets well of this wound, or fall, and I am left none the worse
of it, I would not change my hopes for the best title in Spain."
  To all this conversation Don Quixote was listening very attentively,
and sitting up in bed as well as he could, and taking the hostess by
the hand he said to her, "Believe me, fair lady, you may call yourself
fortunate in having in this castle of yours sheltered my person, which
is such that if I do not myself praise it, it is because of what is
commonly said, that self-praise debaseth; but my squire will inform
you who I am. I only tell you that I shall preserve for ever inscribed
on my memory the service you have rendered me in order to tender you
my gratitude while life shall last me; and would to Heaven love held
me not so enthralled and subject to its laws and to the eyes of that
fair ingrate whom I name between my teeth, but that those of this
lovely damsel might be the masters of my liberty."
  The hostess, her daughter, and the worthy Maritornes listened in
bewilderment to the words of the knight-errant; for they understood
about as much of them as if he had been talking Greek, though they
could perceive they were all meant for expressions of good-will and
blandishments; and not being accustomed to this kind of language, they
stared at him and wondered to themselves, for he seemed to them a
man of a different sort from those they were used to, and thanking him
in pothouse phrase for his civility they left him, while the
Asturian gave her attention to Sancho, who needed it no less than
his master.
  The carrier had made an arrangement with her for recreation that
night, and she had given him her word that when the guests were
quiet and the family asleep she would come in search of him and meet
his wishes unreservedly. And it is said of this good lass that she
never made promises of the kind without fulfilling them, even though
she made them in a forest and without any witness present, for she
plumed herself greatly on being a lady and held it no disgrace to be
in such an employment as servant in an inn, because, she said,
misfortunes and ill-luck had brought her to that position. The hard,
narrow, wretched, rickety bed of Don Quixote stood first in the middle
of this star-lit stable, and close beside it Sancho made his, which
merely consisted of a rush mat and a blanket that looked as if it
was of threadbare canvas rather than of wool. Next to these two beds
was that of the carrier, made up, as has been said, of the
pack-saddles and all the trappings of the two best mules he had,
though there were twelve of them, sleek, plump, and in prime
condition, for he was one of the rich carriers of Arevalo, according
to the author of this history, who particularly mentions this
carrier because he knew him very well, and they even say was in some
degree a relation of his; besides which Cide Hamete Benengeli was a
historian of great research and accuracy in all things, as is very
evident since he would not pass over in silence those that have been
already mentioned, however trifling and insignificant they might be,
an example that might be followed by those grave historians who relate
transactions so curtly and briefly that we hardly get a taste of them,
all the substance of the work being left in the inkstand from
carelessness, perverseness, or ignorance. A thousand blessings on
the author of "Tablante de Ricamonte" and that of the other book in
which the deeds of the Conde Tomillas are recounted; with what
minuteness they describe everything!
  To proceed, then: after having paid a visit to his team and given
them their second feed, the carrier stretched himself on his
pack-saddles and lay waiting for his conscientious Maritornes.
Sancho was by this time plastered and had lain down, and though he
strove to sleep the pain of his ribs would not let him, while Don
Quixote with the pain of his had his eyes as wide open as a hare's.
The inn was all in silence, and in the whole of it there was no
light except that given by a lantern that hung burning in the middle
of the gateway. This strange stillness, and the thoughts, always
present to our knight's mind, of the incidents described at every turn
in the books that were the cause of his misfortune, conjured up to his
imagination as extraordinary a delusion as can well be conceived,
which was that he fancied himself to have reached a famous castle
(for, as has been said, all the inns he lodged in were castles to
his eyes), and that the daughter of the innkeeper was daughter of
the lord of the castle, and that she, won by his high-bred bearing,
had fallen in love with him, and had promised to come to his bed for a
while that night without the knowledge of her parents; and holding all
this fantasy that he had constructed as solid fact, he began to feel
uneasy and to consider the perilous risk which his virtue was about to
encounter, and he resolved in his heart to commit no treason to his
lady Dulcinea del Toboso, even though the queen Guinevere herself
and the dame Quintanona should present themselves before him.
  While he was taken up with these vagaries, then, the time and the
hour- an unlucky one for him- arrived for the Asturian to come, who in
her smock, with bare feet and her hair gathered into a fustian coif,
with noiseless and cautious steps entered the chamber where the
three were quartered, in quest of the carrier; but scarcely had she
gained the door when Don Quixote perceived her, and sitting up in
his bed in spite of his plasters and the pain of his ribs, he
stretched out his arms to receive his beauteous damsel. The
Asturian, who went all doubled up and in silence with her hands before
her feeling for her lover, encountered the arms of Don Quixote, who
grasped her tightly by the wrist, and drawing her towards him, while
she dared not utter a word, made her sit down on the bed. He then felt
her smock, and although it was of sackcloth it appeared to him to be
of the finest and softest silk: on her wrists she wore some glass
beads, but to him they had the sheen of precious Orient pearls: her
hair, which in some measure resembled a horse's mane, he rated as
threads of the brightest gold of Araby, whose refulgence dimmed the
sun himself: her breath, which no doubt smelt of yesterday's stale
salad, seemed to him to diffuse a sweet aromatic fragrance from her
mouth; and, in short, he drew her portrait in his imagination with the
same features and in the same style as that which he had seen in his
books of the other princesses who, smitten by love, came with all
the adornments that are here set down, to see the sorely wounded
knight; and so great was the poor gentleman's blindness that neither
touch, nor smell, nor anything else about the good lass that would
have made any but a carrier vomit, were enough to undeceive him; on
the contrary, he was persuaded he had the goddess of beauty in his
arms, and holding her firmly in his grasp he went on to say in low,
tender voice:
  "Would that found myself, lovely and exalted lady, in a position
to repay such a favour as that which you, by the sight of your great
beauty, have granted me; but fortune, which is never weary of
persecuting the good, has chosen to place me upon this bed, where I
lie so bruised and broken that though my inclination would gladly
comply with yours it is impossible; besides, to this impossibility
another yet greater is to be added, which is the faith that I have
pledged to the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, sole lady of my most
secret thoughts; and were it not that this stood in the way I should
not be so insensible a knight as to miss the happy opportunity which
your great goodness has offered me."
  Maritornes was fretting and sweating at finding herself held so fast
by Don Quixote, and not understanding or heeding the words he
addressed to her, she strove without speaking to free herself. The
worthy carrier, whose unholy thoughts kept him awake, was aware of his
doxy the moment she entered the door, and was listening attentively to
all Don Quixote said; and jealous that the Asturian should have broken
her word with him for another, drew nearer to Don Quixote's bed and
stood still to see what would come of this talk which he could not
understand; but when he perceived the wench struggling to get free and
Don Quixote striving to hold her, not relishing the joke he raised his
arm and delivered such a terrible cuff on the lank jaws of the amorous
knight that be bathed all his mouth in blood, and not content with
this he mounted on his ribs and with his feet tramped all over them at
a pace rather smarter than a trot. The bed which was somewhat crazy
and not very firm on its feet, unable to support the additional weight
of the carrier, came to the ground, and at the mighty crash of this
the innkeeper awoke and at once concluded that it must be some brawl
of Maritornes', because after calling loudly to her he got no
answer. With this suspicion he got up, and lighting a lamp hastened to
the quarter where he had heard the disturbance. The wench, seeing that
her master was coming and knowing that his temper was terrible,
frightened and panic-stricken made for the bed of Sancho Panza, who
still slept, and crouching upon it made a ball of herself.
  The innkeeper came in exclaiming, "Where art thou, strumpet? Of
course this is some of thy work." At this Sancho awoke, and feeling
this mass almost on top of him fancied he had the nightmare and
began to distribute fisticuffs all round, of which a certain share
fell upon Maritornes, who, irritated by the pain and flinging
modesty aside, paid back so many in return to Sancho that she woke him
up in spite of himself. He then, finding himself so handled, by whom
he knew not, raising himself up as well as he could, grappled with
Maritornes, and he and she between them began the bitterest and
drollest scrimmage in the world. The carrier, however, perceiving by
the light of the innkeeper candle how it fared with his ladylove,
quitting Don Quixote, ran to bring her the help she needed; and the
innkeeper did the same but with a different intention, for his was
to chastise the lass, as he believed that beyond a doubt she alone was
the cause of all the harmony. And so, as the saying is, cat to rat,
rat to rope, rope to stick, the carrier pounded Sancho, Sancho the
lass, she him, and the innkeeper her, and all worked away so briskly
that they did not give themselves a moment's rest; and the best of
it was that the innkeeper's lamp went out, and as they were left in
the dark they all laid on one upon the other in a mass so unmercifully
that there was not a sound spot left where a hand could light.
  It so happened that there was lodging that night in the inn a
caudrillero of what they call the Old Holy Brotherhood of Toledo, who,
also hearing the extraordinary noise of the conflict, seized his staff
and the tin case with his warrants, and made his way in the dark
into the room crying: "Hold! in the name of the Jurisdiction! Hold! in
the name of the Holy Brotherhood!"
  The first that he came upon was the pummelled Don Quixote, who lay
stretched senseless on his back upon his broken-down bed, and, his
hand falling on the beard as he felt about, he continued to cry, "Help
for the Jurisdiction!" but perceiving that he whom he had laid hold of
did not move or stir, he concluded that he was dead and that those
in the room were his murderers, and with this suspicion he raised
his voice still higher, calling out, "Shut the inn gate; see that no
one goes out; they have killed a man here!" This cry startled them
all, and each dropped the contest at the point at which the voice
reached him. The innkeeper retreated to his room, the carrier to his
pack-saddles, the lass to her crib; the unlucky Don Quixote and Sancho
alone were unable to move from where they were. The cuadrillero on
this let go Don Quixote's beard, and went out to look for a light to
search for and apprehend the culprits; but not finding one, as the
innkeeper had purposely extinguished the lantern on retreating to
his room, he was compelled to have recourse to the hearth, where after
much time and trouble he lit another lamp.
  CHAPTER XVII
  IN WHICH ARE CONTAINED THE INNUMERABLE TROUBLES WHICH THE BRAVE
DON QUIXOTE AND HIS GOOD SQUIRE SANCHO PANZA ENDURED IN THE INN, WHICH
TO HIS MISFORTUNE HE TOOK TO BE A CASTLE

  BY THIS time Don Quixote had recovered from his swoon; and in the
same tone of voice in which he had called to his squire the day before
when he lay stretched "in the vale of the stakes," he began calling to
him now, "Sancho, my friend, art thou asleep? sleepest thou, friend
Sancho?"
  "How can I sleep, curses on it!" returned Sancho discontentedly
and bitterly, "when it is plain that all the devils have been at me
this night?"
  "Thou mayest well believe that," answered Don Quixote, "because,
either I know little, or this castle is enchanted, for thou must know-
but this that I am now about to tell thee thou must swear to keep
secret until after my death."
  "I swear it," answered Sancho.
  "I say so," continued Don Quixote, "because I hate taking away
anyone's good name."
  "I say," replied Sancho, "that I swear to hold my tongue about it
till the end of your worship's days, and God grant I may be able to
let it out tomorrow."
  "Do I do thee such injuries, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that thou
wouldst see me dead so soon?"
  "It is not for that," replied Sancho, "but because I hate keeping
things long, and I don't want them to grow rotten with me from
over-keeping."
  "At any rate," said Don Quixote, "I have more confidence in thy
affection and good nature; and so I would have thee know that this
night there befell me one of the strangest adventures that I could
describe, and to relate it to thee briefly thou must know that a
little while ago the daughter of the lord of this castle came to me,
and that she is the most elegant and beautiful damsel that could be
found in the wide world. What I could tell thee of the charms of her
person! of her lively wit! of other secret matters which, to
preserve the fealty I owe to my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, I shall pass
over unnoticed and in silence! I will only tell thee that, either fate
being envious of so great a boon placed in my hands by good fortune,
or perhaps (and this is more probable) this castle being, as I have
already said, enchanted, at the time when I was engaged in the
sweetest and most amorous discourse with her, there came, without my
seeing or knowing whence it came, a hand attached to some arm of
some huge giant, that planted such a cuff on my jaws that I have
them all bathed in blood, and then pummelled me in such a way that I
am in a worse plight than yesterday when the carriers, on account of
Rocinante's misbehaviour, inflicted on us the injury thou knowest
of; whence conjecture that there must be some enchanted Moor
guarding the treasure of this damsel's beauty, and that it is not
for me."
  "Not for me either," said Sancho, "for more than four hundred
Moors have so thrashed me that the drubbing of the stakes was cakes
and fancy-bread to it. But tell me, senor, what do you call this
excellent and rare adventure that has left us as we are left now?
Though your worship was not so badly off, having in your arms that
incomparable beauty you spoke of; but I, what did I have, except the
heaviest whacks I think I had in all my life? Unlucky me and the
mother that bore me! for I am not a knight-errant and never expect
to be one, and of all the mishaps, the greater part falls to my
share."
  "Then thou hast been thrashed too?" said Don Quixote.
  "Didn't I say so? worse luck to my line!" said Sancho.
  "Be not distressed, friend," said Don Quixote, "for I will now
make the precious balsam with which we shall cure ourselves in the
twinkling of an eye."
  By this time the cuadrillero had succeeded in lighting the lamp, and
came in to see the man that he thought had been killed; and as
Sancho caught sight of him at the door, seeing him coming in his
shirt, with a cloth on his head, and a lamp in his hand, and a very
forbidding countenance, he said to his master, "Senor, can it be
that this is the enchanted Moor coming back to give us more
castigation if there be anything still left in the ink-bottle?"
  "It cannot be the Moor," answered Don Quixote, "for those under
enchantment do not let themselves be seen by anyone."
  "If they don't let themselves be seen, they let themselves be felt,"
said Sancho; "if not, let my shoulders speak to the point."
  "Mine could speak too," said Don Quixote, "but that is not a
sufficient reason for believing that what we see is the enchanted
Moor."
  The officer came up, and finding them engaged in such a peaceful
conversation, stood amazed; though Don Quixote, to be sure, still
lay on his back unable to move from pure pummelling and plasters.
The officer turned to him and said, "Well, how goes it, good man?"
  "I would speak more politely if I were you," replied Don Quixote;
"is it the way of this country to address knights-errant in that
style, you booby?"
  The cuadrillero finding himself so disrespectfully treated by such a
sorry-looking individual, lost his temper, and raising the lamp full
of oil, smote Don Quixote such a blow with it on the head that he gave
him a badly broken pate; then, all being in darkness, he went out, and
Sancho Panza said, "That is certainly the enchanted Moor, Senor, and
he keeps the treasure for others, and for us only the cuffs and
lamp-whacks."
  "That is the truth," answered Don Quixote, "and there is no use in
troubling oneself about these matters of enchantment or being angry or
vexed at them, for as they are invisible and visionary we shall find
no one on whom to avenge ourselves, do what we may; rise, Sancho, if
thou canst, and call the alcaide of this fortress, and get him to give
me a little oil, wine, salt, and rosemary to make the salutiferous
balsam, for indeed I believe I have great need of it now, because I am
losing much blood from the wound that phantom gave me."
  Sancho got up with pain enough in his bones, and went after the
innkeeper in the dark, and meeting the officer, who was looking to see
what had become of his enemy, he said to him, "Senor, whoever you are,
do us the favour and kindness to give us a little rosemary, oil, salt,
and wine, for it is wanted to cure one of the best knights-errant on
earth, who lies on yonder bed wounded by the hands of the enchanted
Moor that is in this inn."
  When the officer heard him talk in this way, he took him for a man
out of his senses, and as day was now beginning to break, he opened
the inn gate, and calling the host, he told him what this good man
wanted. The host furnished him with what he required, and Sancho
brought it to Don Quixote, who, with his hand to his head, was
bewailing the pain of the blow of the lamp, which had done him no more
harm than raising a couple of rather large lumps, and what he
fancied blood was only the sweat that flowed from him in his
sufferings during the late storm. To be brief, he took the
materials, of which he made a compound, mixing them all and boiling
them a good while until it seemed to him they had come to
perfection. He then asked for some vial to pour it into, and as
there was not one in the inn, he decided on putting it into a tin
oil-bottle or flask of which the host made him a free gift; and over
the flask he repeated more than eighty paternosters and as many more
ave-marias, salves, and credos, accompanying each word with a cross by
way of benediction, at all which there were present Sancho, the
innkeeper, and the cuadrillero; for the carrier was now peacefully
engaged in attending to the comfort of his mules.
  This being accomplished, he felt anxious to make trial himself, on
the spot, of the virtue of this precious balsam, as he considered
it, and so he drank near a quart of what could not be put into the
flask and remained in the pigskin in which it had been boiled; but
scarcely had he done drinking when he began to vomit in such a way
that nothing was left in his stomach, and with the pangs and spasms of
vomiting he broke into a profuse sweat, on account of which he bade
them cover him up and leave him alone. They did so, and he lay
sleeping more than three hours, at the end of which he awoke and
felt very great bodily relief and so much ease from his bruises that
he thought himself quite cured, and verily believed he had hit upon
the balsam of Fierabras; and that with this remedy he might
thenceforward, without any fear, face any kind of destruction, battle,
or combat, however perilous it might be.
  Sancho Panza, who also regarded the amendment of his master as
miraculous, begged him to give him what was left in the pigskin, which
was no small quantity. Don Quixote consented, and he, taking it with
both hands, in good faith and with a better will, gulped down and
drained off very little less than his master. But the fact is, that
the stomach of poor Sancho was of necessity not so delicate as that of
his master, and so, before vomiting, he was seized with such
gripings and retchings, and such sweats and faintness, that verily and
truly be believed his last hour had come, and finding himself so
racked and tormented he cursed the balsam and the thief that had given
it to him.
  Don Quixote seeing him in this state said, "It is my belief, Sancho,
that this mischief comes of thy not being dubbed a knight, for I am
persuaded this liquor cannot be good for those who are not so."
  "If your worship knew that," returned Sancho- "woe betide me and all
my kindred!- why did you let me taste it?"
  At this moment the draught took effect, and the poor squire began to
discharge both ways at such a rate that the rush mat on which he had
thrown himself and the canvas blanket he had covering him were fit for
nothing afterwards. He sweated and perspired with such paroxysms and
convulsions that not only he himself but all present thought his end
had come. This tempest and tribulation lasted about two hours, at
the end of which he was left, not like his master, but so weak and
exhausted that he could not stand. Don Quixote, however, who, as has
been said, felt himself relieved and well, was eager to take his
departure at once in quest of adventures, as it seemed to him that all
the time he loitered there was a fraud upon the world and those in
it who stood in need of his help and protection, all the more when
he had the security and confidence his balsam afforded him; and so,
urged by this impulse, he saddled Rocinante himself and put the
pack-saddle on his squire's beast, whom likewise he helped to dress
and mount the ass; after which he mounted his horse and turning to a
corner of the inn he laid hold of a pike that stood there, to serve
him by way of a lance. All that were in the inn, who were more than
twenty persons, stood watching him; the innkeeper's daughter was
likewise observing him, and he too never took his eyes off her, and
from time to time fetched a sigh that he seemed to pluck up from the
depths of his bowels; but they all thought it must be from the pain he
felt in his ribs; at any rate they who had seen him plastered the
night before thought so.
  As soon as they were both mounted, at the gate of the inn, he called
to the host and said in a very grave and measured voice, "Many and
great are the favours, Senor Alcaide, that I have received in this
castle of yours, and I remain under the deepest obligation to be
grateful to you for them all the days of my life; if I can repay
them in avenging you of any arrogant foe who may have wronged you,
know that my calling is no other than to aid the weak, to avenge those
who suffer wrong, and to chastise perfidy. Search your memory, and
if you find anything of this kind you need only tell me of it, and I
promise you by the order of knighthood which I have received to
procure you satisfaction and reparation to the utmost of your desire."
  The innkeeper replied to him with equal calmness, "Sir Knight, I
do not want your worship to avenge me of any wrong, because when any
is done me I can take what vengeance seems good to me; the only
thing I want is that you pay me the score that you have run up in
the inn last night, as well for the straw and barley for your two
beasts, as for supper and beds."
  "Then this is an inn?" said Don Quixote.
  "And a very respectable one," said the innkeeper.
  "I have been under a mistake all this time," answered Don Quixote,
"for in truth I thought it was a castle, and not a bad one; but
since it appears that it is not a castle but an inn, all that can be
done now is that you should excuse the payment, for I cannot
contravene the rule of knights-errant, of whom I know as a fact (and
up to the present I have read nothing to the contrary) that they never
paid for lodging or anything else in the inn where they might be;
for any hospitality that might be offered them is their due by law and
right in return for the insufferable toil they endure in seeking
adventures by night and by day, in summer and in winter, on foot and
on horseback, in hunger and thirst, cold and heat, exposed to all
the inclemencies of heaven and all the hardships of earth."
  "I have little to do with that," replied the innkeeper; "pay me what
you owe me, and let us have no more talk of chivalry, for all I care
about is to get my money."
  "You are a stupid, scurvy innkeeper," said Don Quixote, and
putting spurs to Rocinante and bringing his pike to the slope he
rode out of the inn before anyone could stop him, and pushed on some
distance without looking to see if his squire was following him.
  The innkeeper when he saw him go without paying him ran to get
payment of Sancho, who said that as his master would not pay neither
would he, because, being as he was squire to a knight-errant, the same
rule and reason held good for him as for his master with regard to not
paying anything in inns and hostelries. At this the innkeeper waxed
very wroth, and threatened if he did not pay to compel him in a way
that he would not like. To which Sancho made answer that by the law of
chivalry his master had received he would not pay a rap, though it
cost him his life; for the excellent and ancient usage of
knights-errant was not going to be violated by him, nor should the
squires of such as were yet to come into the world ever complain of
him or reproach him with breaking so just a privilege.
  The ill-luck of the unfortunate Sancho so ordered it that among
the company in the inn there were four woolcarders from Segovia, three
needle-makers from the Colt of Cordova, and two lodgers from the
Fair of Seville, lively fellows, tender-hearted, fond of a joke, and
playful, who, almost as if instigated and moved by a common impulse,
made up to Sancho and dismounted him from his ass, while one of them
went in for the blanket of the host's bed; but on flinging him into it
they looked up, and seeing that the ceiling was somewhat lower what
they required for their work, they decided upon going out into the
yard, which was bounded by the sky, and there, putting Sancho in the
middle of the blanket, they began to raise him high, making sport with
him as they would with a dog at Shrovetide.
  The cries of the poor blanketed wretch were so loud that they
reached the ears of his master, who, halting to listen attentively,
was persuaded that some new adventure was coming, until he clearly
perceived that it was his squire who uttered them. Wheeling about he
came up to the inn with a laborious gallop, and finding it shut went
round it to see if he could find some way of getting in; but as soon
as he came to the wall of the yard, which was not very high, he
discovered the game that was being played with his squire. He saw
him rising and falling in the air with such grace and nimbleness that,
had his rage allowed him, it is my belief he would have laughed. He
tried to climb from his horse on to the top of the wall, but he was so
bruised and battered that he could not even dismount; and so from
the back of his horse he began to utter such maledictions and
objurgations against those who were blanketing Sancho as it would be
impossible to write down accurately: they, however, did not stay their
laughter or their work for this, nor did the flying Sancho cease his
lamentations, mingled now with threats, now with entreaties but all to
little purpose, or none at all, until from pure weariness they left
off. They then brought him his ass, and mounting him on top of it they
put his jacket round him; and the compassionate Maritornes, seeing him
so exhausted, thought fit to refresh him with a jug of water, and that
it might be all the cooler she fetched it from the well. Sancho took
it, and as he was raising it to his mouth he was stopped by the
cries of his master exclaiming, "Sancho, my son, drink not water;
drink it not, my son, for it will kill thee; see, here I have the
blessed balsam (and he held up the flask of liquor), and with drinking
two drops of it thou wilt certainly be restored."
  At these words Sancho turned his eyes asquint, and in a still louder
voice said, "Can it be your worship has forgotten that I am not a
knight, or do you want me to end by vomiting up what bowels I have
left after last night? Keep your liquor in the name of all the devils,
and leave me to myself!" and at one and the same instant he left off
talking and began drinking; but as at the first sup he perceived it
was water he did not care to go on with it, and begged Maritornes to
fetch him some wine, which she did with right good will, and paid
for it with her own money; for indeed they say of her that, though she
was in that line of life, there was some faint and distant resemblance
to a Christian about her. When Sancho had done drinking he dug his
heels into his ass, and the gate of the inn being thrown open he
passed out very well pleased at having paid nothing and carried his
point, though it had been at the expense of his usual sureties, his
shoulders. It is true that the innkeeper detained his alforjas in
payment of what was owing to him, but Sancho took his departure in
such a flurry that he never missed them. The innkeeper, as soon as
he saw him off, wanted to bar the gate close, but the blanketers would
not agree to it, for they were fellows who would not have cared two
farthings for Don Quixote, even had he been really one of the
knights-errant of the Round Table.
  CHAPTER XVIII
  IN WHICH IS RELATED THE DISCOURSE SANCHO PANZA HELD WITH HIS MASTER,
DON QUIXOTE, AND OTHER ADVENTURES WORTH RELATING

  SANCHO reached his master so limp and faint that he could not urge
on his beast. When Don Quixote saw the state he was in he said, "I
have now come to the conclusion, good Sancho, that this castle or
inn is beyond a doubt enchanted, because those who have so atrociously
diverted themselves with thee, what can they be but phantoms or beings
of another world? and I hold this confirmed by having noticed that
when I was by the wall of the yard witnessing the acts of thy sad
tragedy, it was out of my power to mount upon it, nor could I even
dismount from Rocinante, because they no doubt had me enchanted; for I
swear to thee by the faith of what I am that if I had been able to
climb up or dismount, I would have avenged thee in such a way that
those braggart thieves would have remembered their freak for ever,
even though in so doing I knew that I contravened the laws of
chivalry, which, as I have often told thee, do not permit a knight
to lay hands on him who is not one, save in case of urgent and great
necessity in defence of his own life and person."
  "I would have avenged myself too if I could," said Sancho,
"whether I had been dubbed knight or not, but I could not; though
for my part I am persuaded those who amused themselves with me were
not phantoms or enchanted men, as your worship says, but men of
flesh and bone like ourselves; and they all had their names, for I
heard them name them when they were tossing me, and one was called
Pedro Martinez, and another Tenorio Hernandez, and the innkeeper, I
heard, was called Juan Palomeque the Left-handed; so that, senor, your
not being able to leap over the wall of the yard or dismount from your
horse came of something else besides enchantments; and what I make out
clearly from all this is, that these adventures we go seeking will
in the end lead us into such misadventures that we shall not know
which is our right foot; and that the best and wisest thing, according
to my small wits, would be for us to return home, now that it is
harvest-time, and attend to our business, and give over wandering from
Zeca to Mecca and from pail to bucket, as the saying is."
  "How little thou knowest about chivalry, Sancho," replied Don
Quixote; "hold thy peace and have patience; the day will come when
thou shalt see with thine own eyes what an honourable thing it is to
wander in the pursuit of this calling; nay, tell me, what greater
pleasure can there be in the world, or what delight can equal that
of winning a battle, and triumphing over one's enemy? None, beyond all
doubt."
  "Very likely," answered Sancho, "though I do not know it; all I know
is that since we have been knights-errant, or since your worship has
been one (for I have no right to reckon myself one of so honourable
a number) we have never won any battle except the one with the
Biscayan, and even out of that your worship car-ne with half an ear
and half a helmet the less; and from that till now it has been all
cudgellings and more cudgellings, cuffs and more cuffs, I getting
the blanketing over and above, and falling in with enchanted persons
on whom I cannot avenge myself so as to know what the delight, as your
worship calls it, of conquering an enemy is like."
  "That is what vexes me, and what ought to vex thee, Sancho," replied
Don Quixote; "but henceforward I will endeavour to have at hand some
sword made by such craft that no kind of enchantments can take
effect upon him who carries it, and it is even possible that fortune
may procure for me that which belonged to Amadis when he was called
'The Knight of the Burning Sword,' which was one of the best swords
that ever knight in the world possessed, for, besides having the
said virtue, it cut like a razor, and there was no armour, however
strong and enchanted it might be, that could resist it."
  "Such is my luck," said Sancho, "that even if that happened and your
worship found some such sword, it would, like the balsam, turn out
serviceable and good for dubbed knights only, and as for the
squires, they might sup sorrow."
  "Fear not that, Sancho," said Don Quixote: "Heaven will deal
better by thee."
  Thus talking, Don Quixote and his squire were going along, when,
on the road they were following, Don Quixote perceived approaching
them a large and thick cloud of dust, on seeing which he turned to
Sancho and said:
  "This is the day, Sancho, on which will be seen the boon my
fortune is reserving for me; this, I say, is the day on which as
much as on any other shall be displayed the might of my arm, and on
which I shall do deeds that shall remain written in the book of fame
for all ages to come. Seest thou that cloud of dust which rises
yonder? Well, then, all that is churned up by a vast army composed
of various and countless nations that comes marching there."
  "According to that there must be two," said Sancho, "for on this
opposite side also there rises just such another cloud of dust."
  Don Quixote turned to look and found that it was true, and rejoicing
exceedingly, he concluded that they were two armies about to engage
and encounter in the midst of that broad plain; for at all times and
seasons his fancy was full of the battles, enchantments, adventures,
crazy feats, loves, and defiances that are recorded in the books of
chivalry, and everything he said, thought, or did had reference to
such things. Now the cloud of dust he had seen was raised by two great
droves of sheep coming along the same road in opposite directions,
which, because of the dust, did not become visible until they drew
near, but Don Quixote asserted so positively that they were armies
that Sancho was led to believe it and say, "Well, and what are we to
do, senor?"
  "What?" said Don Quixote: "give aid and assistance to the weak and
those who need it; and thou must know, Sancho, that this which comes
opposite to us is conducted and led by the mighty emperor Alifanfaron,
lord of the great isle of Trapobana; this other that marches behind me
is that of his enemy the king of the Garamantas, Pentapolin of the
Bare Arm, for he always goes into battle with his right arm bare."
  "But why are these two lords such enemies?"
  "They are at enmity," replied Don Quixote, "because this Alifanfaron
is a furious pagan and is in love with the daughter of Pentapolin, who
is a very beautiful and moreover gracious lady, and a Christian, and
her father is unwilling to bestow her upon the pagan king unless he
first abandons the religion of his false prophet Mahomet, and adopts
his own."
  "By my beard," said Sancho, "but Pentapolin does quite right, and
I will help him as much as I can."
  "In that thou wilt do what is thy duty, Sancho," said Don Quixote;
"for to engage in battles of this sort it is not requisite to be a
dubbed knight."
  "That I can well understand," answered Sancho; "but where shall we
put this ass where we may be sure to find him after the fray is
over? for I believe it has not been the custom so far to go into
battle on a beast of this kind."
  "That is true," said Don Quixote, "and what you had best do with him
is to leave him to take his chance whether he be lost or not, for
the horses we shall have when we come out victors will be so many that
even Rocinante will run a risk of being changed for another. But
attend to me and observe, for I wish to give thee some account of
the chief knights who accompany these two armies; and that thou mayest
the better see and mark, let us withdraw to that hillock which rises
yonder, whence both armies may be seen."
  They did so, and placed themselves on a rising ground from which the
two droves that Don Quixote made armies of might have been plainly
seen if the clouds of dust they raised had not obscured them and
blinded the sight; nevertheless, seeing in his imagination what he did
not see and what did not exist, he began thus in a loud voice:
  "That knight whom thou seest yonder in yellow armour, who bears upon
his shield a lion crowned crouching at the feet of a damsel, is the
valiant Laurcalco, lord of the Silver Bridge; that one in armour
with flowers of gold, who bears on his shield three crowns argent on
an azure field, is the dreaded Micocolembo, grand duke of Quirocia;
that other of gigantic frame, on his right hand, is the ever dauntless
Brandabarbaran de Boliche, lord of the three Arabias, who for armour
wears that serpent skin, and has for shield a gate which, according to
tradition, is one of those of the temple that Samson brought to the
ground when by his death he revenged himself upon his enemies. But
turn thine eyes to the other side, and thou shalt see in front and
in the van of this other army the ever victorious and never vanquished
Timonel of Carcajona, prince of New Biscay, who comes in armour with
arms quartered azure, vert, white, and yellow, and bears on his shield
a cat or on a field tawny with a motto which says Miau, which is the
beginning of the name of his lady, who according to report is the
peerless Miaulina, daughter of the duke Alfeniquen of the Algarve; the
other, who burdens and presses the loins of that powerful charger
and bears arms white as snow and a shield blank and without any
device, is a novice knight, a Frenchman by birth, Pierres Papin by
name, lord of the baronies of Utrique; that other, who with
iron-shod heels strikes the flanks of that nimble parti-coloured
zebra, and for arms bears azure vair, is the mighty duke of Nerbia,
Espartafilardo del Bosque, who bears for device on his shield an
asparagus plant with a motto in Castilian that says, Rastrea mi
suerte." And so he went on naming a number of knights of one
squadron or the other out of his imagination, and to all he assigned
off-hand their arms, colours, devices, and mottoes, carried away by
the illusions of his unheard-of craze; and without a pause, he
continued, "People of divers nations compose this squadron in front;
here are those that drink of the sweet waters of the famous Xanthus,
those that scour the woody Massilian plains, those that sift the
pure fine gold of Arabia Felix, those that enjoy the famed cool
banks of the crystal Thermodon, those that in many and various ways
divert the streams of the golden Pactolus, the Numidians, faithless in
their promises, the Persians renowned in archery, the Parthians and
the Medes that fight as they fly, the Arabs that ever shift their
dwellings, the Scythians as cruel as they are fair, the Ethiopians
with pierced lips, and an infinity of other nations whose features I
recognise and descry, though I cannot recall their names. In this
other squadron there come those that drink of the crystal streams of
the olive-bearing Betis, those that make smooth their countenances
with the water of the ever rich and golden Tagus, those that rejoice
in the fertilising flow of the divine Genil, those that roam the
Tartesian plains abounding in pasture, those that take their
pleasure in the Elysian meadows of Jerez, the rich Manchegans
crowned with ruddy ears of corn, the wearers of iron, old relics of
the Gothic race, those that bathe in the Pisuerga renowned for its
gentle current, those that feed their herds along the spreading
pastures of the winding Guadiana famed for its hidden course, those
that tremble with the cold of the pineclad Pyrenees or the dazzling
snows of the lofty Apennine; in a word, as many as all Europe includes
and contains."
  Good God! what a number of countries and nations he named! giving to
each its proper attributes with marvellous readiness; brimful and
saturated with what he had read in his lying books! Sancho Panza
hung upon his words without speaking, and from time to time turned
to try if he could see the knights and giants his master was
describing, and as he could not make out one of them he said to him:
  "Senor, devil take it if there's a sign of any man you talk of,
knight or giant, in the whole thing; maybe it's all enchantment,
like the phantoms last night."
  "How canst thou say that!" answered Don Quixote; "dost thou not hear
the neighing of the steeds, the braying of the trumpets, the roll of
the drums?"
  "I hear nothing but a great bleating of ewes and sheep," said
Sancho; which was true, for by this time the two flocks had come
close.
  "The fear thou art in, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "prevents thee
from seeing or hearing correctly, for one of the effects of fear is to
derange the senses and make things appear different from what they
are; if thou art in such fear, withdraw to one side and leave me to
myself, for alone I suffice to bring victory to that side to which I
shall give my aid;" and so saying he gave Rocinante the spur, and
putting the lance in rest, shot down the slope like a thunderbolt.
Sancho shouted after him, crying, "Come back, Senor Don Quixote; I vow
to God they are sheep and ewes you are charging! Come back! Unlucky
the father that begot me! what madness is this! Look, there is no
giant, nor knight, nor cats, nor arms, nor shields quartered or whole,
nor vair azure or bedevilled. What are you about? Sinner that I am
before God!" But not for all these entreaties did Don Quixote turn
back; on the contrary he went on shouting out, "Ho, knights, ye who
follow and fight under the banners of the valiant emperor Pentapolin
of the Bare Arm, follow me all; ye shall see how easily I shall give
him his revenge over his enemy Alifanfaron of the Trapobana."
  So saying, he dashed into the midst of the squadron of ewes, and
began spearing them with as much spirit and intrepidity as if he
were transfixing mortal enemies in earnest. The shepherds and
drovers accompanying the flock shouted to him to desist; seeing it was
no use, they ungirt their slings and began to salute his ears with
stones as big as one's fist. Don Quixote gave no heed to the stones,
but, letting drive right and left kept saying:
  "Where art thou, proud Alifanfaron? Come before me; I am a single
knight who would fain prove thy prowess hand to hand, and make thee
yield thy life a penalty for the wrong thou dost to the valiant
Pentapolin Garamanta." Here came a sugar-plum from the brook that
struck him on the side and buried a couple of ribs in his body.
Feeling himself so smitten, he imagined himself slain or badly wounded
for certain, and recollecting his liquor he drew out his flask, and
putting it to his mouth began to pour the contents into his stomach;
but ere he had succeeded in swallowing what seemed to him enough,
there came another almond which struck him on the hand and on the
flask so fairly that it smashed it to pieces, knocking three or four
teeth and grinders out of his mouth in its course, and sorely crushing
two fingers of his hand. Such was the force of the first blow and of
the second, that the poor knight in spite of himself came down
backwards off his horse. The shepherds came up, and felt sure they had
killed him; so in all haste they collected their flock together,
took up the dead beasts, of which there were more than seven, and made
off without waiting to ascertain anything further.
  All this time Sancho stood on the hill watching the crazy feats
his master was performing, and tearing his beard and cursing the
hour and the occasion when fortune had made him acquainted with him.
Seeing him, then, brought to the ground, and that the shepherds had
taken themselves off, he ran to him and found him in very bad case,
though not unconscious; and said he:
  "Did I not tell you to come back, Senor Don Quixote; and that what
you were going to attack were not armies but droves of sheep?"
  "That's how that thief of a sage, my enemy, can alter and falsify
things," answered Don Quixote; "thou must know, Sancho, that it is a
very easy matter for those of his sort to make us believe what they
choose; and this malignant being who persecutes me, envious of the
glory he knew I was to win in this battle, has turned the squadrons of
the enemy into droves of sheep. At any rate, do this much, I beg of
thee, Sancho, to undeceive thyself, and see that what I say is true;
mount thy ass and follow them quietly, and thou shalt see that when
they have gone some little distance from this they will return to
their original shape and, ceasing to be sheep, become men in all
respects as I described them to thee at first. But go not just yet,
for I want thy help and assistance; come hither, and see how many of
my teeth and grinders are missing, for I feel as if there was not
one left in my mouth."
  Sancho came so close that he almost put his eyes into his mouth; now
just at that moment the balsam had acted on the stomach of Don
Quixote, so, at the very instant when Sancho came to examine his
mouth, he discharged all its contents with more force than a musket,
and full into the beard of the compassionate squire.
  "Holy Mary!" cried Sancho, "what is this that has happened me?
Clearly this sinner is mortally wounded, as he vomits blood from the
mouth;" but considering the matter a little more closely he
perceived by the colour, taste, and smell, that it was not blood but
the balsam from the flask which he had seen him drink; and he was
taken with such a loathing that his stomach turned, and he vomited
up his inside over his very master, and both were left in a precious
state. Sancho ran to his ass to get something wherewith to clean
himself, and relieve his master, out of his alforjas; but not
finding them, he well-nigh took leave of his senses, and cursed
himself anew, and in his heart resolved to quit his master and
return home, even though he forfeited the wages of his service and all
hopes of the promised island.
  Don Quixote now rose, and putting his left hand to his mouth to keep
his teeth from falling out altogether, with the other he laid hold
of the bridle of Rocinante, who had never stirred from his master's
side- so loyal and well-behaved was he- and betook himself to where
the squire stood leaning over his ass with his hand to his cheek, like
one in deep dejection. Seeing him in this mood, looking so sad, Don
Quixote said to him:
  "Bear in mind, Sancho, that one man is no more than another,
unless he does more than another; all these tempests that fall upon us
are signs that fair weather is coming shortly, and that things will go
well with us, for it is impossible for good or evil to last for
ever; and hence it follows that the evil having lasted long, the
good must be now nigh at hand; so thou must not distress thyself at
the misfortunes which happen to me, since thou hast no share in them."
  "How have I not?" replied Sancho; "was he whom they blanketed
yesterday perchance any other than my father's son? and the alforjas
that are missing to-day with all my treasures, did they belong to
any other but myself?"
  "What! are the alforjas missing, Sancho?" said Don Quixote.
  "Yes, they are missing," answered Sancho.
  "In that case we have nothing to eat to-day," replied Don Quixote.
  "It would be so," answered Sancho, "if there were none of the
herbs your worship says you know in these meadows, those with which
knights-errant as unlucky as your worship are wont to supply such-like
shortcomings."
  "For all that," answered Don Quixote, "I would rather have just
now a quarter of bread, or a loaf and a couple of pilchards' heads,
than all the herbs described by Dioscorides, even with Doctor Laguna's
notes. Nevertheless, Sancho the Good, mount thy beast and come along
with me, for God, who provides for all things, will not fail us
(more especially when we are so active in his service as we are),
since he fails not the midges of the air, nor the grubs of the
earth, nor the tadpoles of the water, and is so merciful that he
maketh his sun to rise on the good and on the evil, and sendeth rain
on the unjust and on the just."
  "Your worship would make a better preacher than knight-errant," said
Sancho.
  "Knights-errant knew and ought to know everything, Sancho," said Don
Quixote; "for there were knights-errant in former times as well
qualified to deliver a sermon or discourse in the middle of an
encampment, as if they had graduated in the University of Paris;
whereby we may see that the lance has never blunted the pen, nor the
pen the lance."
  "Well, be it as your worship says," replied Sancho; "let us be off
now and find some place of shelter for the night, and God grant it may
be somewhere where there are no blankets, nor blanketeers, nor
phantoms, nor enchanted Moors; for if there are, may the devil take
the whole concern."
  "Ask that of God, my son," said Don Quixote; and do thou lead on
where thou wilt, for this time I leave our lodging to thy choice;
but reach me here thy hand, and feel with thy finger, and find out how
many of my teeth and grinders are missing from this right side of
the upper jaw, for it is there I feel the pain."
  Sancho put in his fingers, and feeling about asked him, "How many
grinders used your worship have on this side?"
  "Four," replied Don Quixote, "besides the back-tooth, all whole
and quite sound."
  "Mind what you are saying, senor."
  "I say four, if not five," answered Don Quixote, "for never in my
life have I had tooth or grinder drawn, nor has any fallen out or been
destroyed by any decay or rheum."
  "Well, then," said Sancho, "in this lower side your worship has no
more than two grinders and a half, and in the upper neither a half nor
any at all, for it is all as smooth as the palm of my hand."
  "Luckless that I am!" said Don Quixote, hearing the sad news his
squire gave him; "I had rather they despoiled me of an arm, so it were
not the sword-arm; for I tell thee, Sancho, a mouth without teeth is
like a mill without a millstone, and a tooth is much more to be prized
than a diamond; but we who profess the austere order of chivalry are
liable to all this. Mount, friend, and lead the way, and I will follow
thee at whatever pace thou wilt."
  Sancho did as he bade him, and proceeded in the direction in which
he thought he might find refuge without quitting the high road,
which was there very much frequented. As they went along, then, at a
slow pace- for the pain in Don Quixote's jaws kept him uneasy and
ill-disposed for speed- Sancho thought it well to amuse and divert him
by talk of some kind, and among the things he said to him was that
which will be told in the following chapter.
  CHAPTER XIX
  OF THE SHREWD DISCOURSE WHICH SANCHO HELD WITH HIS MASTER, AND OF
THE ADVENTURE THAT BEFELL HIM WITH A DEAD BODY, TOGETHER WITH OTHER
NOTABLE OCCURRENCES

  "IT SEEMS to me, senor, that all these mishaps that have befallen us
of late have been without any doubt a punishment for the offence
committed by your worship against the order of chivalry in not keeping
the oath you made not to eat bread off a tablecloth or embrace the
queen, and all the rest of it that your worship swore to observe until
you had taken that helmet of Malandrino's, or whatever the Moor is
called, for I do not very well remember."
  "Thou art very right, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "but to tell the
truth, it had escaped my memory; and likewise thou mayest rely upon it
that the affair of the blanket happened to thee because of thy fault
in not reminding me of it in time; but I will make amends, for there
are ways of compounding for everything in the order of chivalry."
  "Why! have I taken an oath of some sort, then?" said Sancho.
  "It makes no matter that thou hast not taken an oath," said Don
Quixote; "suffice it that I see thou art not quite clear of
complicity; and whether or no, it will not be ill done to provide
ourselves with a remedy."
  "In that case," said Sancho, "mind that your worship does not forget
this as you did the oath; perhaps the phantoms may take it into
their heads to amuse themselves once more with me; or even with your
worship if they see you so obstinate."
  While engaged in this and other talk, night overtook them on the
road before they had reached or discovered any place of shelter; and
what made it still worse was that they were dying of hunger, for
with the loss of the alforjas they had lost their entire larder and
commissariat; and to complete the misfortune they met with an
adventure which without any invention had really the appearance of
one. It so happened that the night closed in somewhat darkly, but
for all that they pushed on, Sancho feeling sure that as the road
was the king's highway they might reasonably expect to find some inn
within a league or two. Going along, then, in this way, the night
dark, the squire hungry, the master sharp-set, they saw coming towards
them on the road they were travelling a great number of lights which
looked exactly like stars in motion. Sancho was taken aback at the
sight of them, nor did Don Quixote altogether relish them: the one
pulled up his ass by the halter, the other his hack by the bridle, and
they stood still, watching anxiously to see what all this would turn
out to be, and found that the lights were approaching them, and the
nearer they came the greater they seemed, at which spectacle Sancho
began to shake like a man dosed with mercury, and Don Quixote's hair
stood on end; he, however, plucking up spirit a little, said:
  "This, no doubt, Sancho, will be a most mighty and perilous
adventure, in which it will be needful for me to put forth all my
valour and resolution."
  "Unlucky me!" answered Sancho; "if this adventure happens to be
one of phantoms, as I am beginning to think it is, where shall I
find the ribs to bear it?"
  "Be they phantoms ever so much," said Don Quixote, "I will not
permit them to touch a thread of thy garments; for if they played
tricks with thee the time before, it was because I was unable to
leap the walls of the yard; but now we are on a wide plain, where I
shall be able to wield my sword as I please."
  "And if they enchant and cripple you as they did the last time,"
said Sancho, "what difference will it make being on the open plain
or not?"
  "For all that," replied Don Quixote, "I entreat thee, Sancho, to
keep a good heart, for experience will tell thee what mine is."
  "I will, please God," answered Sancho, and the two retiring to one
side of the road set themselves to observe closely what all these
moving lights might be; and very soon afterwards they made out some
twenty encamisados, all on horseback, with lighted torches in their
hands, the awe-inspiring aspect of whom completely extinguished the
courage of Sancho, who began to chatter with his teeth like one in the
cold fit of an ague; and his heart sank and his teeth chattered
still more when they perceived distinctly that behind them there
came a litter covered over with black and followed by six more mounted
figures in mourning down to the very feet of their mules- for they
could perceive plainly they were not horses by the easy pace at
which they went. And as the encamisados came along they muttered to
themselves in a low plaintive tone. This strange spectacle at such
an hour and in such a solitary place was quite enough to strike terror
into Sancho's heart, and even into his master's; and (save in Don
Quixote's case) did so, for all Sancho's resolution had now broken
down. It was just the opposite with his master, whose imagination
immediately conjured up all this to him vividly as one of the
adventures of his books.
  He took it into his head that the litter was a bier on which was
borne some sorely wounded or slain knight, to avenge whom was a task
reserved for him alone; and without any further reasoning he laid
his lance in rest, fixed himself firmly in his saddle, and with
gallant spirit and bearing took up his position in the middle of the
road where the encamisados must of necessity pass; and as soon as he
saw them near at hand he raised his voice and said:
  "Halt, knights, or whosoever ye may be, and render me account of who
ye are, whence ye come, where ye go, what it is ye carry upon that
bier, for, to judge by appearances, either ye have done some wrong
or some wrong has been done to you, and it is fitting and necessary
that I should know, either that I may chastise you for the evil ye
have done, or else that I may avenge you for the injury that has
been inflicted upon you."
  "We are in haste," answered one of the encamisados, "and the inn
is far off, and we cannot stop to render you such an account as you
demand;" and spurring his mule he moved on.
  Don Quixote was mightily provoked by this answer, and seizing the
mule by the bridle he said, "Halt, and be more mannerly, and render an
account of what I have asked of you; else, take my defiance to combat,
all of you."
  The mule was shy, and was so frightened at her bridle being seized
that rearing up she flung her rider to the ground over her haunches.
An attendant who was on foot, seeing the encamisado fall, began to
abuse Don Quixote, who now moved to anger, without any more ado,
laying his lance in rest charged one of the men in mourning and
brought him badly wounded to the ground, and as he wheeled round
upon the others the agility with which he attacked and routed them was
a sight to see, for it seemed just as if wings had that instant
grown upon Rocinante, so lightly and proudly did he bear himself.
The encamisados were all timid folk and unarmed, so they speedily made
their escape from the fray and set off at a run across the plain
with their lighted torches, looking exactly like maskers running on
some gala or festival night. The mourners, too, enveloped and
swathed in their skirts and gowns, were unable to bestir themselves,
and so with entire safety to himself Don Quixote belaboured them all
and drove them off against their will, for they all thought it was
no man but a devil from hell come to carry away the dead body they had
in the litter.
  Sancho beheld all this in astonishment at the intrepidity of his
lord, and said to himself, "Clearly this master of mine is as bold and
valiant as he says he is."
  A burning torch lay on the ground near the first man whom the mule
had thrown, by the light of which Don Quixote perceived him, and
coming up to him he presented the point of the lance to his face,
calling on him to yield himself prisoner, or else he would kill him;
to which the prostrate man replied, "I am prisoner enough as it is;
I cannot stir, for one of my legs is broken: I entreat you, if you
be a Christian gentleman, not to kill me, which will be committing
grave sacrilege, for I am a licentiate and I hold first orders."
  "Then what the devil brought you here, being a churchman?" said
Don Quixote.
  "What, senor?" said the other. "My bad luck."
  "Then still worse awaits you," said Don Quixote, "if you do not
satisfy me as to all I asked you at first."
  "You shall be soon satisfied," said the licentiate; "you must
know, then, that though just now I said I was a licentiate, I am
only a bachelor, and my name is Alonzo Lopez; I am a native of
Alcobendas, I come from the city of Baeza with eleven others, priests,
the same who fled with the torches, and we are going to the city of
Segovia accompanying a dead body which is in that litter, and is
that of a gentleman who died in Baeza, where he was interred; and now,
as I said, we are taking his bones to their burial-place, which is
in Segovia, where he was born."
  "And who killed him?" asked Don Quixote.
  "God, by means of a malignant fever that took him," answered the
bachelor.
  "In that case," said Don Quixote, "the Lord has relieved me of the
task of avenging his death had any other slain him; but, he who slew
him having slain him, there is nothing for it but to be silent, and
shrug one's shoulders; I should do the same were he to slay myself;
and I would have your reverence know that I am a knight of La
Mancha, Don Quixote by name, and it is my business and calling to roam
the world righting wrongs and redressing injuries."
  "I do not know how that about righting wrongs can be," said the
bachelor, "for from straight you have made me crooked, leaving me with
a broken leg that will never see itself straight again all the days of
its life; and the injury you have redressed in my case has been to
leave me injured in such a way that I shall remain injured for ever;
and the height of misadventure it was to fall in with you who go in
search of adventures."
  "Things do not all happen in the same way," answered Don Quixote;
"it all came, Sir Bachelor Alonzo Lopez, of your going, as you did, by
night, dressed in those surplices, with lighted torches, praying,
covered with mourning, so that naturally you looked like something
evil and of the other world; and so I could not avoid doing my duty in
attacking you, and I should have attacked you even had I known
positively that you were the very devils of hell, for such I certainly
believed and took you to be."
  "As my fate has so willed it," said the bachelor, "I entreat you,
sir knight-errant, whose errand has been such an evil one for me, to
help me to get from under this mule that holds one of my legs caught
between the stirrup and the saddle."
  "I would have talked on till to-morrow," said Don Quixote; "how long
were you going to wait before telling me of your distress?"
  He at once called to Sancho, who, however, had no mind to come, as
he was just then engaged in unloading a sumpter mule, well laden
with provender, which these worthy gentlemen had brought with them.
Sancho made a bag of his coat, and, getting together as much as he
could, and as the bag would hold, he loaded his beast, and then
hastened to obey his master's call, and helped him to remove the
bachelor from under the mule; then putting him on her back he gave him
the torch, and Don Quixote bade him follow the track of his
companions, and beg pardon of them on his part for the wrong which
he could not help doing them.
  And said Sancho, "If by chance these gentlemen should want to know
who was the hero that served them so, your worship may tell them
that he is the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha, otherwise called the
Knight of the Rueful Countenance."
  The bachelor then took his departure.
  I forgot to mention that before he did so he said to Don Quixote,
"Remember that you stand excommunicated for having laid violent
hands on a holy thing, juxta illud, si quis, suadente diabolo."
  "I do not understand that Latin," answered Don Quixote, "but I
know well I did not lay hands, only this pike; besides, I did not
think I was committing an assault upon priests or things of the
Church, which, like a Catholic and faithful Christian as I am, I
respect and revere, but upon phantoms and spectres of the other world;
but even so, I remember how it fared with Cid Ruy Diaz when he broke
the chair of the ambassador of that king before his Holiness the Pope,
who excommunicated him for the same; and yet the good Roderick of
Vivar bore himself that day like a very noble and valiant knight."
  On hearing this the bachelor took his departure, as has been said,
without making any reply; and Don Quixote asked Sancho what had
induced him to call him the "Knight of the Rueful Countenance" more
then than at any other time.
  "I will tell you," answered Sancho; "it was because I have been
looking at you for some time by the light of the torch held by that
unfortunate, and verily your worship has got of late the most
ill-favoured countenance I ever saw: it must be either owing to the
fatigue of this combat, or else to the want of teeth and grinders."
  "It is not that," replied Don Quixote, "but because the sage whose
duty it will be to write the history of my achievements must have
thought it proper that I should take some distinctive name as all
knights of yore did; one being 'He of the Burning Sword,' another
'He of the Unicorn,' this one 'He of the Damsels,' that 'He of the
Phoenix,' another 'The Knight of the Griffin,' and another 'He of
the Death,' and by these names and designations they were known all
the world round; and so I say that the sage aforesaid must have put it
into your mouth and mind just now to call me 'The Knight of the Rueful
Countenance,' as I intend to call myself from this day forward; and
that the said name may fit me better, I mean, when the opportunity
offers, to have a very rueful countenance painted on my shield."
  "There is no occasion, senor, for wasting time or money on making
that countenance," said Sancho; "for all that need be done is for your
worship to show your own, face to face, to those who look at you,
and without anything more, either image or shield, they will call
you 'Him of the Rueful Countenance' and believe me I am telling you
the truth, for I assure you, senor (and in good part be it said),
hunger and the loss of your grinders have given you such an
ill-favoured face that, as I say, the rueful picture may be very
well spared."
  Don Quixote laughed at Sancho's pleasantry; nevertheless he resolved
to call himself by that name, and have his shield or buckler painted
as he had devised.
  Don Quixote would have looked to see whether the body in the
litter were bones or not, but Sancho would not have it, saying:
  "Senor, you have ended this perilous adventure more safely for
yourself than any of those I have seen: perhaps these people, though
beaten and routed, may bethink themselves that it is a single man that
has beaten them, and feeling sore and ashamed of it may take heart and
come in search of us and give us trouble enough. The ass is in
proper trim, the mountains are near at hand, hunger presses, we have
nothing more to do but make good our retreat, and, as the saying is,
the dead to the grave and the living to the loaf."
  And driving his ass before him he begged his master to follow,
who, feeling that Sancho was right, did so without replying; and after
proceeding some little distance between two hills they found
themselves in a wide and retired valley, where they alighted, and
Sancho unloaded his beast, and stretched upon the green grass, with
hunger for sauce, they breakfasted, dined, lunched, and supped all
at once, satisfying their appetites with more than one store of cold
meat which the dead man's clerical gentlemen (who seldom put
themselves on short allowance) had brought with them on their
sumpter mule. But another piece of ill-luck befell them, which
Sancho held the worst of all, and that was that they had no wine to
drink, nor even water to moisten their lips; and as thirst tormented
them, Sancho, observing that the meadow where they were was full of
green and tender grass, said what will be told in the following
chapter.
  CHAPTER XX
  OF THE UNEXAMPLED AND UNHEARD-OF ADVENTURE WHICH WAS ACHIEVED BY THE
VALIANT DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA WITH LESS PERIL THAN ANY EVER
ACHIEVED BY ANY FAMOUS KNIGHT IN THE WORLD

  "IT CANNOT be, senor, but that this grass is a proof that there must
be hard by some spring or brook to give it moisture, so it would be
well to move a little farther on, that we may find some place where we
may quench this terrible thirst that plagues us, which beyond a
doubt is more distressing than hunger."
  The advice seemed good to Don Quixote, and, he leading Rocinante
by the bridle and Sancho the ass by the halter, after he had packed
away upon him the remains of the supper, they advanced the meadow
feeling their way, for the darkness of the night made it impossible to
see anything; but they had not gone two hundred paces when a loud
noise of water, as if falling from great rocks, struck their ears. The
sound cheered them greatly; but halting to make out by listening
from what quarter it came they heard unseasonably another noise
which spoiled the satisfaction the sound of the water gave them,
especially for Sancho, who was by nature timid and faint-hearted. They
heard, I say, strokes falling with a measured beat, and a certain
rattling of iron and chains that, together with the furious din of the
water, would have struck terror into any heart but Don Quixote's.
The night was, as has been said, dark, and they had happened to
reach a spot in among some tall trees, whose leaves stirred by a
gentle breeze made a low ominous sound; so that, what with the
solitude, the place, the darkness, the noise of the water, and the
rustling of the leaves, everything inspired awe and dread; more
especially as they perceived that the strokes did not cease, nor the
wind lull, nor morning approach; to all which might be added their
ignorance as to where they were. But Don Quixote, supported by his
intrepid heart, leaped on Rocinante, and bracing his buckler on his
arm, brought his pike to the slope, and said, "Friend Sancho, know
that I by Heaven's will have been born in this our iron age to
revive revive in it the age of gold, or the golden as it is called;
I am he for whom perils, mighty achievements, and valiant deeds are
reserved; I am, I say again, he who is to revive the Knights of the
Round Table, the Twelve of France and the Nine Worthies; and he who is
to consign to oblivion the Platirs, the Tablantes, the Olivantes and
Tirantes, the Phoebuses and Belianises, with the whole herd of
famous knights-errant of days gone by, performing in these in which
I live such exploits, marvels, and feats of arms as shall obscure
their brightest deeds. Thou dost mark well, faithful and trusty
squire, the gloom of this night, its strange silence, the dull
confused murmur of those trees, the awful sound of that water in quest
of which we came, that seems as though it were precipitating and
dashing itself down from the lofty mountains of the Moon, and that
incessant hammering that wounds and pains our ears; which things all
together and each of itself are enough to instil fear, dread, and
dismay into the breast of Mars himself, much more into one not used to
hazards and adventures of the kind. Well, then, all this that I put
before thee is but an incentive and stimulant to my spirit, making
my heart burst in my bosom through eagerness to engage in this
adventure, arduous as it promises to be; therefore tighten Rocinante's
girths a little, and God be with thee; wait for me here three days and
no more, and if in that time I come not back, thou canst return to our
village, and thence, to do me a favour and a service, thou wilt go
to El Toboso, where thou shalt say to my incomparable lady Dulcinea
that her captive knight hath died in attempting things that might make
him worthy of being called hers."
  When Sancho heard his master's words he began to weep in the most
pathetic way, saying:
  "Senor, I know not why your worship wants to attempt this so
dreadful adventure; it is night now, no one sees us here, we can
easily turn about and take ourselves out of danger, even if we don't
drink for three days to come; and as there is no one to see us, all
the less will there be anyone to set us down as cowards; besides, I
have many a time heard the curate of our village, whom your worship
knows well, preach that he who seeks danger perishes in it; so it is
not right to tempt God by trying so tremendous a feat from which there
can be no escape save by a miracle, and Heaven has performed enough of
them for your worship in delivering you from being blanketed as I was,
and bringing you out victorious and safe and sound from among all
those enemies that were with the dead man; and if all this does not
move or soften that hard heart, let this thought and reflection move
it, that you will have hardly quitted this spot when from pure fear
I shall yield my soul up to anyone that will take it. I left home
and wife and children to come and serve your worship, trusting to do
better and not worse; but as covetousness bursts the bag, it has
rent my hopes asunder, for just as I had them highest about getting
that wretched unlucky island your worship has so often promised me,
I see that instead and in lieu of it you mean to desert me now in a
place so far from human reach: for God's sake, master mine, deal not
so unjustly by me, and if your worship will not entirely give up
attempting this feat, at least put it off till morning, for by what
the lore I learned when I was a shepherd tells me it cannot want three
hours of dawn now, because the mouth of the Horn is overhead and makes
midnight in the line of the left arm."
  "How canst thou see, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "where it makes that
line, or where this mouth or this occiput is that thou talkest of,
when the night is so dark that there is not a star to be seen in the
whole heaven?"
  "That's true," said Sancho, "but fear has sharp eyes, and sees
things underground, much more above in heavens; besides, there is good
reason to show that it now wants but little of day."
  "Let it want what it may," replied Don Quixote, "it shall not be
said of me now or at any time that tears or entreaties turned me aside
from doing what was in accordance with knightly usage; and so I beg of
thee, Sancho, to hold thy peace, for God, who has put it into my heart
to undertake now this so unexampled and terrible adventure, will
take care to watch over my safety and console thy sorrow; what thou
hast to do is to tighten Rocinante's girths well, and wait here, for I
shall come back shortly, alive or dead."
  Sancho perceiving it his master's final resolve, and how little
his tears, counsels, and entreaties prevailed with him, determined
to have recourse to his own ingenuity and compel him, if he could,
to wait till daylight; and so, while tightening the girths of the
horse, he quietly and without being felt, with his ass' halter tied
both Rocinante's legs, so that when Don Quixote strove to go he was
unable as the horse could only move by jumps. Seeing the success of
his trick, Sancho Panza said:
  "See there, senor! Heaven, moved by my tears and prayers, has so
ordered it that Rocinante cannot stir; and if you will be obstinate,
and spur and strike him, you will only provoke fortune, and kick, as
they say, against the pricks."
  Don Quixote at this grew desperate, but the more he drove his
heels into the horse, the less he stirred him; and not having any
suspicion of the tying, he was fain to resign himself and wait till
daybreak or until Rocinante could move, firmly persuaded that all this
came of something other than Sancho's ingenuity. So he said to him,
"As it is so, Sancho, and as Rocinante cannot move, I am content to
wait till dawn smiles upon us, even though I weep while it delays
its coming."
  "There is no need to weep," answered Sancho, "for I will amuse
your worship by telling stories from this till daylight, unless indeed
you like to dismount and lie down to sleep a little on the green grass
after the fashion of knights-errant, so as to be fresher when day
comes and the moment arrives for attempting this extraordinary
adventure you are looking forward to."
  "What art thou talking about dismounting or sleeping for?" said
Don Quixote. "Am I, thinkest thou, one of those knights that take
their rest in the presence of danger? Sleep thou who art born to
sleep, or do as thou wilt, for I will act as I think most consistent
with my character."
  "Be not angry, master mine," replied Sancho, "I did not mean to
say that;" and coming close to him he laid one hand on the pommel of
the saddle and the other on the cantle so that he held his master's
left thigh in his embrace, not daring to separate a finger's width
from him; so much afraid was he of the strokes which still resounded
with a regular beat. Don Quixote bade him tell some story to amuse him
as he had proposed, to which Sancho replied that he would if his dread
of what he heard would let him; "Still," said he, "I will strive to
tell a story which, if I can manage to relate it, and nobody
interferes with the telling, is the best of stories, and let your
worship give me your attention, for here I begin. What was, was; and
may the good that is to come be for all, and the evil for him who goes
to look for it -your worship must know that the beginning the old folk
used to put to their tales was not just as each one pleased; it was
a maxim of Cato Zonzorino the Roman, that says 'the evil for him
that goes to look for it,' and it comes as pat to the purpose now as
ring to finger, to show that your worship should keep quiet and not go
looking for evil in any quarter, and that we should go back by some
other road, since nobody forces us to follow this in which so many
terrors affright us."
  "Go on with thy story, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and leave the
choice of our road to my care."
  "I say then," continued Sancho, "that in a village of Estremadura
there was a goat-shepherd -that is to say, one who tended goats- which
shepherd or goatherd, as my story goes, was called Lope Ruiz, and this
Lope Ruiz was in love with a shepherdess called Torralva, which
shepherdess called Torralva was the daughter of a rich grazier, and
this rich grazier-"
  "If that is the way thou tellest thy tale, Sancho," said Don
Quixote, "repeating twice all thou hast to say, thou wilt not have
done these two days; go straight on with it, and tell it like a
reasonable man, or else say nothing."
  "Tales are always told in my country in the very way I am telling
this," answered Sancho, "and I cannot tell it in any other, nor is
it right of your worship to ask me to make new customs."
  "Tell it as thou wilt," replied Don Quixote; "and as fate will
have it that I cannot help listening to thee, go on."
  "And so, lord of my soul," continued Sancho, as I have said, this
shepherd was in love with Torralva the shepherdess, who was a wild
buxom lass with something of the look of a man about her, for she
had little moustaches; I fancy I see her now."
  "Then you knew her?" said Don Quixote.
  "I did not know her," said Sancho, "but he who told me the story
said it was so true and certain that when I told it to another I might
safely declare and swear I had seen it all myself. And so in course of
time, the devil, who never sleeps and puts everything in confusion,
contrived that the love the shepherd bore the shepherdess turned
into hatred and ill-will, and the reason, according to evil tongues,
was some little jealousy she caused him that crossed the line and
trespassed on forbidden ground; and so much did the shepherd hate
her from that time forward that, in order to escape from her, he
determined to quit the country and go where he should never set eyes
on her again. Torralva, when she found herself spurned by Lope, was
immediately smitten with love for him, though she had never loved
him before."
  "That is the natural way of women," said Don Quixote, "to scorn
the one that loves them, and love the one that hates them: go on,
Sancho."
  "It came to pass," said Sancho, "that the shepherd carried out his
intention, and driving his goats before him took his way across the
plains of Estremadura to pass over into the Kingdom of Portugal.
Torralva, who knew of it, went after him, and on foot and barefoot
followed him at a distance, with a pilgrim's staff in her hand and a
scrip round her neck, in which she carried, it is said, a bit of
looking-glass and a piece of a comb and some little pot or other of
paint for her face; but let her carry what she did, I am not going
to trouble myself to prove it; all I say is, that the shepherd, they
say, came with his flock to cross over the river Guadiana, which was
at that time swollen and almost overflowing its banks, and at the spot
he came to there was neither ferry nor boat nor anyone to carry him or
his flock to the other side, at which he was much vexed, for he
perceived that Torralva was approaching and would give him great
annoyance with her tears and entreaties; however, he went looking
about so closely that he discovered a fisherman who had alongside of
him a boat so small that it could only hold one person and one goat;
but for all that he spoke to him and agreed with him to carry
himself and his three hundred goats across. The fisherman got into the
boat and carried one goat over; he came back and carried another over;
he came back again, and again brought over another- let your worship
keep count of the goats the fisherman is taking across, for if one
escapes the memory there will be an end of the story, and it will be
impossible to tell another word of it. To proceed, I must tell you the
landing place on the other side was miry and slippery, and the
fisherman lost a great deal of time in going and coming; still he
returned for another goat, and another, and another."
  "Take it for granted he brought them all across," said Don
Quixote, "and don't keep going and coming in this way, or thou wilt
not make an end of bringing them over this twelvemonth."
  "How many have gone across so far?" said Sancho.
  "How the devil do I know?" replied Don Quixote.
  "There it is," said Sancho, "what I told you, that you must keep a
good count; well then, by God, there is an end of the story, for there
is no going any farther."
  "How can that be?" said Don Quixote; "is it so essential to the
story to know to a nicety the goats that have crossed over, that if
there be a mistake of one in the reckoning, thou canst not go on
with it?"
  "No, senor, not a bit," replied Sancho; "for when I asked your
worship to tell me how many goats had crossed, and you answered you
did not know, at that very instant all I had to say passed away out of
my memory, and, faith, there was much virtue in it, and
entertainment."
  "So, then," said Don Quixote, "the story has come to an end?"
  "As much as my mother has," said Sancho.
  "In truth," said Don Quixote, "thou hast told one of the rarest
stories, tales, or histories, that anyone in the world could have
imagined, and such a way of telling it and ending it was never seen
nor will be in a lifetime; though I expected nothing else from thy
excellent understanding. But I do not wonder, for perhaps those
ceaseless strokes may have confused thy wits."
  "All that may be," replied Sancho, "but I know that as to my
story, all that can be said is that it ends there where the mistake in
the count of the passage of the goats begins."
  "Let it end where it will, well and good," said Don Quixote, "and
let us see if Rocinante can go;" and again he spurred him, and again
Rocinante made jumps and remained where he was, so well tied was he.
  Just then, whether it was the cold of the morning that was now
approaching, or that he had eaten something laxative at supper, or
that it was only natural (as is most likely), Sancho felt a desire
to do what no one could do for him; but so great was the fear that had
penetrated his heart, he dared not separate himself from his master by
as much as the black of his nail; to escape doing what he wanted
was, however, also impossible; so what he did for peace's sake was
to remove his right hand, which held the back of the saddle, and
with it to untie gently and silently the running string which alone
held up his breeches, so that on loosening it they at once fell down
round his feet like fetters; he then raised his shirt as well as he
could and bared his hind quarters, no slim ones. But, this
accomplished, which he fancied was all he had to do to get out of this
terrible strait and embarrassment, another still greater difficulty
presented itself, for it seemed to him impossible to relieve himself
without making some noise, and he ground his teeth and squeezed his
shoulders together, holding his breath as much as he could; but in
spite of his precautions he was unlucky enough after all to make a
little noise, very different from that which was causing him so much
fear.
  Don Quixote, hearing it, said, "What noise is that, Sancho?"
  "I don't know, senor," said he; "it must be something new, for
adventures and misadventures never begin with a trifle." Once more
he tried his luck, and succeeded so well, that without any further
noise or disturbance he found himself relieved of the burden that
had given him so much discomfort. But as Don Quixote's sense of
smell was as acute as his hearing, and as Sancho was so closely linked
with him that the fumes rose almost in a straight line, it could not
be but that some should reach his nose, and as soon as they did he
came to its relief by compressing it between his fingers, saying in
a rather snuffing tone, "Sancho, it strikes me thou art in great
fear."
  "I am," answered Sancho; "but how does your worship perceive it
now more than ever?"
  "Because just now thou smellest stronger than ever, and not of
ambergris," answered Don Quixote.
  "Very likely," said Sancho, "but that's not my fault, but your
worship's, for leading me about at unseasonable hours and at such
unwonted paces."
  "Then go back three or four, my friend," said Don Quixote, all the
time with his fingers to his nose; "and for the future pay more
attention to thy person and to what thou owest to mine; for it is my
great familiarity with thee that has bred this contempt."
  "I'll bet," replied Sancho, "that your worship thinks I have done
something I ought not with my person."
  "It makes it worse to stir it, friend Sancho," returned Don Quixote.
  With this and other talk of the same sort master and man passed
the night, till Sancho, perceiving that daybreak was coming on
apace, very cautiously untied Rocinante and tied up his breeches. As
soon as Rocinante found himself free, though by nature he was not at
all mettlesome, he seemed to feel lively and began pawing- for as to
capering, begging his pardon, he knew not what it meant. Don
Quixote, then, observing that Rocinante could move, took it as a
good sign and a signal that he should attempt the dread adventure.
By this time day had fully broken and everything showed distinctly,
and Don Quixote saw that he was among some tall trees, chestnuts,
which cast a very deep shade; he perceived likewise that the sound
of the strokes did not cease, but could not discover what caused it,
and so without any further delay he let Rocinante feel the spur, and
once more taking leave of Sancho, he told him to wait for him there
three days at most, as he had said before, and if he should not have
returned by that time, he might feel sure it had been God's will
that he should end his days in that perilous adventure. He again
repeated the message and commission with which he was to go on his
behalf to his lady Dulcinea, and said he was not to be uneasy as to
the payment of his services, for before leaving home he had made his
will, in which he would find himself fully recompensed in the matter
of wages in due proportion to the time he had served; but if God
delivered him safe, sound, and unhurt out of that danger, he might
look upon the promised island as much more than certain. Sancho
began to weep afresh on again hearing the affecting words of his
good master, and resolved to stay with him until the final issue and
end of the business. From these tears and this honourable resolve of
Sancho Panza's the author of this history infers that he must have
been of good birth and at least an old Christian; and the feeling he
displayed touched his but not so much as to make him show any
weakness; on the contrary, hiding what he felt as well as he could, he
began to move towards that quarter whence the sound of the water and
of the strokes seemed to come.
  Sancho followed him on foot, leading by the halter, as his custom
was, his ass, his constant comrade in prosperity or adversity; and
advancing some distance through the shady chestnut trees they came
upon a little meadow at the foot of some high rocks, down which a
mighty rush of water flung itself. At the foot of the rocks were
some rudely constructed houses looking more like ruins than houses,
from among which came, they perceived, the din and clatter of blows,
which still continued without intermission. Rocinante took fright at
the noise of the water and of the blows, but quieting him Don
Quixote advanced step by step towards the houses, commending himself
with all his heart to his lady, imploring her support in that dread
pass and enterprise, and on the way commending himself to God, too,
not to forget him. Sancho who never quitted his side, stretched his
neck as far as he could and peered between the legs of Rocinante to
see if he could now discover what it was that caused him such fear and
apprehension. They went it might be a hundred paces farther, when on
turning a corner the true cause, beyond the possibility of any
mistake, of that dread-sounding and to them awe-inspiring noise that
had kept them all the night in such fear and perplexity, appeared
plain and obvious; and it was (if, reader, thou art not disgusted
and disappointed) six fulling hammers which by their alternate strokes
made all the din.
  When Don Quixote perceived what it was, he was struck dumb and rigid
from head to foot. Sancho glanced at him and saw him with his head
bent down upon his breast in manifest mortification; and Don Quixote
glanced at Sancho and saw him with his cheeks puffed out and his mouth
full of laughter, and evidently ready to explode with it, and in spite
of his vexation he could not help laughing at the sight of him; and
when Sancho saw his master begin he let go so heartily that he had
to hold his sides with both hands to keep himself from bursting with
laughter. Four times he stopped, and as many times did his laughter
break out afresh with the same violence as at first, whereat Don
Quixote grew furious, above all when he heard him say mockingly, "Thou
must know, friend Sancho, that of Heaven's will I was born in this our
iron age to revive in it the golden or age of gold; I am he for whom
are reserved perils, mighty achievements, valiant deeds;" and here
he went on repeating the words that Don Quixote uttered the first time
they heard the awful strokes.
  Don Quixote, then, seeing that Sancho was turning him into ridicule,
was so mortified and vexed that he lifted up his pike and smote him
two such blows that if, instead of catching them on his shoulders,
he had caught them on his head there would have been no wages to
pay, unless indeed to his heirs. Sancho seeing that he was getting
an awkward return in earnest for his jest, and fearing his master
might carry it still further, said to him very humbly, "Calm yourself,
sir, for by God I am only joking."
  "Well, then, if you are joking I am not," replied Don Quixote. "Look
here, my lively gentleman, if these, instead of being fulling hammers,
had been some perilous adventure, have I not, think you, shown the
courage required for the attempt and achievement? Am I, perchance,
being, as I am, a gentleman, bound to know and distinguish sounds
and tell whether they come from fulling mills or not; and that, when
perhaps, as is the case, I have never in my life seen any as you have,
low boor as you are, that have been born and bred among them? But turn
me these six hammers into six giants, and bring them to beard me,
one by one or all together, and if I do not knock them head over
heels, then make what mockery you like of me."
  "No more of that, senor," returned Sancho; "I own I went a little
too far with the joke. But tell me, your worship, now that peace is
made between us (and may God bring you out of all the adventures
that may befall you as safe and sound as he has brought you out of
this one), was it not a thing to laugh at, and is it not a good story,
the great fear we were in?- at least that I was in; for as to your
worship I see now that you neither know nor understand what either
fear or dismay is."
  "I do not deny," said Don Quixote, "that what happened to us may
be worth laughing at, but it is not worth making a story about, for it
is not everyone that is shrewd enough to hit the right point of a
thing."
  "At any rate," said Sancho, "your worship knew how to hit the
right point with your pike, aiming at my head and hitting me on the
shoulders, thanks be to God and my own smartness in dodging it. But
let that pass; all will come out in the scouring; for I have heard say
'he loves thee well that makes thee weep;' and moreover that it is the
way with great lords after any hard words they give a servant to
give him a pair of breeches; though I do not know what they give after
blows, unless it be that knights-errant after blows give islands, or
kingdoms on the mainland."
  "It may be on the dice," said Don Quixote, "that all thou sayest
will come true; overlook the past, for thou art shrewd enough to
know that our first movements are not in our own control; and one
thing for the future bear in mind, that thou curb and restrain thy
loquacity in my company; for in all the books of chivalry that I
have read, and they are innumerable, I never met with a squire who
talked so much to his lord as thou dost to thine; and in fact I feel
it to be a great fault of thine and of mine: of thine, that thou
hast so little respect for me; of mine, that I do not make myself more
respected. There was Gandalin, the squire of Amadis of Gaul, that
was Count of the Insula Firme, and we read of him that he always
addressed his lord with his cap in his hand, his head bowed down and
his body bent double, more turquesco. And then, what shall we say of
Gasabal, the squire of Galaor, who was so silent that in order to
indicate to us the greatness of his marvellous taciturnity his name is
only once mentioned in the whole of that history, as long as it is
truthful? From all I have said thou wilt gather, Sancho, that there
must be a difference between master and man, between lord and
lackey, between knight and squire: so that from this day forward in
our intercourse we must observe more respect and take less
liberties, for in whatever way I may be provoked with you it will be
bad for the pitcher. The favours and benefits that I have promised you
will come in due time, and if they do not your wages at least will not
be lost, as I have already told you."
  "All that your worship says is very well," said Sancho, "but I
should like to know (in case the time of favours should not come,
and it might be necessary to fall back upon wages) how much did the
squire of a knight-errant get in those days, and did they agree by the
month, or by the day like bricklayers?"
  "I do not believe," replied Don Quixote, "that such squires were
ever on wages, but were dependent on favour; and if I have now
mentioned thine in the sealed will I have left at home, it was with
a view to what may happen; for as yet I know not how chivalry will
turn out in these wretched times of ours, and I do not wish my soul to
suffer for trifles in the other world; for I would have thee know,
Sancho, that in this there is no condition more hazardous than that of
adventurers."
  "That is true," said Sancho, "since the mere noise of the hammers of
a fulling mill can disturb and disquiet the heart of such a valiant
errant adventurer as your worship; but you may be sure I will not open
my lips henceforward to make light of anything of your worship's,
but only to honour you as my master and natural lord."
  "By so doing," replied Don Quixote, "shalt thou live long on the
face of the earth; for next to parents, masters are to be respected as
though they were parents."
  CHAPTER XXI
  WHICH TREATS OF THE EXALTED ADVENTURE AND RICH PRIZE OF MAMBRINO'S
HELMET, TOGETHER WITH OTHER THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO OUR INVINCIBLE
KNIGHT

  IT NOW began to rain a little, and Sancho was for going into the
fulling mills, but Don Quixote had taken such an abhorrence to them on
account of the late joke that he would not enter them on any
account; so turning aside to right they came upon another road,
different from that which they had taken the night before. Shortly
afterwards Don Quixote perceived a man on horseback who wore on his
head something that shone like gold, and the moment he saw him he
turned to Sancho and said:
  "I think, Sancho, there is no proverb that is not true, all being
maxims drawn from experience itself, the mother of all the sciences,
especially that one that says, 'Where one door shuts, another
opens.' I say so because if last night fortune shut the door of the
adventure we were looking for against us, cheating us with the fulling
mills, it now opens wide another one for another better and more
certain adventure, and if I do not contrive to enter it, it will be my
own fault, and I cannot lay it to my ignorance of fulling mills, or
the darkness of the night. I say this because, if I mistake not, there
comes towards us one who wears on his head the helmet of Mambrino,
concerning which I took the oath thou rememberest."
  "Mind what you say, your worship, and still more what you do,"
said Sancho, "for I don't want any more fulling mills to finish off
fulling and knocking our senses out."
  "The devil take thee, man," said Don Quixote; "what has a helmet
to do with fulling mills?"
  "I don't know," replied Sancho, "but, faith, if I might speak as I
used, perhaps I could give such reasons that your worship would see
you were mistaken in what you say."
  "How can I be mistaken in what I say, unbelieving traitor?" returned
Don Quixote; "tell me, seest thou not yonder knight coming towards
us on a dappled grey steed, who has upon his head a helmet of gold?"
  "What I see and make out," answered Sancho, "is only a man on a grey
ass like my own, who has something that shines on his head."
  "Well, that is the helmet of Mambrino," said Don Quixote; "stand
to one side and leave me alone with him; thou shalt see how, without
saying a word, to save time, I shall bring this adventure to an
issue and possess myself of the helmet I have so longed for."
  "I will take care to stand aside," said Sancho; "but God grant, I
say once more, that it may be marjoram and not fulling mills."
  "I have told thee, brother, on no account to mention those fulling
mills to me again," said Don Quixote, "or I vow- and I say no more-
I'll full the soul out of you."
  Sancho held his peace in dread lest his master should carry out
the vow he had hurled like a bowl at him.
  The fact of the matter as regards the helmet, steed, and knight that
Don Quixote saw, was this. In that neighbourhood there were two
villages, one of them so small that it had neither apothecary's shop
nor barber, which the other that was close to it had, so the barber of
the larger served the smaller, and in it there was a sick man who
required to be bled and another man who wanted to be shaved, and on
this errand the barber was going, carrying with him a brass basin; but
as luck would have it, as he was on the way it began to rain, and
not to spoil his hat, which probably was a new one, he put the basin
on his head, and being clean it glittered at half a league's distance.
He rode upon a grey ass, as Sancho said, and this was what made it
seem to Don Quixote to be a dapple-grey steed and a knight and a
golden helmet; for everything he saw he made to fall in with his crazy
chivalry and ill-errant notions; and when he saw the poor knight
draw near, without entering into any parley with him, at Rocinante's
top speed he bore down upon him with the pike pointed low, fully
determined to run him through and through, and as he reached him,
without checking the fury of his charge, he cried to him:
  "Defend thyself, miserable being, or yield me of thine own accord
that which is so reasonably my due."
  The barber, who without any expectation or apprehension of it saw
this apparition coming down upon him, had no other way of saving
himself from the stroke of the lance but to let himself fall off his
ass; and no sooner had he touched the ground than he sprang up more
nimbly than a deer and sped away across the plain faster than the
wind.
  He left the basin on the ground, with which Don Quixote contented
himself, saying that the pagan had shown his discretion and imitated
the beaver, which finding itself pressed by the hunters bites and cuts
off with its teeth that for which, by its natural instinct, it knows
it is pursued.
  He told Sancho to pick up the helmet, and he taking it in his
hands said:
  "By God the basin is a good one, and worth a real of eight if it
is worth a maravedis," and handed it to his master, who immediately
put it on his head, turning it round, now this way, now that, in
search of fitment, and not finding it he said, "Clearly the pagan to
whose measure this famous head-piece was first forged must have had
a very large head; but the worst of it is half of it is wanting."
  When Sancho heard him call the basin a headpiece he was unable to
restrain his laughter, but remembering his master's wrath he checked
himself in the midst of it.
  "What art thou laughing at, Sancho?" said Don Quixote.
  "I am laughing," said he, "to think of the great head the pagan must
have had who owned this helmet, for it looks exactly like a regular
barber's basin."
  "Dost thou know what I suspect, Sancho?" said Don Quixote; "that
this wonderful piece of this enchanted helmet must by some strange
accident have come into the hands of some one who was unable to
recognise or realise its value, and who, not knowing what he did,
and seeing it to be of the purest gold, must have melted down one half
for the sake of what it might be worth, and of the other made this
which is like a barber's basin as thou sayest; but be it as it may, to
me who recognise it, its transformation makes no difference, for I
will set it to rights at the first village where there is a
blacksmith, and in such style that that helmet the god of smithies
forged for the god of battles shall not surpass it or even come up
to it; and in the meantime I will wear it as well as I can, for
something is better than nothing; all the more as it will be quite
enough to protect me from any chance blow of a stone."
  "That is," said Sancho, "if it is not shot with a sling as they were
in the battle of the two armies, when they signed the cross on your
worship's grinders and smashed the flask with that blessed draught
that made me vomit my bowels up."
  "It does not grieve me much to have lost it," said Don Quixote, "for
thou knowest, Sancho, that I have the receipt in my memory."
  "So have I," answered Sancho, "but if ever I make it, or try it
again as long as I live, may this be my last hour; moreover, I have no
intention of putting myself in the way of wanting it, for I mean, with
all my five senses, to keep myself from being wounded or from wounding
anyone: as to being blanketed again I say nothing, for it is hard to
prevent mishaps of that sort, and if they come there is nothing for it
but to squeeze our shoulders together, hold our breath, shut our eyes,
and let ourselves go where luck and the blanket may send us."
  "Thou art a bad Christian, Sancho," said Don Quixote on hearing
this, "for once an injury has been done thee thou never forgettest it:
but know that it is the part of noble and generous hearts not to
attach importance to trifles. What lame leg hast thou got by it,
what broken rib, what cracked head, that thou canst not forget that
jest? For jest and sport it was, properly regarded, and had I not seen
it in that light I would have returned and done more mischief in
revenging thee than the Greeks did for the rape of Helen, who, if
she were alive now, or if my Dulcinea had lived then, might depend
upon it she would not be so famous for her beauty as she is;" and here
he heaved a sigh and sent it aloft; and said Sancho, "Let it pass
for a jest as it cannot be revenged in earnest, but I know what sort
of jest and earnest it was, and I know it will never be rubbed out
of my memory any more than off my shoulders. But putting that aside,
will your worship tell me what are we to do with this dapple-grey
steed that looks like a grey ass, which that Martino that your worship
overthrew has left deserted here? for, from the way he took to his
heels and bolted, he is not likely ever to come back for it; and by my
beard but the grey is a good one."
  "I have never been in the habit," said Don Quixote, "of taking spoil
of those whom I vanquish, nor is it the practice of chivalry to take
away their horses and leave them to go on foot, unless indeed it be
that the victor have lost his own in the combat, in which case it is
lawful to take that of the vanquished as a thing won in lawful war;
therefore, Sancho, leave this horse, or ass, or whatever thou wilt
have it to be; for when its owner sees us gone hence he will come back
for it."
  "God knows I should like to take it," returned Sancho, "or at
least to change it for my own, which does not seem to me as good a
one: verily the laws of chivalry are strict, since they cannot be
stretched to let one ass be changed for another; I should like to know
if I might at least change trappings."
  "On that head I am not quite certain," answered Don Quixote, "and
the matter being doubtful, pending better information, I say thou
mayest change them, if so be thou hast urgent need of them."
  "So urgent is it," answered Sancho, "that if they were for my own
person I could not want them more;" and forthwith, fortified by this
licence, he effected the mutatio capparum, rigging out his beast to
the ninety-nines and making quite another thing of it. This done, they
broke their fast on the remains of the spoils of war plundered from
the sumpter mule, and drank of the brook that flowed from the
fulling mills, without casting a look in that direction, in such
loathing did they hold them for the alarm they had caused them; and,
all anger and gloom removed, they mounted and, without taking any
fixed road (not to fix upon any being the proper thing for true
knights-errant), they set out, guided by Rocinante's will, which
carried along with it that of his master, not to say that of the
ass, which always followed him wherever he led, lovingly and sociably;
nevertheless they returned to the high road, and pursued it at a
venture without any other aim.
  As they went along, then, in this way Sancho said to his master,
"Senor, would your worship give me leave to speak a little to you? For
since you laid that hard injunction of silence on me several things
have gone to rot in my stomach, and I have now just one on the tip
of my tongue that I don't want to be spoiled."
  "Say, on, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and be brief in thy discourse,
for there is no pleasure in one that is long."
  "Well then, senor," returned Sancho, "I say that for some days
past I have been considering how little is got or gained by going in
search of these adventures that your worship seeks in these wilds
and cross-roads, where, even if the most perilous are victoriously
achieved, there is no one to see or know of them, and so they must
be left untold for ever, to the loss of your worship's object and
the credit they deserve; therefore it seems to me it would be better
(saving your worship's better judgment) if we were to go and serve
some emperor or other great prince who may have some war on hand, in
whose service your worship may prove the worth of your person, your
great might, and greater understanding, on perceiving which the lord
in whose service we may be will perforce have to reward us, each
according to his merits; and there you will not be at a loss for
some one to set down your achievements in writing so as to preserve
their memory for ever. Of my own I say nothing, as they will not go
beyond squirely limits, though I make bold to say that, if it be the
practice in chivalry to write the achievements of squires, I think
mine must not be left out."
  "Thou speakest not amiss, Sancho," answered Don Quixote, "but before
that point is reached it is requisite to roam the world, as it were on
probation, seeking adventures, in order that, by achieving some,
name and fame may be acquired, such that when he betakes himself to
the court of some great monarch the knight may be already known by his
deeds, and that the boys, the instant they see him enter the gate of
the city, may all follow him and surround him, crying, 'This is the
Knight of the Sun'-or the Serpent, or any other title under which he
may have achieved great deeds. 'This,' they will say, 'is he who
vanquished in single combat the gigantic Brocabruno of mighty
strength; he who delivered the great Mameluke of Persia out of the
long enchantment under which he had been for almost nine hundred
years.' So from one to another they will go proclaiming his
achievements; and presently at the tumult of the boys and the others
the king of that kingdom will appear at the windows of his royal
palace, and as soon as he beholds the knight, recognising him by his
arms and the device on his shield, he will as a matter of course
say, 'What ho! Forth all ye, the knights of my court, to receive the
flower of chivalry who cometh hither!' At which command all will issue
forth, and he himself, advancing half-way down the stairs, will
embrace him closely, and salute him, kissing him on the cheek, and
will then lead him to the queen's chamber, where the knight will
find her with the princess her daughter, who will be one of the most
beautiful and accomplished damsels that could with the utmost pains be
discovered anywhere in the known world. Straightway it will come to
pass that she will fix her eyes upon the knight and he his upon her,
and each will seem to the other something more divine than human, and,
without knowing how or why they will be taken and entangled in the
inextricable toils of love, and sorely distressed in their hearts
not to see any way of making their pains and sufferings known by
speech. Thence they will lead him, no doubt, to some richly adorned
chamber of the palace, where, having removed his armour, they will
bring him a rich mantle of scarlet wherewith to robe himself, and if
he looked noble in his armour he will look still more so in a doublet.
When night comes he will sup with the king, queen, and princess; and
all the time he will never take his eyes off her, stealing stealthy
glances, unnoticed by those present, and she will do the same, and
with equal cautiousness, being, as I have said, a damsel of great
discretion. The tables being removed, suddenly through the door of the
hall there will enter a hideous and diminutive dwarf followed by a
fair dame, between two giants, who comes with a certain adventure, the
work of an ancient sage; and he who shall achieve it shall be deemed
the best knight in the world.
  "The king will then command all those present to essay it, and
none will bring it to an end and conclusion save the stranger
knight, to the great enhancement of his fame, whereat the princess
will be overjoyed and will esteem herself happy and fortunate in
having fixed and placed her thoughts so high. And the best of it is
that this king, or prince, or whatever he is, is engaged in a very
bitter war with another as powerful as himself, and the stranger
knight, after having been some days at his court, requests leave
from him to go and serve him in the said war. The king will grant it
very readily, and the knight will courteously kiss his hands for the
favour done to him; and that night he will take leave of his lady
the princess at the grating of the chamber where she sleeps, which
looks upon a garden, and at which he has already many times
conversed with her, the go-between and confidante in the matter
being a damsel much trusted by the princess. He will sigh, she will
swoon, the damsel will fetch water, much distressed because morning
approaches, and for the honour of her lady he would not that they were
discovered; at last the princess will come to herself and will present
her white hands through the grating to the knight, who will kiss
them a thousand and a thousand times, bathing them with his tears.
It will be arranged between them how they are to inform each other
of their good or evil fortunes, and the princess will entreat him to
make his absence as short as possible, which he will promise to do
with many oaths; once more he kisses her hands, and takes his leave in
such grief that he is well-nigh ready to die. He betakes him thence to
his chamber, flings himself on his bed, cannot sleep for sorrow at
parting, rises early in the morning, goes to take leave of the king,
queen, and princess, and, as he takes his leave of the pair, it is
told him that the princess is indisposed and cannot receive a visit;
the knight thinks it is from grief at his departure, his heart is
pierced, and he is hardly able to keep from showing his pain. The
confidante is present, observes all, goes to tell her mistress, who
listens with tears and says that one of her greatest distresses is not
knowing who this knight is, and whether he is of kingly lineage or
not; the damsel assures her that so much courtesy, gentleness, and
gallantry of bearing as her knight possesses could not exist in any
save one who was royal and illustrious; her anxiety is thus
relieved, and she strives to be of good cheer lest she should excite
suspicion in her parents, and at the end of two days she appears in
public. Meanwhile the knight has taken his departure; he fights in the
war, conquers the king's enemy, wins many cities, triumphs in many
battles, returns to the court, sees his lady where he was wont to
see her, and it is agreed that he shall demand her in marriage of
her parents as the reward of his services; the king is unwilling to
give her, as he knows not who he is, but nevertheless, whether carried
off or in whatever other way it may be, the princess comes to be his
bride, and her father comes to regard it as very good fortune; for
it so happens that this knight is proved to be the son of a valiant
king of some kingdom, I know not what, for I fancy it is not likely to
be on the map. The father dies, the princess inherits, and in two
words the knight becomes king. And here comes in at once the
bestowal of rewards upon his squire and all who have aided him in
rising to so exalted a rank. He marries his squire to a damsel of
the princess's, who will be, no doubt, the one who was confidante in
their amour, and is daughter of a very great duke."
  "That's what I want, and no mistake about it!" said Sancho.
"That's what I'm waiting for; for all this, word for word, is in store
for your worship under the title of the Knight of the Rueful
Countenance."
  "Thou needst not doubt it, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "for in the
same manner, and by the same steps as I have described here,
knights-errant rise and have risen to be kings and emperors; all we
want now is to find out what king, Christian or pagan, is at war and
has a beautiful daughter; but there will be time enough to think of
that, for, as I have told thee, fame must be won in other quarters
before repairing to the court. There is another thing, too, that is
wanting; for supposing we find a king who is at war and has a
beautiful daughter, and that I have won incredible fame throughout the
universe, I know not how it can be made out that I am of royal
lineage, or even second cousin to an emperor; for the king will not be
willing to give me his daughter in marriage unless he is first
thoroughly satisfied on this point, however much my famous deeds may
deserve it; so that by this deficiency I fear I shall lose what my arm
has fairly earned. True it is I am a gentleman of known house, of
estate and property, and entitled to the five hundred sueldos mulct;
and it may be that the sage who shall write my history will so clear
up my ancestry and pedigree that I may find myself fifth or sixth in
descent from a king; for I would have thee know, Sancho, that there
are two kinds of lineages in the world; some there be tracing and
deriving their descent from kings and princes, whom time has reduced
little by little until they end in a point like a pyramid upside down;
and others who spring from the common herd and go on rising step by
step until they come to be great lords; so that the difference is that
the one were what they no longer are, and the others are what they
formerly were not. And I may be of such that after investigation my
origin may prove great and famous, with which the king, my
father-in-law that is to be, ought to be satisfied; and should he
not be, the princess will so love me that even though she well knew me
to be the son of a water-carrier, she will take me for her lord and
husband in spite of her father; if not, then it comes to seizing her
and carrying her off where I please; for time or death will put an end
to the wrath of her parents."
  "It comes to this, too," said Sancho, "what some naughty people say,
'Never ask as a favour what thou canst take by force;' though it would
fit better to say, 'A clear escape is better than good men's prayers.'
I say so because if my lord the king, your worship's father-in-law,
will not condescend to give you my lady the princess, there is nothing
for it but, as your worship says, to seize her and transport her.
But the mischief is that until peace is made and you come into the
peaceful enjoyment of your kingdom, the poor squire is famishing as
far as rewards go, unless it be that the confidante damsel that is
to be his wife comes with the princess, and that with her he tides
over his bad luck until Heaven otherwise orders things; for his
master, I suppose, may as well give her to him at once for a lawful
wife."
  "Nobody can object to that," said Don Quixote.
  "Then since that may be," said Sancho, "there is nothing for it
but to commend ourselves to God, and let fortune take what course it
will."
  "God guide it according to my wishes and thy wants," said Don
Quixote, "and mean be he who thinks himself mean."
  "In God's name let him be so," said Sancho: "I am an old
Christian, and to fit me for a count that's enough."
  "And more than enough for thee," said Don Quixote; "and even wert
thou not, it would make no difference, because I being the king can
easily give thee nobility without purchase or service rendered by
thee, for when I make thee a count, then thou art at once a gentleman;
and they may say what they will, but by my faith they will have to
call thee 'your lordship,' whether they like it or not."
  "Not a doubt of it; and I'll know how to support the tittle," said
Sancho.
  "Title thou shouldst say, not tittle," said his master.
  "So be it," answered Sancho. "I say I will know how to behave, for
once in my life I was beadle of a brotherhood, and the beadle's gown
sat so well on me that all said I looked as if I was to be steward
of the same brotherhood. What will it be, then, when I put a duke's
robe on my back, or dress myself in gold and pearls like a count? I
believe they'll come a hundred leagues to see me."
  "Thou wilt look well," said Don Quixote, "but thou must shave thy
beard often, for thou hast it so thick and rough and unkempt, that
if thou dost not shave it every second day at least, they will see
what thou art at the distance of a musket shot."
  "What more will it be," said Sancho, "than having a barber, and
keeping him at wages in the house? and even if it be necessary, I will
make him go behind me like a nobleman's equerry."
  "Why, how dost thou know that noblemen have equerries behind
them?" asked Don Quixote.
  "I will tell you," answered Sancho. "Years ago I was for a month
at the capital and there I saw taking the air a very small gentleman
who they said was a very great man, and a man following him on
horseback in every turn he took, just as if he was his tail. I asked
why this man did not join the other man, instead of always going
behind him; they answered me that he was his equerry, and that it
was the custom with nobles to have such persons behind them, and
ever since then I know it, for I have never forgotten it."
  "Thou art right," said Don Quixote, "and in the same way thou mayest
carry thy barber with thee, for customs did not come into use all
together, nor were they all invented at once, and thou mayest be the
first count to have a barber to follow him; and, indeed, shaving one's
beard is a greater trust than saddling one's horse."
  "Let the barber business be my look-out," said Sancho; "and your
worship's be it to strive to become a king, and make me a count."
  "So it shall be," answered Don Quixote, and raising his eyes he
saw what will be told in the following chapter.
  CHAPTER XXII
  OF THE FREEDOM DON QUIXOTE CONFERRED ON SEVERAL UNFORTUNATES WHO
AGAINST THEIR WILL WERE BEING CARRIED WHERE THEY HAD NO WISH TO GO

  CIDE Hamete Benengeli, the Arab and Manchegan author, relates in
this most grave, high-sounding, minute, delightful, and original
history that after the discussion between the famous Don Quixote of La
Mancha and his squire Sancho Panza which is set down at the end of
chapter twenty-one, Don Quixote raised his eyes and saw coming along
the road he was following some dozen men on foot strung together by
the neck, like beads, on a great iron chain, and all with manacles
on their hands. With them there came also two men on horseback and two
on foot; those on horseback with wheel-lock muskets, those on foot
with javelins and swords, and as soon as Sancho saw them he said:
  "That is a chain of galley slaves, on the way to the galleys by
force of the king's orders."
  "How by force?" asked Don Quixote; "is it possible that the king
uses force against anyone?"
  "I do not say that," answered Sancho, "but that these are people
condemned for their crimes to serve by force in the king's galleys."
  "In fact," replied Don Quixote, "however it may be, these people are
going where they are taking them by force, and not of their own will."
  "Just so," said Sancho.
  "Then if so," said Don Quixote, "here is a case for the exercise
of my office, to put down force and to succour and help the wretched."
  "Recollect, your worship," said Sancho, "Justice, which is the
king himself, is not using force or doing wrong to such persons, but
punishing them for their crimes."
  The chain of galley slaves had by this time come up, and Don Quixote
in very courteous language asked those who were in custody of it to be
good enough to tell him the reason or reasons for which they were
conducting these people in this manner. One of the guards on horseback
answered that they were galley slaves belonging to his majesty, that
they were going to the galleys, and that was all that was to be said
and all he had any business to know.
  "Nevertheless," replied Don Quixote, "I should like to know from
each of them separately the reason of his misfortune;" to this he
added more to the same effect to induce them to tell him what he
wanted so civilly that the other mounted guard said to him:
  "Though we have here the register and certificate of the sentence of
every one of these wretches, this is no time to take them out or
read them; come and ask themselves; they can tell if they choose,
and they will, for these fellows take a pleasure in doing and
talking about rascalities."
  With this permission, which Don Quixote would have taken even had
they not granted it, he approached the chain and asked the first for
what offences he was now in such a sorry case.
  He made answer that it was for being a lover.
  "For that only?" replied Don Quixote; "why, if for being lovers they
send people to the galleys I might have been rowing in them long ago."
  "The love is not the sort your worship is thinking of," said the
galley slave; "mine was that I loved a washerwoman's basket of clean
linen so well, and held it so close in my embrace, that if the arm
of the law had not forced it from me, I should never have let it go of
my own will to this moment; I was caught in the act, there was no
occasion for torture, the case was settled, they treated me to a
hundred lashes on the back, and three years of gurapas besides, and
that was the end of it."
  "What are gurapas?" asked Don Quixote.
  "Gurapas are galleys," answered the galley slave, who was a young
man of about four-and-twenty, and said he was a native of Piedrahita.
  Don Quixote asked the same question of the second, who made no
reply, so downcast and melancholy was he; but the first answered for
him, and said, "He, sir, goes as a canary, I mean as a musician and
a singer."
  "What!" said Don Quixote, "for being musicians and singers are
people sent to the galleys too?"
  "Yes, sir," answered the galley slave, "for there is nothing worse
than singing under suffering."
  "On the contrary, I have heard say," said Don Quixote, "that he
who sings scares away his woes."
  "Here it is the reverse," said the galley slave; "for he who sings
once weeps all his life."
  "I do not understand it," said Don Quixote; but one of the guards
said to him, "Sir, to sing under suffering means with the non sancta
fraternity to confess under torture; they put this sinner to the
torture and he confessed his crime, which was being a cuatrero, that
is a cattle-stealer, and on his confession they sentenced him to six
years in the galleys, besides two bundred lashes that he has already
had on the back; and he is always dejected and downcast because the
other thieves that were left behind and that march here ill-treat, and
snub, and jeer, and despise him for confessing and not having spirit
enough to say nay; for, say they, 'nay' has no more letters in it than
'yea,' and a culprit is well off when life or death with him depends
on his own tongue and not on that of witnesses or evidence; and to
my thinking they are not very far out."
  "And I think so too," answered Don Quixote; then passing on to the
third he asked him what he had asked the others, and the man
answered very readily and unconcernedly, "I am going for five years to
their ladyships the gurapas for the want of ten ducats."
  "I will give twenty with pleasure to get you out of that trouble,"
said Don Quixote.
  "That," said the galley slave, "is like a man having money at sea
when he is dying of hunger and has no way of buying what he wants; I
say so because if at the right time I had had those twenty ducats that
your worship now offers me, I would have greased the notary's pen
and freshened up the attorney's wit with them, so that to-day I should
be in the middle of the plaza of the Zocodover at Toledo, and not on
this road coupled like a greyhound. But God is great; patience- there,
that's enough of it."
  Don Quixote passed on to the fourth, a man of venerable aspect
with a white beard falling below his breast, who on hearing himself
asked the reason of his being there began to weep without answering
a word, but the fifth acted as his tongue and said, "This worthy man
is going to the galleys for four years, after having gone the rounds
in ceremony and on horseback."
   "That means," said Sancho Panza, "as I take it, to have been
exposed to shame in public."
  "Just so," replied the galley slave, "and the offence for which they
gave him that punishment was having been an ear-broker, nay
body-broker; I mean, in short, that this gentleman goes as a pimp, and
for having besides a certain touch of the sorcerer about him."
  "If that touch had not been thrown in," said Don Quixote, "be
would not deserve, for mere pimping, to row in the galleys, but rather
to command and be admiral of them; for the office of pimp is no
ordinary one, being the office of persons of discretion, one very
necessary in a well-ordered state, and only to be exercised by persons
of good birth; nay, there ought to be an inspector and overseer of
them, as in other offices, and recognised number, as with the
brokers on change; in this way many of the evils would be avoided
which are caused by this office and calling being in the hands of
stupid and ignorant people, such as women more or less silly, and
pages and jesters of little standing and experience, who on the most
urgent occasions, and when ingenuity of contrivance is needed, let the
crumbs freeze on the way to their mouths, and know not which is
their right hand. I should like to go farther, and give reasons to
show that it is advisable to choose those who are to hold so necessary
an office in the state, but this is not the fit place for it; some day
I will expound the matter to some one able to see to and rectify it;
all I say now is, that the additional fact of his being a sorcerer has
removed the sorrow it gave me to see these white hairs and this
venerable countenance in so painful a position on account of his being
a pimp; though I know well there are no sorceries in the world that
can move or compel the will as some simple folk fancy, for our will is
free, nor is there herb or charm that can force it. All that certain
silly women and quacks do is to turn men mad with potions and poisons,
pretending that they have power to cause love, for, as I say, it is an
impossibility to compel the will."
  "It is true," said the good old man, "and indeed, sir, as far as the
charge of sorcery goes I was not guilty; as to that of being a pimp
I cannot deny it; but I never thought I was doing any harm by it,
for my only object was that all the world should enjoy itself and live
in peace and quiet, without quarrels or troubles; but my good
intentions were unavailing to save me from going where I never
expect to come back from, with this weight of years upon me and a
urinary ailment that never gives me a moment's ease;" and again he
fell to weeping as before, and such compassion did Sancho feel for him
that he took out a real of four from his bosom and gave it to him in
alms.
  Don Quixote went on and asked another what his crime was, and the
man answered with no less but rather much more sprightliness than
the last one.
  "I am here because I carried the joke too far with a couple of
cousins of mine, and with a couple of other cousins who were none of
mine; in short, I carried the joke so far with them all that it
ended in such a complicated increase of kindred that no accountant
could make it clear: it was all proved against me, I got no favour,
I had no money, I was near having my neck stretched, they sentenced me
to the galleys for six years, I accepted my fate, it is the punishment
of my fault; I am a young man; let life only last, and with that all
will come right. If you, sir, have anything wherewith to help the
poor, God will repay it to you in heaven, and we on earth will take
care in our petitions to him to pray for the life and health of your
worship, that they may be as long and as good as your amiable
appearance deserves."
  This one was in the dress of a student, and one of the guards said
he was a great talker and a very elegant Latin scholar.
  Behind all these there came a man of thirty, a very personable
fellow, except that when he looked, his eyes turned in a little one
towards the other. He was bound differently from the rest, for he
had to his leg a chain so long that it was wound all round his body,
and two rings on his neck, one attached to the chain, the other to
what they call a "keep-friend" or "friend's foot," from which hung two
irons reaching to his waist with two manacles fixed to them in which
his hands were secured by a big padlock, so that he could neither
raise his hands to his mouth nor lower his head to his hands. Don
Quixote asked why this man carried so many more chains than the
others. The guard replied that it was because he alone had committed
more crimes than all the rest put together, and was so daring and such
a villain, that though they marched him in that fashion they did not
feel sure of him, but were in dread of his making his escape.
  "What crimes can he have committed," said Don Quixote, "if they have
not deserved a heavier punishment than being sent to the galleys?"
  "He goes for ten years," replied the guard, "which is the same thing
as civil death, and all that need be said is that this good fellow
is the famous Gines de Pasamonte, otherwise called Ginesillo de
Parapilla."
  "Gently, senor commissary," said the galley slave at this, "let us
have no fixing of names or surnames; my name is Gines, not
Ginesillo, and my family name is Pasamonte, not Parapilla as you
say; let each one mind his own business, and he will be doing enough."
  "Speak with less impertinence, master thief of extra measure,"
replied the commissary, "if you don't want me to make you hold your
tongue in spite of your teeth."
  "It is easy to see," returned the galley slave, "that man goes as
God pleases, but some one shall know some day whether I am called
Ginesillo de Parapilla or not."
  "Don't they call you so, you liar?" said the guard.
  "They do," returned Gines, "but I will make them give over calling
me so, or I will be shaved, where, I only say behind my teeth. If you,
sir, have anything to give us, give it to us at once, and God speed
you, for you are becoming tiresome with all this inquisitiveness about
the lives of others; if you want to know about mine, let me tell you I
am Gines de Pasamonte, whose life is written by these fingers."
  "He says true," said the commissary, "for he has himself written his
story as grand as you please, and has left the book in the prison in
pawn for two hundred reals."
  "And I mean to take it out of pawn," said Gines, "though it were
in for two hundred ducats."
  "Is it so good?" said Don Quixote.
  "So good is it," replied Gines, "that a fig for 'Lazarillo de
Tormes,' and all of that kind that have been written, or shall be
written compared with it: all I will say about it is that it deals
with facts, and facts so neat and diverting that no lies could match
them."
  "And how is the book entitled?" asked Don Quixote.
  "The 'Life of Gines de Pasamonte,'" replied the subject of it.
  "And is it finished?" asked Don Quixote.
  "How can it be finished," said the other, "when my life is not yet
finished? All that is written is from my birth down to the point
when they sent me to the galleys this last time."
  "Then you have been there before?" said Don Quixote.
  "In the service of God and the king I have been there for four years
before now, and I know by this time what the biscuit and courbash
are like," replied Gines; "and it is no great grievance to me to go
back to them, for there I shall have time to finish my book; I have
still many things left to say, and in the galleys of Spain there is
more than enough leisure; though I do not want much for what I have to
write, for I have it by heart."
  "You seem a clever fellow," said Don Quixote.
  "And an unfortunate one," replied Gines, "for misfortune always
persecutes good wit."
  "It persecutes rogues," said the commissary.
  "I told you already to go gently, master commissary," said
Pasamonte; "their lordships yonder never gave you that staff to
ill-treat us wretches here, but to conduct and take us where his
majesty orders you; if not, by the life of-never mind-; it may be that
some day the stains made in the inn will come out in the scouring; let
everyone hold his tongue and behave well and speak better; and now let
us march on, for we have had quite enough of this entertainment."
  The commissary lifted his staff to strike Pasamonte in return for
his threats, but Don Quixote came between them, and begged him not
to ill-use him, as it was not too much to allow one who had his
hands tied to have his tongue a trifle free; and turning to the
whole chain of them he said:
  "From all you have told me, dear brethren, make out clearly that
though they have punished you for your faults, the punishments you are
about to endure do not give you much pleasure, and that you go to them
very much against the grain and against your will, and that perhaps
this one's want of courage under torture, that one's want of money,
the other's want of advocacy, and lastly the perverted judgment of the
judge may have been the cause of your ruin and of your failure to
obtain the justice you had on your side. All which presents itself now
to my mind, urging, persuading, and even compelling me to
demonstrate in your case the purpose for which Heaven sent me into the
world and caused me to make profession of the order of chivalry to
which I belong, and the vow I took therein to give aid to those in
need and under the oppression of the strong. But as I know that it
is a mark of prudence not to do by foul means what may be done by
fair, I will ask these gentlemen, the guards and commissary, to be
so good as to release you and let you go in peace, as there will be no
lack of others to serve the king under more favourable
circumstances; for it seems to me a hard case to make slaves of
those whom God and nature have made free. Moreover, sirs of the
guard," added Don Quixote, "these poor fellows have done nothing to
you; let each answer for his own sins yonder; there is a God in Heaven
who will not forget to punish the wicked or reward the good; and it is
not fitting that honest men should be the instruments of punishment to
others, they being therein no way concerned. This request I make
thus gently and quietly, that, if you comply with it, I may have
reason for thanking you; and, if you will not voluntarily, this
lance and sword together with the might of my arm shall compel you
to comply with it by force."
  "Nice nonsense!" said the commissary; "a fine piece of pleasantry he
has come out with at last! He wants us to let the king's prisoners go,
as if we had any authority to release them, or he to order us to do
so! Go your way, sir, and good luck to you; put that basin straight
that you've got on your head, and don't go looking for three feet on a
cat."
  'Tis you that are the cat, rat, and rascal," replied Don Quixote,
and acting on the word he fell upon him so suddenly that without
giving him time to defend himself he brought him to the ground
sorely wounded with a lance-thrust; and lucky it was for him that it
was the one that had the musket. The other guards stood
thunderstruck and amazed at this unexpected event, but recovering
presence of mind, those on horseback seized their swords, and those on
foot their javelins, and attacked Don Quixote, who was waiting for
them with great calmness; and no doubt it would have gone badly with
him if the galley slaves, seeing the chance before them of
liberating themselves, had not effected it by contriving to break
the chain on which they were strung. Such was the confusion, that
the guards, now rushing at the galley slaves who were breaking
loose, now to attack Don Quixote who was waiting for them, did nothing
at all that was of any use. Sancho, on his part, gave a helping hand
to release Gines de Pasamonte, who was the first to leap forth upon
the plain free and unfettered, and who, attacking the prostrate
commissary, took from him his sword and the musket, with which, aiming
at one and levelling at another, he, without ever discharging it,
drove every one of the guards off the field, for they took to
flight, as well to escape Pasamonte's musket, as the showers of stones
the now released galley slaves were raining upon them. Sancho was
greatly grieved at the affair, because he anticipated that those who
had fled would report the matter to the Holy Brotherhood, who at the
summons of the alarm-bell would at once sally forth in quest of the
offenders; and he said so to his master, and entreated him to leave
the place at once, and go into hiding in the sierra that was close by.
  "That is all very well," said Don Quixote, "but I know what must
be done now;" and calling together all the galley slaves, who were now
running riot, and had stripped the commissary to the skin, he
collected them round him to hear what he had to say, and addressed
them as follows: "To be grateful for benefits received is the part
of persons of good birth, and one of the sins most offensive to God is
ingratitude; I say so because, sirs, ye have already seen by
manifest proof the benefit ye have received of me; in return for which
I desire, and it is my good pleasure that, laden with that chain which
I have taken off your necks, ye at once set out and proceed to the
city of El Toboso, and there present yourselves before the lady
Dulcinea del Toboso, and say to her that her knight, he of the
Rueful Countenance, sends to commend himself to her; and that ye
recount to her in full detail all the particulars of this notable
adventure, up to the recovery of your longed-for liberty; and this
done ye may go where ye will, and good fortune attend you."
  Gines de Pasamonte made answer for all, saying, "That which you,
sir, our deliverer, demand of us, is of all impossibilities the most
impossible to comply with, because we cannot go together along the
roads, but only singly and separate, and each one his own way,
endeavouring to hide ourselves in the bowels of the earth to escape
the Holy Brotherhood, which, no doubt, will come out in search of
us. What your worship may do, and fairly do, is to change this service
and tribute as regards the lady Dulcinea del Toboso for a certain
quantity of ave-marias and credos which we will say for your worship's
intention, and this is a condition that can be complied with by
night as by day, running or resting, in peace or in war; but to
imagine that we are going now to return to the flesh-pots of Egypt,
I mean to take up our chain and set out for El Toboso, is to imagine
that it is now night, though it is not yet ten in the morning, and
to ask this of us is like asking pears of the elm tree."
  "Then by all that's good," said Don Quixote (now stirred to
wrath), "Don son of a bitch, Don Ginesillo de Paropillo, or whatever
your name is, you will have to go yourself alone, with your tail
between your legs and the whole chain on your back."
  Pasamonte, who was anything but meek (being by this time
thoroughly convinced that Don Quixote was not quite right in his
head as he had committed such a vagary as to set them free), finding
himself abused in this fashion, gave the wink to his companions, and
falling back they began to shower stones on Don Quixote at such a rate
that he was quite unable to protect himself with his buckler, and poor
Rocinante no more heeded the spur than if he had been made of brass.
Sancho planted himself behind his ass, and with him sheltered
himself from the hailstorm that poured on both of them. Don Quixote
was unable to shield himself so well but that more pebbles than I
could count struck him full on the body with such force that they
brought him to the ground; and the instant he fell the student pounced
upon him, snatched the basin from his head, and with it struck three
or four blows on his shoulders, and as many more on the ground,
knocking it almost to pieces. They then stripped him of a jacket
that he wore over his armour, and they would have stripped off his
stockings if his greaves had not prevented them. From Sancho they took
his coat, leaving him in his shirt-sleeves; and dividing among
themselves the remaining spoils of the battle, they went each one
his own way, more solicitous about keeping clear of the Holy
Brotherhood they dreaded, than about burdening themselves with the
chain, or going to present themselves before the lady Dulcinea del
Toboso. The ass and Rocinante, Sancho and Don Quixote, were all that
were left upon the spot; the ass with drooping head, serious,
shaking his ears from time to time as if he thought the storm of
stones that assailed them was not yet over; Rocinante stretched beside
his master, for he too had been brought to the ground by a stone;
Sancho stripped, and trembling with fear of the Holy Brotherhood;
and Don Quixote fuming to find himself so served by the very persons
for whom he had done so much.
  CHAPTER XXIII
  OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE IN THE SIERRA MORENA, WHICH WAS ONE OF
THE RAREST ADVENTURES RELATED IN THIS VERACIOUS HISTORY

  SEEING himself served in this way, Don Quixote said to his squire,
"I have always heard it said, Sancho, that to do good to boors is to
throw water into the sea. If I had believed thy words, I should have
avoided this trouble; but it is done now, it is only to have
patience and take warning for the future."
  "Your worship will take warning as much as I am a Turk," returned
Sancho; "but, as you say this mischief might have been avoided if
you had believed me, believe me now, and a still greater one will be
avoided; for I tell you chivalry is of no account with the Holy
Brotherhood, and they don't care two maravedis for all the
knights-errant in the world; and I can tell you I fancy I hear their
arrows whistling past my ears this minute."
  "Thou art a coward by nature, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "but lest
thou shouldst say I am obstinate, and that I never do as thou dost
advise, this once I will take thy advice, and withdraw out of reach of
that fury thou so dreadest; but it must be on one condition, that
never, in life or in death, thou art to say to anyone that I retired
or withdrew from this danger out of fear, but only in compliance
with thy entreaties; for if thou sayest otherwise thou wilt lie
therein, and from this time to that, and from that to this, I give
thee lie, and say thou liest and wilt lie every time thou thinkest
or sayest it; and answer me not again; for at the mere thought that
I am withdrawing or retiring from any danger, above all from this,
which does seem to carry some little shadow of fear with it, I am
ready to take my stand here and await alone, not only that Holy
Brotherhood you talk of and dread, but the brothers of the twelve
tribes of Israel, and the Seven Maccabees, and Castor and Pollux,
and all the brothers and brotherhoods in the world."
  "Senor," replied Sancho, "to retire is not to flee, and there is
no wisdom in waiting when danger outweighs hope, and it is the part of
wise men to preserve themselves to-day for to-morrow, and not risk all
in one day; and let me tell you, though I am a clown and a boor, I
have got some notion of what they call safe conduct; so repent not
of having taken my advice, but mount Rocinante if you can, and if
not I will help you; and follow me, for my mother-wit tells me we have
more need of legs than hands just now."
  Don Quixote mounted without replying, and, Sancho leading the way on
his ass, they entered the side of the Sierra Morena, which was close
by, as it was Sancho's design to cross it entirely and come out
again at El Viso or Almodovar del Campo, and hide for some days
among its crags so as to escape the search of the Brotherhood should
they come to look for them. He was encouraged in this by perceiving
that the stock of provisions carried by the ass had come safe out of
the fray with the galley slaves, a circumstance that he regarded as
a miracle, seeing how they pillaged and ransacked.
  That night they reached the very heart of the Sierra Morena, where
it seemed prudent to Sancho to pass the night and even some days, at
least as many as the stores he carried might last, and so they
encamped between two rocks and among some cork trees; but fatal
destiny, which, according to the opinion of those who have not the
light of the true faith, directs, arranges, and settles everything
in its own way, so ordered it that Gines de Pasamonte, the famous
knave and thief who by the virtue and madness of Don Quixote had
been released from the chain, driven by fear of the Holy
Brotherhood, which he had good reason to dread, resolved to take
hiding in the mountains; and his fate and fear led him to the same
spot to which Don Quixote and Sancho Panza had been led by theirs,
just in time to recognise them and leave them to fall asleep: and as
the wicked are always ungrateful, and necessity leads to evildoing,
and immediate advantage overcomes all considerations of the future,
Gines, who was neither grateful nor well-principled, made up his
mind to steal Sancho Panza's ass, not troubling himself about
Rocinante, as being a prize that was no good either to pledge or sell.
While Sancho slept he stole his ass, and before day dawned he was
far out of reach.
  Aurora made her appearance bringing gladness to the earth but
sadness to Sancho Panza, for he found that his Dapple was missing, and
seeing himself bereft of him he began the saddest and most doleful
lament in the world, so loud that Don Quixote awoke at his
exclamations and heard him saying, "O son of my bowels, born in my
very house, my children's plaything, my wife's joy, the envy of my
neighbours, relief of my burdens, and lastly, half supporter of
myself, for with the six-and-twenty maravedis thou didst earn me daily
I met half my charges."
  Don Quixote, when he heard the lament and learned the cause,
consoled Sancho with the best arguments he could, entreating him to be
patient, and promising to give him a letter of exchange ordering three
out of five ass-colts that he had at home to be given to him. Sancho
took comfort at this, dried his tears, suppressed his sobs, and
returned thanks for the kindness shown him by Don Quixote. He on his
part was rejoiced to the heart on entering the mountains, as they
seemed to him to be just the place for the adventures he was in
quest of. They brought back to his memory the marvellous adventures
that had befallen knights-errant in like solitudes and wilds, and he
went along reflecting on these things, so absorbed and carried away by
them that he had no thought for anything else. Nor had Sancho any
other care (now that he fancied he was travelling in a safe quarter)
than to satisfy his appetite with such remains as were left of the
clerical spoils, and so he marched behind his master laden with what
Dapple used to carry, emptying the sack and packing his paunch, and so
long as he could go that way, he would not have given a farthing to
meet with another adventure.
  While so engaged he raised his eyes and saw that his master had
halted, and was trying with the point of his pike to lift some bulky
object that lay upon the ground, on which he hastened to join him
and help him if it were needful, and reached him just as with the
point of the pike he was raising a saddle-pad with a valise attached
to it, half or rather wholly rotten and torn; but so heavy were they
that Sancho had to help to take them up, and his master directed him
to see what the valise contained. Sancho did so with great alacrity,
and though the valise was secured by a chain and padlock, from its
torn and rotten condition he was able to see its contents, which
were four shirts of fine holland, and other articles of linen no
less curious than clean; and in a handkerchief he found a good lot
of gold crowns, and as soon as he saw them he exclaimed:
  "Blessed be all Heaven for sending us an adventure that is good
for something!"
  Searching further he found a little memorandum book richly bound;
this Don Quixote asked of him, telling him to take the money and
keep it for himself. Sancho kissed his hands for the favour, and
cleared the valise of its linen, which he stowed away in the provision
sack. Considering the whole matter, Don Quixote observed:
  "It seems to me, Sancho- and it is impossible it can be otherwise-
that some strayed traveller must have crossed this sierra and been
attacked and slain by footpads, who brought him to this remote spot to
bury him."
  "That cannot be," answered Sancho, "because if they had been robbers
they would not have left this money."
  "Thou art right," said Don Quixote, "and I cannot guess or explain
what this may mean; but stay; let us see if in this memorandum book
there is anything written by which we may be able to trace out or
discover what we want to know."
  He opened it, and the first thing he found in it, written roughly
but in a very good hand, was a sonnet, and reading it aloud that
Sancho might hear it, he found that it ran as follows:

                     SONNET

     Or Love is lacking in intelligence,
       Or to the height of cruelty attains,
       Or else it is my doom to suffer pains
     Beyond the measure due to my offence.
     But if Love be a God, it follows thence
       That he knows all, and certain it remains
       No God loves cruelty; then who ordains
     This penance that enthrals while it torments?
     It were a falsehood, Chloe, thee to name;
       Such evil with such goodness cannot live;
     And against Heaven I dare not charge the blame,
       I only know it is my fate to die.
       To him who knows not whence his malady
       A miracle alone a cure can give.

  "There is nothing to be learned from that rhyme," said Sancho,
"unless by that clue there's in it, one may draw out the ball of the
whole matter."
  "What clue is there?" said Don Quixote.
  "I thought your worship spoke of a clue in it," said Sancho.
  "I only said Chloe," replied Don Quixote; "and that no doubt, is the
name of the lady of whom the author of the sonnet complains; and,
faith, he must be a tolerable poet, or I know little of the craft."
  "Then your worship understands rhyming too?"
  "And better than thou thinkest," replied Don Quixote, "as thou shalt
see when thou carriest a letter written in verse from beginning to end
to my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, for I would have thee know, Sancho,
that all or most of the knights-errant in days of yore were great
troubadours and great musicians, for both of these accomplishments, or
more properly speaking gifts, are the peculiar property of
lovers-errant: true it is that the verses of the knights of old have
more spirit than neatness in them."
  "Read more, your worship," said Sancho, "and you will find something
that will enlighten us."
  Don Quixote turned the page and said, "This is prose and seems to be
a letter."
  "A correspondence letter, senor?"
  "From the beginning it seems to be a love letter," replied Don
Quixote.
  "Then let your worship read it aloud," said Sancho, "for I am very
fond of love matters."
  "With all my heart," said Don Quixote, and reading it aloud as
Sancho had requested him, he found it ran thus:

  Thy false promise and my sure misforutne carry me to a place
whence the news of my death will reach thy ears before the words of my
complaint. Ungrateful one, thou hast rejected me for one more wealthy,
but not more worthy; but if virtue were esteemed wealth I should
neither envy the fortunes of others nor weep for misfortunes of my
own. What thy beauty raised up thy deeds have laid low; by it I
believed thee to be an angel, by them I know thou art a woman. Peace
be with thee who hast sent war to me, and Heaven grant that the deceit
of thy husband be ever hidden from thee, so that thou repent not of
what thou hast done, and I reap not a revenge I would not have.

  When he had finished the letter, Don Quixote said, "There is less to
be gathered from this than from the verses, except that he who wrote
it is some rejected lover;" and turning over nearly all the pages of
the book he found more verses and letters, some of which he could
read, while others he could not; but they were all made up of
complaints, laments, misgivings, desires and aversions, favours and
rejections, some rapturous, some doleful. While Don Quixote examined
the book, Sancho examined the valise, not leaving a corner in the
whole of it or in the pad that he did not search, peer into, and
explore, or seam that he did not rip, or tuft of wool that he did
not pick to pieces, lest anything should escape for want of care and
pains; so keen was the covetousness excited in him by the discovery of
the crowns, which amounted to near a hundred; and though he found no
more booty, he held the blanket flights, balsam vomits, stake
benedictions, carriers' fisticuffs, missing alforjas, stolen coat, and
all the hunger, thirst, and weariness he had endured in the service of
his good master, cheap at the price; as he considered himself more
than fully indemnified for all by the payment he received in the
gift of the treasure-trove.
  The Knight of the Rueful Countenance was still very anxious to
find out who the owner of the valise could be, conjecturing from the
sonnet and letter, from the money in gold, and from the fineness of
the shirts, that he must be some lover of distinction whom the scorn
and cruelty of his lady had driven to some desperate course; but as in
that uninhabited and rugged spot there was no one to be seen of whom
he could inquire, he saw nothing else for it but to push on, taking
whatever road Rocinante chose- which was where he could make his
way- firmly persuaded that among these wilds he could not fail to meet
some rare adventure. As he went along, then, occupied with these
thoughts, he perceived on the summit of a height that rose before
their eyes a man who went springing from rock to rock and from tussock
to tussock with marvellous agility. As well as he could make out he
was unclad, with a thick black beard, long tangled hair, and bare legs
and feet, his thighs were covered by breeches apparently of tawny
velvet but so ragged that they showed his skin in several places. He
was bareheaded, and notwithstanding the swiftness with which he passed
as has been described, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance observed
and noted all these trifles, and though he made the attempt, he was
unable to follow him, for it was not granted to the feebleness of
Rocinante to make way over such rough ground, he being, moreover,
slow-paced and sluggish by nature. Don Quixote at once came to the
conclusion that this was the owner of the saddle-pad and of the
valise, and made up his mind to go in search of him, even though he
should have to wander a year in those mountains before he found him,
and so he directed Sancho to take a short cut over one side of the
mountain, while he himself went by the other, and perhaps by this
means they might light upon this man who had passed so quickly out
of their sight.
  "I could not do that," said Sancho, "for when I separate from your
worship fear at once lays hold of me, and assails me with all sorts of
panics and fancies; and let what I now say be a notice that from
this time forth I am not going to stir a finger's width from your
presence."
  "It shall be so," said he of the Rueful Countenance, "and I am
very glad that thou art willing to rely on my courage, which will
never fail thee, even though the soul in thy body fail thee; so come
on now behind me slowly as well as thou canst, and make lanterns of
thine eyes; let us make the circuit of this ridge; perhaps we shall
light upon this man that we saw, who no doubt is no other than the
owner of what we found."
  To which Sancho made answer, "Far better would it be not to look for
him, for, if we find him, and he happens to be the owner of the money,
it is plain I must restore it; it would be better, therefore, that
without taking this needless trouble, I should keep possession of it
until in some other less meddlesome and officious way the real owner
may be discovered; and perhaps that will be when I shall have spent
it, and then the king will hold me harmless."
  "Thou art wrong there, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for now that we
have a suspicion who the owner is, and have him almost before us, we
are bound to seek him and make restitution; and if we do not see
him, the strong suspicion we have as to his being the owner makes us
as guilty as if he were so; and so, friend Sancho, let not our
search for him give thee any uneasiness, for if we find him it will
relieve mine."
  And so saying he gave Rocinante the spur, and Sancho followed him on
foot and loaded, and after having partly made the circuit of the
mountain they found lying in a ravine, dead and half devoured by
dogs and pecked by jackdaws, a mule saddled and bridled, all which
still further strengthened their suspicion that he who had fled was
the owner of the mule and the saddle-pad.
  As they stood looking at it they heard a whistle like that of a
shepherd watching his flock, and suddenly on their left there appeared
a great number of goats and behind them on the summit of the
mountain the goatherd in charge of them, a man advanced in years.
Don Quixote called aloud to him and begged him to come down to where
they stood. He shouted in return, asking what had brought them to that
spot, seldom or never trodden except by the feet of goats, or of the
wolves and other wild beasts that roamed around. Sancho in return bade
him come down, and they would explain all to him.
  The goatherd descended, and reaching the place where Don Quixote
stood, he said, "I will wager you are looking at that hack mule that
lies dead in the hollow there, and, faith, it has been lying there now
these six months; tell me, have you come upon its master about here?"
  "We have come upon nobody," answered Don Quixote, "nor on anything
except a saddle-pad and a little valise that we found not far from
this."
  "I found it too," said the goatherd, "but I would not lift it nor go
near it for fear of some ill-luck or being charged with theft, for the
devil is crafty, and things rise up under one's feet to make one
fall without knowing why or wherefore."
  "That's exactly what I say," said Sancho; "I found it too, and I
would not go within a stone's throw of it; there I left it, and
there it lies just as it was, for I don't want a dog with a bell."
  "Tell me, good man," said Don Quixote, "do you know who is the owner
of this property?"
  "All I can tell you," said the goatherd, "is that about six months
ago, more or less, there arrived at a shepherd's hut three leagues,
perhaps, away from this, a youth of well-bred appearance and
manners, mounted on that same mule which lies dead here, and with
the same saddle-pad and valise which you say you found and did not
touch. He asked us what part of this sierra was the most rugged and
retired; we told him that it was where we now are; and so in truth
it is, for if you push on half a league farther, perhaps you will
not be able to find your way out; and I am wondering how you have
managed to come here, for there is no road or path that leads to
this spot. I say, then, that on hearing our answer the youth turned
about and made for the place we pointed out to him, leaving us all
charmed with his good looks, and wondering at his question and the
haste with which we saw him depart in the direction of the sierra; and
after that we saw him no more, until some days afterwards he crossed
the path of one of our shepherds, and without saying a word to him,
came up to him and gave him several cuffs and kicks, and then turned
to the ass with our provisions and took all the bread and cheese it
carried, and having done this made off back again into the sierra with
extraordinary swiftness. When some of us goatherds learned this we
went in search of him for about two days through the most remote
portion of this sierra, at the end of which we found him lodged in the
hollow of a large thick cork tree. He came out to meet us with great
gentleness, with his dress now torn and his face so disfigured and
burned by the sun, that we hardly recognised him but that his clothes,
though torn, convinced us, from the recollection we had of them,
that he was the person we were looking for. He saluted us courteously,
and in a few well-spoken words he told us not to wonder at seeing
him going about in this guise, as it was binding upon him in order
that he might work out a penance which for his many sins had been
imposed upon him. We asked him to tell us who he was, but we were
never able to find out from him: we begged of him too, when he was
in want of food, which he could not do without, to tell us where we
should find him, as we would bring it to him with all good-will and
readiness; or if this were not to his taste, at least to come and
ask it of us and not take it by force from the shepherds. He thanked
us for the offer, begged pardon for the late assault, and promised for
the future to ask it in God's name without offering violence to
anybody. As for fixed abode, he said he had no other than that which
chance offered wherever night might overtake him; and his words
ended in an outburst of weeping so bitter that we who listened to
him must have been very stones had we not joined him in it,
comparing what we saw of him the first time with what we saw now; for,
as I said, he was a graceful and gracious youth, and in his
courteous and polished language showed himself to be of good birth and
courtly breeding, and rustics as we were that listened to him, even to
our rusticity his gentle bearing sufficed to make it plain.
  "But in the midst of his conversation he stopped and became
silent, keeping his eyes fixed upon the ground for some time, during
which we stood still waiting anxiously to see what would come of
this abstraction; and with no little pity, for from his behaviour, now
staring at the ground with fixed gaze and eyes wide open without
moving an eyelid, again closing them, compressing his lips and raising
his eyebrows, we could perceive plainly that a fit of madness of
some kind had come upon him; and before long he showed that what we
imagined was the truth, for he arose in a fury from the ground where
he had thrown himself, and attacked the first he found near him with
such rage and fierceness that if we had not dragged him off him, he
would have beaten or bitten him to death, all the while exclaiming,
'Oh faithless Fernando, here, here shalt thou pay the penalty of the
wrong thou hast done me; these hands shall tear out that heart of
thine, abode and dwelling of all iniquity, but of deceit and fraud
above all; and to these he added other words all in effect
upbraiding this Fernando and charging him with treachery and
faithlessness.
  "We forced him to release his hold with no little difficulty, and
without another word he left us, and rushing off plunged in among
these brakes and brambles, so as to make it impossible for us to
follow him; from this we suppose that madness comes upon him from time
to time, and that some one called Fernando must have done him a
wrong of a grievous nature such as the condition to which it had
brought him seemed to show. All this has been since then confirmed
on those occasions, and they have been many, on which he has crossed
our path, at one time to beg the shepherds to give him some of the
food they carry, at another to take it from them by force; for when
there is a fit of madness upon him, even though the shepherds offer it
freely, he will not accept it but snatches it from them by dint of
blows; but when he is in his senses he begs it for the love of God,
courteously and civilly, and receives it with many thanks and not a
few tears. And to tell you the truth, sirs," continued the goatherd,
"it was yesterday that we resolved, I and four of the lads, two of
them our servants, and the other two friends of mine, to go in
search of him until we find him, and when we do to take him, whether
by force or of his own consent, to the town of Almodovar, which is
eight leagues from this, and there strive to cure him (if indeed his
malady admits of a cure), or learn when he is in his senses who he is,
and if he has relatives to whom we may give notice of his
misfortune. This, sirs, is all I can say in answer to what you have
asked me; and be sure that the owner of the articles you found is he
whom you saw pass by with such nimbleness and so naked."
  For Don Quixote had already described how he had seen the man go
bounding along the mountain side, and he was now filled with amazement
at what he heard from the goatherd, and more eager than ever to
discover who the unhappy madman was; and in his heart he resolved,
as he had done before, to search for him all over the mountain, not
leaving a corner or cave unexamined until he had found him. But chance
arranged matters better than he expected or hoped, for at that very
moment, in a gorge on the mountain that opened where they stood, the
youth he wished to find made his appearance, coming along talking to
himself in a way that would have been unintelligible near at hand,
much more at a distance. His garb was what has been described, save
that as he drew near, Don Quixote perceived that a tattered doublet
which he wore was amber-tanned, from which he concluded that one who
wore such garments could not be of very low rank.
  Approaching them, the youth greeted them in a harsh and hoarse voice
but with great courtesy. Don Quixote returned his salutation with
equal politeness, and dismounting from Rocinante advanced with
well-bred bearing and grace to embrace him, and held him for some time
close in his arms as if he had known him for a long time. The other,
whom we may call the Ragged One of the Sorry Countenance, as Don
Quixote was of the Rueful, after submitting to the embrace pushed
him back a little and, placing his hands on Don Quixote's shoulders,
stood gazing at him as if seeking to see whether he knew him, not less
amazed, perhaps, at the sight of the face, figure, and armour of Don
Quixote than Don Quixote was at the sight of him. To be brief, the
first to speak after embracing was the Ragged One, and he said what
will be told farther on.
  CHAPTER XXIV
  IN WHICH IS CONTINUED THE ADVENTURE OF THE SIERRA MORENA

  THE history relates that it was with the greatest attention Don
Quixote listened to the ragged knight of the Sierra, who began by
saying:
  "Of a surety, senor, whoever you are, for I know you not, I thank
you for the proofs of kindness and courtesy you have shown me, and
would I were in a condition to requite with something more than
good-will that which you have displayed towards me in the cordial
reception you have given me; but my fate does not afford me any
other means of returning kindnesses done me save the hearty desire
to repay them."
  "Mine," replied Don Quixote, "is to be of service to you, so much so
that I had resolved not to quit these mountains until I had found you,
and learned of you whether there is any kind of relief to be found for
that sorrow under which from the strangeness of your life you seem
to labour; and to search for you with all possible diligence, if
search had been necessary. And if your misfortune should prove to be
one of those that refuse admission to any sort of consolation, it
was my purpose to join you in lamenting and mourning over it, so far
as I could; for it is still some comfort in misfortune to find one who
can feel for it. And if my good intentions deserve to be
acknowledged with any kind of courtesy, I entreat you, senor, by
that which I perceive you possess in so high a degree, and likewise
conjure you by whatever you love or have loved best in life, to tell
me who you are and the cause that has brought you to live or die in
these solitudes like a brute beast, dwelling among them in a manner so
foreign to your condition as your garb and appearance show. And I
swear," added Don Quixote, "by the order of knighthood which I have
received, and by my vocation of knight-errant, if you gratify me in
this, to serve you with all the zeal my calling demands of me,
either in relieving your misfortune if it admits of relief, or in
joining you in lamenting it as I promised to do."
  The Knight of the Thicket, hearing him of the Rueful Countenance
talk in this strain, did nothing but stare at him, and stare at him
again, and again survey him from head to foot; and when he had
thoroughly examined him, he said to him:
  "If you have anything to give me to eat, for God's sake give it
me, and after I have eaten I will do all you ask in acknowledgment
of the goodwill you have displayed towards me."
  Sancho from his sack, and the goatherd from his pouch, furnished the
Ragged One with the means of appeasing his hunger, and what they
gave him he ate like a half-witted being, so hastily that he took no
time between mouthfuls, gorging rather than swallowing; and while he
ate neither he nor they who observed him uttered a word. As soon as he
had done he made signs to them to follow him, which they did, and he
led them to a green plot which lay a little farther off round the
corner of a rock. On reaching it he stretched himself upon the
grass, and the others did the same, all keeping silence, until the
Ragged One, settling himself in his place, said:
  "If it is your wish, sirs, that I should disclose in a few words the
surpassing extent of my misfortunes, you must promise not to break the
thread of my sad story with any question or other interruption, for
the instant you do so the tale I tell will come to an end."
  These words of the Ragged One reminded Don Quixote of the tale his
squire had told him, when he failed to keep count of the goats that
had crossed the river and the story remained unfinished; but to return
to the Ragged One, he went on to say:
  "I give you this warning because I wish to pass briefly over the
story of my misfortunes, for recalling them to memory only serves to
add fresh ones, and the less you question me the sooner shall I make
an end of the recital, though I shall not omit to relate anything of
importance in order fully to satisfy your curiosity."
  Don Quixote gave the promise for himself and the others, and with
this assurance he began as follows:
  "My name is Cardenio, my birthplace one of the best cities of this
Andalusia, my family noble, my parents rich, my misfortune so great
that my parents must have wept and my family grieved over it without
being able by their wealth to lighten it; for the gifts of fortune can
do little to relieve reverses sent by Heaven. In that same country
there was a heaven in which love had placed all the glory I could
desire; such was the beauty of Luscinda, a damsel as noble and as rich
as I, but of happier fortunes, and of less firmness than was due to so
worthy a passion as mine. This Luscinda I loved, worshipped, and
adored from my earliest and tenderest years, and she loved me in all
the innocence and sincerity of childhood. Our parents were aware of
our feelings, and were not sorry to perceive them, for they saw
clearly that as they ripened they must lead at last to a marriage
between us, a thing that seemed almost prearranged by the equality
of our families and wealth. We grew up, and with our growth grew the
love between us, so that the father of Luscinda felt bound for
propriety's sake to refuse me admission to his house, in this
perhaps imitating the parents of that Thisbe so celebrated by the
poets, and this refusal but added love to love and flame to flame; for
though they enforced silence upon our tongues they could not impose it
upon our pens, which can make known the heart's secrets to a loved one
more freely than tongues; for many a time the presence of the object
of love shakes the firmest will and strikes dumb the boldest tongue.
Ah heavens! how many letters did I write her, and how many dainty
modest replies did I receive! how many ditties and love-songs did I
compose in which my heart declared and made known its feelings,
described its ardent longings, revelled in its recollections and
dallied with its desires! At length growing impatient and feeling my
heart languishing with longing to see her, I resolved to put into
execution and carry out what seemed to me the best mode of winning
my desired and merited reward, to ask her of her father for my
lawful wife, which I did. To this his answer was that he thanked me
for the disposition I showed to do honour to him and to regard
myself as honoured by the bestowal of his treasure; but that as my
father was alive it was his by right to make this demand, for if it
were not in accordance with his full will and pleasure, Luscinda was
not to be taken or given by stealth. I thanked him for his kindness,
reflecting that there was reason in what he said, and that my father
would assent to it as soon as I should tell him, and with that view
I went the very same instant to let him know what my desires were.
When I entered the room where he was I found him with an open letter
in his hand, which, before I could utter a word, he gave me, saying,
'By this letter thou wilt see, Cardenio, the disposition the Duke
Ricardo has to serve thee.' This Duke Ricardo, as you, sirs,
probably know already, is a grandee of Spain who has his seat in the
best part of this Andalusia. I took and read the letter, which was
couched in terms so flattering that even I myself felt it would be
wrong in my father not to comply with the request the duke made in it,
which was that he would send me immediately to him, as he wished me to
become the companion, not servant, of his eldest son, and would take
upon himself the charge of placing me in a position corresponding to
the esteem in which he held me. On reading the letter my voice
failed me, and still more when I heard my father say, 'Two days
hence thou wilt depart, Cardenio, in accordance with the duke's
wish, and give thanks to God who is opening a road to thee by which
thou mayest attain what I know thou dost deserve; and to these words
he added others of fatherly counsel. The time for my departure
arrived; I spoke one night to Luscinda, I told her all that had
occurred, as I did also to her father, entreating him to allow some
delay, and to defer the disposal of her hand until I should see what
the Duke Ricardo sought of me: he gave me the promise, and she
confirmed it with vows and swoonings unnumbered. Finally, I
presented myself to the duke, and was received and treated by him so
kindly that very soon envy began to do its work, the old servants
growing envious of me, and regarding the duke's inclination to show me
favour as an injury to themselves. But the one to whom my arrival gave
the greatest pleasure was the duke's second son, Fernando by name, a
gallant youth, of noble, generous, and amorous disposition, who very
soon made so intimate a friend of me that it was remarked by
everybody; for though the elder was attached to me, and showed me
kindness, he did not carry his affectionate treatment to the same
length as Don Fernando. It so happened, then, that as between
friends no secret remains unshared, and as the favour I enjoyed with
Don Fernando had grown into friendship, he made all his thoughts known
to me, and in particular a love affair which troubled his mind a
little. He was deeply in love with a peasant girl, a vassal of his
father's, the daughter of wealthy parents, and herself so beautiful,
modest, discreet, and virtuous, that no one who knew her was able to
decide in which of these respects she was most highly gifted or most
excelled. The attractions of the fair peasant raised the passion of
Don Fernando to such a point that, in order to gain his object and
overcome her virtuous resolutions, he determined to pledge his word to
her to become her husband, for to attempt it in any other way was to
attempt an impossibility. Bound to him as I was by friendship, I
strove by the best arguments and the most forcible examples I could
think of to restrain and dissuade him from such a course; but
perceiving I produced no effect I resolved to make the Duke Ricardo,
his father, acquainted with the matter; but Don Fernando, being
sharp-witted and shrewd, foresaw and apprehended this, perceiving that
by my duty as a good servant I was bound not to keep concealed a thing
so much opposed to the honour of my lord the duke; and so, to
mislead and deceive me, he told me he could find no better way of
effacing from his mind the beauty that so enslaved him than by
absenting himself for some months, and that he wished the absence to
be effected by our going, both of us, to my father's house under the
pretence, which he would make to the duke, of going to see and buy
some fine horses that there were in my city, which produces the best
in the world. When I heard him say so, even if his resolution had
not been so good a one I should have hailed it as one of the
happiest that could be imagined, prompted by my affection, seeing what
a favourable chance and opportunity it offered me of returning to
see my Luscinda. With this thought and wish I commended his idea and
encouraged his design, advising him to put it into execution as
quickly as possible, as, in truth, absence produced its effect in
spite of the most deeply rooted feelings. But, as afterwards appeared,
when he said this to me he had already enjoyed the peasant girl
under the title of husband, and was waiting for an opportunity of
making it known with safety to himself, being in dread of what his
father the duke would do when he came to know of his folly. It
happened, then, that as with young men love is for the most part
nothing more than appetite, which, as its final object is enjoyment,
comes to an end on obtaining it, and that which seemed to be love
takes to flight, as it cannot pass the limit fixed by nature, which
fixes no limit to true love- what I mean is that after Don Fernando
had enjoyed this peasant girl his passion subsided and his eagerness
cooled, and if at first he feigned a wish to absent himself in order
to cure his love, he was now in reality anxious to go to avoid keeping
his promise.
  "The duke gave him permission, and ordered me to accompany him; we
arrived at my city, and my father gave him the reception due to his
rank; I saw Luscinda without delay, and, though it had not been dead
or deadened, my love gathered fresh life. To my sorrow I told the
story of it to Don Fernando, for I thought that in virtue of the great
friendship he bore me I was bound to conceal nothing from him. I
extolled her beauty, her gaiety, her wit, so warmly, that my praises
excited in him a desire to see a damsel adorned by such attractions.
To my misfortune I yielded to it, showing her to him one night by
the light of a taper at a window where we used to talk to one another.
As she appeared to him in her dressing-gown, she drove all the
beauties he had seen until then out of his recollection; speech failed
him, his head turned, he was spell-bound, and in the end love-smitten,
as you will see in the course of the story of my misfortune; and to
inflame still further his passion, which he hid from me and revealed
to Heaven alone, it so happened that one day he found a note of hers
entreating me to demand her of her father in marriage, so delicate, so
modest, and so tender, that on reading it he told me that in
Luscinda alone were combined all the charms of beauty and
understanding that were distributed among all the other women in the
world. It is true, and I own it now, that though I knew what good
cause Don Fernando had to praise Luscinda, it gave me uneasiness to
hear these praises from his mouth, and I began to fear, and with
reason to feel distrust of him, for there was no moment when he was
not ready to talk of Luscinda, and he would start the subject
himself even though he dragged it in unseasonably, a circumstance that
aroused in me a certain amount of jealousy; not that I feared any
change in the constancy or faith of Luscinda; but still my fate led me
to forebode what she assured me against. Don Fernando contrived always
to read the letters I sent to Luscinda and her answers to me, under
the pretence that he enjoyed the wit and sense of both. It so
happened, then, that Luscinda having begged of me a book of chivalry
to read, one that she was very fond of, Amadis of Gaul-"
  Don Quixote no sooner heard a book of chivalry mentioned, than he
said:
  "Had your worship told me at the beginning of your story that the
Lady Luscinda was fond of books of chivalry, no other laudation
would have been requisite to impress upon me the superiority of her
understanding, for it could not have been of the excellence you
describe had a taste for such delightful reading been wanting; so,
as far as I am concerned, you need waste no more words in describing
her beauty, worth, and intelligence; for, on merely hearing what her
taste was, I declare her to be the most beautiful and the most
intelligent woman in the world; and I wish your worship had, along
with Amadis of Gaul, sent her the worthy Don Rugel of Greece, for I
know the Lady Luscinda would greatly relish Daraida and Garaya, and
the shrewd sayings of the shepherd Darinel, and the admirable verses
of his bucolics, sung and delivered by him with such sprightliness,
wit, and ease; but a time may come when this omission can be remedied,
and to rectify it nothing more is needed than for your worship to be
so good as to come with me to my village, for there I can give you
more than three hundred books which are the delight of my soul and the
entertainment of my life;- though it occurs to me that I have not
got one of them now, thanks to the spite of wicked and envious
enchanters;- but pardon me for having broken the promise we made not
to interrupt your discourse; for when I hear chivalry or
knights-errant mentioned, I can no more help talking about them than
the rays of the sun can help giving heat, or those of the moon
moisture; pardon me, therefore, and proceed, for that is more to the
purpose now."
  While Don Quixote was saying this, Cardenio allowed his head to fall
upon his breast, and seemed plunged in deep thought; and though
twice Don Quixote bade him go on with his story, he neither looked
up nor uttered a word in reply; but after some time he raised his head
and said, "I cannot get rid of the idea, nor will anyone in the
world remove it, or make me think otherwise -and he would be a
blockhead who would hold or believe anything else than that that
arrant knave Master Elisabad made free with Queen Madasima."
  "That is not true, by all that's good," said Don Quixote in high
wrath, turning upon him angrily, as his way was; "and it is a very
great slander, or rather villainy. Queen Madasima was a very
illustrious lady, and it is not to be supposed that so exalted a
princess would have made free with a quack; and whoever maintains
the contrary lies like a great scoundrel, and I will give him to
know it, on foot or on horseback, armed or unarmed, by night or by
day, or as he likes best."
  Cardenio was looking at him steadily, and his mad fit having now
come upon him, he had no disposition to go on with his story, nor
would Don Quixote have listened to it, so much had what he had heard
about Madasima disgusted him. Strange to say, he stood up for her as
if she were in earnest his veritable born lady; to such a pass had his
unholy books brought him. Cardenio, then, being, as I said, now mad,
when he heard himself given the lie, and called a scoundrel and
other insulting names, not relishing the jest, snatched up a stone
that he found near him, and with it delivered such a blow on Don
Quixote's breast that he laid him on his back. Sancho Panza, seeing
his master treated in this fashion, attacked the madman with his
closed fist; but the Ragged One received him in such a way that with a
blow of his fist he stretched him at his feet, and then mounting
upon him crushed his ribs to his own satisfaction; the goatherd, who
came to the rescue, shared the same fate; and having beaten and
pummelled them all he left them and quietly withdrew to his
hiding-place on the mountain. Sancho rose, and with the rage he felt
at finding himself so belaboured without deserving it, ran to take
vengeance on the goatherd, accusing him of not giving them warning
that this man was at times taken with a mad fit, for if they had known
it they would have been on their guard to protect themselves. The
goatherd replied that he had said so, and that if he had not heard
him, that was no fault of his. Sancho retorted, and the goatherd
rejoined, and the altercation ended in their seizing each other by the
beard, and exchanging such fisticuffs that if Don Quixote had not made
peace between them, they would have knocked one another to pieces.
  "Leave me alone, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance," said Sancho,
grappling with the goatherd, "for of this fellow, who is a clown
like myself, and no dubbed knight, I can safely take satisfaction
for the affront he has offered me, fighting with him hand to hand like
an honest man."
  "That is true," said Don Quixote, "but I know that he is not to
blame for what has happened."
  With this he pacified them, and again asked the goatherd if it would
be possible to find Cardenio, as he felt the greatest anxiety to
know the end of his story. The goatherd told him, as he had told him
before, that there was no knowing of a certainty where his lair was;
but that if he wandered about much in that neighbourhood he could
not fail to fall in with him either in or out of his senses.
  CHAPTER XXV
  WHICH TREATS OF THE STRANGE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO THE STOUT KNIGHT
OF LA MANCHA IN THE SIERRA MORENA, AND OF HIS IMITATION OF THE PENANCE
OF BELTENEBROS

  DON QUIXOTE took leave of the goatherd, and once more mounting
Rocinante bade Sancho follow him, which he having no ass, did very
discontentedly. They proceeded slowly, making their way into the
most rugged part of the mountain, Sancho all the while dying to have a
talk with his master, and longing for him to begin, so that there
should be no breach of the injunction laid upon him; but unable to
keep silence so long he said to him:
  "Senor Don Quixote, give me your worship's blessing and dismissal,
for I'd like to go home at once to my wife and children with whom I
can at any rate talk and converse as much as I like; for to want me to
go through these solitudes day and night and not speak to you when I
have a mind is burying me alive. If luck would have it that animals
spoke as they did in the days of Guisopete, it would not be so bad,
because I could talk to Rocinante about whatever came into my head,
and so put up with my ill-fortune; but it is a hard case, and not to
be borne with patience, to go seeking adventures all one's life and
get nothing but kicks and blanketings, brickbats and punches, and with
all this to have to sew up one's mouth without daring to say what is
in one's heart, just as if one were dumb."
  "I understand thee, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "thou art dying to
have the interdict I placed upon thy tongue removed; consider it
removed, and say what thou wilt while we are wandering in these
mountains."
  "So be it," said Sancho; "let me speak now, for God knows what
will happen by-and-by; and to take advantage of the permit at once,
I ask, what made your worship stand up so for that Queen Majimasa,
or whatever her name is, or what did it matter whether that abbot
was a friend of hers or not? for if your worship had let that pass
-and you were not a judge in the matter- it is my belief the madman
would have gone on with his story, and the blow of the stone, and
the kicks, and more than half a dozen cuffs would have been escaped."
  "In faith, Sancho," answered Don Quixote, "if thou knewest as I do
what an honourable and illustrious lady Queen Madasima was, I know
thou wouldst say I had great patience that I did not break in pieces
the mouth that uttered such blasphemies, for a very great blasphemy it
is to say or imagine that a queen has made free with a surgeon. The
truth of the story is that that Master Elisabad whom the madman
mentioned was a man of great prudence and sound judgment, and served
as governor and physician to the queen, but to suppose that she was
his mistress is nonsense deserving very severe punishment; and as a
proof that Cardenio did not know what he was saying, remember when
he said it he was out of his wits."
  "That is what I say," said Sancho; "there was no occasion for
minding the words of a madman; for if good luck had not helped your
worship, and he had sent that stone at your head instead of at your
breast, a fine way we should have been in for standing up for my
lady yonder, God confound her! And then, would not Cardenio have
gone free as a madman?"
  "Against men in their senses or against madmen," said Don Quixote,
"every knight-errant is bound to stand up for the honour of women,
whoever they may be, much more for queens of such high degree and
dignity as Queen Madasima, for whom I have a particular regard on
account of her amiable qualities; for, besides being extremely
beautiful, she was very wise, and very patient under her
misfortunes, of which she had many; and the counsel and society of the
Master Elisabad were a great help and support to her in enduring her
afflictions with wisdom and resignation; hence the ignorant and
ill-disposed vulgar took occasion to say and think that she was his
mistress; and they lie, I say it once more, and will lie two hundred
times more, all who think and say so."
  "I neither say nor think so," said Sancho; "let them look to it;
with their bread let them eat it; they have rendered account to God
whether they misbehaved or not; I come from my vineyard, I know
nothing; I am not fond of prying into other men's lives; he who buys
and lies feels it in his purse; moreover, naked was I born, naked I
find myself, I neither lose nor gain; but if they did, what is that to
me? many think there are flitches where there are no hooks; but who
can put gates to the open plain? moreover they said of God-"
  "God bless me," said Don Quixote, "what a set of absurdities thou
art stringing together! What has what we are talking about got to do
with the proverbs thou art threading one after the other? for God's
sake hold thy tongue, Sancho, and henceforward keep to prodding thy
ass and don't meddle in what does not concern thee; and understand
with all thy five senses that everything I have done, am doing, or
shall do, is well founded on reason and in conformity with the rules
of chivalry, for I understand them better than all the world that
profess them."
  "Senor," replied Sancho, "is it a good rule of chivalry that we
should go astray through these mountains without path or road, looking
for a madman who when he is found will perhaps take a fancy to
finish what he began, not his story, but your worship's head and my
ribs, and end by breaking them altogether for us?"
  "Peace, I say again, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for let me tell
thee it is not so much the desire of finding that madman that leads me
into these regions as that which I have of performing among them an
achievement wherewith I shall win eternal name and fame throughout the
known world; and it shall be such that I shall thereby set the seal on
all that can make a knight-errant perfect and famous."
  "And is it very perilous, this achievement?"
  "No," replied he of the Rueful Countenance; "though it may be in the
dice that we may throw deuce-ace instead of sixes; but all will depend
on thy diligence."
  "On my diligence!" said Sancho.
  "Yes," said Don Quixote, "for if thou dost return soon from the
place where I mean to send thee, my penance will be soon over, and
my glory will soon begin. But as it is not right to keep thee any
longer in suspense, waiting to see what comes of my words, I would
have thee know, Sancho, that the famous Amadis of Gaul was one of
the most perfect knights-errant- I am wrong to say he was one; he
stood alone, the first, the only one, the lord of all that were in the
world in his time. A fig for Don Belianis, and for all who say he
equalled him in any respect, for, my oath upon it, they are
deceiving themselves! I say, too, that when a painter desires to
become famous in his art he endeavours to copy the originals of the
rarest painters that he knows; and the same rule holds good for all
the most important crafts and callings that serve to adorn a state;
thus must he who would be esteemed prudent and patient imitate
Ulysses, in whose person and labours Homer presents to us a lively
picture of prudence and patience; as Virgil, too, shows us in the
person of AEneas the virtue of a pious son and the sagacity of a brave
and skilful captain; not representing or describing them as they were,
but as they ought to be, so as to leave the example of their virtues
to posterity. In the same way Amadis was the polestar, day-star, sun
of valiant and devoted knights, whom all we who fight under the banner
of love and chivalry are bound to imitate. This, then, being so, I
consider, friend Sancho, that the knight-errant who shall imitate
him most closely will come nearest to reaching the perfection of
chivalry. Now one of the instances in which this knight most
conspicuously showed his prudence, worth, valour, endurance,
fortitude, and love, was when he withdrew, rejected by the Lady
Oriana, to do penance upon the Pena Pobre, changing his name into that
of Beltenebros, a name assuredly significant and appropriate to the
life which he had voluntarily adopted. So, as it is easier for me to
imitate him in this than in cleaving giants asunder, cutting off
serpents' heads, slaying dragons, routing armies, destroying fleets,
and breaking enchantments, and as this place is so well suited for a
similar purpose, I must not allow the opportunity to escape which
now so conveniently offers me its forelock."
  "What is it in reality," said Sancho, "that your worship means to do
in such an out-of-the-way place as this?"
  "Have I not told thee," answered Don Quixote, "that I mean to
imitate Amadis here, playing the victim of despair, the madman, the
maniac, so as at the same time to imitate the valiant Don Roland, when
at the fountain he had evidence of the fair Angelica having
disgraced herself with Medoro and through grief thereat went mad,
and plucked up trees, troubled the waters of the clear springs, slew
destroyed flocks, burned down huts, levelled houses, dragged mares
after him, and perpetrated a hundred thousand other outrages worthy of
everlasting renown and record? And though I have no intention of
imitating Roland, or Orlando, or Rotolando (for he went by all these
names), step by step in all the mad things he did, said, and
thought, I will make a rough copy to the best of my power of all
that seems to me most essential; but perhaps I shall content myself
with the simple imitation of Amadis, who without giving way to any
mischievous madness but merely to tears and sorrow, gained as much
fame as the most famous."
  "It seems to me," said Sancho, "that the knights who behaved in this
way had provocation and cause for those follies and penances; but what
cause has your worship for going mad? What lady has rejected you, or
what evidence have you found to prove that the lady Dulcinea del
Toboso has been trifling with Moor or Christian?"
  "There is the point," replied Don Quixote, "and that is the beauty
of this business of mine; no thanks to a knight-errant for going mad
when he has cause; the thing is to turn crazy without any provocation,
and let my lady know, if I do this in the dry, what I would do in
the moist; moreover I have abundant cause in the long separation I
have endured from my lady till death, Dulcinea del Toboso; for as thou
didst hear that shepherd Ambrosio say the other day, in absence all
ills are felt and feared; and so, friend Sancho, waste no time in
advising me against so rare, so happy, and so unheard-of an imitation;
mad I am, and mad I must be until thou returnest with the answer to
a letter that I mean to send by thee to my lady Dulcinea; and if it be
such as my constancy deserves, my insanity and penance will come to an
end; and if it be to the opposite effect, I shall become mad in
earnest, and, being so, I shall suffer no more; thus in whatever way
she may answer I shall escape from the struggle and affliction in
which thou wilt leave me, enjoying in my senses the boon thou
bearest me, or as a madman not feeling the evil thou bringest me.
But tell me, Sancho, hast thou got Mambrino's helmet safe? for I saw
thee take it up from the ground when that ungrateful wretch tried to
break it in pieces but could not, by which the fineness of its
temper may be seen."
  To which Sancho made answer, "By the living God, Sir Knight of the
Rueful Countenance, I cannot endure or bear with patience some of
the things that your worship says; and from them I begin to suspect
that all you tell me about chivalry, and winning kingdoms and empires,
and giving islands, and bestowing other rewards and dignities after
the custom of knights-errant, must be all made up of wind and lies,
and all pigments or figments, or whatever we may call them; for what
would anyone think that heard your worship calling a barber's basin
Mambrino's helmet without ever seeing the mistake all this time, but
that one who says and maintains such things must have his brains
addled? I have the basin in my sack all dinted, and I am taking it
home to have it mended, to trim my beard in it, if, by God's grace,
I am allowed to see my wife and children some day or other."
  "Look here, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "by him thou didst swear by
just now I swear thou hast the most limited understanding that any
squire in the world has or ever had. Is it possible that all this time
thou hast been going about with me thou hast never found out that
all things belonging to knights-errant seem to be illusions and
nonsense and ravings, and to go always by contraries? And not
because it really is so, but because there is always a swarm of
enchanters in attendance upon us that change and alter everything with
us, and turn things as they please, and according as they are disposed
to aid or destroy us; thus what seems to thee a barber's basin seems
to me Mambrino's helmet, and to another it will seem something else;
and rare foresight it was in the sage who is on my side to make what
is really and truly Mambrine's helmet seem a basin to everybody,
for, being held in such estimation as it is, all the world would
pursue me to rob me of it; but when they see it is only a barber's
basin they do not take the trouble to obtain it; as was plainly
shown by him who tried to break it, and left it on the ground
without taking it, for, by my faith, had he known it he would never
have left it behind. Keep it safe, my friend, for just now I have no
need of it; indeed, I shall have to take off all this armour and
remain as naked as I was born, if I have a mind to follow Roland
rather than Amadis in my penance."
  Thus talking they reached the foot of a high mountain which stood
like an isolated peak among the others that surrounded it. Past its
base there flowed a gentle brook, all around it spread a meadow so
green and luxuriant that it was a delight to the eyes to look upon it,
and forest trees in abundance, and shrubs and flowers, added to the
charms of the spot. Upon this place the Knight of the Rueful
Countenance fixed his choice for the performance of his penance, and
as he beheld it exclaimed in a loud voice as though he were out of his
senses:
  "This is the place, oh, ye heavens, that I select and choose for
bewailing the misfortune in which ye yourselves have plunged me:
this is the spot where the overflowings of mine eyes shall swell the
waters of yon little brook, and my deep and endless sighs shall stir
unceasingly the leaves of these mountain trees, in testimony and token
of the pain my persecuted heart is suffering. Oh, ye rural deities,
whoever ye be that haunt this lone spot, give ear to the complaint
of a wretched lover whom long absence and brooding jealousy have
driven to bewail his fate among these wilds and complain of the hard
heart of that fair and ungrateful one, the end and limit of all
human beauty! Oh, ye wood nymphs and dryads, that dwell in the
thickets of the forest, so may the nimble wanton satyrs by whom ye are
vainly wooed never disturb your sweet repose, help me to lament my
hard fate or at least weary not at listening to it! Oh, Dulcinea del
Toboso, day of my night, glory of my pain, guide of my path, star of
my fortune, so may Heaven grant thee in full all thou seekest of it,
bethink thee of the place and condition to which absence from thee has
brought me, and make that return in kindness that is due to my
fidelity! Oh, lonely trees, that from this day forward shall bear me
company in my solitude, give me some sign by the gentle movement of
your boughs that my presence is not distasteful to you! Oh, thou, my
squire, pleasant companion in my prosperous and adverse fortunes,
fix well in thy memory what thou shalt see me do here, so that thou
mayest relate and report it to the sole cause of all," and so saying
he dismounted from Rocinante, and in an instant relieved him of saddle
and bridle, and giving him a slap on the croup, said, "He gives thee
freedom who is bereft of it himself, oh steed as excellent in deed
as thou art unfortunate in thy lot; begone where thou wilt, for thou
bearest written on thy forehead that neither Astolfo's hippogriff, nor
the famed Frontino that cost Bradamante so dear, could equal thee in
speed."
  Seeing this Sancho said, "Good luck to him who has saved us the
trouble of stripping the pack-saddle off Dapple! By my faith he
would not have gone without a slap on the croup and something said
in his praise; though if he were here I would not let anyone strip
him, for there would be no occasion, as he had nothing of the lover or
victim of despair about him, inasmuch as his master, which I was while
it was God's pleasure, was nothing of the sort; and indeed, Sir Knight
of the Rueful Countenance, if my departure and your worship's
madness are to come off in earnest, it will be as well to saddle
Rocinante again in order that he may supply the want of Dapple,
because it will save me time in going and returning: for if I go on
foot I don't know when I shall get there or when I shall get back,
as I am, in truth, a bad walker."
  "I declare, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "it shall be as thou
wilt, for thy plan does not seem to me a bad one, and three days hence
thou wilt depart, for I wish thee to observe in the meantime what I do
and say for her sake, that thou mayest be able to tell it."
  "But what more have I to see besides what I have seen?" said Sancho.
  "Much thou knowest about it!" said Don Quixote. "I have now got to
tear up my garments, to scatter about my armour, knock my head against
these rocks, and more of the same sort of thing, which thou must
witness."
  "For the love of God," said Sancho, "be careful, your worship, how
you give yourself those knocks on the head, for you may come across
such a rock, and in such a way, that the very first may put an end
to the whole contrivance of this penance; and I should think, if
indeed knocks on the head seem necessary to you, and this business
cannot be done without them, you might be content -as the whole
thing is feigned, and counterfeit, and in joke- you might be
content, I say, with giving them to yourself in the water, or
against something soft, like cotton; and leave it all to me; for
I'll tell my lady that your worship knocked your head against a
point of rock harder than a diamond."
  "I thank thee for thy good intentions, friend Sancho," answered
Don Quixote, "but I would have thee know that all these things I am
doing are not in joke, but very much in earnest, for anything else
would be a transgression of the ordinances of chivalry, which forbid
us to tell any lie whatever under the penalties due to apostasy; and
to do one thing instead of another is just the same as lying; so my
knocks on the head must be real, solid, and valid, without anything
sophisticated or fanciful about them, and it will be needful to
leave me some lint to dress my wounds, since fortune has compelled
us to do without the balsam we lost."
  "It was worse losing the ass," replied Sancho, "for with him lint
and all were lost; but I beg of your worship not to remind me again of
that accursed liquor, for my soul, not to say my stomach, turns at
hearing the very name of it; and I beg of you, too, to reckon as
past the three days you allowed me for seeing the mad things you do,
for I take them as seen already and pronounced upon, and I will tell
wonderful stories to my lady; so write the letter and send me off at
once, for I long to return and take your worship out of this purgatory
where I am leaving you."
  "Purgatory dost thou call it, Sancho?" said Don Quixote, "rather
call it hell, or even worse if there be anything worse."
  "For one who is in hell," said Sancho, "nulla est retentio, as I
have heard say."
  "I do not understand what retentio means," said Don Quixote.
  "Retentio," answered Sancho, "means that whoever is in hell never
comes nor can come out of it, which will be the opposite case with
your worship or my legs will be idle, that is if I have spurs to
enliven Rocinante: let me once get to El Toboso and into the
presence of my lady Dulcinea, and I will tell her such things of the
follies and madnesses (for it is all one) that your worship has done
and is still doing, that I will manage to make her softer than a glove
though I find her harder than a cork tree; and with her sweet and
honeyed answer I will come back through the air like a witch, and take
your worship out of this purgatory that seems to be hell but is not,
as there is hope of getting out of it; which, as I have said, those in
hell have not, and I believe your worship will not say anything to the
contrary."
  "That is true," said he of the Rueful Countenance, "but how shall we
manage to write the letter?"
  "And the ass-colt order too," added Sancho.
  "All shall be included," said Don Quixote; "and as there is no
paper, it would be well done to write it on the leaves of trees, as
the ancients did, or on tablets of wax; though that would be as hard
to find just now as paper. But it has just occurred to me how it may
be conveniently and even more than conveniently written, and that is
in the note-book that belonged to Cardenio, and thou wilt take care to
have it copied on paper, in a good hand, at the first village thou
comest to where there is a schoolmaster, or if not, any sacristan will
copy it; but see thou give it not to any notary to copy, for they
write a law hand that Satan could not make out."
  "But what is to be done about the signature?" said Sancho.
  "The letters of Amadis were never signed," said Don Quixote.
  "That is all very well," said Sancho, "but the order must needs be
signed, and if it is copied they will say the signature is false,
and I shall be left without ass-colts."
  "The order shall go signed in the same book," said Don Quixote, "and
on seeing it my niece will make no difficulty about obeying it; as
to the loveletter thou canst put by way of signature, 'Yours till
death, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance.' And it will be no
great matter if it is in some other person's hand, for as well as I
recollect Dulcinea can neither read nor write, nor in the whole course
of her life has she seen handwriting or letter of mine, for my love
and hers have been always platonic, not going beyond a modest look,
and even that so seldom that I can safely swear I have not seen her
four times in all these twelve years I have been loving her more
than the light of these eyes that the earth will one day devour; and
perhaps even of those four times she has not once perceived that I was
looking at her: such is the retirement and seclusion in which her
father Lorenzo Corchuelo and her mother Aldonza Nogales have brought
her up."
  "So, so!" said Sancho; "Lorenzo Corchuelo's daughter is the lady
Dulcinea del Toboso, otherwise called Aldonza Lorenzo?"
  "She it is," said Don Quixote, "and she it is that is worthy to be
lady of the whole universe."
  "I know her well," said Sancho, "and let me tell you she can fling a
crowbar as well as the lustiest lad in all the town. Giver of all
good! but she is a brave lass, and a right and stout one, and fit to
be helpmate to any knight-errant that is or is to be, who may make her
his lady: the whoreson wench, what sting she has and what a voice! I
can tell you one day she posted herself on the top of the belfry of
the village to call some labourers of theirs that were in a ploughed
field of her father's, and though they were better than half a
league off they heard her as well as if they were at the foot of the
tower; and the best of her is that she is not a bit prudish, for she
has plenty of affability, and jokes with everybody, and has a grin and
a jest for everything. So, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, I say
you not only may and ought to do mad freaks for her sake, but you have
a good right to give way to despair and hang yourself; and no one
who knows of it but will say you did well, though the devil should
take you; and I wish I were on my road already, simply to see her, for
it is many a day since I saw her, and she must be altered by this
time, for going about the fields always, and the sun and the air spoil
women's looks greatly. But I must own the truth to your worship, Senor
Don Quixote; until now I have been under a great mistake, for I
believed truly and honestly that the lady Dulcinea must be some
princess your worship was in love with, or some person great enough to
deserve the rich presents you have sent her, such as the Biscayan
and the galley slaves, and many more no doubt, for your worship must
have won many victories in the time when I was not yet your squire.
But all things considered, what good can it do the lady Aldonza
Lorenzo, I mean the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, to have the vanquished
your worship sends or will send coming to her and going down on
their knees before her? Because may be when they came she'd be
hackling flax or threshing on the threshing floor, and they'd be
ashamed to see her, and she'd laugh, or resent the present."
  "I have before now told thee many times, Sancho," said Don
Quixote, "that thou art a mighty great chatterer, and that with a
blunt wit thou art always striving at sharpness; but to show thee what
a fool thou art and how rational I am, I would have thee listen to a
short story. Thou must know that a certain widow, fair, young,
independent, and rich, and above all free and easy, fell in love
with a sturdy strapping young lay-brother; his superior came to know
of it, and one day said to the worthy widow by way of brotherly
remonstrance, 'I am surprised, senora, and not without good reason,
that a woman of such high standing, so fair, and so rich as you are,
should have fallen in love with such a mean, low, stupid fellow as
So-and-so, when in this house there are so many masters, graduates,
and divinity students from among whom you might choose as if they were
a lot of pears, saying this one I'll take, that I won't take;' but she
replied to him with great sprightliness and candour, 'My dear sir, you
are very much mistaken, and your ideas are very old-fashioned, if
you think that I have made a bad choice in So-and-so, fool as he
seems; because for all I want with him he knows as much and more
philosophy than Aristotle.' In the same way, Sancho, for all I want
with Dulcinea del Toboso she is just as good as the most exalted
princess on earth. It is not to be supposed that all those poets who
sang the praises of ladies under the fancy names they give them, had
any such mistresses. Thinkest thou that the Amarillises, the
Phillises, the Sylvias, the Dianas, the Galateas, the Filidas, and all
the rest of them, that the books, the ballads, the barber's shops, the
theatres are full of, were really and truly ladies of flesh and blood,
and mistresses of those that glorify and have glorified them?
Nothing of the kind; they only invent them for the most part to
furnish a subject for their verses, and that they may pass for lovers,
or for men valiant enough to be so; and so it suffices me to think and
believe that the good Aldonza Lorenzo is fair and virtuous; and as
to her pedigree it is very little matter, for no one will examine into
it for the purpose of conferring any order upon her, and I, for my
part, reckon her the most exalted princess in the world. For thou
shouldst know, Sancho, if thou dost not know, that two things alone
beyond all others are incentives to love, and these are great beauty
and a good name, and these two things are to be found in Dulcinea in
the highest degree, for in beauty no one equals her and in good name
few approach her; and to put the whole thing in a nutshell, I persuade
myself that all I say is as I say, neither more nor less, and I
picture her in my imagination as I would have her to be, as well in
beauty as in condition; Helen approaches her not nor does Lucretia
come up to her, nor any other of the famous women of times past,
Greek, Barbarian, or Latin; and let each say what he will, for if in
this I am taken to task by the ignorant, I shall not be censured by
the critical."
  "I say that your worship is entirely right," said Sancho, "and
that I am an ass. But I know not how the name of ass came into my
mouth, for a rope is not to be mentioned in the house of him who has
been hanged; but now for the letter, and then, God be with you, I am
off."
  Don Quixote took out the note-book, and, retiring to one side,
very deliberately began to write the letter, and when he had
finished it he called to Sancho, saying he wished to read it to him,
so that he might commit it to memory, in case of losing it on the
road; for with evil fortune like his anything might be apprehended. To
which Sancho replied, "Write it two or three times there in the book
and give it to me, and I will carry it very carefully, because to
expect me to keep it in my memory is all nonsense, for I have such a
bad one that I often forget my own name; but for all that repeat it to
me, as I shall like to hear it, for surely it will run as if it was in
print."
  "Listen," said Don Quixote, "this is what it says:

        "DON QUIXOTE'S LETTER TO DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO

  "Sovereign and exalted Lady,- The pierced by the point of absence,
the wounded to the heart's core, sends thee, sweetest Dulcinea del
Toboso, the health that he himself enjoys not. If thy beauty
despises me, if thy worth is not for me, if thy scorn is my
affliction, though I be sufficiently long-suffering, hardly shall I
endure this anxiety, which, besides being oppressive, is protracted.
My good squire Sancho will relate to thee in full, fair ingrate,
dear enemy, the condition to which I am reduced on thy account: if
it be thy pleasure to give me relief, I am thine; if not, do as may be
pleasing to thee; for by ending my life I shall satisfy thy cruelty
and my desire.
  "Thine till death,

            "The Knight of the Rueful Countenance."

  "By the life of my father," said Sancho, when he heard the letter,
"it is the loftiest thing I ever heard. Body of me! how your worship
says everything as you like in it! And how well you fit in 'The Knight
of the Rueful Countenance' into the signature. I declare your
worship is indeed the very devil, and there is nothing you don't
know."
  "Everything is needed for the calling I follow," said Don Quixote.
  "Now then," said Sancho, "let your worship put the order for the
three ass-colts on the other side, and sign it very plainly, that they
may recognise it at first sight."
  "With all my heart," said Don Quixote, and as he had written it he
read it to this effect:
  "Mistress Niece,- By this first of ass-colts please pay to Sancho
Panza, my squire, three of the five I left at home in your charge:
said three ass-colts to be paid and delivered for the same number
received here in hand, which upon this and upon his receipt shall be
duly paid. Done in the heart of the Sierra Morena, the
twenty-seventh of August of this present year."
  "That will do," said Sancho; "now let your worship sign it."
  "There is no need to sign it," said Don Quixote, "but merely to
put my flourish, which is the same as a signature, and enough for
three asses, or even three hundred."
  "I can trust your worship," returned Sancho; "let me go and saddle
Rocinante, and be ready to give me your blessing, for I mean to go
at once without seeing the fooleries your worship is going to do; I'll
say I saw you do so many that she will not want any more."
  "At any rate, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "I should like- and there
is reason for it- I should like thee, I say, to see me stripped to the
skin and performing a dozen or two of insanities, which I can get done
in less than half an hour; for having seen them with thine own eyes,
thou canst then safely swear to the rest that thou wouldst add; and
I promise thee thou wilt not tell of as many as I mean to perform."
  "For the love of God, master mine," said Sancho, "let me not see
your worship stripped, for it will sorely grieve me, and I shall not
be able to keep from tears, and my head aches so with all I shed
last night for Dapple, that I am not fit to begin any fresh weeping;
but if it is your worship's pleasure that I should see some
insanities, do them in your clothes, short ones, and such as come
readiest to hand; for I myself want nothing of the sort, and, as I
have said, it will be a saving of time for my return, which will be
with the news your worship desires and deserves. If not, let the
lady Dulcinea look to it; if she does not answer reasonably, I swear
as solemnly as I can that I will fetch a fair answer out of her
stomach with kicks and cuffs; for why should it be borne that a
knight-errant as famous as your worship should go mad without rhyme or
reason for a -? Her ladyship had best not drive me to say it, for by
God I will speak out and let off everything cheap, even if it
doesn't sell: I am pretty good at that! she little knows me; faith, if
she knew me she'd be in awe of me."
  "In faith, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "to all appearance thou art no
sounder in thy wits than I."
  "I am not so mad," answered Sancho, "but I am more peppery; but
apart from all this, what has your worship to eat until I come back?
Will you sally out on the road like Cardenio to force it from the
shepherds?"
  "Let not that anxiety trouble thee," replied Don Quixote, "for
even if I had it I should not eat anything but the herbs and the
fruits which this meadow and these trees may yield me; the beauty of
this business of mine lies in not eating, and in performing other
mortifications."
  "Do you know what I am afraid of?" said Sancho upon this; "that I
shall not be able to find my way back to this spot where I am
leaving you, it is such an out-of-the-way place."
  "Observe the landmarks well," said Don Quixote, "for I will try
not to go far from this neighbourhood, and I will even take care to
mount the highest of these rocks to see if I can discover thee
returning; however, not to miss me and lose thyself, the best plan
will be to cut some branches of the broom that is so abundant about
here, and as thou goest to lay them at intervals until thou hast
come out upon the plain; these will serve thee, after the fashion of
the clue in the labyrinth of Theseus, as marks and signs for finding
me on thy return."
  "So I will," said Sancho Panza, and having cut some, he asked his
master's blessing, and not without many tears on both sides, took
his leave of him, and mounting Rocinante, of whom Don Quixote
charged him earnestly to have as much care as of his own person, he
set out for the plain, strewing at intervals the branches of broom
as his master had recommended him; and so he went his way, though
Don Quixote still entreated him to see him do were it only a couple of
mad acts. He had not gone a hundred paces, however, when he returned
and said:
  "I must say, senor, your worship said quite right, that in order
to be able to swear without a weight on my conscience that I had
seen you do mad things, it would be well for me to see if it were only
one; though in your worship's remaining here I have seen a very
great one."
  "Did I not tell thee so?" said Don Quixote. "Wait, Sancho, and I
will do them in the saying of a credo," and pulling off his breeches
in all haste he stripped himself to his skin and his shirt, and
then, without more ado, he cut a couple of gambados in the air, and
a couple of somersaults, heels over head, making such a display
that, not to see it a second time, Sancho wheeled Rocinante round, and
felt easy, and satisfied in his mind that he could swear he had left
his master mad; and so we will leave him to follow his road until
his return, which was a quick one.
  CHAPTER XXVI
  IN WHICH ARE CONTINUED THE REFINEMENTS WHEREWITH DON QUIXOTE
PLAYED THE PART OF A LOVER IN THE SIERRA MORENA

  RETURNING to the proceedings of him of the Rueful Countenance when
he found himself alone, the history says that when Don Quixote had
completed the performance of the somersaults or capers, naked from the
waist down and clothed from the waist up, and saw that Sancho had gone
off without waiting to see any more crazy feats, he climbed up to
the top of a high rock, and there set himself to consider what he
had several times before considered without ever coming to any
conclusion on the point, namely whether it would be better and more to
his purpose to imitate the outrageous madness of Roland, or the
melancholy madness of Amadis; and communing with himself he said:
  "What wonder is it if Roland was so good a knight and so valiant
as everyone says he was, when, after all, he was enchanted, and nobody
could kill him save by thrusting a corking pin into the sole of his
foot, and he always wore shoes with seven iron soles? Though cunning
devices did not avail him against Bernardo del Carpio, who knew all
about them, and strangled him in his arms at Roncesvalles. But putting
the question of his valour aside, let us come to his losing his
wits, for certain it is that he did lose them in consequence of the
proofs he discovered at the fountain, and the intelligence the
shepherd gave him of Angelica having slept more than two siestas
with Medoro, a little curly-headed Moor, and page to Agramante. If
he was persuaded that this was true, and that his lady had wronged
him, it is no wonder that he should have gone mad; but I, how am I
to imitate him in his madness, unless I can imitate him in the cause
of it? For my Dulcinea, I will venture to swear, never saw a Moor in
her life, as he is, in his proper costume, and she is this day as
the mother that bore her, and I should plainly be doing her a wrong
if, fancying anything else, I were to go mad with the same kind of
madness as Roland the Furious. On the other hand, I see that Amadis of
Gaul, without losing his senses and without doing anything mad,
acquired as a lover as much fame as the most famous; for, according to
his history, on finding himself rejected by his lady Oriana, who had
ordered him not to appear in her presence until it should be her
pleasure, all he did was to retire to the Pena Pobre in company with a
hermit, and there he took his fill of weeping until Heaven sent him
relief in the midst of his great grief and need. And if this be
true, as it is, why should I now take the trouble to strip stark
naked, or do mischief to these trees which have done me no harm, or
why am I to disturb the clear waters of these brooks which will give
me to drink whenever I have a mind? Long live the memory of Amadis and
let him be imitated so far as is possible by Don Quixote of La Mancha,
of whom it will be said, as was said of the other, that if he did
not achieve great things, he died in attempting them; and if I am
not repulsed or rejected by my Dulcinea, it is enough for me, as I
have said, to be absent from her. And so, now to business; come to
my memory ye deeds of Amadis, and show me how I am to begin to imitate
you. I know already that what he chiefly did was to pray and commend
himself to God; but what am I to do for a rosary, for I have not got
one?"
  And then it occurred to him how he might make one, and that was by
tearing a great strip off the tail of his shirt which hung down, and
making eleven knots on it, one bigger than the rest, and this served
him for a rosary all the time he was there, during which he repeated
countless ave-marias. But what distressed him greatly was not having
another hermit there to confess him and receive consolation from;
and so he solaced himself with pacing up and down the little meadow,
and writing and carving on the bark of the trees and on the fine
sand a multitude of verses all in harmony with his sadness, and some
in praise of Dulcinea; but, when he was found there afterwards, the
only ones completely legible that could be discovered were those
that follow here:

     Ye on the mountain side that grow,
       Ye green things all, trees, shrubs, and bushes,
     Are ye aweary of the woe
       That this poor aching bosom crushes?
     If it disturb you, and I owe
        Some reparation, it may be a
     Defence for me to let you know
     Don Quixote's tears are on the flow,
        And all for distant Dulcinea
                             Del Toboso.

     The lealest lover time can show,
       Doomed for a lady-love to languish,
     Among these solitudes doth go,
       A prey to every kind of anguish.
     Why Love should like a spiteful foe
       Thus use him, he hath no idea,
     But hogsheads full- this doth he know-
     Don Quixote's tears are on the flow,
       And all for distant Dulcinea
                             Del Toboso.

     Adventure-seeking doth he go
       Up rugged heights, down rocky valleys,
     But hill or dale, or high or low,
       Mishap attendeth all his sallies:
     Love still pursues him to and fro,
       And plies his cruel scourge- ah me! a
     Relentless fate, an endless woe;
     Don Quixote's tears are on the flow,
       And all for distant Dulcinea
                             Del Toboso.

  The addition of "Del Toboso" to Dulcinea's name gave rise to no
little laughter among those who found the above lines, for they
suspected Don Quixote must have fancied that unless he added "del
Toboso" when he introduced the name of Dulcinea the verse would be
unintelligible; which was indeed the fact, as he himself afterwards
admitted. He wrote many more, but, as has been said, these three
verses were all that could be plainly and perfectly deciphered. In
this way, and in sighing and calling on the fauns and satyrs of the
woods and the nymphs of the streams, and Echo, moist and mournful,
to answer, console, and hear him, as well as in looking for herbs to
sustain him, he passed his time until Sancho's return; and had that
been delayed three weeks, as it was three days, the Knight of the
Rueful Countenance would have worn such an altered countenance that
the mother that bore him would not have known him: and here it will be
well to leave him, wrapped up in sighs and verses, to relate how
Sancho Panza fared on his mission.
  As for him, coming out upon the high road, he made for El Toboso,
and the next day reached the inn where the mishap of the blanket had
befallen him. As soon as he recognised it he felt as if he were once
more living through the air, and he could not bring himself to enter
it though it was an hour when he might well have done so, for it was
dinner-time, and he longed to taste something hot as it had been all
cold fare with him for many days past. This craving drove him to
draw near to the inn, still undecided whether to go in or not, and
as he was hesitating there came out two persons who at once recognised
him, and said one to the other:
  "Senor licentiate, is not he on the horse there Sancho Panza who,
our adventurer's housekeeper told us, went off with her master as
esquire?"
  "So it is," said the licentiate, "and that is our friend Don
Quixote's horse;" and if they knew him so well it was because they
were the curate and the barber of his own village, the same who had
carried out the scrutiny and sentence upon the books; and as soon as
they recognised Sancho Panza and Rocinante, being anxious to hear of
Don Quixote, they approached, and calling him by his name the curate
said, "Friend Sancho Panza, where is your master?"
  Sancho recognised them at once, and determined to keep secret the
place and circumstances where and under which he had left his
master, so he replied that his master was engaged in a certain quarter
on a certain matter of great importance to him which he could not
disclose for the eyes in his head.
  "Nay, nay," said the barber, "if you don't tell us where he is,
Sancho Panza, we will suspect as we suspect already, that you have
murdered and robbed him, for here you are mounted on his horse; in
fact, you must produce the master of the hack, or else take the
consequences."
  "There is no need of threats with me," said Sancho, "for I am not
a man to rob or murder anybody; let his own fate, or God who made him,
kill each one; my master is engaged very much to his taste doing
penance in the midst of these mountains; and then, offhand and without
stopping, he told them how he had left him, what adventures had
befallen him, and how he was carrying a letter to the lady Dulcinea
del Toboso, the daughter of Lorenzo Corchuelo, with whom he was over
head and ears in love. They were both amazed at what Sancho Panza told
them; for though they were aware of Don Quixote's madness and the
nature of it, each time they heard of it they were filled with fresh
wonder. They then asked Sancho Panza to show them the letter he was
carrying to the lady Dulcinea del Toboso. He said it was written in
a note-book, and that his master's directions were that he should have
it copied on paper at the first village he came to. On this the curate
said if he showed it to him, he himself would make a fair copy of
it. Sancho put his hand into his bosom in search of the note-book
but could not find it, nor, if he had been searching until now,
could he have found it, for Don Quixote had kept it, and had never
given it to him, nor had he himself thought of asking for it. When
Sancho discovered he could not find the book his face grew deadly
pale, and in great haste he again felt his body all over, and seeing
plainly it was not to be found, without more ado he seized his beard
with both hands and plucked away half of it, and then, as quick as
he could and without stopping, gave himself half a dozen cuffs on
the face and nose till they were bathed in blood.
  Seeing this, the curate and the barber asked him what had happened
him that he gave himself such rough treatment.
  "What should happen me?" replied Sancho, "but to have lost from
one hand to the other, in a moment, three ass-colts, each of them like
a castle?"
  "How is that?" said the barber.
  "I have lost the note-book," said Sancho, "that contained the letter
to Dulcinea, and an order signed by my master in which he directed his
niece to give me three ass-colts out of four or five he had at
home;" and he then told them about the loss of Dapple.
  The curate consoled him, telling him that when his master was
found he would get him to renew the order, and make a fresh draft on
paper, as was usual and customary; for those made in notebooks were
never accepted or honoured.
  Sancho comforted himself with this, and said if that were so the
loss of Dulcinea's letter did not trouble him much, for he had it
almost by heart, and it could be taken down from him wherever and
whenever they liked.
  "Repeat it then, Sancho," said the barber, "and we will write it
down afterwards."
  Sancho Panza stopped to scratch his head to bring back the letter to
his memory, and balanced himself now on one foot, now the other, one
moment staring at the ground, the next at the sky, and after having
half gnawed off the end of a finger and kept them in suspense
waiting for him to begin, he said, after a long pause, "By God,
senor licentiate, devil a thing can I recollect of the letter; but
it said at the beginning, 'Exalted and scrubbing Lady.'"
  "It cannot have said 'scrubbing,'" said the barber, "but
'superhuman' or 'sovereign.'"
  "That is it," said Sancho; "then, as well as I remember, it went on,
'The wounded, and wanting of sleep, and the pierced, kisses your
worship's hands, ungrateful and very unrecognised fair one; and it
said something or other about health and sickness that he was
sending her; and from that it went tailing off until it ended with
'Yours till death, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance."
  It gave them no little amusement, both of them, to see what a good
memory Sancho had, and they complimented him greatly upon it, and
begged him to repeat the letter a couple of times more, so that they
too might get it by heart to write it out by-and-by. Sancho repeated
it three times, and as he did, uttered three thousand more
absurdities; then he told them more about his master but he never said
a word about the blanketing that had befallen himself in that inn,
into which he refused to enter. He told them, moreover, how his
lord, if he brought him a favourable answer from the lady Dulcinea del
Toboso, was to put himself in the way of endeavouring to become an
emperor, or at least a monarch; for it had been so settled between
them, and with his personal worth and the might of his arm it was an
easy matter to come to be one: and how on becoming one his lord was to
make a marriage for him (for he would be a widower by that time, as
a matter of course) and was to give him as a wife one of the damsels
of the empress, the heiress of some rich and grand state on the
mainland, having nothing to do with islands of any sort, for he did
not care for them now. All this Sancho delivered with so much
composure- wiping his nose from time to time- and with so little
common-sense that his two hearers were again filled with wonder at the
force of Don Quixote's madness that could run away with this poor
man's reason. They did not care to take the trouble of disabusing
him of his error, as they considered that since it did not in any
way hurt his conscience it would be better to leave him in it, and
they would have all the more amusement in listening to his
simplicities; and so they bade him pray to God for his lord's
health, as it was a very likely and a very feasible thing for him in
course of time to come to be an emperor, as he said, or at least an
archbishop or some other dignitary of equal rank.
  To which Sancho made answer, "If fortune, sirs, should bring
things about in such a way that my master should have a mind,
instead of being an emperor, to be an archbishop, I should like to
know what archbishops-errant commonly give their squires?"
  "They commonly give them," said the curate, some simple benefice
or cure, or some place as sacristan which brings them a good fixed
income, not counting the altar fees, which may be reckoned at as
much more."
  "But for that," said Sancho, "the squire must be unmarried, and must
know, at any rate, how to help at mass, and if that be so, woe is
me, for I am married already and I don't know the first letter of
the A B C. What will become of me if my master takes a fancy to be
an archbishop and not an emperor, as is usual and customary with
knights-errant?"
  "Be not uneasy, friend Sancho," said the barber, "for we will
entreat your master, and advise him, even urging it upon him as a case
of conscience, to become an emperor and not an archbishop, because
it will be easier for him as he is more valiant than lettered."
  "So I have thought," said Sancho; "though I can tell you he is fit
for anything: what I mean to do for my part is to pray to our Lord
to place him where it may be best for him, and where he may be able to
bestow most favours upon me."
  "You speak like a man of sense," said the curate, "and you will be
acting like a good Christian; but what must now be done is to take
steps to coax your master out of that useless penance you say he is
performing; and we had best turn into this inn to consider what plan
to adopt, and also to dine, for it is now time."
  Sancho said they might go in, but that he would wait there
outside, and that he would tell them afterwards the reason why he
was unwilling, and why it did not suit him to enter it; but be
begged them to bring him out something to eat, and to let it be hot,
and also to bring barley for Rocinante. They left him and went in, and
presently the barber brought him out something to eat. By-and-by,
after they had between them carefully thought over what they should do
to carry out their object, the curate hit upon an idea very well
adapted to humour Don Quixote, and effect their purpose; and his
notion, which he explained to the barber, was that he himself should
assume the disguise of a wandering damsel, while the other should
try as best he could to pass for a squire, and that they should thus
proceed to where Don Quixote was, and he, pretending to be an
aggrieved and distressed damsel, should ask a favour of him, which
as a valiant knight-errant he could not refuse to grant; and the
favour he meant to ask him was that he should accompany her whither
she would conduct him, in order to redress a wrong which a wicked
knight had done her, while at the same time she should entreat him not
to require her to remove her mask, nor ask her any question touching
her circumstances until he had righted her with the wicked knight. And
he had no doubt that Don Quixote would comply with any request made in
these terms, and that in this way they might remove him and take him
to his own village, where they would endeavour to find out if his
extraordinary madness admitted of any kind of remedy.
  CHAPTER XXVII
  OF HOW THE CURATE AND THE BARBER PROCEEDED WITH THEIR SCHEME;
TOGETHER WITH OTHER MATTERS WORTHY OF RECORD IN THIS GREAT HISTORY

  THE curate's plan did not seem a bad one to the barber, but on the
contrary so good that they immediately set about putting it in
execution. They begged a petticoat and hood of the landlady, leaving
her in pledge a new cassock of the curate's; and the barber made a
beard out of a grey-brown or red ox-tail in which the landlord used to
stick his comb. The landlady asked them what they wanted these
things for, and the curate told her in a few words about the madness
of Don Quixote, and how this disguise was intended to get him away
from the mountain where he then was. The landlord and landlady
immediately came to the conclusion that the madman was their guest,
the balsam man and master of the blanketed squire, and they told the
curate all that had passed between him and them, not omitting what
Sancho had been so silent about. Finally the landlady dressed up the
curate in a style that left nothing to be desired; she put on him a
cloth petticoat with black velvet stripes a palm broad, all slashed,
and a bodice of green velvet set off by a binding of white satin,
which as well as the petticoat must have been made in the time of king
Wamba. The curate would not let them hood him, but put on his head a
little quilted linen cap which he used for a night-cap, and bound
his forehead with a strip of black silk, while with another he made
a mask with which he concealed his beard and face very well. He then
put on his hat, which was broad enough to serve him for an umbrella,
and enveloping himself in his cloak seated himself woman-fashion on
his mule, while the barber mounted his with a beard down to the
waist of mingled red and white, for it was, as has been said, the tail
of a clay-red ox.
  They took leave of all, and of the good Maritornes, who, sinner as
she was, promised to pray a rosary of prayers that God might grant
them success in such an arduous and Christian undertaking as that they
had in hand. But hardly had he sallied forth from the inn when it
struck the curate that he was doing wrong in rigging himself out in
that fashion, as it was an indecorous thing for a priest to dress
himself that way even though much might depend upon it; and saying
so to the barber he begged him to change dresses, as it was fitter
he should be the distressed damsel, while he himself would play the
squire's part, which would be less derogatory to his dignity;
otherwise he was resolved to have nothing more to do with the
matter, and let the devil take Don Quixote. Just at this moment Sancho
came up, and on seeing the pair in such a costume he was unable to
restrain his laughter; the barber, however, agreed to do as the curate
wished, and, altering their plan, the curate went on to instruct him
how to play his part and what to say to Don Quixote to induce and
compel him to come with them and give up his fancy for the place he
had chosen for his idle penance. The barber told him he could manage
it properly without any instruction, and as he did not care to dress
himself up until they were near where Don Quixote was, he folded up
the garments, and the curate adjusted his beard, and they set out
under the guidance of Sancho Panza, who went along telling them of the
encounter with the madman they met in the Sierra, saying nothing,
however, about the finding of the valise and its contents; for with
all his simplicity the lad was a trifle covetous.
  The next day they reached the place where Sancho had laid the
broom-branches as marks to direct him to where he had left his master,
and recognising it he told them that here was the entrance, and that
they would do well to dress themselves, if that was required to
deliver his master; for they had already told him that going in this
guise and dressing in this way were of the highest importance in order
to rescue his master from the pernicious life he had adopted; and they
charged him strictly not to tell his master who they were, or that
he knew them, and should he ask, as ask he would, if he had given
the letter to Dulcinea, to say that he had, and that, as she did not
know how to read, she had given an answer by word of mouth, saying
that she commanded him, on pain of her displeasure, to come and see
her at once; and it was a very important matter for himself, because
in this way and with what they meant to say to him they felt sure of
bringing him back to a better mode of life and inducing him to take
immediate steps to become an emperor or monarch, for there was no fear
of his becoming an archbishop. All this Sancho listened to and fixed
it well in his memory, and thanked them heartily for intending to
recommend his master to be an emperor instead of an archbishop, for he
felt sure that in the way of bestowing rewards on their squires
emperors could do more than archbishops-errant. He said, too, that
it would be as well for him to go on before them to find him, and give
him his lady's answer; for that perhaps might be enough to bring him
away from the place without putting them to all this trouble. They
approved of what Sancho proposed, and resolved to wait for him until
he brought back word of having found his master.
  Sancho pushed on into the glens of the Sierra, leaving them in one
through which there flowed a little gentle rivulet, and where the
rocks and trees afforded a cool and grateful shade. It was an August
day with all the heat of one, and the heat in those parts is
intense, and the hour was three in the afternoon, all which made the
spot the more inviting and tempted them to wait there for Sancho's
return, which they did. They were reposing, then, in the shade, when a
voice unaccompanied by the notes of any instrument, but sweet and
pleasing in its tone, reached their ears, at which they were not a
little astonished, as the place did not seem to them likely quarters
for one who sang so well; for though it is often said that shepherds
of rare voice are to be found in the woods and fields, this is
rather a flight of the poet's fancy than the truth. And still more
surprised were they when they perceived that what they heard sung were
the verses not of rustic shepherds, but of the polished wits of the
city; and so it proved, for the verses they heard were these:

     What makes my quest of happiness seem vain?
                  Disdain.
     What bids me to abandon hope of ease?
                  Jealousies.
     What holds my heart in anguish of suspense?
                  Absence.
       If that be so, then for my grief
       Where shall I turn to seek relief,
       When hope on every side lies slain
       By Absence, Jealousies, Disdain?

     What the prime cause of all my woe doth prove?
                  Love.
     What at my glory ever looks askance?
                  Chance.
     Whence is permission to afflict me given?
                  Heaven.
       If that be so, I but await
       The stroke of a resistless fate,
       Since, working for my woe, these three,
       Love, Chance and Heaven, in league I see.

     What must I do to find a remedy?
                  Die.
     What is the lure for love when coy and strange?
                  Change.
     What, if all fail, will cure the heart of sadness?
                  Madness.
       If that be so, it is but folly
       To seek a cure for melancholy:
       Ask where it lies; the answer saith
       In Change, in Madness, or in Death.

  The hour, the summer season, the solitary place, the voice and skill
of the singer, all contributed to the wonder and delight of the two
listeners, who remained still waiting to hear something more; finding,
however, that the silence continued some little time, they resolved to
go in search of the musician who sang with so fine a voice; but just
as they were about to do so they were checked by the same voice, which
once more fell upon their ears, singing this

                     SONNET

     When heavenward, holy Friendship, thou didst go
       Soaring to seek thy home beyond the sky,
       And take thy seat among the saints on high,
     It was thy will to leave on earth below
     Thy semblance, and upon it to bestow
       Thy veil, wherewith at times hypocrisy,
       Parading in thy shape, deceives the eye,
     And makes its vileness bright as virtue show.
     Friendship, return to us, or force the cheat
       That wears it now, thy livery to restore,
         By aid whereof sincerity is slain.
     If thou wilt not unmask thy counterfeit,
       This earth will be the prey of strife once more,
         As when primaeval discord held its reign.

  The song ended with a deep sigh, and again the listeners remained
waiting attentively for the singer to resume; but perceiving that
the music had now turned to sobs and heart-rending moans they
determined to find out who the unhappy being could be whose voice
was as rare as his sighs were piteous, and they had not proceeded
far when on turning the corner of a rock they discovered a man of
the same aspect and appearance as Sancho had described to them when he
told them the story of Cardenio. He, showing no astonishment when he
saw them, stood still with his head bent down upon his breast like one
in deep thought, without raising his eyes to look at them after the
first glance when they suddenly came upon him. The curate, who was
aware of his misfortune and recognised him by the description, being a
man of good address, approached him and in a few sensible words
entreated and urged him to quit a life of such misery, lest he
should end it there, which would be the greatest of all misfortunes.
Cardenio was then in his right mind, free from any attack of that
madness which so frequently carried him away, and seeing them
dressed in a fashion so unusual among the frequenters of those
wilds, could not help showing some surprise, especially when he
heard them speak of his case as if it were a well-known matter (for
the curate's words gave him to understand as much) so he replied to
them thus:
  "I see plainly, sirs, whoever you may be, that Heaven, whose care it
is to succour the good, and even the wicked very often, here, in
this remote spot, cut off from human intercourse, sends me, though I
deserve it not, those who seek to draw me away from this to some
better retreat, showing me by many and forcible arguments how
unreasonably I act in leading the life I do; but as they know, that if
I escape from this evil I shall fall into another still greater,
perhaps they will set me down as a weak-minded man, or, what is worse,
one devoid of reason; nor would it be any wonder, for I myself can
perceive that the effect of the recollection of my misfortunes is so
great and works so powerfully to my ruin, that in spite of myself I
become at times like a stone, without feeling or consciousness; and
I come to feel the truth of it when they tell me and show me proofs of
the things I have done when the terrible fit overmasters me; and all I
can do is bewail my lot in vain, and idly curse my destiny, and
plead for my madness by telling how it was caused, to any that care to
hear it; for no reasonable beings on learning the cause will wonder at
the effects; and if they cannot help me at least they will not blame
me, and the repugnance they feel at my wild ways will turn into pity
for my woes. If it be, sirs, that you are here with the same design as
others have come wah, before you proceed with your wise arguments, I
entreat you to hear the story of my countless misfortunes, for perhaps
when you have heard it you will spare yourselves the trouble you would
take in offering consolation to grief that is beyond the reach of it."
  As they, both of them, desired nothing more than to hear from his
own lips the cause of his suffering, they entreated him to tell it,
promising not to do anything for his relief or comfort that he did not
wish; and thereupon the unhappy gentleman began his sad story in
nearly the same words and manner in which he had related it to Don
Quixote and the goatherd a few days before, when, through Master
Elisabad, and Don Quixote's scrupulous observance of what was due to
chivalry, the tale was left unfinished, as this history has already
recorded; but now fortunately the mad fit kept off, allowed him to
tell it to the end; and so, coming to the incident of the note which
Don Fernando had found in the volume of "Amadis of Gaul," Cardenio
said that he remembered it perfectly and that it was in these words:

                 "Luscinda to Cardenio.

  "Every day I discover merits in you that oblige and compel me to
hold you in higher estimation; so if you desire to relieve me of
this obligation without cost to my honour, you may easily do so. I
have a father who knows you and loves me dearly, who without putting
any constraint on my inclination will grant what will be reasonable
for you to have, if it be that you value me as you say and as I
believe you do."

  "By this letter I was induced, as I told you, to demand Luscinda for
my wife, and it was through it that Luscinda came to be regarded by
Don Fernando as one of the most discreet and prudent women of the day,
and this letter it was that suggested his design of ruining me
before mine could be carried into effect. I told Don Fernando that all
Luscinda's father was waiting for was that mine should ask her of him,
which I did not dare to suggest to him, fearing that he would not
consent to do so; not because he did not know perfectly well the rank,
goodness, virtue, and beauty of Luscinda, and that she had qualities
that would do honour to any family in Spain, but because I was aware
that he did not wish me to marry so soon, before seeing what the
Duke Ricardo would do for me. In short, I told him I did not venture
to mention it to my father, as well on account of that difficulty,
as of many others that discouraged me though I knew not well what they
were, only that it seemed to me that what I desired was never to
come to pass. To all this Don Fernando answered that he would take
it upon himself to speak to my father, and persuade him to speak to
Luscinda's father. O, ambitious Marius! O, cruel Catiline! O, wicked
Sylla! O, perfidious Ganelon! O, treacherous Vellido! O, vindictive
Julian! O, covetous Judas! Traitor, cruel, vindictive, and perfidious,
wherein had this poor wretch failed in his fidelity, who with such
frankness showed thee the secrets and the joys of his heart? What
offence did I commit? What words did I utter, or what counsels did I
give that had not the furtherance of thy honour and welfare for
their aim? But, woe is me, wherefore do I complain? for sure it is
that when misfortunes spring from the stars, descending from on high
they fall upon us with such fury and violence that no power on earth
can check their course nor human device stay their coming. Who could
have thought that Don Fernando, a highborn gentleman, intelligent,
bound to me by gratitude for my services, one that could win the
object of his love wherever he might set his affections, could have
become so obdurate, as they say, as to rob me of my one ewe lamb
that was not even yet in my possession? But laying aside these useless
and unavailing reflections, let us take up the broken thread of my
unhappy story.
  "To proceed, then: Don Fernando finding my presence an obstacle to
the execution of his treacherous and wicked design, resolved to send
me to his elder brother under the pretext of asking money from him
to pay for six horses which, purposely, and with the sole object of
sending me away that he might the better carry out his infernal
scheme, he had purchased the very day he offered to speak to my
father, and the price of which he now desired me to fetch. Could I
have anticipated this treachery? Could I by any chance have
suspected it? Nay; so far from that, I offered with the greatest
pleasure to go at once, in my satisfaction at the good bargain that
had been made. That night I spoke with Luscinda, and told her what had
been agreed upon with Don Fernando, and how I had strong hopes of
our fair and reasonable wishes being realised. She, as unsuspicious as
I was of the treachery of Don Fernando, bade me try to return
speedily, as she believed the fulfilment of our desires would be
delayed only so long as my father put off speaking to hers. I know not
why it was that on saying this to me her eyes filled with tears, and
there came a lump in her throat that prevented her from uttering a
word of many more that it seemed to me she was striving to say to
me. I was astonished at this unusual turn, which I never before
observed in her. for we always conversed, whenever good fortune and my
ingenuity gave us the chance, with the greatest gaiety and
cheerfulness, mingling tears, sighs, jealousies, doubts, or fears with
our words; it was all on my part a eulogy of my good fortune that
Heaven should have given her to me for my mistress; I glorified her
beauty, I extolled her worth and her understanding; and she paid me
back by praising in me what in her love for me she thought worthy of
praise; and besides we had a hundred thousand trifles and doings of
our neighbours and acquaintances to talk about, and the utmost
extent of my boldness was to take, almost by force, one of her fair
white hands and carry it to my lips, as well as the closeness of the
low grating that separated us allowed me. But the night before the
unhappy day of my departure she wept, she moaned, she sighed, and
she withdrew leaving me filled with perplexity and amazement,
overwhelmed at the sight of such strange and affecting signs of
grief and sorrow in Luscinda; but not to dash my hopes I ascribed it
all to the depth of her love for me and the pain that separation gives
those who love tenderly. At last I took my departure, sad and
dejected, my heart filled with fancies and suspicions, but not knowing
well what it was I suspected or fancied; plain omens pointing to the
sad event and misfortune that was awaiting me.
  "I reached the place whither I had been sent, gave the letter to Don
Fernando's brother, and was kindly received but not promptly
dismissed, for he desired me to wait, very much against my will, eight
days in some place where the duke his father was not likely to see me,
as his brother wrote that the money was to be sent without his
knowledge; all of which was a scheme of the treacherous Don
Fernando, for his brother had no want of money to enable him to
despatch me at once.
  "The command was one that exposed me to the temptation of disobeying
it, as it seemed to me impossible to endure life for so many days
separated from Luscinda, especially after leaving her in the sorrowful
mood I have described to you; nevertheless as a dutiful servant I
obeyed, though I felt it would be at the cost of my well-being. But
four days later there came a man in quest of me with a letter which he
gave me, and which by the address I perceived to be from Luscinda,
as the writing was hers. I opened it with fear and trepidation,
persuaded that it must be something serious that had impelled her to
write to me when at a distance, as she seldom did so when I was
near. Before reading it I asked the man who it was that had given it
to him, and how long he had been upon the road; he told me that as
he happened to be passing through one of the streets of the city at
the hour of noon, a very beautiful lady called to him from a window,
and with tears in her eyes said to him hurriedly, 'Brother, if you
are, as you seem to be, a Christian, for the love of God I entreat you
to have this letter despatched without a moment's delay to the place
and person named in the address, all which is well known, and by
this you will render a great service to our Lord; and that you may
be at no inconvenience in doing so take what is in this handkerchief;'
and said he, 'with this she threw me a handkerchief out of the
window in which were tied up a hundred reals and this gold ring
which I bring here together with the letter I have given you. And then
without waiting for any answer she left the window, though not
before she saw me take the letter and the handkerchief, and I had by
signs let her know that I would do as she bade me; and so, seeing
myself so well paid for the trouble I would have in bringing it to
you, and knowing by the address that it was to you it was sent (for,
senor, I know you very well), and also unable to resist that beautiful
lady's tears, I resolved to trust no one else, but to come myself
and give it to you, and in sixteen hours from the time when it was
given me I have made the journey, which, as you know, is eighteen
leagues.'
  "All the while the good-natured improvised courier was telling me
this, I hung upon his words, my legs trembling under me so that I
could scarcely stand. However, I opened the letter and read these
words:

  "'The promise Don Fernando gave you to urge your father to speak
to mine, he has fulfilled much more to his own satisfaction than to
your advantage. I have to tell you, senor, that be has demanded me for
a wife, and my father, led away by what he considers Don Fernando's
superiority over you, has favoured his suit so cordially, that in
two days hence the betrothal is to take place with such secrecy and so
privately that the only witnesses are to be the Heavens above and a
few of the household. Picture to yourself the state I am in; judge
if it be urgent for you to come; the issue of the affair will show you
whether I love you or not. God grant this may come to your hand before
mine shall be forced to link itself with his who keeps so ill the
faith that he has pledged.'

  "Such, in brief, were the words of the letter, words that made me
set out at once without waiting any longer for reply or money; for I
now saw clearly that it was not the purchase of horses but of his
own pleasure that had made Don Fernando send me to his brother. The
exasperation I felt against Don Fernando, joined with the fear of
losing the prize I had won by so many years of love and devotion, lent
me wings; so that almost flying I reached home the same day, by the
hour which served for speaking with Luscinda. I arrived unobserved,
and left the mule on which I had come at the house of the worthy man
who had brought me the letter, and fortune was pleased to be for
once so kind that I found Luscinda at the grating that was the witness
of our loves. She recognised me at once, and I her, but not as she
ought to have recognised me, or I her. But who is there in the world
that can boast of having fathomed or understood the wavering mind
and unstable nature of a woman? Of a truth no one. To proceed: as soon
as Luscinda saw me she said, 'Cardenio, I am in my bridal dress, and
the treacherous Don Fernando and my covetous father are waiting for me
in the hall with the other witnesses, who shall be the witnesses of my
death before they witness my betrothal. Be not distressed, my
friend, but contrive to be present at this sacrifice, and if that
cannot be prevented by my words, I have a dagger concealed which
will prevent more deliberate violence, putting an end to my life and
giving thee a first proof of the love I have borne and bear thee.' I
replied to her distractedly and hastily, in fear lest I should not
have time to reply, 'May thy words be verified by thy deeds, lady; and
if thou hast a dagger to save thy honour, I have a sword to defend
thee or kill myself if fortune be against us.'
  "I think she could not have heard all these words, for I perceived
that they called her away in haste, as the bridegroom was waiting. Now
the night of my sorrow set in, the sun of my happiness went down, I
felt my eyes bereft of sight, my mind of reason. I could not enter the
house, nor was I capable of any movement; but reflecting how important
it was that I should be present at what might take place on the
occasion, I nerved myself as best I could and went in, for I well knew
all the entrances and outlets; and besides, with the confusion that in
secret pervaded the house no one took notice of me, so, without
being seen, I found an opportunity of placing myself in the recess
formed by a window of the hall itself, and concealed by the ends and
borders of two tapestries, from between which I could, without being
seen, see all that took place in the room. Who could describe the
agitation of heart I suffered as I stood there- the thoughts that came
to me- the reflections that passed through my mind? They were such
as cannot be, nor were it well they should be, told. Suffice it to say
that the bridegroom entered the hall in his usual dress, without
ornament of any kind; as groomsman he had with him a cousin of
Luscinda's and except the servants of the house there was no one
else in the chamber. Soon afterwards Luscinda came out from an
antechamber, attended by her mother and two of her damsels, arrayed
and adorned as became her rank and beauty, and in full festival and
ceremonial attire. My anxiety and distraction did not allow me to
observe or notice particularly what she wore; I could only perceive
the colours, which were crimson and white, and the glitter of the gems
and jewels on her head dress and apparel, surpassed by the rare beauty
of her lovely auburn hair that vying with the precious stones and
the light of the four torches that stood in the hall shone with a
brighter gleam than all. Oh memory, mortal foe of my peace! why
bring before me now the incomparable beauty of that adored enemy of
mine? Were it not better, cruel memory, to remind me and recall what
she then did, that stirred by a wrong so glaring I may seek, if not
vengeance now, at least to rid myself of life? Be not weary, sirs,
of listening to these digressions; my sorrow is not one of those
that can or should be told tersely and briefly, for to me each
incident seems to call for many words."
  To this the curate replied that not only were they not weary of
listening to him, but that the details he mentioned interested them
greatly, being of a kind by no means to be omitted and deserving of
the same attention as the main story.
  "To proceed, then," continued Cardenio: "all being assembled in
the hall, the priest of the parish came in and as he took the pair
by the hand to perform the requisite ceremony, at the words, 'Will
you, Senora Luscinda, take Senor Don Fernando, here present, for
your lawful husband, as the holy Mother Church ordains?' I thrust my
head and neck out from between the tapestries, and with eager ears and
throbbing heart set myself to listen to Luscinda's answer, awaiting in
her reply the sentence of death or the grant of life. Oh, that I had
but dared at that moment to rush forward crying aloud, 'Luscinda,
Luscinda! have a care what thou dost; remember what thou owest me;
bethink thee thou art mine and canst not be another's; reflect that
thy utterance of "Yes" and the end of my life will come at the same
instant. O, treacherous Don Fernando! robber of my glory, death of
my life! What seekest thou? Remember that thou canst not as a
Christian attain the object of thy wishes, for Luscinda is my bride,
and I am her husband!' Fool that I am! now that I am far away, and out
of danger, I say I should have done what I did not do: now that I have
allowed my precious treasure to be robbed from me, I curse the robber,
on whom I might have taken vengeance had I as much heart for it as I
have for bewailing my fate; in short, as I was then a coward and a
fool, little wonder is it if I am now dying shame-stricken,
remorseful, and mad.
  "The priest stood waiting for the answer of Luscinda, who for a long
time withheld it; and just as I thought she was taking out the
dagger to save her honour, or struggling for words to make some
declaration of the truth on my behalf, I heard her say in a faint
and feeble voice, 'I will:' Don Fernando said the same, and giving her
the ring they stood linked by a knot that could never be loosed. The
bridegroom then approached to embrace his bride; and she, pressing her
hand upon her heart, fell fainting in her mother's arms. It only
remains now for me to tell you the state I was in when in that consent
that I heard I saw all my hopes mocked, the words and promises of
Luscinda proved falsehoods, and the recovery of the prize I had that
instant lost rendered impossible for ever. I stood stupefied, wholly
abandoned, it seemed, by Heaven, declared the enemy of the earth
that bore me, the air refusing me breath for my sighs, the water
moisture for my tears; it was only the fire that gathered strength
so that my whole frame glowed with rage and jealousy. They were all
thrown into confusion by Luscinda's fainting, and as her mother was
unlacing her to give her air a sealed paper was discovered in her
bosom which Don Fernando seized at once and began to read by the light
of one of the torches. As soon as he had read it he seated himself
in a chair, leaning his cheek on his hand in the attitude of one
deep in thought, without taking any part in the efforts that were
being made to recover his bride from her fainting fit.
  "Seeing all the household in confusion, I ventured to come out
regardless whether I were seen or not, and determined, if I were, to
do some frenzied deed that would prove to all the world the
righteous indignation of my breast in the punishment of the
treacherous Don Fernando, and even in that of the fickle fainting
traitress. But my fate, doubtless reserving me for greater sorrows, if
such there be, so ordered it that just then I had enough and to
spare of that reason which has since been wanting to me; and so,
without seeking to take vengeance on my greatest enemies (which
might have been easily taken, as all thought of me was so far from
their minds), I resolved to take it upon myself, and on myself to
inflict the pain they deserved, perhaps with even greater severity
than I should have dealt out to them had I then slain them; for sudden
pain is soon over, but that which is protracted by tortures is ever
slaying without ending life. In a word, I quitted the house and
reached that of the man with whom I had left my mule; I made him
saddle it for me, mounted without bidding him farewell, and rode out
of the city, like another Lot, not daring to turn my head to look back
upon it; and when I found myself alone in the open country, screened
by the darkness of the night, and tempted by the stillness to give
vent to my grief without apprehension or fear of being heard or
seen, then I broke silence and lifted up my voice in maledictions upon
Luscinda and Don Fernando, as if I could thus avenge the wrong they
had done me. I called her cruel, ungrateful, false, thankless, but
above all covetous, since the wealth of my enemy had blinded the
eyes of her affection, and turned it from me to transfer it to one
to whom fortune had been more generous and liberal. And yet, in the
midst of this outburst of execration and upbraiding, I found excuses
for her, saying it was no wonder that a young girl in the seclusion of
her parents' house, trained and schooled to obey them always, should
have been ready to yield to their wishes when they offered her for a
husband a gentleman of such distinction, wealth, and noble birth, that
if she had refused to accept him she would have been thought out of
her senses, or to have set her affection elsewhere, a suspicion
injurious to her fair name and fame. But then again, I said, had she
declared I was her husband, they would have seen that in choosing me
she had not chosen so ill but that they might excuse her, for before
Don Fernando had made his offer, they themselves could not have
desired, if their desires had been ruled by reason, a more eligible
husband for their daughter than I was; and she, before taking the last
fatal step of giving her hand, might easily have said that I had
already given her mine, for I should have come forward to support
any assertion of hers to that effect. In short, I came to the
conclusion that feeble love, little reflection, great ambition, and
a craving for rank, had made her forget the words with which she had
deceived me, encouraged and supported by my firm hopes and
honourable passion.
  "Thus soliloquising and agitated, I journeyed onward for the
remainder of the night, and by daybreak I reached one of the passes of
these mountains, among which I wandered for three days more without
taking any path or road, until I came to some meadows lying on I
know not which side of the mountains, and there I inquired of some
herdsmen in what direction the most rugged part of the range lay. They
told me that it was in this quarter, and I at once directed my
course hither, intending to end my life here; but as I was making my
way among these crags, my mule dropped dead through fatigue and
hunger, or, as I think more likely, in order to have done with such
a worthless burden as it bore in me. I was left on foot, worn out,
famishing, without anyone to help me or any thought of seeking help:
and so thus I lay stretched on the ground, how long I know not,
after which I rose up free from hunger, and found beside me some
goatherds, who no doubt were the persons who had relieved me in my
need, for they told me how they had found me, and how I had been
uttering ravings that showed plainly I had lost my reason; and since
then I am conscious that I am not always in full possession of it, but
at times so deranged and crazed that I do a thousand mad things,
tearing my clothes, crying aloud in these solitudes, cursing my
fate, and idly calling on the dear name of her who is my enemy, and
only seeking to end my life in lamentation; and when I recover my
senses I find myself so exhausted and weary that I can scarcely
move. Most commonly my dwelling is the hollow of a cork tree large
enough to shelter this miserable body; the herdsmen and goatherds
who frequent these mountains, moved by compassion, furnish me with
food, leaving it by the wayside or on the rocks, where they think I
may perhaps pass and find it; and so, even though I may be then out of
my senses, the wants of nature teach me what is required to sustain
me, and make me crave it and eager to take it. At other times, so they
tell me when they find me in a rational mood, I sally out upon the
road, and though they would gladly give it me, I snatch food by
force from the shepherds bringing it from the village to their huts.
Thus do pass the wretched life that remains to me, until it be
Heaven's will to bring it to a close, or so to order my memory that
I no longer recollect the beauty and treachery of Luscinda, or the
wrong done me by Don Fernando; for if it will do this without
depriving me of life, I will turn my thoughts into some better
channel; if not, I can only implore it to have full mercy on my
soul, for in myself I feel no power or strength to release my body
from this strait in which I have of my own accord chosen to place it.
  "Such, sirs, is the dismal story of my misfortune: say if it be
one that can be told with less emotion than you have seen in me; and
do not trouble yourselves with urging or pressing upon me what
reason suggests as likely to serve for my relief, for it will avail me
as much as the medicine prescribed by a wise physician avails the sick
man who will not take it. I have no wish for health without
Luscinda; and since it is her pleasure to be another's, when she is or
should be mine, let it be mine to be a prey to misery when I might
have enjoyed happiness. She by her fickleness strove to make my ruin
irretrievable; I will strive to gratify her wishes by seeking
destruction; and it will show generations to come that I alone was
deprived of that of which all others in misfortune have a
superabundance, for to them the impossibility of being consoled is
itself a consolation, while to me it is the cause of greater sorrows
and sufferings, for I think that even in death there will not be an
end of them."
  Here Cardenio brought to a close his long discourse and story, as
full of misfortune as it was of love; but just as the curate was going
to address some words of comfort to him, he was stopped by a voice
that reached his ear, saying in melancholy tones what will be told
in the Fourth Part of this narrative; for at this point the sage and
sagacious historian, Cide Hamete Benengeli, brought the Third to a
conclusion.
  CHAPTER XXVIII
  WHICH TREATS OF THE STRANGE AND DELIGHTFUL ADVENTURE THAT BEFELL THE
CURATE AND THE BARBER IN THE SAME SIERRA

  HAPPY and fortunate were the times when that most daring knight
Don Quixote of La Mancha was sent into the world; for by reason of his
having formed a resolution so honourable as that of seeking to
revive and restore to the world the long-lost and almost defunct order
of knight-errantry, we now enjoy in this age of ours, so poor in light
entertainment, not only the charm of his veracious history, but also
of the tales and episodes contained in it which are, in a measure,
no less pleasing, ingenious, and truthful, than the history itself;
which, resuming its thread, carded, spun, and wound, relates that just
as the curate was going to offer consolation to Cardenio, he was
interrupted by a voice that fell upon his ear saying in plaintive
tones:
  "O God! is it possible I have found a place that may serve as a
secret grave for the weary load of this body that I support so
unwillingly? If the solitude these mountains promise deceives me
not, it is so; ah! woe is me! how much more grateful to my mind will
be the society of these rocks and brakes that permit me to complain of
my misfortune to Heaven, than that of any human being, for there is
none on earth to look to for counsel in doubt, comfort in sorrow, or
relief in distress!"
  All this was heard distinctly by the curate and those with him,
and as it seemed to them to be uttered close by, as indeed it was,
they got up to look for the speaker, and before they had gone twenty
paces they discovered behind a rock, seated at the foot of an ash
tree, a youth in the dress of a peasant, whose face they were unable
at the moment to see as he was leaning forward, bathing his feet in
the brook that flowed past. They approached so silently that he did
not perceive them, being fully occupied in bathing his feet, which
were so fair that they looked like two pieces of shining crystal
brought forth among the other stones of the brook. The whiteness and
beauty of these feet struck them with surprise, for they did not
seem to have been made to crush clods or to follow the plough and
the oxen as their owner's dress suggested; and so, finding they had
not been noticed, the curate, who was in front, made a sign to the
other two to conceal themselves behind some fragments of rock that lay
there; which they did, observing closely what the youth was about.
He had on a loose double-skirted dark brown jacket bound tight to
his body with a white cloth; he wore besides breeches and gaiters of
brown cloth, and on his head a brown montera; and he had the gaiters
turned up as far as the middle of the leg, which verily seemed to be
of pure alabaster.
  As soon as he had done bathing his beautiful feet, he wiped them
with a towel he took from under the montera, on taking off which he
raised his face, and those who were watching him had an opportunity of
seeing a beauty so exquisite that Cardenio said to the curate in a
whisper:
  "As this is not Luscinda, it is no human creature but a divine
being."
  The youth then took off the montera, and shaking his head from
side to side there broke loose and spread out a mass of hair that
the beams of the sun might have envied; by this they knew that what
had seemed a peasant was a lovely woman, nay the most beautiful the
eyes of two of them had ever beheld, or even Cardenio's if they had
not seen and known Luscinda, for he afterwards declared that only
the beauty of Luscinda could compare with this. The long auburn
tresses not only covered her shoulders, but such was their length
and abundance, concealed her all round beneath their masses, so that
except the feet nothing of her form was visible. She now used her
hands as a comb, and if her feet had seemed like bits of crystal in
the water, her hands looked like pieces of driven snow among her
locks; all which increased not only the admiration of the three
beholders, but their anxiety to learn who she was. With this object
they resolved to show themselves, and at the stir they made in getting
upon their feet the fair damsel raised her head, and parting her
hair from before her eyes with both hands, she looked to see who had
made the noise, and the instant she perceived them she started to
her feet, and without waiting to put on her shoes or gather up her
hair, hastily snatched up a bundle as though of clothes that she had
beside her, and, scared and alarmed, endeavoured to take flight; but
before she had gone six paces she fell to the ground, her delicate
feet being unable to bear the roughness of the stones; seeing which,
the three hastened towards her, and the curate addressing her first
said:
  "Stay, senora, whoever you may be, for those whom you see here
only desire to be of service to you; you have no need to attempt a
flight so heedless, for neither can your feet bear it, nor we allow
it."
  Taken by surprise and bewildered, she made no reply to these
words. They, however, came towards her, and the curate taking her hand
went on to say:
  "What your dress would hide, senora, is made known to us by your
hair; a clear proof that it can be no trifling cause that has
disguised your beauty in a garb so unworthy of it, and sent it into
solitudes like these where we have had the good fortune to find you,
if not to relieve your distress, at least to offer you comfort; for no
distress, so long as life lasts, can be so oppressive or reach such
a height as to make the sufferer refuse to listen to comfort offered
with good intention. And so, senora, or senor, or whatever you
prefer to be, dismiss the fears that our appearance has caused you and
make us acquainted with your good or evil fortunes, for from all of us
together, or from each one of us, you will receive sympathy in your
trouble."
  While the curate was speaking, the disguised damsel stood as if
spell-bound, looking at them without opening her lips or uttering a
word, just like a village rustic to whom something strange that he has
never seen before has been suddenly shown; but on the curate
addressing some further words to the same effect to her, sighing
deeply she broke silence and said:
  "Since the solitude of these mountains has been unable to conceal
me, and the escape of my dishevelled tresses will not allow my
tongue to deal in falsehoods, it would be idle for me now to make
any further pretence of what, if you were to believe me, you would
believe more out of courtesy than for any other reason. This being so,
I say I thank you, sirs, for the offer you have made me, which
places me under the obligation of complying with the request you
have made of me; though I fear the account I shall give you of my
misfortunes will excite in you as much concern as compassion, for
you will be unable to suggest anything to remedy them or any
consolation to alleviate them. However, that my honour may not be left
a matter of doubt in your minds, now that you have discovered me to be
a woman, and see that I am young, alone, and in this dress, things
that taken together or separately would be enough to destroy any
good name, I feel bound to tell what I would willingly keep secret
if I could."
  All this she who was now seen to be a lovely woman delivered without
any hesitation, with so much ease and in so sweet a voice that they
were not less charmed by her intelligence than by her beauty, and as
they again repeated their offers and entreaties to her to fulfil her
promise, she without further pressing, first modestly covering her
feet and gathering up her hair, seated herself on a stone with the
three placed around her, and, after an effort to restrain some tears
that came to her eyes, in a clear and steady voice began her story
thus:
  "In this Andalusia there is a town from which a duke takes a title
which makes him one of those that are called Grandees of Spain. This
nobleman has two sons, the elder heir to his dignity and apparently to
his good qualities; the younger heir to I know not what, unless it
be the treachery of Vellido and the falsehood of Ganelon. My parents
are this lord's vassals, lowly in origin, but so wealthy that if birth
had conferred as much on them as fortune, they would have had
nothing left to desire, nor should I have had reason to fear trouble
like that in which I find myself now; for it may be that my ill
fortune came of theirs in not having been nobly born. It is true
they are not so low that they have any reason to be ashamed of their
condition, but neither are they so high as to remove from my mind
the impression that my mishap comes of their humble birth. They are,
in short, peasants, plain homely people, without any taint of
disreputable blood, and, as the saying is, old rusty Christians, but
so rich that by their wealth and free-handed way of life they are
coming by degrees to be considered gentlefolk by birth, and even by
position; though the wealth and nobility they thought most of was
having me for their daughter; and as they have no other child to
make their heir, and are affectionate parents, I was one of the most
indulged daughters that ever parents indulged.
  "I was the mirror in which they beheld themselves, the staff of
their old age, and the object in which, with submission to Heaven, all
their wishes centred, and mine were in accordance with theirs, for I
knew their worth; and as I was mistress of their hearts, so was I also
of their possessions. Through me they engaged or dismissed their
servants; through my hands passed the accounts and returns of what was
sown and reaped; the oil-mills, the wine-presses, the count of the
flocks and herds, the beehives, all in short that a rich farmer like
my father has or can have, I had under my care, and I acted as steward
and mistress with an assiduity on my part and satisfaction on theirs
that I cannot well describe to you. The leisure hours left to me after
I had given the requisite orders to the head-shepherds, overseers, and
other labourers, I passed in such employments as are not only
allowable but necessary for young girls, those that the needle,
embroidery cushion, and spinning wheel usually afford, and if to
refresh my mind I quitted them for a while, I found recreation in
reading some devotional book or playing the harp, for experience
taught me that music soothes the troubled mind and relieves
weariness of spirit. Such was the life I led in my parents' house
and if I have depicted it thus minutely, it is not out of ostentation,
or to let you know that I am rich, but that you may see how, without
any fault of mine, I have fallen from the happy condition I have
described, to the misery I am in at present. The truth is, that
while I was leading this busy life, in a retirement that might compare
with that of a monastery, and unseen as I thought by any except the
servants of the house (for when I went to Mass it was so early in
the morning, and I was so closely attended by my mother and the
women of the household, and so thickly veiled and so shy, that my eyes
scarcely saw more ground than I trod on), in spite of all this, the
eyes of love, or idleness, more properly speaking, that the lynx's
cannot rival, discovered me, with the help of the assiduity of Don
Fernando; for that is the name of the younger son of the duke I told
of."
  The moment the speaker mentioned the name of Don Fernando,
Cardenio changed colour and broke into a sweat, with such signs of
emotion that the curate and the barber, who observed it, feared that
one of the mad fits which they heard attacked him sometimes was coming
upon him; but Cardenio showed no further agitation and remained quiet,
regarding the peasant girl with fixed attention, for he began to
suspect who she was. She, however, without noticing the excitement
of Cardenio, continuing her story, went on to say:
  "And they had hardly discovered me, when, as he owned afterwards, he
was smitten with a violent love for me, as the manner in which it
displayed itself plainly showed. But to shorten the long recital of my
woes, I will pass over in silence all the artifices employed by Don
Fernando for declaring his passion for me. He bribed all the
household, he gave and offered gifts and presents to my parents; every
day was like a holiday or a merry-making in our street; by night no
one could sleep for the music; the love letters that used to come to
my hand, no one knew how, were innumerable, full of tender pleadings
and pledges, containing more promises and oaths than there were
letters in them; all which not only did not soften me, but hardened my
heart against him, as if he had been my mortal enemy, and as if
everything he did to make me yield were done with the opposite
intention. Not that the high-bred bearing of Don Fernando was
disagreeable to me, or that I found his importunities wearisome; for
it gave me a certain sort of satisfaction to find myself so sought and
prized by a gentleman of such distinction, and I was not displeased at
seeing my praises in his letters (for however ugly we women may be, it
seems to me it always pleases us to hear ourselves called beautiful)
but that my own sense of right was opposed to all this, as well as the
repeated advice of my parents, who now very plainly perceived Don
Fernando's purpose, for he cared very little if all the world knew it.
They told me they trusted and confided their honour and good name to
my virtue and rectitude alone, and bade me consider the disparity
between Don Fernando and myself, from which I might conclude that
his intentions, whatever he might say to the contrary, had for their
aim his own pleasure rather than my advantage; and if I were at all
desirous of opposing an obstacle to his unreasonable suit, they were
ready, they said, to marry me at once to anyone I preferred, either
among the leading people of our own town, or of any of those in the
neighbourhood; for with their wealth and my good name, a match might
be looked for in any quarter. This offer, and their sound advice
strengthened my resolution, and I never gave Don Fernando a word in
reply that could hold out to him any hope of success, however remote.
  "All this caution of mine, which he must have taken for coyness, had
apparently the effect of increasing his wanton appetite- for that is
the name I give to his passion for me; had it been what he declared it
to be, you would not know of it now, because there would have been
no occasion to tell you of it. At length he learned that my parents
were contemplating marriage for me in order to put an end to his hopes
of obtaining possession of me, or at least to secure additional
protectors to watch over me, and this intelligence or suspicion made
him act as you shall hear. One night, as I was in my chamber with no
other companion than a damsel who waited on me, with the doors
carefully locked lest my honour should be imperilled through any
carelessness, I know not nor can conceive how it happened, but, with
all this seclusion and these precautions, and in the solitude and
silence of my retirement, I found him standing before me, a vision
that so astounded me that it deprived my eyes of sight, and my
tongue of speech. I had no power to utter a cry, nor, I think, did
he give me time to utter one, as he immediately approached me, and
taking me in his arms (for, overwhelmed as I was, I was powerless, I
say, to help myself), he began to make such professions to me that I
know not how falsehood could have had the power of dressing them up to
seem so like truth; and the traitor contrived that his tears should
vouch for his words, and his sighs for his sincerity.
  "I, a poor young creature alone, ill versed among my people in cases
such as this, began, I know not how, to think all these lying
protestations true, though without being moved by his sighs and
tears to anything more than pure compassion; and so, as the first
feeling of bewilderment passed away, and I began in some degree to
recover myself, I said to him with more courage than I thought I could
have possessed, 'If, as I am now in your arms, senor, I were in the
claws of a fierce lion, and my deliverance could be procured by
doing or saying anything to the prejudice of my honour, it would no
more be in my power to do it or say it, than it would be possible that
what was should not have been; so then, if you hold my body clasped in
your arms, I hold my soul secured by virtuous intentions, very
different from yours, as you will see if you attempt to carry them
into effect by force. I am your vassal, but I am not your slave;
your nobility neither has nor should have any right to dishonour or
degrade my humble birth; and low-born peasant as I am, I have my
self-respect as much as you, a lord and gentleman: with me your
violence will be to no purpose, your wealth will have no weight,
your words will have no power to deceive me, nor your sighs or tears
to soften me: were I to see any of the things I speak of in him whom
my parents gave me as a husband, his will should be mine, and mine
should be bounded by his; and my honour being preserved even though my
inclinations were not would willingly yield him what you, senor, would
now obtain by force; and this I say lest you should suppose that any
but my lawful husband shall ever win anything of me.' 'If that,'
said this disloyal gentleman, 'be the only scruple you feel, fairest
Dorothea' (for that is the name of this unhappy being), 'see here I
give you my hand to be yours, and let Heaven, from which nothing is
hid, and this image of Our Lady you have here, be witnesses of this
pledge.'"
  When Cardenio heard her say she was called Dorothea, he showed fresh
agitation and felt convinced of the truth of his former suspicion, but
he was unwilling to interrupt the story, and wished to hear the end of
what he already all but knew, so he merely said:
  "What! is Dorothea your name, senora? I have heard of another of the
same name who can perhaps match your misfortunes. But proceed;
by-and-by I may tell you something that will astonish you as much as
it will excite your compassion."
  Dorothea was struck by Cardenio's words as well as by his strange
and miserable attire, and begged him if he knew anything concerning
her to tell it to her at once, for if fortune had left her any
blessing it was courage to bear whatever calamity might fall upon her,
as she felt sure that none could reach her capable of increasing in
any degree what she endured already.
  "I would not let the occasion pass, senora," replied Cardenio, "of
telling you what I think, if what I suspect were the truth, but so far
there has been no opportunity, nor is it of any importance to you to
know it."
  "Be it as it may," replied Dorothea, "what happened in my story
was that Don Fernando, taking an image that stood in the chamber,
placed it as a witness of our betrothal, and with the most binding
words and extravagant oaths gave me his promise to become my
husband; though before he had made an end of pledging himself I bade
him consider well what he was doing, and think of the anger his father
would feel at seeing him married to a peasant girl and one of his
vassals; I told him not to let my beauty, such as it was, blind him,
for that was not enough to furnish an excuse for his transgression;
and if in the love he bore me he wished to do me any kindness, it
would be to leave my lot to follow its course at the level my
condition required; for marriages so unequal never brought
happiness, nor did they continue long to afford the enjoyment they
began with.
  "All this that I have now repeated I said to him, and much more
which I cannot recollect; but it had no effect in inducing him to
forego his purpose; he who has no intention of paying does not trouble
himself about difficulties when he is striking the bargain. At the
same time I argued the matter briefly in my own mind, saying to
myself, 'I shall not be the first who has risen through marriage
from a lowly to a lofty station, nor will Don Fernando be the first
whom beauty or, as is more likely, a blind attachment, has led to mate
himself below his rank. Then, since I am introducing no new usage or
practice, I may as well avail myself of the honour that chance
offers me, for even though his inclination for me should not outlast
the attainment of his wishes, I shall be, after all, his wife before
God. And if I strive to repel him by scorn, I can see that, fair means
failing, he is in a mood to use force, and I shall be left dishonoured
and without any means of proving my innocence to those who cannot know
how innocently I have come to be in this position; for what
arguments would persuade my parents that this gentleman entered my
chamber without my consent?'
  "All these questions and answers passed through my mind in a moment;
but the oaths of Don Fernando, the witnesses he appealed to, the tears
he shed, and lastly the charms of his person and his high-bred
grace, which, accompanied by such signs of genuine love, might well
have conquered a heart even more free and coy than mine- these were
the things that more than all began to influence me and lead me
unawares to my ruin. I called my waiting-maid to me, that there
might be a witness on earth besides those in Heaven, and again Don
Fernando renewed and repeated his oaths, invoked as witnesses fresh
saints in addition to the former ones, called down upon himself a
thousand curses hereafter should he fail to keep his promise, shed
more tears, redoubled his sighs and pressed me closer in his arms,
from which he had never allowed me to escape; and so I was left by
my maid, and ceased to be one, and he became a traitor and a
perjured man.
  "The day which followed the night of my misfortune did not come so
quickly, I imagine, as Don Fernando wished, for when desire has
attained its object, the greatest pleasure is to fly from the scene of
pleasure. I say so because Don Fernando made all haste to leave me,
and by the adroitness of my maid, who was indeed the one who had
admitted him, gained the street before daybreak; but on taking leave
of me he told me, though not with as much earnestness and fervour as
when he came, that I might rest assured of his faith and of the
sanctity and sincerity of his oaths; and to confirm his words he
drew a rich ring off his finger and placed it upon mine. He then
took his departure and I was left, I know not whether sorrowful or
happy; all I can say is, I was left agitated and troubled in mind
and almost bewildered by what had taken place, and I had not the
spirit, or else it did not occur to me, to chide my maid for the
treachery she had been guilty of in concealing Don Fernando in my
chamber; for as yet I was unable to make up my mind whether what had
befallen me was for good or evil. I told Don Fernando at parting, that
as I was now his, he might see me on other nights in the same way,
until it should be his pleasure to let the matter become known; but,
except the following night, he came no more, nor for more than a month
could I catch a glimpse of him in the street or in church, while I
wearied myself with watching for one; although I knew he was in the
town, and almost every day went out hunting, a pastime he was very
fond of. I remember well how sad and dreary those days and hours
were to me; I remember well how I began to doubt as they went by,
and even to lose confidence in the faith of Don Fernando; and I
remember, too, how my maid heard those words in reproof of her
audacity that she had not heard before, and how I was forced to put
a constraint on my tears and on the expression of my countenance,
not to give my parents cause to ask me why I was so melancholy, and
drive me to invent falsehoods in reply. But all this was suddenly
brought to an end, for the time came when all such considerations were
disregarded, and there was no further question of honour, when my
patience gave way and the secret of my heart became known abroad.
The reason was, that a few days later it was reported in the town that
Don Fernando had been married in a neighbouring city to a maiden of
rare beauty, the daughter of parents of distinguished position, though
not so rich that her portion would entitle her to look for so
brilliant a match; it was said, too, that her name was Luscinda, and
that at the betrothal some strange things had happened."
  Cardenio heard the name of Luscinda, but he only shrugged his
shoulders, bit his lips, bent his brows, and before long two streams
of tears escaped from his eyes. Dorothea, however, did not interrupt
her story, but went on in these words:
  "This sad intelligence reached my ears, and, instead of being struck
with a chill, with such wrath and fury did my heart burn that I
scarcely restrained myself from rushing out into the streets, crying
aloud and proclaiming openly the perfidy and treachery of which I
was the victim; but this transport of rage was for the time checked by
a resolution I formed, to be carried out the same night, and that
was to assume this dress, which I got from a servant of my father's,
one of the zagals, as they are called in farmhouses, to whom I
confided the whole of my misfortune, and whom I entreated to accompany
me to the city where I heard my enemy was. He, though he
remonstrated with me for my boldness, and condemned my resolution,
when he saw me bent upon my purpose, offered to bear me company, as he
said, to the end of the world. I at once packed up in a linen
pillow-case a woman's dress, and some jewels and money to provide
for emergencies, and in the silence of the night, without letting my
treacherous maid know, I sallied forth from the house, accompanied
by my servant and abundant anxieties, and on foot set out for the
city, but borne as it were on wings by my eagerness to reach it, if
not to prevent what I presumed to be already done, at least to call
upon Don Fernando to tell me with what conscience he had done it. I
reached my destination in two days and a half, and on entering the
city inquired for the house of Luscinda's parents. The first person
I asked gave me more in reply than I sought to know; he showed me
the house, and told me all that had occurred at the betrothal of the
daughter of the family, an affair of such notoriety in the city that
it was the talk of every knot of idlers in the street. He said that on
the night of Don Fernando's betrothal with Luscinda, as soon as she
had consented to be his bride by saying 'Yes,' she was taken with a
sudden fainting fit, and that on the bridegroom approaching to
unlace the bosom of her dress to give her air, he found a paper in her
own handwriting, in which she said and declared that she could not
be Don Fernando's bride, because she was already Cardenio's, who,
according to the man's account, was a gentleman of distinction of
the same city; and that if she had accepted Don Fernando, it was
only in obedience to her parents. In short, he said, the words of
the paper made it clear she meant to kill herself on the completion of
the betrothal, and gave her reasons for putting an end to herself
all which was confirmed, it was said, by a dagger they found somewhere
in her clothes. On seeing this, Don Fernando, persuaded that
Luscinda had befooled, slighted, and trifled with him, assailed her
before she had recovered from her swoon, and tried to stab her with
the dagger that had been found, and would have succeeded had not her
parents and those who were present prevented him. It was said,
moreover, that Don Fernando went away at once, and that Luscinda did
not recover from her prostration until the next day, when she told her
parents how she was really the bride of that Cardenio I have
mentioned. I learned besides that Cardenio, according to report, had
been present at the betrothal; and that upon seeing her betrothed
contrary to his expectation, he had quitted the city in despair,
leaving behind him a letter declaring the wrong Luscinda had done him,
and his intention of going where no one should ever see him again. All
this was a matter of notoriety in the city, and everyone spoke of
it; especially when it became known that Luscinda was missing from her
father's house and from the city, for she was not to be found
anywhere, to the distraction of her parents, who knew not what steps
to take to recover her. What I learned revived my hopes, and I was
better pleased not to have found Don Fernando than to find him
married, for it seemed to me that the door was not yet entirely shut
upon relief in my case, and I thought that perhaps Heaven had put this
impediment in the way of the second marriage, to lead him to recognise
his obligations under the former one, and reflect that as a
Christian he was bound to consider his soul above all human objects.
All this passed through my mind, and I strove to comfort myself
without comfort, indulging in faint and distant hopes of cherishing
that life that I now abhor.
  "But while I was in the city, uncertain what to do, as I could not
find Don Fernando, I heard notice given by the public crier offering a
great reward to anyone who should find me, and giving the
particulars of my age and of the very dress I wore; and I heard it
said that the lad who came with me had taken me away from my
father's house; a thing that cut me to the heart, showing how low my
good name had fallen, since it was not enough that I should lose it by
my flight, but they must add with whom I had fled, and that one so
much beneath me and so unworthy of my consideration. The instant I
heard the notice I quitted the city with my servant, who now began
to show signs of wavering in his fidelity to me, and the same night,
for fear of discovery, we entered the most thickly wooded part of
these mountains. But, as is commonly said, one evil calls up another
and the end of one misfortune is apt to be the beginning of one
still greater, and so it proved in my case; for my worthy servant,
until then so faithful and trusty when he found me in this lonely
spot, moved more by his own villainy than by my beauty, sought to take
advantage of the opportunity which these solitudes seemed to present
him, and with little shame and less fear of God and respect for me,
began to make overtures to me; and finding that I replied to the
effrontery of his proposals with justly severe language, he laid aside
the entreaties which he had employed at first, and began to use
violence. But just Heaven, that seldom fails to watch over and aid
good intentions, so aided mine that with my slight strength and with
little exertion I pushed him over a precipice, where I left him,
whether dead or alive I know not; and then, with greater speed than
seemed possible in my terror and fatigue, I made my way into the
mountains, without any other thought or purpose save that of hiding
myself among them, and escaping my father and those despatched in
search of me by his orders. It is now I know not how many months since
with this object I came here, where I met a herdsman who engaged me as
his servant at a place in the heart of this Sierra, and all this
time I have been serving him as herd, striving to keep always afield
to hide these locks which have now unexpectedly betrayed me. But all
my care and pains were unavailing, for my master made the discovery
that I was not a man, and harboured the same base designs as my
servant; and as fortune does not always supply a remedy in cases of
difficulty, and I had no precipice or ravine at hand down which to
fling the master and cure his passion, as I had in the servant's case,
I thought it a lesser evil to leave him and again conceal myself among
these crags, than make trial of my strength and argument with him. So,
as I say, once more I went into hiding to seek for some place where
I might with sighs and tears implore Heaven to have pity on my misery,
and grant me help and strength to escape from it, or let me die
among the solitudes, leaving no trace of an unhappy being who, by no
fault of hers, has furnished matter for talk and scandal at home and
abroad."
  CHAPTER XXIX
  WHICH TREATS OF THE DROLL DEVICE AND METHOD ADOPTED TO EXTRICATE OUR
LOVE-STRICKEN KNIGHT FROM THE SEVERE PENANCE HE HAD IMPOSED UPON
HIMSELF

  "SUCH, sirs, is the true story of my sad adventures; judge for
yourselves now whether the sighs and lamentations you heard, and the
tears that flowed from my eyes, had not sufficient cause even if I had
indulged in them more freely; and if you consider the nature of my
misfortune you will see that consolation is idle, as there is no
possible remedy for it. All I ask of you is, what you may easily and
reasonably do, to show me where I may pass my life unharassed by the
fear and dread of discovery by those who are in search of me; for
though the great love my parents bear me makes me feel sure of being
kindly received by them, so great is my feeling of shame at the mere
thought that I cannot present myself before them as they expect,
that I had rather banish myself from their sight for ever than look
them in the face with the reflection that they beheld mine stripped of
that purity they had a right to expect in me."
  With these words she became silent, and the colour that overspread
her face showed plainly the pain and shame she was suffering at heart.
In theirs the listeners felt as much pity as wonder at her
misfortunes; but as the curate was just about to offer her some
consolation and advice Cardenio forestalled him, saying, "So then,
senora, you are the fair Dorothea, the only daughter of the rich
Clenardo?" Dorothea was astonished at hearing her father's name, and
at the miserable appearance of him who mentioned it, for it has been
already said how wretchedly clad Cardenio was; so she said to him:
  "And who may you be, brother, who seem to know my father's name so
well? For so far, if I remember rightly, I have not mentioned it in
the whole story of my misfortunes."
  "I am that unhappy being, senora," replied Cardenio, "whom, as you
have said, Luscinda declared to be her husband; I am the unfortunate
Cardenio, whom the wrong-doing of him who has brought you to your
present condition has reduced to the state you see me in, bare,
ragged, bereft of all human comfort, and what is worse, of reason, for
I only possess it when Heaven is pleased for some short space to
restore it to me. I, Dorothea, am he who witnessed the wrong done by
Don Fernando, and waited to hear the 'Yes' uttered by which Luscinda
owned herself his betrothed: I am he who had not courage enough to see
how her fainting fit ended, or what came of the paper that was found
in her bosom, because my heart had not the fortitude to endure so many
strokes of ill-fortune at once; and so losing patience I quitted the
house, and leaving a letter with my host, which I entreated him to
place in Luscinda's hands, I betook myself to these solitudes,
resolved to end here the life I hated as if it were my mortal enemy.
But fate would not rid me of it, contenting itself with robbing me
of my reason, perhaps to preserve me for the good fortune I have had
in meeting you; for if that which you have just told us be true, as
I believe it to be, it may be that Heaven has yet in store for both of
us a happier termination to our misfortunes than we look for;
because seeing that Luscinda cannot marry Don Fernando, being mine, as
she has herself so openly declared, and that Don Fernando cannot marry
her as he is yours, we may reasonably hope that Heaven will restore to
us what is ours, as it is still in existence and not yet alienated
or destroyed. And as we have this consolation springing from no very
visionary hope or wild fancy, I entreat you, senora, to form new
resolutions in your better mind, as I mean to do in mine, preparing
yourself to look forward to happier fortunes; for I swear to you by
the faith of a gentleman and a Christian not to desert you until I see
you in possession of Don Fernando, and if I cannot by words induce him
to recognise his obligation to you, in that case to avail myself of
the right which my rank as a gentleman gives me, and with just cause
challenge him on account of the injury he has done you, not
regarding my own wrongs, which I shall leave to Heaven to avenge,
while I on earth devote myself to yours."
  Cardenio's words completed the astonishment of Dorothea, and not
knowing how to return thanks for such an offer, she attempted to
kiss his feet; but Cardenio would not permit it, and the licentiate
replied for both, commended the sound reasoning of Cardenio, and
lastly, begged, advised, and urged them to come with him to his
village, where they might furnish themselves with what they needed,
and take measures to discover Don Fernando, or restore Dorothea to her
parents, or do what seemed to them most advisable. Cardenio and
Dorothea thanked him, and accepted the kind offer he made them; and
the barber, who had been listening to all attentively and in
silence, on his part some kindly words also, and with no less
good-will than the curate offered his services in any way that might
be of use to them. He also explained to them in a few words the object
that had brought them there, and the strange nature of Don Quixote's
madness, and how they were waiting for his squire, who had gone in
search of him. Like the recollection of a dream, the quarrel he had
had with Don Quixote came back to Cardenio's memory, and he
described it to the others; but he was unable to say what the
dispute was about.
  At this moment they heard a shout, and recognised it as coming
from Sancho Panza, who, not finding them where he had left them, was
calling aloud to them. They went to meet him, and in answer to their
inquiries about Don Quixote, be told them how he had found him
stripped to his shirt, lank, yellow, half dead with hunger, and
sighing for his lady Dulcinea; and although he had told him that she
commanded him to quit that place and come to El Toboso, where she
was expecting him, he had answered that he was determined not to
appear in the presence of her beauty until he had done deeds to make
him worthy of her favour; and if this went on, Sancho said, he ran the
risk of not becoming an emperor as in duty bound, or even an
archbishop, which was the least he could be; for which reason they
ought to consider what was to be done to get him away from there.
The licentiate in reply told him not to be uneasy, for they would
fetch him away in spite of himself. He then told Cardenio and Dorothea
what they had proposed to do to cure Don Quixote, or at any rate
take him home; upon which Dorothea said that she could play the
distressed damsel better than the barber; especially as she had
there the dress in which to do it to the life, and that they might
trust to her acting the part in every particular requisite for
carrying out their scheme, for she had read a great many books of
chivalry, and knew exactly the style in which afflicted damsels begged
boons of knights-errant.
  "In that case," said the curate, "there is nothing more required
than to set about it at once, for beyond a doubt fortune is
declaring itself in our favour, since it has so unexpectedly begun
to open a door for your relief, and smoothed the way for us to our
object."
  Dorothea then took out of her pillow-case a complete petticoat of
some rich stuff, and a green mantle of some other fine material, and a
necklace and other ornaments out of a little box, and with these in an
instant she so arrayed herself that she looked like a great and rich
lady. All this, and more, she said, she had taken from home in case of
need, but that until then she had had no occasion to make use of it.
They were all highly delighted with her grace, air, and beauty, and
declared Don Fernando to be a man of very little taste when he
rejected such charms. But the one who admired her most was Sancho
Panza, for it seemed to him (what indeed was true) that in all the
days of his life he had never seen such a lovely creature; and he
asked the curate with great eagerness who this beautiful lady was, and
what she wanted in these out-of-the-way quarters.
  "This fair lady, brother Sancho," replied the curate, "is no less
a personage than the heiress in the direct male line of the great
kingdom of Micomicon, who has come in search of your master to beg a
boon of him, which is that he redress a wrong or injury that a
wicked giant has done her; and from the fame as a good knight which
your master has acquired far and wide, this princess has come from
Guinea to seek him."
  "A lucky seeking and a lucky finding!" said Sancho Panza at this;
"especially if my master has the good fortune to redress that
injury, and right that wrong, and kill that son of a bitch of a
giant your worship speaks of; as kill him he will if he meets him,
unless, indeed, he happens to be a phantom; for my master has no power
at all against phantoms. But one thing among others I would beg of
you, senor licentiate, which is, that, to prevent my master taking a
fancy to be an archbishop, for that is what I'm afraid of, your
worship would recommend him to marry this princess at once; for in
this way he will be disabled from taking archbishop's orders, and will
easily come into his empire, and I to the end of my desires; I have
been thinking over the matter carefully, and by what I can make out
I find it will not do for me that my master should become an
archbishop, because I am no good for the Church, as I am married;
and for me now, having as I have a wife and children, to set about
obtaining dispensations to enable me to hold a place of profit under
the Church, would be endless work; so that, senor, it all turns on
my master marrying this lady at once- for as yet I do not know her
grace, and so I cannot call her by her name."
  "She is called the Princess Micomicona," said the curate; "for as
her kingdom is Micomicon, it is clear that must be her name."
  "There's no doubt of that," replied Sancho, "for I have known many
to take their name and title from the place where they were born and
call themselves Pedro of Alcala, Juan of Ubeda, and Diego of
Valladolid; and it may be that over there in Guinea queens have the
same way of taking the names of their kingdoms."
  "So it may," said the curate; "and as for your master's marrying,
I will do all in my power towards it:" with which Sancho was as much
pleased as the curate was amazed at his simplicity and at seeing
what a hold the absurdities of his master had taken of his fancy,
for he had evidently persuaded himself that he was going to be an
emperor.
  By this time Dorothea had seated herself upon the curate's mule, and
the barber had fitted the ox-tail beard to his face, and they now told
Sancho to conduct them to where Don Quixote was, warning him not to
say that he knew either the licentiate or the barber, as his
master's becoming an emperor entirely depended on his not
recognising them; neither the curate nor Cardenio, however, thought
fit to go with them; Cardenio lest he should remind Don Quixote of the
quarrel he had with him, and the curate as there was no necessity
for his presence just yet, so they allowed the others to go on
before them, while they themselves followed slowly on foot. The curate
did not forget to instruct Dorothea how to act, but she said they
might make their minds easy, as everything would be done exactly as
the books of chivalry required and described.
  They had gone about three-quarters of a league when they
discovered Don Quixote in a wilderness of rocks, by this time clothed,
but without his armour; and as soon as Dorothea saw him and was told
by Sancho that that was Don Quixote, she whipped her palfrey, the
well-bearded barber following her, and on coming up to him her
squire sprang from his mule and came forward to receive her in his
arms, and she dismounting with great ease of manner advanced to
kneel before the feet of Don Quixote; and though he strove to raise
her up, she without rising addressed him in this fashion:
  "From this spot I will not rise, valiant and doughty knight, until
your goodness and courtesy grant me a boon, which will redound to
the honour and renown of your person and render a service to the
most disconsolate and afflicted damsel the sun has seen; and if the
might of your strong arm corresponds to the repute of your immortal
fame, you are bound to aid the helpless being who, led by the savour
of your renowned name, hath come from far distant lands to seek your
aid in her misfortunes."
  "I will not answer a word, beauteous lady," replied Don Quixote,
"nor will I listen to anything further concerning you, until you
rise from the earth."
  "I will not rise, senor," answered the afflicted damsel, "unless
of your courtesy the boon I ask is first granted me."
  "I grant and accord it," said Don Quixote, "provided without
detriment or prejudice to my king, my country, or her who holds the
key of my heart and freedom, it may be complied with."
  "It will not be to the detriment or prejudice of any of them, my
worthy lord," said the afflicted damsel; and here Sancho Panza drew
close to his master's ear and said to him very softly, "Your worship
may very safely grant the boon she asks; it's nothing at all; only
to kill a big giant; and she who asks it is the exalted Princess
Micomicona, queen of the great kingdom of Micomicon of Ethiopia."
  "Let her be who she may," replied Don Quixote, "I will do what is my
bounden duty, and what my conscience bids me, in conformity with
what I have professed;" and turning to the damsel he said, "Let your
great beauty rise, for I grant the boon which you would ask of me."
  "Then what I ask," said the damsel, "is that your magnanimous person
accompany me at once whither I will conduct you, and that you
promise not to engage in any other adventure or quest until you have
avenged me of a traitor who against all human and divine law, has
usurped my kingdom."
  "I repeat that I grant it," replied Don Quixote; "and so, lady,
you may from this day forth lay aside the melancholy that distresses
you, and let your failing hopes gather new life and strength, for with
the help of God and of my arm you will soon see yourself restored to
your kingdom, and seated upon the throne of your ancient and mighty
realm, notwithstanding and despite of the felons who would gainsay it;
and now hands to the work, for in delay there is apt to be danger."
  The distressed damsel strove with much pertinacity to kiss his
hands; but Don Quixote, who was in all things a polished and courteous
knight, would by no means allow it, but made her rise and embraced her
with great courtesy and politeness, and ordered Sancho to look to
Rocinante's girths, and to arm him without a moment's delay. Sancho
took down the armour, which was hung up on a tree like a trophy, and
having seen to the girths armed his master in a trice, who as soon
as he found himself in his armour exclaimed:
  "Let us be gone in the name of God to bring aid to this great lady."
  The barber was all this time on his knees at great pains to hide his
laughter and not let his beard fall, for had it fallen maybe their
fine scheme would have come to nothing; but now seeing the boon
granted, and the promptitude with which Don Quixote prepared to set
out in compliance with it, he rose and took his lady's hand, and
between them they placed her upon the mule. Don Quixote then mounted
Rocinante, and the barber settled himself on his beast, Sancho being
left to go on foot, which made him feel anew the loss of his Dapple,
finding the want of him now. But he bore all with cheerfulness,
being persuaded that his master had now fairly started and was just on
the point of becoming an emperor; for he felt no doubt at all that
he would marry this princess, and be king of Micomicon at least. The
only thing that troubled him was the reflection that this kingdom
was in the land of the blacks, and that the people they would give him
for vassals would be all black; but for this he soon found a remedy in
his fancy, and said he to himself, "What is it to me if my vassals are
blacks? What more have I to do than make a cargo of them and carry
them to Spain, where I can sell them and get ready money for them, and
with it buy some title or some office in which to live at ease all the
days of my life? Not unless you go to sleep and haven't the wit or
skill to turn things to account and sell three, six, or ten thousand
vassals while you would he talking about it! By God I will stir them
up, big and little, or as best I can, and let them be ever so black
I'll turn them into white or yellow. Come, come, what a fool I am!"
And so he jogged on, so occupied with his thoughts and easy in his
mind that he forgot all about the hardship of travelling on foot.
  Cardenio and the curate were watching all this from among some
bushes, not knowing how to join company with the others; but the
curate, who was very fertile in devices, soon hit upon a way of
effecting their purpose, and with a pair of scissors he had in a
case he quickly cut off Cardenio's beard, and putting on him a grey
jerkin of his own he gave him a black cloak, leaving himself in his
breeches and doublet, while Cardenio's appearance was so different
from what it had been that he would not have known himself had he seen
himself in a mirror. Having effected this, although the others had
gone on ahead while they were disguising themselves, they easily
came out on the high road before them, for the brambles and awkward
places they encountered did not allow those on horseback to go as fast
as those on foot. They then posted themselves on the level ground at
the outlet of the Sierra, and as soon as Don Quixote and his
companions emerged from it the curate began to examine him very
deliberately, as though he were striving to recognise him, and after
having stared at him for some time he hastened towards him with open
arms exclaiming, "A happy meeting with the mirror of chivalry, my
worthy compatriot Don Quixote of La Mancha, the flower and cream of
high breeding, the protection and relief of the distressed, the
quintessence of knights-errant!" And so saying he clasped in his
arms the knee of Don Quixote's left leg. He, astonished at the
stranger's words and behaviour, looked at him attentively, and at
length recognised him, very much surprised to see him there, and
made great efforts to dismount. This, however, the curate would not
allow, on which Don Quixote said, "Permit me, senor licentiate, for it
is not fitting that I should be on horseback and so reverend a
person as your worship on foot."
  "On no account will I allow it," said the curate; "your mightiness
must remain on horseback, for it is on horseback you achieve the
greatest deeds and adventures that have been beheld in our age; as for
me, an unworthy priest, it will serve me well enough to mount on the
haunches of one of the mules of these gentlefolk who accompany your
worship, if they have no objection, and I will fancy I am mounted on
the steed Pegasus, or on the zebra or charger that bore the famous
Moor, Muzaraque, who to this day lies enchanted in the great hill of
Zulema, a little distance from the great Complutum."
  "Nor even that will I consent to, senor licentiate," answered Don
Quixote, "and I know it will be the good pleasure of my lady the
princess, out of love for me, to order her squire to give up the
saddle of his mule to your worship, and he can sit behind if the beast
will bear it."
  "It will, I am sure," said the princess, "and I am sure, too, that I
need not order my squire, for he is too courteous and considerate to
allow a Churchman to go on foot when he might be mounted."
  "That he is," said the barber, and at once alighting, he offered his
saddle to the curate, who accepted it without much entreaty; but
unfortunately as the barber was mounting behind, the mule, being as it
happened a hired one, which is the same thing as saying
ill-conditioned, lifted its hind hoofs and let fly a couple of kicks
in the air, which would have made Master Nicholas wish his
expedition in quest of Don Quixote at the devil had they caught him on
the breast or head. As it was, they so took him by surprise that he
came to the ground, giving so little heed to his beard that it fell
off, and all he could do when he found himself without it was to cover
his face hastily with both his hands and moan that his teeth were
knocked out. Don Quixote when he saw all that bundle of beard
detached, without jaws or blood, from the face of the fallen squire,
exclaimed:
  "By the living God, but this is a great miracle! it has knocked
off and plucked away the beard from his face as if it had been
shaved off designedly."
  The curate, seeing the danger of discovery that threatened his
scheme, at once pounced upon the beard and hastened with it to where
Master Nicholas lay, still uttering moans, and drawing his head to his
breast had it on in an instant, muttering over him some words which he
said were a certain special charm for sticking on beards, as they
would see; and as soon as he had it fixed he left him, and the
squire appeared well bearded and whole as before, whereat Don
Quixote was beyond measure astonished, and begged the curate to
teach him that charm when he had an opportunity, as he was persuaded
its virtue must extend beyond the sticking on of beards, for it was
clear that where the beard had been stripped off the flesh must have
remained torn and lacerated, and when it could heal all that it must
be good for more than beards.
  "And so it is," said the curate, and he promised to teach it to
him on the first opportunity. They then agreed that for the present
the curate should mount, and that the three should ride by turns until
they reached the inn, which might be about six leagues from where they
were.
  Three then being mounted, that is to say, Don Quixote, the princess,
and the curate, and three on foot, Cardenio, the barber, and Sancho
Panza, Don Quixote said to the damsel:
  "Let your highness, lady, lead on whithersoever is most pleasing
to you;" but before she could answer the licentiate said:
  "Towards what kingdom would your ladyship direct our course? Is it
perchance towards that of Micomicon? It must be, or else I know little
about kingdoms."
  She, being ready on all points, understood that she was to answer
"Yes," so she said "Yes, senor, my way lies towards that kingdom."
  "In that case," said the curate, "we must pass right through my
village, and there your worship will take the road to Cartagena, where
you will be able to embark, fortune favouring; and if the wind be fair
and the sea smooth and tranquil, in somewhat less than nine years
you may come in sight of the great lake Meona, I mean Meotides,
which is little more than a hundred days' journey this side of your
highness's kingdom."
  "Your worship is mistaken, senor," said she; "for it is not two
years since I set out from it, and though I never had good weather,
nevertheless I am here to behold what I so longed for, and that is
my lord Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose fame came to my ears as soon
as I set foot in Spain and impelled me to go in search of him, to
commend myself to his courtesy, and entrust the justice of my cause to
the might of his invincible arm."
  "Enough; no more praise," said Don Quixote at this, "for I hate
all flattery; and though this may not be so, still language of the
kind is offensive to my chaste ears. I will only say, senora, that
whether it has might or not, that which it may or may not have shall
be devoted to your service even to death; and now, leaving this to its
proper season, I would ask the senor licentiate to tell me what it
is that has brought him into these parts, alone, unattended, and so
lightly clad that I am filled with amazement."
  "I will answer that briefly," replied the curate; "you must know
then, Senor Don Quixote, that Master Nicholas, our friend and
barber, and I were going to Seville to receive some money that a
relative of mine who went to the Indies many years ago had sent me,
and not such a small sum but that it was over sixty thousand pieces of
eight, full weight, which is something; and passing by this place
yesterday we were attacked by four footpads, who stripped us even to
our beards, and them they stripped off so that the barber found it
necessary to put on a false one, and even this young man here"-
pointing to Cardenio- "they completely transformed. But the best of it
is, the story goes in the neighbourhood that those who attacked us
belong to a number of galley slaves who, they say, were set free
almost on the very same spot by a man of such valour that, in spite of
the commissary and of the guards, he released the whole of them; and
beyond all doubt he must have been out of his senses, or he must be as
great a scoundrel as they, or some man without heart or conscience
to let the wolf loose among the sheep, the fox among the hens, the fly
among the honey. He has defrauded justice, and opposed his king and
lawful master, for he opposed his just commands; he has, I say, robbed
the galleys of their feet, stirred up the Holy Brotherhood which for
many years past has been quiet, and, lastly, has done a deed by
which his soul may be lost without any gain to his body." Sancho had
told the curate and the barber of the adventure of the galley
slaves, which, so much to his glory, his master had achieved, and
hence the curate in alluding to it made the most of it to see what
would be said or done by Don Quixote; who changed colour at every
word, not daring to say that it was he who had been the liberator of
those worthy people. "These, then," said the curate, "were they who
robbed us; and God in his mercy pardon him who would not let them go
to the punishment they deserved."
  CHAPTER XXX
  WHICH TREATS OF ADDRESS DISPLAYED BY THE FAIR DOROTHEA, WITH OTHER
MATTERS PLEASANT AND AMUSING

  THE curate had hardly ceased speaking, when Sancho said, "In
faith, then, senor licentiate, he who did that deed was my master; and
it was not for want of my telling him beforehand and warning him to
mind what he was about, and that it was a sin to set them at
liberty, as they were all on the march there because they were special
scoundrels."
  "Blockhead!" said Don Quixote at this, "it is no business or concern
of knights-errant to inquire whether any persons in affliction, in
chains, or oppressed that they may meet on the high roads go that
way and suffer as they do because of their faults or because of
their misfortunes. It only concerns them to aid them as persons in
need of help, having regard to their sufferings and not to their
rascalities. I encountered a chaplet or string of miserable and
unfortunate people, and did for them what my sense of duty demands
of me, and as for the rest be that as it may; and whoever takes
objection to it, saving the sacred dignity of the senor licentiate and
his honoured person, I say he knows little about chivalry and lies
like a whoreson villain, and this I will give him to know to the
fullest extent with my sword;" and so saying he settled himself in his
stirrups and pressed down his morion; for the barber's basin, which
according to him was Mambrino's helmet, he carried hanging at the
saddle-bow until he could repair the damage done to it by the galley
slaves.
  Dorothea, who was shrewd and sprightly, and by this time
thoroughly understood Don Quixote's crazy turn, and that all except
Sancho Panza were making game of him, not to be behind the rest said
to him, on observing his irritation, "Sir Knight, remember the boon
you have promised me, and that in accordance with it you must not
engage in any other adventure, be it ever so pressing; calm
yourself, for if the licentiate had known that the galley slaves had
been set free by that unconquered arm he would have stopped his
mouth thrice over, or even bitten his tongue three times before he
would have said a word that tended towards disrespect of your
worship."
  "That I swear heartily," said the curate, "and I would have even
plucked off a moustache."
  "I will hold my peace, senora," said Don Quixote, "and I will curb
the natural anger that had arisen in my breast, and will proceed in
peace and quietness until I have fulfilled my promise; but in return
for this consideration I entreat you to tell me, if you have no
objection to do so, what is the nature of your trouble, and how
many, who, and what are the persons of whom I am to require due
satisfaction, and on whom I am to take vengeance on your behalf?"
  "That I will do with all my heart," replied Dorothea, "if it will
not be wearisome to you to hear of miseries and misfortunes."
  "It will not be wearisome, senora," said Don Quixote; to which
Dorothea replied, "Well, if that be so, give me your attention." As
soon as she said this, Cardenio and the barber drew close to her side,
eager to hear what sort of story the quick-witted Dorothea would
invent for herself; and Sancho did the same, for he was as much
taken in by her as his master; and she having settled herself
comfortably in the saddle, and with the help of coughing and other
preliminaries taken time to think, began with great sprightliness of
manner in this fashion.
  "First of all, I would have you know, sirs, that my name is-" and
here she stopped for a moment, for she forgot the name the curate
had given her; but he came to her relief, seeing what her difficulty
was, and said, "It is no wonder, senora, that your highness should
be confused and embarrassed in telling the tale of your misfortunes;
for such afflictions often have the effect of depriving the
sufferers of memory, so that they do not even remember their own
names, as is the case now with your ladyship, who has forgotten that
she is called the Princess Micomicona, lawful heiress of the great
kingdom of Micomicon; and with this cue your highness may now recall
to your sorrowful recollection all you may wish to tell us."
  "That is the truth," said the damsel; "but I think from this on I
shall have no need of any prompting, and I shall bring my true story
safe into port, and here it is. The king my father, who was called
Tinacrio the Sapient, was very learned in what they call magic arts,
and became aware by his craft that my mother, who was called Queen
Jaramilla, was to die before he did, and that soon after he too was to
depart this life, and I was to be left an orphan without father or
mother. But all this, he declared, did not so much grieve or
distress him as his certain knowledge that a prodigious giant, the
lord of a great island close to our kingdom, Pandafilando of the Scowl
by name -for it is averred that, though his eyes are properly placed
and straight, he always looks askew as if he squinted, and this he
does out of malignity, to strike fear and terror into those he looks
at- that he knew, I say, that this giant on becoming aware of my
orphan condition would overrun my kingdom with a mighty force and
strip me of all, not leaving me even a small village to shelter me;
but that I could avoid all this ruin and misfortune if I were
willing to marry him; however, as far as he could see, he never
expected that I would consent to a marriage so unequal; and he said no
more than the truth in this, for it has never entered my mind to marry
that giant, or any other, let him be ever so great or enormous. My
father said, too, that when he was dead, and I saw Pandafilando
about to invade my kingdom, I was not to wait and attempt to defend
myself, for that would be destructive to me, but that I should leave
the kingdom entirely open to him if I wished to avoid the death and
total destruction of my good and loyal vassals, for there would be
no possibility of defending myself against the giant's devilish power;
and that I should at once with some of my followers set out for Spain,
where I should obtain relief in my distress on finding a certain
knight-errant whose fame by that time would extend over the whole
kingdom, and who would be called, if I remember rightly, Don Azote
or Don Gigote."
  "'Don Quixote,' he must have said, senora," observed Sancho at this,
"otherwise called the Knight of the Rueful Countenance."
  "That is it," said Dorothea; "he said, moreover, that he would be
tall of stature and lank featured; and that on his right side under
the left shoulder, or thereabouts, he would have a grey mole with
hairs like bristles."
  On hearing this, Don Quixote said to his squire, "Here, Sancho my
son, bear a hand and help me to strip, for I want to see if I am the
knight that sage king foretold."
  "What does your worship want to strip for?" said Dorothea.
  "To see if I have that mole your father spoke of," answered Don
Quixote.
  "There is no occasion to strip," said Sancho; "for I know your
worship has just such a mole on the middle of your backbone, which
is the mark of a strong man."
  "That is enough," said Dorothea, "for with friends we must not
look too closely into trifles; and whether it be on the shoulder or on
the backbone matters little; it is enough if there is a mole, be it
where it may, for it is all the same flesh; no doubt my good father
hit the truth in every particular, and I have made a lucky hit in
commending myself to Don Quixote; for he is the one my father spoke
of, as the features of his countenance correspond with those
assigned to this knight by that wide fame he has acquired not only
in Spain but in all La Mancha; for I had scarcely landed at Osuna when
I heard such accounts of his achievements, that at once my heart
told me he was the very one I had come in search of."
  "But how did you land at Osuna, senora," asked Don Quixote, "when it
is not a seaport?"
  But before Dorothea could reply the curate anticipated her,
saying, "The princess meant to say that after she had landed at Malaga
the first place where she heard of your worship was Osuna."
  "That is what I meant to say," said Dorothea.
  "And that would be only natural," said the curate. "Will your
majesty please proceed?"
  "There is no more to add," said Dorothea, "save that in finding
Don Quixote I have had such good fortune, that I already reckon and
regard myself queen and mistress of my entire dominions, since of
his courtesy and magnanimity he has granted me the boon of
accompanying me whithersoever I may conduct him, which will be only to
bring him face to face with Pandafilando of the Scowl, that he may
slay him and restore to me what has been unjustly usurped by him:
for all this must come to pass satisfactorily since my good father
Tinacrio the Sapient foretold it, who likewise left it declared in
writing in Chaldee or Greek characters (for I cannot read them),
that if this predicted knight, after having cut the giant's throat,
should be disposed to marry me I was to offer myself at once without
demur as his lawful wife, and yield him possession of my kingdom
together with my person."
  "What thinkest thou now, friend Sancho?" said Don Quixote at this.
"Hearest thou that? Did I not tell thee so? See how we have already
got a kingdom to govern and a queen to marry!"
  "On my oath it is so," said Sancho; "and foul fortune to him who
won't marry after slitting Senor Pandahilado's windpipe! And then, how
illfavoured the queen is! I wish the fleas in my bed were that sort!"
  And so saying he cut a couple of capers in the air with every sign
of extreme satisfaction, and then ran to seize the bridle of
Dorothea's mule, and checking it fell on his knees before her, begging
her to give him her hand to kiss in token of his acknowledgment of her
as his queen and mistress. Which of the bystanders could have helped
laughing to see the madness of the master and the simplicity of the
servant? Dorothea therefore gave her hand, and promised to make him
a great lord in her kingdom, when Heaven should be so good as to
permit her to recover and enjoy it, for which Sancho returned thanks
in words that set them all laughing again.
  "This, sirs," continued Dorothea, "is my story; it only remains to
tell you that of all the attendants I took with me from my kingdom I
have none left except this well-bearded squire, for all were drowned
in a great tempest we encountered when in sight of port; and he and
I came to land on a couple of planks as if by a miracle; and indeed
the whole course of my life is a miracle and a mystery as you may have
observed; and if I have been over minute in any respect or not as
precise as I ought, let it be accounted for by what the licentiate
said at the beginning of my tale, that constant and excessive troubles
deprive the sufferers of their memory."
  "They shall not deprive me of mine, exalted and worthy princess,"
said Don Quixote, "however great and unexampled those which I shall
endure in your service may be; and here I confirm anew the boon I have
promised you, and I swear to go with you to the end of the world until
I find myself in the presence of your fierce enemy, whose haughty head
I trust by the aid of my arm to cut off with the edge of this- I
will not say good sword, thanks to Gines de Pasamonte who carried away
mine"- (this he said between his teeth, and then continued), "and when
it has been cut off and you have been put in peaceful possession of
your realm it shall be left to your own decision to dispose of your
person as may be most pleasing to you; for so long as my memory is
occupied, my will enslaved, and my understanding enthralled by her-
I say no more- it is impossible for me for a moment to contemplate
marriage, even with a Phoenix."
  The last words of his master about not wanting to marry were so
disagreeable to Sancho that raising his voice he exclaimed with
great irritation:
  "By my oath, Senor Don Quixote, you are not in your right senses;
for how can your worship possibly object to marrying such an exalted
princess as this? Do you think Fortune will offer you behind every
stone such a piece of luck as is offered you now? Is my lady
Dulcinea fairer, perchance? Not she; nor half as fair; and I will even
go so far as to say she does not come up to the shoe of this one here.
A poor chance I have of getting that county I am waiting for if your
worship goes looking for dainties in the bottom of the sea. In the
devil's name, marry, marry, and take this kingdom that comes to hand
without any trouble, and when you are king make me a marquis or
governor of a province, and for the rest let the devil take it all."
  Don Quixote, when he heard such blasphemies uttered against his lady
Dulcinea, could not endure it, and lifting his pike, without saying
anything to Sancho or uttering a word, he gave him two such thwacks
that he brought him to the ground; and had it not been that Dorothea
cried out to him to spare him he would have no doubt taken his life on
the spot.
  "Do you think," he said to him after a pause, "you scurvy clown,
that you are to be always interfering with me, and that you are to
be always offending and I always pardoning? Don't fancy it, impious
scoundrel, for that beyond a doubt thou art, since thou hast set thy
tongue going against the peerless Dulcinea. Know you not, lout,
vagabond, beggar, that were it not for the might that she infuses into
my arm I should not have strength enough to kill a flea? Say,
scoffer with a viper's tongue, what think you has won this kingdom and
cut off this giant's head and made you a marquis (for all this I count
as already accomplished and decided), but the might of Dulcinea,
employing my arm as the instrument of her achievements? She fights
in me and conquers in me, and I live and breathe in her, and owe my
life and being to her. O whoreson scoundrel, how ungrateful you are,
you see yourself raised from the dust of the earth to be a titled
lord, and the return you make for so great a benefit is to speak
evil of her who has conferred it upon you!"
  Sancho was not so stunned but that he heard all his master said, and
rising with some degree of nimbleness he ran to place himself behind
Dorothea's palfrey, and from that position he said to his master:
  "Tell me, senor; if your worship is resolved not to marry this great
princess, it is plain the kingdom will not be yours; and not being so,
how can you bestow favours upon me? That is what I complain of. Let
your worship at any rate marry this queen, now that we have got her
here as if showered down from heaven, and afterwards you may go back
to my lady Dulcinea; for there must have been kings in the world who
kept mistresses. As to beauty, I have nothing to do with it; and if
the truth is to be told, I like them both; though I have never seen
the lady Dulcinea."
  "How! never seen her, blasphemous traitor!" exclaimed Don Quixote;
"hast thou not just now brought me a message from her?"
  "I mean," said Sancho, "that I did not see her so much at my leisure
that I could take particular notice of her beauty, or of her charms
piecemeal; but taken in the lump I like her."
  "Now I forgive thee," said Don Quixote; "and do thou forgive me
the injury I have done thee; for our first impulses are not in our
control."
  "That I see," replied Sancho, "and with me the wish to speak is
always the first impulse, and I cannot help saying, once at any
rate, what I have on the tip of my tongue."
  "For all that, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "take heed of what thou
sayest, for the pitcher goes so often to the well- I need say no
more to thee."
  "Well, well," said Sancho, "God is in heaven, and sees all tricks,
and will judge who does most harm, I in not speaking right, or your
worship in not doing it."
  "That is enough," said Dorothea; "run, Sancho, and kiss your
lord's hand and beg his pardon, and henceforward be more circumspect
with your praise and abuse; and say nothing in disparagement of that
lady Toboso, of whom I know nothing save that I am her servant; and
put your trust in God, for you will not fail to obtain some dignity so
as to live like a prince."
  Sancho advanced hanging his head and begged his master's hand, which
Don Quixote with dignity presented to him, giving him his blessing
as soon as he had kissed it; he then bade him go on ahead a little, as
he had questions to ask him and matters of great importance to discuss
with him. Sancho obeyed, and when the two had gone some distance in
advance Don Quixote said to him, "Since thy return I have had no
opportunity or time to ask thee many particulars touching thy
mission and the answer thou hast brought back, and now that chance has
granted us the time and opportunity, deny me not the happiness thou
canst give me by such good news."
  "Let your worship ask what you will," answered Sancho, "for I
shall find a way out of all as as I found a way in; but I implore you,
senor, not not to be so revengeful in future."
  "Why dost thou say that, Sancho?" said Don Quixote.
  "I say it," he returned, "because those blows just now were more
because of the quarrel the devil stirred up between us both the
other night, than for what I said against my lady Dulcinea, whom I
love and reverence as I would a relic- though there is nothing of that
about her- merely as something belonging to your worship."
  "Say no more on that subject for thy life, Sancho," said Don
Quixote, "for it is displeasing to me; I have already pardoned thee
for that, and thou knowest the common saying, 'for a fresh sin a fresh
penance.'"
  While this was going on they saw coming along the road they were
following a man mounted on an ass, who when he came close seemed to be
a gipsy; but Sancho Panza, whose eyes and heart were there wherever he
saw asses, no sooner beheld the man than he knew him to be Gines de
Pasamonte; and by the thread of the gipsy he got at the ball, his ass,
for it was, in fact, Dapple that carried Pasamonte, who to escape
recognition and to sell the ass had disguised himself as a gipsy,
being able to speak the gipsy language, and many more, as well as if
they were his own. Sancho saw him and recognised him, and the
instant he did so he shouted to him, "Ginesillo, you thief, give up my
treasure, release my life, embarrass thyself not with my repose,
quit my ass, leave my delight, be off, rip, get thee gone, thief,
and give up what is not thine."
  There was no necessity for so many words or objurgations, for at the
first one Gines jumped down, and at a like racing speed made off and
got clear of them all. Sancho hastened to his Dapple, and embracing
him he said, "How hast thou fared, my blessing, Dapple of my eyes,
my comrade?" all the while kissing him and caressing him as if he were
a human being. The ass held his peace, and let himself be kissed and
caressed by Sancho without answering a single word. They all came up
and congratulated him on having found Dapple, Don Quixote
especially, who told him that notwithstanding this he would not cancel
the order for the three ass-colts, for which Sancho thanked him.
  While the two had been going along conversing in this fashion, the
curate observed to Dorothea that she had shown great cleverness, as
well in the story itself as in its conciseness, and the resemblance it
bore to those of the books of chivalry. She said that she had many
times amused herself reading them; but that she did not know the
situation of the provinces or seaports, and so she had said at
haphazard that she had landed at Osuna.
  "So I saw," said the curate, "and for that reason I made haste to
say what I did, by which it was all set right. But is it not a strange
thing to see how readily this unhappy gentleman believes all these
figments and lies, simply because they are in the style and manner
of the absurdities of his books?"
  "So it is," said Cardenio; "and so uncommon and unexampled, that
were one to attempt to invent and concoct it in fiction, I doubt if
there be any wit keen enough to imagine it."
  "But another strange thing about it," said the curate, "is that,
apart from the silly things which this worthy gentleman says in
connection with his craze, when other subjects are dealt with, he
can discuss them in a perfectly rational manner, showing that his mind
is quite clear and composed; so that, provided his chivalry is not
touched upon, no one would take him to be anything but a man of
thoroughly sound understanding."
  While they were holding this conversation Don Quixote continued
his with Sancho, saying:
  "Friend Panza, let us forgive and forget as to our quarrels, and
tell me now, dismissing anger and irritation, where, how, and when
didst thou find Dulcinea? What was she doing? What didst thou say to
her? What did she answer? How did she look when she was reading my
letter? Who copied it out for thee? and everything in the matter
that seems to thee worth knowing, asking, and learning; neither adding
nor falsifying to give me pleasure, nor yet curtailing lest you should
deprive me of it."
  "Senor," replied Sancho, "if the truth is to be told, nobody
copied out the letter for me, for I carried no letter at all."
  "It is as thou sayest," said Don Quixote, "for the note-book in
which I wrote it I found in my own possession two days after thy
departure, which gave me very great vexation, as I knew not what
thou wouldst do on finding thyself without any letter; and I made sure
thou wouldst return from the place where thou didst first miss it."
  "So I should have done," said Sancho, "if I had not got it by
heart when your worship read it to me, so that I repeated it to a
sacristan, who copied it out for me from hearing it, so exactly that
he said in all the days of his life, though he had read many a
letter of excommunication, he had never seen or read so pretty a
letter as that."
  "And hast thou got it still in thy memory, Sancho?" said Don
Quixote.
  "No, senor," replied Sancho, "for as soon as I had repeated it,
seeing there was no further use for it, I set about forgetting it; and
if I recollect any of it, it is that about 'Scrubbing,'I mean to say
'Sovereign Lady,' and the end 'Yours till death, the Knight of the
Rueful Countenance;' and between these two I put into it more than
three hundred 'my souls' and 'my life's' and 'my eyes."
  CHAPTER XXXI
  OF THE DELECTABLE DISCUSSION BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND SANCHO PANZA,
HIS SQUIRE, TOGETHER WITH OTHER INCIDENTS

  "ALL that is not unsatisfactory to me," said Don Quixote. "Go on;
thou didst reach her; and what was that queen of beauty doing?
Surely thou didst find her stringing pearls, or embroidering some
device in gold thread for this her enslaved knight."
  "I did not," said Sancho, "but I found her winnowing two bushels
of wheat in the yard of her house."
  "Then depend upon it," said Don Quixote, "the grains of that wheat
were pearls when touched by her hands; and didst thou look, friend?
was it white wheat or brown?"
  "It was neither, but red," said Sancho.
  "Then I promise thee," said Don Quixote, "that, winnowed by her
hands, beyond a doubt the bread it made was of the whitest; but go on;
when thou gavest her my letter, did she kiss it? Did she place it on
her head? Did she perform any ceremony befitting it, or what did she
do?"
  "When I went to give it to her," replied Sancho, "she was hard at it
swaying from side to side with a lot of wheat she had in the sieve,
and she said to me, 'Lay the letter, friend, on the top of that
sack, for I cannot read it until I have done sifting all this."
  "Discreet lady!" said Don Quixote; "that was in order to read it
at her leisure and enjoy it; proceed, Sancho; while she was engaged in
her occupation what converse did she hold with thee? What did she
ask about me, and what answer didst thou give? Make haste; tell me
all, and let not an atom be left behind in the ink-bottle."
  "She asked me nothing," said Sancho; "but I told her how your
worship was left doing penance in her service, naked from the waist
up, in among these mountains like a savage, sleeping on the ground,
not eating bread off a tablecloth nor combing your beard, weeping
and cursing your fortune."
  "In saying I cursed my fortune thou saidst wrong," said Don Quixote;
"for rather do I bless it and shall bless it all the days of my life
for having made me worthy of aspiring to love so lofty a lady as
Dulcinea del Toboso."
  "And so lofty she is," said Sancho, "that she overtops me by more
than a hand's-breadth."
  "What! Sancho," said Don Quixote, "didst thou measure with her?"
  "I measured in this way," said Sancho; "going to help her to put a
sack of wheat on the back of an ass, we came so close together that
I could see she stood more than a good palm over me."
  "Well!" said Don Quixote, "and doth she not of a truth accompany and
adorn this greatness with a thousand million charms of mind! But one
thing thou wilt not deny, Sancho; when thou camest close to her
didst thou not perceive a Sabaean odour, an aromatic fragrance, a, I
know not what, delicious, that I cannot find a name for; I mean a
redolence, an exhalation, as if thou wert in the shop of some dainty
glover?"
  "All I can say is," said Sancho, "that I did perceive a little
odour, something goaty; it must have been that she was all in a
sweat with hard work."
  "It could not be that," said Don Quixote, "but thou must have been
suffering from cold in the head, or must have smelt thyself; for I
know well what would be the scent of that rose among thorns, that lily
of the field, that dissolved amber."
  "Maybe so," replied Sancho; "there often comes from myself that same
odour which then seemed to me to come from her grace the lady
Dulcinea; but that's no wonder, for one devil is like another."
  "Well then," continued Don Quixote, "now she has done sifting the
corn and sent it to the mill; what did she do when she read the
letter?"
  "As for the letter," said Sancho, "she did not read it, for she said
she could neither read nor write; instead of that she tore it up
into small pieces, saying that she did not want to let anyone read
it lest her secrets should become known in the village, and that
what I had told her by word of mouth about the love your worship
bore her, and the extraordinary penance you were doing for her sake,
was enough; and, to make an end of it, she told me to tell your
worship that she kissed your hands, and that she had a greater
desire to see you than to write to you; and that therefore she
entreated and commanded you, on sight of this present, to come out
of these thickets, and to have done with carrying on absurdities,
and to set out at once for El Toboso, unless something else of greater
importance should happen, for she had a great desire to see your
worship. She laughed greatly when I told her how your worship was
called The Knight of the Rueful Countenance; I asked her if that
Biscayan the other day had been there; and she told me he had, and
that he was an honest fellow; I asked her too about the galley slaves,
but she said she had not seen any as yet."
  "So far all goes well," said Don Quixote; "but tell me what jewel
was it that she gave thee on taking thy leave, in return for thy
tidings of me? For it is a usual and ancient custom with knights and
ladies errant to give the squires, damsels, or dwarfs who bring
tidings of their ladies to the knights, or of their knights to the
ladies, some rich jewel as a guerdon for good news,' and
acknowledgment of the message."
  "That is very likely," said Sancho, "and a good custom it was, to my
mind; but that must have been in days gone by, for now it would seem
to be the custom only to give a piece of bread and cheese; because
that was what my lady Dulcinea gave me over the top of the yard-wall
when I took leave of her; and more by token it was sheep's-milk
cheese."
  "She is generous in the extreme," said Don Quixote, "and if she
did not give thee a jewel of gold, no doubt it must have been
because she had not one to hand there to give thee; but sleeves are
good after Easter; I shall see her and all shall be made right. But
knowest thou what amazes me, Sancho? It seems to me thou must have
gone and come through the air, for thou hast taken but little more
than three days to go to El Toboso and return, though it is more
than thirty leagues from here to there. From which I am inclined to
think that the sage magician who is my friend, and watches over my
interests (for of necessity there is and must be one, or else I should
not be a right knight-errant), that this same, I say, must have helped
thee to travel without thy knowledge; for some of these sages will
catch up a knight-errant sleeping in his bed, and without his
knowing how or in what way it happened, he wakes up the next day
more than a thousand leagues away from the place where he went to
sleep. And if it were not for this, knights-errant would not be able
to give aid to one another in peril, as they do at every turn. For a
knight, maybe, is fighting in the mountains of Armenia with some
dragon, or fierce serpent, or another knight, and gets the worst of
the battle, and is at the point of death; but when he least looks
for it, there appears over against him on a cloud, or chariot of fire,
another knight, a friend of his, who just before had been in
England, and who takes his part, and delivers him from death; and at
night he finds himself in his own quarters supping very much to his
satisfaction; and yet from one place to the other will have been two
or three thousand leagues. And all this is done by the craft and skill
of the sage enchanters who take care of those valiant knights; so
that, friend Sancho, I find no difficulty in believing that thou
mayest have gone from this place to El Toboso and returned in such a
short time, since, as I have said, some friendly sage must have
carried thee through the air without thee perceiving it."
  "That must have been it," said Sancho, "for indeed Rocinante went
like a gipsy's ass with quicksilver in his ears."
  "Quicksilver!" said Don Quixote, "aye and what is more, a legion
of devils, folk that can travel and make others travel without being
weary, exactly as the whim seizes them. But putting this aside, what
thinkest thou I ought to do about my lady's command to go and see her?
For though I feel that I am bound to obey her mandate, I feel too that
I am debarred by the boon I have accorded to the princess that
accompanies us, and the law of chivalry compels me to have regard
for my word in preference to my inclination; on the one hand the
desire to see my lady pursues and harasses me, on the other my
solemn promise and the glory I shall win in this enterprise urge and
call me; but what I think I shall do is to travel with all speed and
reach quickly the place where this giant is, and on my arrival I shall
cut off his head, and establish the princess peacefully in her
realm, and forthwith I shall return to behold the light that
lightens my senses, to whom I shall make such excuses that she will be
led to approve of my delay, for she will see that it entirely tends to
increase her glory and fame; for all that I have won, am winning, or
shall win by arms in this life, comes to me of the favour she
extends to me, and because I am hers."
  "Ah! what a sad state your worship's brains are in!" said Sancho.
"Tell me, senor, do you mean to travel all that way for nothing, and
to let slip and lose so rich and great a match as this where they give
as a portion a kingdom that in sober truth I have heard say is more
than twenty thousand leagues round about, and abounds with all
things necessary to support human life, and is bigger than Portugal
and Castile put together? Peace, for the love of God! Blush for what
you have said, and take my advice, and forgive me, and marry at once
in the first village where there is a curate; if not, here is our
licentiate who will do the business beautifully; remember, I am old
enough to give advice, and this I am giving comes pat to the
purpose; for a sparrow in the hand is better than a vulture on the
wing, and he who has the good to his hand and chooses the bad, that
the good he complains of may not come to him."
  "Look here, Sancho," said Don Quixote. "If thou art advising me to
marry, in order that immediately on slaying the giant I may become
king, and be able to confer favours on thee, and give thee what I have
promised, let me tell thee I shall be able very easily to satisfy
thy desires without marrying; for before going into battle I will make
it a stipulation that, if I come out of it victorious, even I do not
marry, they shall give me a portion portion of the kingdom, that I may
bestow it upon whomsoever I choose, and when they give it to me upon
whom wouldst thou have me bestow it but upon thee?"
  "That is plain speaking," said Sancho; "but let your worship take
care to choose it on the seacoast, so that if I don't like the life, I
may be able to ship off my black vassals and deal with them as I
have said; don't mind going to see my lady Dulcinea now, but go and
kill this giant and let us finish off this business; for by God it
strikes me it will be one of great honour and great profit."
  "I hold thou art in the right of it, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and
I will take thy advice as to accompanying the princess before going to
see Dulcinea; but I counsel thee not to say anything to any one, or to
those who are with us, about what we have considered and discussed,
for as Dulcinea is so decorous that she does not wish her thoughts
to be known it is not right that I or anyone for me should disclose
them."
  "Well then, if that be so," said Sancho, "how is it that your
worship makes all those you overcome by your arm go to present
themselves before my lady Dulcinea, this being the same thing as
signing your name to it that you love her and are her lover? And as
those who go must perforce kneel before her and say they come from
your worship to submit themselves to her, how can the thoughts of both
of you be hid?"
  "O, how silly and simple thou art!" said Don Quixote; "seest thou
not, Sancho, that this tends to her greater exaltation? For thou
must know that according to our way of thinking in chivalry, it is a
high honour to a lady to have many knights-errant in her service,
whose thoughts never go beyond serving her for her own sake, and who
look for no other reward for their great and true devotion than that
she should be willing to accept them as her knights."
  "It is with that kind of love," said Sancho, "I have heard preachers
say we ought to love our Lord, for himself alone, without being
moved by the hope of glory or the fear of punishment; though for my
part, I would rather love and serve him for what he could do."
  "The devil take thee for a clown!" said Don Quixote, "and what
shrewd things thou sayest at times! One would think thou hadst
studied."
  "In faith, then, I cannot even read."
  Master Nicholas here called out to them to wait a while, as they
wanted to halt and drink at a little spring there was there. Don
Quixote drew up, not a little to the satisfaction of Sancho, for he
was by this time weary of telling so many lies, and in dread of his
master catching him tripping, for though he knew that Dulcinea was a
peasant girl of El Toboso, he had never seen her in all his life.
Cardenio had now put on the clothes which Dorothea was wearing when
they found her, and though they were not very good, they were far
better than those he put off. They dismounted together by the side
of the spring, and with what the curate had provided himself with at
the inn they appeased, though not very well, the keen appetite they
all of them brought with them.
  While they were so employed there happened to come by a youth
passing on his way, who stopping to examine the party at the spring,
the next moment ran to Don Quixote and clasping him round the legs,
began to weep freely, saying, "O, senor, do you not know me? Look at
me well; I am that lad Andres that your worship released from the
oak-tree where I was tied."
  Don Quixote recognised him, and taking his hand he turned to those
present and said: "That your worships may see how important it is to
have knights-errant to redress the wrongs and injuries done by
tyrannical and wicked men in this world, I may tell you that some days
ago passing through a wood, I heard cries and piteous complaints as of
a person in pain and distress; I immediately hastened, impelled by
my bounden duty, to the quarter whence the plaintive accents seemed to
me to proceed, and I found tied to an oak this lad who now stands
before you, which in my heart I rejoice at, for his testimony will not
permit me to depart from the truth in any particular. He was, I say,
tied to an oak, naked from the waist up, and a clown, whom I
afterwards found to be his master, was scarifying him by lashes with
the reins of his mare. As soon as I saw him I asked the reason of so
cruel a flagellation. The boor replied that he was flogging him
because he was his servant and because of carelessness that
proceeded rather from dishonesty than stupidity; on which this boy
said, 'Senor, he flogs me only because I ask for my wages.' The master
made I know not what speeches and explanations, which, though I
listened to them, I did not accept. In short, I compelled the clown to
unbind him, and to swear he would take him with him, and pay him
real by real, and perfumed into the bargain. Is not all this true,
Andres my son? Didst thou not mark with what authority I commanded
him, and with what humility he promised to do all I enjoined,
specified, and required of him? Answer without hesitation; tell
these gentlemen what took place, that they may see that it is as great
an advantage as I say to have knights-errant abroad."
  "All that your worship has said is quite true," answered the lad;
"but the end of the business turned out just the opposite of what your
worship supposes."
  "How! the opposite?" said Don Quixote; "did not the clown pay thee
then?"
  "Not only did he not pay me," replied the lad, "but as soon as
your worship had passed out of the wood and we were alone, he tied
me up again to the same oak and gave me a fresh flogging, that left me
like a flayed Saint Bartholomew; and every stroke he gave me he
followed up with some jest or gibe about having made a fool of your
worship, and but for the pain I was suffering I should have laughed at
the things he said. In short he left me in such a condition that I
have been until now in a hospital getting cured of the injuries
which that rascally clown inflicted on me then; for all which your
worship is to blame; for if you had gone your own way and not come
where there was no call for you, nor meddled in other people's
affairs, my master would have been content with giving me one or two
dozen lashes, and would have then loosed me and paid me what he owed
me; but when your worship abused him so out of measure, and gave him
so many hard words, his anger was kindled; and as he could not revenge
himself on you, as soon as he saw you had left him the storm burst
upon me in such a way, that I feel as if I should never be a man
again."
  "The mischief," said Don Quixote, "lay in my going away; for I
should not have gone until I had seen thee paid; because I ought to
have known well by long experience that there is no clown who will
keep his word if he finds it will not suit him to keep it; but thou
rememberest, Andres, that I swore if he did not pay thee I would go
and seek him, and find him though he were to hide himself in the
whale's belly."
  "That is true," said Andres; "but it was of no use."
  "Thou shalt see now whether it is of use or not," said Don
Quixote; and so saying, he got up hastily and bade Sancho bridle
Rocinante, who was browsing while they were eating. Dorothea asked him
what he meant to do. He replied that he meant to go in search of
this clown and chastise him for such iniquitous conduct, and see
Andres paid to the last maravedi, despite and in the teeth of all
the clowns in the world. To which she replied that he must remember
that in accordance with his promise he could not engage in any
enterprise until he had concluded hers; and that as he knew this
better than anyone, he should restrain his ardour until his return
from her kingdom.
  "That is true," said Don Quixote, "and Andres must have patience
until my return as you say, senora; but I once more swear and
promise not to stop until I have seen him avenged and paid."
  "I have no faith in those oaths," said Andres; "I would rather
have now something to help me to get to Seville than all the
revenges in the world; if you have here anything to eat that I can
take with me, give it me, and God be with your worship and all
knights-errant; and may their errands turn out as well for
themselves as they have for me."
  Sancho took out from his store a piece of bread and another of
cheese, and giving them to the lad he said, "Here, take this,
brother Andres, for we have all of us a share in your misfortune."
  "Why, what share have you got?"
  "This share of bread and cheese I am giving you," answered Sancho;
"and God knows whether I shall feel the want of it myself or not;
for I would have you know, friend, that we squires to knights-errant
have to bear a great deal of hunger and hard fortune, and even other
things more easily felt than told."
  Andres seized his bread and cheese, and seeing that nobody gave
him anything more, bent his head, and took hold of the road, as the
saying is. However, before leaving he said, "For the love of God,
sir knight-errant, if you ever meet me again, though you may see
them cutting me to pieces, give me no aid or succour, but leave me
to my misfortune, which will not be so great but that a greater will
come to me by being helped by your worship, on whom and all the
knights-errant that have ever been born God send his curse."
  Don Quixote was getting up to chastise him, but he took to his heels
at such a pace that no one attempted to follow him; and mightily
chapfallen was Don Quixote at Andres' story, and the others had to
take great care to restrain their laughter so as not to put him
entirely out of countenance.
  CHAPTER XXXII
  WHICH TREATS OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE'S PARTY AT THE INN

  THEIR dainty repast being finished, they saddled at once, and
without any adventure worth mentioning they reached next day the
inn, the object of Sancho Panza's fear and dread; but though he
would have rather not entered it, there was no help for it. The
landlady, the landlord, their daughter, and Maritornes, when they
saw Don Quixote and Sancho coming, went out to welcome them with signs
of hearty satisfaction, which Don Quixote received with dignity and
gravity, and bade them make up a better bed for him than the last
time: to which the landlady replied that if he paid better than he did
the last time she would give him one fit for a prince. Don Quixote
said he would, so they made up a tolerable one for him in the same
garret as before; and he lay down at once, being sorely shaken and
in want of sleep.
  No sooner was the door shut upon him than the landlady made at the
barber, and seizing him by the beard, said:
  "By my faith you are not going to make a beard of my tail any
longer; you must give me back tail, for it is a shame the way that
thing of my husband's goes tossing about on the floor; I mean the comb
that I used to stick in my good tail."
  But for all she tugged at it the barber would not give it up until
the licentiate told him to let her have it, as there was now no
further occasion for that stratagem, because he might declare
himself and appear in his own character, and tell Don Quixote that
he had fled to this inn when those thieves the galley slaves robbed
him; and should he ask for the princess's squire, they could tell
him that she had sent him on before her to give notice to the people
of her kingdom that she was coming, and bringing with her the
deliverer of them all. On this the barber cheerfully restored the tail
to the landlady, and at the same time they returned all the
accessories they had borrowed to effect Don Quixote's deliverance. All
the people of the inn were struck with astonishment at the beauty of
Dorothea, and even at the comely figure of the shepherd Cardenio.
The curate made them get ready such fare as there was in the inn,
and the landlord, in hope of better payment, served them up a
tolerably good dinner. All this time Don Quixote was asleep, and
they thought it best not to waken him, as sleeping would now do him
more good than eating.
  While at dinner, the company consisting of the landlord, his wife,
their daughter, Maritornes, and all the travellers, they discussed the
strange craze of Don Quixote and the manner in which he had been
found; and the landlady told them what had taken place between him and
the carrier; and then, looking round to see if Sancho was there,
when she saw he was not, she gave them the whole story of his
blanketing, which they received with no little amusement. But on the
curate observing that it was the books of chivalry which Don Quixote
had read that had turned his brain, the landlord said:
  "I cannot understand how that can be, for in truth to my mind
there is no better reading in the world, and I have here two or
three of them, with other writings that are the very life, not only of
myself but of plenty more; for when it is harvest-time, the reapers
flock here on holidays, and there is always one among them who can
read and who takes up one of these books, and we gather round him,
thirty or more of us, and stay listening to him with a delight that
makes our grey hairs grow young again. At least I can say for myself
that when I hear of what furious and terrible blows the knights
deliver, I am seized with the longing to do the same, and I would like
to be hearing about them night and day."
  "And I just as much," said the landlady, "because I never have a
quiet moment in my house except when you are listening to some one
reading; for then you are so taken up that for the time being you
forget to scold."
  "That is true," said Maritornes; "and, faith, I relish hearing these
things greatly too, for they are very pretty; especially when they
describe some lady or another in the arms of her knight under the
orange trees, and the duenna who is keeping watch for them half dead
with envy and fright; all this I say is as good as honey."
  "And you, what do you think, young lady?" said the curate turning to
the landlord's daughter.
  "I don't know indeed, senor," said she; "I listen too, and to tell
the truth, though I do not understand it, I like hearing it; but it is
not the blows that my father likes that I like, but the laments the
knights utter when they are separated from their ladies; and indeed
they sometimes make me weep with the pity I feel for them."
  "Then you would console them if it was for you they wept, young
lady?" said Dorothea.
  "I don't know what I should do," said the girl; "I only know that
there are some of those ladies so cruel that they call their knights
tigers and lions and a thousand other foul names: and Jesus! I don't
know what sort of folk they can be, so unfeeling and heartless, that
rather than bestow a glance upon a worthy man they leave him to die or
go mad. I don't know what is the good of such prudery; if it is for
honour's sake, why not marry them? That's all they want."
  "Hush, child," said the landlady; "it seems to me thou knowest a
great deal about these things, and it is not fit for girls to know
or talk so much."
  "As the gentleman asked me, I could not help answering him," said
the girl.
  "Well then," said the curate, "bring me these books, senor landlord,
for I should like to see them."
  "With all my heart," said he, and going into his own room he brought
out an old valise secured with a little chain, on opening which the
curate found in it three large books and some manuscripts written in a
very good hand. The first that he opened he found to be "Don
Cirongilio of Thrace," and the second "Don Felixmarte of Hircania,"
and the other the "History of the Great Captain Gonzalo Hernandez de
Cordova, with the Life of Diego Garcia de Paredes."
  When the curate read the two first titles he looked over at the
barber and said, "We want my friend's housekeeper and niece here now."
  "Nay," said the barber, "I can do just as well to carry them to
the yard or to the hearth, and there is a very good fire there."
  "What! your worship would burn my books!" said the landlord.
  "Only these two," said the curate, "Don Cirongilio, and Felixmarte."
  "Are my books, then, heretics or phlegmaties that you want to burn
them?" said the landlord.
  "Schismatics you mean, friend," said the barber, "not phlegmatics."
  "That's it," said the landlord; "but if you want to burn any, let it
be that about the Great Captain and that Diego Garcia; for I would
rather have a child of mine burnt than either of the others."
  "Brother," said the curate, "those two books are made up of lies,
and are full of folly and nonsense; but this of the Great Captain is a
true history, and contains the deeds of Gonzalo Hernandez of
Cordova, who by his many and great achievements earned the title all
over the world of the Great Captain, a famous and illustrious name,
and deserved by him alone; and this Diego Garcia de Paredes was a
distinguished knight of the city of Trujillo in Estremadura, a most
gallant soldier, and of such bodily strength that with one finger he
stopped a mill-wheel in full motion; and posted with a two-handed
sword at the foot of a bridge he kept the whole of an immense army
from passing over it, and achieved such other exploits that if,
instead of his relating them himself with the modesty of a knight
and of one writing his own history, some free and unbiassed writer had
recorded them, they would have thrown into the shade all the deeds
of the Hectors, Achilleses, and Rolands."
  "Tell that to my father," said the landlord. "There's a thing to
be astonished at! Stopping a mill-wheel! By God your worship should
read what I have read of Felixmarte of Hircania, how with one single
backstroke he cleft five giants asunder through the middle as if
they had been made of bean-pods like the little friars the children
make; and another time he attacked a very great and powerful army,
in which there were more than a million six hundred thousand soldiers,
all armed from head to foot, and he routed them all as if they had
been flocks of sheep. And then, what do you say to the good Cirongilio
of Thrace, that was so stout and bold; as may be seen in the book,
where it is related that as he was sailing along a river there came up
out of the midst of the water against him a fiery serpent, and he,
as soon as he saw it, flung himself upon it and got astride of its
scaly shoulders, and squeezed its throat with both hands with such
force that the serpent, finding he was throttling it, had nothing
for it but to let itself sink to the bottom of the river, carrying
with it the knight who would not let go his hold; and when they got
down there he found himself among palaces and gardens so pretty that
it was a wonder to see; and then the serpent changed itself into an
old ancient man, who told him such things as were never heard. Hold
your peace, senor; for if you were to hear this you would go mad
with delight. A couple of figs for your Great Captain and your Diego
Garcia!"
  Hearing this Dorothea said in a whisper to Cardenio, "Our landlord
is almost fit to play a second part to Don Quixote."
  "I think so," said Cardenio, "for, as he shows, he accepts it as a
certainty that everything those books relate took place exactly as
it is written down; and the barefooted friars themselves would not
persuade him to the contrary."
  "But consider, brother, said the curate once more, "there never
was any Felixmarte of Hircania in the world, nor any Cirongilio of
Thrace, or any of the other knights of the same sort, that the books
of chivalry talk of; the whole thing is the fabrication and
invention of idle wits, devised by them for the purpose you describe
of beguiling the time, as your reapers do when they read; for I
swear to you in all seriousness there never were any such knights in
the world, and no such exploits or nonsense ever happened anywhere."
  "Try that bone on another dog," said the landlord; "as if I did
not know how many make five, and where my shoe pinches me; don't think
to feed me with pap, for by God I am no fool. It is a good joke for
your worship to try and persuade me that everything these good books
say is nonsense and lies, and they printed by the license of the Lords
of the Royal Council, as if they were people who would allow such a
lot of lies to be printed all together, and so many battles and
enchantments that they take away one's senses."
  "I have told you, friend," said the curate, "that this is done to
divert our idle thoughts; and as in well-ordered states games of
chess, fives, and billiards are allowed for the diversion of those who
do not care, or are not obliged, or are unable to work, so books of
this kind are allowed to be printed, on the supposition that, what
indeed is the truth, there can be nobody so ignorant as to take any of
them for true stories; and if it were permitted me now, and the
present company desired it, I could say something about the
qualities books of chivalry should possess to be good ones, that would
be to the advantage and even to the taste of some; but I hope the time
will come when I can communicate my ideas to some one who may be
able to mend matters; and in the meantime, senor landlord, believe
what I have said, and take your books, and make up your mind about
their truth or falsehood, and much good may they do you; and God grant
you may not fall lame of the same foot your guest Don Quixote halts
on."
  "No fear of that," returned the landlord; "I shall not be so mad
as to make a knight-errant of myself; for I see well enough that
things are not now as they used to be in those days, when they say
those famous knights roamed about the world."
  Sancho had made his appearance in the middle of this conversation,
and he was very much troubled and cast down by what he heard said
about knights-errant being now no longer in vogue, and all books of
chivalry being folly and lies; and he resolved in his heart to wait
and see what came of this journey of his master's, and if it did not
turn out as happily as his master expected, he determined to leave him
and go back to his wife and children and his ordinary labour.
  The landlord was carrying away the valise and the books, but the
curate said to him, "Wait; I want to see what those papers are that
are written in such a good hand." The landlord taking them out
handed them to him to read, and he perceived they were a work of about
eight sheets of manuscript, with, in large letters at the beginning,
the title of "Novel of the Ill-advised Curiosity." The curate read
three or four lines to himself, and said, "I must say the title of
this novel does not seem to me a bad one, and I feel an inclination to
read it all." To which the landlord replied, "Then your reverence will
do well to read it, for I can tell you that some guests who have
read it here have been much pleased with it, and have begged it of
me very earnestly; but I would not give it, meaning to return it to
the person who forgot the valise, books, and papers here, for maybe he
will return here some time or other; and though I know I shall miss
the books, faith I mean to return them; for though I am an
innkeeper, still I am a Christian."
  "You are very right, friend," said the curate; "but for all that, if
the novel pleases me you must let me copy it."
  "With all my heart," replied the host.
  While they were talking Cardenio had taken up the novel and begun to
read it, and forming the same opinion of it as the curate, he begged
him to read it so that they might all hear it.
  "I would read it," said the curate, "if the time would not be better
spent in sleeping."
  "It will be rest enough for me," said Dorothea, "to while away the
time by listening to some tale, for my spirits are not yet tranquil
enough to let me sleep when it would be seasonable."
  "Well then, in that case," said the curate, "I will read it, if it
were only out of curiosity; perhaps it may contain something
pleasant."
  Master Nicholas added his entreaties to the same effect, and
Sancho too; seeing which, and considering that he would give
pleasure to all, and receive it himself, the curate said, "Well
then, attend to me everyone, for the novel begins thus."
  CHAPTER XXXIII
  IN WHICH IS RELATED THE NOVEL OF "THE ILL-ADVISED CURIOSITY"

  IN Florence, a rich and famous city of Italy in the province
called Tuscany, there lived two gentlemen of wealth and quality,
Anselmo and Lothario, such great friends that by way of distinction
they were called by all that knew them "The Two Friends." They were
unmarried, young, of the same age and of the same tastes, which was
enough to account for the reciprocal friendship between them. Anselmo,
it is true, was somewhat more inclined to seek pleasure in love than
Lothario, for whom the pleasures of the chase had more attraction; but
on occasion Anselmo would forego his own tastes to yield to those of
Lothario, and Lothario would surrender his to fall in with those of
Anselmo, and in this way their inclinations kept pace one with the
other with a concord so perfect that the best regulated clock could
not surpass it.
  Anselmo was deep in love with a high-born and beautiful maiden of
the same city, the daughter of parents so estimable, and so
estimable herself, that he resolved, with the approval of his friend
Lothario, without whom he did nothing, to ask her of them in marriage,
and did so, Lothario being the bearer of the demand, and conducting
the negotiation so much to the satisfaction of his friend that in a
short time he was in possession of the object of his desires, and
Camilla so happy in having won Anselmo for her husband, that she
gave thanks unceasingly to heaven and to Lothario, by whose means such
good fortune had fallen to her. The first few days, those of a wedding
being usually days of merry-making, Lothario frequented his friend
Anselmo's house as he had been wont, striving to do honour to him
and to the occasion, and to gratify him in every way he could; but
when the wedding days were over and the succession of visits and
congratulations had slackened, he began purposely to leave off going
to the house of Anselmo, for it seemed to him, as it naturally would
to all men of sense, that friends' houses ought not to be visited
after marriage with the same frequency as in their masters' bachelor
days: because, though true and genuine friendship cannot and should
not be in any way suspicious, still a married man's honour is a
thing of such delicacy that it is held liable to injury from brothers,
much more from friends. Anselmo remarked the cessation of Lothario's
visits, and complained of it to him, saying that if he had known
that marriage was to keep him from enjoying his society as he used, he
would have never married; and that, if by the thorough harmony that
subsisted between them while he was a bachelor they had earned such
a sweet name as that of "The Two Friends," he should not allow a title
so rare and so delightful to be lost through a needless anxiety to act
circumspectly; and so he entreated him, if such a phrase was allowable
between them, to be once more master of his house and to come in and
go out as formerly, assuring him that his wife Camilla had no other
desire or inclination than that which he would wish her to have, and
that knowing how sincerely they loved one another she was grieved to
see such coldness in him.
  To all this and much more that Anselmo said to Lothario to
persuade him to come to his house as he had been in the habit of
doing, Lothario replied with so much prudence, sense, and judgment,
that Anselmo was satisfied of his friend's good intentions, and it was
agreed that on two days in the week, and on holidays, Lothario
should come to dine with him; but though this arrangement was made
between them Lothario resolved to observe it no further than he
considered to be in accordance with the honour of his friend, whose
good name was more to him than his own. He said, and justly, that a
married man upon whom heaven had bestowed a beautiful wife should
consider as carefully what friends he brought to his house as what
female friends his wife associated with, for what cannot be done or
arranged in the market-place, in church, at public festivals or at
stations (opportunities that husbands cannot always deny their wives),
may be easily managed in the house of the female friend or relative in
whom most confidence is reposed. Lothario said, too, that every
married man should have some friend who would point out to him any
negligence he might be guilty of in his conduct, for it will sometimes
happen that owing to the deep affection the husband bears his wife
either he does not caution her, or, not to vex her, refrains from
telling her to do or not to do certain things, doing or avoiding which
may be a matter of honour or reproach to him; and errors of this
kind he could easily correct if warned by a friend. But where is
such a friend to be found as Lothario would have, so judicious, so
loyal, and so true?
  Of a truth I know not; Lothario alone was such a one, for with the
utmost care and vigilance he watched over the honour of his friend,
and strove to diminish, cut down, and reduce the number of days for
going to his house according to their agreement, lest the visits of
a young man, wealthy, high-born, and with the attractions he was
conscious of possessing, at the house of a woman so beautiful as
Camilla, should be regarded with suspicion by the inquisitive and
malicious eyes of the idle public. For though his integrity and
reputation might bridle slanderous tongues, still he was unwilling
to hazard either his own good name or that of his friend; and for this
reason most of the days agreed upon he devoted to some other
business which he pretended was unavoidable; so that a great portion
of the day was taken up with complaints on one side and excuses on the
other. It happened, however, that on one occasion when the two were
strolling together outside the city, Anselmo addressed the following
words to Lothario.
  "Thou mayest suppose, Lothario my friend, that I am unable to give
sufficient thanks for the favours God has rendered me in making me the
son of such parents as mine were, and bestowing upon me with no
niggard hand what are called the gifts of nature as well as those of
fortune, and above all for what he has done in giving me thee for a
friend and Camilla for a wife- two treasures that I value, if not as
highly as I ought, at least as highly as I am able. And yet, with
all these good things, which are commonly all that men need to
enable them to live happily, I am the most discontented and
dissatisfied man in the whole world; for, I know not how long since, I
have been harassed and oppressed by a desire so strange and so
unusual, that I wonder at myself and blame and chide myself when I
am alone, and strive to stifle it and hide it from my own thoughts,
and with no better success than if I were endeavouring deliberately to
publish it to all the world; and as, in short, it must come out, I
would confide it to thy safe keeping, feeling sure that by this means,
and by thy readiness as a true friend to afford me relief, I shall
soon find myself freed from the distress it causes me, and that thy
care will give me happiness in the same degree as my own folly has
caused me misery."
  The words of Anselmo struck Lothario with astonishment, unable as he
was to conjecture the purport of such a lengthy preamble; and though
be strove to imagine what desire it could be that so troubled his
friend, his conjectures were all far from the truth, and to relieve
the anxiety which this perplexity was causing him, he told him he
was doing a flagrant injustice to their great friendship in seeking
circuitous methods of confiding to him his most hidden thoughts, for
be well knew he might reckon upon his counsel in diverting them, or
his help in carrying them into effect.
  "That is the truth," replied Anselmo, "and relying upon that I
will tell thee, friend Lothario, that the desire which harasses me
is that of knowing whether my wife Camilla is as good and as perfect
as I think her to be; and I cannot satisfy myself of the truth on this
point except by testing her in such a way that the trial may prove the
purity of her virtue as the fire proves that of gold; because I am
persuaded, my friend, that a woman is virtuous only in proportion as
she is or is not tempted; and that she alone is strong who does not
yield to the promises, gifts, tears, and importunities of earnest
lovers; for what thanks does a woman deserve for being good if no
one urges her to be bad, and what wonder is it that she is reserved
and circumspect to whom no opportunity is given of going wrong and who
knows she has a husband that will take her life the first time he
detects her in an impropriety? I do not therefore hold her who is
virtuous through fear or want of opportunity in the same estimation as
her who comes out of temptation and trial with a crown of victory; and
so, for these reasons and many others that I could give thee to
justify and support the opinion I hold, I am desirous that my wife
Camilla should pass this crisis, and be refined and tested by the fire
of finding herself wooed and by one worthy to set his affections
upon her; and if she comes out, as I know she will, victorious from
this struggle, I shall look upon my good fortune as unequalled, I
shall be able to say that the cup of my desire is full, and that the
virtuous woman of whom the sage says 'Who shall find her?' has
fallen to my lot. And if the result be the contrary of what I
expect, in the satisfaction of knowing that I have been right in my
opinion, I shall bear without complaint the pain which my so dearly
bought experience will naturally cause me. And, as nothing of all thou
wilt urge in opposition to my wish will avail to keep me from carrying
it into effect, it is my desire, friend Lothario, that thou shouldst
consent to become the instrument for effecting this purpose that I
am bent upon, for I will afford thee opportunities to that end, and
nothing shall be wanting that I may think necessary for the pursuit of
a virtuous, honourable, modest and high-minded woman. And among
other reasons, I am induced to entrust this arduous task to thee by
the consideration that if Camilla be conquered by thee the conquest
will not be pushed to extremes, but only far enough to account that
accomplished which from a sense of honour will be left undone; thus
I shall not be wronged in anything more than intention, and my wrong
will remain buried in the integrity of thy silence, which I know
well will be as lasting as that of death in what concerns me. If,
therefore, thou wouldst have me enjoy what can be called life, thou
wilt at once engage in this love struggle, not lukewarmly nor
slothfully, but with the energy and zeal that my desire demands, and
with the loyalty our friendship assures me of."
  Such were the words Anselmo addressed to Lothario, who listened to
them with such attention that, except to say what has been already
mentioned, he did not open his lips until the other had finished. Then
perceiving that he had no more to say, after regarding him for awhile,
as one would regard something never before seen that excited wonder
and amazement, he said to him, "I cannot persuade myself, Anselmo my
friend, that what thou hast said to me is not in jest; if I thought
that thou wert speaking seriously I would not have allowed thee to
go so far; so as to put a stop to thy long harangue by not listening
to thee I verily suspect that either thou dost not know me, or I do
not know thee; but no, I know well thou art Anselmo, and thou
knowest that I am Lothario; the misfortune is, it seems to me, that
thou art not the Anselmo thou wert, and must have thought that I am
not the Lothario I should be; for the things that thou hast said to me
are not those of that Anselmo who was my friend, nor are those that
thou demandest of me what should be asked of the Lothario thou
knowest. True friends will prove their friends and make use of them,
as a poet has said, usque ad aras; whereby he meant that they will not
make use of their friendship in things that are contrary to God's
will. If this, then, was a heathen's feeling about friendship, how
much more should it be a Christian's, who knows that the divine must
not be forfeited for the sake of any human friendship? And if a friend
should go so far as to put aside his duty to Heaven to fulfil his duty
to his friend, it should not be in matters that are trifling or of
little moment, but in such as affect the friend's life and honour. Now
tell me, Anselmo, in which of these two art thou imperilled, that I
should hazard myself to gratify thee, and do a thing so detestable
as that thou seekest of me? Neither forsooth; on the contrary, thou
dost ask of me, so far as I understand, to strive and labour to rob
thee of honour and life, and to rob myself of them at the same time;
for if I take away thy honour it is plain I take away thy life, as a
man without honour is worse than dead; and being the instrument, as
thou wilt have it so, of so much wrong to thee, shall not I, too, be
left without honour, and consequently without life? Listen to me,
Anselmo my friend, and be not impatient to answer me until I have said
what occurs to me touching the object of thy desire, for there will be
time enough left for thee to reply and for me to hear."
  "Be it so," said Anselmo, "say what thou wilt."
  Lothario then went on to say, "It seems to me, Anselmo, that thine
is just now the temper of mind which is always that of the Moors,
who can never be brought to see the error of their creed by quotations
from the Holy Scriptures, or by reasons which depend upon the
examination of the understanding or are founded upon the articles of
faith, but must have examples that are palpable, easy, intelligible,
capable of proof, not admitting of doubt, with mathematical
demonstrations that cannot be denied, like, 'If equals be taken from
equals, the remainders are equal:' and if they do not understand
this in words, and indeed they do not, it has to be shown to them with
the hands, and put before their eyes, and even with all this no one
succeeds in convincing them of the truth of our holy religion. This
same mode of proceeding I shall have to adopt with thee, for the
desire which has sprung up in thee is so absurd and remote from
everything that has a semblance of reason, that I feel it would be a
waste of time to employ it in reasoning with thy simplicity, for at
present I will call it by no other name; and I am even tempted to
leave thee in thy folly as a punishment for thy pernicious desire; but
the friendship I bear thee, which will not allow me to desert thee
in such manifest danger of destruction, keeps me from dealing so
harshly by thee. And that thou mayest clearly see this, say,
Anselmo, hast thou not told me that I must force my suit upon a modest
woman, decoy one that is virtuous, make overtures to one that is
pure-minded, pay court to one that is prudent? Yes, thou hast told
me so. Then, if thou knowest that thou hast a wife, modest,
virtuous, pure-minded and prudent, what is it that thou seekest? And
if thou believest that she will come forth victorious from all my
attacks- as doubtless she would- what higher titles than those she
possesses now dost thou think thou canst upon her then, or in what
will she be better then than she is now? Either thou dost not hold her
to be what thou sayest, or thou knowest not what thou dost demand.
If thou dost not hold her to be what thou why dost thou seek to
prove her instead of treating her as guilty in the way that may seem
best to thee? but if she be as virtuous as thou believest, it is an
uncalled-for proceeding to make trial of truth itself, for, after
trial, it will but be in the same estimation as before. Thus, then, it
is conclusive that to attempt things from which harm rather than
advantage may come to us is the part of unreasoning and reckless
minds, more especially when they are things which we are not forced or
compelled to attempt, and which show from afar that it is plainly
madness to attempt them.
  "Difficulties are attempted either for the sake of God or for the
sake of the world, or for both; those undertaken for God's sake are
those which the saints undertake when they attempt to live the lives
of angels in human bodies; those undertaken for the sake of the
world are those of the men who traverse such a vast expanse of
water, such a variety of climates, so many strange countries, to
acquire what are called the blessings of fortune; and those undertaken
for the sake of God and the world together are those of brave
soldiers, who no sooner do they see in the enemy's wall a breach as
wide as a cannon ball could make, than, casting aside all fear,
without hesitating, or heeding the manifest peril that threatens them,
borne onward by the desire of defending their faith, their country,
and their king, they fling themselves dauntlessly into the midst of
the thousand opposing deaths that await them. Such are the things that
men are wont to attempt, and there is honour, glory, gain, in
attempting them, however full of difficulty and peril they may be; but
that which thou sayest it is thy wish to attempt and carry out will
not win thee the glory of God nor the blessings of fortune nor fame
among men; for even if the issue he as thou wouldst have it, thou wilt
be no happier, richer, or more honoured than thou art this moment; and
if it be otherwise thou wilt be reduced to misery greater than can
be imagined, for then it will avail thee nothing to reflect that no
one is aware of the misfortune that has befallen thee; it will suffice
to torture and crush thee that thou knowest it thyself. And in
confirmation of the truth of what I say, let me repeat to thee a
stanza made by the famous poet Luigi Tansillo at the end of the
first part of his 'Tears of Saint Peter,' which says thus:

   The anguish and the shame but greater grew
     In Peter's heart as morning slowly came;
   No eye was there to see him, well he knew,
     Yet he himself was to himself a shame;
   Exposed to all men's gaze, or screened from view,
     A noble heart will feel the pang the same;
   A prey to shame the sinning soul will be,
   Though none but heaven and earth its shame can see.

Thus by keeping it secret thou wilt not escape thy sorrow, but
rather thou wilt shed tears unceasingly, if not tears of the eyes,
tears of blood from the heart, like those shed by that simple doctor
our poet tells us of, that tried the test of the cup, which the wise
Rinaldo, better advised, refused to do; for though this may be a
poetic fiction it contains a moral lesson worthy of attention and
study and imitation. Moreover by what I am about to say to thee thou
wilt be led to see the great error thou wouldst commit.
  "Tell me, Anselmo, if Heaven or good fortune had made thee master
and lawful owner of a diamond of the finest quality, with the
excellence and purity of which all the lapidaries that had seen it had
been satisfied, saying with one voice and common consent that in
purity, quality, and fineness, it was all that a stone of the kind
could possibly be, thou thyself too being of the same belief, as
knowing nothing to the contrary, would it be reasonable in thee to
desire to take that diamond and place it between an anvil and a
hammer, and by mere force of blows and strength of arm try if it
were as hard and as fine as they said? And if thou didst, and if the
stone should resist so silly a test, that would add nothing to its
value or reputation; and if it were broken, as it might be, would
not all be lost? Undoubtedly it would, leaving its owner to be rated
as a fool in the opinion of all. Consider, then, Anselmo my friend,
that Camilla is a diamond of the finest quality as well in thy
estimation as in that of others, and that it is contrary to reason
to expose her to the risk of being broken; for if she remains intact
she cannot rise to a higher value than she now possesses; and if she
give way and be unable to resist, bethink thee now how thou wilt be
deprived of her, and with what good reason thou wilt complain of
thyself for having been the cause of her ruin and thine own.
Remember there is no jewel in the world so precious as a chaste and
virtuous woman, and that the whole honour of women consists in
reputation; and since thy wife's is of that high excellence that
thou knowest, wherefore shouldst thou seek to call that truth in
question? Remember, my friend, that woman is an imperfect animal,
and that impediments are not to be placed in her way to make her
trip and fall, but that they should be removed, and her path left
clear of all obstacles, so that without hindrance she may run her
course freely to attain the desired perfection, which consists in
being virtuous. Naturalists tell us that the ermine is a little animal
which has a fur of purest white, and that when the hunters wish to
take it, they make use of this artifice. Having ascertained the places
which it frequents and passes, they stop the way to them with mud, and
then rousing it, drive it towards the spot, and as soon as the
ermine comes to the mud it halts, and allows itself to be taken
captive rather than pass through the mire, and spoil and sully its
whiteness, which it values more than life and liberty. The virtuous
and chaste woman is an ermine, and whiter and purer than snow is the
virtue of modesty; and he who wishes her not to lose it, but to keep
and preserve it, must adopt a course different from that employed with
the ermine; he must not put before her the mire of the gifts and
attentions of persevering lovers, because perhaps- and even without
a perhaps- she may not have sufficient virtue and natural strength
in herself to pass through and tread under foot these impediments;
they must be removed, and the brightness of virtue and the beauty of a
fair fame must be put before her. A virtuous woman, too, is like a
mirror, of clear shining crystal, liable to be tarnished and dimmed by
every breath that touches it. She must be treated as relics are;
adored, not touched. She must be protected and prized as one
protects and prizes a fair garden full of roses and flowers, the owner
of which allows no one to trespass or pluck a blossom; enough for
others that from afar and through the iron grating they may enjoy
its fragrance and its beauty. Finally let me repeat to thee some
verses that come to my mind; I heard them in a modern comedy, and it
seems to me they bear upon the point we are discussing. A prudent
old man was giving advice to another, the father of a young girl, to
lock her up, watch over her and keep her in seclusion, and among other
arguments he used these:

       Woman is a thing of glass;
         But her brittleness 'tis best
         Not too curiously to test:
       Who knows what may come to pass?

       Breaking is an easy matter,
         And it's folly to expose
         What you cannot mend to blows;
       What you can't make whole to shatter.

       This, then, all may hold as true,
         And the reason's plain to see;
         For if Danaes there be,
       There are golden showers too.

  "All that I have said to thee so far, Anselmo, has had reference
to what concerns thee; now it is right that I should say something
of what regards myself; and if I be prolix, pardon me, for the
labyrinth into which thou hast entered and from which thou wouldst
have me extricate thee makes it necessary.
  "Thou dost reckon me thy friend, and thou wouldst rob me of
honour, a thing wholly inconsistent with friendship; and not only dost
thou aim at this, but thou wouldst have me rob thee of it also. That
thou wouldst rob me of it is clear, for when Camilla sees that I pay
court to her as thou requirest, she will certainly regard me as a
man without honour or right feeling, since I attempt and do a thing so
much opposed to what I owe to my own position and thy friendship. That
thou wouldst have me rob thee of it is beyond a doubt, for Camilla,
seeing that I press my suit upon her, will suppose that I have
perceived in her something light that has encouraged me to make
known to her my base desire; and if she holds herself dishonoured, her
dishonour touches thee as belonging to her; and hence arises what so
commonly takes place, that the husband of the adulterous woman, though
he may not be aware of or have given any cause for his wife's
failure in her duty, or (being careless or negligent) have had it in
his power to prevent his dishonour, nevertheless is stigmatised by a
vile and reproachful name, and in a manner regarded with eyes of
contempt instead of pity by all who know of his wife's guilt, though
they see that he is unfortunate not by his own fault, but by the
lust of a vicious consort. But I will tell thee why with good reason
dishonour attaches to the husband of the unchaste wife, though he know
not that she is so, nor be to blame, nor have done anything, or
given any provocation to make her so; and be not weary with
listening to me, for it will be for thy good.
  "When God created our first parent in the earthly paradise, the Holy
Scripture says that he infused sleep into Adam and while he slept took
a rib from his left side of which he formed our mother Eve, and when
Adam awoke and beheld her he said, 'This is flesh of my flesh, and
bone of my bone.' And God said 'For this shall a man leave his
father and his mother, and they shall be two in one flesh; and then
was instituted the divine sacrament of marriage, with such ties that
death alone can loose them. And such is the force and virtue of this
miraculous sacrament that it makes two different persons one and the
same flesh; and even more than this when the virtuous are married; for
though they have two souls they have but one will. And hence it
follows that as the flesh of the wife is one and the same with that of
her husband the stains that may come upon it, or the injuries it
incurs fall upon the husband's flesh, though he, as has been said, may
have given no cause for them; for as the pain of the foot or any
member of the body is felt by the whole body, because all is one
flesh, as the head feels the hurt to the ankle without having caused
it, so the husband, being one with her, shares the dishonour of the
wife; and as all worldly honour or dishonour comes of flesh and blood,
and the erring wife's is of that kind, the husband must needs bear his
part of it and be held dishonoured without knowing it. See, then,
Anselmo, the peril thou art encountering in seeking to disturb the
peace of thy virtuous consort; see for what an empty and ill-advised
curiosity thou wouldst rouse up passions that now repose in quiet in
the breast of thy chaste wife; reflect that what thou art staking
all to win is little, and what thou wilt lose so much that I leave
it undescribed, not having the words to express it. But if all I
have said be not enough to turn thee from thy vile purpose, thou
must seek some other instrument for thy dishonour and misfortune;
for such I will not consent to be, though I lose thy friendship, the
greatest loss that I can conceive."
  Having said this, the wise and virtuous Lothario was silent, and
Anselmo, troubled in mind and deep in thought, was unable for a
while to utter a word in reply; but at length he said, "I have
listened, Lothario my friend, attentively, as thou hast seen, to
what thou hast chosen to say to me, and in thy arguments, examples,
and comparisons I have seen that high intelligence thou dost
possess, and the perfection of true friendship thou hast reached;
and likewise I see and confess that if I am not guided by thy opinion,
but follow my own, I am flying from the good and pursuing the evil.
This being so, thou must remember that I am now labouring under that
infirmity which women sometimes suffer from, when the craving seizes
them to eat clay, plaster, charcoal, and things even worse, disgusting
to look at, much more to eat; so that it will be necessary to have
recourse to some artifice to cure me; and this can be easily
effected if only thou wilt make a beginning, even though it be in a
lukewarm and make-believe fashion, to pay court to Camilla, who will
not be so yielding that her virtue will give way at the first
attack: with this mere attempt I shall rest satisfied, and thou wilt
have done what our friendship binds thee to do, not only in giving
me life, but in persuading me not to discard my honour. And this
thou art bound to do for one reason alone, that, being, as I am,
resolved to apply this test, it is not for thee to permit me to reveal
my weakness to another, and so imperil that honour thou art striving
to keep me from losing; and if thine may not stand as high as it ought
in the estimation of Camilla while thou art paying court to her,
that is of little or no importance, because ere long, on finding in
her that constancy which we expect, thou canst tell her the plain
truth as regards our stratagem, and so regain thy place in her esteem;
and as thou art venturing so little, and by the venture canst afford
me so much satisfaction, refuse not to undertake it, even if further
difficulties present themselves to thee; for, as I have said, if
thou wilt only make a beginning I will acknowledge the issue decided."
  Lothario seeing the fixed determination of Anselmo, and not
knowing what further examples to offer or arguments to urge in order
to dissuade him from it, and perceiving that he threatened to
confide his pernicious scheme to some one else, to avoid a greater
evil resolved to gratify him and do what he asked, intending to manage
the business so as to satisfy Anselmo without corrupting the mind of
Camilla; so in reply he told him not to communicate his purpose to any
other, for he would undertake the task himself, and would begin it
as soon as he pleased. Anselmo embraced him warmly and affectionately,
and thanked him for his offer as if he had bestowed some great
favour upon him; and it was agreed between them to set about it the
next day, Anselmo affording opportunity and time to Lothario to
converse alone with Camilla, and furnishing him with money and
jewels to offer and present to her. He suggested, too, that he
should treat her to music, and write verses in her praise, and if he
was unwilling to take the trouble of composing them, he offered to
do it himself. Lothario agreed to all with an intention very different
from what Anselmo supposed, and with this understanding they
returned to Anselmo's house, where they found Camilla awaiting her
husband anxiously and uneasily, for he was later than usual in
returning that day. Lothario repaired to his own house, and Anselmo
remained in his, as well satisfied as Lothario was troubled in mind;
for he could see no satisfactory way out of this ill-advised business.
That night, however, he thought of a plan by which he might deceive
Anselmo without any injury to Camilla. The next day he went to dine
with his friend, and was welcomed by Camilla, who received and treated
him with great cordiality, knowing the affection her husband felt
for him. When dinner was over and the cloth removed, Anselmo told
Lothario to stay there with Camilla while he attended to some pressing
business, as he would return in an hour and a half. Camilla begged him
not to go, and Lothario offered to accompany him, but nothing could
persuade Anselmo, who on the contrary pressed Lothario to remain
waiting for him as he had a matter of great importance to discuss with
him. At the same time he bade Camilla not to leave Lothario alone
until he came back. In short he contrived to put so good a face on the
reason, or the folly, of his absence that no one could have
suspected it was a pretence.
  Anselmo took his departure, and Camilla and Lothario were left alone
at the table, for the rest of the household had gone to dinner.
Lothario saw himself in the lists according to his friend's wish,
and facing an enemy that could by her beauty alone vanquish a squadron
of armed knights; judge whether he had good reason to fear; but what
he did was to lean his elbow on the arm of the chair, and his cheek
upon his hand, and, asking Camilla's pardon for his ill manners, he
said he wished to take a little sleep until Anselmo returned.
Camilla in reply said he could repose more at his ease in the
reception-room than in his chair, and begged of him to go in and sleep
there; but Lothario declined, and there he remained asleep until the
return of Anselmo, who finding Camilla in her own room, and Lothario
asleep, imagined that he had stayed away so long as to have afforded
them time enough for conversation and even for sleep, and was all
impatience until Lothario should wake up, that he might go out with
him and question him as to his success. Everything fell out as he
wished; Lothario awoke, and the two at once left the house, and
Anselmo asked what he was anxious to know, and Lothario in answer told
him that he had not thought it advisable to declare himself entirely
the first time, and therefore had only extolled the charms of Camilla,
telling her that all the city spoke of nothing else but her beauty and
wit, for this seemed to him an excellent way of beginning to gain
her good-will and render her disposed to listen to him with pleasure
the next time, thus availing himself of the device the devil has
recourse to when he would deceive one who is on the watch; for he
being the angel of darkness transforms himself into an angel of light,
and, under cover of a fair seeming, discloses himself at length, and
effects his purpose if at the beginning his wiles are not
discovered. All this gave great satisfaction to Anselmo, and he said
he would afford the same opportunity every day, but without leaving
the house, for he would find things to do at home so that Camilla
should not detect the plot.
  Thus, then, several days went by, and Lothario, without uttering a
word to Camilla, reported to Anselmo that he had talked with her and
that he had never been able to draw from her the slightest
indication of consent to anything dishonourable, nor even a sign or
shadow of hope; on the contrary, he said she would inform her
husband of it.
  "So far well," said Anselmo; "Camilla has thus far resisted words;
we must now see how she will resist deeds. I will give you to-morrow
two thousand crowns in gold for you to offer or even present, and as
many more to buy jewels to lure her, for women are fond of being
becomingly attired and going gaily dressed, and all the more so if
they are beautiful, however chaste they may be; and if she resists
this temptation, I will rest satisfied and will give you no more
trouble."
  Lothario replied that now he had begun he would carry on the
undertaking to the end, though he perceived he was to come out of it
wearied and vanquished. The next day he received the four thousand
crowns, and with them four thousand perplexities, for he knew not what
to say by way of a new falsehood; but in the end he made up his mind
to tell him that Camilla stood as firm against gifts and promises as
against words, and that there was no use in taking any further
trouble, for the time was all spent to no purpose.
  But chance, directing things in a different manner, so ordered it
that Anselmo, having left Lothario and Camilla alone as on other
occasions, shut himself into a chamber and posted himself to watch and
listen through the keyhole to what passed between them, and
perceived that for more than half an hour Lothario did not utter a
word to Camilla, nor would utter a word though he were to be there for
an age; and he came to the conclusion that what his friend had told
him about the replies of Camilla was all invention and falsehood,
and to ascertain if it were so, he came out, and calling Lothario
aside asked him what news he had and in what humour Camilla was.
Lothario replied that he was not disposed to go on with the
business, for she had answered him so angrily and harshly that he
had no heart to say anything more to her.
  "Ah, Lothario, Lothario," said Anselmo, "how ill dost thou meet
thy obligations to me, and the great confidence I repose in thee! I
have been just now watching through this keyhole, and I have seen that
thou has not said a word to Camilla, whence I conclude that on the
former occasions thou hast not spoken to her either, and if this be
so, as no doubt it is, why dost thou deceive me, or wherefore
seekest thou by craft to deprive me of the means I might find of
attaining my desire?"
  Anselmo said no more, but he had said enough to cover Lothario
with shame and confusion, and he, feeling as it were his honour
touched by having been detected in a lie, swore to Anselmo that he
would from that moment devote himself to satisfying him without any
deception, as he would see if he had the curiosity to watch; though he
need not take the trouble, for the pains he would take to satisfy
him would remove all suspicions from his mind. Anselmo believed him,
and to afford him an opportunity more free and less liable to
surprise, he resolved to absent himself from his house for eight days,
betaking himself to that of a friend of his who lived in a village not
far from the city; and, the better to account for his departure to
Camilla, he so arranged it that the friend should send him a very
pressing invitation.
  Unhappy, shortsighted Anselmo, what art thou doing, what art thou
plotting, what art thou devising? Bethink thee thou art working
against thyself, plotting thine own dishonour, devising thine own
ruin. Thy wife Camilla is virtuous, thou dost possess her in peace and
quietness, no one assails thy happiness, her thoughts wander not
beyond the walls of thy house, thou art her heaven on earth, the
object of her wishes, the fulfilment of her desires, the measure
wherewith she measures her will, making it conform in all things to
thine and Heaven's. If, then, the mine of her honour, beauty,
virtue, and modesty yields thee without labour all the wealth it
contains and thou canst wish for, why wilt thou dig the earth in
search of fresh veins, of new unknown treasure, risking the collapse
of all, since it but rests on the feeble props of her weak nature?
Bethink thee that from him who seeks impossibilities that which is
possible may with justice be withheld, as was better expressed by a
poet who said:

       'Tis mine to seek for life in death,
         Health in disease seek I,
       I seek in prison freedom's breath,
         In traitors loyalty.

       So Fate that ever scorns to grant
         Or grace or boon to me,
       Since what can never be I want,
         Denies me what might be.

  The next day Anselmo took his departure for the village, leaving
instructions with Camilla that during his absence Lothario would
come to look after his house and to dine with her, and that she was to
treat him as she would himself. Camilla was distressed, as a
discreet and right-minded woman would be, at the orders her husband
left her, and bade him remember that it was not becoming that anyone
should occupy his seat at the table during his absence, and if he
acted thus from not feeling confidence that she would be able to
manage his house, let him try her this time, and he would find by
experience that she was equal to greater responsibilities. Anselmo
replied that it was his pleasure to have it so, and that she had
only to submit and obey. Camilla said she would do so, though
against her will.
  Anselmo went, and the next day Lothario came to his house, where
he was received by Camilla with a friendly and modest welcome; but she
never suffered Lothario to see her alone, for she was always
attended by her men and women servants, especially by a handmaid of
hers, Leonela by name, to whom she was much attached (for they had
been brought up together from childhood in her father's house), and
whom she had kept with her after her marriage with Anselmo. The
first three days Lothario did not speak to her, though he might have
done so when they removed the cloth and the servants retired to dine
hastily; for such were Camilla's orders; nay more, Leonela had
directions to dine earlier than Camilla and never to leave her side.
She, however, having her thoughts fixed upon other things more to
her taste, and wanting that time and opportunity for her own
pleasures, did not always obey her mistress's commands, but on the
contrary left them alone, as if they had ordered her to do so; but the
modest bearing of Camilla, the calmness of her countenance, the
composure of her aspect were enough to bridle the tongue of
Lothario. But the influence which the many virtues of Camilla
exerted in imposing silence on Lothario's tongue proved mischievous
for both of them, for if his tongue was silent his thoughts were busy,
and could dwell at leisure upon the perfections of Camilla's
goodness and beauty one by one, charms enough to warm with love a
marble statue, not to say a heart of flesh. Lothario gazed upon her
when he might have been speaking to her, and thought how worthy of
being loved she was; and thus reflection began little by little to
assail his allegiance to Anselmo, and a thousand times he thought of
withdrawing from the city and going where Anselmo should never see him
nor he see Camilla. But already the delight he found in gazing on
her interposed and held him fast. He put a constraint upon himself,
and struggled to repel and repress the pleasure he found in
contemplating Camilla; when alone he blamed himself for his
weakness, called himself a bad friend, nay a bad Christian; then he
argued the matter and compared himself with Anselmo; always coming
to the conclusion that the folly and rashness of Anselmo had been
worse than his faithlessness, and that if he could excuse his
intentions as easily before God as with man, he had no reason to
fear any punishment for his offence.
  In short the beauty and goodness of Camilla, joined with the
opportunity which the blind husband had placed in his hands, overthrew
the loyalty of Lothario; and giving heed to nothing save the object
towards which his inclinations led him, after Anselmo had been three
days absent, during which he had been carrying on a continual struggle
with his passion, he began to make love to Camilla with so much
vehemence and warmth of language that she was overwhelmed with
amazement, and could only rise from her place and retire to her room
without answering him a word. But the hope which always springs up
with love was not weakened in Lothario by this repelling demeanour; on
the contrary his passion for Camilla increased, and she discovering in
him what she had never expected, knew not what to do; and
considering it neither safe nor right to give him the chance or
opportunity of speaking to her again, she resolved to send, as she did
that very night, one of her servants with a letter to Anselmo, in
which she addressed the following words to him.
  CHAPTER XXXIV
  IN WHICH IS CONTINUED THE NOVEL OF "THE ILL-ADVISED CURIOSITY"

  "IT is commonly said that an army looks ill without its general
and a castle without its castellan, and I say that a young married
woman looks still worse without her husband unless there are very good
reasons for it. I find myself so ill at ease without you, and so
incapable of enduring this separation, that unless you return
quickly I shall have to go for relief to my parents' house, even if
I leave yours without a protector; for the one you left me, if
indeed he deserved that title, has, I think, more regard to his own
pleasure than to what concerns you: as you are possessed of
discernment I need say no more to you, nor indeed is it fitting I
should say more."
  Anselmo received this letter, and from it he gathered that
Lothario had already begun his task and that Camilla must have replied
to him as he would have wished; and delighted beyond measure at such
intelligence he sent word to her not to leave his house on any
account, as he would very shortly return. Camilla was astonished at
Anselmo's reply, which placed her in greater perplexity than before,
for she neither dared to remain in her own house, nor yet to go to her
parents'; for in remaining her virtue was imperilled, and in going she
was opposing her husband's commands. Finally she decided upon what was
the worse course for her, to remain, resolving not to fly from the
presence of Lothario, that she might not give food for gossip to her
servants; and she now began to regret having written as she had to her
husband, fearing he might imagine that Lothario had perceived in her
some lightness which had impelled him to lay aside the respect he owed
her; but confident of her rectitude she put her trust in God and in
her own virtuous intentions, with which she hoped to resist in silence
all the solicitations of Lothario, without saying anything to her
husband so as not to involve him in any quarrel or trouble; and she
even began to consider how to excuse Lothario to Anselmo when he
should ask her what it was that induced her to write that letter. With
these resolutions, more honourable than judicious or effectual, she
remained the next day listening to Lothario, who pressed his suit so
strenuously that Camilla's firmness began to waver, and her virtue had
enough to do to come to the rescue of her eyes and keep them from
showing signs of a certain tender compassion which the tears and
appeals of Lothario had awakened in her bosom. Lothario observed all
this, and it inflamed him all the more. In short he felt that while
Anselmo's absence afforded time and opportunity he must press the
siege of the fortress, and so he assailed her self-esteem with praises
of her beauty, for there is nothing that more quickly reduces and
levels the castle towers of fair women's vanity than vanity itself
upon the tongue of flattery. In fact with the utmost assiduity he
undermined the rock of her purity with such engines that had Camilla
been of brass she must have fallen. He wept, he entreated, he
promised, he flattered, he importuned, he pretended with so much
feeling and apparent sincerity, that he overthrew the virtuous
resolves of Camilla and won the triumph he least expected and most
longed for. Camilla yielded, Camilla fell; but what wonder if the
friendship of Lothario could not stand firm? A clear proof to us
that the passion of love is to be conquered only by flying from it,
and that no one should engage in a struggle with an enemy so mighty;
for divine strength is needed to overcome his human power. Leonela
alone knew of her mistress's weakness, for the two false friends and
new lovers were unable to conceal it. Lothario did not care to tell
Camilla the object Anselmo had in view, nor that he had afforded him
the opportunity of attaining such a result, lest she should undervalue
his love and think that it was by chance and without intending it
and not of his own accord that he had made love to her.
  A few days later Anselmo returned to his house and did not
perceive what it had lost, that which he so lightly treated and so
highly prized. He went at once to see Lothario, and found him at home;
they embraced each other, and Anselmo asked for the tidings of his
life or his death.
  "The tidings I have to give thee, Anselmo my friend," said Lothario,
"are that thou dost possess a wife that is worthy to be the pattern
and crown of all good wives. The words that I have addressed to her
were borne away on the wind, my promises have been despised, my
presents have been refused, such feigned tears as I shed have been
turned into open ridicule. In short, as Camilla is the essence of
all beauty, so is she the treasure-house where purity dwells, and
gentleness and modesty abide with all the virtues that can confer
praise, honour, and happiness upon a woman. Take back thy money, my
friend; here it is, and I have had no need to touch it, for the
chastity of Camilla yields not to things so base as gifts or promises.
Be content, Anselmo, and refrain from making further proof; and as
thou hast passed dryshod through the sea of those doubts and
suspicions that are and may be entertained of women, seek not to
plunge again into the deep ocean of new embarrassments, or with
another pilot make trial of the goodness and strength of the bark that
Heaven has granted thee for thy passage across the sea of this
world; but reckon thyself now safe in port, moor thyself with the
anchor of sound reflection, and rest in peace until thou art called
upon to pay that debt which no nobility on earth can escape paying."
  Anselmo was completely satisfied by the words of Lothario, and
believed them as fully as if they had been spoken by an oracle;
nevertheless he begged of him not to relinquish the undertaking,
were it but for the sake of curiosity and amusement; though
thenceforward he need not make use of the same earnest endeavours as
before; all he wished him to do was to write some verses to her,
praising her under the name of Chloris, for he himself would give
her to understand that he was in love with a lady to whom he had given
that name to enable him to sing her praises with the decorum due to
her modesty; and if Lothario were unwilling to take the trouble of
writing the verses he would compose them himself.
  "That will not be necessary," said Lothario, "for the muses are
not such enemies of mine but that they visit me now and then in the
course of the year. Do thou tell Camilla what thou hast proposed about
a pretended amour of mine; as for the verses will make them, and if
not as good as the subject deserves, they shall be at least the best I
can produce." An agreement to this effect was made between the
friends, the ill-advised one and the treacherous, and Anselmo
returning to his house asked Camilla the question she already wondered
he had not asked before- what it was that had caused her to write
the letter she had sent him. Camilla replied that it had seemed to her
that Lothario looked at her somewhat more freely than when he had been
at home; but that now she was undeceived and believed it to have
been only her own imagination, for Lothario now avoided seeing her, or
being alone with her. Anselmo told her she might be quite easy on
the score of that suspicion, for he knew that Lothario was in love
with a damsel of rank in the city whom he celebrated under the name of
Chloris, and that even if he were not, his fidelity and their great
friendship left no room for fear. Had not Camilla, however, been
informed beforehand by Lothario that this love for Chloris was a
pretence, and that he himself had told Anselmo of it in order to be
able sometimes to give utterance to the praises of Camilla herself, no
doubt she would have fallen into the despairing toils of jealousy; but
being forewarned she received the startling news without uneasiness.
  The next day as the three were at table Anselmo asked Lothario to
recite something of what he had composed for his mistress Chloris; for
as Camilla did not know her, he might safely say what he liked.
  "Even did she know her," returned Lothario, "I would hide nothing,
for when a lover praises his lady's beauty, and charges her with
cruelty, he casts no imputation upon her fair name; at any rate, all I
can say is that yesterday I made a sonnet on the ingratitude of this
Chloris, which goes thus:

                        SONNET

     At midnight, in the silence, when the eyes
       Of happier mortals balmy slumbers close,
       The weary tale of my unnumbered woes
     To Chloris and to Heaven is wont to rise.
     And when the light of day returning dyes
       The portals of the east with tints of rose,
       With undiminished force my sorrow flows
     In broken accents and in burning sighs.
     And when the sun ascends his star-girt throne,
       And on the earth pours down his midday beams,
         Noon but renews my wailing and my tears;
     And with the night again goes up my moan.
       Yet ever in my agony it seems
         To me that neither Heaven nor Chloris hears."

  The sonnet pleased Camilla, and still more Anselmo, for he praised
it and said the lady was excessively cruel who made no return for
sincerity so manifest. On which Camilla said, "Then all that
love-smitten poets say is true?"
  "As poets they do not tell the truth," replied Lothario; "but as
lovers they are not more defective in expression than they are
truthful."
  "There is no doubt of that," observed Anselmo, anxious to support
and uphold Lothario's ideas with Camilla, who was as regardless of his
design as she was deep in love with Lothario; and so taking delight in
anything that was his, and knowing that his thoughts and writings
had her for their object, and that she herself was the real Chloris,
she asked him to repeat some other sonnet or verses if he
recollected any.
  "I do," replied Lothario, "but I do not think it as good as the
first one, or, more correctly speaking, less bad; but you can easily
judge, for it is this.

                        SONNET

     I know that I am doomed; death is to me
       As certain as that thou, ungrateful fair,
       Dead at thy feet shouldst see me lying, ere
     My heart repented of its love for thee.
     If buried in oblivion I should be,
       Bereft of life, fame, favour, even there
       It would be found that I thy image bear
     Deep graven in my breast for all to see.
     This like some holy relic do I prize
       To save me from the fate my truth entails,
         Truth that to thy hard heart its vigour owes.
     Alas for him that under lowering skies,
       In peril o'er a trackless ocean sails,
         Where neither friendly port nor pole-star shows."

  Anselmo praised this second sonnet too, as he had praised the first;
and so he went on adding link after link to the chain with which he
was binding himself and making his dishonour secure; for when Lothario
was doing most to dishonour him he told him he was most honoured;
and thus each step that Camilla descended towards the depths of her
abasement, she mounted, in his opinion, towards the summit of virtue
and fair fame.
  It so happened that finding herself on one occasion alone with her
maid, Camilla said to her, "I am ashamed to think, my dear Leonela,
how lightly I have valued myself that I did not compel Lothario to
purchase by at least some expenditure of time that full possession
of me that I so quickly yielded him of my own free will. I fear that
he will think ill of my pliancy or lightness, not considering the
irresistible influence he brought to bear upon me."
  "Let not that trouble you, my lady," said Leonela, "for it does
not take away the value of the thing given or make it the less
precious to give it quickly if it be really valuable and worthy of
being prized; nay, they are wont to say that he who gives quickly
gives twice."
  "They say also," said Camilla, "that what costs little is valued
less."
  "That saying does not hold good in your case," replied Leonela, "for
love, as I have heard say, sometimes flies and sometimes walks; with
this one it runs, with that it moves slowly; some it cools, others
it burns; some it wounds, others it slays; it begins the course of its
desires, and at the same moment completes and ends it; in the
morning it will lay siege to a fortress and by night will have taken
it, for there is no power that can resist it; so what are you in dread
of, what do you fear, when the same must have befallen Lothario,
love having chosen the absence of my lord as the instrument for
subduing you? and it was absolutely necessary to complete then what
love had resolved upon, without affording the time to let Anselmo
return and by his presence compel the work to be left unfinished;
for love has no better agent for carrying out his designs than
opportunity; and of opportunity he avails himself in all his feats,
especially at the outset. All this I know well myself, more by
experience than by hearsay, and some day, senora, I will enlighten you
on the subject, for I am of your flesh and blood too. Moreover, lady
Camilla, you did not surrender yourself or yield so quickly but that
first you saw Lothario's whole soul in his eyes, in his sighs, in
his words, his promises and his gifts, and by it and his good
qualities perceived how worthy he was of your love. This, then,
being the case, let not these scrupulous and prudish ideas trouble
your imagination, but be assured that Lothario prizes you as you do
him, and rest content and satisfied that as you are caught in the
noose of love it is one of worth and merit that has taken you, and one
that has not only the four S's that they say true lovers ought to
have, but a complete alphabet; only listen to me and you will see
how I can repeat it by rote. He is to my eyes and thinking, Amiable,
Brave, Courteous, Distinguished, Elegant, Fond, Gay, Honourable,
Illustrious, Loyal, Manly, Noble, Open, Polite, Quickwitted, Rich, and
the S's according to the saying, and then Tender, Veracious: X does
not suit him, for it is a rough letter; Y has been given already;
and Z Zealous for your honour."
  Camilla laughed at her maid's alphabet, and perceived her to be more
experienced in love affairs than she said, which she admitted,
confessing to Camilla that she had love passages with a young man of
good birth of the same city. Camilla was uneasy at this, dreading lest
it might prove the means of endangering her honour, and asked
whether her intrigue had gone beyond words, and she with little
shame and much effrontery said it had; for certain it is that
ladies' imprudences make servants shameless, who, when they see
their mistresses make a false step, think nothing of going astray
themselves, or of its being known. All that Camilla could do was to
entreat Leonela to say nothing about her doings to him whom she called
her lover, and to conduct her own affairs secretly lest they should
come to the knowledge of Anselmo or of Lothario. Leonela said she
would, but kept her word in such a way that she confirmed Camilla's
apprehension of losing her reputation through her means; for this
abandoned and bold Leonela, as soon as she perceived that her
mistress's demeanour was not what it was wont to be, had the
audacity to introduce her lover into the house, confident that even if
her mistress saw him she would not dare to expose him; for the sins of
mistresses entail this mischief among others; they make themselves the
slaves of their own servants, and are obliged to hide their laxities
and depravities; as was the case with Camilla, who though she
perceived, not once but many times, that Leonela was with her lover in
some room of the house, not only did not dare to chide her, but
afforded her opportunities for concealing him and removed all
difficulties, lest he should be seen by her husband. She was unable,
however, to prevent him from being seen on one occasion, as he sallied
forth at daybreak, by Lothario, who, not knowing who he was, at
first took him for a spectre; but, as soon as he saw him hasten
away, muffling his face with his cloak and concealing himself
carefully and cautiously, he rejected this foolish idea, and adopted
another, which would have been the ruin of all had not Camilla found a
remedy. It did not occur to Lothario that this man he had seen issuing
at such an untimely hour from Anselmo's house could have entered it on
Leonela's account, nor did he even remember there was such a person as
Leonela; all he thought was that as Camilla had been light and
yielding with him, so she had been with another; for this further
penalty the erring woman's sin brings with it, that her honour is
distrusted even by him to whose overtures and persuasions she has
yielded; and he believes her to have surrendered more easily to
others, and gives implicit credence to every suspicion that comes into
his mind. All Lothario's good sense seems to have failed him at this
juncture; all his prudent maxims escaped his memory; for without
once reflecting rationally, and without more ado, in his impatience
and in the blindness of the jealous rage that gnawed his heart, and
dying to revenge himself upon Camilla, who had done him no wrong,
before Anselmo had risen he hastened to him and said to him, "Know,
Anselmo, that for several days past I have been struggling with
myself, striving to withhold from thee what it is no longer possible
or right that I should conceal from thee. Know that Camilla's fortress
has surrendered and is ready to submit to my will; and if I have
been slow to reveal this fact to thee, it was in order to see if it
were some light caprice of hers, or if she sought to try me and
ascertain if the love I began to make to her with thy permission was
made with a serious intention. I thought, too, that she, if she were
what she ought to be, and what we both believed her, would have ere
this given thee information of my addresses; but seeing that she
delays, I believe the truth of the promise she has given me that the
next time thou art absent from the house she will grant me an
interview in the closet where thy jewels are kept (and it was true
that Camilla used to meet him there); but I do not wish thee to rush
precipitately to take vengeance, for the sin is as yet only
committed in intention, and Camilla's may change perhaps between
this and the appointed time, and repentance spring up in its place. As
hitherto thou hast always followed my advice wholly or in part, follow
and observe this that I will give thee now, so that, without
mistake, and with mature deliberation, thou mayest satisfy thyself
as to what may seem the best course; pretend to absent thyself for two
or three days as thou hast been wont to do on other occasions, and
contrive to hide thyself in the closet; for the tapestries and other
things there afford great facilities for thy concealment, and then
thou wilt see with thine own eyes and I with mine what Camilla's
purpose may be. And if it be a guilty one, which may be feared
rather than expected, with silence, prudence, and discretion thou
canst thyself become the instrument of punishment for the wrong done
thee."
  Anselmo was amazed, overwhelmed, and astounded at the words of
Lothario, which came upon him at a time when he least expected to hear
them, for he now looked upon Camilla as having triumphed over the
pretended attacks of Lothario, and was beginning to enjoy the glory of
her victory. He remained silent for a considerable time, looking on
the ground with fixed gaze, and at length said, "Thou hast behaved,
Lothario, as I expected of thy friendship: I will follow thy advice in
everything; do as thou wilt, and keep this secret as thou seest it
should be kept in circumstances so unlooked for."
  Lothario gave him his word, but after leaving him he repented
altogether of what he had said to him, perceiving how foolishly he had
acted, as he might have revenged himself upon Camilla in some less
cruel and degrading way. He cursed his want of sense, condemned his
hasty resolution, and knew not what course to take to undo the
mischief or find some ready escape from it. At last he decided upon
revealing all to Camilla, and, as there was no want of opportunity for
doing so, he found her alone the same day; but she, as soon as she had
the chance of speaking to him, said, "Lothario my friend, I must
tell thee I have a sorrow in my heart which fills it so that it
seems ready to burst; and it will be a wonder if it does not; for
the audacity of Leonela has now reached such a pitch that every
night she conceals a gallant of hers in this house and remains with
him till morning, at the expense of my reputation; inasmuch as it is
open to anyone to question it who may see him quitting my house at
such unseasonable hours; but what distresses me is that I cannot
punish or chide her, for her privity to our intrigue bridles my
mouth and keeps me silent about hers, while I am dreading that some
catastrophe will come of it."
  As Camilla said this Lothario at first imagined it was some device
to delude him into the idea that the man he had seen going out was
Leonela's lover and not hers; but when he saw how she wept and
suffered, and begged him to help her, he became convinced of the
truth, and the conviction completed his confusion and remorse;
however, he told Camilla not to distress herself, as he would take
measures to put a stop to the insolence of Leonela. At the same time
he told her what, driven by the fierce rage of jealousy, he had said
to Anselmo, and how he had arranged to hide himself in the closet that
he might there see plainly how little she preserved her fidelity to
him; and he entreated her pardon for this madness, and her advice as
to how to repair it, and escape safely from the intricate labyrinth in
which his imprudence had involved him. Camilla was struck with alarm
at hearing what Lothario said, and with much anger, and great good
sense, she reproved him and rebuked his base design and the foolish
and mischievous resolution he had made; but as woman has by nature a
nimbler wit than man for good and for evil, though it is apt to fail
when she sets herself deliberately to reason, Camilla on the spur of
the moment thought of a way to remedy what was to all appearance
irremediable, and told Lothario to contrive that the next day
Anselmo should conceal himself in the place he mentioned, for she
hoped from his concealment to obtain the means of their enjoying
themselves for the future without any apprehension; and without
revealing her purpose to him entirely she charged him to be careful,
as soon as Anselmo was concealed, to come to her when Leonela should
call him, and to all she said to him to answer as he would have
answered had he not known that Anselmo was listening. Lothario pressed
her to explain her intention fully, so that he might with more
certainty and precaution take care to do what he saw to be needful.
  "I tell you," said Camilla, "there is nothing to take care of except
to answer me what I shall ask you;" for she did not wish to explain to
him beforehand what she meant to do, fearing lest he should be
unwilling to follow out an idea which seemed to her such a good one,
and should try or devise some other less practicable plan.
  Lothario then retired, and the next day Anselmo, under pretence of
going to his friend's country house, took his departure, and then
returned to conceal himself, which he was able to do easily, as
Camilla and Leonela took care to give him the opportunity; and so he
placed himself in hiding in the state of agitation that it may be
imagined he would feel who expected to see the vitals of his honour
laid bare before his eyes, and found himself on the point of losing
the supreme blessing he thought he possessed in his beloved Camilla.
Having made sure of Anselmo's being in his hiding-place, Camilla and
Leonela entered the closet, and the instant she set foot within it
Camilla said, with a deep sigh, "Ah! dear Leonela, would it not be
better, before I do what I am unwilling you should know lest you
should seek to prevent it, that you should take Anselmo's dagger
that I have asked of you and with it pierce this vile heart of mine?
But no; there is no reason why I should suffer the punishment of
another's fault. I will first know what it is that the bold licentious
eyes of Lothario have seen in me that could have encouraged him to
reveal to me a design so base as that which he has disclosed
regardless of his friend and of my honour. Go to the window,
Leonela, and call him, for no doubt he is in the street waiting to
carry out his vile project; but mine, cruel it may be, but honourable,
shall be carried out first."
  "Ah, senora," said the crafty Leonela, who knew her part, "what is
it you want to do with this dagger? Can it be that you mean to take
your own life, or Lothario's? for whichever you mean to do, it will
lead to the loss of your reputation and good name. It is better to
dissemble your wrong and not give this wicked man the chance of
entering the house now and finding us alone; consider, senora, we
are weak women and he is a man, and determined, and as he comes with
such a base purpose, blind and urged by passion, perhaps before you
can put yours into execution he may do what will be worse for you than
taking your life. Ill betide my master, Anselmo, for giving such
authority in his house to this shameless fellow! And supposing you
kill him, senora, as I suspect you mean to do, what shall we do with
him when he is dead?"
  "What, my friend?" replied Camilla, "we shall leave him for
Anselmo to bury him; for in reason it will be to him a light labour to
hide his own infamy under ground. Summon him, make haste, for all
the time I delay in taking vengeance for my wrong seems to me an
offence against the loyalty I owe my husband."
  Anselmo was listening to all this, and every word that Camilla
uttered made him change his mind; but when he heard that it was
resolved to kill Lothario his first impulse was to come out and show
himself to avert such a disaster; but in his anxiety to see the
issue of a resolution so bold and virtuous he restrained himself,
intending to come forth in time to prevent the deed. At this moment
Camilla, throwing herself upon a bed that was close by, swooned
away, and Leonela began to weep bitterly, exclaiming, "Woe is me! that
I should be fated to have dying here in my arms the flower of virtue
upon earth, the crown of true wives, the pattern of chastity!" with
more to the same effect, so that anyone who heard her would have taken
her for the most tender-hearted and faithful handmaid in the world,
and her mistress for another persecuted Penelope.
  Camilla was not long in recovering from her fainting fit and on
coming to herself she said, "Why do you not go, Leonela, to call
hither that friend, the falsest to his friend the sun ever shone
upon or night concealed? Away, run, haste, speed! lest the fire of
my wrath burn itself out with delay, and the righteous vengeance
that I hope for melt away in menaces and maledictions."
  "I am just going to call him, senora," said Leonela; "but you must
first give me that dagger, lest while I am gone you should by means of
it give cause to all who love you to weep all their lives."
  "Go in peace, dear Leonela, I will not do so," said Camilla, "for
rash and foolish as I may be, to your mind, in defending my honour,
I am not going to be so much so as that Lucretia who they say killed
herself without having done anything wrong, and without having first
killed him on whom the guilt of her misfortune lay. I shall die, if
I am to die; but it must be after full vengeance upon him who has
brought me here to weep over audacity that no fault of mine gave birth
to."
  Leonela required much pressing before she would go to summon
Lothario, but at last she went, and while awaiting her return
Camilla continued, as if speaking to herself, "Good God! would it
not have been more prudent to have repulsed Lothario, as I have done
many a time before, than to allow him, as I am now doing, to think
me unchaste and vile, even for the short time I must wait until I
undeceive him? No doubt it would have been better; but I should not be
avenged, nor the honour of my husband vindicated, should he find so
clear and easy an escape from the strait into which his depravity
has led him. Let the traitor pay with his life for the temerity of his
wanton wishes, and let the world know (if haply it shall ever come
to know) that Camilla not only preserved her allegiance to her
husband, but avenged him of the man who dared to wrong him. Still, I
think it might be better to disclose this to Anselmo. But then I
have called his attention to it in the letter I wrote to him in the
country, and, if he did nothing to prevent the mischief I there
pointed out to him, I suppose it was that from pure goodness of
heart and trustfulness he would not and could not believe that any
thought against his honour could harbour in the breast of so stanch
a friend; nor indeed did I myself believe it for many days, nor should
I have ever believed it if his insolence had not gone so far as to
make it manifest by open presents, lavish promises, and ceaseless
tears. But why do I argue thus? Does a bold determination stand in
need of arguments? Surely not. Then traitors avaunt! Vengeance to my
aid! Let the false one come, approach, advance, die, yield up his
life, and then befall what may. Pure I came to him whom Heaven
bestowed upon me, pure I shall leave him; and at the worst bathed in
my own chaste blood and in the foul blood of the falsest friend that
friendship ever saw in the world;" and as she uttered these words
she paced the room holding the unsheathed dagger, with such
irregular and disordered steps, and such gestures that one would
have supposed her to have lost her senses, and taken her for some
violent desperado instead of a delicate woman.
  Anselmo, hidden behind some tapestries where he had concealed
himself, beheld and was amazed at all, and already felt that what he
had seen and heard was a sufficient answer to even greater suspicions;
and he would have been now well pleased if the proof afforded by
Lothario's coming were dispensed with, as he feared some sudden
mishap; but as he was on the point of showing himself and coming forth
to embrace and undeceive his wife he paused as he saw Leonela
returning, leading Lothario. Camilla when she saw him, drawing a
long line in front of her on the floor with the dagger, said to him,
"Lothario, pay attention to what I say to thee: if by any chance
thou darest to cross this line thou seest, or even approach it, the
instant I see thee attempt it that same instant will I pierce my bosom
with this dagger that I hold in my hand; and before thou answerest
me a word desire thee to listen to a few from me, and afterwards
thou shalt reply as may please thee. First, I desire thee to tell
me, Lothario, if thou knowest my husband Anselmo, and in what light
thou regardest him; and secondly I desire to know if thou knowest me
too. Answer me this, without embarrassment or reflecting deeply what
thou wilt answer, for they are no riddles I put to thee."
  Lothario was not so dull but that from the first moment when Camilla
directed him to make Anselmo hide himself he understood what she
intended to do, and therefore he fell in with her idea so readily
and promptly that between them they made the imposture look more
true than truth; so he answered her thus: "I did not think, fair
Camilla, that thou wert calling me to ask questions so remote from the
object with which I come; but if it is to defer the promised reward
thou art doing so, thou mightst have put it off still longer, for
the longing for happiness gives the more distress the nearer comes the
hope of gaining it; but lest thou shouldst say that I do not answer
thy questions, I say that I know thy husband Anselmo, and that we have
known each other from our earliest years; I will not speak of what
thou too knowest, of our friendship, that I may not compel myself to
testify against the wrong that love, the mighty excuse for greater
errors, makes me inflict upon him. Thee I know and hold in the same
estimation as he does, for were it not so I had not for a lesser prize
acted in opposition to what I owe to my station and the holy laws of
true friendship, now broken and violated by me through that powerful
enemy, love."
  "If thou dost confess that," returned Camilla, "mortal enemy of
all that rightly deserves to be loved, with what face dost thou dare
to come before one whom thou knowest to be the mirror wherein he is
reflected on whom thou shouldst look to see how unworthily thou him?
But, woe is me, I now comprehend what has made thee give so little
heed to what thou owest to thyself; it must have been some freedom
of mine, for I will not call it immodesty, as it did not proceed
from any deliberate intention, but from some heedlessness such as
women are guilty of through inadvertence when they think they have
no occasion for reserve. But tell me, traitor, when did I by word or
sign give a reply to thy prayers that could awaken in thee a shadow of
hope of attaining thy base wishes? When were not thy professions of
love sternly and scornfully rejected and rebuked? When were thy
frequent pledges and still more frequent gifts believed or accepted?
But as I am persuaded that no one can long persevere in the attempt to
win love unsustained by some hope, I am willing to attribute to myself
the blame of thy assurance, for no doubt some thoughtlessness of
mine has all this time fostered thy hopes; and therefore will I punish
myself and inflict upon myself the penalty thy guilt deserves. And
that thou mayest see that being so relentless to myself I cannot
possibly be otherwise to thee, I have summoned thee to be a witness of
the sacrifice I mean to offer to the injured honour of my honoured
husband, wronged by thee with all the assiduity thou wert capable
of, and by me too through want of caution in avoiding every
occasion, if I have given any, of encouraging and sanctioning thy base
designs. Once more I say the suspicion in my mind that some imprudence
of mine has engendered these lawless thoughts in thee, is what
causes me most distress and what I desire most to punish with my own
hands, for were any other instrument of punishment employed my error
might become perhaps more widely known; but before I do so, in my
death I mean to inflict death, and take with me one that will fully
satisfy my longing for the revenge I hope for and have; for I shall
see, wheresoever it may be that I go, the penalty awarded by
inflexible, unswerving justice on him who has placed me in a
position so desperate."
  As she uttered these words, with incredible energy and swiftness she
flew upon Lothario with the naked dagger, so manifestly bent on
burying it in his breast that he was almost uncertain whether these
demonstrations were real or feigned, for he was obliged to have
recourse to all his skill and strength to prevent her from striking
him; and with such reality did she act this strange farce and
mystification that, to give it a colour of truth, she determined to
stain it with her own blood; for perceiving, or pretending, that she
could not wound Lothario, she said, "Fate, it seems, will not grant my
just desire complete satisfaction, but it will not be able to keep
me from satisfying it partially at least;" and making an effort to
free the hand with the dagger which Lothario held in his grasp, she
released it, and directing the point to a place where it could not
inflict a deep wound, she plunged it into her left side high up
close to the shoulder, and then allowed herself to fall to the
ground as if in a faint.
  Leonela and Lothario stood amazed and astounded at the
catastrophe, and seeing Camilla stretched on the ground and bathed
in her blood they were still uncertain as to the true nature of the
act. Lothario, terrified and breathless, ran in haste to pluck out the
dagger; but when he saw how slight the wound was he was relieved of
his fears and once more admired the subtlety, coolness, and ready
wit of the fair Camilla; and the better to support the part he had
to play he began to utter profuse and doleful lamentations over her
body as if she were dead, invoking maledictions not only on himself
but also on him who had been the means of placing him in such a
position: and knowing that his friend Anselmo heard him he spoke in
such a way as to make a listener feel much more pity for him than
for Camilla, even though he supposed her dead. Leonela took her up
in her arms and laid her on the bed, entreating Lothario to go in
quest of some one to attend to her wound in secret, and at the same
time asking his advice and opinion as to what they should say to
Anselmo about his lady's wound if he should chance to return before it
was healed. He replied they might say what they liked, for he was
not in a state to give advice that would be of any use; all he could
tell her was to try and stanch the blood, as he was going where he
should never more be seen; and with every appearance of deep grief and
sorrow he left the house; but when he found himself alone, and where
there was nobody to see him, he crossed himself unceasingly, lost in
wonder at the adroitness of Camilla and the consistent acting of
Leonela. He reflected how convinced Anselmo would be that he had a
second Portia for a wife, and he looked forward anxiously to meeting
him in order to rejoice together over falsehood and truth the most
craftily veiled that could be imagined.
  Leonela, as he told her, stanched her lady's blood, which was no
more than sufficed to support her deception; and washing the wound
with a little wine she bound it up to the best of her skill, talking
all the time she was tending her in a strain that, even if nothing
else had been said before, would have been enough to assure Anselmo
that he had in Camilla a model of purity. To Leonela's words Camilla
added her own, calling herself cowardly and wanting in spirit, since
she had not enough at the time she had most need of it to rid
herself of the life she so much loathed. She asked her attendant's
advice as to whether or not she ought to inform her beloved husband of
all that had happened, but the other bade her say nothing about it, as
she would lay upon him the obligation of taking vengeance on Lothario,
which he could not do but at great risk to himself; and it was the
duty of a true wife not to give her husband provocation to quarrel,
but, on the contrary, to remove it as far as possible from him.
  Camilla replied that she believed she was right and that she would
follow her advice, but at any rate it would be well to consider how
she was to explain the wound to Anselmo, for he could not help
seeing it; to which Leonela answered that she did not know how to tell
a lie even in jest.
  "How then can I know, my dear?" said Camilla, "for I should not dare
to forge or keep up a falsehood if my life depended on it. If we can
think of no escape from this difficulty, it will be better to tell him
the plain truth than that he should find us out in an untrue story."
  "Be not uneasy, senora," said Leonela; "between this and to-morrow I
will think of what we must say to him, and perhaps the wound being
where it is it can be hidden from his sight, and Heaven will be
pleased to aid us in a purpose so good and honourable. Compose
yourself, senora, and endeavour to calm your excitement lest my lord
find you agitated; and leave the rest to my care and God's, who always
supports good intentions."
  Anselmo had with the deepest attention listened to and seen played
out the tragedy of the death of his honour, which the performers acted
with such wonderfully effective truth that it seemed as if they had
become the realities of the parts they played. He longed for night and
an opportunity of escaping from the house to go and see his good
friend Lothario, and with him give vent to his joy over the precious
pearl he had gained in having established his wife's purity. Both
mistress and maid took care to give him time and opportunity to get
away, and taking advantage of it he made his escape, and at once
went in quest of Lothario, and it would be impossible to describe
how he embraced him when he found him, and the things he said to him
in the joy of his heart, and the praises he bestowed upon Camilla; all
which Lothario listened to without being able to show any pleasure,
for he could not forget how deceived his friend was, and how
dishonourably he had wronged him; and though Anselmo could see that
Lothario was not glad, still he imagined it was only because he had
left Camilla wounded and had been himself the cause of it; and so
among other things he told him not to be distressed about Camilla's
accident, for, as they had agreed to hide it from him, the wound was
evidently trifling; and that being so, he had no cause for fear, but
should henceforward be of good cheer and rejoice with him, seeing that
by his means and adroitness he found himself raised to the greatest
height of happiness that he could have ventured to hope for, and
desired no better pastime than making verses in praise of Camilla that
would preserve her name for all time to come. Lothario commended his
purpose, and promised on his own part to aid him in raising a monument
so glorious.
  And so Anselmo was left the most charmingly hoodwinked man there
could be in the world. He himself, persuaded he was conducting the
instrument of his glory, led home by the hand him who had been the
utter destruction of his good name; whom Camilla received with averted
countenance, though with smiles in her heart. The deception was
carried on for some time, until at the end of a few months Fortune
turned her wheel and the guilt which had been until then so
skilfully concealed was published abroad, and Anselmo paid with his
life the penalty of his ill-advised curiosity.
  CHAPTER XXXV
  WHICH TREATS OF THE HEROIC AND PRODIGIOUS BATTLE DON QUIXOTE HAD
WITH CERTAIN SKINS OF RED WINE, AND BRINGS THE NOVEL OF "THE
ILL-ADVISED CURIOSITY" TO A CLOSE

  THERE remained but little more of the novel to be read, when
Sancho Panza burst forth in wild excitement from the garret where
Don Quixote was lying, shouting, "Run, sirs! quick; and help my
master, who is in the thick of the toughest and stiffest battle I ever
laid eyes on. By the living God he has given the giant, the enemy of
my lady the Princess Micomicona, such a slash that he has sliced his
head clean off as if it were a turnip."
  "What are you talking about, brother?" said the curate, pausing as
he was about to read the remainder of the novel. "Are you in your
senses, Sancho? How the devil can it be as you say, when the giant
is two thousand leagues away?"
  Here they heard a loud noise in the chamber, and Don Quixote
shouting out, "Stand, thief, brigand, villain; now I have got thee,
and thy scimitar shall not avail thee!" And then it seemed as though
he were slashing vigorously at the wall.
  "Don't stop to listen," said Sancho, "but go in and part them or
help my master: though there is no need of that now, for no doubt
the giant is dead by this time and giving account to God of his past
wicked life; for I saw the blood flowing on the ground, and the head
cut off and fallen on one side, and it is as big as a large
wine-skin."
  "May I die," said the landlord at this, "if Don Quixote or Don Devil
has not been slashing some of the skins of red wine that stand full at
his bed's head, and the spilt wine must be what this good fellow takes
for blood;" and so saying he went into the room and the rest after
him, and there they found Don Quixote in the strangest costume in
the world. He was in his shirt, which was not long enough in front
to cover his thighs completely and was six fingers shorter behind; his
legs were very long and lean, covered with hair, and anything but
clean; on his head he had a little greasy red cap that belonged to the
host, round his left arm he had rolled the blanket of the bed, to
which Sancho, for reasons best known to himself, owed a grudge, and in
his right hand he held his unsheathed sword, with which he was
slashing about on all sides, uttering exclamations as if he were
actually fighting some giant: and the best of it was his eyes were not
open, for he was fast asleep, and dreaming that he was doing battle
with the giant. For his imagination was so wrought upon by the
adventure he was going to accomplish, that it made him dream he had
already reached the kingdom of Micomicon, and was engaged in combat
with his enemy; and believing he was laying on the giant, he had given
so many sword cuts to the skins that the whole room was full of
wine. On seeing this the landlord was so enraged that he fell on Don
Quixote, and with his clenched fist began to pummel him in such a way,
that if Cardenio and the curate had not dragged him off, he would have
brought the war of the giant to an end. But in spite of all the poor
gentleman never woke until the barber brought a great pot of cold
water from the well and flung it with one dash all over his body, on
which Don Quixote woke up, but not so completely as to understand what
was the matter. Dorothea, seeing how short and slight his attire
was, would not go in to witness the battle between her champion and
her opponent. As for Sancho, he went searching all over the floor
for the head of the giant, and not finding it he said, "I see now that
it's all enchantment in this house; for the last time, on this very
spot where I am now, I got ever so many thumps without knowing who
gave them to me, or being able to see anybody; and now this head is
not to be seen anywhere about, though I saw it cut off with my own
eyes and the blood running from the body as if from a fountain."
  "What blood and fountains are you talking about, enemy of God and
his saints?" said the landlord. "Don't you see, you thief, that the
blood and the fountain are only these skins here that have been
stabbed and the red wine swimming all over the room?- and I wish I saw
the soul of him that stabbed them swimming in hell."
  "I know nothing about that," said Sancho; "all I know is it will
be my bad luck that through not finding this head my county will
melt away like salt in water;"- for Sancho awake was worse than his
master asleep, so much had his master's promises addled his wits.
  The landlord was beside himself at the coolness of the squire and
the mischievous doings of the master, and swore it should not be
like the last time when they went without paying; and that their
privileges of chivalry should not hold good this time to let one or
other of them off without paying, even to the cost of the plugs that
would have to be put to the damaged wine-skins. The curate was holding
Don Quixote's hands, who, fancying he had now ended the adventure
and was in the presence of the Princess Micomicona, knelt before the
curate and said, "Exalted and beauteous lady, your highness may live
from this day forth fearless of any harm this base being could do you;
and I too from this day forth am released from the promise I gave you,
since by the help of God on high and by the favour of her by whom I
live and breathe, I have fulfilled it so successfully."
  "Did not I say so?" said Sancho on hearing this. "You see I wasn't
drunk; there you see my master has already salted the giant; there's
no doubt about the bulls; my county is all right!"
  Who could have helped laughing at the absurdities of the pair,
master and man? And laugh they did, all except the landlord, who
cursed himself; but at length the barber, Cardenio, and the curate
contrived with no small trouble to get Don Quixote on the bed, and
he fell asleep with every appearance of excessive weariness. They left
him to sleep, and came out to the gate of the inn to console Sancho
Panza on not having found the head of the giant; but much more work
had they to appease the landlord, who was furious at the sudden
death of his wine-skins; and said the landlady half scolding, half
crying, "At an evil moment and in an unlucky hour he came into my
house, this knight-errant- would that I had never set eyes on him, for
dear he has cost me; the last time he went off with the overnight
score against him for supper, bed, straw, and barley, for himself
and his squire and a hack and an ass, saying he was a knight
adventurer- God send unlucky adventures to him and all the adventurers
in the world- and therefore not bound to pay anything, for it was so
settled by the knight-errantry tariff: and then, all because of him,
came the other gentleman and carried off my tail, and gives it back
more than two cuartillos the worse, all stripped of its hair, so
that it is no use for my husband's purpose; and then, for a
finishing touch to all, to burst my wine-skins and spill my wine! I
wish I saw his own blood spilt! But let him not deceive himself,
for, by the bones of my father and the shade of my mother, they
shall pay me down every quarts; or my name is not what it is, and I am
not my father's daughter." All this and more to the same effect the
landlady delivered with great irritation, and her good maid Maritornes
backed her up, while the daughter held her peace and smiled from
time to time. The curate smoothed matters by promising to make good
all losses to the best of his power, not only as regarded the
wine-skins but also the wine, and above all the depreciation of the
tail which they set such store by. Dorothea comforted Sancho,
telling him that she pledged herself, as soon as it should appear
certain that his master had decapitated the giant, and she found
herself peacefully established in her kingdom, to bestow upon him
the best county there was in it. With this Sancho consoled himself,
and assured the princess she might rely upon it that he had seen the
head of the giant, and more by token it had a beard that reached to
the girdle, and that if it was not to be seen now it was because
everything that happened in that house went by enchantment, as he
himself had proved the last time he had lodged there. Dorothea said
she fully believed it, and that he need not be uneasy, for all would
go well and turn out as he wished. All therefore being appeased, the
curate was anxious to go on with the novel, as he saw there was but
little more left to read. Dorothea and the others begged him to finish
it, and he, as he was willing to please them, and enjoyed reading it
himself, continued the tale in these words:

  The result was, that from the confidence Anselmo felt in Camilla's
virtue, he lived happy and free from anxiety, and Camilla purposely
looked coldly on Lothario, that Anselmo might suppose her feelings
towards him to be the opposite of what they were; and the better to
support the position, Lothario begged to be excused from coming to the
house, as the displeasure with which Camilla regarded his presence was
plain to be seen. But the befooled Anselmo said he would on no account
allow such a thing, and so in a thousand ways he became the author
of his own dishonour, while he believed he was insuring his happiness.
Meanwhile the satisfaction with which Leonela saw herself empowered to
carry on her amour reached such a height that, regardless of
everything else, she followed her inclinations unrestrainedly, feeling
confident that her mistress would screen her, and even show her how to
manage it safely. At last one night Anselmo heard footsteps in
Leonela's room, and on trying to enter to see who it was, he found
that the door was held against him, which made him all the more
determined to open it; and exerting his strength he forced it open,
and entered the room in time to see a man leaping through the window
into the street. He ran quickly to seize him or discover who he was,
but he was unable to effect either purpose, for Leonela flung her arms
round him crying, "Be calm, senor; do not give way to passion or
follow him who has escaped from this; he belongs to me, and in fact he
is my husband."
  Anselmo would not believe it, but blind with rage drew a dagger
and threatened to stab Leonela, bidding her tell the truth or he would
kill her. She, in her fear, not knowing what she was saying,
exclaimed, "Do not kill me, senor, for I can tell you things more
important than any you can imagine."
  "Tell me then at once or thou diest," said Anselmo.
  "It would be impossible for me now," said Leonela, "I am so
agitated: leave me till to-morrow, and then you shall hear from me
what will fill you with astonishment; but rest assured that he who
leaped through the window is a young man of this city, who has given
me his promise to become my husband."
  Anselmo was appeased with this, and was content to wait the time she
asked of him, for he never expected to hear anything against
Camilla, so satisfied and sure of her virtue was he; and so he quitted
the room, and left Leonela locked in, telling her she should not
come out until she had told him all she had to make known to him. He
went at once to see Camilla, and tell her, as he did, all that had
passed between him and her handmaid, and the promise she had given him
to inform him matters of serious importance.
  There is no need of saying whether Camilla was agitated or not,
for so great was her fear and dismay, that, making sure, as she had
good reason to do, that Leonela would tell Anselmo all she knew of her
faithlessness, she had not the courage to wait and see if her
suspicions were confirmed; and that same night, as soon as she thought
that Anselmo was asleep, she packed up the most valuable jewels she
had and some money, and without being observed by anybody escaped from
the house and betook herself to Lothario's, to whom she related what
had occurred, imploring him to convey her to some place of safety or
fly with her where they might be safe from Anselmo. The state of
perplexity to which Camilla reduced Lothario was such that he was
unable to utter a word in reply, still less to decide upon what he
should do. At length he resolved to conduct her to a convent of
which a sister of his was prioress; Camilla agreed to this, and with
the speed which the circumstances demanded, Lothario took her to the
convent and left her there, and then himself quitted the city
without letting anyone know of his departure.
  As soon as daylight came Anselmo, without missing Camilla from his
side, rose cager to learn what Leonela had to tell him, and hastened
to the room where he had locked her in. He opened the door, entered,
but found no Leonela; all he found was some sheets knotted to the
window, a plain proof that she had let herself down from it and
escaped. He returned, uneasy, to tell Camilla, but not finding her
in bed or anywhere in the house he was lost in amazement. He asked the
servants of the house about her, but none of them could give him any
explanation. As he was going in search of Camilla it happened by
chance that he observed her boxes were lying open, and that the
greater part of her jewels were gone; and now he became fully aware of
his disgrace, and that Leonela was not the cause of his misfortune;
and, just as he was, without delaying to dress himself completely,
he repaired, sad at heart and dejected, to his friend Lothario to make
known his sorrow to him; but when he failed to find him and the
servants reported that he had been absent from his house all night and
had taken with him all the money he had, he felt as though he were
losing his senses; and to make all complete on returning to his own
house he found it deserted and empty, not one of all his servants,
male or female, remaining in it. He knew not what to think, or say, or
do, and his reason seemed to be deserting him little by little. He
reviewed his position, and saw himself in a moment left without
wife, friend, or servants, abandoned, he felt, by the heaven above
him, and more than all robbed of his honour, for in Camilla's
disappearance he saw his own ruin. After long reflection he resolved
at last to go to his friend's village, where he had been staying
when he afforded opportunities for the contrivance of this
complication of misfortune. He locked the doors of his house,
mounted his horse, and with a broken spirit set out on his journey;
but he had hardly gone half-way when, harassed by his reflections,
he had to dismount and tie his horse to a tree, at the foot of which
he threw himself, giving vent to piteous heartrending sighs; and there
he remained till nearly nightfall, when he observed a man
approaching on horseback from the city, of whom, after saluting him,
he asked what was the news in Florence.
  The citizen replied, "The strangest that have been heard for many
a day; for it is reported abroad that Lothario, the great friend of
the wealthy Anselmo, who lived at San Giovanni, carried off last night
Camilla, the wife of Anselmo, who also has disappeared. All this has
been told by a maid-servant of Camilla's, whom the governor found last
night lowering herself by a sheet from the windows of Anselmo's house.
I know not indeed, precisely, how the affair came to pass; all I
know is that the whole city is wondering at the occurrence, for no one
could have expected a thing of the kind, seeing the great and intimate
friendship that existed between them, so great, they say, that they
were called 'The Two Friends.'"
  "Is it known at all," said Anselmo, "what road Lothario and
Camilla took?"
  "Not in the least," said the citizen, "though the governor has
been very active in searching for them."
  "God speed you, senor," said Anselmo.
  "God be with you," said the citizen and went his way.
  This disastrous intelligence almost robbed Anselmo not only of his
senses but of his life. He got up as well as he was able and reached
the house of his friend, who as yet knew nothing of his misfortune,
but seeing him come pale, worn, and haggard, perceived that he was
suffering some heavy affliction. Anselmo at once begged to be
allowed to retire to rest, and to be given writing materials. His wish
was complied with and he was left lying down and alone, for he desired
this, and even that the door should be locked. Finding himself alone
he so took to heart the thought of his misfortune that by the signs of
death he felt within him he knew well his life was drawing to a close,
and therefore he resolved to leave behind him a declaration of the
cause of his strange end. He began to write, but before he had put
down all he meant to say, his breath failed him and he yielded up
his life, a victim to the suffering which his ill-advised curiosity
had entailed upon him. The master of the house observing that it was
now late and that Anselmo did not call, determined to go in and
ascertain if his indisposition was increasing, and found him lying
on his face, his body partly in the bed, partly on the
writing-table, on which he lay with the written paper open and the pen
still in his hand. Having first called to him without receiving any
answer, his host approached him, and taking him by the hand, found
that it was cold, and saw that he was dead. Greatly surprised and
distressed he summoned the household to witness the sad fate which had
befallen Anselmo; and then he read the paper, the handwriting of which
he recognised as his, and which contained these words:
  "A foolish and ill-advised desire has robbed me of life. If the news
of my death should reach the ears of Camilla, let her know that I
forgive her, for she was not bound to perform miracles, nor ought I to
have required her to perform them; and since I have been the author of
my own dishonour, there is no reason why-"
  So far Anselmo had written, and thus it was plain that at this
point, before he could finish what he had to say, his life came to
an end. The next day his friend sent intelligence of his death to
his relatives, who had already ascertained his misfortune, as well
as the convent where Camilla lay almost on the point of accompanying
her husband on that inevitable journey, not on account of the
tidings of his death, but because of those she received of her lover's
departure. Although she saw herself a widow, it is said she refused
either to quit the convent or take the veil, until, not long
afterwards, intelligence reached her that Lothario had been killed
in a battle in which M. de Lautrec had been recently engaged with
the Great Captain Gonzalo Fernandez de Cordova in the kingdom of
Naples, whither her too late repentant lover had repaired. On learning
this Camilla took the veil, and shortly afterwards died, worn out by
grief and melancholy. This was the end of all three, an end that
came of a thoughtless beginning.

  "I like this novel," said the curate; "but I cannot persuade
myself of its truth; and if it has been invented, the author's
invention is faulty, for it is impossible to imagine any husband so
foolish as to try such a costly experiment as Anselmo's. If it had
been represented as occurring between a gallant and his mistress it
might pass; but between husband and wife there is something of an
impossibility about it. As to the way in which the story is told,
however, I have no fault to find."
  CHAPTER XXXVI
  WHICH TREATS OF MORE CURIOUS INCIDENTS THAT OCCURRED AT THE INN

  JUST at that instant the landlord, who was standing at the gate of
the inn, exclaimed, "Here comes a fine troop of guests; if they stop
here we may say gaudeamus."
  "What are they?" said Cardenio.
  "Four men," said the landlord, "riding a la jineta, with lances
and bucklers, and all with black veils, and with them there is a woman
in white on a side-saddle, whose face is also veiled, and two
attendants on foot."
  "Are they very near?" said the curate.
  "So near," answered the landlord, "that here they come."
  Hearing this Dorothea covered her face, and Cardenio retreated
into Don Quixote's room, and they hardly had time to do so before
the whole party the host had described entered the inn, and the four
that were on horseback, who were of highbred appearance and bearing,
dismounted, and came forward to take down the woman who rode on the
side-saddle, and one of them taking her in his arms placed her in a
chair that stood at the entrance of the room where Cardenio had hidden
himself. All this time neither she nor they had removed their veils or
spoken a word, only on sitting down on the chair the woman gave a deep
sigh and let her arms fall like one that was ill and weak. The
attendants on foot then led the horses away to the stable. Observing
this the curate, curious to know who these people in such a dress
and preserving such silence were, went to where the servants were
standing and put the question to one of them, who answered him.
  "Faith, sir, I cannot tell you who they are, I only know they seem
to be people of distinction, particularly he who advanced to take
the lady you saw in his arms; and I say so because all the rest show
him respect, and nothing is done except what he directs and orders."
  "And the lady, who is she?" asked the curate.
  "That I cannot tell you either," said the servant, "for I have not
seen her face all the way: I have indeed heard her sigh many times and
utter such groans that she seems to be giving up the ghost every time;
but it is no wonder if we do not know more than we have told you, as
my comrade and I have only been in their company two days, for
having met us on the road they begged and persuaded us to accompany
them to Andalusia, promising to pay us well."
  "And have you heard any of them called by his name?" asked the
curate.
  "No, indeed," replied the servant; "they all preserve a marvellous
silence on the road, for not a sound is to be heard among them
except the poor lady's sighs and sobs, which make us pity her; and
we feel sure that wherever it is she is going, it is against her will,
and as far as one can judge from her dress she is a nun or, what is
more likely, about to become one; and perhaps it is because taking the
vows is not of her own free will, that she is so unhappy as she
seems to be."
  "That may well be," said the curate, and leaving them he returned to
where Dorothea was, who, hearing the veiled lady sigh, moved by
natural compassion drew near to her and said, "What are you
suffering from, senora? If it be anything that women are accustomed
and know how to relieve, I offer you my services with all my heart."
  To this the unhappy lady made no reply; and though Dorothea repeated
her offers more earnestly she still kept silence, until the
gentleman with the veil, who, the servant said, was obeyed by the
rest, approached and said to Dorothea, "Do not give yourself the
trouble, senora, of making any offers to that woman, for it is her way
to give no thanks for anything that is done for her; and do not try to
make her answer unless you want to hear some lie from her lips."
  "I have never told a lie," was the immediate reply of her who had
been silent until now; "on the contrary, it is because I am so
truthful and so ignorant of lying devices that I am now in this
miserable condition; and this I call you yourself to witness, for it
is my unstained truth that has made you false and a liar."
  Cardenio heard these words clearly and distinctly, being quite close
to the speaker, for there was only the door of Don Quixote's room
between them, and the instant he did so, uttering a loud exclamation
he cried, "Good God! what is this I hear? What voice is this that
has reached my ears?" Startled at the voice the lady turned her
head; and not seeing the speaker she stood up and attempted to enter
the room; observing which the gentleman held her back, preventing
her from moving a step. In her agitation and sudden movement the
silk with which she had covered her face fell off and disclosed a
countenance of incomparable and marvellous beauty, but pale and
terrified; for she kept turning her eyes, everywhere she could
direct her gaze, with an eagerness that made her look as if she had
lost her senses, and so marked that it excited the pity of Dorothea
and all who beheld her, though they knew not what caused it. The
gentleman grasped her firmly by the shoulders, and being so fully
occupied with holding her back, he was unable to put a hand to his
veil which was falling off, as it did at length entirely, and
Dorothea, who was holding the lady in her arms, raising her eyes saw
that he who likewise held her was her husband, Don Fernando. The
instant she recognised him, with a prolonged plaintive cry drawn
from the depths of her heart, she fell backwards fainting, and but for
the barber being close by to catch her in his arms, she would have
fallen completely to the ground. The curate at once hastened to
uncover her face and throw water on it, and as he did so Don Fernando,
for he it was who held the other in his arms, recognised her and stood
as if death-stricken by the sight; not, however, relaxing his grasp of
Luscinda, for it was she that was struggling to release herself from
his hold, having recognised Cardenio by his voice, as he had
recognised her. Cardenio also heard Dorothea's cry as she fell
fainting, and imagining that it came from his Luscinda burst forth
in terror from the room, and the first thing he saw was Don Fernando
with Luscinda in his arms. Don Fernando, too, knew Cardenio at once;
and all three, Luscinda, Cardenio, and Dorothea, stood in silent
amazement scarcely knowing what had happened to them.
  They gazed at one another without speaking, Dorothea at Don
Fernando, Don Fernando at Cardenio, Cardenio at Luscinda, and Luscinda
at Cardenio. The first to break silence was Luscinda, who thus
addressed Don Fernando: "Leave me, Senor Don Fernando, for the sake of
what you owe to yourself; if no other reason will induce you, leave me
to cling to the wall of which I am the ivy, to the support from
which neither your importunities, nor your threats, nor your promises,
nor your gifts have been able to detach me. See how Heaven, by ways
strange and hidden from our sight, has brought me face to face with my
true husband; and well you know by dear-bought experience that death
alone will be able to efface him from my memory. May this plain
declaration, then, lead you, as you can do nothing else, to turn
your love into rage, your affection into resentment, and so to take my
life; for if I yield it up in the presence of my beloved husband I
count it well bestowed; it may be by my death he will be convinced
that I kept my faith to him to the last moment of life."
  Meanwhile Dorothea had come to herself, and had heard Luscinda's
words, by means of which she divined who she was; but seeing that
Don Fernando did not yet release her or reply to her, summoning up her
resolution as well as she could she rose and knelt at his feet, and
with a flood of bright and touching tears addressed him thus:
  "If, my lord, the beams of that sun that thou holdest eclipsed in
thine arms did not dazzle and rob thine eyes of sight thou wouldst
have seen by this time that she who kneels at thy feet is, so long
as thou wilt have it so, the unhappy and unfortunate Dorothea. I am
that lowly peasant girl whom thou in thy goodness or for thy
pleasure wouldst raise high enough to call herself thine; I am she who
in the seclusion of innocence led a contented life until at the
voice of thy importunity, and thy true and tender passion, as it
seemed, she opened the gates of her modesty and surrendered to thee
the keys of her liberty; a gift received by thee but thanklessly, as
is clearly shown by my forced retreat to the place where thou dost
find me, and by thy appearance under the circumstances in which I
see thee. Nevertheless, I would not have thee suppose that I have come
here driven by my shame; it is only grief and sorrow at seeing
myself forgotten by thee that have led me. It was thy will to make
me thine, and thou didst so follow thy will, that now, even though
thou repentest, thou canst not help being mine. Bethink thee, my lord,
the unsurpassable affection I bear thee may compensate for the
beauty and noble birth for which thou wouldst desert me. Thou canst
not be the fair Luscinda's because thou art mine, nor can she be thine
because she is Cardenio's; and it will be easier, remember, to bend
thy will to love one who adores thee, than to lead one to love thee
who abhors thee now. Thou didst address thyself to my simplicity, thou
didst lay siege to my virtue, thou wert not ignorant of my station,
well dost thou know how I yielded wholly to thy will; there is no
ground or reason for thee to plead deception, and if it be so, as it
is, and if thou art a Christian as thou art a gentleman, why dost thou
by such subterfuges put off making me as happy at last as thou didst
at first? And if thou wilt not have me for what I am, thy true and
lawful wife, at least take and accept me as thy slave, for so long
as I am thine I will count myself happy and fortunate. Do not by
deserting me let my shame become the talk of the gossips in the
streets; make not the old age of my parents miserable; for the loyal
services they as faithful vassals have ever rendered thine are not
deserving of such a return; and if thou thinkest it will debase thy
blood to mingle it with mine, reflect that there is little or no
nobility in the world that has not travelled the same road, and that
in illustrious lineages it is not the woman's blood that is of
account; and, moreover, that true nobility consists in virtue, and
if thou art wanting in that, refusing me what in justice thou owest
me, then even I have higher claims to nobility than thine. To make
an end, senor, these are my last words to thee: whether thou wilt,
or wilt not, I am thy wife; witness thy words, which must not and
ought not to be false, if thou dost pride thyself on that for want
of which thou scornest me; witness the pledge which thou didst give
me, and witness Heaven, which thou thyself didst call to witness the
promise thou hadst made me; and if all this fail, thy own conscience
will not fail to lift up its silent voice in the midst of all thy
gaiety, and vindicate the truth of what I say and mar thy highest
pleasure and enjoyment."
  All this and more the injured Dorothea delivered with such earnest
feeling and such tears that all present, even those who came with
Don Fernando, were constrained to join her in them. Don Fernando
listened to her without replying, until, ceasing to speak, she gave
way to such sobs and sighs that it must have been a heart of brass
that was not softened by the sight of so great sorrow. Luscinda
stood regarding her with no less compassion for her sufferings than
admiration for her intelligence and beauty, and would have gone to her
to say some words of comfort to her, but was prevented by Don
Fernando's grasp which held her fast. He, overwhelmed with confusion
and astonishment, after regarding Dorothea for some moments with a
fixed gaze, opened his arms, and, releasing Luscinda, exclaimed:
  "Thou hast conquered, fair Dorothea, thou hast conquered, for it
is impossible to have the heart to deny the united force of so many
truths."
  Luscinda in her feebleness was on the point of falling to the ground
when Don Fernando released her, but Cardenio, who stood near, having
retreated behind Don Fernando to escape recognition, casting fear
aside and regardless of what might happen, ran forward to support her,
and said as he clasped her in his arms, "If Heaven in its compassion
is willing to let thee rest at last, mistress of my heart, true,
constant, and fair, nowhere canst thou rest more safely than in
these arms that now receive thee, and received thee before when
fortune permitted me to call thee mine."
  At these words Luscinda looked up at Cardenio, at first beginning to
recognise him by his voice and then satisfying herself by her eyes
that it was he, and hardly knowing what she did, and heedless of all
considerations of decorum, she flung her arms around his neck and
pressing her face close to his, said, "Yes, my dear lord, you are
the true master of this your slave, even though adverse fate interpose
again, and fresh dangers threaten this life that hangs on yours."
  A strange sight was this for Don Fernando and those that stood
around, filled with surprise at an incident so unlooked for.
Dorothea fancied that Don Fernando changed colour and looked as though
he meant to take vengeance on Cardenio, for she observed him put his
hand to his sword; and the instant the idea struck her, with wonderful
quickness she clasped him round the knees, and kissing them and
holding him so as to prevent his moving, she said, while her tears
continued to flow, "What is it thou wouldst do, my only refuge, in
this unforeseen event? Thou hast thy wife at thy feet, and she whom
thou wouldst have for thy wife is in the arms of her husband:
reflect whether it will be right for thee, whether it will be possible
for thee to undo what Heaven has done, or whether it will be
becoming in thee to seek to raise her to be thy mate who in spite of
every obstacle, and strong in her truth and constancy, is before thine
eyes, bathing with the tears of love the face and bosom of her
lawful husband. For God's sake I entreat of thee, for thine own I
implore thee, let not this open manifestation rouse thy anger; but
rather so calm it as to allow these two lovers to live in peace and
quiet without any interference from thee so long as Heaven permits
them; and in so doing thou wilt prove the generosity of thy lofty
noble spirit, and the world shall see that with thee reason has more
influence than passion."
  All the time Dorothea was speaking, Cardenio, though he held
Luscinda in his arms, never took his eyes off Don Fernando,
determined, if he saw him make any hostile movement, to try and defend
himself and resist as best he could all who might assail him, though
it should cost him his life. But now Don Fernando's friends, as well
as the curate and the barber, who had been present all the while,
not forgetting the worthy Sancho Panza, ran forward and gathered round
Don Fernando, entreating him to have regard for the tears of Dorothea,
and not suffer her reasonable hopes to be disappointed, since, as they
firmly believed, what she said was but the truth; and bidding him
observe that it was not, as it might seem, by accident, but by a
special disposition of Providence that they had all met in a place
where no one could have expected a meeting. And the curate bade him
remember that only death could part Luscinda from Cardenio; that
even if some sword were to separate them they would think their
death most happy; and that in a case that admitted of no remedy his
wisest course was, by conquering and putting a constraint upon
himself, to show a generous mind, and of his own accord suffer these
two to enjoy the happiness Heaven had granted them. He bade him,
too, turn his eyes upon the beauty of Dorothea and he would see that
few if any could equal much less excel her; while to that beauty
should be added her modesty and the surpassing love she bore him.
But besides all this, he reminded him that if he prided himself on
being a gentleman and a Christian, he could not do otherwise than keep
his plighted word; and that in doing so he would obey God and meet the
approval of all sensible people, who know and recognised it to be
the privilege of beauty, even in one of humble birth, provided
virtue accompany it, to be able to raise itself to the level of any
rank, without any slur upon him who places it upon an equality with
himself; and furthermore that when the potent sway of passion
asserts itself, so long as there be no mixture of sin in it, he is not
to be blamed who gives way to it.
  To be brief, they added to these such other forcible arguments
that Don Fernando's manly heart, being after all nourished by noble
blood, was touched, and yielded to the truth which, even had he wished
it, he could not gainsay; and he showed his submission, and acceptance
of the good advice that had been offered to him, by stooping down
and embracing Dorothea, saying to her, "Rise, dear lady, it is not
right that what I hold in my heart should be kneeling at my feet;
and if until now I have shown no sign of what I own, it may have
been by Heaven's decree in order that, seeing the constancy with which
you love me, I may learn to value you as you deserve. What I entreat
of you is that you reproach me not with my transgression and
grievous wrong-doing; for the same cause and force that drove me to
make you mine impelled me to struggle against being yours; and to
prove this, turn and look at the eyes of the now happy Luscinda, and
you will see in them an excuse for all my errors: and as she has found
and gained the object of her desires, and I have found in you what
satisfies all my wishes, may she live in peace and contentment as many
happy years with her Cardenio, as on my knees I pray Heaven to allow
me to live with my Dorothea;" and with these words he once more
embraced her and pressed his face to hers with so much tenderness that
he had to take great heed to keep his tears from completing the
proof of his love and repentance in the sight of all. Not so Luscinda,
and Cardenio, and almost all the others, for they shed so many
tears, some in their own happiness, some at that of the others, that
one would have supposed a heavy calamity had fallen upon them all.
Even Sancho Panza was weeping; though afterwards he said he only
wept because he saw that Dorothea was not as he fancied the queen
Micomicona, of whom he expected such great favours. Their wonder as
well as their weeping lasted some time, and then Cardenio and Luscinda
went and fell on their knees before Don Fernando, returning him thanks
for the favour he had rendered them in language so grateful that he
knew not how to answer them, and raising them up embraced them with
every mark of affection and courtesy.
  He then asked Dorothea how she had managed to reach a place so far
removed from her own home, and she in a few fitting words told all
that she had previously related to Cardenio, with which Don Fernando
and his companions were so delighted that they wished the story had
been longer; so charmingly did Dorothea describe her misadventures.
When she had finished Don Fernando recounted what had befallen him
in the city after he had found in Luscinda's bosom the paper in
which she declared that she was Cardenio's wife, and never could be
his. He said he meant to kill her, and would have done so had he not
been prevented by her parents, and that he quitted the house full of
rage and shame, and resolved to avenge himself when a more
convenient opportunity should offer. The next day he learned that
Luscinda had disappeared from her father's house, and that no one
could tell whither she had gone. Finally, at the end of some months he
ascertained that she was in a convent and meant to remain there all
the rest of her life, if she were not to share it with Cardenio; and
as soon as he had learned this, taking these three gentlemen as his
companions, he arrived at the place where she was, but avoided
speaking to her, fearing that if it were known he was there stricter
precautions would be taken in the convent; and watching a time when
the porter's lodge was open he left two to guard the gate, and he
and the other entered the convent in quest of Luscinda, whom they
found in the cloisters in conversation with one of the nuns, and
carrying her off without giving her time to resist, they reached a
place with her where they provided themselves with what they
required for taking her away; all which they were able to do in
complete safety, as the convent was in the country at a considerable
distance from the city. He added that when Luscinda found herself in
his power she lost all consciousness, and after returning to herself
did nothing but weep and sigh without speaking a word; and thus in
silence and tears they reached that inn, which for him was reaching
heaven where all the mischances of earth are over and at an end.
  CHAPTER XXXVII
  IN WHICH IS CONTINUED THE STORY OF THE FAMOUS PRINCESS MICOMICONA,
WITH OTHER DROLL ADVENTURES

  TO ALL this Sancho listened with no little sorrow at heart to see
how his hopes of dignity were fading away and vanishing in smoke,
and how the fair Princess Micomicona had turned into Dorothea, and the
giant into Don Fernando, while his master was sleeping tranquilly,
totally unconscious of all that had come to pass. Dorothea was
unable to persuade herself that her present happiness was not all a
dream; Cardenio was in a similar state of mind, and Luscinda's
thoughts ran in the same direction. Don Fernando gave thanks to Heaven
for the favour shown to him and for having been rescued from the
intricate labyrinth in which he had been brought so near the
destruction of his good name and of his soul; and in short everybody
in the inn was full of contentment and satisfaction at the happy issue
of such a complicated and hopeless business. The curate as a
sensible man made sound reflections upon the whole affair, and
congratulated each upon his good fortune; but the one that was in
the highest spirits and good humour was the landlady, because of the
promise Cardenio and the curate had given her to pay for all the
losses and damage she had sustained through Don Quixote's means.
Sancho, as has been already said, was the only one who was distressed,
unhappy, and dejected; and so with a long face he went in to his
master, who had just awoke, and said to him:
  "Sir Rueful Countenance, your worship may as well sleep on as much
as you like, without troubling yourself about killing any giant or
restoring her kingdom to the princess; for that is all over and
settled now."
  "I should think it was," replied Don Quixote, "for I have had the
most prodigious and stupendous battle with the giant that I ever
remember having had all the days of my life; and with one back-stroke-
swish!- I brought his head tumbling to the ground, and so much blood
gushed forth from him that it ran in rivulets over the earth like
water."
   "Like red wine, your worship had better say," replied Sancho;
"for I would have you know, if you don't know it, that the dead
giant is a hacked wine-skin, and the blood four-and-twenty gallons
of red wine that it had in its belly, and the cut-off head is the
bitch that bore me; and the devil take it all."
  "What art thou talking about, fool?" said Don Quixote; "art thou
in thy senses?"
  "Let your worship get up," said Sancho, "and you will see the nice
business you have made of it, and what we have to pay; and you will
see the queen turned into a private lady called Dorothea, and other
things that will astonish you, if you understand them."
  "I shall not be surprised at anything of the kind," returned Don
Quixote; "for if thou dost remember the last time we were here I
told thee that everything that happened here was a matter of
enchantment, and it would be no wonder if it were the same now."
  "I could believe all that," replied Sancho, "if my blanketing was
the same sort of thing also; only it wasn't, but real and genuine; for
I saw the landlord, Who is here to-day, holding one end of the blanket
and jerking me up to the skies very neatly and smartly, and with as
much laughter as strength; and when it comes to be a case of knowing
people, I hold for my part, simple and sinner as I am, that there is
no enchantment about it at all, but a great deal of bruising and bad
luck."
  "Well, well, God will give a remedy," said Don Quixote; "hand me
my clothes and let me go out, for I want to see these
transformations and things thou speakest of."
  Sancho fetched him his clothes; and while he was dressing, the
curate gave Don Fernando and the others present an account of Don
Quixote's madness and of the stratagem they had made use of to
withdraw him from that Pena Pobre where he fancied himself stationed
because of his lady's scorn. He described to them also nearly all
the adventures that Sancho had mentioned, at which they marvelled
and laughed not a little, thinking it, as all did, the strangest
form of madness a crazy intellect could be capable of. But now, the
curate said, that the lady Dorothea's good fortune prevented her
from proceeding with their purpose, it would be necessary to devise or
discover some other way of getting him home.
  Cardenio proposed to carry out the scheme they had begun, and
suggested that Luscinda would act and support Dorothea's part
sufficiently well.
  "No," said Don Fernando, "that must not be, for I want Dorothea to
follow out this idea of hers; and if the worthy gentleman's village is
not very far off, I shall be happy if I can do anything for his
relief."
  "It is not more than two days' journey from this," said the curate.
  "Even if it were more," said Don Fernando, "I would gladly travel so
far for the sake of doing so good a work.
  "At this moment Don Quixote came out in full panoply, with
Mambrino's helmet, all dinted as it was, on his head, his buckler on
his arm, and leaning on his staff or pike. The strange figure he
presented filled Don Fernando and the rest with amazement as they
contemplated his lean yellow face half a league long, his armour of
all sorts, and the solemnity of his deportment. They stood silent
waiting to see what he would say, and he, fixing his eyes on the air
Dorothea, addressed her with great gravity and composure:
  "I am informed, fair lady, by my squire here that your greatness has
been annihilated and your being abolished, since, from a queen and
lady of high degree as you used to be, you have been turned into a
private maiden. If this has been done by the command of the magician
king your father, through fear that I should not afford you the aid
you need and are entitled to, I may tell you he did not know and
does not know half the mass, and was little versed in the annals of
chivalry; for, if he had read and gone through them as attentively and
deliberately as I have, he would have found at every turn that knights
of less renown than mine have accomplished things more difficult: it
is no great matter to kill a whelp of a giant, however arrogant he may
be; for it is not many hours since I myself was engaged with one, and-
I will not speak of it, that they may not say I am lying; time,
however, that reveals all, will tell the tale when we least expect
it."
  "You were engaged with a couple of wine-skins, and not a giant,"
said the landlord at this; but Don Fernando told him to hold his
tongue and on no account interrupt Don Quixote, who continued, "I
say in conclusion, high and disinherited lady, that if your father has
brought about this metamorphosis in your person for the reason I
have mentioned, you ought not to attach any importance to it; for
there is no peril on earth through which my sword will not force a
way, and with it, before many days are over, I will bring your enemy's
head to the ground and place on yours the crown of your kingdom."
  Don Quixote said no more, and waited for the reply of the
princess, who aware of Don Fernando's determination to carry on the
deception until Don Quixote had been conveyed to his home, with
great ease of manner and gravity made answer, "Whoever told you,
valiant Knight of the Rueful Countenance, that I had undergone any
change or transformation did not tell you the truth, for I am the same
as I was yesterday. It is true that certain strokes of good fortune,
that have given me more than I could have hoped for, have made some
alteration in me; but I have not therefore ceased to be what I was
before, or to entertain the same desire I have had all through of
availing myself of the might of your valiant and invincible arm. And
so, senor, let your goodness reinstate the father that begot me in
your good opinion, and be assured that he was a wise and prudent
man, since by his craft he found out such a sure and easy way of
remedying my misfortune; for I believe, senor, that had it not been
for you I should never have lit upon the good fortune I now possess;
and in this I am saying what is perfectly true; as most of these
gentlemen who are present can fully testify. All that remains is to
set out on our journey to-morrow, for to-day we could not make much
way; and for the rest of the happy result I am looking forward to, I
trust to God and the valour of your heart."
  So said the sprightly Dorothea, and on hearing her Don Quixote
turned to Sancho, and said to him, with an angry air, "I declare
now, little Sancho, thou art the greatest little villain in Spain.
Say, thief and vagabond, hast thou not just now told me that this
princess had been turned into a maiden called Dorothea, and that the
head which I am persuaded I cut off from a giant was the bitch that
bore thee, and other nonsense that put me in the greatest perplexity I
have ever been in all my life? I vow" (and here he looked to heaven
and ground his teeth) "I have a mind to play the mischief with thee,
in a way that will teach sense for the future to all lying squires
of knights-errant in the world."
  "Let your worship be calm, senor," returned Sancho, "for it may well
be that I have been mistaken as to the change of the lady princess
Micomicona; but as to the giant's head, or at least as to the piercing
of the wine-skins, and the blood being red wine, I make no mistake, as
sure as there is a God; because the wounded skins are there at the
head of your worship's bed, and the wine has made a lake of the
room; if not you will see when the eggs come to be fried; I mean
when his worship the landlord calls for all the damages: for the rest,
I am heartily glad that her ladyship the queen is as she was, for it
concerns me as much as anyone."
  "I tell thee again, Sancho, thou art a fool," said Don Quixote;
"forgive me, and that will do."
  "That will do," said Don Fernando; "let us say no more about it; and
as her ladyship the princess proposes to set out to-morrow because
it is too late to-day, so be it, and we will pass the night in
pleasant conversation, and to-morrow we will all accompany Senor Don
Quixote; for we wish to witness the valiant and unparalleled
achievements he is about to perform in the course of this mighty
enterprise which he has undertaken."
  "It is I who shall wait upon and accompany you," said Don Quixote;
"and I am much gratified by the favour that is bestowed upon me, and
the good opinion entertained of me, which I shall strive to justify or
it shall cost me my life, or even more, if it can possibly cost me
more."
  Many were the compliments and expressions of politeness that
passed between Don Quixote and Don Fernando; but they were brought
to an end by a traveller who at this moment entered the inn, and who
seemed from his attire to be a Christian lately come from the
country of the Moors, for he was dressed in a short-skirted coat of
blue cloth with half-sleeves and without a collar; his breeches were
also of blue cloth, and his cap of the same colour, and he wore yellow
buskins and had a Moorish cutlass slung from a baldric across his
breast. Behind him, mounted upon an ass, there came a woman dressed in
Moorish fashion, with her face veiled and a scarf on her head, and
wearing a little brocaded cap, and a mantle that covered her from
her shoulders to her feet. The man was of a robust and
well-proportioned frame, in age a little over forty, rather swarthy in
complexion, with long moustaches and a full beard, and, in short,
his appearance was such that if he had been well dressed he would have
been taken for a person of quality and good birth. On entering he
asked for a room, and when they told him there was none in the inn
he seemed distressed, and approaching her who by her dress seemed to
be a Moor he her down from saddle in his arms. Luscinda, Dorothea, the
landlady, her daughter and Maritornes, attracted by the strange, and
to them entirely new costume, gathered round her; and Dorothea, who
was always kindly, courteous, and quick-witted, perceiving that both
she and the man who had brought her were annoyed at not finding a
room, said to her, "Do not be put out, senora, by the discomfort and
want of luxuries here, for it is the way of road-side inns to be
without them; still, if you will be pleased to share our lodging
with us (pointing to Luscinda) perhaps you will have found worse
accommodation in the course of your journey."
  To this the veiled lady made no reply; all she did was to rise
from her seat, crossing her hands upon her bosom, bowing her head
and bending her body as a sign that she returned thanks. From her
silence they concluded that she must be a Moor and unable to speak a
Christian tongue.
  At this moment the captive came up, having been until now
otherwise engaged, and seeing that they all stood round his
companion and that she made no reply to what they addressed to her, he
said, "Ladies, this damsel hardly understands my language and can
speak none but that of her own country, for which reason she does
not and cannot answer what has been asked of her."
  "Nothing has been asked of her," returned Luscinda; "she has only
been offered our company for this evening and a share of the
quarters we occupy, where she shall be made as comfortable as the
circumstances allow, with the good-will we are bound to show all
strangers that stand in need of it, especially if it be a woman to
whom the service is rendered."
  "On her part and my own, senora," replied the captive, "I kiss
your hands, and I esteem highly, as I ought, the favour you have
offered, which, on such an occasion and coming from persons of your
appearance, is, it is plain to see, a very great one."
  "Tell me, senor," said Dorothea, "is this lady a Christian or a
Moor? for her dress and her silence lead us to imagine that she is
what we could wish she was not."
  "In dress and outwardly," said he, "she is a Moor, but at heart
she is a thoroughly good Christian, for she has the greatest desire to
become one."
  "Then she has not been baptised?" returned Luscinda.
  "There has been no opportunity for that," replied the captive,
"since she left Algiers, her native country and home; and up to the
present she has not found herself in any such imminent danger of death
as to make it necessary to baptise her before she has been
instructed in all the ceremonies our holy mother Church ordains;
but, please God, ere long she shall be baptised with the solemnity
befitting her which is higher than her dress or mine indicates."
  By these words he excited a desire in all who heard him, to know who
the Moorish lady and the captive were, but no one liked to ask just
then, seeing that it was a fitter moment for helping them to rest
themselves than for questioning them about their lives. Dorothea
took the Moorish lady by the hand and leading her to a seat beside
herself, requested her to remove her veil. She looked at the captive
as if to ask him what they meant and what she was to do. He said to
her in Arabic that they asked her to take off her veil, and
thereupon she removed it and disclosed a countenance so lovely, that
to Dorothea she seemed more beautiful than Luscinda, and to Luscinda
more beautiful than Dorothea, and all the bystanders felt that if
any beauty could compare with theirs it was the Moorish lady's, and
there were even those who were inclined to give it somewhat the
preference. And as it is the privilege and charm of beauty to win
the heart and secure good-will, all forthwith became eager to show
kindness and attention to the lovely Moor.
  Don Fernando asked the captive what her name was, and he replied
that it was Lela Zoraida; but the instant she heard him, she guessed
what the Christian had asked, and said hastily, with some
displeasure and energy, "No, not Zoraida; Maria, Maria!" giving them
to understand that she was called "Maria" and not "Zoraida." These
words, and the touching earnestness with which she uttered them,
drew more than one tear from some of the listeners, particularly the
women, who are by nature tender-hearted and compassionate. Luscinda
embraced her affectionately, saying, "Yes, yes, Maria, Maria," to
which the Moor replied, "Yes, yes, Maria; Zoraida macange," which
means "not Zoraida."
  Night was now approaching, and by the orders of those who
accompanied Don Fernando the landlord had taken care and pains to
prepare for them the best supper that was in his power. The hour
therefore having arrived they all took their seats at a long table
like a refectory one, for round or square table there was none in
the inn, and the seat of honour at the head of it, though he was for
refusing it, they assigned to Don Quixote, who desired the lady
Micomicona to place herself by his side, as he was her protector.
Luscinda and Zoraida took their places next her, opposite to them were
Don Fernando and Cardenio, and next the captive and the other
gentlemen, and by the side of the ladies, the curate and the barber.
And so they supped in high enjoyment, which was increased when they
observed Don Quixote leave off eating, and, moved by an impulse like
that which made him deliver himself at such length when he supped with
the goatherds, begin to address them:
  "Verily, gentlemen, if we reflect upon it, great and marvellous
are the things they see, who make profession of the order of
knight-errantry. Say, what being is there in this world, who
entering the gate of this castle at this moment, and seeing us as we
are here, would suppose or imagine us to be what we are? Who would say
that this lady who is beside me was the great queen that we all know
her to be, or that I am that Knight of the Rueful Countenance,
trumpeted far and wide by the mouth of Fame? Now, there can be no
doubt that this art and calling surpasses all those that mankind has
invented, and is the more deserving of being held in honour in
proportion as it is the more exposed to peril. Away with those who
assert that letters have the preeminence over arms; I will tell
them, whosoever they may be, that they know not what they say. For the
reason which such persons commonly assign, and upon which they chiefly
rest, is, that the labours of the mind are greater than those of the
body, and that arms give employment to the body alone; as if the
calling were a porter's trade, for which nothing more is required than
sturdy strength; or as if, in what we who profess them call arms,
there were not included acts of vigour for the execution of which high
intelligence is requisite; or as if the soul of the warrior, when he
has an army, or the defence of a city under his care, did not exert
itself as much by mind as by body. Nay; see whether by bodily strength
it be possible to learn or divine the intentions of the enemy, his
plans, stratagems, or obstacles, or to ward off impending mischief;
for all these are the work of the mind, and in them the body has no
share whatever. Since, therefore, arms have need of the mind, as
much as letters, let us see now which of the two minds, that of the
man of letters or that of the warrior, has most to do; and this will
be seen by the end and goal that each seeks to attain; for that
purpose is the more estimable which has for its aim the nobler object.
The end and goal of letters- I am not speaking now of divine
letters, the aim of which is to raise and direct the soul to Heaven;
for with an end so infinite no other can be compared- I speak of human
letters, the end of which is to establish distributive justice, give
to every man that which is his, and see and take care that good laws
are observed: an end undoubtedly noble, lofty, and deserving of high
praise, but not such as should be given to that sought by arms,
which have for their end and object peace, the greatest boon that
men can desire in this life. The first good news the world and mankind
received was that which the angels announced on the night that was our
day, when they sang in the air, 'Glory to God in the highest, and
peace on earth to men of good-will;' and the salutation which the
great Master of heaven and earth taught his disciples and chosen
followers when they entered any house, was to say, 'Peace be on this
house;' and many other times he said to them, 'My peace I give unto
you, my peace I leave you, peace be with you;' a jewel and a
precious gift given and left by such a hand: a jewel without which
there can be no happiness either on earth or in heaven. This peace
is the true end of war; and war is only another name for arms. This,
then, being admitted, that the end of war is peace, and that so far it
has the advantage of the end of letters, let us turn to the bodily
labours of the man of letters, and those of him who follows the
profession of arms, and see which are the greater."
  Don Quixote delivered his discourse in such a manner and in such
correct language, that for the time being he made it impossible for
any of his hearers to consider him a madman; on the contrary, as
they were mostly gentlemen, to whom arms are an appurtenance by birth,
they listened to him with great pleasure as he continued: "Here, then,
I say is what the student has to undergo; first of all poverty: not
that all are poor, but to put the case as strongly as possible: and
when I have said that he endures poverty, I think nothing more need be
said about his hard fortune, for he who is poor has no share of the
good things of life. This poverty he suffers from in various ways,
hunger, or cold, or nakedness, or all together; but for all that it is
not so extreme but that he gets something to eat, though it may be
at somewhat unseasonable hours and from the leavings of the rich;
for the greatest misery of the student is what they themselves call
'going out for soup,' and there is always some neighbour's brazier
or hearth for them, which, if it does not warm, at least tempers the
cold to them, and lastly, they sleep comfortably at night under a
roof. I will not go into other particulars, as for example want of
shirts, and no superabundance of shoes, thin and threadbare
garments, and gorging themselves to surfeit in their voracity when
good luck has treated them to a banquet of some sort. By this road
that I have described, rough and hard, stumbling here, falling
there, getting up again to fall again, they reach the rank they
desire, and that once attained, we have seen many who have passed
these Syrtes and Scyllas and Charybdises, as if borne flying on the
wings of favouring fortune; we have seen them, I say, ruling and
governing the world from a chair, their hunger turned into satiety,
their cold into comfort, their nakedness into fine raiment, their
sleep on a mat into repose in holland and damask, the justly earned
reward of their virtue; but, contrasted and compared with what the
warrior undergoes, all they have undergone falls far short of it, as I
am now about to show."
  CHAPTER XXXVIII
  WHICH TREATS OF THE CURIOUS DISCOURSE DON QUIXOTE DELIVERED ON
ARMS AND LETTERS

  CONTINUING his discourse Don Quixote said: "As we began in the
student's case with poverty and its accompaniments, let us see now
if the soldier is richer, and we shall find that in poverty itself
there is no one poorer; for he is dependent on his miserable pay,
which comes late or never, or else on what he can plunder, seriously
imperilling his life and conscience; and sometimes his nakedness
will be so great that a slashed doublet serves him for uniform and
shirt, and in the depth of winter he has to defend himself against the
inclemency of the weather in the open field with nothing better than
the breath of his mouth, which I need not say, coming from an empty
place, must come out cold, contrary to the laws of nature. To be
sure he looks forward to the approach of night to make up for all
these discomforts on the bed that awaits him, which, unless by some
fault of his, never sins by being over narrow, for he can easily
measure out on the ground as he likes, and roll himself about in it to
his heart's content without any fear of the sheets slipping away
from him. Then, after all this, suppose the day and hour for taking
his degree in his calling to have come; suppose the day of battle to
have arrived, when they invest him with the doctor's cap made of lint,
to mend some bullet-hole, perhaps, that has gone through his
temples, or left him with a crippled arm or leg. Or if this does not
happen, and merciful Heaven watches over him and keeps him safe and
sound, it may be he will be in the same poverty he was in before,
and he must go through more engagements and more battles, and come
victorious out of all before he betters himself; but miracles of
that sort are seldom seen. For tell me, sirs, if you have ever
reflected upon it, by how much do those who have gained by war fall
short of the number of those who have perished in it? No doubt you
will reply that there can be no comparison, that the dead cannot be
numbered, while the living who have been rewarded may be summed up
with three figures. All which is the reverse in the case of men of
letters; for by skirts, to say nothing of sleeves, they all find means
of support; so that though the soldier has more to endure, his
reward is much less. But against all this it may be urged that it is
easier to reward two thousand soldiers, for the former may be
remunerated by giving them places, which must perforce be conferred
upon men of their calling, while the latter can only be recompensed
out of the very property of the master they serve; but this
impossibility only strengthens my argument.
  "Putting this, however, aside, for it is a puzzling question for
which it is difficult to find a solution, let us return to the
superiority of arms over letters, a matter still undecided, so many
are the arguments put forward on each side; for besides those I have
mentioned, letters say that without them arms cannot maintain
themselves, for war, too, has its laws and is governed by them, and
laws belong to the domain of letters and men of letters. To this
arms make answer that without them laws cannot be maintained, for by
arms states are defended, kingdoms preserved, cities protected,
roads made safe, seas cleared of pirates; and, in short, if it were
not for them, states, kingdoms, monarchies, cities, ways by sea and
land would be exposed to the violence and confusion which war brings
with it, so long as it lasts and is free to make use of its privileges
and powers. And then it is plain that whatever costs most is valued
and deserves to be valued most. To attain to eminence in letters costs
a man time, watching, hunger, nakedness, headaches, indigestions,
and other things of the sort, some of which I have already referred
to. But for a man to come in the ordinary course of things to be a
good soldier costs him all the student suffers, and in an incomparably
higher degree, for at every step he runs the risk of losing his
life. For what dread of want or poverty that can reach or harass the
student can compare with what the soldier feels, who finds himself
beleaguered in some stronghold mounting guard in some ravelin or
cavalier, knows that the enemy is pushing a mine towards the post
where he is stationed, and cannot under any circumstances retire or
fly from the imminent danger that threatens him? All he can do is to
inform his captain of what is going on so that he may try to remedy it
by a counter-mine, and then stand his ground in fear and expectation
of the moment when he will fly up to the clouds without wings and
descend into the deep against his will. And if this seems a trifling
risk, let us see whether it is equalled or surpassed by the
encounter of two galleys stem to stem, in the midst of the open sea,
locked and entangled one with the other, when the soldier has no
more standing room than two feet of the plank of the spur; and yet,
though he sees before him threatening him as many ministers of death
as there are cannon of the foe pointed at him, not a lance length from
his body, and sees too that with the first heedless step he will go
down to visit the profundities of Neptune's bosom, still with
dauntless heart, urged on by honour that nerves him, he makes
himself a target for all that musketry, and struggles to cross that
narrow path to the enemy's ship. And what is still more marvellous, no
sooner has one gone down into the depths he will never rise from
till the end of the world, than another takes his place; and if he too
falls into the sea that waits for him like an enemy, another and
another will succeed him without a moment's pause between their
deaths: courage and daring the greatest that all the chances of war
can show. Happy the blest ages that knew not the dread fury of those
devilish engines of artillery, whose inventor I am persuaded is in
hell receiving the reward of his diabolical invention, by which he
made it easy for a base and cowardly arm to take the life of a gallant
gentleman; and that, when he knows not how or whence, in the height of
the ardour and enthusiasm that fire and animate brave hearts, there
should come some random bullet, discharged perhaps by one who fled
in terror at the flash when he fired off his accursed machine, which
in an instant puts an end to the projects and cuts off the life of one
who deserved to live for ages to come. And thus when I reflect on
this, I am almost tempted to say that in my heart I repent of having
adopted this profession of knight-errant in so detestable an age as we
live in now; for though no peril can make me fear, still it gives me
some uneasiness to think that powder and lead may rob me of the
opportunity of making myself famous and renowned throughout the
known earth by the might of my arm and the edge of my sword. But
Heaven's will be done; if I succeed in my attempt I shall be all the
more honoured, as I have faced greater dangers than the knights-errant
of yore exposed themselves to."
  All this lengthy discourse Don Quixote delivered while the others
supped, forgetting to raise a morsel to his lips, though Sancho more
than once told him to eat his supper, as he would have time enough
afterwards to say all he wanted. It excited fresh pity in those who
had heard him to see a man of apparently sound sense, and with
rational views on every subject he discussed, so hopelessly wanting in
all, when his wretched unlucky chivalry was in question. The curate
told him he was quite right in all he had said in favour of arms,
and that he himself, though a man of letters and a graduate, was of
the same opinion.
  They finished their supper, the cloth was removed, and while the
hostess, her daughter, and Maritornes were getting Don Quixote of La
Mancha's garret ready, in which it was arranged that the women were to
be quartered by themselves for the night, Don Fernando begged the
captive to tell them the story of his life, for it could not fail to
be strange and interesting, to judge by the hints he had let fall on
his arrival in company with Zoraida. To this the captive replied
that he would very willingly yield to his request, only he feared
his tale would not give them as much pleasure as he wished;
nevertheless, not to be wanting in compliance, he would tell it. The
curate and the others thanked him and added their entreaties, and he
finding himself so pressed said there was no occasion ask, where a
command had such weight, and added, "If your worships will give me
your attention you will hear a true story which, perhaps, fictitious
ones constructed with ingenious and studied art cannot come up to."
These words made them settle themselves in their places and preserve a
deep silence, and he seeing them waiting on his words in mute
expectation, began thus in a pleasant quiet voice.
  CHAPTER XXXIX
  WHEREIN THE CAPTIVE RELATES HIS LIFE AND ADVENTURES

  MY family had its origin in a village in the mountains of Leon,
and nature had been kinder and more generous to it than fortune;
though in the general poverty of those communities my father passed
for being even a rich man; and he would have been so in reality had he
been as clever in preserving his property as he was in spending it.
This tendency of his to be liberal and profuse he had acquired from
having been a soldier in his youth, for the soldier's life is a school
in which the niggard becomes free-handed and the free-handed prodigal;
and if any soldiers are to be found who are misers, they are
monsters of rare occurrence. My father went beyond liberality and
bordered on prodigality, a disposition by no means advantageous to a
married man who has children to succeed to his name and position. My
father had three, all sons, and all of sufficient age to make choice
of a profession. Finding, then, that he was unable to resist his
propensity, he resolved to divest himself of the instrument and
cause of his prodigality and lavishness, to divest himself of
wealth, without which Alexander himself would have seemed
parsimonious; and so calling us all three aside one day into a room,
he addressed us in words somewhat to the following effect:
  "My sons, to assure you that I love you, no more need be known or
said than that you are my sons; and to encourage a suspicion that I do
not love you, no more is needed than the knowledge that I have no
self-control as far as preservation of your patrimony is concerned;
therefore, that you may for the future feel sure that I love you
like a father, and have no wish to ruin you like a stepfather, I
propose to do with you what I have for some time back meditated, and
after mature deliberation decided upon. You are now of an age to
choose your line of life or at least make choice of a calling that
will bring you honour and profit when you are older; and what I have
resolved to do is to divide my property into four parts; three I
will give to you, to each his portion without making any difference,
and the other I will retain to live upon and support myself for
whatever remainder of life Heaven may be pleased to grant me. But I
wish each of you on taking possession of the share that falls to him
to follow one of the paths I shall indicate. In this Spain of ours
there is a proverb, to my mind very true- as they all are, being short
aphorisms drawn from long practical experience- and the one I refer to
says, 'The church, or the sea, or the king's house;' as much as to
say, in plainer language, whoever wants to flourish and become rich,
let him follow the church, or go to sea, adopting commerce as his
calling, or go into the king's service in his household, for they say,
'Better a king's crumb than a lord's favour.' I say so because it is
my will and pleasure that one of you should follow letters, another
trade, and the third serve the king in the wars, for it is a difficult
matter to gain admission to his service in his household, and if war
does not bring much wealth it confers great distinction and fame.
Eight days hence I will give you your full shares in money, without
defrauding you of a farthing, as you will see in the end. Now tell
me if you are willing to follow out my idea and advice as I have
laid it before you."
  Having called upon me as the eldest to answer, I, after urging him
not to strip himself of his property but to spend it all as he
pleased, for we were young men able to gain our living, consented to
comply with his wishes, and said that mine were to follow the
profession of arms and thereby serve God and my king. My second
brother having made the same proposal, decided upon going to the
Indies, embarking the portion that fell to him in trade. The youngest,
and in my opinion the wisest, said he would rather follow the
church, or go to complete his studies at Salamanca. As soon as we
had come to an understanding, and made choice of our professions, my
father embraced us all, and in the short time he mentioned carried
into effect all he had promised; and when he had given to each his
share, which as well as I remember was three thousand ducats apiece in
cash (for an uncle of ours bought the estate and paid for it down, not
to let it go out of the family), we all three on the same day took
leave of our good father; and at the same time, as it seemed to me
inhuman to leave my father with such scanty means in his old age, I
induced him to take two of my three thousand ducats, as the
remainder would be enough to provide me with all a soldier needed.
My two brothers, moved by my example, gave him each a thousand ducats,
so that there was left for my father four thousand ducats in money,
besides three thousand, the value of the portion that fell to him
which he preferred to retain in land instead of selling it. Finally,
as I said, we took leave of him, and of our uncle whom I have
mentioned, not without sorrow and tears on both sides, they charging
us to let them know whenever an opportunity offered how we fared,
whether well or ill. We promised to do so, and when he had embraced us
and given us his blessing, one set out for Salamanca, the other for
Seville, and I for Alicante, where I had heard there was a Genoese
vessel taking in a cargo of wool for Genoa.
  It is now some twenty-two years since I left my father's house,
and all that time, though I have written several letters, I have had
no news whatever of him or of my brothers; my own adventures during
that period I will now relate briefly. I embarked at Alicante, reached
Genoa after a prosperous voyage, and proceeded thence to Milan,
where I provided myself with arms and a few soldier's accoutrements;
thence it was my intention to go and take service in Piedmont, but
as I was already on the road to Alessandria della Paglia, I learned
that the great Duke of Alva was on his way to Flanders. I changed my
plans, joined him, served under him in the campaigns he made, was
present at the deaths of the Counts Egmont and Horn, and was
promoted to be ensign under a famous captain of Guadalajara, Diego
de Urbina by name. Some time after my arrival in Flanders news came of
the league that his Holiness Pope Pius V of happy memory, had made
with Venice and Spain against the common enemy, the Turk, who had just
then with his fleet taken the famous island of Cyprus, which
belonged to the Venetians, a loss deplorable and disastrous. It was
known as a fact that the Most Serene Don John of Austria, natural
brother of our good king Don Philip, was coming as
commander-in-chief of the allied forces, and rumours were abroad of
the vast warlike preparations which were being made, all which stirred
my heart and filled me with a longing to take part in the campaign
which was expected; and though I had reason to believe, and almost
certain promises, that on the first opportunity that presented
itself I should be promoted to be captain, I preferred to leave all
and betake myself, as I did, to Italy; and it was my good fortune that
Don John had just arrived at Genoa, and was going on to Naples to join
the Venetian fleet, as he afterwards did at Messina. I may say, in
short, that I took part in that glorious expedition, promoted by
this time to be a captain of infantry, to which honourable charge my
good luck rather than my merits raised me; and that day- so
fortunate for Christendom, because then all the nations of the earth
were disabused of the error under which they lay in imagining the
Turks to be invincible on sea-on that day, I say, on which the Ottoman
pride and arrogance were broken, among all that were there made
happy (for the Christians who died that day were happier than those
who remained alive and victorious) I alone was miserable; for, instead
of some naval crown that I might have expected had it been in Roman
times, on the night that followed that famous day I found myself
with fetters on my feet and manacles on my hands.
  It happened in this way: El Uchali, the king of Algiers, a daring
and successful corsair, having attacked and taken the leading
Maltese galley (only three knights being left alive in it, and they
badly wounded), the chief galley of John Andrea, on board of which I
and my company were placed, came to its relief, and doing as was bound
to do in such a case, I leaped on board the enemy's galley, which,
sheering off from that which had attacked it, prevented my men from
following me, and so I found myself alone in the midst of my
enemies, who were in such numbers that I was unable to resist; in
short I was taken, covered with wounds; El Uchali, as you know,
sirs, made his escape with his entire squadron, and I was left a
prisoner in his power, the only sad being among so many filled with
joy, and the only captive among so many free; for there were fifteen
thousand Christians, all at the oar in the Turkish fleet, that
regained their longed-for liberty that day.
  They carried me to Constantinople, where the Grand Turk, Selim, made
my master general at sea for having done his duty in the battle and
carried off as evidence of his bravery the standard of the Order of
Malta. The following year, which was the year seventy-two, I found
myself at Navarino rowing in the leading galley with the three
lanterns. There I saw and observed how the opportunity of capturing
the whole Turkish fleet in harbour was lost; for all the marines and
janizzaries that belonged to it made sure that they were about to be
attacked inside the very harbour, and had their kits and pasamaques,
or shoes, ready to flee at once on shore without waiting to be
assailed, in so great fear did they stand of our fleet. But Heaven
ordered it otherwise, not for any fault or neglect of the general
who commanded on our side, but for the sins of Christendom, and
because it was God's will and pleasure that we should always have
instruments of punishment to chastise us. As it was, El Uchali took
refuge at Modon, which is an island near Navarino, and landing
forces fortified the mouth of the harbour and waited quietly until Don
John retired. On this expedition was taken the galley called the
Prize, whose captain was a son of the famous corsair Barbarossa. It
was taken by the chief Neapolitan galley called the She-wolf,
commanded by that thunderbolt of war, that father of his men, that
successful and unconquered captain Don Alvaro de Bazan, Marquis of
Santa Cruz; and I cannot help telling you what took place at the
capture of the Prize.
  The son of Barbarossa was so cruel, and treated his slaves so badly,
that, when those who were at the oars saw that the She-wolf galley was
bearing down upon them and gaining upon them, they all at once dropped
their oars and seized their captain who stood on the stage at the
end of the gangway shouting to them to row lustily; and passing him on
from bench to bench, from the poop to the prow, they so bit him that
before he had got much past the mast his soul had already got to hell;
so great, as I said, was the cruelty with which he treated them, and
the hatred with which they hated him.
  We returned to Constantinople, and the following year,
seventy-three, it became known that Don John had seized Tunis and
taken the kingdom from the Turks, and placed Muley Hamet in
possession, putting an end to the hopes which Muley Hamida, the
cruelest and bravest Moor in the world, entertained of returning to
reign there. The Grand Turk took the loss greatly to heart, and with
the cunning which all his race possess, he made peace with the
Venetians (who were much more eager for it than he was), and the
following year, seventy-four, he attacked the Goletta and the fort
which Don John had left half built near Tunis. While all these
events were occurring, I was labouring at the oar without any hope
of freedom; at least I had no hope of obtaining it by ransom, for I
was firmly resolved not to write to my father telling him of my
misfortunes. At length the Goletta fell, and the fort fell, before
which places there were seventy-five thousand regular Turkish
soldiers, and more than four hundred thousand Moors and Arabs from all
parts of Africa, and in the train of all this great host such
munitions and engines of war, and so many pioneers that with their
hands they might have covered the Goletta and the fort with handfuls
of earth. The first to fall was the Goletta, until then reckoned
impregnable, and it fell, not by any fault of its defenders, who did
all that they could and should have done, but because experiment
proved how easily entrenchments could be made in the desert sand
there; for water used to be found at two palms depth, while the
Turks found none at two yards; and so by means of a quantity of
sandbags they raised their works so high that they commanded the walls
of the fort, sweeping them as if from a cavalier, so that no one was
able to make a stand or maintain the defence.
  It was a common opinion that our men should not have shut themselves
up in the Goletta, but should have waited in the open at the
landing-place; but those who say so talk at random and with little
knowledge of such matters; for if in the Goletta and in the fort there
were barely seven thousand soldiers, how could such a small number,
however resolute, sally out and hold their own against numbers like
those of the enemy? And how is it possible to help losing a stronghold
that is not relieved, above all when surrounded by a host of
determined enemies in their own country? But many thought, and I
thought so too, that it was special favour and mercy which Heaven
showed to Spain in permitting the destruction of that source and
hiding place of mischief, that devourer, sponge, and moth of countless
money, fruitlessly wasted there to no other purpose save preserving
the memory of its capture by the invincible Charles V; as if to make
that eternal, as it is and will be, these stones were needed to
support it. The fort also fell; but the Turks had to win it inch by
inch, for the soldiers who defended it fought so gallantly and stoutly
that the number of the enemy killed in twenty-two general assaults
exceeded twenty-five thousand. Of three hundred that remained alive
not one was taken unwounded, a clear and manifest proof of their
gallantry and resolution, and how sturdily they had defended
themselves and held their post. A small fort or tower which was in the
middle of the lagoon under the command of Don Juan Zanoguera, a
Valencian gentleman and a famous soldier, capitulated upon terms. They
took prisoner Don Pedro Puertocarrero, commandant of the Goletta,
who had done all in his power to defend his fortress, and took the
loss of it so much to heart that he died of grief on the way to
Constantinople, where they were carrying him a prisoner. They also
took the commandant of the fort, Gabrio Cerbellon by name, a
Milanese gentleman, a great engineer and a very brave soldier. In
these two fortresses perished many persons of note, among whom was
Pagano Doria, knight of the Order of St. John, a man of generous
disposition, as was shown by his extreme liberality to his brother,
the famous John Andrea Doria; and what made his death the more sad was
that he was slain by some Arabs to whom, seeing that the fort was
now lost, he entrusted himself, and who offered to conduct him in
the disguise of a Moor to Tabarca, a small fort or station on the
coast held by the Genoese employed in the coral fishery. These Arabs
cut off his head and carried it to the commander of the Turkish fleet,
who proved on them the truth of our Castilian proverb, that "though
the treason may please, the traitor is hated;" for they say he ordered
those who brought him the present to be hanged for not having
brought him alive.
  Among the Christians who were taken in the fort was one named Don
Pedro de Aguilar, a native of some place, I know not what, in
Andalusia, who had been ensign in the fort, a soldier of great
repute and rare intelligence, who had in particular a special gift for
what they call poetry. I say so because his fate brought him to my
galley and to my bench, and made him a slave to the same master; and
before we left the port this gentleman composed two sonnets by way
of epitaphs, one on the Goletta and the other on the fort; indeed, I
may as well repeat them, for I have them by heart, and I think they
will be liked rather than disliked.

  The instant the captive mentioned the name of Don Pedro de
Aguilar, Don Fernando looked at his companions and they all three
smiled; and when he came to speak of the sonnets one of them said,
"Before your worship proceeds any further I entreat you to tell me
what became of that Don Pedro de Aguilar you have spoken of."
  "All I know is," replied the captive, "that after having been in
Constantinople two years, he escaped in the disguise of an Arnaut,
in company with a Greek spy; but whether he regained his liberty or
not I cannot tell, though I fancy he did, because a year afterwards
I saw the Greek at Constantinople, though I was unable to ask him what
the result of the journey was."
  "Well then, you are right," returned the gentleman, "for that Don
Pedro is my brother, and he is now in our village in good health,
rich, married, and with three children."
  "Thanks be to God for all the mercies he has shown him," said the
captive; "for to my mind there is no happiness on earth to compare
with recovering lost liberty."
  "And what is more," said the gentleman, "I know the sonnets my
brother made."
  "Then let your worship repeat them," said the captive, "for you will
recite them better than I can."
  "With all my heart," said the gentleman; "that on the Goletta runs
thus."
  CHAPTER XL
  IN WHICH THE STORY OF THE CAPTIVE IS CONTINUED.

                         SONNET

     "Blest souls, that, from this mortal husk set free,
       In guerdon of brave deeds beatified,
       Above this lowly orb of ours abide
     Made heirs of heaven and immortality,
     With noble rage and ardour glowing ye
       Your strength, while strength was yours, in battle plied,
       And with your own blood and the foeman's dyed
     The sandy soil and the encircling sea.
     It was the ebbing life-blood first that failed
     The weary arms; the stout hearts never quailed.
       Though vanquished, yet ye earned the victor's crown:
     Though mourned, yet still triumphant was your fall
     For there ye won, between the sword and wall,
       In Heaven glory and on earth renown."

  "That is it exactly, according to my recollection," said the
captive.

  "Well then, that on the fort," said the gentleman, "if my memory
serves me, goes thus:

                            SONNET

     "Up from this wasted soil, this shattered shell,
       Whose walls and towers here in ruin lie,
       Three thousand soldier souls took wing on high,
     In the bright mansions of the blest to dwell.
     The onslaught of the foeman to repel
       By might of arm all vainly did they try,
       And when at length 'twas left them but to die,
     Wearied and few the last defenders fell.
     And this same arid soil hath ever been
     A haunt of countless mournful memories,
       As well in our day as in days of yore.
     But never yet to Heaven it sent, I ween,
     From its hard bosom purer souls than these,
       Or braver bodies on its surface bore."

   The sonnets were not disliked, and the captive was rejoiced at
the tidings they gave him of his comrade, and continuing his tale,
he went on to say:

  The Goletta and the fort being thus in their hands, the Turks gave
orders to dismantle the Goletta- for the fort was reduced to such a
state that there was nothing left to level- and to do the work more
quickly and easily they mined it in three places; but nowhere were
they able to blow up the part which seemed to be the least strong,
that is to say, the old walls, while all that remained standing of the
new fortifications that the Fratin had made came to the ground with
the greatest ease. Finally the fleet returned victorious and
triumphant to Constantinople, and a few months later died my master,
El Uchali, otherwise Uchali Fartax, which means in Turkish "the scabby
renegade;" for that he was; it is the practice with the Turks to
name people from some defect or virtue they may possess; the reason
being that there are among them only four surnames belonging to
families tracing their descent from the Ottoman house, and the others,
as I have said, take their names and surnames either from bodily
blemishes or moral qualities. This "scabby one" rowed at the oar as
a slave of the Grand Signor's for fourteen years, and when over
thirty-four years of age, in resentment at having been struck by a
Turk while at the oar, turned renegade and renounced his faith in
order to be able to revenge himself; and such was his valour that,
without owing his advancement to the base ways and means by which most
favourites of the Grand Signor rise to power, he came to be king of
Algiers, and afterwards general-on-sea, which is the third place of
trust in the realm. He was a Calabrian by birth, and a worthy man
morally, and he treated his slaves with great humanity. He had three
thousand of them, and after his death they were divided, as he
directed by his will, between the Grand Signor (who is heir of all who
die and shares with the children of the deceased) and his renegades. I
fell to the lot of a Venetian renegade who, when a cabin boy on
board a ship, had been taken by Uchali and was so much beloved by
him that he became one of his most favoured youths. He came to be
the most cruel renegade I ever saw: his name was Hassan Aga, and he
grew very rich and became king of Algiers. With him I went there
from Constantinople, rather glad to be so near Spain, not that I
intended to write to anyone about my unhappy lot, but to try if
fortune would be kinder to me in Algiers than in Constantinople, where
I had attempted in a thousand ways to escape without ever finding a
favourable time or chance; but in Algiers I resolved to seek for other
means of effecting the purpose I cherished so dearly; for the hope
of obtaining my liberty never deserted me; and when in my plots and
schemes and attempts the result did not answer my expectations,
without giving way to despair I immediately began to look out for or
conjure up some new hope to support me, however faint or feeble it
might be.
  In this way I lived on immured in a building or prison called by the
Turks a bano in which they confine the Christian captives, as well
those that are the king's as those belonging to private individuals,
and also what they call those of the Almacen, which is as much as to
say the slaves of the municipality, who serve the city in the public
works and other employments; but captives of this kind recover their
liberty with great difficulty, for, as they are public property and
have no particular master, there is no one with whom to treat for
their ransom, even though they may have the means. To these banos,
as I have said, some private individuals of the town are in the
habit of bringing their captives, especially when they are to be
ransomed; because there they can keep them in safety and comfort until
their ransom arrives. The king's captives also, that are on ransom, do
not go out to work with the rest of the crew, unless when their ransom
is delayed; for then, to make them write for it more pressingly,
they compel them to work and go for wood, which is no light labour.
  I, however, was one of those on ransom, for when it was discovered
that I was a captain, although I declared my scanty means and want
of fortune, nothing could dissuade them from including me among the
gentlemen and those waiting to be ransomed. They put a chain on me,
more as a mark of this than to keep me safe, and so I passed my life
in that bano with several other gentlemen and persons of quality
marked out as held to ransom; but though at times, or rather almost
always, we suffered from hunger and scanty clothing, nothing
distressed us so much as hearing and seeing at every turn the
unexampled and unheard-of cruelties my master inflicted upon the
Christians. Every day he hanged a man, impaled one, cut off the ears
of another; and all with so little provocation, or so entirely without
any, that the Turks acknowledged he did it merely for the sake of
doing it, and because he was by nature murderously disposed towards
the whole human race. The only one that fared at all well with him was
a Spanish soldier, something de Saavedra by name, to whom he never
gave a blow himself, or ordered a blow to be given, or addressed a
hard word, although he had done things that will dwell in the memory
of the people there for many a year, and all to recover his liberty;
and for the least of the many things he did we all dreaded that he
would be impaled, and he himself was in fear of it more than once; and
only that time does not allow, I could tell you now something of
what that soldier did, that would interest and astonish you much
more than the narration of my own tale.
  To go on with my story; the courtyard of our prison was overlooked
by the windows of the house belonging to a wealthy Moor of high
position; and these, as is usual in Moorish houses, were rather
loopholes than windows, and besides were covered with thick and
close lattice-work. It so happened, then, that as I was one day on the
terrace of our prison with three other comrades, trying, to pass
away the time, how far we could leap with our chains, we being
alone, for all the other Christians had gone out to work, I chanced to
raise my eyes, and from one of these little closed windows I saw a
reed appear with a cloth attached to the end of it, and it kept waving
to and fro, and moving as if making signs to us to come and take it.
We watched it, and one of those who were with me went and stood
under the reed to see whether they would let it drop, or what they
would do, but as he did so the reed was raised and moved from side
to side, as if they meant to say "no" by a shake of the head. The
Christian came back, and it was again lowered, making the same
movements as before. Another of my comrades went, and with him the
same happened as with the first, and then the third went forward,
but with the same result as the first and second. Seeing this I did
not like not to try my luck, and as soon as I came under the reed it
was dropped and fell inside the bano at my feet. I hastened to untie
the cloth, in which I perceived a knot, and in this were ten cianis,
which are coins of base gold, current among the Moors, and each
worth ten reals of our money.
  It is needless to say I rejoiced over this godsend, and my joy was
not less than my wonder as I strove to imagine how this good fortune
could have come to us, but to me specially; for the evident
unwillingness to drop the reed for any but me showed that it was for
me the favour was intended. I took my welcome money, broke the reed,
and returned to the terrace, and looking up at the window, I saw a
very white hand put out that opened and shut very quickly. From this
we gathered or fancied that it must be some woman living in that house
that had done us this kindness, and to show that we were grateful
for it, we made salaams after the fashion of the Moors, bowing the
head, bending the body, and crossing the arms on the breast. Shortly
afterwards at the same window a small cross made of reeds was put
out and immediately withdrawn. This sign led us to believe that some
Christian woman was a captive in the house, and that it was she who
had been so good to us; but the whiteness of the hand and the
bracelets we had perceived made us dismiss that idea, though we
thought it might be one of the Christian renegades whom their
masters very often take as lawful wives, and gladly, for they prefer
them to the women of their own nation. In all our conjectures we
were wide of the truth; so from that time forward our sole
occupation was watching and gazing at the window where the cross had
appeared to us, as if it were our pole-star; but at least fifteen days
passed without our seeing either it or the hand, or any other sign and
though meanwhile we endeavoured with the utmost pains to ascertain who
it was that lived in the house, and whether there were any Christian
renegade in it, nobody could ever tell us anything more than that he
who lived there was a rich Moor of high position, Hadji Morato by
name, formerly alcaide of La Pata, an office of high dignity among
them. But when we least thought it was going to rain any more cianis
from that quarter, we saw the reed suddenly appear with another
cloth tied in a larger knot attached to it, and this at a time when,
as on the former occasion, the bano was deserted and unoccupied.
  We made trial as before, each of the same three going forward before
I did; but the reed was delivered to none but me, and on my approach
it was let drop. I untied the knot and I found forty Spanish gold
crowns with a paper written in Arabic, and at the end of the writing
there was a large cross drawn. I kissed the cross, took the crowns and
returned to the terrace, and we all made our salaams; again the hand
appeared, I made signs that I would read the paper, and then the
window was closed. We were all puzzled, though filled with joy at what
had taken place; and as none of us understood Arabic, great was our
curiosity to know what the paper contained, and still greater the
difficulty of finding some one to read it. At last I resolved to
confide in a renegade, a native of Murcia, who professed a very
great friendship for me, and had given pledges that bound him to
keep any secret I might entrust to him; for it is the custom with some
renegades, when they intend to return to Christian territory, to carry
about them certificates from captives of mark testifying, in
whatever form they can, that such and such a renegade is a worthy
man who has always shown kindness to Christians, and is anxious to
escape on the first opportunity that may present itself. Some obtain
these testimonials with good intentions, others put them to a
cunning use; for when they go to pillage on Christian territory, if
they chance to be cast away, or taken prisoners, they produce their
certificates and say that from these papers may be seen the object
they came for, which was to remain on Christian ground, and that it
was to this end they joined the Turks in their foray. In this way they
escape the consequences of the first outburst and make their peace
with the Church before it does them any harm, and then when they
have the chance they return to Barbary to become what they were
before. Others, however, there are who procure these papers and make
use of them honestly, and remain on Christian soil. This friend of
mine, then, was one of these renegades that I have described; he had
certificates from all our comrades, in which we testified in his
favour as strongly as we could; and if the Moors had found the
papers they would have burned him alive.
  I knew that he understood Arabic very well, and could not only speak
but also write it; but before I disclosed the whole matter to him, I
asked him to read for me this paper which I had found by accident in a
hole in my cell. He opened it and remained some time examining it
and muttering to himself as he translated it. I asked him if he
understood it, and he told me he did perfectly well, and that if I
wished him to tell me its meaning word for word, I must give him pen
and ink that he might do it more satisfactorily. We at once gave him
what he required, and he set about translating it bit by bit, and when
he had done he said:
  "All that is here in Spanish is what the Moorish paper contains, and
you must bear in mind that when it says 'Lela
Marien' it means 'Our Lady the Virgin Mary.'"
  We read the paper and it ran thus:
  "When I was a child my father had a slave who taught me to pray
the Christian prayer in my own language, and told me many things about
Lela Marien. The Christian died, and I know that she did not go to the
fire, but to Allah, because since then I have seen her twice, and
she told me to go to the land of the Christians to see Lela Marien,
who had great love for me. I know not how to go. I have seen many
Christians, but except thyself none has seemed to me to be a
gentleman. I am young and beautiful, and have plenty of money to
take with me. See if thou canst contrive how we may go, and if thou
wilt thou shalt be my husband there, and if thou wilt not it will
not distress me, for Lela Marien will find me some one to marry me.
I myself have written this: have a care to whom thou givest it to
read: trust no Moor, for they are all perfidious. I am greatly
troubled on this account, for I would not have thee confide in anyone,
because if my father knew it he would at once fling me down a well and
cover me with stones. I will put a thread to the reed; tie the
answer to it, and if thou hast no one to write for thee in Arabic,
tell it to me by signs, for Lela Marien will make me understand
thee. She and Allah and this cross, which I often kiss as the
captive bade me, protect thee."
  Judge, sirs, whether we had reason for surprise and joy at the words
of this paper; and both one and the other were so great, that the
renegade perceived that the paper had not been found by chance, but
had been in reality addressed to some one of us, and he begged us,
if what he suspected were the truth, to trust him and tell him all,
for he would risk his life for our freedom; and so saying he took
out from his breast a metal crucifix, and with many tears swore by the
God the image represented, in whom, sinful and wicked as he was, he
truly and faithfully believed, to be loyal to us and keep secret
whatever we chose to reveal to him; for he thought and almost
foresaw that by means of her who had written that paper, he and all of
us would obtain our liberty, and he himself obtain the object he so
much desired, his restoration to the bosom of the Holy Mother
Church, from which by his own sin and ignorance he was now severed
like a corrupt limb. The renegade said this with so many tears and
such signs of repentance, that with one consent we all agreed to
tell him the whole truth of the matter, and so we gave him a full
account of all, without hiding anything from him. We pointed out to
him the window at which the reed appeared, and he by that means took
note of the house, and resolved to ascertain with particular care
who lived in it. We agreed also that it would be advisable to answer
the Moorish lady's letter, and the renegade without a moment's delay
took down the words I dictated to him, which were exactly what I shall
tell you, for nothing of importance that took place in this affair has
escaped my memory, or ever will while life lasts. This, then, was
the answer returned to the Moorish lady:
  "The true Allah protect thee, Lady, and that blessed Marien who is
the true mother of God, and who has put it into thy heart to go to the
land of the Christians, because she loves thee. Entreat her that she
be pleased to show thee how thou canst execute the command she gives
thee, for she will, such is her goodness. On my own part, and on
that of all these Christians who are with me, I promise to do all that
we can for thee, even to death. Fail not to write to me and inform
me what thou dost mean to do, and I will always answer thee; for the
great Allah has given us a Christian captive who can speak and write
thy language well, as thou mayest see by this paper; without fear,
therefore, thou canst inform us of all thou wouldst. As to what thou
sayest, that if thou dost reach the land of the Christians thou wilt
be my wife, I give thee my promise upon it as a good Christian; and
know that the Christians keep their promises better than the Moors.
Allah and Marien his mother watch over thee, my Lady."
  The paper being written and folded I waited two days until the
bano was empty as before, and immediately repaired to the usual walk
on the terrace to see if there were any sign of the reed, which was
not long in making its appearance. As soon as I saw it, although I
could not distinguish who put it out, I showed the paper as a sign
to attach the thread, but it was already fixed to the reed, and to
it I tied the paper; and shortly afterwards our star once more made
its appearance with the white flag of peace, the little bundle. It was
dropped, and I picked it up, and found in the cloth, in gold and
silver coins of all sorts, more than fifty crowns, which fifty times
more strengthened our joy and doubled our hope of gaining our liberty.
That very night our renegade returned and said he had learned that the
Moor we had been told of lived in that house, that his name was
Hadji Morato, that he was enormously rich, that he had one only
daughter the heiress of all his wealth, and that it was the general
opinion throughout the city that she was the most beautiful woman in
Barbary, and that several of the viceroys who came there had sought
her for a wife, but that she had been always unwilling to marry; and
he had learned, moreover, that she had a Christian slave who was now
dead; all which agreed with the contents of the paper. We
immediately took counsel with the renegade as to what means would have
to be adopted in order to carry off the Moorish lady and bring us
all to Christian territory; and in the end it was agreed that for
the present we should wait for a second communication from Zoraida
(for that was the name of her who now desires to be called Maria),
because we saw clearly that she and no one else could find a way out
of all these difficulties. When we had decided upon this the
renegade told us not to be uneasy, for he would lose his life or
restore us to liberty. For four days the bano was filled with
people, for which reason the reed delayed its appearance for four
days, but at the end of that time, when the bano was, as it
generally was, empty, it appeared with the cloth so bulky that it
promised a happy birth. Reed and cloth came down to me, and I found
another paper and a hundred crowns in gold, without any other coin.
The renegade was present, and in our cell we gave him the paper to
read, which was to this effect:
  "I cannot think of a plan, senor, for our going to Spain, nor has
Lela Marien shown me one, though I have asked her. All that can be
done is for me to give you plenty of money in gold from this window.
With it ransom yourself and your friends, and let one of you go to the
land of the Christians, and there buy a vessel and come back for the
others; and he will find me in my father's garden, which is at the
Babazon gate near the seashore, where I shall be all this summer
with my father and my servants. You can carry me away from there by
night without any danger, and bring me to the vessel. And remember
thou art to be my husband, else I will pray to Marien to punish
thee. If thou canst not trust anyone to go for the vessel, ransom
thyself and do thou go, for I know thou wilt return more surely than
any other, as thou art a gentleman and a Christian. Endeavour to
make thyself acquainted with the garden; and when I see thee walking
yonder I shall know that the bano is empty and I will give thee
abundance of money. Allah protect thee, senor."
  These were the words and contents of the second paper, and on
hearing them, each declared himself willing to be the ransomed one,
and promised to go and return with scrupulous good faith; and I too
made the same offer; but to all this the renegade objected, saying
that he would not on any account consent to one being set free
before all went together, as experience had taught him how ill those
who have been set free keep promises which they made in captivity; for
captives of distinction frequently had recourse to this plan, paying
the ransom of one who was to go to Valencia or Majorca with money to
enable him to arm a bark and return for the others who had ransomed
him, but who never came back; for recovered liberty and the dread of
losing it again efface from the memory all the obligations in the
world. And to prove the truth of what he said, he told us briefly what
had happened to a certain Christian gentleman almost at that very
time, the strangest case that had ever occurred even there, where
astonishing and marvellous things are happening every instant. In
short, he ended by saying that what could and ought to be done was
to give the money intended for the ransom of one of us Christians to
him, so that he might with it buy a vessel there in Algiers under
the pretence of becoming a merchant and trader at Tetuan and along the
coast; and when master of the vessel, it would be easy for him to
hit on some way of getting us all out of the bano and putting us on
board; especially if the Moorish lady gave, as she said, money
enough to ransom all, because once free it would be the easiest
thing in the world for us to embark even in open day; but the greatest
difficulty was that the Moors do not allow any renegade to buy or
own any craft, unless it be a large vessel for going on roving
expeditions, because they are afraid that anyone who buys a small
vessel, especially if he be a Spaniard, only wants it for the
purpose of escaping to Christian territory. This however he could
get over by arranging with a Tagarin Moor to go shares with him in the
purchase of the vessel, and in the profit on the cargo; and under
cover of this he could become master of the vessel, in which case he
looked upon all the rest as accomplished. But though to me and my
comrades it had seemed a better plan to send to Majorca for the
vessel, as the Moorish lady suggested, we did not dare to oppose
him, fearing that if we did not do as he said he would denounce us,
and place us in danger of losing all our lives if he were to
disclose our dealings with Zoraida, for whose life we would have all
given our own. We therefore resolved to put ourselves in the hands
of God and in the renegade's; and at the same time an answer was given
to Zoraida, telling her that we would do all she recommended, for
she had given as good advice as if Lela Marien had delivered it, and
that it depended on her alone whether we were to defer the business or
put it in execution at once. I renewed my promise to be her husband;
and thus the next day that the bano chanced to be empty she at
different times gave us by means of the reed and cloth two thousand
gold crowns and a paper in which she said that the next Juma, that
is to say Friday, she was going to her father's garden, but that
before she went she would give us more money; and if it were not
enough we were to let her know, as she would give us as much as we
asked, for her father had so much he would not miss it, and besides
she kept all the keys.
  We at once gave the renegade five hundred crowns to buy the
vessel, and with eight hundred I ransomed myself, giving the money
to a Valencian merchant who happened to be in Algiers at the time, and
who had me released on his word, pledging it that on the arrival of
the first ship from Valencia he would pay my ransom; for if he had
given the money at once it would have made the king suspect that my
ransom money had been for a long time in Algiers, and that the
merchant had for his own advantage kept it secret. In fact my master
was so difficult to deal with that I dared not on any account pay down
the money at once. The Thursday before the Friday on which the fair
Zoraida was to go to the garden she gave us a thousand crowns more,
and warned us of her departure, begging me, if I were ransomed, to
find out her father's garden at once, and by all means to seek an
opportunity of going there to see her. I answered in a few words
that I would do so, and that she must remember to commend us to Lela
Marien with all the prayers the captive had taught her. This having
been done, steps were taken to ransom our three comrades, so as to
enable them to quit the bano, and lest, seeing me ransomed and
themselves not, though the money was forthcoming, they should make a
disturbance about it and the devil should prompt them to do
something that might injure Zoraida; for though their position might
be sufficient to relieve me from this apprehension, nevertheless I was
unwilling to run any risk in the matter; and so I had them ransomed in
the same way as I was, handing over all the money to the merchant so
that he might with safety and confidence give security; without,
however, confiding our arrangement and secret to him, which might have
been dangerous.
  CHAPTER XLI
  IN WHICH THE CAPTIVE STILL CONTINUES HIS ADVENTURES

  BEFORE fifteen days were over our renegade had already purchased
an excellent vessel with room for more than thirty persons; and to
make the transaction safe and lend a colour to it, he thought it
well to make, as he did, a voyage to a place called Shershel, twenty
leagues from Algiers on the Oran side, where there is an extensive
trade in dried figs. Two or three times he made this voyage in company
with the Tagarin already mentioned. The Moors of Aragon are called
Tagarins in Barbary, and those of Granada Mudejars; but in the Kingdom
of Fez they call the Mudejars Elches, and they are the people the king
chiefly employs in war. To proceed: every time he passed with his
vessel he anchored in a cove that was not two crossbow shots from
the garden where Zoraida was waiting; and there the renegade, together
with the two Moorish lads that rowed, used purposely to station
himself, either going through his prayers, or else practising as a
part what he meant to perform in earnest. And thus he would go to
Zoraida's garden and ask for fruit, which her father gave him, not
knowing him; but though, as he afterwards told me, he sought to
speak to Zoraida, and tell her who he was, and that by my orders he
was to take her to the land of the Christians, so that she might
feel satisfied and easy, he had never been able to do so; for the
Moorish women do not allow themselves to be seen by any Moor or
Turk, unless their husband or father bid them: with Christian captives
they permit freedom of intercourse and communication, even more than
might be considered proper. But for my part I should have been sorry
if he had spoken to her, for perhaps it might have alarmed her to find
her affairs talked of by renegades. But God, who ordered it otherwise,
afforded no opportunity for our renegade's well-meant purpose; and he,
seeing how safely he could go to Shershel and return, and anchor
when and how and where he liked, and that the Tagarin his partner
had no will but his, and that, now I was ransomed, all we wanted was
to find some Christians to row, told me to look out for any I should
he willing to take with me, over and above those who had been
ransomed, and to engage them for the next Friday, which he fixed
upon for our departure. On this I spoke to twelve Spaniards, all stout
rowers, and such as could most easily leave the city; but it was no
easy matter to find so many just then, because there were twenty ships
out on a cruise and they had taken all the rowers with them; and these
would not have been found were it not that their master remained at
home that summer without going to sea in order to finish a galliot
that he had upon the stocks. To these men I said nothing more than
that the next Friday in the evening they were to come out stealthily
one by one and hang about Hadji Morato's garden, waiting for me
there until I came. These directions I gave each one separately,
with orders that if they saw any other Christians there they were
not to say anything to them except that I had directed them to wait at
that spot.
  This preliminary having been settled, another still more necessary
step had to be taken, which was to let Zoraida know how matters
stood that she might be prepared and forewarned, so as not to be taken
by surprise if we were suddenly to seize upon her before she thought
the Christians' vessel could have returned. I determined, therefore,
to go to the garden and try if I could speak to her; and the day
before my departure I went there under the pretence of gathering
herbs. The first person I met was her father, who addressed me in
the language that all over Barbary and even in Constantinople is the
medium between captives and Moors, and is neither Morisco nor
Castilian, nor of any other nation, but a mixture of all languages, by
means of which we can all understand one another. In this sort of
language, I say, he asked me what I wanted in his garden, and to
whom I belonged. I replied that I was a slave of the Arnaut Mami
(for I knew as a certainty that he was a very great friend of his),
and that I wanted some herbs to make a salad. He asked me then whether
I were on ransom or not, and what my master demanded for me. While
these questions and answers were proceeding, the fair Zoraida, who had
already perceived me some time before, came out of the house in the
garden, and as Moorish women are by no means particular about
letting themselves be seen by Christians, or, as I have said before,
at all coy, she had no hesitation in coming to where her father
stood with me; moreover her father, seeing her approaching slowly,
called to her to come. It would be beyond my power now to describe
to you the great beauty, the high-bred air, the brilliant attire of my
beloved Zoraida as she presented herself before my eyes. I will
content myself with saying that more pearls hung from her fair neck,
her ears, and her hair than she had hairs on her head. On her
ankles, which as is customary were bare, she had carcajes (for so
bracelets or anklets are called in Morisco) of the purest gold, set
with so many diamonds that she told me afterwards her father valued
them at ten thousand doubloons, and those she had on her wrists were
worth as much more. The pearls were in profusion and very fine, for
the highest display and adornment of the Moorish women is decking
themselves with rich pearls and seed-pearls; and of these there are
therefore more among the Moors than among any other people.
Zoraida's father had to the reputation of possessing a great number,
and the purest in all Algiers, and of possessing also more than two
hundred thousand Spanish crowns; and she, who is now mistress of me
only, was mistress of all this. Whether thus adorned she would have
been beautiful or not, and what she must have been in her
prosperity, may be imagined from the beauty remaining to her after
so many hardships; for, as everyone knows, the beauty of some women
has its times and its seasons, and is increased or diminished by
chance causes; and naturally the emotions of the mind will heighten or
impair it, though indeed more frequently they totally destroy it. In a
word she presented herself before me that day attired with the
utmost splendour, and supremely beautiful; at any rate, she seemed
to me the most beautiful object I had ever seen; and when, besides,
I thought of all I owed to her I felt as though I had before me some
heavenly being come to earth to bring me relief and happiness.
  As she approached her father told her in his own language that I was
a captive belonging to his friend the Arnaut Mami, and that I had come
for salad.
  She took up the conversation, and in that mixture of tongues I
have spoken of she asked me if I was a gentleman, and why I was not
ransomed.
  I answered that I was already ransomed, and that by the price it
might be seen what value my master set on me, as I had given one
thousand five hundred zoltanis for me; to which she replied, "Hadst
thou been my father's, I can tell thee, I would not have let him
part with thee for twice as much, for you Christians always tell
lies about yourselves and make yourselves out poor to cheat the
Moors."
  "That may be, lady," said I; "but indeed I dealt truthfully with
my master, as I do and mean to do with everybody in the world."
  "And when dost thou go?" said Zoraida.
  "To-morrow, I think," said I, "for there is a vessel here from
France which sails to-morrow, and I think I shall go in her."
  "Would it not be better," said Zoraida, "to wait for the arrival
of ships from Spain and go with them and not with the French who are
not your friends?"
  "No," said I; "though if there were intelligence that a vessel
were now coming from Spain it is true I might, perhaps, wait for it;
however, it is more likely I shall depart to-morrow, for the longing I
feel to return to my country and to those I love is so great that it
will not allow me to wait for another opportunity, however more
convenient, if it be delayed."
  "No doubt thou art married in thine own country," said Zoraida, "and
for that reason thou art anxious to go and see thy wife."
  "I am not married," I replied, "but I have given my promise to marry
on my arrival there."
  "And is the lady beautiful to whom thou hast given it?" said
Zoraida.
  "So beautiful," said I, "that, to describe her worthily and tell
thee the truth, she is very like thee."
  At this her father laughed very heartily and said, "By Allah,
Christian, she must be very beautiful if she is like my daughter,
who is the most beautiful woman in all this kingdom: only look at
her well and thou wilt see I am telling the truth."
  Zoraida's father as the better linguist helped to interpret most
of these words and phrases, for though she spoke the bastard language,
that, as I have said, is employed there, she expressed her meaning
more by signs than by words.
  While we were still engaged in this conversation, a Moor came
running up, exclaiming that four Turks had leaped over the fence or
wall of the garden, and were gathering the fruit though it was not yet
ripe. The old man was alarmed and Zoraida too, for the Moors commonly,
and, so to speak, instinctively have a dread of the Turks, but
particularly of the soldiers, who are so insolent and domineering to
the Moors who are under their power that they treat them worse than if
they were their slaves. Her father said to Zoraida, "Daughter,
retire into the house and shut thyself in while I go and speak to
these dogs; and thou, Christian, pick thy herbs, and go in peace,
and Allah bring thee safe to thy own country."
  I bowed, and he went away to look for the Turks, leaving me alone
with Zoraida, who made as if she were about to retire as her father
bade her; but the moment he was concealed by the trees of the
garden, turning to me with her eyes full of tears she said, Tameji,
cristiano, tameji?" that is to say, "Art thou going, Christian, art
thou going?"
  I made answer, "Yes, lady, but not without thee, come what may: be
on the watch for me on the next Juma, and be not alarmed when thou
seest us; for most surely we shall go to the land of the Christians."
  This I said in such a way that she understood perfectly all that
passed between us, and throwing her arm round my neck she began with
feeble steps to move towards the house; but as fate would have it (and
it might have been very unfortunate if Heaven had not otherwise
ordered it), just as we were moving on in the manner and position I
have described, with her arm round my neck, her father, as he returned
after having sent away the Turks, saw how we were walking and we
perceived that he saw us; but Zoraida, ready and quickwitted, took
care not to remove her arm from my neck, but on the contrary drew
closer to me and laid her head on my breast, bending her knees a
little and showing all the signs and tokens of ainting, while I at the
same time made it seem as though I were supporting her against my
will. Her father came running up to where we were, and seeing his
daughter in this state asked what was the matter with her; she,
however, giving no answer, he said, "No doubt she has fainted in alarm
at the entrance of those dogs," and taking her from mine he drew her
to his own breast, while she sighing, her eyes still wet with tears,
said again, "Ameji, cristiano, ameji"- "Go, Christian, go." To this
her father replied, "There is no need, daughter, for the Christian
to go, for he has done thee no harm, and the Turks have now gone; feel
no alarm, there is nothing to hurt thee, for as I say, the Turks at my
request have gone back the way they came."
  "It was they who terrified her, as thou hast said, senor," said I to
her father; "but since she tells me to go, I have no wish to displease
her: peace be with thee, and with thy leave I will come back to this
garden for herbs if need be, for my master says there are nowhere
better herbs for salad then here."
  "Come back for any thou hast need of," replied Hadji Morato; "for my
daughter does not speak thus because she is displeased with thee or
any Christian: she only meant that the Turks should go, not thou; or
that it was time for thee to look for thy herbs."
  With this I at once took my leave of both; and she, looking as
though her heart were breaking, retired with her father. While
pretending to look for herbs I made the round of the garden at my
ease, and studied carefully all the approaches and outlets, and the
fastenings of the house and everything that could be taken advantage
of to make our task easy. Having done so I went and gave an account of
all that had taken place to the renegade and my comrades, and looked
forward with impatience to the hour when, all fear at an end, I should
find myself in possession of the prize which fortune held out to me in
the fair and lovely Zoraida. The time passed at length, and the
appointed day we so longed for arrived; and, all following out the
arrangement and plan which, after careful consideration and many a
long discussion, we had decided upon, we succeeded as fully as we
could have wished; for on the Friday following the day upon which I
spoke to Zoraida in the garden, the renegade anchored his vessel at
nightfall almost opposite the spot where she was. The Christians who
were to row were ready and in hiding in different places round
about, all waiting for me, anxious and elated, and eager to attack the
vessel they had before their eyes; for they did not know the
renegade's plan, but expected that they were to gain their liberty
by force of arms and by killing the Moors who were on board the
vessel. As soon, then, as I and my comrades made our appearance, all
those that were in hiding seeing us came and joined us. It was now the
time when the city gates are shut, and there was no one to be seen
in all the space outside. When we were collected together we debated
whether it would be better first to go for Zoraida, or to make
prisoners of the Moorish rowers who rowed in the vessel; but while
we were still uncertain our renegade came up asking us what kept us,
as it was now the time, and all the Moors were off their guard and
most of them asleep. We told him why we hesitated, but he said it
was of more importance first to secure the vessel, which could be done
with the greatest ease and without any danger, and then we could go
for Zoraida. We all approved of what he said, and so without further
delay, guided by him we made for the vessel, and he leaping on board
first, drew his cutlass and said in Morisco, "Let no one stir from
this if he does not want it to cost him his life." By this almost
all the Christians were on board, and the Moors, who were
fainthearted, hearing their captain speak in this way, were cowed, and
without any one of them taking to his arms (and indeed they had few or
hardly any) they submitted without saying a word to be bound by the
Christians, who quickly secured them, threatening them that if they
raised any kind of outcry they would be all put to the sword. This
having been accomplished, and half of our party being left to keep
guard over them, the rest of us, again taking the renegade as our
guide, hastened towards Hadji Morato's garden, and as good luck
would have it, on trying the gate it opened as easily as if it had not
been locked; and so, quite quietly and in silence, we reached the
house without being perceived by anybody. The lovely Zoraida was
watching for us at a window, and as soon as she perceived that there
were people there, she asked in a low voice if we were "Nizarani,"
as much as to say or ask if we were Christians. I answered that we
were, and begged her to come down. As soon as she recognised me she
did not delay an instant, but without answering a word came down
immediately, opened the door and presented herself before us all, so
beautiful and so richly attired that I cannot attempt to describe her.
The moment I saw her I took her hand and kissed it, and the renegade
and my two comrades did the same; and the rest, who knew nothing of
the circumstances, did as they saw us do, for it only seemed as if
we were returning thanks to her, and recognising her as the giver of
our liberty. The renegade asked her in the Morisco language if her
father was in the house. She replied that he was and that he was
asleep.
  "Then it will be necessary to waken him and take him with us,"
said the renegade, "and everything of value in this fair mansion."
  "Nay," said she, "my father must not on any account be touched,
and there is nothing in the house except what I shall take, and that
will be quite enough to enrich and satisfy all of you; wait a little
and you shall see," and so saying she went in, telling us she would
return immediately and bidding us keep quiet making any noise.
  I asked the renegade what had passed between them, and when he
told me, I declared that nothing should be done except in accordance
with the wishes of Zoraida, who now came back with a little trunk so
full of gold crowns that she could scarcely carry it. Unfortunately
her father awoke while this was going on, and hearing a noise in the
garden, came to the window, and at once perceiving that all those
who were there were Christians, raising a prodigiously loud outcry, he
began to call out in Arabic, "Christians, Christians! thieves,
thieves!" by which cries we were all thrown into the greatest fear and
embarrassment; but the renegade seeing the danger we were in and how
important it was for him to effect his purpose before we were heard,
mounted with the utmost quickness to where Hadji Morato was, and
with him went some of our party; I, however, did not dare to leave
Zoraida, who had fallen almost fainting in my arms. To be brief, those
who had gone upstairs acted so promptly that in an instant they came
down, carrying Hadji Morato with his hands bound and a napkin tied
over his mouth, which prevented him from uttering a word, warning
him at the same time that to attempt to speak would cost him his life.
When his daughter caught sight of him she covered her eyes so as not
to see him, and her father was horror-stricken, not knowing how
willingly she had placed herself in our hands. But it was now most
essential for us to be on the move, and carefully and quickly we
regained the vessel, where those who had remained on board were
waiting for us in apprehension of some mishap having befallen us. It
was barely two hours after night set in when we were all on board
the vessel, where the cords were removed from the hands of Zoraida's
father, and the napkin from his mouth; but the renegade once more told
him not to utter a word, or they would take his life. He, when he
saw his daughter there, began to sigh piteously, and still more when
he perceived that I held her closely embraced and that she lay quiet
without resisting or complaining, or showing any reluctance;
nevertheless he remained silent lest they should carry into effect the
repeated threats the renegade had addressed to him.
  Finding herself now on board, and that we were about to give way
with the oars, Zoraida, seeing her father there, and the other Moors
bound, bade the renegade ask me to do her the favour of releasing
the Moors and setting her father at liberty, for she would rather
drown herself in the sea than suffer a father that had loved her so
dearly to be carried away captive before her eyes and on her
account. The renegade repeated this to me, and I replied that I was
very willing to do so; but he replied that it was not advisable,
because if they were left there they would at once raise the country
and stir up the city, and lead to the despatch of swift cruisers in
pursuit, and our being taken, by sea or land, without any
possibility of escape; and that all that could be done was to set them
free on the first Christian ground we reached. On this point we all
agreed; and Zoraida, to whom it was explained, together with the
reasons that prevented us from doing at once what she desired, was
satisfied likewise; and then in glad silence and with cheerful
alacrity each of our stout rowers took his oar, and commending
ourselves to God with all our hearts, we began to shape our course for
the island of Majorca, the nearest Christian land. Owing, however,
to the Tramontana rising a little, and the sea growing somewhat rough,
it was impossible for us to keep a straight course for Majorca, and we
were compelled to coast in the direction of Oran, not without great
uneasiness on our part lest we should be observed from the town of
Shershel, which lies on that coast, not more than sixty miles from
Algiers. Moreover we were afraid of meeting on that course one of
the galliots that usually come with goods from Tetuan; although each
of us for himself and all of us together felt confident that, if we
were to meet a merchant galliot, so that it were not a cruiser, not
only should we not be lost, but that we should take a vessel in
which we could more safely accomplish our voyage. As we pursued our
course Zoraida kept her head between my hands so as not to see her
father, and I felt that she was praying to Lela Marien to help us.
  We might have made about thirty miles when daybreak found us some
three musket-shots off the land, which seemed to us deserted, and
without anyone to see us. For all that, however, by hard rowing we put
out a little to sea, for it was now somewhat calmer, and having gained
about two leagues the word was given to row by batches, while we ate
something, for the vessel was well provided; but the rowers said it
was not a time to take any rest; let food be served out to those who
were not rowing, but they would not leave their oars on any account.
This was done, but now a stiff breeze began to blow, which obliged
us to leave off rowing and make sail at once and steer for Oran, as it
was impossible to make any other course. All this was done very
promptly, and under sail we ran more than eight miles an hour
without any fear, except that of coming across some vessel out on a
roving expedition. We gave the Moorish rowers some food, and the
renegade comforted them by telling them that they were not held as
captives, as we should set them free on the first opportunity.
  The same was said to Zoraida's father, who replied, "Anything
else, Christian, I might hope for or think likely from your generosity
and good behaviour, but do not think me so simple as to imagine you
will give me my liberty; for you would have never exposed yourselves
to the danger of depriving me of it only to restore it to me so
generously, especially as you know who I am and the sum you may expect
to receive on restoring it; and if you will only name that, I here
offer you all you require for myself and for my unhappy daughter
there; or else for her alone, for she is the greatest and most
precious part of my soul."
  As he said this he began to weep so bitterly that he filled us all
with compassion and forced Zoraida to look at him, and when she saw
him weeping she was so moved that she rose from my feet and ran to
throw her arms round him, and pressing her face to his, they both gave
way to such an outburst of tears that several of us were constrained
to keep them company.
  But when her father saw her in full dress and with all her jewels
about her, he said to her in his own language, "What means this, my
daughter? Last night, before this terrible misfortune in which we
are plunged befell us, I saw thee in thy everyday and indoor garments;
and now, without having had time to attire thyself, and without my
bringing thee any joyful tidings to furnish an occasion for adorning
and bedecking thyself, I see thee arrayed in the finest attire it
would be in my power to give thee when fortune was most kind to us.
Answer me this; for it causes me greater anxiety and surprise than
even this misfortune itself."
  The renegade interpreted to us what the Moor said to his daughter;
she, however, returned him no answer. But when he observed in one
corner of the vessel the little trunk in which she used to keep her
jewels, which he well knew he had left in Algiers and had not
brought to the garden, he was still more amazed, and asked her how
that trunk had come into our hands, and what there was in it. To which
the renegade, without waiting for Zoraida to reply, made answer, "Do
not trouble thyself by asking thy daughter Zoraida so many
questions, senor, for the one answer I will give thee will serve for
all; I would have thee know that she is a Christian, and that it is
she who has been the file for our chains and our deliverer from
captivity. She is here of her own free will, as glad, I imagine, to
find herself in this position as he who escapes from darkness into the
light, from death to life, and from suffering to glory."
  "Daughter, is this true, what he says?" cried the Moor.
  "It is," replied Zoraida.
  "That thou art in truth a Christian," said the old man, "and that
thou hast given thy father into the power of his enemies?"
  To which Zoraida made answer, "A Christian I am, but it is not I who
have placed thee in this position, for it never was my wish to leave
thee or do thee harm, but only to do good to myself."
  "And what good hast thou done thyself, daughter?" said he.
  "Ask thou that," said she, "of Lela Marien, for she can tell thee
better than I."
  The Moor had hardly heard these words when with marvellous quickness
he flung himself headforemost into the sea, where no doubt he would
have been drowned had not the long and full dress he wore held him
up for a little on the surface of the water. Zoraida cried aloud to us
to save him, and we all hastened to help, and seizing him by his
robe we drew him in half drowned and insensible, at which Zoraida
was in such distress that she wept over him as piteously and
bitterly as though he were already dead. We turned him upon his face
and he voided a great quantity of water, and at the end of two hours
came to himself. Meanwhile, the wind having changed we were
compelled to head for the land, and ply our oars to avoid being driven
on shore; but it was our good fortune to reach a creek that lies on
one side of a small promontory or cape, called by the Moors that of
the "Cava rumia," which in our language means "the wicked Christian
woman;" for it is a tradition among them that La Cava, through whom
Spain was lost, lies buried at that spot; "cava" in their language
meaning "wicked woman," and "rumia" "Christian;" moreover, they
count it unlucky to anchor there when necessity compels them, and they
never do so otherwise. For us, however, it was not the resting-place
of the wicked woman but a haven of safety for our relief, so much
had the sea now got up. We posted a look-out on shore, and never let
the oars out of our hands, and ate of the stores the renegade had laid
in, imploring God and Our Lady with all our hearts to help and protect
us, that we might give a happy ending to a beginning so prosperous. At
the entreaty of Zoraida orders were given to set on shore her father
and the other Moors who were still bound, for she could not endure,
nor could her tender heart bear to see her father in bonds and her
fellow-countrymen prisoners before her eyes. We promised her to do
this at the moment of departure, for as it was uninhabited we ran no
risk in releasing them at that place.
  Our prayers were not so far in vain as to be unheard by Heaven,
for after a while the wind changed in our favour, and made the sea
calm, inviting us once more to resume our voyage with a good heart.
Seeing this we unbound the Moors, and one by one put them on shore, at
which they were filled with amazement; but when we came to land
Zoraida's father, who had now completely recovered his senses, he
said:
  "Why is it, think ye, Christians, that this wicked woman is rejoiced
at your giving me my liberty? Think ye it is because of the
affection she bears me? Nay verily, it is only because of the
hindrance my presence offers to the execution of her base designs. And
think not that it is her belief that yours is better than ours that
has led her to change her religion; it is only because she knows
that immodesty is more freely practised in your country than in ours."
Then turning to Zoraida, while I and another of the Christians held
him fast by both arms, lest he should do some mad act, he said to her,
"Infamous girl, misguided maiden, whither in thy blindness and madness
art thou going in the hands of these dogs, our natural enemies? Cursed
be the hour when I begot thee! Cursed the luxury and indulgence in
which I reared thee!"
  But seeing that he was not likely soon to cease I made haste to
put him on shore, and thence he continued his maledictions and
lamentations aloud; calling on Mohammed to pray to Allah to destroy
us, to confound us, to make an end of us; and when, in consequence
of having made sail, we could no longer hear what he said we could see
what he did; how he plucked out his beard and tore his hair and lay
writhing on the ground. But once he raised his voice to such a pitch
that we were able to hear what he said. "Come back, dear daughter,
come back to shore; I forgive thee all; let those men have the
money, for it is theirs now, and come back to comfort thy sorrowing
father, who will yield up his life on this barren strand if thou
dost leave him."
  All this Zoraida heard, and heard with sorrow and tears, and all she
could say in answer was, "Allah grant that Lela Marien, who has made
me become a Christian, give thee comfort in thy sorrow, my father.
Allah knows that I could not do otherwise than I have done, and that
these Christians owe nothing to my will; for even had I wished not
to accompany them, but remain at home, it would have been impossible
for me, so eagerly did my soul urge me on to the accomplishment of
this purpose, which I feel to be as righteous as to thee, dear father,
it seems wicked."
  But neither could her father hear her nor we see him when she said
this; and so, while I consoled Zoraida, we turned our attention to our
voyage, in which a breeze from the right point so favoured us that
we made sure of finding ourselves off the coast of Spain on the morrow
by daybreak. But, as good seldom or never comes pure and unmixed,
without being attended or followed by some disturbing evil that
gives a shock to it, our fortune, or perhaps the curses which the Moor
had hurled at his daughter (for whatever kind of father they may
come from these are always to be dreaded), brought it about that
when we were now in mid-sea, and the night about three hours spent, as
we were running with all sail set and oars lashed, for the favouring
breeze saved us the trouble of using them, we saw by the light of
the moon, which shone brilliantly, a square-rigged vessel in full sail
close to us, luffing up and standing across our course, and so close
that we had to strike sail to avoid running foul of her, while they
too put the helm hard up to let us pass. They came to the side of
the ship to ask who we were, whither we were bound, and whence we
came, but as they asked this in French our renegade said, "Let no
one answer, for no doubt these are French corsairs who plunder all
comers." Acting on this warning no one answered a word, but after we
had gone a little ahead, and the vessel was now lying to leeward,
suddenly they fired two guns, and apparently both loaded with
chain-shot, for with one they cut our mast in half and brought down
both it and the sail into the sea, and the other, discharged at the
same moment, sent a ball into our vessel amidships, staving her in
completely, but without doing any further damage. We, however, finding
ourselves sinking began to shout for help and call upon those in the
ship to pick us up as we were beginning to fill. They then lay to, and
lowering a skiff or boat, as many as a dozen Frenchmen, well armed
with match-locks, and their matches burning, got into it and came
alongside; and seeing how few we were, and that our vessel was going
down, they took us in, telling us that this had come to us through our
incivility in not giving them an answer. Our renegade took the trunk
containing Zoraida's wealth and dropped it into the sea without anyone
perceiving what he did. In short we went on board with the
Frenchmen, who, after having ascertained all they wanted to know about
us, rifled us of everything we had, as if they had been our
bitterest enemies, and from Zoraida they took even the anklets she
wore on her feet; but the distress they caused her did not distress me
so much as the fear I was in that from robbing her of her rich and
precious jewels they would proceed to rob her of the most precious
jewel that she valued more than all. The desires, however, of those
people do not go beyond money, but of that their covetousness is
insatiable, and on this occasion it was carried to such a pitch that
they would have taken even the clothes we wore as captives if they had
been worth anything to them. It was the advice of some of them to
throw us all into the sea wrapped up in a sail; for their purpose
was to trade at some of the ports of Spain, giving themselves out as
Bretons, and if they brought us alive they would be punished as soon
as the robbery was discovered; but the captain (who was the one who
had plundered my beloved Zoraida) said he was satisfied with the prize
he had got, and that he would not touch at any Spanish port, but
pass the Straits of Gibraltar by night, or as best he could, and
make for La Rochelle, from which he had sailed. So they agreed by
common consent to give us the skiff belonging to their ship and all we
required for the short voyage that remained to us, and this they did
the next day on coming in sight of the Spanish coast, with which,
and the joy we felt, all our sufferings and miseries were as
completely forgotten as if they had never been endured by us, such
is the delight of recovering lost liberty.
  It may have been about mid-day when they placed us in the boat,
giving us two kegs of water and some biscuit; and the captain, moved
by I know not what compassion, as the lovely Zoraida was about to
embark, gave her some forty gold crowns, and would not permit his
men to take from her those same garments which she has on now. We
got into the boat, returning them thanks for their kindness to us, and
showing ourselves grateful rather than indignant. They stood out to
sea, steering for the straits; we, without looking to any compass save
the land we had before us, set ourselves to row with such energy
that by sunset we were so near that we might easily, we thought,
land before the night was far advanced. But as the moon did not show
that night, and the sky was clouded, and as we knew not whereabouts we
were, it did not seem to us a prudent thing to make for the shore,
as several of us advised, saying we ought to run ourselves ashore even
if it were on rocks and far from any habitation, for in this way we
should be relieved from the apprehensions we naturally felt of the
prowling vessels of the Tetuan corsairs, who leave Barbary at
nightfall and are on the Spanish coast by daybreak, where they
commonly take some prize, and then go home to sleep in their own
houses. But of the conflicting counsels the one which was adopted
was that we should approach gradually, and land where we could if
the sea were calm enough to permit us. This was done, and a little
before midnight we drew near to the foot of a huge and lofty mountain,
not so close to the sea but that it left a narrow space on which to
land conveniently. We ran our boat up on the sand, and all sprang
out and kissed the ground, and with tears of joyful satisfaction
returned thanks to God our Lord for all his incomparable goodness to
us on our voyage. We took out of the boat the provisions it contained,
and drew it up on the shore, and then climbed a long way up the
mountain, for even there we could not feel easy in our hearts, or
persuade ourselves that it was Christian soil that was now under our
feet.
  The dawn came, more slowly, I think, than we could have wished; we
completed the ascent in order to see if from the summit any habitation
or any shepherds' huts could be discovered, but strain our eyes as
we might, neither dwelling, nor human being, nor path nor road could
we perceive. However, we determined to push on farther, as it could
not but be that ere long we must see some one who could tell us
where we were. But what distressed me most was to see Zoraida going on
foot over that rough ground; for though I once carried her on my
shoulders, she was more wearied by my weariness than rested by the
rest; and so she would never again allow me to undergo the exertion,
and went on very patiently and cheerfully, while I led her by the
hand. We had gone rather less than a quarter of a league when the
sound of a little bell fell on our ears, a clear proof that there were
flocks hard by, and looking about carefully to see if any were
within view, we observed a young shepherd tranquilly and
unsuspiciously trimming a stick with his knife at the foot of a cork
tree. We called to him, and he, raising his head, sprang nimbly to his
feet, for, as we afterwards learned, the first who presented
themselves to his sight were the renegade and Zoraida, and seeing them
in Moorish dress he imagined that all the Moors of Barbary were upon
him; and plunging with marvellous swiftness into the thicket in
front of him, he began to raise a prodigious outcry, exclaiming,
"The Moors- the Moors have landed! To arms, to arms!" We were all
thrown into perplexity by these cries, not knowing what to do; but
reflecting that the shouts of the shepherd would raise the country and
that the mounted coast-guard would come at once to see what was the
matter, we agreed that the renegade must strip off his Turkish
garments and put on a captive's jacket or coat which one of our
party gave him at once, though he himself was reduced to his shirt;
and so commending ourselves to God, we followed the same road which we
saw the shepherd take, expecting every moment that the coast-guard
would be down upon us. Nor did our expectation deceive us, for two
hours had not passed when, coming out of the brushwood into the open
ground, we perceived some fifty mounted men swiftly approaching us
at a hand-gallop. As soon as we saw them we stood still, waiting for
them; but as they came close and, instead of the Moors they were in
quest of, saw a set of poor Christians, they were taken aback, and one
of them asked if it could be we who were the cause of the shepherd
having raised the call to arms. I said "Yes," and as I was about to
explain to him what had occurred, and whence we came and who we
were, one of the Christians of our party recognised the horseman who
had put the question to us, and before I could say anything more he
exclaimed:
  "Thanks be to God, sirs, for bringing us to such good quarters; for,
if I do not deceive myself, the ground we stand on is that of Velez
Malaga unless, indeed, all my years of captivity have made me unable
to recollect that you, senor, who ask who we are, are Pedro de
Bustamante, my uncle."
  The Christian captive had hardly uttered these words, when the
horseman threw himself off his horse, and ran to embrace the young
man, crying:
  "Nephew of my soul and life! I recognise thee now; and long have I
mourned thee as dead, I, and my sister, thy mother, and all thy kin
that are still alive, and whom God has been pleased to preserve that
they may enjoy the happiness of seeing thee. We knew long since that
thou wert in Algiers, and from the appearance of thy garments and
those of all this company, I conclude that ye have had a miraculous
restoration to liberty."
  "It is true," replied the young man, "and by-and-by we will tell you
all."
  As soon as the horsemen understood that we were Christian
captives, they dismounted from their horses, and each offered his to
carry us to the city of Velez Malaga, which was a league and a half
distant. Some of them went to bring the boat to the city, we having
told them where we had left it; others took us up behind them, and
Zoraida was placed on the horse of the young man's uncle. The whole
town came out to meet us, for they had by this time heard of our
arrival from one who had gone on in advance. They were not
astonished to see liberated captives or captive Moors, for people on
that coast are well used to see both one and the other; but they
were astonished at the beauty of Zoraida, which was just then
heightened, as well by the exertion of travelling as by joy at finding
herself on Christian soil, and relieved of all fear of being lost; for
this had brought such a glow upon her face, that unless my affection
for her were deceiving me, I would venture to say that there was not a
more beautiful creature in the world- at least, that I had ever seen.
 We went straight to the church to return thanks to God for the
mercies we had received, and when Zoraida entered it she said there
were faces there like Lela Marien's. We told her they were her images;
and as well as he could the renegade explained to her what they meant,
that she might adore them as if each of them were the very same Lela
Marien that had spoken to her; and she, having great intelligence
and a quick and clear instinct, understood at once all he said to
her about them. Thence they took us away and distributed us all in
different houses in the town; but as for the renegade, Zoraida, and
myself, the Christian who came with us brought us to the house of
his parents, who had a fair share of the gifts of fortune, and treated
us with as much kindness as they did their own son.
  We remained six days in Velez, at the end of which the renegade,
having informed himself of all that was requisite for him to do, set
out for the city of Granada to restore himself to the sacred bosom
of the Church through the medium of the Holy Inquisition. The other
released captives took their departures, each the way that seemed best
to him, and Zoraida and I were left alone, with nothing more than
the crowns which the courtesy of the Frenchman had bestowed upon
Zoraida, out of which I bought the beast on which she rides; and, I
for the present attending her as her father and squire and not as
her husband, we are now going to ascertain if my father is living,
or if any of my brothers has had better fortune than mine has been;
though, as Heaven has made me the companion of Zoraida, I think no
other lot could be assigned to me, however happy, that I would
rather have. The patience with which she endures the hardships that
poverty brings with it, and the eagerness she shows to become a
Christian, are such that they fill me with admiration, and bind me
to serve her all my life; though the happiness I feel in seeing myself
hers, and her mine, is disturbed and marred by not knowing whether I
shall find any corner to shelter her in my own country, or whether
time and death may not have made such changes in the fortunes and
lives of my father and brothers, that I shall hardly find anyone who
knows me, if they are not alive.
  I have no more of my story to tell you, gentlemen; whether it be
an interesting or a curious one let your better judgments decide;
all I can say is I would gladly have told it to you more briefly;
although my fear of wearying you has made me leave out more than one
circumstance.
  CHAPTER XLII
  WHICH TREATS OF WHAT FURTHER TOOK PLACE IN THE INN, AND OF SEVERAL
OTHER THINGS WORTH KNOWING

  WITH these words the captive held his peace, and Don Fernando said
to him, "In truth, captain, the manner in which you have related
this remarkable adventure has been such as befitted the novelty and
strangeness of the matter. The whole story is curious and uncommon,
and abounds with incidents that fill the hearers with wonder and
astonishment; and so great is the pleasure we have found in
listening to it that we should be glad if it were to begin again, even
though to-morrow were to find us still occupied with the same tale."
And while he said this Cardenio and the rest of them offered to be
of service to him in any way that lay in their power, and in words and
language so kindly and sincere that the captain was much gratified
by their good-will. In particular Don Fernando offered, if he would go
back with him, to get his brother the marquis to become godfather at
the baptism of Zoraida, and on his own part to provide him with the
means of making his appearance in his own country with the credit
and comfort he was entitled to. For all this the captive returned
thanks very courteously, although he would not accept any of their
generous offers.
  By this time night closed in, and as it did, there came up to the
inn a coach attended by some men on horseback, who demanded
accommodation; to which the landlady replied that there was not a
hand's breadth of the whole inn unoccupied.
  "Still, for all that," said one of those who had entered on
horseback, "room must be found for his lordship the Judge here."
  At this name the landlady was taken aback, and said, "Senor, the
fact is I have no beds; but if his lordship the Judge carries one with
him, as no doubt he does, let him come in and welcome; for my
husband and I will give up our room to accommodate his worship."
  "Very good, so be it," said the squire; but in the meantime a man
had got out of the coach whose dress indicated at a glance the
office and post he held, for the long robe with ruffled sleeves that
he wore showed that he was, as his servant said, a Judge of appeal. He
led by the hand a young girl in a travelling dress, apparently about
sixteen years of age, and of such a high-bred air, so beautiful and so
graceful, that all were filled with admiration when she made her
appearance, and but for having seen Dorothea, Luscinda, and Zoraida,
who were there in the inn, they would have fancied that a beauty
like that of this maiden's would have been hard to find. Don Quixote
was present at the entrance of the Judge with the young lady, and as
soon as he saw him he said, "Your worship may with confidence enter
and take your ease in this castle; for though the accommodation be
scanty and poor, there are no quarters so cramped or inconvenient that
they cannot make room for arms and letters; above all if arms and
letters have beauty for a guide and leader, as letters represented
by your worship have in this fair maiden, to whom not only ought
castles to throw themselves open and yield themselves up, but rocks
should rend themselves asunder and mountains divide and bow themselves
down to give her a reception. Enter, your worship, I say, into this
paradise, for here you will find stars and suns to accompany the
heaven your worship brings with you, here you will find arms in
their supreme excellence, and beauty in its highest perfection."
  The Judge was struck with amazement at the language of Don
Quixote, whom he scrutinized very carefully, no less astonished by his
figure than by his talk; and before he could find words to answer
him he had a fresh surprise, when he saw opposite to him Luscinda,
Dorothea, and Zoraida, who, having heard of the new guests and of
the beauty of the young lady, had come to see her and welcome her; Don
Fernando, Cardenio, and the curate, however, greeted him in a more
intelligible and polished style. In short, the Judge made his entrance
in a state of bewilderment, as well with what he saw as what he heard,
and the fair ladies of the inn gave the fair damsel a cordial welcome.
On the whole he could perceive that all who were there were people
of quality; but with the figure, countenance, and bearing of Don
Quixote he was at his wits' end; and all civilities having been
exchanged, and the accommodation of the inn inquired into, it was
settled, as it had been before settled, that all the women should
retire to the garret that has been already mentioned, and that the men
should remain outside as if to guard them; the Judge, therefore, was
very well pleased to allow his daughter, for such the damsel was, to
go with the ladies, which she did very willingly; and with part of the
host's narrow bed and half of what the Judge had brought with him,
they made a more comfortable arrangement for the night than they had
expected.
  The captive, whose heart had leaped within him the instant he saw
the Judge, telling him somehow that this was his brother, asked one of
the servants who accompanied him what his name was, and whether he
knew from what part of the country he came. The servant replied that
he was called the Licentiate Juan Perez de Viedma, and that he had
heard it said he came from a village in the mountains of Leon. From
this statement, and what he himself had seen, he felt convinced that
this was his brother who had adopted letters by his father's advice;
and excited and rejoiced, he called Don Fernando and Cardenio and
the curate aside, and told them how the matter stood, assuring them
that the judge was his brother. The servant had further informed him
that he was now going to the Indies with the appointment of Judge of
the Supreme Court of Mexico; and he had learned, likewise, that the
young lady was his daughter, whose mother had died in giving birth
to her, and that he was very rich in consequence of the dowry left
to him with the daughter. He asked their advice as to what means he
should adopt to make himself known, or to ascertain beforehand
whether, when he had made himself known, his brother, seeing him so
poor, would be ashamed of him, or would receive him with a warm heart.
  "Leave it to me to find out that," said the curate; "though there is
no reason for supposing, senor captain, that you will not be kindly
received, because the worth and wisdom that your brother's bearing
shows him to possess do not make it likely that he will prove
haughty or insensible, or that he will not know how to estimate the
accidents of fortune at their proper value."
  "Still," said the captain, "I would not make myself known
abruptly, but in some indirect way."
  "I have told you already," said the curate, "that I will manage it
in a way to satisfy us all."
  By this time supper was ready, and they all took their seats at
the table, except the captive, and the ladies, who supped by
themselves in their own room. In the middle of supper the curate said:
  "I had a comrade of your worship's name, Senor Judge, in
Constantinople, where I was a captive for several years, and that same
comrade was one of the stoutest soldiers and captains in the whole
Spanish infantry; but he had as large a share of misfortune as he
had of gallantry and courage."
  "And how was the captain called, senor?" asked the Judge.
  "He was called Ruy Perez de Viedma," replied the curate, "and he was
born in a village in the mountains of Leon; and he mentioned a
circumstance connected with his father and his brothers which, had
it not been told me by so truthful a man as he was, I should have
set down as one of those fables the old women tell over the fire in
winter; for he said his father had divided his property among his
three sons and had addressed words of advice to them sounder than
any of Cato's. But I can say this much, that the choice he made of
going to the wars was attended with such success, that by his
gallant conduct and courage, and without any help save his own
merit, he rose in a few years to be captain of infantry, and to see
himself on the high-road and in position to be given the command of
a corps before long; but Fortune was against him, for where he might
have expected her favour he lost it, and with it his liberty, on
that glorious day when so many recovered theirs, at the battle of
Lepanto. I lost mine at the Goletta, and after a variety of adventures
we found ourselves comrades at Constantinople. Thence he went to
Algiers, where he met with one of the most extraordinary adventures
that ever befell anyone in the world."
  Here the curate went on to relate briefly his brother's adventure
with Zoraida; to all which the Judge gave such an attentive hearing
that he never before had been so much of a hearer. The curate,
however, only went so far as to describe how the Frenchmen plundered
those who were in the boat, and the poverty and distress in which
his comrade and the fair Moor were left, of whom he said he had not
been able to learn what became of them, or whether they had reached
Spain, or been carried to France by the Frenchmen.
  The captain, standing a little to one side, was listening to all the
curate said, and watching every movement of his brother, who, as
soon as he perceived the curate had made an end of his story, gave a
deep sigh and said with his eyes full of tears, "Oh, senor, if you
only knew what news you have given me and how it comes home to me,
making me show how I feel it with these tears that spring from my eyes
in spite of all my worldly wisdom and self-restraint! That brave
captain that you speak of is my eldest brother, who, being of a bolder
and loftier mind than my other brother or myself, chose the honourable
and worthy calling of arms, which was one of the three careers our
father proposed to us, as your comrade mentioned in that fable you
thought he was telling you. I followed that of letters, in which God
and my own exertions have raised me to the position in which you see
me. My second brother is in Peru, so wealthy that with what he has
sent to my father and to me he has fully repaid the portion he took
with him, and has even furnished my father's hands with the means of
gratifying his natural generosity, while I too have been enabled to
pursue my studies in a more becoming and creditable fashion, and so to
attain my present standing. My father is still alive, though dying
with anxiety to hear of his eldest son, and he prays God unceasingly
that death may not close his eyes until he has looked upon those of
his son; but with regard to him what surprises me is, that having so
much common sense as he had, he should have neglected to give any
intelligence about himself, either in his troubles and sufferings,
or in his prosperity, for if his father or any of us had known of
his condition he need not have waited for that miracle of the reed
to obtain his ransom; but what now disquiets me is the uncertainty
whether those Frenchmen may have restored him to liberty, or
murdered him to hide the robbery. All this will make me continue my
journey, not with the satisfaction in which I began it, but in the
deepest melancholy and sadness. Oh dear brother! that I only knew
where thou art now, and I would hasten to seek thee out and deliver
thee from thy sufferings, though it were to cost me suffering
myself! Oh that I could bring news to our old father that thou art
alive, even wert thou the deepest dungeon of Barbary; for his wealth
and my brother's and mine would rescue thee thence! Oh beautiful and
generous Zoraida, that I could repay thy good goodness to a brother!
That I could be present at the new birth of thy soul, and at thy
bridal that would give us all such happiness!"
  All this and more the Judge uttered with such deep emotion at the
news he had received of his brother that all who heard him shared in
it, showing their sympathy with his sorrow. The curate, seeing,
then, how well he had succeeded in carrying out his purpose and the
captain's wishes, had no desire to keep them unhappy any longer, so he
rose from the table and going into the room where Zoraida was he
took her by the hand, Luscinda, Dorothea, and the Judge's daughter
following her. The captain was waiting to see what the curate would
do, when the latter, taking him with the other hand, advanced with
both of them to where the Judge and the other gentlemen were and said,
"Let your tears cease to flow, Senor Judge, and the wish of your heart
be gratified as fully as you could desire, for you have before you
your worthy brother and your good sister-in-law. He whom you see here
is the Captain Viedma, and this is the fair Moor who has been so good
to him. The Frenchmen I told you of have reduced them to the state of
poverty you see that you may show the generosity of your kind heart."
  The captain ran to embrace his brother, who placed both hands on his
breast so as to have a good look at him, holding him a little way
off but as soon as he had fully recognised him he clasped him in his
arms so closely, shedding such tears of heartfelt joy, that most of
those present could not but join in them. The words the brothers
exchanged, the emotion they showed can scarcely be imagined, I
fancy, much less put down in writing. They told each other in a few
words the events of their lives; they showed the true affection of
brothers in all its strength; then the judge embraced Zoraida, putting
all he possessed at her disposal; then he made his daughter embrace
her, and the fair Christian and the lovely Moor drew fresh tears
from every eye. And there was Don Quixote observing all these
strange proceedings attentively without uttering a word, and
attributing the whole to chimeras of knight-errantry. Then they agreed
that the captain and Zoraida should return with his brother to
Seville, and send news to his father of his having been delivered
and found, so as to enable him to come and be present at the
marriage and baptism of Zoraida, for it was impossible for the Judge
to put off his journey, as he was informed that in a month from that
time the fleet was to sail from Seville for New Spain, and to miss the
passage would have been a great inconvenience to him. In short,
everybody was well pleased and glad at the captive's good fortune; and
as now almost two-thirds of the night were past, they resolved to
retire to rest for the remainder of it. Don Quixote offered to mount
guard over the castle lest they should be attacked by some giant or
other malevolent scoundrel, covetous of the great treasure of beauty
the castle contained. Those who understood him returned him thanks for
this service, and they gave the Judge an account of his
extraordinary humour, with which he was not a little amused. Sancho
Panza alone was fuming at the lateness of the hour for retiring to
rest; and he of all was the one that made himself most comfortable, as
he stretched himself on the trappings of his ass, which, as will be
told farther on, cost him so dear.
  The ladies, then, having retired to their chamber, and the others
having disposed themselves with as little discomfort as they could,
Don Quixote sallied out of the inn to act as sentinel of the castle as
he had promised. It happened, however, that a little before the
approach of dawn a voice so musical and sweet reached the ears of
the ladies that it forced them all to listen attentively, but
especially Dorothea, who had been awake, and by whose side Dona
Clara de Viedma, for so the Judge's daughter was called, lay sleeping.
No one could imagine who it was that sang so sweetly, and the voice
was unaccompanied by any instrument. At one moment it seemed to them
as if the singer were in the courtyard, at another in the stable;
and as they were all attention, wondering, Cardenio came to the door
and said, "Listen, whoever is not asleep, and you will hear a
muleteer's voice that enchants as it chants."
  "We are listening to it already, senor," said Dorothea; on which
Cardenio went away; and Dorothea, giving all her attention to it, made
out the words of the song to be these:
  CHAPTER XLIII
  WHEREIN IS RELATED THE PLEASANT STORY OF THE MULETEER, TOGETHER WITH
OTHER STRANGE THINGS THAT CAME TO PASS IN THE INN

       AH ME, Love's mariner am I
         On Love's deep ocean sailing;
       I know not where the haven lies,
         I dare not hope to gain it.

       One solitary distant star
         Is all I have to guide me,
       A brighter orb than those of old
         That Palinurus lighted.

       And vaguely drifting am I borne,
         I know not where it leads me;
       I fix my gaze on it alone,
         Of all beside it heedless.

       But over-cautious prudery,
         And coyness cold and cruel,
       When most I need it, these, like clouds,
         Its longed-for light refuse me.

       Bright star, goal of my yearning eyes
         As thou above me beamest,
       When thou shalt hide thee from my sight
         I'll know that death is near me.

  The singer had got so far when it struck Dorothea that it was not
fair to let Clara miss hearing such a sweet voice, so, shaking her
from side to side, she woke her, saying:
  "Forgive me, child, for waking thee, but I do so that thou mayest
have the pleasure of hearing the best voice thou hast ever heard,
perhaps, in all thy life."
  Clara awoke quite drowsy, and not understanding at the moment what
Dorothea said, asked her what it was; she repeated what she had
said, and Clara became attentive at once; but she had hardly heard two
lines, as the singer continued, when a strange trembling seized her,
as if she were suffering from a severe attack of quartan ague, and
throwing her arms round Dorothea she said:
  "Ah, dear lady of my soul and life! why did you wake me? The
greatest kindness fortune could do me now would be to close my eyes
and ears so as neither to see or hear that unhappy musician."
  "What art thou talking about, child?" said Dorothea. "Why, they
say this singer is a muleteer!"
  "Nay, he is the lord of many places," replied Clara, "and that one
in my heart which he holds so firmly shall never be taken from him,
unless he be willing to surrender it."
  Dorothea was amazed at the ardent language of the girl, for it
seemed to be far beyond such experience of life as her tender years
gave any promise of, so she said to her:
  "You speak in such a way that I cannot understand you, Senora Clara;
explain yourself more clearly, and tell me what is this you are saying
about hearts and places and this musician whose voice has so moved
you? But do not tell me anything now; I do not want to lose the
pleasure I get from listening to the singer by giving my attention
to your transports, for I perceive he is beginning to sing a new
strain and a new air."
  "Let him, in Heaven's name," returned Clara; and not to hear him she
stopped both ears with her hands, at which Dorothea was again
surprised; but turning her attention to the song she found that it ran
in this fashion:

         Sweet Hope, my stay,
       That onward to the goal of thy intent
         Dost make thy way,
       Heedless of hindrance or impediment,
         Have thou no fear
       If at each step thou findest death is near.

         No victory,
       No joy of triumph doth the faint heart know;
         Unblest is he
       That a bold front to Fortune dares not show,
         But soul and sense
       In bondage yieldeth up to indolence.

         If Love his wares
       Do dearly sell, his right must be contest;
         What gold compares
       With that whereon his stamp he hath imprest?
         And all men know
       What costeth little that we rate but low.

         Love resolute
       Knows not the word "impossibility;"
         And though my suit
       Beset by endless obstacles I see,
         Yet no despair
       Shall hold me bound to earth while heaven is there.

  Here the voice ceased and Clara's sobs began afresh, all which
excited Dorothea's curiosity to know what could be the cause of
singing so sweet and weeping so bitter, so she again asked her what it
was she was going to say before. On this Clara, afraid that Luscinda
might overhear her, winding her arms tightly round Dorothea put her
mouth so close to her ear that she could speak without fear of being
heard by anyone else, and said:
  "This singer, dear senora, is the son of a gentleman of Aragon, lord
of two villages, who lives opposite my father's house at Madrid; and
though my father had curtains to the windows of his house in winter,
and lattice-work in summer, in some way- I know not how- this
gentleman, who was pursuing his studies, saw me, whether in church
or elsewhere, I cannot tell, and, in fact, fell in love with me, and
gave me to know it from the windows of his house, with so many signs
and tears that I was forced to believe him, and even to love him,
without knowing what it was he wanted of me. One of the signs he
used to make me was to link one hand in the other, to show me he
wished to marry me; and though I should have been glad if that could
be, being alone and motherless I knew not whom to open my mind to, and
so I left it as it was, showing him no favour, except when my
father, and his too, were from home, to raise the curtain or the
lattice a little and let him see me plainly, at which he would show
such delight that he seemed as if he were going mad. Meanwhile the
time for my father's departure arrived, which he became aware of,
but not from me, for I had never been able to tell him of it. He
fell sick, of grief I believe, and so the day we were going away I
could not see him to take farewell of him, were it only with the eyes.
But after we had been two days on the road, on entering the posada
of a village a day's journey from this, I saw him at the inn door in
the dress of a muleteer, and so well disguised, that if I did not
carry his image graven on my heart it would have been impossible for
me to recognise him. But I knew him, and I was surprised, and glad; he
watched me, unsuspected by my father, from whom he always hides
himself when he crosses my path on the road, or in the posadas where
we halt; and, as I know what he is, and reflect that for love of me he
makes this journey on foot in all this hardship, I am ready to die
of sorrow; and where he sets foot there I set my eyes. I know not with
what object he has come; or how he could have got away from his
father, who loves him beyond measure, having no other heir, and
because he deserves it, as you will perceive when you see him. And
moreover, I can tell you, all that he sings is out of his own head;
for I have heard them say he is a great scholar and poet; and what is
more, every time I see him or hear him sing I tremble all over, and am
terrified lest my father should recognise him and come to know of our
loves. I have never spoken a word to him in my life; and for all that
I love him so that I could not live without him. This, dear senora, is
all I have to tell you about the musician whose voice has delighted
you so much; and from it alone you might easily perceive he is no
muleteer, but a lord of hearts and towns, as I told you already."
  "Say no more, Dona Clara," said Dorothea at this, at the same time
kissing her a thousand times over, "say no more, I tell you, but
wait till day comes; when I trust in God to arrange this affair of
yours so that it may have the happy ending such an innocent
beginning deserves."
  "Ah, senora," said Dona Clara, "what end can be hoped for when his
father is of such lofty position, and so wealthy, that he would
think I was not fit to be even a servant to his son, much less wife?
And as to marrying without the knowledge of my father, I would not
do it for all the world. I would not ask anything more than that
this youth should go back and leave me; perhaps with not seeing him,
and the long distance we shall have to travel, the pain I suffer now
may become easier; though I daresay the remedy I propose will do me
very little good. I don't know how the devil this has come about, or
how this love I have for him got in; I such a young girl, and he
such a mere boy; for I verily believe we are both of an age, and I
am not sixteen yet; for I will be sixteen Michaelmas Day, next, my
father says."
  Dorothea could not help laughing to hear how like a child Dona Clara
spoke. "Let us go to sleep now, senora," said she, "for the little
of the night that I fancy is left to us: God will soon send us
daylight, and we will set all to rights, or it will go hard with me."
  With this they fell asleep, and deep silence reigned all through the
inn. The only persons not asleep were the landlady's daughter and
her servant Maritornes, who, knowing the weak point of Don Quixote's
humour, and that he was outside the inn mounting guard in armour and
on horseback, resolved, the pair of them, to play some trick upon him,
or at any rate to amuse themselves for a while by listening to his
nonsense. As it so happened there was not a window in the whole inn
that looked outwards except a hole in the wall of a straw-loft through
which they used to throw out the straw. At this hole the two
demi-damsels posted themselves, and observed Don Quixote on his horse,
leaning on his pike and from time to time sending forth such deep
and doleful sighs, that he seemed to pluck up his soul by the roots
with each of them; and they could hear him, too, saying in a soft,
tender, loving tone, "Oh my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, perfection of
all beauty, summit and crown of discretion, treasure house of grace,
depositary of virtue, and finally, ideal of all that is good,
honourable, and delectable in this world! What is thy grace doing now?
Art thou, perchance, mindful of thy enslaved knight who of his own
free will hath exposed himself to so great perils, and all to serve
thee? Give me tidings of her, oh luminary of the three faces!
Perhaps at this moment, envious of hers, thou art regarding her,
either as she paces to and fro some gallery of her sumptuous
palaces, or leans over some balcony, meditating how, whilst preserving
her purity and greatness, she may mitigate the tortures this
wretched heart of mine endures for her sake, what glory should
recompense my sufferings, what repose my toil, and lastly what death
my life, and what reward my services? And thou, oh sun, that art now
doubtless harnessing thy steeds in haste to rise betimes and come
forth to see my lady; when thou seest her I entreat of thee to
salute her on my behalf: but have a care, when thou shalt see her
and salute her, that thou kiss not her face; for I shall be more
jealous of thee than thou wert of that light-footed ingrate that
made thee sweat and run so on the plains of Thessaly, or on the
banks of the Peneus (for I do not exactly recollect where it was
thou didst run on that occasion) in thy jealousy and love."
  Don Quixote had got so far in his pathetic speech when the
landlady's daughter began to signal to him, saying, "Senor, come
over here, please."
  At these signals and voice Don Quixote turned his head and saw by
the light of the moon, which then was in its full splendour, that some
one was calling to him from the hole in the wall, which seemed to
him to be a window, and what is more, with a gilt grating, as rich
castles, such as he believed the inn to be, ought to have; and it
immediately suggested itself to his imagination that, as on the former
occasion, the fair damsel, the daughter of the lady of the castle,
overcome by love for him, was once more endeavouring to win his
affections; and with this idea, not to show himself discourteous, or
ungrateful, he turned Rocinante's head and approached the hole, and as
he perceived the two wenches he said:
  "I pity you, beauteous lady, that you should have directed your
thoughts of love to a quarter from whence it is impossible that such a
return can be made to you as is due to your great merit and gentle
birth, for which you must not blame this unhappy knight-errant whom
love renders incapable of submission to any other than her whom, the
first moment his eyes beheld her, he made absolute mistress of his
soul. Forgive me, noble lady, and retire to your apartment, and do
not, by any further declaration of your passion, compel me to show
myself more ungrateful; and if, of the love you bear me, you should
find that there is anything else in my power wherein I can gratify
you, provided it be not love itself, demand it of me; for I swear to
you by that sweet absent enemy of mine to grant it this instant,
though it be that you require of me a lock of Medusa's hair, which was
all snakes, or even the very beams of the sun shut up in a vial."
  "My mistress wants nothing of that sort, sir knight," said
Maritornes at this.
  "What then, discreet dame, is it that your mistress wants?"
replied Don Quixote.
  "Only one of your fair hands," said Maritornes, "to enable her to
vent over it the great passion passion which has brought her to this
loophole, so much to the risk of her honour; for if the lord her
father had heard her, the least slice he would cut off her would be
her ear."
  "I should like to see that tried," said Don Quixote; "but he had
better beware of that, if he does not want to meet the most disastrous
end that ever father in the world met for having laid hands on the
tender limbs of a love-stricken daughter."
  Maritornes felt sure that Don Quixote would present the hand she had
asked, and making up her mind what to do, she got down from the hole
and went into the stable, where she took the halter of Sancho
Panza's ass, and in all haste returned to the hole, just as Don
Quixote had planted himself standing on Rocinante's saddle in order to
reach the grated window where he supposed the lovelorn damsel to be;
and giving her his hand, he said, "Lady, take this hand, or rather
this scourge of the evil-doers of the earth; take, I say, this hand
which no other hand of woman has ever touched, not even hers who has
complete possession of my entire body. I present it to you, not that
you may kiss it, but that you may observe the contexture of the
sinews, the close network of the muscles, the breadth and capacity
of the veins, whence you may infer what must be the strength of the
arm that has such a hand."
  "That we shall see presently," said Maritornes, and making a running
knot on the halter, she passed it over his wrist and coming down
from the hole tied the other end very firmly to the bolt of the door
of the straw-loft.
  Don Quixote, feeling the roughness of the rope on his wrist,
exclaimed, "Your grace seems to be grating rather than caressing my
hand; treat it not so harshly, for it is not to blame for the
offence my resolution has given you, nor is it just to wreak all
your vengeance on so small a part; remember that one who loves so well
should not revenge herself so cruelly."
  But there was nobody now to listen to these words of Don
Quixote's, for as soon as Maritornes had tied him she and the other
made off, ready to die with laughing, leaving him fastened in such a
way that it was impossible for him to release himself.
  He was, as has been said, standing on Rocinante, with his arm passed
through the hole and his wrist tied to the bolt of the door, and in
mighty fear and dread of being left hanging by the arm if Rocinante
were to stir one side or the other; so he did not dare to make the
least movement, although from the patience and imperturbable
disposition of Rocinante, he had good reason to expect that he would
stand without budging for a whole century. Finding himself fast, then,
and that the ladies had retired, he began to fancy that all this was
done by enchantment, as on the former occasion when in that same
castle that enchanted Moor of a carrier had belaboured him; and he
cursed in his heart his own want of sense and judgment in venturing to
enter the castle again, after having come off so badly the first time;
it being a settled point with knights-errant that when they have tried
an adventure, and have not succeeded in it, it is a sign that it is
not reserved for them but for others, and that therefore they need not
try it again. Nevertheless he pulled his arm to see if he could
release himself, but it had been made so fast that all his efforts
were in vain. It is true he pulled it gently lest Rocinante should
move, but try as he might to seat himself in the saddle, he had
nothing for it but to stand upright or pull his hand off. Then it
was he wished for the sword of Amadis, against which no enchantment
whatever had any power; then he cursed his ill fortune; then he
magnified the loss the world would sustain by his absence while he
remained there enchanted, for that he believed he was beyond all
doubt; then he once more took to thinking of his beloved Dulcinea
del Toboso; then he called to his worthy squire Sancho Panza, who,
buried in sleep and stretched upon the pack-saddle of his ass, was
oblivious, at that moment, of the mother that bore him; then he called
upon the sages Lirgandeo and Alquife to come to his aid; then he
invoked his good friend Urganda to succour him; and then, at last,
morning found him in such a state of desperation and perplexity that
he was bellowing like a bull, for he had no hope that day would
bring any relief to his suffering, which he believed would last for
ever, inasmuch as he was enchanted; and of this he was convinced by
seeing that Rocinante never stirred, much or little, and he felt
persuaded that he and his horse were to remain in this state,
without eating or drinking or sleeping, until the malign influence
of the stars was overpast, or until some other more sage enchanter
should disenchant him.
  But he was very much deceived in this conclusion, for daylight had
hardly begun to appear when there came up to the inn four men on
horseback, well equipped and accoutred, with firelocks across their
saddle-bows. They called out and knocked loudly at the gate of the
inn, which was still shut; on seeing which, Don Quixote, even there
where he was, did not forget to act as sentinel, and said in a loud
and imperious tone, "Knights, or squires, or whatever ye be, ye have
no right to knock at the gates of this castle; for it is plain
enough that they who are within are either asleep, or else are not
in the habit of throwing open the fortress until the sun's rays are
spread over the whole surface of the earth. Withdraw to a distance,
and wait till it is broad daylight, and then we shall see whether it
will be proper or not to open to you."
  "What the devil fortress or castle is this," said one, "to make us
stand on such ceremony? If you are the innkeeper bid them open to
us; we are travellers who only want to feed our horses and go on,
for we are in haste."
  "Do you think, gentlemen, that I look like an innkeeper?" said Don
Quixote.
  "I don't know what you look like," replied the other; "but I know
that you are talking nonsense when you call this inn a castle."
  "A castle it is," returned Don Quixote, "nay, more, one of the
best in this whole province, and it has within it people who have
had the sceptre in the hand and the crown on the head."
  "It would be better if it were the other way," said the traveller,
"the sceptre on the head and the crown in the hand; but if so, may
be there is within some company of players, with whom it is a common
thing to have those crowns and sceptres you speak of; for in such a
small inn as this, and where such silence is kept, I do not believe
any people entitled to crowns and sceptres can have taken up their
quarters."
  "You know but little of the world," returned Don Quixote, "since you
are ignorant of what commonly occurs in knight-errantry."
  But the comrades of the spokesman, growing weary of the dialogue
with Don Quixote, renewed their knocks with great vehemence, so much
so that the host, and not only he but everybody in the inn, awoke, and
he got up to ask who knocked. It happened at this moment that one of
the horses of the four who were seeking admittance went to smell
Rocinante, who melancholy, dejected, and with drooping ears stood
motionless, supporting his sorely stretched master; and as he was,
after all, flesh, though he looked as if he were made of wood, he
could not help giving way and in return smelling the one who had come
to offer him attentions. But he had hardly moved at all when Don
Quixote lost his footing; and slipping off the saddle, he would have
come to the ground, but for being suspended by the arm, which caused
him such agony that he believed either his wrist would be cut through
or his arm torn off; and he hung so near the ground that he could just
touch it with his feet, which was all the worse for him; for, finding
how little was wanted to enable him to plant his feet firmly, he
struggled and stretched himself as much as he could to gain a footing;
just like those undergoing the torture of the strappado, when they are
fixed at "touch and no touch," who aggravate their own sufferings by
their violent efforts to stretch themselves, deceived by the hope
which makes them fancy that with a very little more they will reach
the ground.
  CHAPTER XLIV
  IN WHICH ARE CONTINUED THE UNHEARD-OF ADVENTURES OF THE INN

  SO LOUD, in fact, were the shouts of Don Quixote, that the
landlord opening the gate of the inn in all haste, came out in dismay,
and ran to see who was uttering such cries, and those who were outside
joined him. Maritornes, who had been by this time roused up by the
same outcry, suspecting what it was, ran to the loft and, without
anyone seeing her, untied the halter by which Don Quixote was
suspended, and down he came to the ground in the sight of the landlord
and the travellers, who approaching asked him what was the matter with
him that he shouted so. He without replying a word took the rope off
his wrist, and rising to his feet leaped upon Rocinante, braced his
buckler on his arm, put his lance in rest, and making a considerable
circuit of the plain came back at a half-gallop exclaiming:
  "Whoever shall say that I have been enchanted with just cause,
provided my lady the Princess Micomicona grants me permission to do
so, I give him the lie, challenge him and defy him to single combat."
  The newly arrived travellers were amazed at the words of Don
Quixote; but the landlord removed their surprise by telling them who
he was, and not to mind him as he was out of his senses. They then
asked the landlord if by any chance a youth of about fifteen years
of age had come to that inn, one dressed like a muleteer, and of
such and such an appearance, describing that of Dona Clara's lover.
The landlord replied that there were so many people in the inn he
had not noticed the person they were inquiring for; but one of them
observing the coach in which the Judge had come, said, "He is here
no doubt, for this is the coach he is following: let one of us stay at
the gate, and the rest go in to look for him; or indeed it would be as
well if one of us went round the inn, lest he should escape over the
wall of the yard." "So be it," said another; and while two of them
went in, one remained at the gate and the other made the circuit of
the inn; observing all which, the landlord was unable to conjecture
for what reason they were taking all these precautions, though he
understood they were looking for the youth whose description they
had given him.
  It was by this time broad daylight; and for that reason, as well
as in consequence of the noise Don Quixote had made, everybody was
awake and up, but particularly Dona Clara and Dorothea; for they had
been able to sleep but badly that night, the one from agitation at
having her lover so near her, the other from curiosity to see him. Don
Quixote, when he saw that not one of the four travellers took any
notice of him or replied to his challenge, was furious and ready to
die with indignation and wrath; and if he could have found in the
ordinances of chivalry that it was lawful for a knight-errant to
undertake or engage in another enterprise, when he had plighted his
word and faith not to involve himself in any until he had made an
end of the one to which he was pledged, he would have attacked the
whole of them, and would have made them return an answer in spite of
themselves. But considering that it would not become him, nor be
right, to begin any new emprise until he had established Micomicona in
her kingdom, he was constrained to hold his peace and wait quietly
to see what would be the upshot of the proceedings of those same
travellers; one of whom found the youth they were seeking lying asleep
by the side of a muleteer, without a thought of anyone coming in
search of him, much less finding him.
  The man laid hold of him by the arm, saying, "It becomes you well
indeed, Senor Don Luis, to be in the dress you wear, and well the
bed in which I find you agrees with the luxury in which your mother
reared you."
  The youth rubbed his sleepy eyes and stared for a while at him who
held him, but presently recognised him as one of his father's
servants, at which he was so taken aback that for some time he could
not find or utter a word; while the servant went on to say, "There
is nothing for it now, Senor Don Luis, but to submit quietly and
return home, unless it is your wish that my lord, your father,
should take his departure for the other world, for nothing else can be
the consequence of the grief he is in at your absence."
  "But how did my father know that I had gone this road and in this
dress?" said Don Luis.
  "It was a student to whom you confided your intentions," answered
the servant, "that disclosed them, touched with pity at the distress
he saw your father suffer on missing you; he therefore despatched four
of his servants in quest of you, and here we all are at your
service, better pleased than you can imagine that we shall return so
soon and be able to restore you to those eyes that so yearn for you."
  "That shall be as I please, or as heaven orders," returned Don Luis.
  "What can you please or heaven order," said the other, "except to
agree to go back? Anything else is impossible."
  All this conversation between the two was overheard by the
muleteer at whose side Don Luis lay, and rising, he went to report
what had taken place to Don Fernando, Cardenio, and the others, who
had by this time dressed themselves; and told them how the man had
addressed the youth as "Don," and what words had passed, and how he
wanted him to return to his father, which the youth was unwilling to
do. With this, and what they already knew of the rare voice that
heaven had bestowed upon him, they all felt very anxious to know
more particularly who he was, and even to help him if it was attempted
to employ force against him; so they hastened to where he was still
talking and arguing with his servant. Dorothea at this instant came
out of her room, followed by Dona Clara all in a tremor; and calling
Cardenio aside, she told him in a few words the story of the
musician and Dona Clara, and he at the same time told her what had
happened, how his father's servants had come in search of him; but
in telling her so, he did not speak low enough but that Dona Clara
heard what he said, at which she was so much agitated that had not
Dorothea hastened to support her she would have fallen to the
ground. Cardenio then bade Dorothea return to her room, as he would
endeavour to make the whole matter right, and they did as he
desired. All the four who had come in quest of Don Luis had now come
into the inn and surrounded him, urging him to return and console
his father at once and without a moment's delay. He replied that he
could not do so on any account until he had concluded some business in
which his life, honour, and heart were at stake. The servants
pressed him, saying that most certainly they would not return
without him, and that they would take him away whether he liked it
or not.
  "You shall not do that," replied Don Luis, "unless you take me dead;
though however you take me, it will be without life."
  By this time most of those in the inn had been attracted by the
dispute, but particularly Cardenio, Don Fernando, his companions,
the Judge, the curate, the barber, and Don Quixote; for he now
considered there was no necessity for mounting guard over the castle
any longer. Cardenio being already acquainted with the young man's
story, asked the men who wanted to take him away, what object they had
in seeking to carry off this youth against his will.
  "Our object," said one of the four, "is to save the life of his
father, who is in danger of losing it through this gentleman's
disappearance."
  Upon this Don Luis exclaimed, "There is no need to make my affairs
public here; I am free, and I will return if I please; and if not,
none of you shall compel me."
  "Reason will compel your worship," said the man, "and if it has no
power over you, it has power over us, to make us do what we came
for, and what it is our duty to do."
  "Let us hear what the whole affair is about," said the Judge at
this; but the man, who knew him as a neighbour of theirs, replied, "Do
you not know this gentleman, Senor Judge? He is the son of your
neighbour, who has run away from his father's house in a dress so
unbecoming his rank, as your worship may perceive."
  The judge on this looked at him more carefully and recognised him,
and embracing him said, "What folly is this, Senor Don Luis, or what
can have been the cause that could have induced you to come here in
this way, and in this dress, which so ill becomes your condition?"
  Tears came into the eyes of the young man, and he was unable to
utter a word in reply to the Judge, who told the four servants not
to be uneasy, for all would be satisfactorily settled; and then taking
Don Luis by the hand, he drew him aside and asked the reason of his
having come there.
  But while he was questioning him they heard a loud outcry at the
gate of the inn, the cause of which was that two of the guests who had
passed the night there, seeing everybody busy about finding out what
it was the four men wanted, had conceived the idea of going off
without paying what they owed; but the landlord, who minded his own
affairs more than other people's, caught them going out of the gate
and demanded his reckoning, abusing them for their dishonesty with
such language that he drove them to reply with their fists, and so
they began to lay on him in such a style that the poor man was
forced to cry out, and call for help. The landlady and her daughter
could see no one more free to give aid than Don Quixote, and to him
the daughter said, "Sir knight, by the virtue God has given you,
help my poor father, for two wicked men are beating him to a mummy."
  To which Don Quixote very deliberately and phlegmatically replied,
"Fair damsel, at the present moment your request is inopportune, for I
am debarred from involving myself in any adventure until I have
brought to a happy conclusion one to which my word has pledged me; but
that which I can do for you is what I will now mention: run and tell
your father to stand his ground as well as he can in this battle,
and on no account to allow himself to be vanquished, while I go and
request permission of the Princess Micomicona to enable me to
succour him in his distress; and if she grants it, rest assured I will
relieve him from it."
  "Sinner that I am," exclaimed Maritornes, who stood by; "before
you have got your permission my master will be in the other world."
  "Give me leave, senora, to obtain the permission I speak of,"
returned Don Quixote; "and if I get it, it will matter very little
if he is in the other world; for I will rescue him thence in spite
of all the same world can do; or at any rate I will give you such a
revenge over those who shall have sent him there that you will be more
than moderately satisfied;" and without saying anything more he went
and knelt before Dorothea, requesting her Highness in knightly and
errant phrase to be pleased to grant him permission to aid and succour
the castellan of that castle, who now stood in grievous jeopardy.
The princess granted it graciously, and he at once, bracing his
buckler on his arm and drawing his sword, hastened to the inn-gate,
where the two guests were still handling the landlord roughly; but
as soon as he reached the spot he stopped short and stood still,
though Maritornes and the landlady asked him why he hesitated to
help their master and husband.
  "I hesitate," said Don Quixote, "because it is not lawful for me
to draw sword against persons of squirely condition; but call my
squire Sancho to me; for this defence and vengeance are his affair and
business."
  Thus matters stood at the inn-gate, where there was a very lively
exchange of fisticuffs and punches, to the sore damage of the landlord
and to the wrath of Maritornes, the landlady, and her daughter, who
were furious when they saw the pusillanimity of Don Quixote, and the
hard treatment their master, husband and father was undergoing. But
let us leave him there; for he will surely find some one to help
him, and if not, let him suffer and hold his tongue who attempts
more than his strength allows him to do; and let us go back fifty
paces to see what Don Luis said in reply to the Judge whom we left
questioning him privately as to his reasons for coming on foot and
so meanly dressed.
  To which the youth, pressing his hand in a way that showed his heart
was troubled by some great sorrow, and shedding a flood of tears, made
answer:
  "Senor, I have no more to tell you than that from the moment when,
through heaven's will and our being near neighbours, I first saw
Dona Clara, your daughter and my lady, from that instant I made her
the mistress of my will, and if yours, my true lord and father, offers
no impediment, this very day she shall become my wife. For her I
left my father's house, and for her I assumed this disguise, to follow
her whithersoever she may go, as the arrow seeks its mark or the
sailor the pole-star. She knows nothing more of my passion than what
she may have learned from having sometimes seen from a distance that
my eyes were filled with tears. You know already, senor, the wealth
and noble birth of my parents, and that I am their sole heir; if
this be a sufficient inducement for you to venture to make me
completely happy, accept me at once as your son; for if my father,
influenced by other objects of his own, should disapprove of this
happiness I have sought for myself, time has more power to alter and
change things, than human will."
  With this the love-smitten youth was silent, while the Judge,
after hearing him, was astonished, perplexed, and surprised, as well
at the manner and intelligence with which Don Luis had confessed the
secret of his heart, as at the position in which he found himself, not
knowing what course to take in a matter so sudden and unexpected.
All the answer, therefore, he gave him was to bid him to make his mind
easy for the present, and arrange with his servants not to take him
back that day, so that there might be time to consider what was best
for all parties. Don Luis kissed his hands by force, nay, bathed
them with his tears, in a way that would have touched a heart of
marble, not to say that of the Judge, who, as a shrewd man, had
already perceived how advantageous the marriage would be to his
daughter; though, were it possible, he would have preferred that it
should be brought about with the consent of the father of Don Luis,
who he knew looked for a title for his son.
  The guests had by this time made peace with the landlord, for, by
persuasion and Don Quixote's fair words more than by threats, they had
paid him what he demanded, and the servants of Don Luis were waiting
for the end of the conversation with the Judge and their master's
decision, when the devil, who never sleeps, contrived that the barber,
from whom Don Quixote had taken Mambrino's helmet, and Sancho Panza
the trappings of his ass in exchange for those of his own, should at
this instant enter the inn; which said barber, as he led his ass to
the stable, observed Sancho Panza engaged in repairing something or
other belonging to the pack-saddle; and the moment he saw it he knew
it, and made bold to attack Sancho, exclaiming, "Ho, sir thief, I have
caught you! hand over my basin and my pack-saddle, and all my
trappings that you robbed me of."
  Sancho, finding himself so unexpectedly assailed, and hearing the
abuse poured upon him, seized the pack-saddle with one hand, and
with the other gave the barber a cuff that bathed his teeth in
blood. The barber, however, was not so ready to relinquish the prize
he had made in the pack-saddle; on the contrary, he raised such an
outcry that everyone in the inn came running to know what the noise
and quarrel meant. "Here, in the name of the king and justice!" he
cried, "this thief and highwayman wants to kill me for trying to
recover my property."
  "You lie," said Sancho, "I am no highwayman; it was in fair war my
master Don Quixote won these spoils."
  Don Quixote was standing by at the time, highly pleased to see his
squire's stoutness, both offensive and defensive, and from that time
forth he reckoned him a man of mettle, and in his heart resolved to
dub him a knight on the first opportunity that presented itself,
feeling sure that the order of chivalry would be fittingly bestowed
upon him.
  In the course of the altercation, among other things the barber
said, "Gentlemen, this pack-saddle is mine as surely as I owe God a
death, and I know it as well as if I had given birth to it, and here
is my ass in the stable who will not let me lie; only try it, and if
it does not fit him like a glove, call me a rascal; and what is
more, the same day I was robbed of this, they robbed me likewise of
a new brass basin, never yet handselled, that would fetch a crown
any day."
  At this Don Quixote could not keep himself from answering; and
interposing between the two, and separating them, he placed the
pack-saddle on the ground, to lie there in sight until the truth was
established, and said, "Your worships may perceive clearly and plainly
the error under which this worthy squire lies when he calls a basin
which was, is, and shall be the helmet of Mambrino which I won from
him in air war, and made myself master of by legitimate and lawful
possession. With the pack-saddle I do not concern myself; but I may
tell you on that head that my squire Sancho asked my permission to
strip off the caparison of this vanquished poltroon's steed, and
with it adorn his own; I allowed him, and he took it; and as to its
having been changed from a caparison into a pack-saddle, I can give no
explanation except the usual one, that such transformations will
take place in adventures of chivalry. To confirm all which, run,
Sancho my son, and fetch hither the helmet which this good fellow
calls a basin."
  "Egad, master," said Sancho, "if we have no other proof of our
case than what your worship puts forward, Mambrino's helmet is just as
much a basin as this good fellow's caparison is a pack-saddle."
  "Do as I bid thee," said Don Quixote; "it cannot be that
everything in this castle goes by enchantment."
  Sancho hastened to where the basin was, and brought it back with
him, and when Don Quixote saw it, he took hold of it and said:
  "Your worships may see with what a face this squire can assert
that this is a basin and not the helmet I told you of; and I swear
by the order of chivalry I profess, that this helmet is the
identical one I took from him, without anything added to or taken from
it."
  "There is no doubt of that," said Sancho, "for from the time my
master won it until now he has only fought one battle in it, when he
let loose those unlucky men in chains; and if had not been for this
basin-helmet he would not have come off over well that time, for there
was plenty of stone-throwing in that affair."
  CHAPTER XLV
  IN WHICH THE DOUBTFUL QUESTION OF MAMBRINO'S HELMET AND THE
PACK-SADDLE IS FINALLY SETTLED, WITH OTHER ADVENTURES THAT OCCURRED IN
TRUTH AND EARNEST

  WHAT do you think now, gentlemen," said the barber, "of what these
gentles say, when they want to make out that this is a helmet?"
  "And whoever says the contrary," said Don Quixote, "I will let him
know he lies if he is a knight, and if he is a squire that he lies
again a thousand times."
  Our own barber, who was present at all this, and understood Don
Quixote's humour so thoroughly, took it into his head to back up his
delusion and carry on the joke for the general amusement; so
addressing the other barber he said:
  "Senor barber, or whatever you are, you must know that I belong to
your profession too, and have had a licence to practise for more
than twenty years, and I know the implements of the barber craft,
every one of them, perfectly well; and I was likewise a soldier for
some time in the days of my youth, and I know also what a helmet is,
and a morion, and a headpiece with a visor, and other things
pertaining to soldiering, I meant to say to soldiers' arms; and I say-
saving better opinions and always with submission to sounder judgments
-that this piece we have now before us, which this worthy gentleman
has in his hands, not only is no barber's basin, but is as far from
being one as white is from black, and truth from falsehood; I say,
moreover, that this, although it is a helmet, is not a complete
helmet."
  "Certainly not," said Don Quixote, "for half of it is wanting,
that is to say the beaver."
  "It is quite true," said the curate, who saw the object of his
friend the barber; and Cardenio, Don Fernando and his companions
agreed with him, and even the Judge, if his thoughts had not been so
full of Don Luis's affair, would have helped to carry on the joke; but
he was so taken up with the serious matters he had on his mind that he
paid little or no attention to these facetious proceedings.
  "God bless me!" exclaimed their butt the barber at this; "is it
possible that such an honourable company can say that this is not a
basin but a helmet? Why, this is a thing that would astonish a whole
university, however wise it might be! That will do; if this basin is a
helmet, why, then the pack-saddle must be a horse's caparison, as this
gentleman has said."
  "To me it looks like a pack-saddle," said Don Quixote; "but I have
already said that with that question I do not concern myself."
  "As to whether it be pack-saddle or caparison," said the curate, "it
is only for Senor Don Quixote to say; for in these matters of chivalry
all these gentlemen and I bow to his authority."
  "By God, gentlemen," said Don Quixote, "so many strange things
have happened to me in this castle on the two occasions on which I
have sojourned in it, that I will not venture to assert anything
positively in reply to any question touching anything it contains; for
it is my belief that everything that goes on within it goes by
enchantment. The first time, an enchanted Moor that there is in it
gave me sore trouble, nor did Sancho fare well among certain followers
of his; and last night I was kept hanging by this arm for nearly two
hours, without knowing how or why I came by such a mishap. So that
now, for me to come forward to give an opinion in such a puzzling
matter, would be to risk a rash decision. As regards the assertion
that this is a basin and not a helmet I have already given an
answer; but as to the question whether this is a pack-saddle or a
caparison I will not venture to give a positive opinion, but will
leave it to your worships' better judgment. Perhaps as you are not
dubbed knights like myself, the enchantments of this place have
nothing to do with you, and your faculties are unfettered, and you can
see things in this castle as they really and truly are, and not as
they appear to me."
  "There can be no question," said Don Fernando on this, "but that
Senor Don Quixote has spoken very wisely, and that with us rests the
decision of this matter; and that we may have surer ground to go on, I
will take the votes of the gentlemen in secret, and declare the result
clearly and fully."
  To those who were in the secret of Don Quixote's humour all this
afforded great amusement; but to those who knew nothing about it, it
seemed the greatest nonsense in the world, in particular to the four
servants of Don Luis, as well as to Don Luis himself, and to three
other travellers who had by chance come to the inn, and had the
appearance of officers of the Holy Brotherhood, as indeed they were;
but the one who above all was at his wits' end, was the barber
basin, there before his very eyes, had been turned into Mambrino's
helmet, and whose pack-saddle he had no doubt whatever was about to
become a rich caparison for a horse. All laughed to see Don Fernando
going from one to another collecting the votes, and whispering to them
to give him their private opinion whether the treasure over which
there had been so much fighting was a pack-saddle or a caparison;
but after he had taken the votes of those who knew Don Quixote, he
said aloud, "The fact is, my good fellow, that I am tired collecting
such a number of opinions, for I find that there is not one of whom
I ask what I desire to know, who does not tell me that it is absurd to
say that this is the pack-saddle of an ass, and not the caparison of a
horse, nay, of a thoroughbred horse; so you must submit, for, in spite
of you and your ass, this is a caparison and no pack-saddle, and you
have stated and proved your case very badly."
  "May I never share heaven," said the poor barber, "if your
worships are not all mistaken; and may my soul appear before God as
that appears to me a pack-saddle and not a caparison; but, 'laws go,'-
I say no more; and indeed I am not drunk, for I am fasting, except
it be from sin."
  The simple talk of the barber did not afford less amusement than the
absurdities of Don Quixote, who now observed:
  "There is no more to be done now than for each to take what
belongs to him, and to whom God has given it, may St. Peter add his
blessing."
  But said one of the four servants, "Unless, indeed, this is a
deliberate joke, I cannot bring myself to believe that men so
intelligent as those present are, or seem to be, can venture to
declare and assert that this is not a basin, and that not a
pack-saddle; but as I perceive that they do assert and declare it, I
can only come to the conclusion that there is some mystery in this
persistence in what is so opposed to the evidence of experience and
truth itself; for I swear by"- and here he rapped out a round oath-
"all the people in the world will not make me believe that this is not
a barber's basin and that a jackass's pack-saddle."
  "It might easily be a she-ass's," observed the curate.
  "It is all the same," said the servant; "that is not the point;
but whether it is or is not a pack-saddle, as your worships say."
  On hearing this one of the newly arrived officers of the
Brotherhood, who had been listening to the dispute and controversy,
unable to restrain his anger and impatience, exclaimed, "It is a
pack-saddle as sure as my father is my father, and whoever has said or
will say anything else must be drunk."
  "You lie like a rascally clown," returned Don Quixote; and lifting
his pike, which he had never let out of his hand, he delivered such
a blow at his head that, had not the officer dodged it, it would
have stretched him at full length. The pike was shivered in pieces
against the ground, and the rest of the officers, seeing their comrade
assaulted, raised a shout, calling for help for the Holy
Brotherhood. The landlord, who was of the fraternity, ran at once to
fetch his staff of office and his sword, and ranged himself on the
side of his comrades; the servants of Don Luis clustered round him,
lest he should escape from them in the confusion; the barber, seeing
the house turned upside down, once more laid hold of his pack-saddle
and Sancho did the same; Don Quixote drew his sword and charged the
officers; Don Luis cried out to his servants to leave him alone and go
and help Don Quixote, and Cardenio and Don Fernando, who were
supporting him; the curate was shouting at the top of his voice, the
landlady was screaming, her daughter was wailing, Maritornes was
weeping, Dorothea was aghast, Luscinda terror-stricken, and Dona Clara
in a faint. The barber cudgelled Sancho, and Sancho pommelled the
barber; Don Luis gave one of his servants, who ventured to catch him
by the arm to keep him from escaping, a cuff that bathed his teeth
in blood; the Judge took his part; Don Fernando had got one of the
officers down and was belabouring him heartily; the landlord raised
his voice again calling for help for the Holy Brotherhood; so that the
whole inn was nothing but cries, shouts, shrieks, confusion, terror,
dismay, mishaps, sword-cuts, fisticuffs, cudgellings, kicks, and
bloodshed; and in the midst of all this chaos, complication, and
general entanglement, Don Quixote took it into his head that he had
been plunged into the thick of the discord of Agramante's camp; and,
in a voice that shook the inn like thunder, he cried out:
  "Hold all, let all sheathe their swords, let all be calm and
attend to me as they value their lives!"
  All paused at his mighty voice, and he went on to say, "Did I not
tell you, sirs, that this castle was enchanted, and that a legion or
so of devils dwelt in it? In proof whereof I call upon you to behold
with your own eyes how the discord of Agramante's camp has come
hither, and been transferred into the midst of us. See how they fight,
there for the sword, here for the horse, on that side for the eagle,
on this for the helmet; we are all fighting, and all at cross
purposes. Come then, you, Senor Judge, and you, senor curate; let
the one represent King Agramante and the other King Sobrino, and
make peace among us; for by God Almighty it is a sorry business that
so many persons of quality as we are should slay one another for
such trifling cause."
 The officers, who did not understand Don Quixote's mode of
speaking, and found themselves roughly handled by Don Fernando,
Cardenio, and their companions, were not to be appeased; the barber
was, however, for both his beard and his pack-saddle were the worse
for the struggle; Sancho like a good servant obeyed the slightest word
of his master; while the four servants of Don Luis kept quiet when
they saw how little they gained by not being so. The landlord alone
insisted upon it that they must punish the insolence of this madman,
who at every turn raised a disturbance in the inn; but at length the
uproar was stilled for the present; the pack-saddle remained a
caparison till the day of judgment, and the basin a helmet and the inn
a castle in Don Quixote's imagination.
  All having been now pacified and made friends by the persuasion of
the Judge and the curate, the servants of Don Luis began again to urge
him to return with them at once; and while he was discussing the
matter with them, the Judge took counsel with Don Fernando,
Cardenio, and the curate as to what he ought to do in the case,
telling them how it stood, and what Don Luis had said to him. It was
agreed at length that Don Fernando should tell the servants of Don
Luis who he was, and that it was his desire that Don Luis should
accompany him to Andalusia, where he would receive from the marquis
his brother the welcome his quality entitled him to; for, otherwise,
it was easy to see from the determination of Don Luis that he would
not return to his father at present, though they tore him to pieces.
On learning the rank of Don Fernando and the resolution of Don Luis
the four then settled it between themselves that three of them
should return to tell his father how matters stood, and that the other
should remain to wait upon Don Luis, and not leave him until they came
back for him, or his father's orders were known. Thus by the authority
of Agramante and the wisdom of King Sobrino all this complication of
disputes was arranged; but the enemy of concord and hater of peace,
feeling himself slighted and made a fool of, and seeing how little
he had gained after having involved them all in such an elaborate
entanglement, resolved to try his hand once more by stirring up
fresh quarrels and disturbances.
  It came about in this wise: the officers were pacified on learning
the rank of those with whom they had been engaged, and withdrew from
the contest, considering that whatever the result might be they were
likely to get the worst of the battle; but one of them, the one who
had been thrashed and kicked by Don Fernando, recollected that among
some warrants he carried for the arrest of certain delinquents, he had
one against Don Quixote, whom the Holy Brotherhood had ordered to be
arrested for setting the galley slaves free, as Sancho had, with
very good reason, apprehended. Suspecting how it was, then, he
wished to satisfy himself as to whether Don Quixote's features
corresponded; and taking a parchment out of his bosom he lit upon what
he was in search of, and setting himself to read it deliberately,
for he was not a quick reader, as he made out each word he fixed his
eyes on Don Quixote, and went on comparing the description in the
warrant with his face, and discovered that beyond all doubt he was the
person described in it. As soon as he had satisfied himself, folding
up the parchment, he took the warrant in his left hand and with his
right seized Don Quixote by the collar so tightly that he did not
allow him to breathe, and shouted aloud, "Help for the Holy
Brotherhood! and that you may see I demand it in earnest, read this
warrant which says this highwayman is to be arrested."
  The curate took the warrant and saw that what the officer said was
true, and that it agreed with Don Quixote's appearance, who, on his
part, when he found himself roughly handled by this rascally clown,
worked up to the highest pitch of wrath, and all his joints cracking
with rage, with both hands seized the officer by the throat with all
his might, so that had he not been helped by his comrades he would
have yielded up his life ere Don Quixote released his hold. The
landlord, who had perforce to support his brother officers, ran at
once to aid them. The landlady, when she saw her husband engaged in
a fresh quarrel, lifted up her voice afresh, and its note was
immediately caught up by Maritornes and her daughter, calling upon
heaven and all present for help; and Sancho, seeing what was going on,
exclaimed, "By the Lord, it is quite true what my master says about
the enchantments of this castle, for it is impossible to live an
hour in peace in it!"
  Don Fernando parted the officer and Don Quixote, and to their mutual
contentment made them relax the grip by which they held, the one the
coat collar, the other the throat of his adversary; for all this,
however, the officers did not cease to demand their prisoner and
call on them to help, and deliver him over bound into their power,
as was required for the service of the King and of the Holy
Brotherhood, on whose behalf they again demanded aid and assistance to
effect the capture of this robber and footpad of the highways.
  Don Quixote smiled when he heard these words, and said very
calmly, "Come now, base, ill-born brood; call ye it highway robbery to
give freedom to those in bondage, to release the captives, to
succour the miserable, to raise up the fallen, to relieve the needy?
Infamous beings, who by your vile grovelling intellects deserve that
heaven should not make known to you the virtue that lies in
knight-errantry, or show you the sin and ignorance in which ye lie
when ye refuse to respect the shadow, not to say the presence, of
any knight-errant! Come now; band, not of officers, but of thieves;
footpads with the licence of the Holy Brotherhood; tell me who was the
ignoramus who signed a warrant of arrest against such a knight as I
am? Who was he that did not know that knights-errant are independent
of all jurisdictions, that their law is their sword, their charter
their prowess, and their edicts their will? Who, I say again, was
the fool that knows not that there are no letters patent of nobility
that confer such privileges or exemptions as a knight-errant
acquires the day he is dubbed a knight, and devotes himself to the
arduous calling of chivalry? What knight-errant ever paid poll-tax,
duty, queen's pin-money, king's dues, toll or ferry? What tailor
ever took payment of him for making his clothes? What castellan that
received him in his castle ever made him pay his shot? What king did
not seat him at his table? What damsel was not enamoured of him and
did not yield herself up wholly to his will and pleasure? And, lastly,
what knight-errant has there been, is there, or will there ever be
in the world, not bold enough to give, single-handed, four hundred
cudgellings to four hundred officers of the Holy Brotherhood if they
come in his way?"
  CHAPTER XLVI
  OF THE END OF THE NOTABLE ADVENTURE OF THE OFFICERS OF THE HOLY
BROTHERHOOD; AND OF THE GREAT FEROCITY OF OUR WORTHY KNIGHT, DON
QUIXOTE

  WHILE Don Quixote was talking in this strain, the curate was
endeavouring to persuade the officers that he was out of his senses,
as they might perceive by his deeds and his words, and that they
need not press the matter any further, for even if they arrested him
and carried him off, they would have to release him by-and-by as a
madman; to which the holder of the warrant replied that he had nothing
to do with inquiring into Don Quixote's madness, but only to execute
his superior's orders, and that once taken they might let him go three
hundred times if they liked.
  "For all that," said the curate, "you must not take him away this
time, nor will he, it is my opinion, let himself be taken away."
  In short, the curate used such arguments, and Don Quixote did such
mad things, that the officers would have been more mad than he was
if they had not perceived his want of wits, and so they thought it
best to allow themselves to be pacified, and even to act as
peacemakers between the barber and Sancho Panza, who still continued
their altercation with much bitterness. In the end they, as officers
of justice, settled the question by arbitration in such a manner
that both sides were, if not perfectly contented, at least to some
extent satisfied; for they changed the pack-saddles, but not the
girths or head-stalls; and as to Mambrino's helmet, the curate,
under the rose and without Don Quixote's knowing it, paid eight
reals for the basin, and the barber executed a full receipt and
engagement to make no further demand then or thenceforth for evermore,
amen. These two disputes, which were the most important and gravest,
being settled, it only remained for the servants of Don Luis to
consent that three of them should return while one was left to
accompany him whither Don Fernando desired to take him; and good
luck and better fortune, having already begun to solve difficulties
and remove obstructions in favour of the lovers and warriors of the
inn, were pleased to persevere and bring everything to a happy
issue; for the servants agreed to do as Don Luis wished; which gave
Dona Clara such happiness that no one could have looked into her
face just then without seeing the joy of her heart. Zoraida, though
she did not fully comprehend all she saw, was grave or gay without
knowing why, as she watched and studied the various countenances,
but particularly her Spaniard's, whom she followed with her eyes and
clung to with her soul. The gift and compensation which the curate
gave the barber had not escaped the landlord's notice, and he demanded
Don Quixote's reckoning, together with the amount of the damage to his
wine-skins, and the loss of his wine, swearing that neither
Rocinante nor Sancho's ass should leave the inn until he had been paid
to the very last farthing. The curate settled all amicably, and Don
Fernando paid; though the Judge had also very readily offered to pay
the score; and all became so peaceful and quiet that the inn no longer
reminded one of the discord of Agramante's camp, as Don Quixote
said, but of the peace and tranquillity of the days of Octavianus: for
all which it was the universal opinion that their thanks were due to
the great zeal and eloquence of the curate, and to the unexampled
generosity of Don Fernando.
  Finding himself now clear and quit of all quarrels, his squire's
as well as his own, Don Quixote considered that it would be
advisable to continue the journey he had begun, and bring to a close
that great adventure for which he had been called and chosen; and with
this high resolve he went and knelt before Dorothea, who, however,
would not allow him to utter a word until he had risen; so to obey her
he rose, and said, "It is a common proverb, fair lady, that 'diligence
is the mother of good fortune,' and experience has often shown in
important affairs that the earnestness of the negotiator brings the
doubtful case to a successful termination; but in nothing does this
truth show itself more plainly than in war, where quickness and
activity forestall the devices of the enemy, and win the victory
before the foe has time to defend himself. All this I say, exalted and
esteemed lady, because it seems to me that for us to remain any longer
in this castle now is useless, and may be injurious to us in a way
that we shall find out some day; for who knows but that your enemy the
giant may have learned by means of secret and diligent spies that I am
going to destroy him, and if the opportunity be given him he may seize
it to fortify himself in some impregnable castle or stronghold,
against which all my efforts and the might of my indefatigable arm may
avail but little? Therefore, lady, let us, as I say, forestall his
schemes by our activity, and let us depart at once in quest of fair
fortune; for your highness is only kept from enjoying it as fully as
you could desire by my delay in encountering your adversary."
  Don Quixote held his peace and said no more, calmly awaiting the
reply of the beauteous princess, who, with commanding dignity and in a
style adapted to Don Quixote's own, replied to him in these words,
"I give you thanks, sir knight, for the eagerness you, like a good
knight to whom it is a natural obligation to succour the orphan and
the needy, display to afford me aid in my sore trouble; and heaven
grant that your wishes and mine may be realised, so that you may see
that there are women in this world capable of gratitude; as to my
departure, let it be forthwith, for I have no will but yours;
dispose of me entirely in accordance with your good pleasure; for
she who has once entrusted to you the defence of her person, and
placed in your hands the recovery of her dominions, must not think
of offering opposition to that which your wisdom may ordain."
  "On, then, in God's name," said Don Quixote; "for, when a lady
humbles herself to me, I will not lose the opportunity of raising
her up and placing her on the throne of her ancestors. Let us depart
at once, for the common saying that in delay there is danger, lends
spurs to my eagerness to take the road; and as neither heaven has
created nor hell seen any that can daunt or intimidate me, saddle
Rocinante, Sancho, and get ready thy ass and the queen's palfrey,
and let us take leave of the castellan and these gentlemen, and go
hence this very instant."
  Sancho, who was standing by all the time, said, shaking his head,
"Ah! master, master, there is more mischief in the village than one
hears of, begging all good bodies' pardon."
  "What mischief can there be in any village, or in all the cities
of the world, you booby, that can hurt my reputation?" said Don
Quixote.
  "If your worship is angry," replied Sancho, "I will hold my tongue
and leave unsaid what as a good squire I am bound to say, and what a
good servant should tell his master."
  "Say what thou wilt," returned Don Quixote, "provided thy words be
not meant to work upon my fears; for thou, if thou fearest, art
behaving like thyself; but I like myself, in not fearing."
  "It is nothing of the sort, as I am a sinner before God," said
Sancho, "but that I take it to be sure and certain that this lady, who
calls herself queen of the great kingdom of Micomicon, is no more so
than my mother; for, if she was what she says, she would not go
rubbing noses with one that is here every instant and behind every
door."
  Dorothea turned red at Sancho's words, for the truth was that her
husband Don Fernando had now and then, when the others were not
looking, gathered from her lips some of the reward his love had
earned, and Sancho seeing this had considered that such freedom was
more like a courtesan than a queen of a great kingdom; she, however,
being unable or not caring to answer him, allowed him to proceed,
and he continued, "This I say, senor, because, if after we have
travelled roads and highways, and passed bad nights and worse days,
one who is now enjoying himself in this inn is to reap the fruit of
our labours, there is no need for me to be in a hurry to saddle
Rocinante, put the pad on the ass, or get ready the palfrey; for it
will be better for us to stay quiet, and let every jade mind her
spinning, and let us go to dinner."
  Good God, what was the indignation of Don Quixote when he heard
the audacious words of his squire! So great was it, that in a voice
inarticulate with rage, with a stammering tongue, and eyes that
flashed living fire, he exclaimed, "Rascally clown, boorish, insolent,
and ignorant, ill-spoken, foul-mouthed, impudent backbiter and
slanderer! Hast thou dared to utter such words in my presence and in
that of these illustrious ladies? Hast thou dared to harbour such
gross and shameless thoughts in thy muddled imagination? Begone from
my presence, thou born monster, storehouse of lies, hoard of untruths,
garner of knaveries, inventor of scandals, publisher of absurdities,
enemy of the respect due to royal personages! Begone, show thyself
no more before me under pain of my wrath;" and so saying he knitted
his brows, puffed out his cheeks, gazed around him, and stamped on the
ground violently with his right foot, showing in every way the rage
that was pent up in his heart; and at his words and furious gestures
Sancho was so scared and terrified that he would have been glad if the
earth had opened that instant and swallowed him, and his only
thought was to turn round and make his escape from the angry
presence of his master.
  But the ready-witted Dorothea, who by this time so well understood
Don Quixote's humour, said, to mollify his wrath, "Be not irritated at
the absurdities your good squire has uttered, Sir Knight of the Rueful
Countenance, for perhaps he did not utter them without cause, and from
his good sense and Christian conscience it is not likely that he would
bear false witness against anyone. We may therefore believe, without
any hesitation, that since, as you say, sir knight, everything in this
castle goes and is brought about by means of enchantment, Sancho, I
say, may possibly have seen, through this diabolical medium, what he
says he saw so much to the detriment of my modesty."
  "I swear by God Omnipotent," exclaimed Don Quixote at this, "your
highness has hit the point; and that some vile illusion must have come
before this sinner of a Sancho, that made him see what it would have
been impossible to see by any other means than enchantments; for I
know well enough, from the poor fellow's goodness and harmlessness,
that he is incapable of bearing false witness against anybody."
  "True, no doubt," said Don Fernando, "for which reason, Senor Don
Quixote, you ought to forgive him and restore him to the bosom of your
favour, sicut erat in principio, before illusions of this sort had
taken away his senses."
  Don Quixote said he was ready to pardon him, and the curate went for
Sancho, who came in very humbly, and falling on his knees begged for
the hand of his master, who having presented it to him and allowed him
to kiss it, gave him his blessing and said, "Now, Sancho my son,
thou wilt be convinced of the truth of what I have many a time told
thee, that everything in this castle is done by means of enchantment."
  "So it is, I believe," said Sancho, "except the affair of the
blanket, which came to pass in reality by ordinary means."
  "Believe it not," said Don Quixote, "for had it been so, I would
have avenged thee that instant, or even now; but neither then nor
now could I, nor have I seen anyone upon whom to avenge thy wrong."
  They were all eager to know what the affair of the blanket was,
and the landlord gave them a minute account of Sancho's flights, at
which they laughed not a little, and at which Sancho would have been
no less out of countenance had not his master once more assured him it
was all enchantment. For all that his simplicity never reached so high
a pitch that he could persuade himself it was not the plain and simple
truth, without any deception whatever about it, that he had been
blanketed by beings of flesh and blood, and not by visionary and
imaginary phantoms, as his master believed and protested.
  The illustrious company had now been two days in the inn; and as
it seemed to them time to depart, they devised a plan so that, without
giving Dorothea and Don Fernando the trouble of going back with Don
Quixote to his village under pretence of restoring Queen Micomicona,
the curate and the barber might carry him away with them as they
proposed, and the curate be able to take his madness in hand at
home; and in pursuance of their plan they arranged with the owner of
an oxcart who happened to be passing that way to carry him after
this fashion. They constructed a kind of cage with wooden bars,
large enough to hold Don Quixote comfortably; and then Don Fernando
and his companions, the servants of Don Luis, and the officers of
the Brotherhood, together with the landlord, by the directions and
advice of the curate, covered their faces and disguised themselves,
some in one way, some in another, so as to appear to Don Quixote quite
different from the persons he had seen in the castle. This done, in
profound silence they entered the room where he was asleep, taking his
his rest after the past frays, and advancing to where he was
sleeping tranquilly, not dreaming of anything of the kind happening,
they seized him firmly and bound him fast hand and foot, so that, when
he awoke startled, he was unable to move, and could only marvel and
wonder at the strange figures he saw before him; upon which he at once
gave way to the idea which his crazed fancy invariably conjured up
before him, and took it into his head that all these shapes were
phantoms of the enchanted castle, and that he himself was
unquestionably enchanted as he could neither move nor help himself;
precisely what the curate, the concoctor of the scheme, expected would
happen. Of all that were there Sancho was the only one who was at once
in his senses and in his own proper character, and he, though he was
within very little of sharing his master's infirmity, did not fail
to perceive who all these disguised figures were; but he did not
dare to open his lips until he saw what came of this assault and
capture of his master; nor did the latter utter a word, waiting to the
upshot of his mishap; which was that bringing in the cage, they shut
him up in it and nailed the bars so firmly that they could not be
easily burst open. They then took him on their shoulders, and as
they passed out of the room an awful voice- as much so as the
barber, not he of the pack-saddle but the other, was able to make
it- was heard to say, "O Knight of the Rueful Countenance, let not
this captivity in which thou art placed afflict thee, for this must
needs be, for the more speedy accomplishment of the adventure in which
thy great heart has engaged thee; the which shall be accomplished when
the raging Manchegan lion and the white Tobosan dove shall be linked
together, having first humbled their haughty necks to the gentle
yoke of matrimony. And from this marvellous union shall come forth
to the light of the world brave whelps that shall rival the ravening
claws of their valiant father; and this shall come to pass ere the
pursuer of the flying nymph shall in his swift natural course have
twice visited the starry signs. And thou, O most noble and obedient
squire that ever bore sword at side, beard on face, or nose to smell
with, be not dismayed or grieved to see the flower of
knight-errantry carried away thus before thy very eyes; for soon, if
it so please the Framer of the universe, thou shalt see thyself
exalted to such a height that thou shalt not know thyself, and the
promises which thy good master has made thee shall not prove false;
and I assure thee, on the authority of the sage Mentironiana, that thy
wages shall be paid thee, as thou shalt see in due season. Follow then
the footsteps of the valiant enchanted knight, for it is expedient
that thou shouldst go to the destination assigned to both of you;
and as it is not permitted to me to say more, God be with thee; for
I return to that place I wot of;" and as he brought the prophecy to
a close he raised his voice to a high pitch, and then lowered it to
such a soft tone, that even those who knew it was all a joke were
almost inclined to take what they heard seriously.
  Don Quixote was comforted by the prophecy he heard, for he at once
comprehended its meaning perfectly, and perceived it was promised to
him that he should see himself united in holy and lawful matrimony
with his beloved Dulcinea del Toboso, from whose blessed womb should
proceed the whelps, his sons, to the eternal glory of La Mancha; and
being thoroughly and firmly persuaded of this, he lifted up his voice,
and with a deep sigh exclaimed, "Oh thou, whoever thou art, who hast
foretold me so much good, I implore of thee that on my part thou
entreat that sage enchanter who takes charge of my interests, that
he leave me not to perish in this captivity in which they are now
carrying me away, ere I see fulfilled promises so joyful and
incomparable as those which have been now made me; for, let this but
come to pass, and I shall glory in the pains of my prison, find
comfort in these chains wherewith they bind me, and regard this bed
whereon they stretch me, not as a hard battle-field, but as a soft and
happy nuptial couch; and touching the consolation of Sancho Panza,
my squire, I rely upon his goodness and rectitude that he will not
desert me in good or evil fortune; for if, by his ill luck or mine, it
may not happen to be in my power to give him the island I have
promised, or any equivalent for it, at least his wages shall not be
lost; for in my will, which is already made, I have declared the sum
that shall be paid to him, measured, not by his many faithful
services, but by the means at my disposal."
  Sancho bowed his head very respectfully and kissed both his hands,
for, being tied together, he could not kiss one; and then the
apparitions lifted the cage upon their shoulders and fixed it upon the
ox-cart.
  CHAPTER XLVII
  OF THE STRANGE MANNER IN WHICH DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA WAS
CARRIED AWAY ENCHANTED, TOGETHER WITH OTHER REMARKABLE INCIDENTS

  WHEN Don Quixote saw himself caged and hoisted on the cart in this
way, he said, "Many grave histories of knights-errant have I read; but
never yet have I read, seen, or heard of their carrying off
enchanted knights-errant in this fashion, or at the slow pace that
these lazy, sluggish animals promise; for they always take them away
through the air with marvellous swiftness, enveloped in a dark thick
cloud, or on a chariot of fire, or it may be on some hippogriff or
other beast of the kind; but to carry me off like this on an
ox-cart! By God, it puzzles me! But perhaps the chivalry and
enchantments of our day take a different course from that of those
in days gone by; and it may be, too, that as I am a new knight in
the world, and the first to revive the already forgotten calling of
knight-adventurers, they may have newly invented other kinds of
enchantments and other modes of carrying off the enchanted. What
thinkest thou of the matter, Sancho my son?"
  "I don't know what to think," answered Sancho, "not being as well
read as your worship in errant writings; but for all that I venture to
say and swear that these apparitions that are about us are not quite
catholic."
  "Catholic!" said Don Quixote. "Father of me! how can they be
Catholic when they are all devils that have taken fantastic shapes
to come and do this, and bring me to this condition? And if thou
wouldst prove it, touch them, and feel them, and thou wilt find they
have only bodies of air, and no consistency except in appearance."
  "By God, master," returned Sancho, "I have touched them already; and
that devil, that goes about there so busily, has firm flesh, and
another property very different from what I have heard say devils
have, for by all accounts they all smell of brimstone and other bad
smells; but this one smells of amber half a league off." Sancho was
here speaking of Don Fernando, who, like a gentleman of his rank,
was very likely perfumed as Sancho said.
  "Marvel not at that, Sancho my friend," said Don Quixote; "for let
me tell thee devils are crafty; and even if they do carry odours about
with them, they themselves have no smell, because they are spirits;
or, if they have any smell, they cannot smell of anything sweet, but
of something foul and fetid; and the reason is that as they carry hell
with them wherever they go, and can get no ease whatever from their
torments, and as a sweet smell is a thing that gives pleasure and
enjoyment, it is impossible that they can smell sweet; if, then,
this devil thou speakest of seems to thee to smell of amber, either
thou art deceiving thyself, or he wants to deceive thee by making thee
fancy he is not a devil."
  Such was the conversation that passed between master and man; and
Don Fernando and Cardenio, apprehensive of Sancho's making a
complete discovery of their scheme, towards which he had already
gone some way, resolved to hasten their departure, and calling the
landlord aside, they directed him to saddle Rocinante and put the
pack-saddle on Sancho's ass, which he did with great alacrity. In
the meantime the curate had made an arrangement with the officers that
they should bear them company as far as his village, he paying them so
much a day. Cardenio hung the buckler on one side of the bow of
Rocinante's saddle and the basin on the other, and by signs
commanded Sancho to mount his ass and take Rocinante's bridle, and
at each side of the cart he placed two officers with their muskets;
but before the cart was put in motion, out came the landlady and her
daughter and Maritornes to bid Don Quixote farewell, pretending to
weep with grief at his misfortune; and to them Don Quixote said:
  "Weep not, good ladies, for all these mishaps are the lot of those
who follow the profession I profess; and if these reverses did not
befall me I should not esteem myself a famous knight-errant; for
such things never happen to knights of little renown and fame, because
nobody in the world thinks about them; to valiant knights they do, for
these are envied for their virtue and valour by many princes and other
knights who compass the destruction of the worthy by base means.
Nevertheless, virtue is of herself so mighty, that, in spite of all
the magic that Zoroaster its first inventor knew, she will come
victorious out of every trial, and shed her light upon the earth as
the sun does upon the heavens. Forgive me, fair ladies, if, through
inadvertence, I have in aught offended you; for intentionally and
wittingly I have never done so to any; and pray to God that he deliver
me from this captivity to which some malevolent enchanter has
consigned me; and should I find myself released therefrom, the favours
that ye have bestowed upon me in this castle shall be held in memory
by me, that I may acknowledge, recognise, and requite them as they
deserve."
  While this was passing between the ladies of the castle and Don
Quixote, the curate and the barber bade farewell to Don Fernando and
his companions, to the captain, his brother, and the ladies, now all
made happy, and in particular to Dorothea and Luscinda. They all
embraced one another, and promised to let each other know how things
went with them, and Don Fernando directed the curate where to write to
him, to tell him what became of Don Quixote, assuring him that there
was nothing that could give him more pleasure than to hear of it,
and that he too, on his part, would send him word of everything he
thought he would like to know, about his marriage, Zoraida's
baptism, Don Luis's affair, and Luscinda's return to her home. The
curate promised to comply with his request carefully, and they
embraced once more, and renewed their promises.
  The landlord approached the curate and handed him some papers,
saying he had discovered them in the lining of the valise in which the
novel of "The Ill-advised Curiosity" had been found, and that he might
take them all away with him as their owner had not since returned;
for, as he could not read, he did not want them himself. The curate
thanked him, and opening them he saw at the beginning of the
manuscript the words, "Novel of Rinconete and Cortadillo," by which he
perceived that it was a novel, and as that of "The Ill-advised
Curiosity" had been good he concluded this would be so too, as they
were both probably by the same author; so he kept it, intending to
read it when he had an opportunity. He then mounted and his friend the
barber did the same, both masked, so as not to be recognised by Don
Quixote, and set out following in the rear of the cart. The order of
march was this: first went the cart with the owner leading it; at each
side of it marched the officers of the Brotherhood, as has been
said, with their muskets; then followed Sancho Panza on his ass,
leading Rocinante by the bridle; and behind all came the curate and
the barber on their mighty mules, with faces covered, as aforesaid,
and a grave and serious air, measuring their pace to suit the slow
steps of the oxen. Don Quixote was seated in the cage, with his
hands tied and his feet stretched out, leaning against the bars as
silent and as patient as if he were a stone statue and not a man of
flesh. Thus slowly and silently they made, it might be, two leagues,
until they reached a valley which the carter thought a convenient
place for resting and feeding his oxen, and he said so to the
curate, but the barber was of opinion that they ought to push on a
little farther, as at the other side of a hill which appeared close by
he knew there was a valley that had more grass and much better than
the one where they proposed to halt; and his advice was taken and they
continued their journey.
  Just at that moment the curate, looking back, saw coming on behind
them six or seven mounted men, well found and equipped, who soon
overtook them, for they were travelling, not at the sluggish,
deliberate pace of oxen, but like men who rode canons' mules, and in
haste to take their noontide rest as soon as possible at the inn which
was in sight not a league off. The quick travellers came up with the
slow, and courteous salutations were exchanged; and one of the new
comers, who was, in fact, a canon of Toledo and master of the others
who accompanied him, observing the regular order of the procession,
the cart, the officers, Sancho, Rocinante, the curate and the
barber, and above all Don Quixote caged and confined, could not help
asking what was the meaning of carrying the man in that fashion;
though, from the badges of the officers, he already concluded that
he must be some desperate highwayman or other malefactor whose
punishment fell within the jurisdiction of the Holy Brotherhood. One
of the officers to whom he had put the question, replied, "Let the
gentleman himself tell you the meaning of his going this way, senor,
for we do not know."
  Don Quixote overheard the conversation and said, "Haply,
gentlemen, you are versed and learned in matters of errant chivalry?
Because if you are I will tell you my misfortunes; if not, there is no
good in my giving myself the trouble of relating them;" but here the
curate and the barber, seeing that the travellers were engaged in
conversation with Don Quixote, came forward, in order to answer in
such a way as to save their stratagem from being discovered.
  The canon, replying to Don Quixote, said, "In truth, brother, I know
more about books of chivalry than I do about Villalpando's elements of
logic; so if that be all, you may safely tell me what you please."
  "In God's name, then, senor," replied Don Quixote; "if that be so, I
would have you know that I am held enchanted in this cage by the
envy and fraud of wicked enchanters; for virtue is more persecuted
by the wicked than loved by the good. I am a knight-errant, and not
one of those whose names Fame has never thought of immortalising in
her record, but of those who, in defiance and in spite of envy itself,
and all the magicians that Persia, or Brahmans that India, or
Gymnosophists that Ethiopia ever produced, will place their names in
the temple of immortality, to serve as examples and patterns for
ages to come, whereby knights-errant may see the footsteps in which
they must tread if they would attain the summit and crowning point
of honour in arms."
  "What Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha says," observed the curate, "is
the truth; for he goes enchanted in this cart, not from any fault or
sins of his, but because of the malevolence of those to whom virtue is
odious and valour hateful. This, senor, is the Knight of the Rueful
Countenance, if you have ever heard him named, whose valiant
achievements and mighty deeds shall be written on lasting brass and
imperishable marble, notwithstanding all the efforts of envy to
obscure them and malice to hide them."
  When the canon heard both the prisoner and the man who was at
liberty talk in such a strain he was ready to cross himself in his
astonishment, and could not make out what had befallen him; and all
his attendants were in the same state of amazement.
  At this point Sancho Panza, who had drawn near to hear the
conversation, said, in order to make everything plain, "Well, sirs,
you may like or dislike what I am going to say, but the fact of the
matter is, my master, Don Quixote, is just as much enchanted as my
mother. He is in his full senses, he eats and he drinks, and he has
his calls like other men and as he had yesterday, before they caged
him. And if that's the case, what do they mean by wanting me to
believe that he is enchanted? For I have heard many a one say that
enchanted people neither eat, nor sleep, nor talk; and my master, if
you don't stop him, will talk more than thirty lawyers." Then
turning to the curate he exclaimed, "Ah, senor curate, senor curate!
do you think I don't know you? Do you think I don't guess and see
the drift of these new enchantments? Well then, I can tell you I
know you, for all your face is covered, and I can tell you I am up
to you, however you may hide your tricks. After all, where envy reigns
virtue cannot live, and where there is niggardliness there can be no
liberality. Ill betide the devil! if it had not been for your
worship my master would be married to the Princess Micomicona this
minute, and I should be a count at least; for no less was to be
expected, as well from the goodness of my master, him of the Rueful
Countenance, as from the greatness of my services. But I see now how
true it is what they say in these parts, that the wheel of fortune
turns faster than a mill-wheel, and that those who were up yesterday
are down to-day. I am sorry for my wife and children, for when they
might fairly and reasonably expect to see their father return to
them a governor or viceroy of some island or kingdom, they will see
him come back a horse-boy. I have said all this, senor curate, only to
urge your paternity to lay to your conscience your ill-treatment of my
master; and have a care that God does not call you to account in
another life for making a prisoner of him in this way, and charge
against you all the succours and good deeds that my lord Don Quixote
leaves undone while he is shut up.
  "Trim those lamps there!" exclaimed the barber at this; "so you
are of the same fraternity as your master, too, Sancho? By God, I
begin to see that you will have to keep him company in the cage, and
be enchanted like him for having caught some of his humour and
chivalry. It was an evil hour when you let yourself be got with
child by his promises, and that island you long so much for found
its way into your head."
  "I am not with child by anyone," returned Sancho, "nor am I a man to
let myself be got with child, if it was by the King himself. Though
I am poor I am an old Christian, and I owe nothing to nobody, and if I
long for an island, other people long for worse. Each of us is the son
of his own works; and being a man I may come to be pope, not to say
governor of an island, especially as my master may win so many that he
will not know whom to give them to. Mind how you talk, master
barber; for shaving is not everything, and there is some difference
between Peter and Peter. I say this because we all know one another,
and it will not do to throw false dice with me; and as to the
enchantment of my master, God knows the truth; leave it as it is; it
only makes it worse to stir it."
  The barber did not care to answer Sancho lest by his plain
speaking he should disclose what the curate and he himself were trying
so hard to conceal; and under the same apprehension the curate had
asked the canon to ride on a little in advance, so that he might
tell him the mystery of this man in the cage, and other things that
would amuse him. The canon agreed, and going on ahead with his
servants, listened with attention to the account of the character,
life, madness, and ways of Don Quixote, given him by the curate, who
described to him briefly the beginning and origin of his craze, and
told him the whole story of his adventures up to his being confined in
the cage, together with the plan they had of taking him home to try if
by any means they could discover a cure for his madness. The canon and
his servants were surprised anew when they heard Don Quixote's strange
story, and when it was finished he said, "To tell the truth, senor
curate, I for my part consider what they call books of chivalry to
be mischievous to the State; and though, led by idle and false
taste, I have read the beginnings of almost all that have been
printed, I never could manage to read any one of them from beginning
to end; for it seems to me they are all more or less the same thing;
and one has nothing more in it than another; this no more than that.
And in my opinion this sort of writing and composition is of the
same species as the fables they call the Milesian, nonsensical tales
that aim solely at giving amusement and not instruction, exactly the
opposite of the apologue fables which amuse and instruct at the same
time. And though it may be the chief object of such books to amuse,
I do not know how they can succeed, when they are so full of such
monstrous nonsense. For the enjoyment the mind feels must come from
the beauty and harmony which it perceives or contemplates in the
things that the eye or the imagination brings before it; and nothing
that has any ugliness or disproportion about it can give any pleasure.
What beauty, then, or what proportion of the parts to the whole, or of
the whole to the parts, can there be in a book or fable where a lad of
sixteen cuts down a giant as tall as a tower and makes two halves of
him as if he was an almond cake? And when they want to give us a
picture of a battle, after having told us that there are a million
of combatants on the side of the enemy, let the hero of the book be
opposed to them, and we have perforce to believe, whether we like it
or not, that the said knight wins the victory by the single might of
his strong arm. And then, what shall we say of the facility with which
a born queen or empress will give herself over into the arms of some
unknown wandering knight? What mind, that is not wholly barbarous
and uncultured, can find pleasure in reading of how a great tower full
of knights sails away across the sea like a ship with a fair wind, and
will be to-night in Lombardy and to-morrow morning in the land of
Prester John of the Indies, or some other that Ptolemy never described
nor Marco Polo saw? And if, in answer to this, I am told that the
authors of books of the kind write them as fiction, and therefore
are not bound to regard niceties of truth, I would reply that
fiction is all the better the more it looks like truth, and gives
the more pleasure the more probability and possibility there is
about it. Plots in fiction should be wedded to the understanding of
the reader, and be constructed in such a way that, reconciling
impossibilities, smoothing over difficulties, keeping the mind on
the alert, they may surprise, interest, divert, and entertain, so that
wonder and delight joined may keep pace one with the other; all
which he will fail to effect who shuns verisimilitude and truth to
nature, wherein lies the perfection of writing. I have never yet
seen any book of chivalry that puts together a connected plot complete
in all its numbers, so that the middle agrees with the beginning,
and the end with the beginning and middle; on the contrary, they
construct them with such a multitude of members that it seems as
though they meant to produce a chimera or monster rather than a
well-proportioned figure. And besides all this they are harsh in their
style, incredible in their achievements, licentious in their amours,
uncouth in their courtly speeches, prolix in their battles, silly in
their arguments, absurd in their travels, and, in short, wanting in
everything like intelligent art; for which reason they deserve to be
banished from the Christian commonwealth as a worthless breed."
  The curate listened to him attentively and felt that he was a man of
sound understanding, and that there was good reason in what he said;
so he told him that, being of the same opinion himself, and bearing
a grudge to books of chivalry, he had burned all Don Quixote's,
which were many; and gave him an account of the scrutiny he had made
of them, and of those he had condemned to the flames and those he
had spared, with which the canon was not a little amused, adding
that though he had said so much in condemnation of these books,
still he found one good thing in them, and that was the opportunity
they afforded to a gifted intellect for displaying itself; for they
presented a wide and spacious field over which the pen might range
freely, describing shipwrecks, tempests, combats, battles,
portraying a valiant captain with all the qualifications requisite
to make one, showing him sagacious in foreseeing the wiles of the
enemy, eloquent in speech to encourage or restrain his soldiers,
ripe in counsel, rapid in resolve, as bold in biding his time as in
pressing the attack; now picturing some sad tragic incident, now
some joyful and unexpected event; here a beauteous lady, virtuous,
wise, and modest; there a Christian knight, brave and gentle; here a
lawless, barbarous braggart; there a courteous prince, gallant and
gracious; setting forth the devotion and loyalty of vassals, the
greatness and generosity of nobles. "Or again," said he, "the author
may show himself to be an astronomer, or a skilled cosmographer, or
musician, or one versed in affairs of state, and sometimes he will
have a chance of coming forward as a magician if he likes. He can
set forth the craftiness of Ulysses, the piety of AEneas, the valour
of Achilles, the misfortunes of Hector, the treachery of Sinon, the
friendship of Euryalus, the generosity of Alexander, the boldness of
Caesar, the clemency and truth of Trajan, the fidelity of Zopyrus, the
wisdom of Cato, and in short all the faculties that serve to make an
illustrious man perfect, now uniting them in one individual, again
distributing them among many; and if this be done with charm of
style and ingenious invention, aiming at the truth as much as
possible, he will assuredly weave a web of bright and varied threads
that, when finished, will display such perfection and beauty that it
will attain the worthiest object any writing can seek, which, as I
said before, is to give instruction and pleasure combined; for the
unrestricted range of these books enables the author to show his
powers, epic, lyric, tragic, or comic, and all the moods the sweet and
winning arts of poesy and oratory are capable of; for the epic may
be written in prose just as well as in verse."
  CHAPTER XLVIII
  IN WHICH THE CANON PURSUES THE SUBJECT OF THE BOOKS OF CHIVALRY,
WITH OTHER MATTERS WORTHY OF HIS WIT

  "IT IS as you say, senor canon," said the curate; "and for that
reason those who have hitherto written books of the sort deserve all
the more censure for writing without paying any attention to good
taste or the rules of art, by which they might guide themselves and
become as famous in prose as the two princes of Greek and Latin poetry
are in verse."
  "I myself, at any rate," said the canon, "was once tempted to
write a book of chivalry in which all the points I have mentioned were
to be observed; and if I must own the truth I have more than a hundred
sheets written; and to try if it came up to my own opinion of it, I
showed them to persons who were fond of this kind of reading, to
learned and intelligent men as well as to ignorant people who cared
for nothing but the pleasure of listening to nonsense, and from all
I obtained flattering approval; nevertheless I proceeded no farther
with it, as well because it seemed to me an occupation inconsistent
with my profession, as because I perceived that the fools are more
numerous than the wise; and, though it is better to be praised by
the wise few than applauded by the foolish many, I have no mind to
submit myself to the stupid judgment of the silly public, to whom
the reading of such books falls for the most part.
  "But what most of all made me hold my hand and even abandon all idea
of finishing it was an argument I put to myself taken from the plays
that are acted now-a-days, which was in this wise: if those that are
now in vogue, as well those that are pure invention as those founded
on history, are, all or most of them, downright nonsense and things
that have neither head nor tail, and yet the public listens to them
with delight, and regards and cries them up as perfection when they
are so far from it; and if the authors who write them, and the players
who act them, say that this is what they must be, for the public wants
this and will have nothing else; and that those that go by rule and
work out a plot according to the laws of art will only find some
half-dozen intelligent people to understand them, while all the rest
remain blind to the merit of their composition; and that for
themselves it is better to get bread from the many than praise from
the few; then my book will fare the same way, after I have burnt off
my eyebrows in trying to observe the principles I have spoken of,
and I shall be 'the tailor of the corner.' And though I have sometimes
endeavoured to convince actors that they are mistaken in this notion
they have adopted, and that they would attract more people, and get
more credit, by producing plays in accordance with the rules of art,
than by absurd ones, they are so thoroughly wedded to their own
opinion that no argument or evidence can wean them from it.
  "I remember saying one day to one of these obstinate fellows,
'Tell me, do you not recollect that a few years ago, there were
three tragedies acted in Spain, written by a famous poet of these
kingdoms, which were such that they filled all who heard them with
admiration, delight, and interest, the ignorant as well as the wise,
the masses as well as the higher orders, and brought in more money
to the performers, these three alone, than thirty of the best that
have been since produced?'
  "'No doubt,' replied the actor in question, 'you mean the
"Isabella," the "Phyllis," and the "Alexandra."'
  "'Those are the ones I mean,' said I; 'and see if they did not
observe the principles of art, and if, by observing them, they
failed to show their superiority and please all the world; so that the
fault does not lie with the public that insists upon nonsense, but
with those who don't know how to produce something else. "The
Ingratitude Revenged" was not nonsense, nor was there any in "The
Numantia," nor any to be found in "The Merchant Lover," nor yet in
"The Friendly Fair Foe," nor in some others that have been written
by certain gifted poets, to their own fame and renown, and to the
profit of those that brought them out;' some further remarks I added
to these, with which, I think, I left him rather dumbfoundered, but
not so satisfied or convinced that I could disabuse him of his error."
  "You have touched upon a subject, senor canon," observed the
curate here, "that has awakened an old enmity I have against the plays
in vogue at the present day, quite as strong as that which I bear to
the books of chivalry; for while the drama, according to Tully, should
be the mirror of human life, the model of manners, and the image of
the truth, those which are presented now-a-days are mirrors of
nonsense, models of folly, and images of lewdness. For what greater
nonsense can there be in connection with what we are now discussing
than for an infant to appear in swaddling clothes in the first scene
of the first act, and in the second a grown-up bearded man? Or what
greater absurdity can there be than putting before us an old man as
a swashbuckler, a young man as a poltroon, a lackey using fine
language, a page giving sage advice, a king plying as a porter, a
princess who is a kitchen-maid? And then what shall I say of their
attention to the time in which the action they represent may or can
take place, save that I have seen a play where the first act began
in Europe, the second in Asia, the third finished in Africa, and no
doubt, had it been in four acts, the fourth would have ended in
America, and so it would have been laid in all four quarters of the
globe? And if truth to life is the main thing the drama should keep in
view, how is it possible for any average understanding to be satisfied
when the action is supposed to pass in the time of King Pepin or
Charlemagne, and the principal personage in it they represent to be
the Emperor Heraclius who entered Jerusalem with the cross and won the
Holy Sepulchre, like Godfrey of Bouillon, there being years
innumerable between the one and the other? or, if the play is based on
fiction and historical facts are introduced, or bits of what
occurred to different people and at different times mixed up with
it, all, not only without any semblance of probability, but with
obvious errors that from every point of view are inexcusable? And
the worst of it is, there are ignorant people who say that this is
perfection, and that anything beyond this is affected refinement.
And then if we turn to sacred dramas- what miracles they invent in
them! What apocryphal, ill-devised incidents, attributing to one saint
the miracles of another! And even in secular plays they venture to
introduce miracles without any reason or object except that they think
some such miracle, or transformation as they call it, will come in
well to astonish stupid people and draw them to the play. All this
tends to the prejudice of the truth and the corruption of history, nay
more, to the reproach of the wits of Spain; for foreigners who
scrupulously observe the laws of the drama look upon us as barbarous
and ignorant, when they see the absurdity and nonsense of the plays we
produce. Nor will it be a sufficient excuse to say that the chief
object well-ordered governments have in view when they permit plays to
be performed in public is to entertain the people with some harmless
amusement occasionally, and keep it from those evil humours which
idleness is apt to engender; and that, as this may be attained by
any sort of play, good or bad, there is no need to lay down laws, or
bind those who write or act them to make them as they ought to be
made, since, as I say, the object sought for may be secured by any
sort. To this I would reply that the same end would be, beyond all
comparison, better attained by means of good plays than by those
that are not so; for after listening to an artistic and properly
constructed play, the hearer will come away enlivened by the jests,
instructed by the serious parts, full of admiration at the
incidents, his wits sharpened by the arguments, warned by the
tricks, all the wiser for the examples, inflamed against vice, and
in love with virtue; for in all these ways a good play will
stimulate the mind of the hearer be he ever so boorish or dull; and of
all impossibilities the greatest is that a play endowed with all these
qualities will not entertain, satisfy, and please much more than one
wanting in them, like the greater number of those which are commonly
acted now-a-days. Nor are the poets who write them to be blamed for
this; for some there are among them who are perfectly well aware of
their faults, and know what they ought to do; but as plays have become
a salable commodity, they say, and with truth, that the actors will
not buy them unless they are after this fashion; and so the poet tries
to adapt himself to the requirements of the actor who is to pay him
for his work. And that this is the truth may be seen by the
countless plays that a most fertile wit of these kingdoms has written,
with so much brilliancy, so much grace and gaiety, such polished
versification, such choice language, such profound reflections, and in
a word, so rich in eloquence and elevation of style, that he has
filled the world with his fame; and yet, in consequence of his
desire to suit the taste of the actors, they have not all, as some
of them have, come as near perfection as they ought. Others write
plays with such heedlessness that, after they have been acted, the
actors have to fly and abscond, afraid of being punished, as they
often have been, for having acted something offensive to some king
or other, or insulting to some noble family. All which evils, and many
more that I say nothing of, would be removed if there were some
intelligent and sensible person at the capital to examine all plays
before they were acted, not only those produced in the capital itself,
but all that were intended to be acted in Spain; without whose
approval, seal, and signature, no local magistracy should allow any
play to be acted. In that case actors would take care to send their
plays to the capital, and could act them in safety, and those who
write them would be more careful and take more pains with their
work, standing in awe of having to submit it to the strict examination
of one who understood the matter; and so good plays would be
produced and the objects they aim at happily attained; as well the
amusement of the people, as the credit of the wits of Spain, the
interest and safety of the actors, and the saving of trouble in
inflicting punishment on them. And if the same or some other person
were authorised to examine the newly written books of chivalry, no
doubt some would appear with all the perfections you have described,
enriching our language with the gracious and precious treasure of
eloquence, and driving the old books into obscurity before the light
of the new ones that would come out for the harmless entertainment,
not merely of the idle but of the very busiest; for the bow cannot
be always bent, nor can weak human nature exist without some lawful
amusement."
  The canon and the curate had proceeded thus far with their
conversation, when the barber, coming forward, joined them, and said
to the curate, "This is the spot, senor licentiate, that I said was
a good one for fresh and plentiful pasture for the oxen, while we take
our noontide rest."
  "And so it seems," returned the curate, and he told the canon what
he proposed to do, on which he too made up his mind to halt with them,
attracted by the aspect of the fair valley that lay before their eyes;
and to enjoy it as well as the conversation of the curate, to whom
he had begun to take a fancy, and also to learn more particulars about
the doings of Don Quixote, he desired some of his servants to go on to
the inn, which was not far distant, and fetch from it what eatables
there might be for the whole party, as he meant to rest for the
afternoon where he was; to which one of his servants replied that
the sumpter mule, which by this time ought to have reached the inn,
carried provisions enough to make it unnecessary to get anything
from the inn except barley.
  "In that case," said the canon, "take all the beasts there, and
bring the sumpter mule back."
  While this was going on, Sancho, perceiving that he could speak to
his master without having the curate and the barber, of whom he had
his suspicions, present all the time, approached the cage in which Don
Quixote was placed, and said, "Senor, to ease my conscience I want
to tell you the state of the case as to your enchantment, and that
is that these two here, with their faces covered, are the curate of
our village and the barber; and I suspect they have hit upon this plan
of carrying you off in this fashion, out of pure envy because your
worship surpasses them in doing famous deeds; and if this be the truth
it follows that you are not enchanted, but hoodwinked and made a
fool of. And to prove this I want to ask you one thing; and if you
answer me as I believe you will answer, you will be able to lay your
finger on the trick, and you will see that you are not enchanted but
gone wrong in your wits."
  "Ask what thou wilt, Sancho my son," returned Don Quixote, "for I
will satisfy thee and answer all thou requirest. As to what thou
sayest, that these who accompany us yonder are the curate and the
barber, our neighbours and acquaintances, it is very possible that
they may seem to he those same persons; but that they are so in
reality and in fact, believe it not on any account; what thou art to
believe and think is that, if they look like them, as thou sayest,
it must be that those who have enchanted me have taken this shape
and likeness; for it is easy for enchanters to take any form they
please, and they may have taken those of our friends in order to
make thee think as thou dost, and lead thee into a labyrinth of
fancies from which thou wilt find no escape though thou hadst the cord
of Theseus; and they may also have done it to make me uncertain in
my mind, and unable to conjecture whence this evil comes to me; for if
on the one hand thou dost tell me that the barber and curate of our
village are here in company with us, and on the other I find myself
shut up in a cage, and know in my heart that no power on earth that
was not supernatural would have been able to shut me in, what
wouldst thou have me say or think, but that my enchantment is of a
sort that transcends all I have ever read of in all the histories that
deal with knights-errant that have been enchanted? So thou mayest
set thy mind at rest as to the idea that they are what thou sayest,
for they are as much so as I am a Turk. But touching thy desire to ask
me something, say on, and I will answer thee, though thou shouldst ask
questions from this till to-morrow morning."
  "May Our Lady be good to me!" said Sancho, lifting up his voice;
"and is it possible that your worship is so thick of skull and so
short of brains that you cannot see that what I say is the simple
truth, and that malice has more to do with your imprisonment and
misfortune than enchantment? But as it is so, I will prove plainly
to you that you are not enchanted. Now tell me, so may God deliver you
from this affliction, and so may you find yourself when you least
expect it in the arms of my lady Dulcinea-"
  "Leave off conjuring me," said Don Quixote, "and ask what thou
wouldst know; I have already told thee I will answer with all possible
precision."
  "That is what I want," said Sancho; "and what I would know, and have
you tell me, without adding or leaving out anything, but telling the
whole truth as one expects it to be told, and as it is told, by all
who profess arms, as your worship professes them, under the title of
knights-errant-"
  "I tell thee I will not lie in any particular," said Don Quixote;
"finish thy question; for in truth thou weariest me with all these
asseverations, requirements, and precautions, Sancho."
  "Well, I rely on the goodness and truth of my master," said
Sancho; "and so, because it bears upon what we are talking about, I
would ask, speaking with all reverence, whether since your worship has
been shut up and, as you think, enchanted in this cage, you have
felt any desire or inclination to go anywhere, as the saying is?"
  "I do not understand 'going anywhere,'" said Don Quixote; "explain
thyself more clearly, Sancho, if thou wouldst have me give an answer
to the point."
  "Is it possible," said Sancho, "that your worship does not
understand 'going anywhere'? Why, the schoolboys know that from the
time they were babes. Well then, you must know I mean have you had any
desire to do what cannot be avoided?"
  "Ah! now I understand thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "yes,
often, and even this minute; get me out of this strait, or all will
not go right."
  CHAPTER XLIX
  WHICH TREATS OF THE SHREWD CONVERSATION WHICH SANCHO PANZA HELD WITH
HIS MASTER DON QUIXOTE

  "AHA, I have caught you," said Sancho; "this is what in my heart and
soul I was longing to know. Come now, senor, can you deny what is
commonly said around us, when a person is out of humour, 'I don't know
what ails so-and-so, that he neither eats, nor drinks, nor sleeps, nor
gives a proper answer to any question; one would think he was
enchanted'? From which it is to be gathered that those who do not eat,
or drink, or sleep, or do any of the natural acts I am speaking of-
that such persons are enchanted; but not those that have the desire
your worship has, and drink when drink is given them, and eat when
there is anything to eat, and answer every question that is asked
them."
  "What thou sayest is true, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "but I have
already told thee there are many sorts of enchantments, and it may
be that in the course of time they have been changed one for
another, and that now it may be the way with enchanted people to do
all that I do, though they did not do so before; so it is vain to
argue or draw inferences against the usage of the time. I know and
feel that I am enchanted, and that is enough to ease my conscience;
for it would weigh heavily on it if I thought that I was not
enchanted, and that in a aint-hearted and cowardly way I allowed
myself to lie in this cage, defrauding multitudes of the succour I
might afford to those in need and distress, who at this very moment
may be in sore want of my aid and protection."
  "Still for all that," replied Sancho, "I say that, for your
greater and fuller satisfaction, it would be well if your worship were
to try to get out of this prison (and I promise to do all in my
power to help, and even to take you out of it), and see if you could
once more mount your good Rocinante, who seems to be enchanted too, he
is so melancholy and dejected; and then we might try our chance in
looking for adventures again; and if we have no luck there will be
time enough to go back to the cage; in which, on the faith of a good
and loyal squire, I promise to shut myself up along with your worship,
if so be you are so unfortunate, or I so stupid, as not to be able
to carry out my plan."
  "I am content to do as thou sayest, brother Sancho," said Don
Quixote, "and when thou seest an opportunity for effecting my
release I will obey thee absolutely; but thou wilt see, Sancho, how
mistaken thou art in thy conception of my misfortune."
  The knight-errant and the ill-errant squire kept up their
conversation till they reached the place where the curate, the
canon, and the barber, who had already dismounted, were waiting for
them. The carter at once unyoked the oxen and left them to roam at
large about the pleasant green spot, the freshness of which seemed
to invite, not enchanted people like Don Quixote, but wide-awake,
sensible folk like his squire, who begged the curate to allow his
master to leave the cage for a little; for if they did not let him
out, the prison might not be as clean as the propriety of such a
gentleman as his master required. The curate understood him, and
said he would very gladly comply with his request, only that he feared
his master, finding himself at liberty, would take to his old
courses and make off where nobody could ever find him again.
  "I will answer for his not running away," said Sancho.
  "And I also," said the canon, "especially if he gives me his word as
a knight not to leave us without our consent."
  Don Quixote, who was listening to all this, said, "I give it;-
moreover one who is enchanted as I am cannot do as he likes with
himself; for he who had enchanted him could prevent his moving from
one place for three ages, and if he attempted to escape would bring
him back flying."- And that being so, they might as well release
him, particularly as it would be to the advantage of all; for, if they
did not let him out, he protested he would be unable to avoid
offending their nostrils unless they kept their distance.
  The canon took his hand, tied together as they both were, and on his
word and promise they unbound him, and rejoiced beyond measure he
was to find himself out of the cage. The first thing he did was to
stretch himself all over, and then he went to where Rocinante was
standing and giving him a couple of slaps on the haunches said, "I
still trust in God and in his blessed mother, O flower and mirror of
steeds, that we shall soon see ourselves, both of us, as we wish to
be, thou with thy master on thy back, and I mounted upon thee,
following the calling for which God sent me into the world." And so
saying, accompanied by Sancho, he withdrew to a retired spot, from
which he came back much relieved and more eager than ever to put his
squire's scheme into execution.
  The canon gazed at him, wondering at the extraordinary nature of his
madness, and that in all his remarks and replies he should show such
excellent sense, and only lose his stirrups, as has been already said,
when the subject of chivalry was broached. And so, moved by
compassion, he said to him, as they all sat on the green grass
awaiting the arrival of the provisions:
  "Is it possible, gentle sir, that the nauseous and idle reading of
books of chivalry can have had such an effect on your worship as to
upset your reason so that you fancy yourself enchanted, and the
like, all as far from the truth as falsehood itself is? How can
there be any human understanding that can persuade itself there ever
was all that infinity of Amadises in the world, or all that
multitude of famous knights, all those emperors of Trebizond, all
those Felixmartes of Hircania, all those palfreys, and damsels-errant,
and serpents, and monsters, and giants, and marvellous adventures, and
enchantments of every kind, and battles, and prodigious encounters,
splendid costumes, love-sick princesses, squires made counts, droll
dwarfs, love letters, billings and cooings, swashbuckler women, and,
in a word, all that nonsense the books of chivalry contain? For
myself, I can only say that when I read them, so long as I do not stop
to think that they are all lies and frivolity, they give me a
certain amount of pleasure; but when I come to consider what they are,
I fling the very best of them at the wall, and would fling it into the
fire if there were one at hand, as richly deserving such punishment as
cheats and impostors out of the range of ordinary toleration, and as
founders of new sects and modes of life, and teachers that lead the
ignorant public to believe and accept as truth all the folly they
contain. And such is their audacity, they even dare to unsettle the
wits of gentlemen of birth and intelligence, as is shown plainly by
the way they have served your worship, when they have brought you to
such a pass that you have to be shut up in a cage and carried on an
ox-cart as one would carry a lion or a tiger from place to place to
make money by showing it. Come, Senor Don Quixote, have some
compassion for yourself, return to the bosom of common sense, and make
use of the liberal share of it that heaven has been pleased to
bestow upon you, employing your abundant gifts of mind in some other
reading that may serve to benefit your conscience and add to your
honour. And if, still led away by your natural bent, you desire to
read books of achievements and of chivalry, read the Book of Judges in
the Holy Scriptures, for there you will find grand reality, and
deeds as true as they are heroic. Lusitania had a Viriatus, Rome a
Caesar, Carthage a Hannibal, Greece an Alexander, Castile a Count
Fernan Gonzalez, Valencia a Cid, Andalusia a Gonzalo Fernandez,
Estremadura a Diego Garcia de Paredes, Jerez a Garci Perez de
Vargas, Toledo a Garcilaso, Seville a Don Manuel de Leon, to read of
whose valiant deeds will entertain and instruct the loftiest minds and
fill them with delight and wonder. Here, Senor Don Quixote, will be
reading worthy of your sound understanding; from which you will rise
learned in history, in love with virtue, strengthened in goodness,
improved in manners, brave without rashness, prudent without
cowardice; and all to the honour of God, your own advantage and the
glory of La Mancha, whence, I am informed, your worship derives your
birth."
  Don Quixote listened with the greatest attention to the canon's
words, and when he found he had finished, after regarding him for some
time, he replied to him:
  "It appears to me, gentle sir, that your worship's discourse is
intended to persuade me that there never were any knights-errant in
the world, and that all the books of chivalry are false, lying,
mischievous and useless to the State, and that I have done wrong in
reading them, and worse in believing them, and still worse in
imitating them, when I undertook to follow the arduous calling of
knight-errantry which they set forth; for you deny that there ever
were Amadises of Gaul or of Greece, or any other of the knights of
whom the books are full."
  "It is all exactly as you state it," said the canon; to which Don
Quixote returned, "You also went on to say that books of this kind had
done me much harm, inasmuch as they had upset my senses, and shut me
up in a cage, and that it would be better for me to reform and
change my studies, and read other truer books which would afford
more pleasure and instruction."
  "Just so," said the canon.
  "Well then," returned Don Quixote, "to my mind it is you who are the
one that is out of his wits and enchanted, as you have ventured to
utter such blasphemies against a thing so universally acknowledged and
accepted as true that whoever denies it, as you do, deserves the
same punishment which you say you inflict on the books that irritate
you when you read them. For to try to persuade anybody that Amadis,
and all the other knights-adventurers with whom the books are
filled, never existed, would be like trying to persuade him that the
sun does not yield light, or ice cold, or earth nourishment. What
wit in the world can persuade another that the story of the Princess
Floripes and Guy of Burgundy is not true, or that of Fierabras and the
bridge of Mantible, which happened in the time of Charlemagne? For
by all that is good it is as true as that it is daylight now; and if
it be a lie, it must be a lie too that there was a Hector, or
Achilles, or Trojan war, or Twelve Peers of France, or Arthur of
England, who still lives changed into a raven, and is unceasingly
looked for in his kingdom. One might just as well try to make out that
the history of Guarino Mezquino, or of the quest of the Holy Grail, is
false, or that the loves of Tristram and the Queen Yseult are
apocryphal, as well as those of Guinevere and Lancelot, when there are
persons who can almost remember having seen the Dame Quintanona, who
was the best cupbearer in Great Britain. And so true is this, that I
recollect a grandmother of mine on the father's side, whenever she saw
any dame in a venerable hood, used to say to me, 'Grandson, that one
is like Dame Quintanona,' from which I conclude that she must have
known her, or at least had managed to see some portrait of her. Then
who can deny that the story of Pierres and the fair Magalona is
true, when even to this day may be seen in the king's armoury the
pin with which the valiant Pierres guided the wooden horse he rode
through the air, and it is a trifle bigger than the pole of a cart?
And alongside of the pin is Babieca's saddle, and at Roncesvalles
there is Roland's horn, as large as a large beam; whence we may
infer that there were Twelve Peers, and a Pierres, and a Cid, and
other knights like them, of the sort people commonly call adventurers.
Or perhaps I shall be told, too, that there was no such
knight-errant as the valiant Lusitanian Juan de Merlo, who went to
Burgundy and in the city of Arras fought with the famous lord of
Charny, Mosen Pierres by name, and afterwards in the city of Basle
with Mosen Enrique de Remesten, coming out of both encounters
covered with fame and honour; or adventures and challenges achieved
and delivered, also in Burgundy, by the valiant Spaniards Pedro
Barba and Gutierre Quixada (of whose family I come in the direct
male line), when they vanquished the sons of the Count of San Polo.
I shall be told, too, that Don Fernando de Guevara did not go in quest
of adventures to Germany, where he engaged in combat with Micer
George, a knight of the house of the Duke of Austria. I shall be
told that the jousts of Suero de Quinones, him of the 'Paso,' and
the emprise of Mosen Luis de Falces against the Castilian knight,
Don Gonzalo de Guzman, were mere mockeries; as well as many other
achievements of Christian knights of these and foreign realms, which
are so authentic and true, that, I repeat, he who denies them must
be totally wanting in reason and good sense."
  The canon was amazed to hear the medley of truth and fiction Don
Quixote uttered, and to see how well acquainted he was with everything
relating or belonging to the achievements of his knight-errantry; so
he said in reply:
  "I cannot deny, Senor Don Quixote, that there is some truth in
what you say, especially as regards the Spanish knights-errant; and
I am willing to grant too that the Twelve Peers of France existed, but
I am not disposed to believe that they did all the things that the
Archbishop Turpin relates of them. For the truth of the matter is they
were knights chosen by the kings of France, and called 'Peers' because
they were all equal in worth, rank and prowess (at least if they
were not they ought to have been), and it was a kind of religious
order like those of Santiago and Calatrava in the present day, in
which it is assumed that those who take it are valiant knights of
distinction and good birth; and just as we say now a Knight of St.
John, or of Alcantara, they used to say then a Knight of the Twelve
Peers, because twelve equals were chosen for that military order. That
there was a Cid, as well as a Bernardo del Carpio, there can be no
doubt; but that they did the deeds people say they did, I hold to be
very doubtful. In that other matter of the pin of Count Pierres that
you speak of, and say is near Babieca's saddle in the Armoury, I
confess my sin; for I am either so stupid or so short-sighted, that,
though I have seen the saddle, I have never been able to see the
pin, in spite of it being as big as your worship says it is."
  "For all that it is there, without any manner of doubt," said Don
Quixote; "and more by token they say it is inclosed in a sheath of
cowhide to keep it from rusting."
  "All that may be," replied the canon; "but, by the orders I have
received, I do not remember seeing it. However, granting it is
there, that is no reason why I am bound to believe the stories of
all those Amadises and of all that multitude of knights they tell us
about, nor is it reasonable that a man like your worship, so worthy,
and with so many good qualities, and endowed with such a good
understanding, should allow himself to be persuaded that such wild
crazy things as are written in those absurd books of chivalry are
really true."
  CHAPTER L
  OF THE SHREWD CONTROVERSY WHICH DON QUIXOTE AND THE CANON HELD,
TOGETHER WITH OTHER INCIDENTS

  "A GOOD joke, that!" returned Don Quixote. "Books that have been
printed with the king's licence, and with the approbation of those
to whom they have been submitted, and read with universal delight, and
extolled by great and small, rich and poor, learned and ignorant,
gentle and simple, in a word by people of every sort, of whatever rank
or condition they may be- that these should be lies! And above all
when they carry such an appearance of truth with them; for they tell
us the father, mother, country, kindred, age, place, and the
achievements, step by step, and day by day, performed by such a knight
or knights! Hush, sir; utter not such blasphemy; trust me I am
advising you now to act as a sensible man should; only read them,
and you will see the pleasure you will derive from them. For, come,
tell me, can there be anything more delightful than to see, as it
were, here now displayed before us a vast lake of bubbling pitch
with a host of snakes and serpents and lizards, and ferocious and
terrible creatures of all sorts swimming about in it, while from the
middle of the lake there comes a plaintive voice saying: 'Knight,
whosoever thou art who beholdest this dread lake, if thou wouldst
win the prize that lies hidden beneath these dusky waves, prove the
valour of thy stout heart and cast thyself into the midst of its
dark burning waters, else thou shalt not be worthy to see the mighty
wonders contained in the seven castles of the seven Fays that lie
beneath this black expanse;' and then the knight, almost ere the awful
voice has ceased, without stopping to consider, without pausing to
reflect upon the danger to which he is exposing himself, without
even relieving himself of the weight of his massive armour, commending
himself to God and to his lady, plunges into the midst of the
boiling lake, and when he little looks for it, or knows what his
fate is to be, he finds himself among flowery meadows, with which
the Elysian fields are not to be compared. The sky seems more
transparent there, and the sun shines with a strange brilliancy, and a
delightful grove of green leafy trees presents itself to the eyes
and charms the sight with its verdure, while the ear is soothed by the
sweet untutored melody of the countless birds of gay plumage that flit
to and fro among the interlacing branches. Here he sees a brook
whose limpid waters, like liquid crystal, ripple over fine sands and
white pebbles that look like sifted gold and purest pearls. There he
perceives a cunningly wrought fountain of many-coloured jasper and
polished marble; here another of rustic fashion where the little
mussel-shells and the spiral white and yellow mansions of the snail
disposed in studious disorder, mingled with fragments of glittering
crystal and mock emeralds, make up a work of varied aspect, where art,
imitating nature, seems to have outdone it. Suddenly there is
presented to his sight a strong castle or gorgeous palace with walls
of massy gold, turrets of diamond and gates of jacinth; in short, so
marvellous is its structure that though the materials of which it is
built are nothing less than diamonds, carbuncles, rubies, pearls,
gold, and emeralds, the workmanship is still more rare. And after
having seen all this, what can be more charming than to see how a bevy
of damsels comes forth from the gate of the castle in gay and gorgeous
attire, such that, were I to set myself now to depict it as the
histories describe it to us, I should never have done; and then how
she who seems to be the first among them all takes the bold knight who
plunged into the boiling lake by the hand, and without addressing a
word to him leads him into the rich palace or castle, and strips him
as naked as when his mother bore him, and bathes him in lukewarm
water, and anoints him all over with sweet-smelling unguents, and
clothes him in a shirt of the softest sendal, all scented and
perfumed, while another damsel comes and throws over his shoulders a
mantle which is said to be worth at the very least a city, and even
more? How charming it is, then, when they tell us how, after all this,
they lead him to another chamber where he finds the tables set out
in such style that he is filled with amazement and wonder; to see
how they pour out water for his hands distilled from amber and
sweet-scented flowers; how they seat him on an ivory chair; to see how
the damsels wait on him all in profound silence; how they bring him
such a variety of dainties so temptingly prepared that the appetite is
at a loss which to select; to hear the music that resounds while he is
at table, by whom or whence produced he knows not. And then when the
repast is over and the tables removed, for the knight to recline in
the chair, picking his teeth perhaps as usual, and a damsel, much
lovelier than any of the others, to enter unexpectedly by the
chamber door, and herself by his side, and begin to tell him what
the castle is, and how she is held enchanted there, and other things
that amaze the knight and astonish the readers who are perusing his
history. But I will not expatiate any further upon this, as it may
be gathered from it that whatever part of whatever history of a
knight-errant one reads, it will fill the reader, whoever he be,
with delight and wonder; and take my advice, sir, and, as I said
before, read these books and you will see how they will banish any
melancholy you may feel and raise your spirits should they be
depressed. For myself I can say that since I have been a knight-errant
I have become valiant, polite, generous, well-bred, magnanimous,
courteous, dauntless, gentle, patient, and have learned to bear
hardships, imprisonments, and enchantments; and though it be such a
short time since I have seen myself shut up in a cage like a madman, I
hope by the might of my arm, if heaven aid me and fortune thwart me
not, to see myself king of some kingdom where I may be able to show
the gratitude and generosity that dwell in my heart; for by my
faith, senor, the poor man is incapacitated from showing the virtue of
generosity to anyone, though he may possess it in the highest
degree; and gratitude that consists of disposition only is a dead
thing, just as faith without works is dead. For this reason I should
be glad were fortune soon to offer me some opportunity of making
myself an emperor, so as to show my heart in doing good to my friends,
particularly to this poor Sancho Panza, my squire, who is the best
fellow in the world; and I would gladly give him a county I have
promised him this ever so long, only that I am afraid he has not the
capacity to govern his realm."
  Sancho partly heard these last words of his master, and said to him,
"Strive hard you, Senor Don Quixote, to give me that county so often
promised by you and so long looked for by me, for I promise you
there will be no want of capacity in me to govern it; and even if
there is, I have heard say there are men in the world who farm
seigniories, paying so much a year, and they themselves taking
charge of the government, while the lord, with his legs stretched out,
enjoys the revenue they pay him, without troubling himself about
anything else. That's what I'll do, and not stand haggling over
trifles, but wash my hands at once of the whole business, and enjoy my
rents like a duke, and let things go their own way."
  "That, brother Sancho," said the canon, "only holds good as far as
the enjoyment of the revenue goes; but the lord of the seigniory
must attend to the administration of justice, and here capacity and
sound judgment come in, and above all a firm determination to find out
the truth; for if this be wanting in the beginning, the middle and the
end will always go wrong; and God as commonly aids the honest
intentions of the simple as he frustrates the evil designs of the
crafty."
  "I don't understand those philosophies," returned Sancho Panza; "all
I know is I would I had the county as soon as I shall know how to
govern it; for I have as much soul as another, and as much body as
anyone, and I shall be as much king of my realm as any other of his;
and being so I should do as I liked, and doing as I liked I should
please myself, and pleasing myself I should be content, and when one
is content he has nothing more to desire, and when one has nothing
more to desire there is an end of it; so let the county come, and
God he with you, and let us see one another, as one blind man said
to the other."
  "That is not bad philosophy thou art talking, Sancho," said the
canon; "but for all that there is a good deal to be said on this
matter of counties."
  To which Don Quixote returned, "I know not what more there is to
be said; I only guide myself by the example set me by the great Amadis
of Gaul, when he made his squire count of the Insula Firme; and so,
without any scruples of conscience, I can make a count of Sancho
Panza, for he is one of the best squires that ever knight-errant had."
  The canon was astonished at the methodical nonsense (if nonsense
be capable of method) that Don Quixote uttered, at the way in which he
had described the adventure of the knight of the lake, at the
impression that the deliberate lies of the books he read had made upon
him, and lastly he marvelled at the simplicity of Sancho, who
desired so eagerly to obtain the county his master had promised him.
  By this time the canon's servants, who had gone to the inn to
fetch the sumpter mule, had returned, and making a carpet and the
green grass of the meadow serve as a table, they seated themselves
in the shade of some trees and made their repast there, that the
carter might not be deprived of the advantage of the spot, as has been
already said. As they were eating they suddenly heard a loud noise and
the sound of a bell that seemed to come from among some brambles and
thick bushes that were close by, and the same instant they observed
a beautiful goat, spotted all over black, white, and brown, spring out
of the thicket with a goatherd after it, calling to it and uttering
the usual cries to make it stop or turn back to the fold. The fugitive
goat, scared and frightened, ran towards the company as if seeking
their protection and then stood still, and the goatherd coming up
seized it by the horns and began to talk to it as if it were possessed
of reason and understanding: "Ah wanderer, wanderer, Spotty, Spotty;
how have you gone limping all this time? What wolves have frightened
you, my daughter? Won't you tell me what is the matter, my beauty? But
what else can it be except that you are a she, and cannot keep
quiet? A plague on your humours and the humours of those you take
after! Come back, come back, my darling; and if you will not be so
happy, at any rate you will be safe in the fold or with your
companions; for if you who ought to keep and lead them, go wandering
astray, what will become of them?"
  The goatherd's talk amused all who heard it, but especially the
canon, who said to him, "As you live, brother, take it easy, and be
not in such a hurry to drive this goat back to the fold; for, being
a female, as you say, she will follow her natural instinct in spite of
all you can do to prevent it. Take this morsel and drink a sup, and
that will soothe your irritation, and in the meantime the goat will
rest herself," and so saying, he handed him the loins of a cold rabbit
on a fork.
  The goatherd took it with thanks, and drank and calmed himself,
and then said, "I should be sorry if your worships were to take me for
a simpleton for having spoken so seriously as I did to this animal;
but the truth is there is a certain mystery in the words I used. I
am a clown, but not so much of one but that I know how to behave to
men and to beasts."
  "That I can well believe," said the curate, "for I know already by
experience that the woods breed men of learning, and shepherds'
harbour philosophers."
  "At all events, senor," returned the goatherd, "they shelter men
of experience; and that you may see the truth of this and grasp it,
though I may seem to put myself forward without being asked, I will,
if it will not tire you, gentlemen, and you will give me your
attention for a little, tell you a true story which will confirm
this gentleman's word (and he pointed to the curate) as well as my
own."
  To this Don Quixote replied, "Seeing that this affair has a
certain colour of chivalry about it, I for my part, brother, will hear
you most gladly, and so will all these gentlemen, from the high
intelligence they possess and their love of curious novelties that
interest, charm, and entertain the mind, as I feel quite sure your
story will do. So begin, friend, for we are all prepared to listen."
  "I draw my stakes," said Sancho, "and will retreat with this pasty
to the brook there, where I mean to victual myself for three days; for
I have heard my lord, Don Quixote, say that a knight-errant's squire
should eat until he can hold no more, whenever he has the chance,
because it often happens them to get by accident into a wood so
thick that they cannot find a way out of it for six days; and if the
man is not well filled or his alforjas well stored, there he may stay,
as very often he does, turned into a dried mummy."
  "Thou art in the right of it, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "go where
thou wilt and eat all thou canst, for I have had enough, and only want
to give my mind its refreshment, as I shall by listening to this
good fellow's story."
  "It is what we shall all do," said the canon; and then begged the
goatherd to begin the promised tale.
  The goatherd gave the goat which he held by the horns a couple of
slaps on the back, saying, "Lie down here beside me, Spotty, for we
have time enough to return to our fold." The goat seemed to understand
him, for as her master seated himself, she stretched herself quietly
beside him and looked up in his face to show him she was all attention
to what he was going to say, and then in these words he began his
story.
  CHAPTER LI
  WHICH DEALS WITH WHAT THE GOATHERD TOLD THOSE WHO WERE CARRYING
OFF DON QUIXOTE

  THREE leagues from this valley there is a village which, though
small, is one of the richest in all this neighbourhood, and in it
there lived a farmer, a very worthy man, and so much respected that,
although to be so is the natural consequence of being rich, he was
even more respected for his virtue than for the wealth he had
acquired. But what made him still more fortunate, as he said
himself, was having a daughter of such exceeding beauty, rare
intelligence, gracefulness, and virtue, that everyone who knew her and
beheld her marvelled at the extraordinary gifts with which heaven
and nature had endowed her. As a child she was beautiful, she
continued to grow in beauty, and at the age of sixteen she was most
lovely. The fame of her beauty began to spread abroad through all
the villages around- but why do I say the villages around, merely,
when it spread to distant cities, and even made its way into the halls
of royalty and reached the ears of people of every class, who came
from all sides to see her as if to see something rare and curious,
or some wonder-working image?
  Her father watched over her and she watched over herself; for
there are no locks, or guards, or bolts that can protect a young
girl better than her own modesty. The wealth of the father and the
beauty of the daughter led many neighbours as well as strangers to
seek her for a wife; but he, as one might well be who had the disposal
of so rich a jewel, was perplexed and unable to make up his mind to
which of her countless suitors he should entrust her. I was one
among the many who felt a desire so natural, and, as her father knew
who I was, and I was of the same town, of pure blood, in the bloom
of life, and very rich in possessions, I had great hopes of success.
There was another of the same place and qualifications who also sought
her, and this made her father's choice hang in the balance, for he
felt that on either of us his daughter would be well bestowed; so to
escape from this state of perplexity he resolved to refer the matter
to Leandra (for that is the name of the rich damsel who has reduced me
to misery), reflecting that as we were both equal it would be best
to leave it to his dear daughter to choose according to her
inclination- a course that is worthy of imitation by all fathers who
wish to settle their children in life. I do not mean that they ought
to leave them to make a choice of what is contemptible and bad, but
that they should place before them what is good and then allow them to
make a good choice as they please. I do not know which Leandra
chose; I only know her father put us both off with the tender age of
his daughter and vague words that neither bound him nor dismissed
us. My rival is called Anselmo and I myself Eugenio- that you may know
the names of the personages that figure in this tragedy, the end of
which is still in suspense, though it is plain to see it must be
disastrous.
  About this time there arrived in our town one Vicente de la Roca,
the son of a poor peasant of the same town, the said Vicente having
returned from service as a soldier in Italy and divers other parts.
A captain who chanced to pass that way with his company had carried
him off from our village when he was a boy of about twelve years,
and now twelve years later the young man came back in a soldier's
uniform, arrayed in a thousand colours, and all over glass trinkets
and fine steel chains. To-day he would appear in one gay dress,
to-morrow in another; but all flimsy and gaudy, of little substance
and less worth. The peasant folk, who are naturally malicious, and
when they have nothing to do can be malice itself, remarked all
this, and took note of his finery and jewellery, piece by piece, and
discovered that he had three suits of different colours, with
garters and stockings to match; but he made so many arrangements and
combinations out of them, that if they had not counted them, anyone
would have sworn that he had made a display of more than ten suits
of clothes and twenty plumes. Do not look upon all this that I am
telling you about the clothes as uncalled for or spun out, for they
have a great deal to do with the story. He used to seat himself on a
bench under the great poplar in our plaza, and there he would keep
us all hanging open-mouthed on the stories he told us of his exploits.
There was no country on the face of the globe he had not seen, nor
battle he had not been engaged in; he had killed more Moors than there
are in Morocco and Tunis, and fought more single combats, according to
his own account, than Garcilaso, Diego Garcia de Paredes and a
thousand others he named, and out of all he had come victorious
without losing a drop of blood. On the other hand he showed marks of
wounds, which, though they could not be made out, he said were gunshot
wounds received in divers encounters and actions. Lastly, with
monstrous impudence he used to say "you" to his equals and even
those who knew what he was, and declare that his arm was his father
and his deeds his pedigree, and that being a soldier he was as good as
the king himself. And to add to these swaggering ways he was a
trifle of a musician, and played the guitar with such a flourish
that some said he made it speak; nor did his accomplishments end here,
for he was something of a poet too, and on every trifle that
happened in the town he made a ballad a league long.
  This soldier, then, that I have described, this Vicente de la
Roca, this bravo, gallant, musician, poet, was often seen and
watched by Leandra from a window of her house which looked out on
the plaza. The glitter of his showy attire took her fancy, his ballads
bewitched her (for he gave away twenty copies of every one he made),
the tales of his exploits which he told about himself came to her
ears; and in short, as the devil no doubt had arranged it, she fell in
love with him before the presumption of making love to her had
suggested itself to him; and as in love-affairs none are more easily
brought to an issue than those which have the inclination of the
lady for an ally, Leandra and Vicente came to an understanding without
any difficulty; and before any of her numerous suitors had any
suspicion of her design, she had already carried it into effect,
having left the house of her dearly beloved father (for mother she had
none), and disappeared from the village with the soldier, who came
more triumphantly out of this enterprise than out of any of the
large number he laid claim to. All the village and all who heard of it
were amazed at the affair; I was aghast, Anselmo thunderstruck, her
father full of grief, her relations indignant, the authorities all
in a ferment, the officers of the Brotherhood in arms. They scoured
the roads, they searched the woods and all quarters, and at the end of
three days they found the flighty Leandra in a mountain cave, stript
to her shift, and robbed of all the money and precious jewels she
had carried away from home with her. They brought her back to her
unhappy father, and questioned her as to her misfortune, and she
confessed without pressure that Vicente de la Roca had deceived her,
and under promise of marrying her had induced her to leave her
father's house, as he meant to take her to the richest and most
delightful city in the whole world, which was Naples; and that she,
ill-advised and deluded, had believed him, and robbed her father,
and handed over all to him the night she disappeared; and that he
had carried her away to a rugged mountain and shut her up in the
eave where they had found her. She said, moreover, that the soldier,
without robbing her of her honour, had taken from her everything she
had, and made off, leaving her in the cave, a thing that still further
surprised everybody. It was not easy for us to credit the young
man's continence, but she asserted it with such earnestness that it
helped to console her distressed father, who thought nothing of what
had been taken since the jewel that once lost can never be recovered
had been left to his daughter. The same day that Leandra made her
appearance her father removed her from our sight and took her away
to shut her up in a convent in a town near this, in the hope that time
may wear away some of the disgrace she has incurred. Leandra's youth
furnished an excuse for her fault, at least with those to whom it
was of no consequence whether she was good or bad; but those who
knew her shrewdness and intelligence did not attribute her
misdemeanour to ignorance but to wantonness and the natural
disposition of women, which is for the most part flighty and
ill-regulated.
  Leandra withdrawn from sight, Anselmo's eyes grew blind, or at any
rate found nothing to look at that gave them any pleasure, and mine
were in darkness without a ray of light to direct them to anything
enjoyable while Leandra was away. Our melancholy grew greater, our
patience grew less; we cursed the soldier's finery and railed at the
carelessness of Leandra's father. At last Anselmo and I agreed to
leave the village and come to this valley; and, he feeding a great
flock of sheep of his own, and I a large herd of goats of mine, we
pass our life among the trees, giving vent to our sorrows, together
singing the fair Leandra's praises, or upbraiding her, or else sighing
alone, and to heaven pouring forth our complaints in solitude.
Following our example, many more of Leandra's lovers have come to
these rude mountains and adopted our mode of life, and they are so
numerous that one would fancy the place had been turned into the
pastoral Arcadia, so full is it of shepherds and sheep-folds; nor is
there a spot in it where the name of the fair Leandra is not heard.
Here one curses her and calls her capricious, fickle, and immodest,
there another condemns her as frail and frivolous; this pardons and
absolves her, that spurns and reviles her; one extols her beauty,
another assails her character, and in short all abuse her, and all
adore her, and to such a pitch has this general infatuation gone
that there are some who complain of her scorn without ever having
exchanged a word with her, and even some that bewail and mourn the
raging fever of jealousy, for which she never gave anyone cause,
for, as I have already said, her misconduct was known before her
passion. There is no nook among the rocks, no brookside, no shade
beneath the trees that is not haunted by some shepherd telling his
woes to the breezes; wherever there is an echo it repeats the name
of Leandra; the mountains ring with "Leandra," "Leandra" murmur the
brooks, and Leandra keeps us all bewildered and bewitched, hoping
without hope and fearing without knowing what we fear. Of all this
silly set the one that shows the least and also the most sense is my
rival Anselmo, for having so many other things to complain of, he only
complains of separation, and to the accompaniment of a rebeck, which
he plays admirably, he sings his complaints in verses that show his
ingenuity. I follow another, easier, and to my mind wiser course,
and that is to rail at the frivolity of women, at their inconstancy,
their double dealing, their broken promises, their unkept pledges, and
in short the want of reflection they show in fixing their affections
and inclinations. This, sirs, was the reason of words and
expressions I made use of to this goat when I came up just now; for as
she is a female I have a contempt for her, though she is the best in
all my fold. This is the story I promised to tell you, and if I have
been tedious in telling it, I will not be slow to serve you; my hut is
close by, and I have fresh milk and dainty cheese there, as well as
a variety of toothsome fruit, no less pleasing to the eye than to
the palate.
  CHAPTER LII
  OF THE QUARREL THAT DON QUIXOTE HAD WITH THE GOATHERD, TOGETHER WITH
THE RARE ADVENTURE OF THE PENITENTS, WHICH WITH AN EXPENDITURE OF
SWEAT HE BROUGHT TO A HAPPY CONCLUSION

  THE goatherd's tale gave great satisfaction to all the hearers,
and the canon especially enjoyed it, for he had remarked with
particular attention the manner in which it had been told, which was
as unlike the manner of a clownish goatherd as it was like that of a
polished city wit; and he observed that the curate had been quite
right in saying that the woods bred men of learning. They all
offered their services to Eugenio but he who showed himself most
liberal in this way was Don Quixote, who said to him, "Most assuredly,
brother goatherd, if I found myself in a position to attempt any
adventure, I would, this very instant, set out on your behalf, and
would rescue Leandra from that convent (where no doubt she is kept
against her will), in spite of the abbess and all who might try to
prevent me, and would place her in your hands to deal with her
according to your will and pleasure, observing, however, the laws of
chivalry which lay down that no violence of any kind is to be
offered to any damsel. But I trust in God our Lord that the might of
one malignant enchanter may not prove so great but that the power of
another better disposed may prove superior to it, and then I promise
you my support and assistance, as I am bound to do by my profession,
which is none other than to give aid to the weak and needy."
  The goatherd eyed him, and noticing Don Quixote's sorry appearance
and looks, he was filled with wonder, and asked the barber, who was
next him, "Senor, who is this man who makes such a figure and talks in
such a strain?"
  "Who should it be," said the barber, "but the famous Don Quixote
of La Mancha, the undoer of injustice, the righter of wrongs, the
protector of damsels, the terror of giants, and the winner of
battles?"
  "That," said the goatherd, "sounds like what one reads in the
books of the knights-errant, who did all that you say this man does;
though it is my belief that either you are joking, or else this
gentleman has empty lodgings in his head."
  "You are a great scoundrel," said Don Quixote, "and it is you who
are empty and a fool. I am fuller than ever was the whoreson bitch
that bore you;" and passing from words to deeds, he caught up a loaf
that was near him and sent it full in the goatherd's face, with such
force that he flattened his nose; but the goatherd, who did not
understand jokes, and found himself roughly handled in such good
earnest, paying no respect to carpet, tablecloth, or diners, sprang
upon Don Quixote, and seizing him by the throat with both hands
would no doubt have throttled him, had not Sancho Panza that instant
come to the rescue, and grasping him by the shoulders flung him down
on the table, smashing plates, breaking glasses, and upsetting and
scattering everything on it. Don Quixote, finding himself free, strove
to get on top of the goatherd, who, with his face covered with
blood, and soundly kicked by Sancho, was on all fours feeling about
for one of the table-knives to take a bloody revenge with. The canon
and the curate, however, prevented him, but the barber so contrived it
that he got Don Quixote under him, and rained down upon him such a
shower of fisticuffs that the poor knight's face streamed with blood
as freely as his own. The canon and the curate were bursting with
laughter, the officers were capering with delight, and both the one
and the other hissed them on as they do dogs that are worrying one
another in a fight. Sancho alone was frantic, for he could not free
himself from the grasp of one of the canon's servants, who kept him
from going to his master's assistance.
  At last, while they were all, with the exception of the two bruisers
who were mauling each other, in high glee and enjoyment, they heard
a trumpet sound a note so doleful that it made them all look in the
direction whence the sound seemed to come. But the one that was most
excited by hearing it was Don Quixote, who though sorely against his
will he was under the goatherd, and something more than pretty well
pummelled, said to him, "Brother devil (for it is impossible but
that thou must be one since thou hast had might and strength enough to
overcome mine), I ask thee to agree to a truce for but one hour for
the solemn note of yonder trumpet that falls on our ears seems to me
to summon me to some new adventure." The goatherd, who was by this
time tired of pummelling and being pummelled, released him at once,
and Don Quixote rising to his feet and turning his eyes to the quarter
where the sound had been heard, suddenly saw coming down the slope
of a hill several men clad in white like penitents.
  The fact was that the clouds had that year withheld their moisture
from the earth, and in all the villages of the district they were
organising processions, rogations, and penances, imploring God to open
the hands of his mercy and send the rain; and to this end the people
of a village that was hard by were going in procession to a holy
hermitage there was on one side of that valley. Don Quixote when he
saw the strange garb of the penitents, without reflecting how often he
had seen it before, took it into his head that this was a case of
adventure, and that it fell to him alone as a knight-errant to
engage in it; and he was all the more confirmed in this notion, by the
idea that an image draped in black they had with them was some
illustrious lady that these villains and discourteous thieves were
carrying off by force. As soon as this occurred to him he ran with all
speed to Rocinante who was grazing at large, and taking the bridle and
the buckler from the saddle-bow, he had him bridled in an instant, and
calling to Sancho for his sword he mounted Rocinante, braced his
buckler on his arm, and in a loud voice exclaimed to those who stood
by, "Now, noble company, ye shall see how important it is that there
should be knights in the world professing the of knight-errantry; now,
I say, ye shall see, by the deliverance of that worthy lady who is
borne captive there, whether knights-errant deserve to be held in
estimation," and so saying he brought his legs to bear on Rocinante-
for he had no spurs- and at a full canter (for in all this veracious
history we never read of Rocinante fairly galloping) set off to
encounter the penitents, though the curate, the canon, and the
barber ran to prevent him. But it was out of their power, nor did he
even stop for the shouts of Sancho calling after him, "Where are you
going, Senor Don Quixote? What devils have possessed you to set you on
against our Catholic faith? Plague take me! mind, that is a procession
of penitents, and the lady they are carrying on that stand there is
the blessed image of the immaculate Virgin. Take care what you are
doing, senor, for this time it may be safely said you don't know
what you are about." Sancho laboured in vain, for his master was so
bent on coming to quarters with these sheeted figures and releasing
the lady in black that he did not hear a word; and even had he
heard, he would not have turned back if the king had ordered him. He
came up with the procession and reined in Rocinante, who was already
anxious enough to slacken speed a little, and in a hoarse, excited
voice he exclaimed, "You who hide your faces, perhaps because you
are not good subjects, pay attention and listen to what I am about
to say to you." The first to halt were those who were carrying the
image, and one of the four ecclesiastics who were chanting the Litany,
struck by the strange figure of Don Quixote, the leanness of
Rocinante, and the other ludicrous peculiarities he observed, said
in reply to him, "Brother, if you have anything to say to us say it
quickly, for these brethren are whipping themselves, and we cannot
stop, nor is it reasonable we should stop to hear anything, unless
indeed it is short enough to be said in two words."
  "I will say it in one," replied Don Quixote, "and it is this; that
at once, this very instant, ye release that fair lady whose tears
and sad aspect show plainly that ye are carrying her off against her
will, and that ye have committed some scandalous outrage against
her; and I, who was born into the world to redress all such like
wrongs, will not permit you to advance another step until you have
restored to her the liberty she pines for and deserves."
  From these words all the hearers concluded that he must be a madman,
and began to laugh heartily, and their laughter acted like gunpowder
on Don Quixote's fury, for drawing his sword without another word he
made a rush at the stand. One of those who supported it, leaving the
burden to his comrades, advanced to meet him, flourishing a forked
stick that he had for propping up the stand when resting, and with
this he caught a mighty cut Don Quixote made at him that severed it in
two; but with the portion that remained in his hand he dealt such a
thwack on the shoulder of Don Quixote's sword arm (which the buckler
could not protect against the clownish assault) that poor Don
Quixote came to the ground in a sad plight.
  Sancho Panza, who was coming on close behind puffing and blowing,
seeing him fall, cried out to his assailant not to strike him again,
for he was poor enchanted knight, who had never harmed anyone all
the days of his life; but what checked the clown was, not Sancho's
shouting, but seeing that Don Quixote did not stir hand or foot; and
so, fancying he had killed him, he hastily hitched up his tunic
under his girdle and took to his heels across the country like a deer.
  By this time all Don Quixote's companions had come up to where he
lay; but the processionists seeing them come running, and with them
the officers of the Brotherhood with their crossbows, apprehended
mischief, and clustering round the image, raised their hoods, and
grasped their scourges, as the priests did their tapers, and awaited
the attack, resolved to defend themselves and even to take the
offensive against their assailants if they could. Fortune, however,
arranged the matter better than they expected, for all Sancho did
was to fling himself on his master's body, raising over him the most
doleful and laughable lamentation that ever was heard, for he believed
he was dead. The curate was known to another curate who walked in
the procession, and their recognition of one another set at rest the
apprehensions of both parties; the first then told the other in two
words who Don Quixote was, and he and the whole troop of penitents
went to see if the poor gentleman was dead, and heard Sancho Panza
saying, with tears in his eyes, "Oh flower of chivalry, that with
one blow of a stick hast ended the course of thy well-spent life! Oh
pride of thy race, honour and glory of all La Mancha, nay, of all
the world, that for want of thee will be full of evil-doers, no longer
in fear of punishment for their misdeeds! Oh thou, generous above
all the Alexanders, since for only eight months of service thou hast
given me the best island the sea girds or surrounds! Humble with the
proud, haughty with the humble, encounterer of dangers, endurer of
outrages, enamoured without reason, imitator of the good, scourge of
the wicked, enemy of the mean, in short, knight-errant, which is all
that can be said!"
  At the cries and moans of Sancho, Don Quixote came to himself, and
the first word he said was, "He who lives separated from you, sweetest
Dulcinea, has greater miseries to endure than these. Aid me, friend
Sancho, to mount the enchanted cart, for I am not in a condition to
press the saddle of Rocinante, as this shoulder is all knocked to
pieces."
  "That I will do with all my heart, senor," said Sancho; "and let
us return to our village with these gentlemen, who seek your good, and
there we will prepare for making another sally, which may turn out
more profitable and creditable to us."
  "Thou art right, Sancho," returned Don Quixote; "It will be wise
to let the malign influence of the stars which now prevails pass off."
  The canon, the curate, and the barber told him he would act very
wisely in doing as he said; and so, highly amused at Sancho Panza's
simplicities, they placed Don Quixote in the cart as before. The
procession once more formed itself in order and proceeded on its road;
the goatherd took his leave of the party; the officers of the
Brotherhood declined to go any farther, and the curate paid them
what was due to them; the canon begged the curate to let him know
how Don Quixote did, whether he was cured of his madness or still
suffered from it, and then begged leave to continue his journey; in
short, they all separated and went their ways, leaving to themselves
the curate and the barber, Don Quixote, Sancho Panza, and the good
Rocinante, who regarded everything with as great resignation as his
master. The carter yoked his oxen and made Don Quixote comfortable
on a truss of hay, and at his usual deliberate pace took the road
the curate directed, and at the end of six days they reached Don
Quixote's village, and entered it about the middle of the day, which
it so happened was a Sunday, and the people were all in the plaza,
through which Don Quixote's cart passed. They all flocked to see
what was in the cart, and when they recognised their townsman they
were filled with amazement, and a boy ran off to bring the news to his
housekeeper and his niece that their master and uncle had come back
all lean and yellow and stretched on a truss of hay on an ox-cart.
It was piteous to hear the cries the two good ladies raised, how
they beat their breasts and poured out fresh maledictions on those
accursed books of chivalry; all which was renewed when they saw Don
Quixote coming in at the gate.
  At the news of Don Quixote's arrival Sancho Panza's wife came
running, for she by this time knew that her husband had gone away with
him as his squire, and on seeing Sancho, the first thing she asked him
was if the ass was well. Sancho replied that he was, better than his
master was.
  "Thanks be to God," said she, "for being so good to me; but now tell
me, my friend, what have you made by your squirings? What gown have
you brought me back? What shoes for your children?"
  "I bring nothing of that sort, wife," said Sancho; "though I bring
other things of more consequence and value."
  "I am very glad of that," returned his wife; "show me these things
of more value and consequence, my friend; for I want to see them to
cheer my heart that has been so sad and heavy all these ages that
you have been away."
  "I will show them to you at home, wife," said Sancho; "be content
for the present; for if it please God that we should again go on our
travels in search of adventures, you will soon see me a count, or
governor of an island, and that not one of those everyday ones, but
the best that is to be had."
  "Heaven grant it, husband," said she, "for indeed we have need of
it. But tell me, what's this about islands, for I don't understand
it?"
  "Honey is not for the mouth of the ass," returned Sancho; "all in
good time thou shalt see, wife- nay, thou wilt be surprised to hear
thyself called 'your ladyship' by all thy vassals."
  "What are you talking about, Sancho, with your ladyships, islands,
and vassals?" returned Teresa Panza- for so Sancho's wife was
called, though they were not relations, for in La Mancha it is
customary for wives to take their husbands' surnames.
  "Don't be in such a hurry to know all this, Teresa," said Sancho;
"it is enough that I am telling you the truth, so shut your mouth. But
I may tell you this much by the way, that there is nothing in the
world more delightful than to be a person of consideration, squire
to a knight-errant, and a seeker of adventures. To be sure most of
those one finds do not end as pleasantly as one could wish, for out of
a hundred, ninety-nine will turn out cross and contrary. I know it
by experience, for out of some I came blanketed, and out of others
belaboured. Still, for all that, it is a fine thing to be on the
look-out for what may happen, crossing mountains, searching woods,
climbing rocks, visiting castles, putting up at inns, all at free
quarters, and devil take the maravedi to pay."
  While this conversation passed between Sancho Panza and his wife,
Don Quixote's housekeeper and niece took him in and undressed him
and laid him in his old bed. He eyed them askance, and could not
make out where he was. The curate charged his niece to be very careful
to make her uncle comfortable and to keep a watch over him lest he
should make his escape from them again, telling her what they had been
obliged to do to bring him home. On this the pair once more lifted
up their voices and renewed their maledictions upon the books of
chivalry, and implored heaven to plunge the authors of such lies and
nonsense into the midst of the bottomless pit. They were, in short,
kept in anxiety and dread lest their uncle and master should give them
the slip the moment he found himself somewhat better, and as they
feared so it fell out.
  But the author of this history, though he has devoted research and
industry to the discovery of the deeds achieved by Don Quixote in
his third sally, has been unable to obtain any information
respecting them, at any rate derived from authentic documents;
tradition has merely preserved in the memory of La Mancha the fact
that Don Quixote, the third time he sallied forth from his home,
betook himself to Saragossa, where he was present at some famous
jousts which came off in that city, and that he had adventures there
worthy of his valour and high intelligence. Of his end and death he
could learn no particulars, nor would he have ascertained it or
known of it, if good fortune had not produced an old physician for him
who had in his possession a leaden box, which, according to his
account, had been discovered among the crumbling foundations of an
ancient hermitage that was being rebuilt; in which box were found
certain parchment manuscripts in Gothic character, but in Castilian
verse, containing many of his achievements, and setting forth the
beauty of Dulcinea, the form of Rocinante, the fidelity of Sancho
Panza, and the burial of Don Quixote himself, together with sundry
epitaphs and eulogies on his life and character; but all that could be
read and deciphered were those which the trustworthy author of this
new and unparalleled history here presents. And the said author asks
of those that shall read it nothing in return for the vast toil
which it has cost him in examining and searching the Manchegan
archives in order to bring it to light, save that they give him the
same credit that people of sense give to the books of chivalry that
pervade the world and are so popular; for with this he will consider
himself amply paid and fully satisfied, and will be encouraged to seek
out and produce other histories, if not as truthful, at least equal in
invention and not less entertaining. The first words written on the
parchment found in the leaden box were these:

               THE ACADEMICIANS OF
             ARGAMASILLA, A VILLAGE OF
                    LA MANCHA,
                ON THE LIFE AND DEATH
             OF DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA,
                 HOC SCRIPSERUNT
         MONICONGO, ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA,
              ON THE TOMB OF DON QUIXOTE

                        EPITAPH

     The scatterbrain that gave La Mancha more
       Rich spoils than Jason's; who a point so keen
       Had to his wit, and happier far had been
     If his wit's weathercock a blunter bore;
     The arm renowned far as Gaeta's shore,
       Cathay, and all the lands that lie between;
       The muse discreet and terrible in mien
     As ever wrote on brass in days of yore;
     He who surpassed the Amadises all,
       And who as naught the Galaors accounted,
         Supported by his love and gallantry:
     Who made the Belianises sing small,
       And sought renown on Rocinante mounted;
         Here, underneath this cold stone, doth he lie.
                         PANIAGUADO,
                 ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA,
                IN LAUDEM DULCINEAE DEL TOBOSO

                           SONNET
     She, whose full features may be here descried,
       High-bosomed, with a bearing of disdain,
       Is Dulcinea, she for whom in vain
     The great Don Quixote of La Mancha sighed.
     For her, Toboso's queen, from side to side
       He traversed the grim sierra, the champaign
       Of Aranjuez, and Montiel's famous plain:
     On Rocinante oft a weary ride.
     Malignant planets, cruel destiny,
       Pursued them both, the fair Manchegan dame,
     And the unconquered star of chivalry.
       Nor youth nor beauty saved her from the claim
     Of death; he paid love's bitter penalty,
       And left the marble to preserve his name.

          CAPRICHOSO, A MOST ACUTE ACADEMICIAN
         OF ARGAMASILLA, IN PRAISE OF ROCINANTE,
            STEED OF DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA

                       SONNET

     On that proud throne of diamantine sheen,
       Which the blood-reeking feet of Mars degrade,
     The mad Manchegan's banner now hath been
       By him in all its bravery displayed.
       There hath he hung his arms and trenchant blade
     Wherewith, achieving deeds till now unseen,
       He slays, lays low, cleaves, hews; but art hath made
     A novel style for our new paladin.
     If Amadis be the proud boast of Gaul,
       If by his progeny the fame of Greece
         Through all the regions of the earth be spread,
     Great Quixote crowned in grim Bellona's hall
       To-day exalts La Mancha over these,
         And above Greece or Gaul she holds her head.
     Nor ends his glory here, for his good steed
     Doth Brillador and Bayard far exceed;
     As mettled steeds compared with Rocinante,
     The reputation they have won is scanty.


          BURLADOR, ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA,
                    ON SANCHO PANZA

                        SONNET

    The worthy Sancho Panza here you see;
       A great soul once was in that body small,
       Nor was there squire upon this earthly ball
     So plain and simple, or of guile so free.
     Within an ace of being Count was he,
       And would have been but for the spite and gall
       Of this vile age, mean and illiberal,
     That cannot even let a donkey be.
     For mounted on an ass (excuse the word),
       By Rocinante's side this gentle squire
         Was wont his wandering master to attend.
     Delusive hopes that lure the common herd
       With promises of ease, the heart's desire,
         In shadows, dreams, and smoke ye always end.


                 CACHIDIABLO,
         ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA,
         ON THE TOMB OF DON QUIXOTE
                   EPITAPH

       The knight lies here below,
         Ill-errant and bruised sore,
         Whom Rocinante bore
       In his wanderings to and fro.
       By the side of the knight is laid
         Stolid man Sancho too,
         Than whom a squire more true
       Was not in the esquire trade.


                   TIQUITOC,
          ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA,
       ON THE TOMB OF DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO

                   EPITAPH
       Here Dulcinea lies.
         Plump was she and robust:
         Now she is ashes and dust:
       The end of all flesh that dies.
       A lady of high degree,
         With the port of a lofty dame,
         And the great Don Quixote's flame,
       And the pride of her village was she.

  These were all the verses that could be deciphered; the rest, the
writing being worm-eaten, were handed over to one of the
Academicians to make out their meaning conjecturally. We have been
informed that at the cost of many sleepless nights and much toil he
has succeeded, and that he means to publish them in hopes of Don
Quixote's third sally.

  "Forse altro cantera con miglior plectro."