About the strange adventure that happened to don Quixote with the wagon or cart of The Parliament of Death.
DON QUIXOTE was lost in thought as he rode along the road, considering the mischievous turn the enchanters had done him, changing his lady Dulcinea into the lowly village girl, and he couldn’t figure out a way to change her back. These thoughts upset him so, that without being aware of it, he let his reins drop, and Rocinante—realizing he could amble freely—stopped to graze on the green grass, which was abundant in those fields. Sancho Panza roused him from his reverie, telling him: “Señor, sadness was not made for beasts, rather for men, but if men dwell on it too much they become beasts. Perk up, your grace, and be yourself once again and pick up Rocinante’s reins. Take heart, wake up, and show that gallantry knights errant possess. What the devil is this? Why are you in such low spirits? «Are we here or in France?» Let the devil carry off as many Dulcineas as there are in the world, because the well-being of a single knight errant is worth more than all the enchantments and transformations on earth.”
“Hush, Sancho,” responded don Quixote with a voice not too faint, “hush, I say, and say no blasphemies against that enchanted lady—for I alone am responsible for her misfortune. Her ill luck is born of the envy that the wicked bear me.”
“That’s what I say,” responded Sancho. “«He who saw her then and sees her now, what heart wouldn’t weep?»”
“You can say that, Sancho,” replied don Quixote, “since you saw her in the wholeness of her beauty. The enchantment didn’t extend to the point of changing your sight or disguising her beauty. Their venom is aimed against me and my eyes alone. But I realize even so, Sancho, that in one detail you described her beauty poorly, because—if I’m not remembering incorrectly—you said that she has pearly eyes. Eyes that look like pearls belong rather to a fish than to a lady, and the way I see it, the eyes of Dulcinea must be almond-shaped green emeralds, with two heavenly rainbows that serve as eyebrows. Take these pearls away and give them to her teeth. Doubtless you were mixed up and took her eyes for her teeth.”
“Anything is possible,” responded Sancho, “because I was as much dazed by her beauty as you were vexed by her ugliness. But let’s commend it all to God, for He’s the knower of all things that will happen in this vale of tears, in this evil world we live in, where you can hardly find anything not tainted by iniquity, tricks, and mischief. One thing distresses me, señor mío, more than all the others, and that is thinking about what will happen when your grace conquers a giant or another knight and sends them to present themselves before the beauty of the lady Dulcinea—where will the poor giant or the poor, miserable defeated knight go to find her? I can imagine them wandering around El Toboso like idiots looking for my lady Dulcinea, and although they might see her in the middle of the street they won’t recognize her more than they would my father.”
“Perhaps, Sancho,” responded don Quixote, “the enchantment will not prevent the conquered people and the giants and knights that I send from recognizing Dulcinea. We’ll try an experiment with one or two of the first people I conquer and send to her—if they see her, I’ll command them to come back and tell me exactly what they saw.”
“I say, señor,” replied Sancho, “what you’ve said seems good to me, and with this ploy we’ll find out what we want to know, and if it turns out that her beauty is hidden only from you, the misfortune will be more yours than hers. But since Dulcinea will be healthy and happy, we can adapt and make the best of it, and we’ll continue looking for adventures, letting time run its course, because time is the best doctor for these and other greater maladies.”
Don Quixote wanted to answer Sancho Panza, but a cart that was crossing the road prevented him. It was carrying the most diverse and strange personages and figures that one could imagine. The person driving the cart and serving as carter was an ugly demon. The cart itself was open, without a canopy. The first figure who presented himself to don Quixote’s eyes was that of Death, with a human face; next to him was an Angel with some large painted wings. To his side was an Emperor with a crown, seemingly of gold, on his head. At the feet of Death was the god they call Cupid, without a blindfold over his eyes, but with his bow, quiver, and arrows. There was also a Knight in armor from head to foot, without a closed helmet, but wearing a plumed hat of several colors. With these came other persons of different dress and makeup. All this, seen so suddenly, startled don Quixote, and instilled fear in the heart of Sancho. But soon don Quixote became happy again, believing that he was being handed a new and dangerous adventure, and with this thought in mind, and with a heart resolved to meet any danger, he placed himself in front of the cart and, with a loud and menacing voice, said: “Carter, driver, devil, or whatever you are, tell me right now who you are, where you’re coming from, and who the people are that you’re taking on your wagon, for this appears more like Charon’s boat than a cart that’s used nowadays.”
To which the devil on the cart responded meekly: “Señor, we’re actors of the company belonging to Angulo el Malo. This morning, since it’s the Sunday following Corpus Christi, we performed a play called The Parliament of Death in a village on the other side of that hill, and we have to perform it again in that village you can see over yonder, and since the distance is so short, we’re going in costume so we won’t have to undress and dress up again. That young fellow is dressed as Death, the other as an Angel. That woman, who is the manager’s wife, is the Queen, the other fellow is a Soldier, that one an Emperor, and I’m the Devil, one of the main characters in the play, because I always play the important roles in this company. And if you want to know anything else, just ask me, and I’ll be able to answer in detail—since I’m the devil I know everything.”
“On the faith of a knight errant,” responded don Quixote, “when I saw this cart, I thought that some great adventure was awaiting me, and now I say that you have to touch appearances with your hand to let the truth come through. Go with God, good people, prepare your performance. And see if there’s anything I can help you with, and I’ll do it with pleasure and good will, because since I was a boy I’ve been a fan of the theater, and in my youth I thought I would become an actor.”
While this conversation was going on, as luck would have it, another member of the company arrived dressed as a jester, with many jingle bells, and at the end of a stick he had three cow bladders inflated with air. This young fellow, when he approached don Quixote, began to brandish his stick and beat the ground with the bladders and leapt in the air making the bells ring. Rocinante was so startled at this sight that, without don Quixote being able to stop him, taking the bit between his teeth, he began to race across the countryside with greater speed than one would have thought the bones of his body would allow. Sancho, who thought that his master was in danger of being thrown off, jumped down from his donkey and, and ran at full speed to rescue him. But when he got to him, he was already on the ground with Rocinante next to him, for he’d fallen along with his master. This was the usual outcome of the horse’s sprightliness and his master’s daring acts.
But hardly had Sancho left his mount to tend to don Quixote when the demon dancer with the bladders jumped onto the donkey and began beating him with the bladders. The donkey, more from fear and the noise than from the pain caused by the blows, flew along the countryside toward where they were going to perform. Sancho saw the racing donkey and the fall of his master and didn’t know which of the two situations to take care of first. But as a good squire and a good servant, the love of his master was stronger than the care of his donkey, although every time he saw the bladders rise in the air and fall upon the haunches of his donkey, they were for him anguish and fright of death, and he would have preferred that those blows had fallen on his own eyes than on the least hair of the donkey’s tail. With this perplexing tribulation he got to where don Quixote was, more beaten up than he would have liked, and, helping him back onto Rocinante, said to him: “Señor, the Devil has taken the donkey.”
“What devil?” asked don Quixote.
“The one with the bladders.” “Well, I’ll get the donkey back,” replied don Quixote, “even if that fellow should lock himself up with the donkey in the deepest dungeon of hell. Follow me, Sancho, for the cart is going slowly, and with one of its mules I’ll make up for the loss of your mount.”
“There’s no need to take those steps, señor,” responded Sancho. “Calm down, because it looks like the Devil has left the donkey, and he’s coming back.”
And it was true, because the Devil had fallen from the donkey to imitate don Quixote and Rocinante. The Devil then went on foot and the donkey returned to his master.
“Even so,” said don Quixote, “it’s a good idea to punish someone on the cart for the rudeness of that devil, even though it’s the Emperor himself.”
“Don’t consider doing that, your grace,” replied Sancho, “and take my advice—never take actors on since they’re a privileged group. I’ve seen an actor arrested for two murders and be set free. Your grace should know that they’re merry people and give pleasure, and everyone is on their side, everyone protects, helps, and treasures them, and all the more since that troupe is among those that have official charters from the crown, and all or most of them in their costumes and demeanor seem like princes.”
“No matter,” responded don Quixote, “the devil actor is not going to get away boasting, even though the whole human race is on his side.”
And saying this, he went over to the cart that was on its way to the town. He rode along shouting: “Stop, wait, you merry and festive mob, for I want to make you see how you should treat donkeys and other animals that serve as mounts to knights and squires of knights errant!”
Don Quixote’s shouts were so loud that the people in the cart heard and understood them, and, judging the intention of the person shouting by his words, Death leapt down from the cart in an instant, and after him the Emperor, the Devil cart driver and the Angel, joined by the Queen and Cupid. All of them picked up stones and waited in a line, expecting to receive don Quixote with the sharp edges of their stones. Don Quixote, who saw them form a lively squadron with their arms raised showing their intention to throw the stones, pulled back on Rocinante’s reins, and began to consider how he could attack with the least danger to himself. Sancho arrived, and seeing him ready to attack the well-formed squadron, said: “It would be foolhardy to try to take on such a venture, for there’s no defensive armor in the world to keep your hat on amidst flying stones, unless you hide under a bronze bell. You have to consider as well that it’s more recklessness than bravery for a single man to attack an army led by Death, where emperors fight in person, and where good and bad angels lend assistance. And if this consideration doesn’t make you pause, you should realize that among all those there you see kings, princes, and emperors, but there’s no knight errant.”
“Now,” said don Quixote, “you’ve hit upon the point that can and should make me change my mind. I can’t nor should I unsheathe my sword, as I’ve told you many times, against anyone who has not been dubbed a knight. It’s up to you, Sancho, to avenge the offense they did to your donkey, and I’ll lend support from here with shouts to offer sound advice.”
There’s no need, señor,” responded Sancho, “to take vengeance on anyone, since good Christians shouldn’t avenge offenses. Furthermore I’ll arrange with my donkey to submit his offense to my own will, which is to live peacefully all the days of life that heaven has allocated me.”
“If that’s your decision,” replied don Quixote, “good Sancho, discreet Sancho, Christian Sancho, sincere Sancho, let’s abandon these phantoms and seek better and worthier adventures. I believe that this area won’t fail to offer us many and very miraculous ones.”
He turned his reins, and Sancho went to get his donkey. Death and all of his renegade squadron went to their cart and continued their journey, and this was the happy ending of the fearful adventure of the Cart of Death, and may thanks be given to the upright counsel given by Sancho Panza to his master, to whom the next day an adventure befell with another enamored and errant knight, with no less suspense than the preceding one.
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